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Scumbagius dublinus

  • 17-12-2008 4:10pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭


    As a biologist I have been conducting field studies on the fascinating creature Scumbagius dublinus and its subspecies of Junkius dublinus.

    Among my observations I have found the Scumbagius dublinus will emit a loud piercing cry when trying to attract the attention of potential mates. The cry 'Heeeeerrrreeee Missssstttuuurrrr!' or "Hoooowwwwaarryaaa Luuuvvvv!' will normally precede a request for a cigarette or declaration of intent to copulate. But beware - the Scumbagius dublinus' amorous attentions can quickly turn to violence especially if spurned. The most common method of attack among the Scumbagius is what is known as 'bottling' (although in certain areas this may also be used in mating rituals). The Scumbagius will bottle its opponent before administering a further assault using its claw like hoofs when the opponent is on the ground. Frequently the attack is finished by insistence that 'he started it' or by fleeing at high speed while attempting to hold up its tracksuit bottoms.

    Aversion to pedestrian crossings is also one commonly observed trait of both the Scumbagius and Junkius dublinus. While the Commuterus dublinus will stand by the pedestrian crossing until the roadway is safe to cross the Scumbagius dublinus will never cross at pedestrian lights most likely due to its dislike of the beeping emitted at the correct crossing time.

    Instead the Scumbagius will dart quickly through the oncoming traffic, often experiencing an adrenaline rush from the speed of the oncoming cars. This adrenaline rush is vocalised loudly as 'Heeerrreeee Anto waaaiiittt uuuup!".

    While the Junkius dublinus is also averse to pedestrian crossings it will not cross roads at speed, instead choosing to weave unsteadily through traffic, often stopping to examine things on the ground, oblivious to danger.

    More research is needed on both. I will report back.


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,919 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    Troll Fail


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    O dear gawd, another silly posting!

    Poor Dubliners are getting it thick and fast these days, No wonder they are moving out.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    I <3 GuanYin wrote: »
    Troll Fail

    Fail post Fail.

    Ain't no trolling going on here boy. Just some good ol' fashion science!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 446 ✭✭phenomenon


    *sits back and awaits for onslaught of insults as OP is ripped apart*


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,836 ✭✭✭Sir Gallagher


    There's scumbags in Dublin and some of their names are Anto!!!!! Has somebody told the press?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Biggins wrote: »
    O dear gawd, another silly posting!

    Can I take back my newbie of the year vote for you so? :cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    The auld latin doesn't go down here.

    Tryin' too hard.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭Slow Motion


    Run out of chugger\roma complaints rants OP?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Can I take back my newbie of the year vote for you so? :cool:

    lol - Appreciate the vote but not at the price of victimizing a certain community.
    There's twats everywhere - I should know, I am one!
    Lets pick on the evil scumbags of the world instead!

    ...please?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    What percentage of baords is comprised of whiny students living in fear of 'scumbags'.

    Get a blog or grow a set.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Run out of chugger\roma complaints rants OP?

    I actually like Chuggers...... sssshhhhh!;)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    I didn't make it through the first paragraph tbh.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭Smart Bug


    I propose that the initial stages of research be carried out in a safe, secret underground facility. We can harness the individual specimens with chains, and introduce them to modern technologies so that we may see how their primitive brains cope with the stimulus.
    We may learn much from our under-developed cousins. Also, in order that we may effectively bond with the specimens, I propose the specimens be dubbed with the moniker 'Bud'.

    Here is a picture to further illustrate my proposals.

    http://www.best-horror-movies.com/images/Day-of-the-dead-Bub-small.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    stovelid wrote: »
    Get a blog or grow a set.

    Jaysus I never even said I was afraid of them. It was mostly the pedestrian crossings I'm fascinated by.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,919 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    Glad to see none of my fellow Dubs took the bait. If it was the other way around them culchies woulda been straight in here shouting the odds.

    Dublin 1
    Boggers 0


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    well at least they are not bog trotters,bog warriors,sh1tkickers,muldoons or culchies so they are ok in my book:)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,836 ✭✭✭Sir Gallagher


    I <3 GuanYin wrote: »
    Glad to see none of my fellow Dubs took the bait. If it was the other way around them culchies woulda been straight in here shouting the odds.

    Dublin 1
    Boggers 0

    You spoke too soon.... ^^^^^^


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 124 ✭✭pallepille


    well at least they are not bog trotters,bog warriors,sh1tkickers,muldoons or culchies so they are ok in my book:)

    hahaha none of the above, just the simple and polite - haymunchers


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    well at least they are not bog trotters,bog warriors,sh1tkickers,muldoons or culchies so they are ok in my book:)

    Does anybody say Mullahs anymore?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 371 ✭✭bealbocht


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Jaysus I never even said I was afraid of them. It was mostly the pedestrian crossings I'm fascinated by.

    yes... have seen this down on the quays. Bit like that thing they do in India, where if you actually want to cross the road, its better to close your eyes and just walk ...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,541 ✭✭✭Heisenberg.


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,137 ✭✭✭experiMental


    just film 'em. That will buy you a free slot at Cannes Film festival.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    At least in Cork city they have the decency to sit down with a cup in front of them and hide their face.

    Probably more out of necessity than decency.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    stovelid wrote: »
    Does anybody say Mullahs anymore?

    A Mullah? Never heard that one.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    There is something wrong with me, there must be!
    I like Dubliners, there, I said it. :D

    A lot more of them will give it to you straight. No bullcrap, just out right honesty.
    Ok, a small number might be rough abound the edges...

    ...but no rougher than a snow covered cold rams arse being chased by a randy farmer!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 89 ✭✭boring_job_guy


    I <3 GuanYin wrote: »
    Troll Fail

    FAIL!

    everyone knows trolls can't have high post counts :pac:!

    Due to this the OP is refered to as "humorous".


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    A Mullah? Never heard that one.

    Yeah, we always used Mulla(h?) when we were younger. We thought it was great when my wife told us that there was a town in Clare called Mullagh. :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Just to clarify I also like Dubs. It's just the Dublin scumbags that are afraid of pedestrian crossings I'm referring to.

    People get offended so easily these days.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    i think all the bright lights and loud noises of the big city frighten the country folk


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,465 ✭✭✭MOH


    A woman came up to me today in Dublin on whothefcukknows st. and said "Giz a yawro fur chissmuss mister". :D
    At least in Cork city they have the decency to sit down with a cup in front of them and hide their face. Cheek of her, coming within 2 feet of me, invading my presence.

    She was offering to sell you exclusive rights to Christmas for a euro, and you turned her down?!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,919 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    FAIL!

    everyone knows trolls can't have high post counts :pac:!

    Due to this the OP is refered to as "humorous".

    So by your definition I could never be deemed a troll? Interesting....

    /wanders over to tLL....


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Just to clarify I also like Dubs. It's just the Dublin scumbags that are afraid of pedestrian crossings I'm referring to.

    People get offended so easily these days.

    True. We've become too sensitive and too politically correct in some areas.

    Daft folk on crossings though, that just target practise for bad drivers!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭Smart Bug


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Just to clarify I also like Dubs. It's just the Dublin scumbags that are afraid of pedestrian crossings I'm referring to.


    I believe these creatures suffer a type of dromophobia

    People get offended so easily these days.


    Catagelophobia.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 89 ✭✭boring_job_guy


    I <3 GuanYin wrote: »
    So by your definition I could never be deemed a troll?

    exactly, well not on boards anyway.
    Interesting....

    /wanders over to tLL....


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Speaking of pedestrians...

    Why do folk stop suddenly in the doorways of shops and suddenly turn around (yes, I know there is an obvious answer!) and decide to go back out despite the fact that there might be a load of others behind them coming in too!
    I have nearly on more than one occasion nearly rammed someone's arse as they came to a sudden stop! (cue the jokes...)

    The decent thing to do would be to step aside and let the following crowd thru before exiting again! Ggrrr!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,349 ✭✭✭nobodythere


    The kid tries too hard


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    ANTO ..... dars sum fellah Dissing ya here , go and get rasher ,maggot , pil popper ,rabies ,short arm tony ,the fellinni brothers , jam jar ...oh and and bag of knucledusters i left in Yore Ma's .........and hurry will ya !

    Biggins wrote: »
    Speaking of pedestrians...

    Why do folk stop suddenly in the doorways of shops and suddenly turn around (yes, I know there is an obvious answer!) and decide to go back out despite the fact that there might be a load of others behind them coming in too!
    I have nearly on more than one occasion nearly rammed someone's arse as they came to a sudden stop! (cue the jokes...)

    The decent thing to do would be to step aside and let the following crowd thru before exiting again! Ggrrr!
    Sounds like a dsicription trying to mount ( more jokes ) a Luas or bus .Like be a lot easier to let us off the bleeding thing before boarding .-Rant over . ;)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    latchyco wrote: »
    ANTO ..... dars sum fellah Dissing ya here , go and get rasher ,maggot , pil popper ,rabies ,short arm tony ,the fellinni brothers , jam jar ...oh and and bag of knucledusters i left in Yore Ma's .........and hurry will ya !


    LOL :D Be Jeasus, sur' tell it as it tis!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,072 ✭✭✭marcsignal


    Excellent work OP ;-)

    I do believe I managed to capture some of this species you mention in a photo [url=https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/23565/46779.jpg[/url] (taken at the recommended safe distance)......

    .....and i snapped this dramatic shot, not two weeks ago, of another group, from close up!!

    Sadly my camera was stolen shortly after the second picture was taken :mad:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Biggins wrote: »
    LOL :D Be Jeasus, sur' tell it as it tis!
    Just describing my Dublin childhood .ANTO'S uncle ( Legless murphy ) was around then to :D


    Looks just like the Antos gang ( post 70s )Jaysus some people things never change .;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    marcsignal wrote: »
    Excellent work OP ;-)

    I do believe I managed to capture some of this species you mention in a photo [url=https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/23565/46779.jpg[/url] (taken at the recommended safe distance)......

    .....and i snapped this dramatic shot, not two weeks ago, of another group, from close up!!

    Sadly my camera was stolen shortly after the second picture was taken :mad:

    Be honest now. You just nicked those pics off Google images results for "chavs". Taking credit for some other photographer's bravery. Tsk tsk. :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,072 ✭✭✭marcsignal


    javaboy wrote: »
    Be honest now. You just nicked those pics off Google images results for "chavs". Taking credit for some other photographer's bravery. Tsk tsk. :pac:

    IT'S NOT TRUE !!! DON'T LOOK AT ME !!! DON'T LOOK AT ME !! :o


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,756 ✭✭✭InkSlinger67


    marcsignal wrote: »
    Excellent work OP ;-)

    I do believe I managed to capture some of this species you mention in a photo [url=https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/23565/46779.jpg[/url] (taken at the recommended safe distance)......

    .....and i snapped this dramatic shot, not two weeks ago, of another group, from close up!!

    Sadly my camera was stolen shortly after the second picture was taken :mad:

    Hardly prime specimens. Theys don't have any of dem 11-a-side moustaches and gold chains holding a "Story Bud!" engraved T-bar.

    Drimnacus Felacious Wankus Atdabackadabus is a typical breed found to roam the Dublin plains of a Friday or Saturday night. They are usually easily spotted carrying its main food source, Devil's Bit, and playing country rave anthems at max volume from their pink Noakia phones....Word to yer Muder!

    http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a79/UnaLovesU2/chavs2.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,243 ✭✭✭truecrippler


    OP, YORE MA is a Scumbagius dublinus.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    OP, YORE MA is a Scumbagius dublinus.


    Jeasus' sur ya kin do betta than tha'
    Dinna see da cumin' :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 88,972 ✭✭✭✭mike65


    I <3 GuanYin telling it like it is





















    from Perth, Australia. Nice :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    Ah screw it the whole country is going to hell anyway.

    Maybe we should get some scumbags in the Dail.....see what happens


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    HouseHippo wrote: »
    Maybe we should get some more scumbags in the Dail.....see what happens

    FYP ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    javaboy wrote: »
    FYP ;)
    :) My mistake


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