Scumbagius dublinus

AnonoBoy · 17-12-2008 5:10pm #1

As a biologist I have been conducting field studies on the fascinating creature Scumbagius dublinus and its subspecies of Junkius dublinus.

Among my observations I have found the Scumbagius dublinus will emit a loud piercing cry when trying to attract the attention of potential mates. The cry 'Heeeeerrrreeee Missssstttuuurrrr!' or "Hoooowwwwaarryaaa Luuuvvvv!' will normally precede a request for a cigarette or declaration of intent to copulate. But beware - the Scumbagius dublinus' amorous attentions can quickly turn to violence especially if spurned. The most common method of attack among the Scumbagius is what is known as 'bottling' (although in certain areas this may also be used in mating rituals). The Scumbagius will bottle its opponent before administering a further assault using its claw like hoofs when the opponent is on the ground. Frequently the attack is finished by insistence that 'he started it' or by fleeing at high speed while attempting to hold up its tracksuit bottoms.

Aversion to pedestrian crossings is also one commonly observed trait of both the Scumbagius and Junkius dublinus. While the Commuterus dublinus will stand by the pedestrian crossing until the roadway is safe to cross the Scumbagius dublinus will never cross at pedestrian lights most likely due to its dislike of the beeping emitted at the correct crossing time.

Instead the Scumbagius will dart quickly through the oncoming traffic, often experiencing an adrenaline rush from the speed of the oncoming cars. This adrenaline rush is vocalised loudly as 'Heeerrreeee Anto waaaiiittt uuuup!".

While the Junkius dublinus is also averse to pedestrian crossings it will not cross roads at speed, instead choosing to weave unsteadily through traffic, often stopping to examine things on the ground, oblivious to danger.

More research is needed on both. I will report back.

javaboy · 17-12-2008 5:11pm

https://www.blogger.com/start

Xavi6 · 17-12-2008 5:11pm

Troll Fail

Biggins · 17-12-2008 5:12pm

O dear gawd, another silly posting!

Poor Dubliners are getting it thick and fast these days, No wonder they are moving out.

AnonoBoy · 17-12-2008 5:13pm

I GuanYin wrote: »

Troll Fail

Fail post Fail.

Ain't no trolling going on here boy. Just some good ol' fashion science!

phenomenon · 17-12-2008 5:13pm

*sits back and awaits for onslaught of insults as OP is ripped apart*

Sir Gallagher · 17-12-2008 5:13pm

There's scumbags in Dublin and some of their names are Anto!!!!! Has somebody told the press?

AnonoBoy · 17-12-2008 5:13pm

Biggins wrote: »

O dear gawd, another silly posting!

Can I take back my newbie of the year vote for you so? :cool:

FlutterinBantam · 17-12-2008 5:14pm

The auld latin doesn't go down here.

Tryin' too hard.

Slow Motion · 17-12-2008 5:16pm

Run out of chugger\roma complaints rants OP?

Biggins · 17-12-2008 5:16pm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Can I take back my newbie of the year vote for you so? :cool:

lol - Appreciate the vote but not at the price of victimizing a certain community.
There's twats everywhere - I should know, I am one!
Lets pick on the evil scumbags of the world instead!

...please?

stovelid · 17-12-2008 5:18pm

What percentage of baords is comprised of whiny students living in fear of 'scumbags'.

Get a blog or grow a set.

AnonoBoy · 17-12-2008 5:18pm

Slow Motion wrote: »

Run out of chugger\roma complaints rants OP?

I actually like Chuggers...... sssshhhhh!;)

MagicMarker · 17-12-2008 5:18pm

I didn't make it through the first paragraph tbh.

Smart Bug · 17-12-2008 5:18pm

I propose that the initial stages of research be carried out in a safe, secret underground facility. We can harness the individual specimens with chains, and introduce them to modern technologies so that we may see how their primitive brains cope with the stimulus.
We may learn much from our under-developed cousins. Also, in order that we may effectively bond with the specimens, I propose the specimens be dubbed with the moniker 'Bud'.

Here is a picture to further illustrate my proposals.

http://www.best-horror-movies.com/images/Day-of-the-dead-Bub-small.jpg

AnonoBoy · 17-12-2008 5:18pm

stovelid wrote: »

Get a blog or grow a set.

Jaysus I never even said I was afraid of them. It was mostly the pedestrian crossings I'm fascinated by.

Xavi6 · 17-12-2008 5:18pm

Glad to see none of my fellow Dubs took the bait. If it was the other way around them culchies woulda been straight in here shouting the odds.

Dublin 1
Boggers 0

SEPT 23 1989 · 17-12-2008 5:21pm

well at least they are not bog trotters,bog warriors,sh1tkickers,muldoons or culchies so they are ok in my book:)

Sir Gallagher · 17-12-2008 5:22pm

I GuanYin wrote: »

Glad to see none of my fellow Dubs took the bait. If it was the other way around them culchies woulda been straight in here shouting the odds.

Dublin 1
Boggers 0

You spoke too soon.... ^^^^^^

pallepille · 17-12-2008 5:24pm

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

well at least they are not bog trotters,bog warriors,sh1tkickers,muldoons or culchies so they are ok in my book:)

hahaha none of the above, just the simple and polite - haymunchers

stovelid · 17-12-2008 5:24pm

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

well at least they are not bog trotters,bog warriors,sh1tkickers,muldoons or culchies so they are ok in my book:)

Does anybody say Mullahs anymore?

bealbocht · 17-12-2008 5:25pm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Jaysus I never even said I was afraid of them. It was mostly the pedestrian crossings I'm fascinated by.

yes... have seen this down on the quays. Bit like that thing they do in India, where if you actually want to cross the road, its better to close your eyes and just walk ...

Heisenberg. · 17-12-2008 5:27pm

This post has been deleted.

experiMental · 17-12-2008 5:27pm

just film 'em. That will buy you a free slot at Cannes Film festival.

stovelid · 17-12-2008 5:29pm

The Scientist wrote: »

At least in Cork city they have the decency to sit down with a cup in front of them and hide their face.

Probably more out of necessity than decency.

AnonoBoy · 17-12-2008 5:32pm

stovelid wrote: »

Does anybody say Mullahs anymore?

A Mullah? Never heard that one.

Biggins · 17-12-2008 5:34pm

There is something wrong with me, there must be!
I like Dubliners, there, I said it.

A lot more of them will give it to you straight. No bullcrap, just out right honesty.
Ok, a small number might be rough abound the edges...

...but no rougher than a snow covered cold rams arse being chased by a randy farmer!

boring_job_guy · 17-12-2008 5:41pm

I GuanYin wrote: »

Troll Fail

FAIL!

everyone knows trolls can't have high post counts :pac:!

Due to this the OP is refered to as "humorous".

stovelid · 17-12-2008 5:41pm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

A Mullah? Never heard that one.

Yeah, we always used Mulla(h?) when we were younger. We thought it was great when my wife told us that there was a town in Clare called Mullagh.

AnonoBoy · 17-12-2008 5:42pm

Just to clarify I also like Dubs. It's just the Dublin scumbags that are afraid of pedestrian crossings I'm referring to.

People get offended so easily these days.

SEPT 23 1989 · 17-12-2008 5:44pm

i think all the bright lights and loud noises of the big city frighten the country folk

Scumbagius dublinus

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