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immaculate conception????

  • 10-12-2008 3:30pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    :confused: calling all theologans....

    on the 8th of december we had the feast of the "imaculate conception" :rolleyes:

    so my question is ....seeing that jesus as born on the 25th, does that mean that mary was only pregnant for two and a bit weeks ?? or twelve and a bits months...either way it doesn't add up:confused:


«13

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,247 ✭✭✭✭6th


    Question: Are you really that dumb?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    fryup wrote: »

    so my question is ....seeing that jesus as born on the 25th, does that mean that mary was only pregnant for two and a bit weeks ?? or twelve and a bits months...either way it doesn't add up:confused:



    whisper/ it was all made up.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    Sadotage wrote: »
    Question: Are you really that dumb?

    well i mean she got preggers on the 8th and he was born on the 25th...so whats goin on there??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    fryup wrote: »
    :confused: calling all theologans....

    on the 8th of december we had the feast of the "imaculate conception" :rolleyes:

    so my question is ....seeing that jesus as born on the 25th, does that mean that mary was only pregnant for two and a bit weeks ?? or twelve and a bits months...either way it doesn't add up:confused:

    I doubt it's supposed to represent the actual date of the conception. More symbolic don't ya know?


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  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,343 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    She didn't get preggers on the 8th - she was conceived on the 8th.

    It's fierce hard to follow, I know.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Piste wrote: »
    Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

    So they're finally admitting that the little brasser did get up on Joseph, then?

    The DUP will be pleased.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 291 ✭✭Sonderval


    she got preggers on the 8th and he was born on the 25th...so whats goin on there??

    Your ma!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    Piste wrote: »
    Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

    Not a lot of people know that! I only realised that's what it was about for the first time last year :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,255 ✭✭✭anonymous_joe


    Piste wrote: »
    Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

    Now you've ruined people's fun with a sensible argument. :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    I dont know whether to tell the OP that Jesus was an Aborted Foetus or a Chestbursting Alien. Both are technically correct.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,247 ✭✭✭✭6th


    Thank you for answering my question. Collect your cert at the door.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I doubt it's supposed to represent the actual date of the conception. More symbolic don't ya know?

    Aye, just like his birthdate.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    ffs.

    immaculate conception isn't when jaysis was conceived.

    it refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without sin.

    therefore, she is immaculate.

    idiots.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    fryup wrote: »
    does that mean that mary was only pregnant for two and a bit weeks ??

    Yes it does. Mary was infact a small hamster. Not many people know that


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    Piste wrote: »
    Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

    is that supposed to imply that even within marraige sex is a sin?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    vinylmesh wrote: »
    is that supposed to imply that even within marraige sex is a sin?

    No.

    It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.


    Jesus fúcking christ.

    Were you lot thought nothing in school?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    Des wrote: »
    ffs.

    immaculate conception isn't when jaysis was conceived.

    it refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without sin.

    well thats news to me:confused:, so you're telling me mary's mother did'nt do the business either??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 54 ✭✭ordinary_story


    -Religion Lite-
    "for those that sat in the back of the classroom"


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    vinylmesh wrote: »
    is that supposed to imply that even within marraige sex is a sin?

    May be apparently so but the Rome Org' overlooks that! :rolleyes:

    "Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin" - what was she? A pre-programmed android?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Cokehead Mother


    fryup wrote: »
    well thats news to me:confused:, so you're telling me mary's mother did'nt do the business either??

    Please stop posting in this thread.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    fryup wrote: »
    well thats news to me:confused:, so you're telling me mary's mother did'nt do the business either??

    nope.

    :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 885 ✭✭✭Roadend


    Des wrote: »
    No.

    It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.


    Jesus fúcking christ.

    Were you lot thought nothing in school?

    So when she pulled off young Joseph behind the synagogue after prayers she wasn't sinning?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Des wrote: »
    ffs.

    immaculate conception isn't when jaysis was conceived.

    it refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without sin.

    therefore, she is immaculate.

    idiots.

    Relax Des it's a common misconception.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,824 ✭✭✭ShooterSF


    It's been worked out that if Jesus did exist he was most likely born more around march or april. You're forgetting that the 25th of December is celebrating the birth of Santa.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Des wrote: »
    ffs.

    immaculate conception isn't when jaysis was conceived.

    it refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without sin.

    therefore, she is immaculate.

    idiots.

    I can honestly say I had no idea. I always thought that it meant Jaysus was made without any 'input' from Joseph. :o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    ShooterSF wrote: »
    You're forgetting that the 25th of December is celebrating the birth of Santa.

    so santa was born of immaculate conception as well:eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭toiletduck


    fryup wrote: »
    so santa was born of immaculate conception as well:eek:

    Like Darth Vader.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭Valmont


    Ahhh I see now. I always thought it was the immaculate contraption that got our virgin mary pregnant and that's why she was virgin, it wasn't a real cock.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    Des wrote: »
    No.

    It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.


    Jesus fúcking christ.

    Were you lot thought nothing in school?

    yeah, but they way they put the emphasis on conception,

    They don't say that she was created without sin. They say she was immaculately CONCEVIEVED implying there was something different about her actual conception. As if sex and immaculateness are somehow incompatible (which would make sense from the churches self-denial stance back in the middle ages).

    The words "immaculate conception" make it sound as if there's something unclean about normal sex.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    Valmont wrote: »
    Ahhh I see now. I always thought it was the immaculate contraption that got our virgin mary pregnant and that's why she was virgin, it wasn't a real cock.
    The turkey baster?

    Is that why we have turkey for Christmas dinner?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,219 ✭✭✭✭biko


    fryup wrote: »
    so my question is ....seeing that jesus as born on the 25th
    Nowhere in the Bible does it say that Christ was born on Dec. 25th or at any time during the winter months.

    For the Pagans, the month of December, especially the 22nd was held in celebration in the change of the sun. The sun starts to get stronger after this day.

    The Church, recognizing the large celebration of this particular day by the Pagans, used it as the birth date of Christ in order to gain followers.

    350 AD – Pope Julius declared the 25th of December as the official date of Jesus Christ’s birthday.

    Christ was more likely born in June, if indeed born at all.



    Would you like to know more?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Terry wrote: »
    The turkey baster?

    Is that why we have turkey for Christmas dinner?

    It's also where the term "bastard" came from. When someone was immaculately conceived with an immaculate contraption they were said to be "baster'ed". Over time this evolved into the word to describe a fatherless child we all know and love today.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    Des wrote: »
    No.

    It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.


    Jesus fúcking christ.

    Were you lot thought nothing in school?

    Wow, touchy over something so insignificant!

    Were you not taught how to spell in school? :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    javaboy wrote: »
    It's also where the term "bastard" came from. When someone was immaculately conceived with an immaculate contraption they were said to be "baster'ed". Over time this evolved into the word to describe a fatherless child we all know and love today.
    It's really amazing what you can learn on this site.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    biko wrote: »

    Christ was more likely born in June, if indeed born at all.

    blasphemer!!!! stone him stone him!!!:mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 885 ✭✭✭Roadend


    Did aul Joe ever hit the roof when he found out Mary was sleeping around behind his back?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Roadend wrote: »
    Did aul Joe ever hit the roof when he found out Mary was sleeping around behind his back?

    She was sleeping with God Himself in fairness. If you're gonna be a cuckold, you might as well lose to the best there is.

    Personally I'd see it as a badge of honour. "I'm so damn good, only the supreme being could tempt my woman away from me."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    Roadend wrote: »
    Did aul Joe ever hit the roof when he found out Mary was sleeping around behind his back?

    good question..............imagine mary trying to explain that..."" no no you don't understand it was imaculate conception"

    Joe:mad: - "ya right!! pull the other one"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    fryup wrote: »
    blasphemer!!!! stone him stone him!!!:mad:

    who doesn't like getting stoned?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 885 ✭✭✭Roadend


    javaboy wrote: »
    She was sleeping with God Himself in fairness. If you're gonna be a cuckold, you might as well lose to the best there is.

    Personally I'd see it as a badge of honour. "I'm so damn good, only the supreme being could tempt my woman away from me."
    But sure how could Joe ever measure up after that. What say we do the no pants dance, Mary? Sorry Joe, I've done God now, you'll never be able to satisfy me like he did.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,597 ✭✭✭anniehoo


    stovelid wrote: »
    I can honestly say I had no idea. I always thought that it meant Jaysus was made without any 'input' from Joseph. :o

    Err me too ..and i sat up the front of the class!

    /waits for Des to freak out


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    seriously...can someone just clear this up...

    both jesus and his mother mary were born from immaculate conception??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,794 ✭✭✭JC 2K3


    So if Jesus appeared to you and asked you who was immaculately conceived, what would the correct answer be?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    fryup wrote: »
    seriously...can someone just clear this up...

    both jesus and his mother mary were born from immaculate conception??

    no.

    Mary was.

    jesus wasn't.

    jesus wasn't a human being, he is a deity.

    He doesn't commit sin anyway.

    Mary was created, by God, without the ability to commit any sin, so she would be the perfect vessel for his son.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    JC 2K3 wrote: »
    So if Jesus appeared to you and asked you who was immaculately conceived, what would the correct answer be?

    I would say it was a trick question and then rush to the A&E and insist they treat me for hallucinations.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Des wrote: »
    Mary was created, by God, without the ability to commit any sin, so she would be the perfect vessel for his son.

    I dunno. Being able to commit the odd sin might have been necessary in order to be the perfect vessel for Jesus.

    Can you imagine if things had worked out differently on the big night? What if Herod's soldiers have caught up with Mary, Joseph and the babby that night?

    Soldier: "Hey we're looking for a particular newborn to kill. That one there in the swaddling clothing wouldn't be the son of God would it?"
    Mary: "Em.... uhhhh.... n.... ah flip yes, yes it is."
    /soldier stabs baby
    Mary: ":( Oh if only I'd had the ability to tell the odd white lie!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    javaboy wrote: »
    I dunno.

    it's part of the Catholic Doctrine.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,185 ✭✭✭asdasd


    It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.

    Maybe she didnt have that ability. But the immaculate conception means that she was born without sin, and the rest of us were born with sin. Something to do with adam and eve. So we're guilty from the first breath.

    luckily in more rational times we have removed all ideologies which blame people at birth for something their ancestors may or may not have done.

    Well except white guilt.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    javaboy wrote: »
    I dunno. Being able to commit the odd sin might have been necessary in order to be the perfect vessel for Jesus.

    Can you imagine if things had worked out differently on the big night? What if Herod's soldiers have caught up with Mary, Joseph and the babby that night?

    Soldier: "Hey we're looking for a particular newborn to kill. That one there in the swaddling clothing wouldn't be the son of God would it?"
    Mary: "Em.... uhhhh.... n.... ah flip yes, yes it is."
    /soldier stabs baby
    Mary: ":( Oh if only I'd had the ability to tell the odd white lie!"

    Lying is not a sin. It specifically states in the bible that bearing false witness against your neighbour is a sin. It says nothing of other lies.


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