immaculate conception????

fryup

calling all theologans....

on the 8th of december we had the feast of the "imaculate conception" :rolleyes:

so my question is ....seeing that jesus as born on the 25th, does that mean that mary was only pregnant for two and a bit weeks ?? or twelve and a bits months...either way it doesn't add up

6th

Question: Are you really that dumb?

stovelid

fryup wrote: »

so my question is ....seeing that jesus as born on the 25th, does that mean that mary was only pregnant for two and a bit weeks ?? or twelve and a bits months...either way it doesn't add up

whisper/ it was all made up.

Piste

Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

fryup

Sadotage wrote: »

Question: Are you really that dumb?

well i mean she got preggers on the 8th and he was born on the 25th...so whats goin on there??

AnonoBoy

fryup wrote: »

calling all theologans....

on the 8th of december we had the feast of the "imaculate conception" :rolleyes:

so my question is ....seeing that jesus as born on the 25th, does that mean that mary was only pregnant for two and a bit weeks ?? or twelve and a bits months...either way it doesn't add up

I doubt it's supposed to represent the actual date of the conception. More symbolic don't ya know?

spurious

She didn't get preggers on the 8th - she was conceived on the 8th.

It's fierce hard to follow, I know.

stovelid

Piste wrote: »

Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

So they're finally admitting that the little brasser did get up on Joseph, then?

The DUP will be pleased.

Sonderval

she got preggers on the 8th and he was born on the 25th...so whats goin on there??

Your ma!

Malari

Piste wrote: »

Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

Not a lot of people know that! I only realised that's what it was about for the first time last year :pac:

anonymous_joe

Piste wrote: »

Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

Now you've ruined people's fun with a sensible argument. :pac:

Overheal

I dont know whether to tell the OP that Jesus was an Aborted Foetus or a Chestbursting Alien. Both are technically correct.

6th

Thank you for answering my question. Collect your cert at the door.

Biggins

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I doubt it's supposed to represent the actual date of the conception. More symbolic don't ya know?

Aye, just like his birthdate.

_blank_

ffs.

immaculate conception isn't when jaysis was conceived.

it refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without sin.

therefore, she is immaculate.

idiots.

Turd Ferguson

fryup wrote: »

does that mean that mary was only pregnant for two and a bit weeks ??

Yes it does. Mary was infact a small hamster. Not many people know that

Prof.Badass

Piste wrote: »

Lolfail. The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary who is said to have been born without sin.

is that supposed to imply that even within marraige sex is a sin?

_blank_

vinylmesh wrote: »

is that supposed to imply that even within marraige sex is a sin?

No.

It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.


Jesus fúcking christ.

Were you lot thought nothing in school?

fryup

Des wrote: »

ffs.

immaculate conception isn't when jaysis was conceived.

it refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without sin.

well thats news to me, so you're telling me mary's mother did'nt do the business either??

ordinary_story

-Religion Lite-
"for those that sat in the back of the classroom"

Biggins

vinylmesh wrote: »

is that supposed to imply that even within marraige sex is a sin?

May be apparently so but the Rome Org' overlooks that! :rolleyes:

"Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin" - what was she? A pre-programmed android?

Cokehead Mother

fryup wrote: »

well thats news to me, so you're telling me mary's mother did'nt do the business either??

Please stop posting in this thread.

_blank_

fryup wrote: »

well thats news to me, so you're telling me mary's mother did'nt do the business either??

nope.

:rolleyes:

Roadend

Des wrote: »

No.

It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.


Jesus fúcking christ.

Were you lot thought nothing in school?

So when she pulled off young Joseph behind the synagogue after prayers she wasn't sinning?

javaboy

Des wrote: »

ffs.

immaculate conception isn't when jaysis was conceived.

it refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without sin.

therefore, she is immaculate.

idiots.

Relax Des it's a common misconception.

ShooterSF

It's been worked out that if Jesus did exist he was most likely born more around march or april. You're forgetting that the 25th of December is celebrating the birth of Santa.

stovelid

Des wrote: »

ffs.

immaculate conception isn't when jaysis was conceived.

it refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without sin.

therefore, she is immaculate.

idiots.

I can honestly say I had no idea. I always thought that it meant Jaysus was made without any 'input' from Joseph.

fryup

ShooterSF wrote: »

You're forgetting that the 25th of December is celebrating the birth of Santa.

so santa was born of immaculate conception as well:eek:

toiletduck

fryup wrote: »

so santa was born of immaculate conception as well:eek:

Like Darth Vader.

Valmont

Ahhh I see now. I always thought it was the immaculate contraption that got our virgin mary pregnant and that's why she was virgin, it wasn't a real cock.

Prof.Badass

Des wrote: »

No.

It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.


Jesus fúcking christ.

Were you lot thought nothing in school?

yeah, but they way they put the emphasis on conception,

They don't say that she was created without sin. They say she was immaculately CONCEVIEVED implying there was something different about her actual conception. As if sex and immaculateness are somehow incompatible (which would make sense from the churches self-denial stance back in the middle ages).

The words "immaculate conception" make it sound as if there's something unclean about normal sex.

Terry

Valmont wrote: »

Ahhh I see now. I always thought it was the immaculate contraption that got our virgin mary pregnant and that's why she was virgin, it wasn't a real cock.

The turkey baster?

Is that why we have turkey for Christmas dinner?

biko

fryup wrote: »

so my question is ....seeing that jesus as born on the 25th

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that Christ was born on Dec. 25th or at any time during the winter months.

For the Pagans, the month of December, especially the 22nd was held in celebration in the change of the sun. The sun starts to get stronger after this day.

The Church, recognizing the large celebration of this particular day by the Pagans, used it as the birth date of Christ in order to gain followers.

350 AD – Pope Julius declared the 25th of December as the official date of Jesus Christ’s birthday.

Christ was more likely born in June, if indeed born at all.



Would you like to know more?

javaboy

Terry wrote: »

The turkey baster?

Is that why we have turkey for Christmas dinner?

It's also where the term "bastard" came from. When someone was immaculately conceived with an immaculate contraption they were said to be "baster'ed". Over time this evolved into the word to describe a fatherless child we all know and love today.

Malari

Des wrote: »

No.

It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.


Jesus fúcking christ.

Were you lot thought nothing in school?

Wow, touchy over something so insignificant!

Were you not taught how to spell in school?

Terry

javaboy wrote: »

It's also where the term "bastard" came from. When someone was immaculately conceived with an immaculate contraption they were said to be "baster'ed". Over time this evolved into the word to describe a fatherless child we all know and love today.

It's really amazing what you can learn on this site.

fryup

biko wrote: »

Christ was more likely born in June, if indeed born at all.

blasphemer!!!! stone him stone him!!!:mad:

Roadend

Did aul Joe ever hit the roof when he found out Mary was sleeping around behind his back?

javaboy

Roadend wrote: »

Did aul Joe ever hit the roof when he found out Mary was sleeping around behind his back?

She was sleeping with God Himself in fairness. If you're gonna be a cuckold, you might as well lose to the best there is.

Personally I'd see it as a badge of honour. "I'm so damn good, only the supreme being could tempt my woman away from me."

fryup

Roadend wrote: »

Did aul Joe ever hit the roof when he found out Mary was sleeping around behind his back?

good question..............imagine mary trying to explain that..."" no no you don't understand it was imaculate conception"

Joe:mad: - "ya right!! pull the other one"

Prof.Badass

fryup wrote: »

blasphemer!!!! stone him stone him!!!:mad:

who doesn't like getting stoned?

Roadend

javaboy wrote: »

She was sleeping with God Himself in fairness. If you're gonna be a cuckold, you might as well lose to the best there is.

Personally I'd see it as a badge of honour. "I'm so damn good, only the supreme being could tempt my woman away from me."

But sure how could Joe ever measure up after that. What say we do the no pants dance, Mary? Sorry Joe, I've done God now, you'll never be able to satisfy me like he did.

anniehoo

stovelid wrote: »

I can honestly say I had no idea. I always thought that it meant Jaysus was made without any 'input' from Joseph.

Err me too ..and i sat up the front of the class!

/waits for Des to freak out

fryup

seriously...can someone just clear this up...

both jesus and his mother mary were born from immaculate conception??

JC 2K3

So if Jesus appeared to you and asked you who was immaculately conceived, what would the correct answer be?

_blank_

fryup wrote: »

seriously...can someone just clear this up...

both jesus and his mother mary were born from immaculate conception??

no.

Mary was.

jesus wasn't.

jesus wasn't a human being, he is a deity.

He doesn't commit sin anyway.

Mary was created, by God, without the ability to commit any sin, so she would be the perfect vessel for his son.

Malari

JC 2K3 wrote: »

So if Jesus appeared to you and asked you who was immaculately conceived, what would the correct answer be?

I would say it was a trick question and then rush to the A&E and insist they treat me for hallucinations.

javaboy

Des wrote: »

Mary was created, by God, without the ability to commit any sin, so she would be the perfect vessel for his son.

I dunno. Being able to commit the odd sin might have been necessary in order to be the perfect vessel for Jesus.

Can you imagine if things had worked out differently on the big night? What if Herod's soldiers have caught up with Mary, Joseph and the babby that night?

Soldier: "Hey we're looking for a particular newborn to kill. That one there in the swaddling clothing wouldn't be the son of God would it?"
Mary: "Em.... uhhhh.... n.... ah flip yes, yes it is."
/soldier stabs baby
Mary: ":( Oh if only I'd had the ability to tell the odd white lie!"

_blank_

javaboy wrote: »

I dunno.

it's part of the Catholic Doctrine.

asdasd

It refers to the fact that Mary was conceived without the ability to commit any sin.

Maybe she didnt have that ability. But the immaculate conception means that she was born without sin, and the rest of us were born with sin. Something to do with adam and eve. So we're guilty from the first breath.

luckily in more rational times we have removed all ideologies which blame people at birth for something their ancestors may or may not have done.

Well except white guilt.

Prof.Badass

javaboy wrote: »

I dunno. Being able to commit the odd sin might have been necessary in order to be the perfect vessel for Jesus.

Can you imagine if things had worked out differently on the big night? What if Herod's soldiers have caught up with Mary, Joseph and the babby that night?

Soldier: "Hey we're looking for a particular newborn to kill. That one there in the swaddling clothing wouldn't be the son of God would it?"
Mary: "Em.... uhhhh.... n.... ah flip yes, yes it is."
/soldier stabs baby
Mary: ":( Oh if only I'd had the ability to tell the odd white lie!"

Lying is not a sin. It specifically states in the bible that bearing false witness against your neighbour is a sin. It says nothing of other lies.