7-year girlfriend - over in 1 month - I don't understand

nobodythere

That's crushing, and many of the posters have been extremely tough on you. Let me get this straight: You were still going out with her while she did this yes? If so it's an absolutely rotten thing to do.

Show no mercy to her, cut off contact and do what SharkWound said.

Tough times ahead but you'll get through it

mumhaabu

Cut off the mammy and the ex, 7 years is an incredible amount of both your lives to have wasted. You need to become more independent and stop allowing your mother to control your life. If your father is around/alive etc. what is his opinion. I see this often with Mothers controlling their Daughters but for a son to allow it is terrible. Grow a pair of balls and stop this egotistical woman ruining your life. If you don't act now you will suddenly wake up in 2030 as a lonely middle aged man with a dog for company and have missed out on the fun things in life.

best of luck buddy, make the break in January and you will pick up another girl easily anough, the good ones will not be after your money but your heart, once you make the effort and try to do the right things they will come to you. Get a car (not bangerish) togheter and lose the farmer apparel and get out there!!

brendansmith

Sorry to hear that OP, its been a pretty lousy ride for you.

Chin up, youll know better next time.

Dob74

dotsman wrote: »

Why are most people here blaming the OP? His girlfriend cheats on him and it's his fault?

Yeah and all those woman who are beaten up by there partners. Its there fault for not showing them enough respect.

If you are going out with someone for 7 years and don't introduce them to your family. You have serious problems not her. Why would she stay around and be treated like sh;t?

[Jackass]

OP the sad thing is 7 years is a long time, you can't hold down a relationship for that long without giving it serious priority and a future.

She went away and probably thought "Holy Sh*T!!! I can go out and do what I want, I'm meeting people who give me all their attention

Meanwhile at home she was used to "Sorry mammy says I have to go home and milk the chickens". It's mental man!!

If you want her back really bad, I would suggest you contact her and spill the beans on this. Tell her how you can't believe how naieve you were and while you always had her first in your mind you realise how you didn't show it. Tell her what she wants to hear and mean it. Tell her you've moved out of home, tell her you're looking for a new job (mammy will find another farm boy - there's people begging for work out there) tell her you want to live together / get married / whatever you want and that the old farm closed off life is behind you and you want her to be a part of it.

Also tell her that while she really hurt you by going off with somebody else, you understand it (you should if you read back your post) and don't particularly blame her, but want to give her the great life she deserves.

She might come back. But then she might have tasted a new life that she doesn't think you can give her, so you need to figure out what that is, put yourself in that place then ask her to join you.

It's tough man and I feel for you. Having just come out of a (not so long compared to you) term relationship, the only way to sum up the next few months is a nightmare - blaming yourself, being lonely, trying to fill a massive void left by the connection you once had that's gone - I like you took somebody for granted and for the first time have learnt a lesson I'll never forget. But if you feel this person is the right one for you, you can turn it around. It if it's right that you move on after everything that has happened then just suck it up and walk the long hard mile. We all have to do it at least once, and as a man half way up the path, I can't wait to get out of it, but I'll be glad when I do.

evil-monkey

all I can say are two things;

1. Ouch. That is f*cking harsh. Dude. Listen to me - forget the b*tch. If she would do that, after 7 years, go shack up with some homewrecker that will without a doubt f*ck her over, then good luck to her. Her loss. She will some day come knocking on the door, I guarantee it - be sure to slam it in her face. It's gona be very hard to get over this man, but you have to. Do not dwell on someone like that.

2. About time you grew a pair and put your mother in her place. Harsh but true.

All the best man.

cowzerp

You should not blaming your ma, you make your own decisions and consciously decided to treat your girl as a bit on the side, more like a mistress than a girlfriend, she finally got some kop on and realised she deserved better than that..Hard lesson learned..

stop been a mammys boy and take the blame and like a man..hard luck. now move on.

Gareth37

Unregistered wrote: »

Is this totally crazy or insane madness??
Is she insecure to jump in so quick??
Has she anything between the ears??
What is She thinking??
Was it me that was wrong??
What should I Do??
Should I forget about her??

Im Lost............................................

Thats very very sad. You build up a relationship with somebody for 7 years and then they decide that you don't deserve their love.

I think society is crazy and she seen greener grass. My guess is that she will never get married or end up regretting this. You must not be too angry and depressed about it since she was tricked a little by another man trying to take advantage. Probably a smooth talker that knew the right things to say to twist her mind away from you and into his hands.

The lack of love and respect for you is terrible. Forgive her but move on and don't lose the run of things. Keep your head together.

It wasn't you that was wrong, it is the way society and life is these days. Relationships are mostly based on excitement, looks, image, materials etc and sure we all know that anything based on these don't last. I genuinely think that you cared in the right way for her but that she was easily led astray.

What you do is be strong anyway. Have no doubts that how you have acted was genuine care for her and the relationship.

You cannot forget about someone you spend 7 years with. She may come back to you again and you may even get married etc and be stronger than ever but you must be strong and view the bigger picture.

I hope you get peace, I know it can't be easy but try to stay mentally strong

Wibbs

Gareth37 wrote: »

Thats very very sad. You build up a relationship with somebody for 7 years and then they decide that you don't deserve their love.

Ehhhhhh what? He didnt build a relationship up for 7 years. If he did she would still be with him. He didn't show his commitment to her in practical ways. I think 7 years shows her patience in a difficult situation.

I think society is crazy

I'm glad for you. Take it to humanities.

and she seen greener grass.

I agree.

My guess is that she will never get married or end up regretting this.

Great crystal ball you have there. I totally disagree. Utter nonsense in fact.

You must not be too angry and depressed about it

True, he should look, really look at his life anew though.

since she was tricked a little by another man trying to take advantage.

Or a man who wanted her for a partner. Maybe even a wife Gasp! :rolleyes:

Probably a smooth talker that knew the right things to say to twist her mind away from you and into his hands.

So smooth talk can trump a solid relationship and love? Not a very high regard you have for love or women for that matter. She left because she was unhappy. Simple as.

The lack of love and respect for you is terrible.

And what about his for her? and for himself?

Forgive her but move on and don't lose the run of things. Keep your head together.

And learn from it..

It wasn't you that was wrong, it is the way society and life is these days. Relationships are mostly based on excitement, looks, image, materials etc and sure we all know that anything based on these don't last. I genuinely think that you cared in the right way for her but that she was easily led astray.

Do you know any women?

What you do is be strong anyway. Have no doubts that how you have acted was genuine care for her and the relationship.

Worst advice ever.

I hope you get peace, I know it can't be easy but try to stay mentally strong

Which he wil only get if he learns from this.