"Surf porn safely"

SamWiseWoahZay

So anyway, I was talking to a friend of mine who informed me that she thinks her husband is looking at Porn on the tinterweb when she is not around.

I am an IT Consultant (have been for 12 years). She wants me to look at her PC to see if I can discover what sites he has been looking at.

Personally, I think ALL guys have a look from time to time. Even when they are in a happy relationship with great sex etc etc.

No it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

No it doesn't mean he wishes you looked like the woman on the vid etc.

BUT. My Question is this.....

I am feeling the credit crunch just like the next person.

So for extra cash in my spare time....Do you think that I should start giving courses on "How to surf Porn Safely"?

Start with the basics like deleting history or using Browzar and that kinda stuff?

There must be a market for married/attached men surely?

Karoma

Will it be a group lesson or 1-to-1?
Are you gay?

SamWiseWoahZay

U know what? I hadn't thought of the implications.

I was thinking a group session. But now that sounds completely wrong as well.

philologos

I don't think you should be helping people to be more deceitful about things. Then again, most people would differ with me

javaboy

Cover your tracks online! What a novel and original idea for a business enterprise. May I suggest flashy banner adverts on porn pages as your primary marketing technique.

I just hope nobody gets in there before you.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Karoma wrote: »

Will it be a group lesson or 1-to-1?
Are you gay?

The above post and others sure make you seem awfully interested in other people's sexuality, Karoma. Are YOU gay?

Karoma

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

U know what? I hadn't thought of the implications.

I was thinking a group session. But now that sounds completely wrong as well.

*concerned nodding*

Will you be available to lend a helping hand? How far will you go to help your students?


Frada: Yes. (Two posts; I must be.)

riff-raff

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

U know what? I hadn't thought of the implications.

I was thinking a group session. But now that sounds completely wrong as well.

wrong but so right! lol:rolleyes:
funny I know ladies who look at porn on the net

Ghost Train

I've heard bad things about browzar
http://web3.0log.org/2006/09/01/new-secure-browser-browzar-is-fake-and-full-of-adware/

what type of IT Consultant are you

Latchy

Looking at to much porn can be a bit like looking at to much of anything .pretty soon it gets boring and repetitive . With that in mind i would gather the hubby in question has learned to use the delete history thingabobby and wify has nothing to worry about .;)

4zn76tysfajdxp

Karoma wrote: »

Frada: Yes. (Two posts; I must be.)

What're you doing later?

themadchef

Is "are you gay?"

The new generation "yore ma"


Seeing it alot lately in AH

RobBrn

Just delete the History

Berty

Hey Girls.

Check out <snip> I just googled this for you. Yeah Right

A serious amount of women allow themselves to be recorded on mobile phones and let it be put on the internet.

Those who didnt give permission are stupid anyway for allowing it to be recorded.

What about hotels that have "dirty" movies in the rooms? They are not just there for men. They are there for women and couples also.

SamWiseWoahZay

eolhc wrote: »

I've heard bad things about browzar
http://web3.0log.org/2006/09/01/new-secure-browser-browzar-is-fake-and-full-of-adware/

what type of IT Consultant are you

I hadn't seen that article about Browzar. I will investigate further before integrating it into the course. Thanks for the heads up (now that sounds wrong too).

Did I say IT Consultant??? I meant to type "Derranged pervert".

Sorry.

javaboy

RobBrn wrote: »

Just delete the History

You have much to learn.

Hey SamWiseWoahZay, you've found your first client.

Karoma

themadchef wrote: »

Is "are you gay?"

The new generation "yore ma"


Seeing it alot lately in AH

I haven't. I read quite a few posts in AH too. Are you questioning your sexual orientation?



SamWiseWoahZay: Because I like you...meh; who am I kidding? I couldn't care if you died of AIDS at my feet, but I should probably edit this post to get back on-topic: Work both ends. Y'know... work as a snoop for the wives, and as a tutor to the husbands. Both will keep it a secret. You get paid twice.

Berty

RobBrn wrote: »

Just delete the History

You must also press CTRL+SHIFT+DEL to clear the text recorded in the google/yahoo box. You could disable to collecting of this information by your browser also through the settings.

Also, periodically delete your temporary internet files because by simply browsing this folder it will show the most recently visited sites.

Your cookies will also store data used on these sites.

After doing the wild thing with yourself delete all these files. Do not delete passwords because this will annoy you having to resave them all again.

Edited: Oops sorry, just gave away your secrets OP

SamWiseWoahZay

javaboy wrote: »

You have much to learn.

Hey SamWiseWoahZay, you've found your first client.

Excellent! Javaboy, please send credit card details to.......

Karoma

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

Excellent! Javaboy, please send credit card details to.......

He meant RobBrn.

SamWiseWoahZay

SamWiseWoahZay: Because I like you...meh; who am I kidding? I couldn't care if you died of AIDS at my feet, but I should probably edit this post to get back on-topic: Work both ends. Y'know... work as a snoop for the wives, and as a tutor to the husbands. Both will keep it a secret. You get paid twice.[/quote]

Thats genius. I knew this was a good idea.

I mean - What could go wrong?

Karoma

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

I mean - What could go wrong?

Beaten by the husband, castrated by the wife. Nothing. Absolutely nothing bad could happen.

samhail

hi everyone. im samhail and i look at porn.

Latchy

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

I mean - What could go wrong?

Have an affair with the husband ?

samhail wrote: »

hi everyone. im samhail and i look at porn.

But your not an alcoholic ( phew)

SamWiseWoahZay

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

meh; who am I kidding? I couldn't care if you died of AIDS at my feet,

That was feckn harsh :D:D

themadchef

Karoma wrote: »

I haven't. I read quite a few posts in AH too. Are you questioning your sexual orientation?

My imagination runs away with itself again...

Oh and i sure as hell hope not

Karoma

OP: What if you find home-made porn that the wife doesn't know about?
How would this make you feel?

4zn76tysfajdxp

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

That was feckn harsh :D:D

Not really, I've heard has has really nice shoes.

javaboy

Karoma wrote: »

OP: What if you find home-made porn that the wife doesn't know about?
How would this make you feel?

Blackmail ftw!

SamWiseWoahZay

Salvatore Gigantic Pensioner wrote: »

Not really, I've heard has has really nice shoes.

Fair enough.

Kold

I hope you pointed out that her getting his computer searched is infinitely worse than him having a hand shandy.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

OP, why is this woman suspicious of her husband? He leaving sticky toilet paper around? Porn is great, everyone should enjoy it.

Get him to get his own PC and put a password on it

But yea you could have a market for it, how would you get an hour out of it though? Also, would be good to add in some extras. Other things people don't know too much about that they don't cover in ECDL or whatever...

Actually is ECDL still important? A potential employer asked me if I had this, I thought it was for people over the age of 40???

SamWiseWoahZay

Karoma wrote: »

OP: What if you find home-made porn that the wife doesn't know about?
How would this make you feel?

Uhhh. What.. like homemade porn the guy has made with previous women? Or Vice versa?

They still need IT Services IMO.

Probably more.

I am only providing a service, I am not responsible for all Porn and all people who look at it.

SamWiseWoahZay

Kold wrote: »

I hope you pointed out that her getting his computer searched is infinitely worse than him having a hand shandy.

Good point! Am I breaking some privacy laws?

Latchy

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

I am only providing a service, I am not responsible for all Porn and all people who look at it.

Perhaps you could reinvent yourself as a PC censorship moderator instead .Might be more money in it

SamWiseWoahZay

Desmond Pitiful Dishcloth wrote: »

But yea you could have a market for it, how would you get an hour out of it though? Also, would be good to add in some extras. Other things people don't know too much about that they don't cover in ECDL or whatever...

Great idea. It could become a standard. EPCDL?

Karoma

Desmond Pitiful Dishcloth wrote: »

Get him to get his own PC and put a password on it

I have often thought "there's a guy who has never had a relationship." and this would be one of those times. She would be offended and even more curious...meh. You'll learn.

SamWiseWoahZay wrote: »

Uhhh. What.. like homemade porn the guy has made with previous women? Or Vice versa?

Or a black midget neighbour with a unique Prince Albert and tattoo and 12" dildo and the excited giggles of the husband ...but, yeah, same thing.

I am only providing a service, I am not responsible for all Porn and all people who look at it.

Okay: work this from all angles. Make & sell the porn. Sell your services to the wife to snoop. Sell your services to the husband to hide it.

SamWiseWoahZay

Karoma wrote: »

Or a black midget neighbour with a unique Prince Albert and tattoo and 12" dildo and the excited giggles of the husband ...but, yeah, same thing.

I just spat my drink all over my laptop. LMFAO.

Karoma wrote: »

Okay: work this from all angles. Make & sell the porn. Sell your services to the wife to snoop. Sell your services to the husband to hide it.

I might start a franchise.

AckwelFoley

Anyone ever see the pic on the web of 'black amputee toilet porn'? As far as i can recall its in a motivational poster
*searches collection*

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Karoma wrote: »

I have often thought "there's a guy who has never had a relationship." and this would be one of those times. She would be offended and even more curious...meh. You'll learn.

Don't be so condisending, regardless of what you think you are wrong. I happen to be in a relationship, believe it or not we actually have our own computers. Then again your probably quite old and of the "backward" type... PFFT!!!

SamWiseWoahZay

snyper wrote: »

Anyone ever see the pic on the web of 'black amputee toilet porn'? As far as i can recall its in a motivational poster
*searches collection*

Motivation for..............?

Karoma

snyper wrote: »

Anyone ever see the pic on the web of 'black amputee toilet porn'? As far as i can recall its in a motivational poster
*searches collection*

I made it.
I'm servicing yore missus, and not offering you my services.

Desmond Pitiful Dishcloth wrote:

Don't be so condisending, regardless of what you think you are wrong. I happen to be in a relationship, believe it or not we actually have our own computers. Then again your probably quite old and of the "backward" type... PFFT!!!

Oh, I believe it... <let's leave it at that.>

reverandkenjami

Wasn't long before the yo're misses got thrown in!!

Capt'n Midnight

two copies of firefox portable with tor on an encrypted usb key ,
the other copy is full of christmas pressies for her

still you'd need to cleanup the temporary folders and swap file/partitions the dns cache and probably reset the router while at it

virtual machine - for quick minimising
bootable usb key in case there is a keylogger

SamWiseWoahZay

reverandkenjami wrote: »

Wasn't long before the yo're misses got thrown in!!

And and and... Your Momma's so fat.......

SamWiseWoahZay

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

two copies of firefox portable with tor on an encrypted usb key ,
the other copy is full of christmas pressies for her

still you'd need to cleanup the temporary folders and swap file/partitions the dns cache and probably reset the router while at it

virtual machine - for quick minimising
bootable usb key in case there is a keylogger

Thats what I am talking about. Virtual Machines and all sorts of IT related trickery!

Surely thats sellable?

(Although I am slightly concerned about your ruthless efficiency Capt'n)

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Karoma wrote: »

Oh, I believe it... <let's leave it at that.>

Cool

Honestly? I don't know any of my friends that shares a PC or laptop with their other half...

Prof.Badass

What run_to_da_hills doesn't know is that keyloggers are easy to beat.

here's how;

1.type in your password but with several (the more the better) extra letters attatched (at the start, between letters, at the end.... everywhere)

2.Using your mouse highlight the extra letters and delete.

Afaia this should defeat them as they won't know how many letters were deleted and they won't know the positions of those letters.

like it?

i came up with it myself, I'm quite proud :cool:.

bertie2

Im wondering why does the bloke not just have two accounts on system startup. One for him and his wife and let the kids(if any) use the guest account. Maybe there are no kids by the sounds of the story.

Or Involve the wife.

SamWiseWoahZay

vinylmesh wrote: »

What run_to_da_hills doesn't know is that keyloggers are easy to beat.

here's how;

1.type in your password but with several (the more the better) extra letters attatched (at the start, between letters, at the end.... everywhere)

2.Using your mouse highlight the extra letters and delete.

Afaia this should defeat them as they won't know how many letters were deleted and they won't know the positions of those letters.

like it?

i came up with it myself, I'm quite proud :cool:.

This is great, I can use all of this!

I still think the idea has potential.

Cuddlesworth

I've met a few IT consultants, one didn't know what a firewall was(I walked away shortly after), another was trying to tell us to buy software that was 6 years old and horribly outdated, the last decided that a budget of 5k per machine was necessary for all the people in our marketing department who didn't need a good machine, and the usual machines for all who did really need something more.


You I see, are keeping up this long standing tradition of Irish IT consultants.