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Faking it

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  • 03-11-2008 4:31pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,405 ✭✭✭


    Hi Ladies,

    I dont know if the subject has been covered before, but I thought Id cast the net around for a few opinions ....just to see. Ive a housemate at the moment doing a "Debbie Does Dallas" on it everynight for the last few months and I've had to ask her to leave the house on account of that and one or two other things. She sounds like the cafe scene in when Harry met Sally and the first night it happenned, my other house mate and I ended up sitting down in our kitchen through pure mortification - drinking Ribena and making small talk (well, gossipping madly about hte noises of her if Im honest! :D)

    Its gotten to the point where we/I cant take anymore - Old housemate moved out and new one is goggle eyed at her antics. But it started me wondering how many of us ladies are winding him (past or present) up that we are actually having a ....fantastic time.....but are actually just preserving his ego and lying there wishing it was over? Or are you now in the best ever relationship sexually and are astounded to find that you had been faking it a bit ...or ....you get the picture.

    In short...

    ...Have you faked it?

    Have you faked it EVER 79 votes

    Yes. But it was easier at the time.
    0% 0 votes
    No. Why bother.He'll never learn that way.
    60% 48 votes
    Atari Virgin
    39% 31 votes


«134

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    I have, plently, and I'm a guy.

    Although I'll stress that that was in the distant past. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    I have, on a very few number of occasions. It was a situation where I was with a new partner and not due to his lack of prowess in bed - the opposite in fact! He'd already got me there by non-penetrative means and it was clear that he was wasn't giving up until I got there again... which rarely, if ever, happens for me. It was just easier to fake than to stop proceedings and explain the intimate workings of my area to him.

    I would never fake if a guy was just bad in bed. That's just inexcusable.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Personally i think the whole finishing it up thing just to preserve his ego is a bit stupid.

    Also, how many women think that every man they had sex with had a great time? All of them? Unlikely.

    Maybe trying being honest and open about sex, see where that gets folks. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,819 ✭✭✭✭g'em


    When I was younger, and didn't know any better/ hadn't the confidence to ask for what I wanted, yes I did.

    It's not something I'm particularly proud of, and I can hand-on-heart say that it's not something I'd ever do now, but I guess I was so worried that my partner would feel like they were under performing or I would seem like a failure in the sack or when the 'movie-style sex' didn't happen from the get-go, I made pretend. My God, bit of a thick eejit, wasn't I :o


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,805 ✭✭✭✭Gary ITR


    Zulu wrote: »
    I have, plently, and I'm a guy.

    Although I'll stress that that was in the distant past. :)

    Me too.
    Was taking meds that gave me well.... Longevity and the girl I was with at the time wouldn't believe me that it was down to the meds and not down to her.


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  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    g'em wrote: »
    When I was younger, and didn't know any better/ hadn't the confidence to ask for what I wanted, yes I did.

    It's not something I'm particularly proud of, and I can hand-on-heart say that it's not something I'd ever do now, but I guess I was so worried that my partner would feel like they were under performing or I would seem like a failure in the sack or when the 'movie-style sex' didn't happen from the get-go, I made pretend. My God, bit of a thick eejit, wasn't I :o

    I think most girls/women were when we were younger...:D

    Honestly I don't see why people would fake it once they've matured and copped onto what sex is really about, its just doing both people involved a disservice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭Da Bounca


    Q: Why do women fake it?


    A: Because they think men care.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,075 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Zulu wrote: »
    I have, plently, and I'm a guy.

    Although I'll stress that that was in the distant past. :)
    Me three.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    It always amuses me when lads say they fake it. I've been sexually active around 6 or 7 years now and Ive never ever faked it! I've had times where I didnt finish but I wouldn't even be arsed faking it! At least girls can easily get away with it.

    I find the good way to tell is in their body movements, and also that "ooooohhoooo" noise that eddie Murphy refers to in his "RAW" show. Thats always a sign she wasnt faking it!

    Out of curiousity to the lads, why did u fake it?! i can understand girls doing it, I really can, but not lads! Especially since an empty condom is a slight giveaway!


  • Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Fakers are only fooling themselves.


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  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,075 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I've faked it as a guy, probably for the same reasons as women do. I was bored or tired or just not getting there. Sometimes it was the woman being not so good technique wise, mostly it was me just not being into it. BTW a condom makes it so easy to fake. They're hardly checking it out afterward.:)

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Wibbs wrote: »
    I've faked it as a guy, probably for the same reasons as women do. I was bored or tired or just not getting there. Sometimes it was the woman being not so good technique wise, mostly it was me just not being into it. BTW a condom makes it so easy to fake. They're hardly checking it out afterward.:)


    I bloody well would be if I thought my fella was faking on me :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    yea, but how whould you know he was faking?


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Wibbs wrote: »
    I've faked it as a guy, probably for the same reasons as women do. I was bored or tired or just not getting there. Sometimes it was the woman being not so good technique wise, mostly it was me just not being into it. BTW a condom makes it so easy to fake. They're hardly checking it out afterward.:)

    LOL. I just stop and say I'm tired!! :pac: Honesty is the best policy! :P


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Zulu wrote: »
    yea, but how whould you know he was faking?

    Just thinkin from a dudes perspective here, Im at my hardest right before i finish, its physically throbbing. Sorry for bein graphic but that's basically why i can;t see a guy faking it working. Im pretty sure when it's like that then the girl can feel that too. Surely a climax in the absense of this would be slightly suspicious no?


  • Registered Users Posts: 831 ✭✭✭DubArk


    shellyboo wrote: »
    I bloody well would be if I thought my fella was faking on me :(

    Well it takes all sorts!! :D

    Givus a look luv! :eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Zulu wrote: »
    yea, but how whould you know he was faking?


    Well, without getting too oversharesies, it wouldn't feel the same - and I would just be able to tell. If he was a regular partner, I'd be able to tell.
    LOL. I just stop and say I'm tired!! :pac: Honesty is the best policy! :P

    Definitely. I'd never hold it against a bloke if he was tired or just couldn't get there. I'd offer to do whatever I could to "help" (ahem) and beyond that just be understanding.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,613 ✭✭✭✭Clare Bear


    I've faked it with all of them bar two (boyfriend of 3 years and current boyfriend), the rest I faked. Not that there were that many lol

    Ah it was just easier at the time and I usually wanted to go to sleep! :)

    I've come to the conclusion that I need to be in love to actually get anywhere.

    A friend of mine has been with her boyfriend for 7 years and recently told me she's faked it every time, that she has never (her words) "y'know" After 7 years with him! They're getting married next year. She said it doesn't matter as much as other aspects of the relationship to her. Fair enough but I don't think he'd be too happy if he found out.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,075 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    LOL. I just stop and say I'm tired!! :pac: Honesty is the best policy! :P
    Maybe. Well yes if it was a regular partner and we were loved up and such. randomer? Not so much. You do not want the "is it me" conversation.
    shellyboo wrote:
    Well, without getting too oversharesies, it wouldn't feel the same - and I would just be able to tell. If he was a regular partner, I'd be able to tell.
    Which is pretty much what every guy who has had a woman fake on him would say. ;):)

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    No, i dont lie


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Which is pretty much what every guy who has had a woman fake on him would say. ;):)


    I'd actually be really offended if a long-term partner wasn't able to tell the difference with me. It's just something you learn.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,075 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Clare Bear wrote: »
    I've come to the conclusion that I need to be in love to actually get anywhere.
    Actually, even as a bloke, I would be similar. OK I can "get there" but it's mechanical more than anything. The real deal? yep need to be in love or have a connection with the person. It can be a compatibility thing too. An ex of mine rarely did with me. The next guy? Fireworks every time apparently. I've been the "next guy" too.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    While we're here then, any good tells that she's faking it girls?!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Personally I would be pretty upset if I found out that a partner had been faking. It's not an ego thing, or anything else, I simply value open communication within a relationship and the person I am sleeping with enjoying the experience is important to me. It is something that you do together, share with each other and explore with each other afterall. If you are of an adult age and unable to talk about sex in your relationship, your likes and dislikes, what really gets you off etc then ( imho ) you need to have a think about things.

    I also think ( and I am sure I will get some heat over this, but hey ) that it would actually be pretty hard to fake…well, with me anyway. There are way too many tells that you simply cannot control that are indicators of the physical act of the body experiencing orgasm.

    In short, if a guy is easily fooled it's probably because he didn't care that much anyway.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    While we're here then, any good tells that she's faking it girls?!

    Excessive, porno-style noisemaking - unless that's what she normally does! The best tell that she's NOT faking is that red, flushed chest and face look.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    Yeah seems pretty dishonest to me. I'd never do it cos I'd only feel bad about it and tell the guy I was with out of guilt, making him feel bad.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 162 ✭✭solace


    Dragan wrote: »
    Personally I would be pretty upset if I found out that a partner had been faking. It's not an ego thing, or anything else, I simply value open communication within a relationship and the person I am sleeping with enjoying the experience is important to me. It is something that you do together, share with each other and explore with each other afterall. If you are of an adult age and unable to talk about sex in your relationship, your likes and dislikes, what really gets you off etc then ( imho ) you need to have a think about things.

    I also think ( and I am sure I will get some heat over this, but hey ) that it would actually be pretty hard to fake…well, with me anyway. There are way too many tells that you simply cannot control that are indicators of the physical act of the body experiencing orgasm.

    In short, if a guy is easily fooled it's probably because he didn't care that much anyway.

    I totally agree. I'm with my girlfriend just over a year now and I reckon it'd be pretty obvious if she was faking. I've never faked it, I've never had to. On the not so frequent occasions where it doesn't happen, I'm honest. More than likely, it's because I'm wrecked or pissed. I don't think I'd be able to keep a straight face anyway! It would feel so contrived (obviously!) and my girlfriend's way too smart... Plus, she knows me. Like Dragan said, it all comes down to openness and honesty in the relationship.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,150 ✭✭✭LivingDeadGirl


    I'm shocked at the number of people who've said yes, sex doesn't have to end in orgasm every time, if it's just not happening then it's just not happening, big deal! Your partner is hardly going to be up all night crying about it(at least I sincerely hope not :P), so why lie?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,405 ✭✭✭NewFrockTuesday


    Woah...hang on...whats this about guys faking it?? No way! Really? :eek:

    So now both sides can fake equally?

    Theres that thin line gone. Roll out the robots. We're doomed.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 765 ✭✭✭Smurfpiss


    Ah i'd never fake it.
    It gets all over the sheets.








    *Wait we're not talking about tans are we....


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