How dirty is dirty...

d-gal

Me and a mate where having a chat about the ladies and sex and how filthy some of them are in the bedroom and also in public.
What would you consider absolutely filthy?

And let me get it out of the way, yore ma

NiSmO

This post has been deleted.

Xavi6

d-gal wrote: »

And let me get it out of the way, yore ma

What a waste! At least give it a bit of context.

"YORE MA's too durty"

Roadend

I suppose scat is really filthy...

120_Minutes

when she says "bukkakes are my favourite thing in the world" thats when you get on one knee and propose.

Dudess

Get on one knee and... propose?

OP, do you mean "weird" dirty (e.g. scat) or "mainstream" dirty (e.g. bukkake)?

Homer

120_Minutes wrote: »

when she says "bukkakes are my favourite thing in the world" thats when you get on one knee and propose aim.

FYP

Creamy Goodness

more like she gets on one knee...


and for the record scat is just wrong, i have a pretty sick mind when it comes to things but the line is finely drawn at scat why the **** would anyone enjoy getting ****ted on?

Dudess

I LOVE your username in this context!

Prof.Badass

Creamy Goodness wrote: »

more like she gets on one knee...


and for the record scat is just wrong, i have a pretty sick mind when it comes to things but the line is finely drawn at scat why the **** would anyone enjoy getting ****ted on?

Ask YORE MA, she loves a good cleveland steamer :pac:!

EDIT- past tense of $hit is shat, not $hitted.

d-gal

Both kinds of dirty.

Experiences as well

Creamy Goodness

vinylmesh wrote: »

Ask YORE MA, she loves a good cleveland steamer :pac:!

EDIT- I think the accepted vernacular is shat.

about three posts too late tbh.

:rolleyes:

Gummy Panda

d-gal wrote: »

Both kinds of dirty.

Experiences as well

Are you gonna get off on this?

d-gal

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Are you gonna get off on this?

with yore ma

Prof.Badass

Creamy Goodness wrote: »

about three posts too late tbh.

:rolleyes:

how so?

there's only one post between my post and the post i was referencing, that's pretty on time if you ask me.

Gummy Panda

d-gal wrote: »

with UR MA

Fail!

Can't even get a simple YORE MA right.

Prof.Badass

d-gal wrote: »

with UR MA

pics or gtfo!

120_Minutes

i knew a girl who liked being a "triple adaptor" hows that? moist yet?


what a weird thread...

Prof.Badass

120_Minutes wrote: »

i knew a girl who liked being a "triple adaptor" hows that? moist yet?


what a weird thread...

kev; bagsy mouth!
calvin; bagsy gee!

keith; aw no fair, i always end up ass. For once i'd just like to do something other than ass, you know some mouth, maybe some gee. I mean you guys never do ass, but you always expect me to do it.

kev; **** off, we bagsied it, you'll just have to bagsy it faster next time (next time keith gets ass, again.)

thelordofcheese

120_Minutes wrote: »

i knew a girl who liked being a "triple adaptor" hows that? moist yet?

a little.....

Honey-ec

Moist is the most disgusting word in the English language and should be banned. I can't even type it without shuddering...

Dragan

Much in the same way as the average penis length on the internet is two inches longer than it is in actual life the majority of people wouldn't know what to do with a truly "dirty" lay if it jumped up and kicked them in the genitals.

Male and female.

thelordofcheese

Dragan wrote: »

Much in the same way as the average penis length on the internet is two inches longer than it is in actual life the majority of people wouldn't know what to do with a truly "dirty" lay if it jumped up and kicked them in the genitals.

Male and female.

Can we assume you've already included yourself in this large amount of people who wouldn't know what to do?

Sofaspud

Honey-ec wrote: »

Moist is the most disgusting word in the English language and should be banned. I can't even type it without shuddering...

MOIST

Anyway, as mentioned, scat and "watersports" and anything else involving stuff that's meant to go into a toilet.

Anything else = fair game!

Dragan

thelordofcheese wrote: »

Can we assume you've already included yourself in this large amount of people who wouldn't know what to do?

Why the hell would i do that? I know i'm a good ****ing lay.

And freaky too.

I am assuming that you instantly assumed that you were in that group? You should have more confidence in your freaky lay abilities and happily sit there and think "well, i know what to do with a freaky chick".

No?:pac:

Dudess

Sofaspud wrote: »

MOIST

Anyway, as mentioned, scat and "watersports" and anything else involving stuff that's meant to go into a toilet.

Anything else = fair game!

How about vomit?

Heh, that "MOIST" is the same colour as a vagina... /snigger

shenanigans1982

Honey-ec wrote: »

Moist is the most disgusting word in the English language and should be banned. I can't even type it without shuddering...

My OH used to think that too, now its been replaced by "egg sack" which is two words but she finds it a lot worse.

As for where to draw the line with filthy stuff.....crimson shower ftw.

Prof.Badass

Sofaspud wrote: »

MOIST

Anyway, as mentioned, scat and "watersports" and anything else involving stuff that's meant to go into a toilet.

Anything else = fair game!

eww... underarm licking..... that's rank.

Dudess

shenanigans1982 wrote: »

crimson shower ftw.

One of the curses of being female is: the time you're absolutely gagging for it, I mean REALLY gagging for it, in the mood for FILTH... the damn painters and decorators are in. :mad:

shenanigans1982

Dudess wrote: »

One of the curses of being female is: the time you're absolutely gagging for it, I mean REALLY gagging for it, in the mood for FILTH... the damn painters and decorators are in. :mad:

That aint just a female curse.

thelordofcheese

Dragan wrote: »

Why the hell would i do that? I know i'm a good ****ing lay.

And freaky too.

I am assuming that you instantly assumed that you were in that group? You should have more confidence in your freaky lay abilities and happily sit there and think "well, i know what to do with a freaky chick".

No?:pac:

Law of the world: Everybody lies.
Law of the internet: Everybody lies really badly.

Therefore i have to assume you're more of a lights-out-once-a-month-missionary-position-for-the-purposes-of-procreation kinda guy.

But you talk a good talk, i'll give you that.

pickarooney

Dudess wrote: »

One of the curses of being female is: the time you're absolutely gagging for it, I mean REALLY gagging for it, in the mood for FILTH... the damn painters and decorators are in. :mad:

What's the problem there?

And what on earth is with this idea that 'moist' is an objectionable word? I've heard/seen it mentioned in this context before, but it's lost on me.

Is 'hoist' and icky word? or 'joist'?

Dragan

thelordofcheese wrote: »

Law of the world: Everybody lies.
Law of the internet: Everybody lies really badly.

Therefore i have to assume you're more of a lights-out-once-a-month-missionary-position-for-the-purposes-of-procreation kinda guy.

But you talk a good talk, i'll give you that.

LoL, i really seem to have touched a nerve there!!!

Trojan

Moist von Lipwig.

Now I truly feel dirty - I've posted on AH.

120_Minutes

Dragan wrote: »

Much in the same way as the average penis length on the internet is two inches longer than it is in actual life the majority of people wouldn't know what to do with a truly "dirty" lay if it jumped up and kicked them in the genitals.

Male and female.

I knew exactly what to do with YORE MA so your logic is flawed.

Prof.Badass

120_Minutes wrote: »

I knew exactly what to do with YORE MA so your logic is flawed.

he said the majority of people, not everyone.

She wanted some kinky sex with me but i panicked, set her up with some ugly nerd and ran. i guess he was taling about people like me.

brianthebard

Dudess wrote: »

One of the curses of being female is: the time you're absolutely gagging for it, I mean REALLY gagging for it, in the mood for FILTH... the damn painters and decorators are in. :mad:

If you are really in the mood for some dirty sex at that time surely its the perfect time to go anal?

Also,moist. Yum.

Dragan

120_Minutes wrote: »

I knew exactly what to do with YORE MA so your logic is flawed.

Really? Consumer reports from me pimping her out indicate she in fact, a pretty boring lay.

If she is what you call freaky then i can only assume you are missing an education in Freakonomics!:pac:

Note : The Ma thing only works on people who are not willing to insult their own mother in worse fashion that you are.

thelordofcheese

Dragan wrote: »

LoL, i really seem to have touched a nerve there!!!

But it was not a good touch....

Trojan wrote: »

Moist von Lipwig.

Adora bell dearheart.

(You should feel bad for reading pratchett, i know i do)

Homer

brianthebard wrote: »

If you are really in the mood for some dirty sex at that time surely its the perfect time to go anal?

Also,moist. Yum.

90% tighter.. 10% warmer. Get yourself down to brown town!

120_Minutes

Dragan wrote: »

If she is what you call freaky then i can only assume you are missing an education in Freakonomics!:pac:

I have a degree in freakonomics i'll have you know.

I've done stuff others only see in the finest dutch porn. (not russian porn though, that stuff is well creepy)

robtri

Dudess wrote: »

One of the curses of being female is: the time you're absolutely gagging for it, I mean REALLY gagging for it, in the mood for FILTH... the damn painters and decorators are in. :mad:

what wrong with the painter and decorators being in..... any hole is a goal.....:D
so many other parts of the beautiful female form to play and amuse yourself with for many hours... and me personally, that doesn't bother me in the slightest, most ladies are a lot more aroused during that time.... which usually means dirty diirty dirty fun......

Picks up whip and handcuffs and heads for the door

Cookie_Monster

Dudess wrote: »

One of the curses of being female is: the time you're absolutely gagging for it, I mean REALLY gagging for it, in the mood for FILTH... the damn painters and decorators are in. :mad:

back door???...

LouOB

Sheets cleaned once a month
House hoovered once a week
All bathrooms bleached once a week
Kitchen counter top wiped down once a day - at least

oooooohhhh you meant sex...
errmmmmm......
once it doesnt leave a stain

truecrippler

vinylmesh wrote: »

kev; bagsy mouth!
calvin; bagsy gee!

keith; aw no fair, i always end up ass. For once i'd just like to do something other than ass, you know some mouth, maybe some gee. I mean you guys never do ass, but you always expect me to do it.

kev; **** off, we bagsied it, you'll just have to bagsy it faster next time (next time keith gets ass, again.)

Just out of interest, are you this 'Keith'?

Dudess

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

back door???...

My ass is a one-way street... most of the time.

Prof.Badass

truecrippler wrote: »

Just out of interest, are you this 'Keith'?

no, i'm strictly anti-buggery.

if someone else wants to smear poo on their glans and get bits of $hit stuck under their foreskin, then i don't care, provided it doesn't involve me in any way.

Creamy Goodness

I heard all Internet girls love to have an Alabama hot pocket after getting a Dutch oven.

Nanook32

What the hell is Alabama hot pocket!??

Kinetic^

Dudess wrote: »

My ass is a one-way street... most of the time.

Yeah I hate when the doctor puts his finger up there too I said I had a sore throat ffs!

Sofaspud

Dudess wrote: »

How about vomit?

I include vomit in "stuff that's meant to go down the toilet"

vinylmesh wrote: »

eww... underarm licking..... that's rank.

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it :pac: