Meeting the parents.

Jeebus

Howdy,

I am meeting my girlfriends parents soon. She is perfect. I mean in every way - she got all A's in the Leaving, all A's in the Junior never drank until lately, basically been a perfect girl in her perfect Catholic family's house...

...And then, in saunters myself. Long hair. Ripped clothes. Far from perfect atheist who doesn't have a clue what he wants to do with the rest of his life.

What can I do to impress them ? I hate to be soppy, but I really do love this girl, so it would be nice to make a good impression. I had dinner over there before, and nothing went too badly, like, to be honest I was incredibly nervous so I said nothing and stumbled over my words a lot.

Any advice ?

tl;dr - How do I impress the girlfriends parents ?

PS. She's meeting mine this weekend and all, but all she'll have to do is walk in and everyone will love her. Not bloody fair. Any advice to make that go as smooth as possible as well though ? Just in case, like.

Thanks !

Karoma

For a start, convert, you bloody heathen swine.

zero19

This should really be in PI but anyway, bottomline be yourself, **** it if they don't like u who cares it's their problem not yours or the GF's

ottostreet

don't worry about it. relax. you say you love her...you cant be with her long if your only meeting the parents now. view the parents as humans, dont be rude, dont be condescending. play it safe you know yourself!

Karoma

zero19 wrote: »

This should really be in PI but anyway, bottomline be yourself, **** it if they don't like u who cares it's their problem not yours or the GF's

Oo
Don't assume the OP's an idiot until he's proven he's an idiot. Shame on you. Let's assume he knows what he's doing by posting here; stop posting sensible drivel.

Dave!

Remember not to hog all the weed for yourself. Share. People like generosity.

Be sure to put her father's mind at ease by telling him that you use ultra-safe condoms.

Wear a clown costume. Nobody likes a person who takes themselves too seriously.

Compliment her mother. Women like when you tell them they have nice breasts.

brianthebard

I'm confused, you are meeting the parents but you've been over for dinner before? did you pretend to be someone else the last time? My thoughts would be to get a haircut and some nice clothes, superficial perhaps but if they have made a judgement call before you even shake her da's hand you haven't a hope. Stay away from any possibly touchy subjects, compliment the house, cooking, etc, maybe bring flowers...how far do you want to go? Lick arse like you can't get enough of the brown stuff basically.

Ruu_Old

Lob that packet of ciggies onto the roof, father won't see them there.

zero19

Actually reminds me of meeting an ex's parents before, her mam was a right looker wearing next to nothing when i met her...Couldn't help but look and was caught a few times lol

Dudess

Well you describe yourself as a bit scruffy - obviously that's something over which you have control, i.e. clean yourself up before going over there. Be pleasant and polite and come up with some career plan. Done.

Smyth

Yeah, just be yourself.
Doesn't always work out mind.
I went out with this girl once and her father was a fat ill mannered oaf who liked to get pissed and act the wank.

I do not. Especially around people I'm not familiar with.

I refused to play any drinking games (with parents ffs...) or sit in the corner with him and his truckin buddies all night talking a load of ****e. I found the women a hell of a lot more entertaining.

We didn't get on.

I did bang his daughter after dinner though.
Win.

Jeebus

The last time I met them it was sprung on my completely by surprise. I was essentially dressed up as Kurt ****ing Cobain at the time, all of my clothes were ripped, I was red-eyed from a session the same night and....ugh...it didn't go too badly I suppose as I was not talking much due to nervousness and hangover, but...my first impression probably wasn't up to much.

So I am trying to forget about it, and counting this time as the first time, in the vain hope that I can swing things in my favour this time !

porn_star

brianthebard wrote: »

My thoughts would be to get a haircut and some nice clothes,

ah now, it's not her parents he's trying to date, presumably if he has long hair he likes having long hair, so why should he have to cut it to meet the parents.
Be polite, if they don't like you screw it, as long as your girlfriend is happy then that's all that really matters in the long run.

Karoma

You've already met them before and made a crap impression. You're ****ed.

Jeebus

Dudess wrote: »

Well you describe yourself as a bit scruffy - obviously that's something over which you have control, i.e. clean yourself up before going over there. Be pleasant and polite and come up with some career plan. Done.

I shouldn't dress up though, should I ? I mean...jeans and a t shirt is OK ?

I am thinking shirt/tie would be overkill ?

Maybe just comb the aul hair and wash the face ?

Thanks a lot !

brianthebard

Well then you definitely need to smarten up or they'll think you are a bum.

ronnie3585

Being good Catholics her parents will be delighted to hear that their daughter 'does onto others as she would like done to herself' i.e. oral sex.

krpc

Meet The Parents - great movie.

Jeebus

Karoma wrote: »

You've already met them before and made a crap impression. You're ****ed.

Not crap. I looked a bit scruffy and was quiet. That was all. I am natrually quiet and scruffy though, and they didn't ask me anything serious, so its ok...I reckon.

brianthebard

porn_star wrote: »

ah now, it's not her parents he's trying to date, presumably if he has long hair he likes having long hair, so why should he have to cut it to meet the parents.
Be polite, if they don't like you screw it, as long as your girlfriend is happy then that's all that really matters in the long run.

I've long hair too (kinda, got it cut last week) but if I was trying to make a good impression with the parents of a girl I liked I'd get it cut and styled a bit, to make it respectable at any rate. Just because he's not trying to sleep with the parents doesn't mean they won't make his life hell if they don't approve of their daughter going out with him.

gogo

If your gf is decent, chances are, so are they, they raised her you know. Just be yourself, polite, friendly, I'm sure they find it all very cute, what with you stumbling over your words and whatnot. Don't be overly touchy with your gf obvioulsy, don't whisper, be dirty/smelly and arrive in time.
Compliement her mother on the house/food.
You'll be grand.
/gogo thinks back fondly on the meeting the parents stage.:D

krpc

Jeebus wrote: »

I shouldn't dress up though, should I ? I mean...jeans and a t shirt is OK ?

I am thinking shirt/tie would be overkill ?

Maybe just comb the aul hair and wash the face ?

Thanks a lot !

As a rule of thumb, general good hygiene is usually a must for any occasion

Karoma

Jeebus wrote: »

Not crap. I looked a bit scruffy and was quiet. That was all. I am natrually quiet and scruffy though, and they didn't ask me anything serious, so its ok...I reckon.

*shrug*
If I were a parent, I'd assume you were just using my daughter as a cover to hide your homosexuality. Get a haircut, hippeh. ¬_¬

Wazdakka

Bring a potted plant..


Then talk to it,
ignoring everybody else.

krpc

Jeebus wrote: »

Not crap. I looked a bit scruffy and was quiet. That was all. I am natrually quiet and scruffy though, and they didn't ask me anything serious, so its ok...I reckon.

Nothing serious ... like your name?

Maybe they thought their daughter was doing a good deed and bringing home a beggar for dinner? :pac:

Jeebus

i-bloodhound wrote: »

As a rule of thumb, general good hygiene is usually a must for any occasion

News to me !

Karoma wrote: »

*shrug*
If I were a parent, I'd assume you were just using my daughter as a cover to hide your homosexuality. Get a haircut, hippeh. ¬_¬

Ah, its not that long like, t'isn't shoulder length or anything so it'll be grand.

gogo wrote: »

If your gf is decent, chances are, so are they, they raised her you know. Just be yourself, polite, friendly, I'm sure they find it all very cute, what with you stumbling over your words and whatnot. Don't be overly touchy with your gf obvioulsy, don't whisper, be dirty/smelly and arrive in time.
Compliement her mother on the house/food.
You'll be grand.
/gogo thinks back fondly on the meeting the parents stage.:D

Good points. OK...catholic parents, catholic traditional Irish parents...*thinks*....."I love the house *smile*" and "the food is divine, thanks!!" and "need a hand with the washing" ? I don't want to lick their arses too much, like...

brianthebard wrote: »

I've long hair too (kinda, got it cut last week) but if I was trying to make a good impression with the parents of a girl I liked I'd get it cut and styled a bit, to make it respectable at any rate. Just because he's not trying to sleep with the parents doesn't mean they won't make his life hell if they don't approve of their daughter going out with him.

Fair point. They have been making it hell, tbh. But I will persist. I'll style the hair to make it look shorter before I go. I just hope I have notice this time !

Thanks a lot all

Thoie

If you don't have a beard - shave properly. If you have a beard - trim it nicely and make sure it looks clean. Wash your hair, get a trim to neaten the ends if it's straggly. Shake father's hand firmly, but don't try break his fingers. If you're not driving, accept a drink if it's offered, don't get drunk. Wear underwear (in case there's an inspection). Read the paper/watch the news beforehand so that if they bring up something current you're not left staring blankly. When asked the inevitable "what do you do?", have an answer ready that isn't "y'know, not much, a bit of this, a bit of that - let's hope the dole office don't find out".

Avoid dirty jokes at the dinner table unless you can reenact them with items of food. Don't sprawl, but try not to look like there's a poker up your ass. If there's a poker up your ass, try not to let them know that it's there.

Offer to help clear the table. Try not to smack mother's ass while doing so. If you're in a restaurant don't offer to clear the table. Avoid politics and religion. Try not to be hungover. Don't smoke in the house unless you're handed an ashtray. If you have to smoke outside, try not to set fire to the cat.

Jeebus

i-bloodhound wrote: »

Nothing serious ... like your name?

Maybe they thought their daughter was doing a good deed and bringing home a beggar for dinner? :pac:

Ah you know, they didn't whip out the "So what do you want to do with your life?" "Whats are your ambitions?" type questions that everyone has to bull****e through.

****. Maybe she was.

JIZZLORD

http://xkcd.com/275/

Heckler

Relax. Be yourself. Went out with a girl years ago, Father a doctor, mummy living on the fact he was. Me ? Dreadlocks, ****e to **** clothes (but clean) and they hated me. She loved it (the fact that they hated me). We were both young.......

He, the doctor, is still an asshole. She has two kids and i'm well shot of them all.

There may be a lesson in there if you look hard enough......Then again maybe not....

gogo

Jeebus wrote: »

I don't want to lick their arses too much, like...

you do, you really do, if my mother in law asked me to stand in my head in the corner, I will ask 'for how long':(, unknown damage can be caused by not getting on with the in laws.

Wurly

Jeebus wrote: »

The last time I met them it was sprung on my completely by surprise. I was essentially dressed up as Kurt ****ing Cobain at the time, all of my clothes were ripped, I was red-eyed from a session the same night and....ugh...it didn't go too badly I suppose as I was not talking much due to nervousness and hangover, but...my first impression probably wasn't up to much.

So I am trying to forget about it, and counting this time as the first time, in the vain hope that I can swing things in my favour this time !

Leave the ripped clothes at home... Invest in a bottle of optrex and some breath mints. Problem solved.

Zaph

Dave! wrote: »

Wear a clown costume. Nobody likes a person who takes themselves too seriously.

Dear god no, do NOT wear a clown costume. A lot of people have a phobia about clowns and it would be just your luck that her mother is one of them. The last thing you want to do is cause the poor woman to end up on tranquilisers. Now a monkey costume, on the other hand, everyone loves monkeys...

andrew

Bring up topics such as abortion, pre marital sex and child abuse.Take a liberal stance. Catholics love talking about that sorta thing.

Darragh29

Dave! wrote: »

Remember not to hog all the weed for yourself. Share. People like generosity.

Be sure to put her father's mind at ease by telling him that you use ultra-safe condoms.

Wear a clown costume. Nobody likes a person who takes themselves too seriously.

Compliment her mother. Women like when you tell them they have nice breasts.

Also bring a few lines of Coke to share with her auld boy off the kitchen table, that'll get the male bonding started off!

:D:D

Darragh29

Take a few tips from Mike Strutter!!!

Ross_Mahon

Listen up focker...do not tell them your atheist, find out what the old mans interests are, act and speak like a gentleman, Should be clear sailing then.

AlanAhern

Your best bet is to relieve yourself before you go there and store the contents on your ear in a "something about mary" style. Then Conversation will be dirested toward that instead of other awkward questions!

Jigsaw

Forget the ****e you are listening to. Cut your hair and look like a proper man. None of this aul scene sh1te. Make yourself desireable. Don't wear a suit, just cut your hair, have a shave and wear a nice smart open necked shirt with a pair of trousers and shoes then use some personality. Concentrate on the dad - try to bond with him to an extent. Howevert if you insist upon looking like some failed indie musician you will balls it up. As you get older you come to realise you can like all sorts of music but you don't have to dress like a twat to appreciate it.

People who wear skinny jeans should be machine gunned into the sea.

Duiske

Thoie wrote: »

If you don't have a beard - shave properly. If you have a beard - trim it nicely and make sure it looks clean. Wash your hair, get a trim to neaten the ends if it's straggly. Shake father's hand firmly, but don't try break his fingers. If you're not driving, accept a drink if it's offered, don't get drunk. Wear underwear (in case there's an inspection). Read the paper/watch the news beforehand so that if they bring up something current you're not left staring blankly. When asked the inevitable "what do you do?", have an answer ready that isn't "y'know, not much, a bit of this, a bit of that - let's hope the dole office don't find out".

Avoid dirty jokes at the dinner table unless you can reenact them with items of food. Don't sprawl, but try not to look like there's a poker up your ass. If there's a poker up your ass, try not to let them know that it's there.

Offer to help clear the table. Try not to smack mother's ass while doing so. If you're in a restaurant don't offer to clear the table. Avoid politics and religion. Try not to be hungover. Don't smoke in the house unless you're handed an ashtray. If you have to smoke outside, try not to set fire to the cat.

Awful pity I did not read this about 8 years ago. You could even add a couple of things. Do not tell their other daughter that she will be pretty when she lose's the puppy fat and never, under any circumstances, talk about abortion. Ever !!

SnowMonkey

Jigsaw wrote: »

People who wear skinny jeans should be machine gunned into the sea.

i would like to agree on this point. But its ok if youve got a pair of dunks :P and a mullet....

actully there was a dude in work with a mullet one day his bird was fit, but it looked like he spent more time in the mirrior then she did .....

Agent Smith

Say your a cop working undercover to stop puppy molesters





everyone likes puppys, Right?

javaboy

i-bloodhound wrote: »

Meet The Parents - great movie.

Everyone's entitled to an opinion. Just not that particular opinion.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Sleep with your girlfriend's mother, any sexual tension between you will evaporate and you'll finally have something in common with her father.

SEPT 23 1989

drink gallons of cider and ruby port

thelordofcheese

Jeebus wrote: »

tl;dr - How do I impress the girlfriends parents ?

Why, are you planning on screwing them too?

Varkov

Leave a dead thrush on the doorstep. If questioned, explain it's a gift for the family.

Wagon

Jigsaw wrote: »

Forget the ****e you are listening to. Cut your hair and look like a proper man. None of this aul scene sh1te. Make yourself desireable.

What is he trying to shag the parents now as well?

Don't wear a suit, just cut your hair, have a shave and wear a nice smart open necked shirt with a pair of trousers and shoes then use some personality.

Excellent, now they'll think he's gay.

Concentrate on the dad - try to bond with him to an extent.

Refer to point above.

Howevert if you insist upon looking like some failed indie musician you will balls it up. As you get older you come to realise you can like all sorts of music but you don't have to dress like a twat to appreciate it.

Maybe he just likes wearing baggy jeans and hoodies...?
Just a thought.

People who wear skinny jeans should be machine gunned into the sea.

Bravo. Bet the parents will love that.

OP, you can have a car, good income, direction in life and a career but still be a tosser. You seem alright, just be yourself. Have a shave and don't be hungover cos i've made that mistake in the past too. Just be polite.

Silenceisbliss

remember to check out her mums tits...cop a good feel when shes not looking... remember, ur GF might end up the same .....

Funnily enough my new GF met the family there last night for the first time. Went well but I ended up getting pissed and I am a sad panda today

Fratton Fred

Thoie wrote: »

If you don't have a beard - shave properly. If you have to smoke outside, try not to set fire to the cat.

If you have a beard, shave it off. If my daughter brought home a bearded hippie she would be grounded for the next thirty years. Oh, don't smoke unless they do and only when they do. Full stop

Silenceisbliss wrote: »

remember to check out her mums tits...cop a good feel when shes not looking... remember, ur GF might end up the same .....

Good point, your girlfriend may end up like her mother, so if the old dear is 35 stone cut and run.

Find out what team the old man likes, then brush up on them. everyone likes talking about their team whther its football, rugby or GAA. Bring the mother some flowers as well, its rude to turn up empty handed.