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Sluts/slappers/whores/homewreckers

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    #62
    kizzyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,410 ✭✭✭kizzyr


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    I don't think we have historically had that double standard in Ireland.
    I think we have imported it via pop-culture.

    And yet all those times young girls were raped by uncles, cousins etc and were found to be pregnant they were seen as the wrong doer, they were sent off the lovely Laundries to live out their lives in hell while the men got away scott free.
    The double standard for women and men knows no cultural boundry and is to be found the world ove. It is wrong and the more women blame other women for affairs etc (as happened with Victoria Beckham and the "alleged" Loos affair) the longer this standard will be perpetutated.
    Cheating is cheating and it is wrong no matter your gender.


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    #63
    JP Liz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,588 ✭✭✭JP Liz


    Both Getty and Miller are in the wrong.

    If you want i can start a thread calling Baltazar Getty called a douchebag, asshole etc

    Sienna Miller is a homewrecker


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    #64
    FX Meister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,217 ✭✭✭FX Meister


    panda100 wrote: »
    Sienna has been branded a homewrecker,slut,whore and every other awful name under the sun,while the man who dumped his wife and kids becomes the stud who gets of scott free.

    It's quite simple, why can't you see it? She's a celebrity, he's a nobody. If the editor has a choice of putting either him or her on the cover and demonising them which do you think will sell more copies?


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    #65
    r3nu4l
    Registered Users Posts: 17,399 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    panda100 wrote: »
    I ask, why oh why is it always the (innocent) women that always gets the blame for marriage breakdowns/splits etc.
    Innocent? Really? No, she's not. Let's get that correct now. That guys is an absolute bastard for what he did to his wife and family but she is EQUALLY to blame. Is she a slut and homewrecker? Yes she is. He's a homewrecker too though. He is also a manslut.
    panda100 wrote: »
    So when a man sleeps around a lot what is the term for it?
    A slut?
    A Slapper?
    A Whore?
    These to me seem words more synonmous with females, But perhaps thats just me.
    And the term homewrecker I think most certainly is associated with women. Why isnt Balthazar Getty the one being brandished a 'homewrceker'? Is he not really the one responsible for wrecking his home?
    No, he's one of two people that wrecked that home.
    I suppose the closest you get to the word slut for men is 'love cheat' which I'll admit does have a softer ring to it. I've seen the media use that term a lot but it doesn't have the viciousness that it should have, equally, man-slut and man-whore are usually used as comedic terms.

    I honestly believe that we should have names equally as vicious for men and women who are unfaithful to their partners. If a man or woman can't be big enough to end one relationship before entering into another then they are weak and deserve every name they can get.

    BTW, I have never cheated or been cheated on but unfaithfulness is a horrible thing for anyone to have to endure so I do feel strongly about it.

    Let's be clear though, Miss Slutenna Miller is not innocent ;)


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    #66
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    FX Meister wrote: »
    It's quite simple, why can't you see it? She's a celebrity, he's a nobody. If the editor has a choice of putting either him or her on the cover and demonising them which do you think will sell more copies?
    I'd agree with you if it wasn't for the fact that when David Beckham got his rocks off with Rebecca Loos, she was the whore of Babylon, he didn't get a fraction of the abuse. And yet she was a nobody, he was one of the most famous people in the world. Even Balthazar Getty is a lot more high profile than Rebecca Loos was before she was revealed to be Beckham's other woman.


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    #67
    The Recliner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    WindSock wrote: »
    It's funny how this is, yet Men seem to get a lot more jealous if they see anothera Man chatting up his bird, rather than the other way around.

    It is funny, I would have always had the opposite experience to that

    I have never been jealous of a girlfriend being chatted up, I would trust her completely so find it fun

    However most girlfriends have turned into psychopaths in the reverse situation. Maybe I have been going out with the wrong girls but whilst I am unintentionally a bit of a flirt they have never had reason not to trust me

    One used to say that she trusted me completely it was other women she couldn't trust. She never understood why I found this insulting, like I couldn't resist it being offered to me on a plate :rolleyes:


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    #68
    r3nu4l
    Registered Users Posts: 17,399 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    The Comfortable Chair wrote: »
    It is funny, I would have always had the opposite experience to that

    I have never been jealous of a girlfriend being chatted up, I would trust her completely so find it fun

    However most girlfriends have turned into psychopaths in the reverse situation.
    That's been pretty much my experience as well. My wife has been chatted up a good few times by guys but it never bothers me. Unless she signals to me that she needs help extricating herself from a guy I leave her to chat away (or be chatted up). I wasn't always like that however, when I was in my early 20's I was a slightly possessive and insecure twat :)


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    #69
    Ginny
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    Dudess wrote: »
    I'd agree with you if it wasn't for the fact that when David Beckham got his rocks off with Rebecca Loos, she was the whore of Babylon, he didn't get a fraction of the abuse. And yet she was a nobody, he was one of the most famous people in the world. Even Balthazar Getty is a lot more high profile than Rebecca Loos was before she was revealed to be Beckham's other woman.

    Well Loos did go to the tabloid papers about it, and built a so called career on the affair.
    Thats why I'd call her scum.


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    #70
    kizzyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,410 ✭✭✭kizzyr


    GinnyJo wrote: »
    Well Loos did go to the tabloid papers about it, and built a so called career on the affair.
    Thats why I'd call her scum.

    I think very little of anyone who does a "kiss and tell". Clearly they are doing it for the money and 15 seconds of fame and nothing else no matter what they say.
    However, while Loos told her story and got her "career" (fondling a pig must be so rewarding a career path), it was both women involved i.e. Loos and Victoria Beckham who came in for most of the flak. VB was criticised for trying to pursue her career and so stayed in the UK and Loos was branded a scarlet woman. David Beckham, the one who was married, the one who took vows to his wife, the one who promised to foresake all others, the one who had children and an entire family at risk from his desire to get his leg over, got away with everything.


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    #71
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    GinnyJo wrote: »
    Well Loos did go to the tabloid papers about it, and built a so called career on the affair.
    Thats why I'd call her scum.
    Nobody's disputing that. When was that level of vitriol directed at Beckham though?


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    #72
    kizzyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,410 ✭✭✭kizzyr


    Dudess wrote: »
    Nobody's disputing that. When was that level of vitriol directed at Beckham though?[/QUOTE]

    Never, because oddly enough even though he sounds like a 12 year old boy whose voice has yet to break and acts like a dog in heat, people seem to think he is best thing ever and above criticism. They also seem to be of the opinion that his wife (and I am by no means a fan of either Beckham) should have never considered her own career and desires in the way but simply been happy to be Mrs David Beckham and followed him wherever he went. Given that she was so so selfish and tried to do something she wanted, what else could she expect but a little dalliance, after all David is a man (reportedly) and men have their needs..........


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    #73
    KrazeeEyezKilla
    Registered Users Posts: 420 ✭✭KrazeeEyezKilla


    kizzyr wrote: »
    what else could she expect but a little dalliance, after all David is a man (reportedly) and men have their needs..........

    Yeah reportedly :D


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    #74
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    That Sienna Miller bird is a total fox, though.

    It's only right and proper that yer man gets a bit of kudos for nailing her. If it was me, I'd expect some serious backslapping from me mates and the media :D


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    #75
    Rayven199
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭Rayven199


    Shes no more innocent than OJ was. She knew the man was married and still engaged in a relationship with him. While yes she is single she should still have the common decency to NOT begin a relationship with a married man.

    She of all people should know how it feels to be cheated on what with the whole Jude law thing.


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    #76
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    kizzyr wrote: »
    If a single woman sleeps with a man she knows is married or in a relationship with someone else she is wrong.
    If a man who is married or in a relationship sleeps with a single woman he is wrong.
    If a single man sleeps with a woman he knows is married or in a relationship with someone else he is wrong.
    If a woman who is married or in a relationship sleeps with a single man she is wrong.
    If two people who are in a committed relationship/ marriage sleep with someone else then they are wrong.

    What about people who are both married(ie individual marriages) who have an affair together??? That is also quite bizarre!!!...and wrong of course.....


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    #77
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Rayven199 wrote: »
    Shes no more innocent than OJ was. She knew the man was married and still engaged in a relationship with him. While yes she is single she should still have the common decency to NOT begin a relationship with a married man
    Who's to say he didn't initiate it though?


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    #78
    Rayven199
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭Rayven199


    Dudess wrote: »
    Who's to say he didn't initiate it though?


    Maybe he did, she still should have the common decency to say no if she knew he was married! And even if she didnt, she would have found out and then should have walked away!


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    #79
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    tallaght01 wrote: »
    That Sienna Miller bird is a total fox, though.

    It's only right and proper that yer man gets a bit of kudos for nailing her. If it was me, I'd expect some serious backslapping from me mates and the media :D

    Yeah, I'm sure your wife and kids would be dead pleased their daddy threw away a marriage for a fox!

    You're quite the catch.


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    #80
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    It looks like Panda's point is being reinforced at various points on this thread. The focus is still moreso on Sienna Miller than the married father-of-four who cheated on his wife. It takes two to tango and all that...


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    #81
    Rayven199
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭Rayven199


    Dudess wrote: »
    It looks like Panda's point is being reinforced at various points on this thread. The focus is still moreso on Sienna Miller than the married father-of-four who cheated on his wife. It takes two to tango and all that...


    True, and its unfair to put the blame soley on her. The point I was making is that she is wrong, she is not 'innocent' as panda says the women are, none of them are, they are to blame also.

    The man in this case, in my opinion is the worst, scumbag, but she is almost as bad, she just didnt cheat whan she did what she did.


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    #82
    The Sweeper
    Registered Users Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    Carla Bruni, wife of French president Nicolas Sarkozy, was recently interviewed about her own personal dalliances with married men. The interviewer asked her how she felt about being branded an adultress.

    Bruni's response was "How can I be an adultress? I wasn't married." She went on to say that what is going on in anybody else's relationship is their business, not hers, and it's not up to her to worry about other people's relationships.


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    #83
    Victor McDade
    Registered Users Posts: 710 ✭✭✭Victor McDade


    If a woman approaches 10 men in a bar and offers casual sex, she'll probably get at least 7 acceptances. If a man does the same to 10 women, he'll probably get 7 slaps in the face.Thats why women get called sluts, and men players, it's much easier for a woman. Is it right? No. Will a thread in a forum change it? Eh....


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    #84
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    kizzyr wrote: »
    And yet all those times young girls were raped by uncles, cousins etc and were found to be pregnant they were seen as the wrong doer, they were sent off the lovely Laundries to live out their lives in hell while the men got away scott free.
    The double standard for women and men knows no cultural boundry and is to be found the world ove. It is wrong and the more women blame other women for affairs etc (as happened with Victoria Beckham and the "alleged" Loos affair) the longer this standard will be perpetutated.
    Cheating is cheating and it is wrong no matter your gender.

    Rape is a lot different than a woman choosing to sleep with and seducing whomever she likes. I see your point though about the witch-hunting.

    But we have to ask ourselves why do women persecute other women when it comes to sex. Is it because we know how easy it is to get it without barely even trying?

    We have only one empowerment over men. That is our sex. If we abuse this power then should we be scorned?


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    #85
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,074 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Minesajackdaniels wrote: »
    Bruni's response was "How can I be an adultress? I wasn't married." She went on to say that what is going on in anybody else's relationship is their business, not hers, and it's not up to her to worry about other people's relationships.
    Yea but that's basically a moral cop out(with a goodly portion of self centeredness thrown in), typical of the "me me" generation.

    I know, as I've used the excuse in the past when I found out a woman I was interested in had a boyfriend. "If he couldn't keep her from straying well then that's not my problem" etc. Now a relationship can be over bar the shouting and a new relationship may be on the cards(rebound ahoy), but a lot of the time it could be going through a rough patch and one partner could be open to temptation. Stupid? Maybe. Understandable? Pretty much. Both men and women can be daft around temptation. In my experience women are just as easily tempted as men*. Usually being more attentive and emotionally understanding than the partner is more of a draw than shaking the arse in front of them(the horror:)). With guys the latter is more in play.

    While we are ultimately responsible for ourselves, IMHO we also have a responsibility to others and society at large. That oul excuse is akin to stealing a car just because you found out the owner left the keys in it. After all it was their fault they left it open for you. Now someone else may decide to nick it, but it doesn't have to be me.I look on this in a similar way to stealing. There would be a lot less thieves if there were no receivers of stolen goods.

    So a man or woman that knowingly tries it on with someone already attached is nearly as bad as the one attempting to play away and shares a hell of a lot of the responsibility.


    * IMHO much fewer married women play away than married men, but women before they're married or "settle down" are much more open to other offers. It's an age thing too I reckon. A bloke in his 40's is way more likely to have a bit on the side than a woman of 40. In general of course.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #86
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,074 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    WindSock wrote: »
    But we have to ask ourselves why do women persecute other women when it comes to sex. Is it because we know how easy it is to get it without barely even trying?
    Partly. I would say it's also because women know other women can be very competitive and less loyal (for want of a better word) when it comes to men. Women also know men can be bloody daft, can miss the undercurrent of what's going on with women and can be easily tempted by a shiny novelty. Most of us would know or have heard of a situation where a man was tempted by a new woman, then leaves the existing partner only for the new woman to drop him when she made her point.

    I do think that female solidarity is a tenuous thing in this particular arena and women are particularly competitive sexually. Women can and do have great solidarity with other women, in work, as fellow mothers, as support systems in times of emotional stress, etc but when men and sexual attraction are involved it can go right out the window. Even simple things like the "best mate" who disappears off the map when she get a bloke, only to return to the social fold if and when it goes south. Younger men can do that to, but I've seen that happen regularly enough with older women too. Every woman I know has had another woman that they know well try to actively steal a boyfriend. Now every guy has had some random bloke try to chat up his girlfriend in a club, but it's much rarer in my experience to have a mate do it. Much rarer.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #87
    Seraphina
    Registered Users Posts: 2,875 ✭✭✭Seraphina


    ok... 6 pages of insults discussion disagreements, and claims that Sienna Miller is in no way innocent

    Wild suggestion here, how the **** do any of us know that Sienna wasn't lied to by this married man, and told he was single?

    I'm flabbergasted that its not even crossed anyone's mind that the girl might be innocent. SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING, SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS GETTING INTO, SHE'S A HOMEWRECKER..

    maybe she DIDN'T know?!
    we all know that people are very capable of lying. who HASN'T been lied to by someone they slept with at some stage or another?!?


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    #88
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,074 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    In the case of what you describe clearly all bets are off and the person duped is obviously and literally innocent of wrongdoing. I've seen that happen with men and women I know. It's happened to me where I found out after the fact that a woman was already involved. At which point they were told to go away in no uncertain terms. If someone decides to continue on at that point, that's when I would have an issue.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #89
    kizzyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,410 ✭✭✭kizzyr


    Seraphina wrote: »
    ok... 6 pages of insults discussion disagreements, and claims that Sienna Miller is in no way innocent

    Wild suggestion here, how the **** do any of us know that Sienna wasn't lied to by this married man, and told he was single?

    I'm flabbergasted that its not even crossed anyone's mind that the girl might be innocent. SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING, SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS GETTING INTO, SHE'S A HOMEWRECKER..

    maybe she DIDN'T know?!
    we all know that people are very capable of lying. who HASN'T been lied to by someone they slept with at some stage or another?!?

    I knew he was married. I think lots and lots of people knew he was married and exactly who he was married to. Maybe Sienna got the "my wife doesn't understand me, our marriage is all but over, I'm sleeping in the spare room" line and believed (wanted to) it.
    From my understanding of this thread most of the replies were generic rather than Sienna specific. I, and I wasn't the only one, see both parties involved in the affair as being wrong.


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    #90
    Seraphina
    Registered Users Posts: 2,875 ✭✭✭Seraphina


    yeah i dunno why i said sienna, i know most of the replies were generic and so was mine really.

    point stands though, most of the women here are demonising the woman more so than the man, tis a shame really. women can be SUCH bitches to eachother, i just don't get it


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    #91
    kizzyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,410 ✭✭✭kizzyr


    Seraphina wrote: »
    yeah i dunno why i said sienna, i know most of the replies were generic and so was mine really.

    point stands though, most of the women here are demonising the woman more so than the man, tis a shame really. women can be SUCH bitches to eachother, i just don't get it

    Me neither.:( Just think of the power we'd have if we could/would stick together. No more being paid less for doing the same job, no more being judged entirely on how we look, no more speculation of "that time of the month" should we be in a bad mood, no more pitying glances if we happen to choose to not get married.........and on and on it goes.


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