Girl in the library....

LegacyUser

I've noticed this girl in my college library, and I really really fancy her. I'd love to ask her out, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this may sound silly, but I'm in my early 20s and I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not very experienced in this type of thing.

Obviously, I can't talk in the library, so would it be a good idea to hand her a note asking her out, or would this look weird?


Any advice appreciated.

Al_Fernz

Lonely guy wrote: »

I've noticed this girl in my college library, and I really really fancy her. I'd love to ask her out, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this may sound silly, but I'm in my early 20s and I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not very experienced in this type of thing.

Obviously, I can't talk in the library, so would it be a good idea to hand her a note asking her out, or would this look weird?


Any advice appreciated.

Has she given any sort of indication that she might like you OP? Like smile, good eye contact etc.? If so I would say go for it - no guts no glory....

blue4ever

Lonely guy wrote: »

Obviously, I can't talk in the library.

A rule breaker then, Jimmy Dean.....

papazen

don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

if it's a college library, i don't think that talking to her is out of the question - it wouldn't be in my college library. personally, i would take a banana into the library, and peel it meticulously, drawing attention to myself. i would then chomp on the banana like a monkey. when finished i would storm over to the nearest bin and dumb the empty banana skin. stalk straght up to the girl and say that i'm bored off my ass studying and ask would she like to go for a coffee with me on her next study break.

definitely don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

Silverfish

She has to leave the library sometime.

When she does, you walk up and you say 'Hi, I'm X, would you like to go for a coffee?'


Life is really, really too short not to. This is one of those 'kick yourself in two years time' things.

blue4ever

papazen wrote: »

don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

if it's a college library, i don't think that talking to her is out of the question - it wouldn't be in my college library. personally, i would take a banana into the library, and peel it meticulously, drawing attention to myself. i would then chomp on the banana like a monkey. when finished i would storm over to the nearest bin and dumb the empty banana skin. stalk straght up to the girl and say that i'm bored off my ass studying and ask would she like to go for a coffee with me on her next study break.

definitely don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

I with the above - BIG STYLE. If you had a cape of some description whilst peeling that would work, or a servant to peel the banana is good, or perhaps just linger around the ‘Ancient History’ section oiled up in a pair of Y’s – that would be good too. But no Note – that tooooo embarrassing

Silverfish

blue4ever, please read the charter with regards to off topic / unhelpful posts.


Thanks.

blue4ever

Silverfish wrote: »

blue4ever, please read the charter with regards to off topic / unhelpful posts.


Thanks.

does that apply to all the above posts, esp the one i took my lead from, or is this a silple random act of kindness?

suckslikeafox

I wouldnt approach her out of the blue, try and catch her eye or smile at her anytime shes looking around or walking near you. If you can do that once or twice and then approach her it might work better

geminilady

Yeah try and establish some eyecontact and then smile, she will get use to seeing you around and hopefully feel the same way about you.

Like Silverfish said, life is well too short, if there is a coffee place anyway in your canteen r teas to take away you could try and get talking when you's r ordering tea/coffee.

Maybe just trying and get a convo starting "busy in here isnt it, etc" so what ya studying etc etc, will ya be going to the su/watever etc later"

Just try and make sure ya try establish eye contact first, and try not be too nervous, she might have spotted you too.

Good luck keep us posted!

Carsinian Thau

Just walk up to her just as she leaves the library and ask her out.
Easier said than done I know.
Alternatively, take a peek at a book she's reading and strike up a conversation about that outside the library. Be sure you're interested in the subject though if you go down that route.

papazen

i wouldn't bother with small talk - this will fall flat in seconds and you will be left holding your tool. if you are approaching her in a library just be direct and ask her to go for a coffee straight out. dont tell her your name and then ask her, just walk straight up and ask her off the bat. introducing yourself looks a bit desperate imo.

my banana idea was not OT, this is genuinely what i would do. seriously, bring a banana onto the dancefloor of a night club, or eat an apple in the smoking area - it's a good conversation piece.

elle

Next time you're in the library why don't you just take a seat next to or near her. I generally end up talking to the person beside/opp me at some stage. You could borrow a pen/offer chewing gum, something simple like asking her how the study is going, then maybe see if u can strike up a conversation from there, even if it means suggesting u share a study break over a coffee.

Phototoxin

yeah ask straight out

also

know this may sound silly, but I'm in my early 20s and I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not very experienced in this type of thing.

its not silly. You're a non-conformist. :-)

blue4ever

papazen wrote: »

i wouldn't bother with small talk - this will fall flat in seconds and you will be left holding your tool. if you are approaching her in a library just be direct and ask her to go for a coffee straight out. dont tell her your name and then ask her, just walk straight up and ask her off the bat. introducing yourself looks a bit desperate imo.

my banana idea was not OT, this is genuinely what i would do. seriously, bring a banana onto the dancefloor of a night club, or eat an apple in the smoking area - it's a good conversation piece.

and i get the public dressing down by the Morality Stazi......

Notatoxford

Silverfish wrote: »

She has to leave the library sometime.

When she does, you walk up and you say 'Hi, I'm X, would you like to go for a coffee?'

What if the op's name isn't X?What if his name is Joesph Fritzel or something like that?

Nevyn

blue4ever one week ban for off topic posting, unhelpful posting, commenting on a mod action in the thread.

Overheal

never had a girlfriend is just code for fresh goods - it makes you less likely to carry genital herpes than your competitors

try getting her into a conversation why dont you? "Hmm, I see you're reading up on Inverse Quadratic Interpolation. Thats cool.." Just find your inner comic, it helps. That there is a Garth line.



And he scored a hottie even if she did turn out to be a psycho that wanted him to kill her husband... thats not important.

Notatoxford

Lonely guy wrote: »

I've noticed this girl in my college library, and I really really fancy her. I'd love to ask her out, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this may sound silly, but I'm in my early 20s and I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not very experienced in this type of thing.

Obviously, I can't talk in the library, so would it be a good idea to hand her a note asking her out, or would this look weird?


Any advice appreciated.

Just ask her does she want to have unprotected sex with you.When she says no just say thats fine I'll get a condom.

Nevyn

Notatoxford banned.

papazen

i've actually just thought of something a little less hair-brained.

bring a female friend along to study with you in the library and sit close to/across from desired girl - it will prove that you have friends that are girls so you are an interesting, sociable guy. then engage desired girl in harmless conversation "what band is playing freshers' week this year?" "i went to see band 'x' last year" "i heard a rumor that it might be band 'y' this year". then ask would she like to join you and your friend for a study break. three people will have alot more to talk about than two, and it will relieve any social awkwardness. it also won't look like you are blatantly hitting on her.

if you are shy, this could be a good idea. what do you think of suggestions/comments so far OP?

RealistSpy

Hey Lonely,

The truth is you just have to be brave and take it one step at a time. All you have to do is ask her name. Then the next day ask how she is doing. Just one step at a time and If she don't take a fancy at least you 2 could be friends.

Good Luck mate I know you will do well we are all human beings right?

LegacyUser

papazen wrote: »

don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

if it's a college library, i don't think that talking to her is out of the question - it wouldn't be in my college library. personally, i would take a banana into the library, and peel it meticulously, drawing attention to myself. i would then chomp on the banana like a monkey. when finished i would storm over to the nearest bin and dumb the empty banana skin. stalk straght up to the girl and say that i'm bored off my ass studying and ask would she like to go for a coffee with me on her next study break.

definitely don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

I should have mentioned that it's kind of an adult college, and there is definitely no talking inside the library. I know in most college libraries, talking is fine and the staff wouldn't be bothered about it. But the place Im studying in at the moment is totally different- the library is fairly small and is usually packed, and the students just don't talk there. Even if a person was whispering, one of the librarians would be down in a second to break up the conversation and hand out fines.

Yes, there has been some eye contact, but this may be because she thinks I'm a creepy stalker, LOL.

And, she does go for coffee/smoke breaks, and I thought of following her out of the library on one of her breaks, but I seriously think that that this would make me look like a stalker.




Thanks for all the suggestions so far.

Hrududu

I would advise against walking up and asking her out straight away. Like others I recommend making eye contact or striking up a conversation. Then just go from there.

LegacyUser

Any more suggestions?

I'm especially interested to hear what girls here would think of the note idea.....

Silverfish

Personally, I'd find the note idea not a great one.

I'd feel that it put the onus on me to go talk to him, when he couldn't be bothered speaking to me and threw a note at me? Unless you're 16, its a very childish schoolyard way of doing things.

That said, if you really don't think you can speak to the girl, I suppose its not the worst idea, but really, talking to her first is more appropriate than a note.

pookie82

Lonely Guy wrote: »

I should have mentioned that it's kind of an adult college, and there is definitely no talking inside the library. I know in most college libraries, talking is fine and the staff wouldn't be bothered about it. But the place Im studying in at the moment is totally different- the library is fairly small and is usually packed, and the students just don't talk there. Even if a person was whispering, one of the librarians would be down in a second to break up the conversation and hand out fines.

Yes, there has been some eye contact, but this may be because she thinks I'm a creepy stalker, LOL.

And, she does go for coffee/smoke breaks, and I thought of following her out of the library on one of her breaks, but I seriously think that that this would make me look like a stalker.




Thanks for all the suggestions so far.

Before I saw this I was gonna suggest that if she happened to be a smoker, follow her out (well, watch for her breaks and subtly follow a half a minute later). You don't have to have a smoke yourself, just wander over, stretch a bit, make a comment about being stressed/bored/studied out etc. This will give you a good chance to see if she's receptive to you without actually having to ask her out and mortify yourself. Just take it from there. Lots of non-smokers step out of the library for fresh air mid study session - you needn't look like a stalker.

I used to have this situation with a guy in the library in college too. it dragged out for months until one day he just came up to me and struck up a conversation about the long hours we were keeping in there and what i was reading. I was delighted! Within minutes we were chatting away. it just takes a second of guts.

Good luck.

JonathanAnon

takes me back to my college days. I was terribly shy as well and hadnt had a girlfriend. But this is not a bad thing in some ways and is nothing to be embarrassed. Just imagine if you had a kid with someone you "loved" in your teens and had to fund the kid and your college fees. Happened to one of the guys in there.

Regarding the girl, you would be better off making it seem like a chance encounter. Even something as simple (and stupid) as "finding" a book and asking her if she left it behind. Something that doesnt seem so contrived as coming up to her and just putting her on the spot by asking her out - Even if you were Brad Pitt she is unlikely to go for this, and it will end up being very embarrassing for both of you.

And display confidence when you speak to her, even if you are terrified. Speak confidently and clearly, without smiling excessively. Act casual, dont mumble your words or stare at her excessively. Good luck

JonathanAnon

oh yeah, and DO NOT go with the note idea.... you are not robbing a bank. She will think you are a complete freak...

LegacyUser

Thanks- it seems that nobody is in favour of the note.


So, I think I might follow her out on one of her breaks. I was reluctant to go this route initially because I thought it might make me look like a stalker. You don't think this would look creepy or stalkerish?



Also, I'm quite shy with girls so I'm not sure what I should say to break the ice. As I mentioned before I'm very inexperienced with girls.

What exactly should I say when I approace this girl?





Thanks for all the responses.

JonathanAnon

well with mature students and all that, I thought all colleges were "Adult". Look if goes out for a break every day, you at least have the opportunity where you can get her on her own to talk to whenever you want. This is a real positive thing, an opportunity. Would be much worse if you NEVER had the opportunity to get her on her own.

If she goes out for a break every day and you just happen to be outside once when she is, it is a coincidence. Even if it is your contrived coincidence. If she went for a break every day and you followed her out every day that would be stalking. She is a human being, she is not a god. Just talk to her as if you were talking to your sister, or female friend/cousin etc etc.

Wilba

Do you have any female friends? If so, it would help if you pre-train yourself prior to speaking with her. Also, you previously mentioned she has seen you around the library before so when you two speak, something like "I think I've seen you before" should pop up somewhere in the conversation.

What you could do is take notice of the times she normally steps out for a smoke, then the next day you pop outside a couple of minutes before and then hopefully she'll soon step outside. If in the first few minutes she doesn't say a word then it will be your turn to do so. Trust me you'll find a way to extend the conversation.

Good luck with it.

Overheal

pookie82 wrote: »

it just takes a second of guts.

Good luck.

if you take nothing else from this thread: take that.

Fat Pie Lot

Overheal wrote: »

if you take nothing else from this thread: take that.

+1

I recently asked out a girl under what I thought were reasonably unusual circumstances. With the backing of a few female friends who were offering encouragement, I plucked up the courage to call her.

Luckily, she said 'yes' and when we went out on our date, I was praised for making the call under those circumstances. It was seen as a ballsy move and, at least to this girl, ballsy moves are very much appreciated.

It's worth approaching her now (or at least very soon) because you really don't want to be sitting there in six month's time wondering "what if?"

musicinyou

dude,

you know there are some levels of talking, camly tell her, youve never done this before but iv noticed you from a mile away everytime i come in here, and i know this isnt a normal question but would you like to go for a coffy, if yes the awesome if no then dont feel bad, cause you never no untill you do... and if its a no nothings gonna change you'l still have your life and add flattery to this girls persona and your own,

all the georgie best

Amtmann

Lonely Guy wrote: »

Thanks- it seems that nobody is in favour of the note.


So, I think I might follow her out on one of her breaks. I was reluctant to go this route initially because I thought it might make me look like a stalker. You don't think this would look creepy or stalkerish?



Also, I'm quite shy with girls so I'm not sure what I should say to break the ice. As I mentioned before I'm very inexperienced with girls.

What exactly should I say when I approace this girl?





Thanks for all the responses.

I am somewhat in favour of the note. I'll tell you why.

It's something that would never have entered my mind before. But one day at college a really attractive female friend of mine said she was at the computer lab the evening before when a guy just came up to her, tapped her on the shoulder and handed her a brief note vsaying he'd noticed her, liked her, and wanted to know if she'd have a coffee with him. He included his first name and number and that was it. She was flattered and the only reason she didn't text him is because she's engaged to someone else.

Now about a week later I happened to be doing a weekend shift in a hospital on a busy ward. There was a really pretty nurse that I'd spoken to for about two minutes on the Saturday. I decided I'd aske her out on the Sunday, but I didn't get a chance to speak to her. So what did I do? I threw caution to the wind a wrote a bloody note! In it I said "Hi, this is X. I just wanted to say that I think you're really nice and I like you, so I was wondering would you let me take you out for a pizza and a drink some evening? My number is 085

---

)

I got a text about 3 hours later, and had a lovely date with her that included kisses.

Now in the first case where my friend received the note, it was in a computer lab (somewhat like a library) and she'd never spoken to the guy before. Didn't bother her. In the second case, although I had spoken to the nurse, it was only for two minutes, but I got a good vibe.

Common to both cases was the fact that it was difficult to speak for various reasons.

I should also point out that I tried a note once more (with a checkout girl) and it didn't work! So I've had 50% success with notes...

RedXIV

As above, I wouldn't chuck the note idea away straight away.

There are plenty of ways to get across things in a note that people may be over looking. You can put something comical on the note, convey a sense of humour. If i was going to use a note, thats what i'd do. try to turn it into something she'll laugh at. especially if you drop the note over nonchalantly and if she giggles, be loud enough in the library with "Are you ok?!!? do you need a drink!?!? lets get you some fresh air?!"

nothing like embarrassment to gel two people together

mrDuke

RedXIV wrote: »

As above, I wouldn't chuck the note idea away straight away.

There are plenty of ways to get across things in a note that people may be over looking. You can put something comical on the note, convey a sense of humour. If i was going to use a note, thats what i'd do. try to turn it into something she'll laugh at. especially if you drop the note over nonchalantly and if she giggles, be loud enough in the library with "Are you ok?!!? do you need a drink!?!? lets get you some fresh air?!"

nothing like embarrassment to gel two people together

RedIX i was very against the note, i did it once when i was 14 and it worked, but i was 14.

However the way you put it yes i can see it very well working.

I will point out that im now 23 and friends with the girl i handed the note to, everytime we meet and we are out and she introduces someone to me she runs through the note story, i go bright red everytime, lol. its torture

Good luck, you only live once.

_feedback_

OP, I think the below advice is the best on the thread .. You haven't mentioned if you are a smoker or not. If not, just go out for 'some fresh air' as the below poster said.

Just relax and tried not to be too rehearsed!!

Best of luck

pookie82 wrote: »

Before I saw this I was gonna suggest that if she happened to be a smoker, follow her out (well, watch for her breaks and subtly follow a half a minute later). You don't have to have a smoke yourself, just wander over, stretch a bit, make a comment about being stressed/bored/studied out etc. This will give you a good chance to see if she's receptive to you without actually having to ask her out and mortify yourself. Just take it from there. Lots of non-smokers step out of the library for fresh air mid study session - you needn't look like a stalker.

I used to have this situation with a guy in the library in college too. it dragged out for months until one day he just came up to me and struck up a conversation about the long hours we were keeping in there and what i was reading. I was delighted! Within minutes we were chatting away. it just takes a second of guts.

Good luck.

GrumPy

papazen wrote: »

don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

if it's a college library, i don't think that talking to her is out of the question - it wouldn't be in my college library. personally, i would take a banana into the library, and peel it meticulously, drawing attention to myself. i would then chomp on the banana like a monkey. when finished i would storm over to the nearest bin and dumb the empty banana skin. stalk straght up to the girl and say that i'm bored off my ass studying and ask would she like to go for a coffee with me on her next study break.

definitely don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

lol.

OP, This is odd enough advice it might even work!!

chickenhawk

Lonely Guy wrote: »

Also, I'm quite shy with girls so I'm not sure what I should say to break the ice. As I mentioned before I'm very inexperienced with girls.

What exactly should I say when I approach this girl?

I come across as quite confident usually but anytime I ask a girl out I blush really badly. So I always start off with 'Hi, I know I'm probably blushing like mad now but.....'

It relaxes me and takes my mind off the fact my face is all red so I'm confident enough to continue with what I'm doing. I know she will notice so why not just make a joke out of it.

Good luck!

LegacyUser

Hi, it's me again.

I know it's been a few days since I last posted, but I haven't made any moves yet. Still not exactly sure what to do.....


I read the other thread where a guy asked a girl out and she laughed at him- no it wasn't me, but reading that thread has me worried.


And, no I do not smoke.



I think that Red has a very good suggestion to make the note comical.

LegacyUser

Ah man, I'd advise you to do some research on the girl before you make a move(mutual friends, bebo possibly?) just in case she has a bf/husband or is up her own arse...
Seriously like, how can you like someone you know absolutely nothing about!

LegacyUser

ffs, all that she can say is no. ASK HER ON MONDAY. Forget about the note.

Sephiroth_dude

Why not just make eye contact with her and wink or smile at her ,that way she'll at least know your interested in her.keep us posted anyway buddy.

Placebo

everything you do will be weird.
find her at the su bar+local pub.

phantom_lord

RedXIV wrote: »

There are plenty of ways to get across things in a note that people may be over looking. You can put something comical on the note, convey a sense of humour. If i was going to use a note, thats what i'd do. try to turn it into something she'll laugh at. especially if you drop the note over nonchalantly and if she giggles, be loud enough in the library with "Are you ok?!!? do you need a drink!?!? lets get you some fresh air?!"

nazi love perhaps?

pookie82

Lonely Guy wrote: »

Hi, it's me again.

I know it's been a few days since I last posted, but I haven't made any moves yet. Still not exactly sure what to do.....


I read the other thread where a guy asked a girl out and she laughed at him- no it wasn't me, but reading that thread has me worried.


And, no I do not smoke.



I think that Red has a very good suggestion to make the note comical.

By waiting so long you're building up far too much anticipation and are undoubtedly making yourself even more nervous than you should be. the longer you think on how to act the bigger a deal it becomes.

Honestly. Approach her on Monday during one of her smoke breaks. Make a comment, ask a question, do anything to get her attention. People have started randomly talking to me when I'm out for a smoke all the time. That's just what people often do when taking a break in close proximity having studied in the same building for months. They didn't all fancy me adn I didn't suspect that they did either, just because they said hello. So get it out of your head that you'll come across as a raging stalker.

Once you've spoken you'll most likely have a fair reaction in about three minutes. You should know fairly quickly how responsive she'll be to you. Believe me, you're building this up for weeks, but it'll be over and decided in a flash once you just go over there and open your mouth.

Next time you post make sure it's to tell us the results as opposed to more wondering and delaying!

curiosity

Aww, threads like this make me go mushy:).

OP, you have to go for it. From the sounds of it, you're a bit shy in all this, so approaching her in some way will do you good. If you don't, you'll just regret it and face the same dilemma next time you come across someone you like.

As to the "how", that's the tricky bit. Fact is you could walk over to her, say hi, and ask her for a coffee, and she'd say yes. She might have already decided she likes you, the guy who keeps looking over at her!! Or...........you could come up with the best plan there is, and she could turn you down. I will say getting to know her a bit increases your chances, be less of a random stranger to her. Whatever you do, do it with dignity and composure.

LegacyUser

Hi,

It's me again- sorry for dragging up the old thread, but I thought I'd let ye know how it turned out. I've been trying to avoid her till the end of the course, I was studying in a different library in the meantime. I dunno maybe I wanted to avoid the situation for as long as possible, or maybe I just wrote it off as a stupid crush, like some of you said- how can I like a stranger...........

no_account wrote: »

Ah man, I'd advise you to do some research on the girl before you make a move(mutual friends, bebo possibly?) just in case she has a bf/husband or is up her own arse...
Seriously like, how can you like someone you know absolutely nothing about!

I've been thinking about what you said, and tbh I think some people just have to take a chance- otherwise the human race wouldn't last very long.

Well, first and foremost, I really really fancy her. I guess that's a matter of taste though, because with some of my friends they might fancy a girl that I wouldn't, and vice versa. She seems like a nice girl (well from what I've observed anyway lol), and she doesn't seem to have a boyfriend. And yeah, of course, there's plenty of good-looking women, it's just the fact that I've had my eye on this prticular girl for so long, and there's been eye contact, etc.

Also, I think that she might fancy me. There was one instance (which wasn't contrived)where I opened the door leaving the library, and she was on the other side walking in. I was taken a bit by surprise, but I held the door open for her (and probably was a bit red in the process). And, she smiled at me (and kinda giggled) and very clearly said thank you as she walked through. Does anyone else think that this may be a clear sign that she might fancy me (especially interested to hear girl's opinions)?

(I know that this would have been the perfect opportunity to ask her, but I just kinda froze as I was taken by surprise.)



.................



Anyway, I decided that I would eventually walk up to her and just ask her for coffee when she was at the smoking area on her own. However, I left it until the last day of the course, which was a big mistake. The course ended last week, and bear in mind that I had been avoiding the library in the meantime. So, I walk in on the last day, she's sitting there and my heart melts yet again. I sit down a few spaces away from her. I know I made a huge mistake of leaving it till the last day because it didn't give me much opportunity to talk to her. So, I'm sitting there ages, and she finally gets up to go for a smoke break. I follow her out at a distance and she's walking pretty fast, but I don't think she knows that I'm following her. When I eventually get to the smoking area, she's there talking to another guy, with no-one else around, so I just walk straight by cause it would be too embarrassing to ask her out with a guy watching. I'm pretty sure he's not her boyfriend as I've never seen him talking to her before. So that's it- I missed my opportunity and I'll probably never even see her again as the course is now finished. I suppose the big mistake I made was leaving it till the last day, as there was always a chance that something would go wrong.....



But, now I'm wondering whether I should try to trace her. Don't worry, it sounds a lot more creepy/stalkerish than it is. All I'm looking for is say hi, and ask her out for coffee- nothing weird or anything like that. So do you think I should try and track her down, or just forget about her?


(Apologies for the long post)

LegacyUser

Dude... sorry to hear about that.

You need to forget about this girl.

The next thing you need to do is ask out TEN other girls.

The reason you were anxious about this was because the process of asking girls is not something you're used to. That's totally understandable. The way you get rid of that is by trying it loads of different times.

You can work your way out of this gradually. Start off by learning how to open conversations with girls you've never met before. Even just say "hi" to them when you're walking past them, waiting in line at a queue, sitting near them, etc. Open conversations with guys, too. Open conversations with so many people that you're totally comfortable with it. When this becomes natural, you won't feel weird about asking girls for their phone number, and your confidence will also make them more likely to give it to you.

Having a crush on a girl you never get to talk to is one of the worst experiences for a shy guy. You absolutely need to demystify these hot girls. If you got talking to her, it's more likely than not that you'd find out that her personality wasn't even compatible with yours, so you wouldn't want to go out with her anyway.

I know you understand this, but let me repeat it for you: beautiful girls ARE VERY COMMON. Even if you weren't in college, you could walk down any high street in a city and spot MANY GIRLS that you would go out with for their looks. But this is a trap - you are only going to deal with this problem by talking to many of them and finding one you like physically and personally (and her personality is actually MORE IMPORTANT than her looks).

It's a difficult process but only by learning how to approach and ask out are you going to have a decent shot at success. I have a huge amount of sympathy for you because I'm in a very similar position myself. I forced myself to start approaching girls I fancied, and it's resulted in a plentiful supply of numbers and dates. Having options also means that you are less desperate when it comes to any particular girl and can think about her more objectively. Your self-confidence shines through when you are dating in this situation.

In conclusion: forget about this one girl. Go ask some other girl out as soon as possible. And then keep asking them out. Don't feel bad about collecting as many numbers as you can fit in your phone. Dating, after all, is a numbers game (clever pun intended). Girls would prefer to be chosen by a guy who had options than by a guy who had none. So you are doing your future girlfriend a huge favour by dating multiple girls at the same time.

That prospect probably seems a million miles away, but it's not. You can start today. You can have a couple of dates set up by next week. The only limits here are the ones you yourself create. Example being: somebody who was truly confident in approaching people would have approached your crush even while she was talking to her guy friend. He would have found out if they were going out in the course of a natural conversation, and asked for her number right then and there if she was single.

Forget about her now, move on and fix this.