Girl in the library....

LegacyUser

I've noticed this girl in my college library, and I really really fancy her. I'd love to ask her out, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this may sound silly, but I'm in my early 20s and I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not very experienced in this type of thing.

Obviously, I can't talk in the library, so would it be a good idea to hand her a note asking her out, or would this look weird?


Any advice appreciated.

Al_Fernz

Lonely guy wrote: »

I've noticed this girl in my college library, and I really really fancy her. I'd love to ask her out, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this may sound silly, but I'm in my early 20s and I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not very experienced in this type of thing.

Obviously, I can't talk in the library, so would it be a good idea to hand her a note asking her out, or would this look weird?


Any advice appreciated.

Has she given any sort of indication that she might like you OP? Like smile, good eye contact etc.? If so I would say go for it - no guts no glory....

blue4ever

Lonely guy wrote: »

Obviously, I can't talk in the library.

A rule breaker then, Jimmy Dean.....

papazen

don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

if it's a college library, i don't think that talking to her is out of the question - it wouldn't be in my college library. personally, i would take a banana into the library, and peel it meticulously, drawing attention to myself. i would then chomp on the banana like a monkey. when finished i would storm over to the nearest bin and dumb the empty banana skin. stalk straght up to the girl and say that i'm bored off my ass studying and ask would she like to go for a coffee with me on her next study break.

definitely don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

Silverfish

She has to leave the library sometime.

When she does, you walk up and you say 'Hi, I'm X, would you like to go for a coffee?'


Life is really, really too short not to. This is one of those 'kick yourself in two years time' things.

blue4ever

papazen wrote: »

don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

if it's a college library, i don't think that talking to her is out of the question - it wouldn't be in my college library. personally, i would take a banana into the library, and peel it meticulously, drawing attention to myself. i would then chomp on the banana like a monkey. when finished i would storm over to the nearest bin and dumb the empty banana skin. stalk straght up to the girl and say that i'm bored off my ass studying and ask would she like to go for a coffee with me on her next study break.

definitely don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

I with the above - BIG STYLE. If you had a cape of some description whilst peeling that would work, or a servant to peel the banana is good, or perhaps just linger around the ‘Ancient History’ section oiled up in a pair of Y’s – that would be good too. But no Note – that tooooo embarrassing

Silverfish

blue4ever, please read the charter with regards to off topic / unhelpful posts.


Thanks.

blue4ever

Silverfish wrote: »

blue4ever, please read the charter with regards to off topic / unhelpful posts.


Thanks.

does that apply to all the above posts, esp the one i took my lead from, or is this a silple random act of kindness?

suckslikeafox

I wouldnt approach her out of the blue, try and catch her eye or smile at her anytime shes looking around or walking near you. If you can do that once or twice and then approach her it might work better

geminilady

Yeah try and establish some eyecontact and then smile, she will get use to seeing you around and hopefully feel the same way about you.

Like Silverfish said, life is well too short, if there is a coffee place anyway in your canteen r teas to take away you could try and get talking when you's r ordering tea/coffee.

Maybe just trying and get a convo starting "busy in here isnt it, etc" so what ya studying etc etc, will ya be going to the su/watever etc later"

Just try and make sure ya try establish eye contact first, and try not be too nervous, she might have spotted you too.

Good luck keep us posted!

Carsinian Thau

Just walk up to her just as she leaves the library and ask her out.
Easier said than done I know.
Alternatively, take a peek at a book she's reading and strike up a conversation about that outside the library. Be sure you're interested in the subject though if you go down that route.

papazen

i wouldn't bother with small talk - this will fall flat in seconds and you will be left holding your tool. if you are approaching her in a library just be direct and ask her to go for a coffee straight out. dont tell her your name and then ask her, just walk straight up and ask her off the bat. introducing yourself looks a bit desperate imo.

my banana idea was not OT, this is genuinely what i would do. seriously, bring a banana onto the dancefloor of a night club, or eat an apple in the smoking area - it's a good conversation piece.

elle

Next time you're in the library why don't you just take a seat next to or near her. I generally end up talking to the person beside/opp me at some stage. You could borrow a pen/offer chewing gum, something simple like asking her how the study is going, then maybe see if u can strike up a conversation from there, even if it means suggesting u share a study break over a coffee.

Phototoxin

yeah ask straight out

also

know this may sound silly, but I'm in my early 20s and I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not very experienced in this type of thing.

its not silly. You're a non-conformist. :-)

blue4ever

papazen wrote: »

i wouldn't bother with small talk - this will fall flat in seconds and you will be left holding your tool. if you are approaching her in a library just be direct and ask her to go for a coffee straight out. dont tell her your name and then ask her, just walk straight up and ask her off the bat. introducing yourself looks a bit desperate imo.

my banana idea was not OT, this is genuinely what i would do. seriously, bring a banana onto the dancefloor of a night club, or eat an apple in the smoking area - it's a good conversation piece.

and i get the public dressing down by the Morality Stazi......

Notatoxford

Silverfish wrote: »

She has to leave the library sometime.

When she does, you walk up and you say 'Hi, I'm X, would you like to go for a coffee?'

What if the op's name isn't X?What if his name is Joesph Fritzel or something like that?

Nevyn

blue4ever one week ban for off topic posting, unhelpful posting, commenting on a mod action in the thread.

Overheal

never had a girlfriend is just code for fresh goods - it makes you less likely to carry genital herpes than your competitors

try getting her into a conversation why dont you? "Hmm, I see you're reading up on Inverse Quadratic Interpolation. Thats cool.." Just find your inner comic, it helps. That there is a Garth line.



And he scored a hottie even if she did turn out to be a psycho that wanted him to kill her husband... thats not important.

Notatoxford

Lonely guy wrote: »

I've noticed this girl in my college library, and I really really fancy her. I'd love to ask her out, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this may sound silly, but I'm in my early 20s and I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not very experienced in this type of thing.

Obviously, I can't talk in the library, so would it be a good idea to hand her a note asking her out, or would this look weird?


Any advice appreciated.

Just ask her does she want to have unprotected sex with you.When she says no just say thats fine I'll get a condom.

Nevyn

Notatoxford banned.

papazen

i've actually just thought of something a little less hair-brained.

bring a female friend along to study with you in the library and sit close to/across from desired girl - it will prove that you have friends that are girls so you are an interesting, sociable guy. then engage desired girl in harmless conversation "what band is playing freshers' week this year?" "i went to see band 'x' last year" "i heard a rumor that it might be band 'y' this year". then ask would she like to join you and your friend for a study break. three people will have alot more to talk about than two, and it will relieve any social awkwardness. it also won't look like you are blatantly hitting on her.

if you are shy, this could be a good idea. what do you think of suggestions/comments so far OP?

RealistSpy

Hey Lonely,

The truth is you just have to be brave and take it one step at a time. All you have to do is ask her name. Then the next day ask how she is doing. Just one step at a time and If she don't take a fancy at least you 2 could be friends.

Good Luck mate I know you will do well we are all human beings right?

LegacyUser

papazen wrote: »

don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

if it's a college library, i don't think that talking to her is out of the question - it wouldn't be in my college library. personally, i would take a banana into the library, and peel it meticulously, drawing attention to myself. i would then chomp on the banana like a monkey. when finished i would storm over to the nearest bin and dumb the empty banana skin. stalk straght up to the girl and say that i'm bored off my ass studying and ask would she like to go for a coffee with me on her next study break.

definitely don't hand her a note, that would look weird.

I should have mentioned that it's kind of an adult college, and there is definitely no talking inside the library. I know in most college libraries, talking is fine and the staff wouldn't be bothered about it. But the place Im studying in at the moment is totally different- the library is fairly small and is usually packed, and the students just don't talk there. Even if a person was whispering, one of the librarians would be down in a second to break up the conversation and hand out fines.

Yes, there has been some eye contact, but this may be because she thinks I'm a creepy stalker, LOL.

And, she does go for coffee/smoke breaks, and I thought of following her out of the library on one of her breaks, but I seriously think that that this would make me look like a stalker.




Thanks for all the suggestions so far.

Hrududu

I would advise against walking up and asking her out straight away. Like others I recommend making eye contact or striking up a conversation. Then just go from there.

LegacyUser

Any more suggestions?

I'm especially interested to hear what girls here would think of the note idea.....

Silverfish

Personally, I'd find the note idea not a great one.

I'd feel that it put the onus on me to go talk to him, when he couldn't be bothered speaking to me and threw a note at me? Unless you're 16, its a very childish schoolyard way of doing things.

That said, if you really don't think you can speak to the girl, I suppose its not the worst idea, but really, talking to her first is more appropriate than a note.

pookie82

Lonely Guy wrote: »

I should have mentioned that it's kind of an adult college, and there is definitely no talking inside the library. I know in most college libraries, talking is fine and the staff wouldn't be bothered about it. But the place Im studying in at the moment is totally different- the library is fairly small and is usually packed, and the students just don't talk there. Even if a person was whispering, one of the librarians would be down in a second to break up the conversation and hand out fines.

Yes, there has been some eye contact, but this may be because she thinks I'm a creepy stalker, LOL.

And, she does go for coffee/smoke breaks, and I thought of following her out of the library on one of her breaks, but I seriously think that that this would make me look like a stalker.




Thanks for all the suggestions so far.

Before I saw this I was gonna suggest that if she happened to be a smoker, follow her out (well, watch for her breaks and subtly follow a half a minute later). You don't have to have a smoke yourself, just wander over, stretch a bit, make a comment about being stressed/bored/studied out etc. This will give you a good chance to see if she's receptive to you without actually having to ask her out and mortify yourself. Just take it from there. Lots of non-smokers step out of the library for fresh air mid study session - you needn't look like a stalker.

I used to have this situation with a guy in the library in college too. it dragged out for months until one day he just came up to me and struck up a conversation about the long hours we were keeping in there and what i was reading. I was delighted! Within minutes we were chatting away. it just takes a second of guts.

Good luck.

JonathanAnon

takes me back to my college days. I was terribly shy as well and hadnt had a girlfriend. But this is not a bad thing in some ways and is nothing to be embarrassed. Just imagine if you had a kid with someone you "loved" in your teens and had to fund the kid and your college fees. Happened to one of the guys in there.

Regarding the girl, you would be better off making it seem like a chance encounter. Even something as simple (and stupid) as "finding" a book and asking her if she left it behind. Something that doesnt seem so contrived as coming up to her and just putting her on the spot by asking her out - Even if you were Brad Pitt she is unlikely to go for this, and it will end up being very embarrassing for both of you.

And display confidence when you speak to her, even if you are terrified. Speak confidently and clearly, without smiling excessively. Act casual, dont mumble your words or stare at her excessively. Good luck

JonathanAnon

oh yeah, and DO NOT go with the note idea.... you are not robbing a bank. She will think you are a complete freak...

LegacyUser

Thanks- it seems that nobody is in favour of the note.


So, I think I might follow her out on one of her breaks. I was reluctant to go this route initially because I thought it might make me look like a stalker. You don't think this would look creepy or stalkerish?



Also, I'm quite shy with girls so I'm not sure what I should say to break the ice. As I mentioned before I'm very inexperienced with girls.

What exactly should I say when I approace this girl?





Thanks for all the responses.

JonathanAnon

well with mature students and all that, I thought all colleges were "Adult". Look if goes out for a break every day, you at least have the opportunity where you can get her on her own to talk to whenever you want. This is a real positive thing, an opportunity. Would be much worse if you NEVER had the opportunity to get her on her own.

If she goes out for a break every day and you just happen to be outside once when she is, it is a coincidence. Even if it is your contrived coincidence. If she went for a break every day and you followed her out every day that would be stalking. She is a human being, she is not a god. Just talk to her as if you were talking to your sister, or female friend/cousin etc etc.