Are you ,,, A "practice girl"?

krd

For the sake of definition. A Practice Girl,, is a girl that a young man, who is shy of women and inexperienced, uses to build and develop Technique without becoming overly attached, and in a comfortable position to discard when a "proper girl" comes along.

Love making is a skill that takes time in developing. All sensible young men could do with operating on the practice thing,, instead of making a hash of it when the real thing comes along.

Top ten indicators to tell if you're a Practice girl.

1. You wear unfemmine clothing -- (all the time) Sweatshirts and jeans,,tracksuits. Even though you're going nowhere near a gym or track event.

2. You're always one of the lads. Drinking heavily and pretending to be thicker then you are (but you are thick) -- This is a ruse to lower the defenses of young men, who are nervous of women who are femmine.

3. You have the shape of a mutated pear ,,, and don't really mind. Your ass would make Jesus weep.

4. When you try make up ,,, you look like an umpa loompa

5. The last time you wore a dress, was your communion.

6. You have a funny walk.

7. You can't tell the difference between cologne and toilet duck.

8. You try and talk like a 19 year old plumbers apprentice,,, but come off sounding like a 13 year old boy, trying to pretend he's 15, by growing a bum fluff moustache.

9. You have a moustache ,,, not in the Burt Reynolds class,but it's there.

10. You'd let a 19 year old plumbers apprentice perform uncomfortable and joyless sexual acts on you (It's not his fault -- he's just young -- and needs some practice).

Are you a Practice Girl?

tman

I'm a dude...

FunkZ

tman wrote: »

I'm a dude...

You better hope you're not some guys 'practise girl' then!

OP for site ban.

AlmightyCushion

A,r,e, ,y,o,u, ,B,o,s,s,A,r,k,y,?,

krd

FunkZ wrote: »

You better hope you're not some guys 'practise girl' then!

OP for site ban.

Some guys,, who are very afraid of girls ,, practice on each other.

The whole reason I brought this up has to do with Brian McFadden..

If he had sense earlier.. he wouldn't have got himself in so much trouble.

Some is for keeps and some is for dumps.

tman

I'm very confused... (not in a Brian McFadden kind of way though!)

Overheal

If Im a practise girl I think I have more problems than my boyfriend dumping me.

R0ot

I'd like to offer my services as a practice boy, to every girl out there wanting practice in the acts of sexual intercourse I am here for you!

P.S. No short chicks. Unless they pay. :pac:

LadyJ

krd wrote: »

10. You'd let a 19 year old plumbers apprentice perform uncomfortable and joyless sexual acts on you

Anyone who has a "practice girl", as defined here, is bound to be sh!t in bed regardless because you can't get good at sex if the person you're riding lets you do whatever you like and says nothing if they hate it.

No learning there. That's just glorified ****.

Overheal

So long as its glorified who the f*ck cares?

LadyJ

Overheal wrote: »

So long as its glorified who the f*ck cares?

Well yeah but my point is that regardless of how much you "practice" with someone like that you're still gonna suck in the sack. Why not just screw someone you actually like?

Overheal

because those kind of people dont have the cajones to ask out the people they actually like.

Sherifu

I'll take 3.

FlutterinBantam

LadyJ wrote: »

Well yeah but my point is that regardless of how much you "practice" with someone like that you're still gonna suck in the sack. Why not just screw someone you actually like?

The fcuk!!!:eek:

togster

My practice girl was a fat mess. I would gladly have swapped her for this type of lady you have described.

Riamfada

lol . Best thread ever! Tells it like it is.

In yo'face!
Ps: My practice girl was yore ma

Firetrap

After a description like that, I don't think anyone would want to admit to being one of those

Riamfada

yeah but how many people do you know fit that description?!

Samba

Grimes yeah but how many people do you know fit that description?!

The OP just described my Nan, should i be worried?

I don't like this thread :mad:

Karoma

Moonbaby wrote: »

I don't like this thread :mad:

If you feel that you or someone close to you has been affected by the issues raised in this thread, please call our support line on 1800-someonewhogivesa****.

Slidey

LadyJ wrote: »

No learning there. That's just glorified ****.

Yeah... but you dont have to clean up the mess afterwards...

Shoot the load, then hit the road!:cool:

AnonoBoy

My practice girl was a stunning Latvian model (from Latvia of all places!). I win this thread.

Riamfada

I made my practice girl out of a flymo and an empty bag of tayto

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Havermeyer

Grimes wrote: »

I made my practice girl out of a flymo and an empty bag of tayto

MacGyver?! Is that you?

Riamfada

You ever wonder why magyver would stop to pick up random things during an episode?.

He was making a practice girl

Cunny-Funt

Family guy did a bit on this, but youtube as failed me.

dr.bollocko

My practice girl was a pediatric nurse named Claire.
Likes: Long walks, crazy sex and tall dark strangers.
I seem to recall she had strong feelings on the Blair government that were later quoted on page 3 of the sun newspaper.
She always looked me in the eye during lovemaking and wore only one staple.
I still have her in my wallet somewhere.

truecrippler

I like the sounds of practice girls. Where can I obtain a couple of these? Are they dangerous?

Lillyella

Is there any hope for Practice Girls? Do they ever find love? (Other than with a cream doughnut?)

truecrippler

Lillyella wrote: »

Is there any hope for Practice Girls? Do they ever find love? (Other than with a cream doughnut?)

I'd gladly make love with a cream doughnut.

Acacia

truecrippler wrote: »

I'd gladly make love with a cream doughnut.

Indeed. At least the cream doughnut won't tell you you're just the practice girl and dump you when the 'real thing' comes along.

Boys are so cruel.

Lillyella

Lillyella wrote: »

Is there any hope for Practice Girls? Do they ever find love? (Other than with a cream doughnut?)

No way I'd swap a cream doughnut for the real thing. Nyom!

Dudess

Harsh of me but when I read the opening post, a former flatmate immediately sprang to mind.

krd wrote: »

1. You wear unfemmine clothing -- (all the time) Sweatshirts and jeans,,tracksuits. Even though you're going nowhere near a gym or track event.

Check

2. You're always one of the lads. Drinking heavily and pretending to be thicker then you are (but you are thick)

Check - I don't know whether she actually is thick though.

You have the shape of a mutated pear ,,, and don't really mind. Your ass would make Jesus weep.

Well she's a bit chunky but it's more because she has a broad build.

When you try make up ,,, you look like an umpa loompa

Check

You try and talk like a 19 year old plumbers apprentice,,, but come off sounding like a 13 year old boy, trying to pretend he's 15, by growing a bum fluff moustache.

Mmmm... kinda check - she's 26 but talks like a teenager.

You'd let a 19 year old plumbers apprentice perform uncomfortable and joyless sexual acts on you (It's not his fault -- he's just young -- and needs some practice).

Check

She has overheard guys laughing at her and how she's so handy for a blowjob if they're really stuck for action of a Saturday night. None of them want a relationship with her. The girl seems to have zero confidence. And she could be pretty if she made an effort, but she just wears the same tracksuit bottoms, hoodie and runners combo day in, day out.

Adam

Dudess wrote: »

Harsh of me but when I read the opening post, a former flatmate immediately sprang to mind.

Check

Check - I don't know whether she actually is thick though.

Well she's a bit chunky but it's more because she has a broad build.

Check

Mmmm... kinda check - she's 26 but talks like a teenager.

Check

She has overheard guys laughing at her and how she's so handy for a blowjob if they're really stuck for action of a Saturday night. None of them want a relationship with her. The girl seems to have zero confidence. And she could be pretty if she made an effort, but she just wears the same tracksuit bottoms, hoodie and runners combo day in, day out.

Can I have her number?

Slidey

When your finished send her my way.. beauty is only a light switch away

SV

I love practise girls.

Lillyella

Dudess wrote: »

She has overheard guys laughing at her and how she's so handy for a blowjob if they're really stuck for action of a Saturday night. None of them want a relationship with her. The girl seems to have zero confidence. And she could be pretty if she made an effort, but she just wears the same tracksuit bottoms, hoodie and runners combo day in, day out.

Poor thing. She probably gives out the BJ's as she sees it as a way of gaining positive male attention.

Slidey

Lillyella wrote: »

Poor thing. She probably gives out the BJ's as she sees it as a way of gaining positive male attention.

Good on her, without her and her like i'd have a right arm the size of a rhinos back leg

Dudess

Lillyella wrote: »

Poor thing. She probably gives out the BJ's as she sees it as a way of gaining positive male attention.

Aw yeah, it seems that way all right. Really sound person, but needs to cop on in this department.

Adam

Dudess wrote: »

Aw yeah, it seems that way all right. Really sound person, but needs to cop on in this department.

PI, over there

---

>

:P

Lillyella

Dudess wrote: »

Aw yeah, it seems that way all right. Really sound person, but needs to cop on in this department.

I would say that it will come with age, but at 26, she should be starting to cop on alright.

javaboy

Is it like playing Easy mode on a computer game to get used to it? So when you've cleared/clocked/beaten*/finished her off, she says "Well Done! Maybe you'd like to try a hotter chick harder level?"




*not encouraging wimmin beating, it's just a term for finishing a computer game

Earthhorse

Dudess wrote: »

Aw yeah, it seems that way all right. Really sound person, but needs to cop on in this department.

Is this a cryptic clue to her current location? Department > Store > High Street? Come on, we need more information here.

javaboy wrote: »

Is it like playing Easy mode on a computer game to get used to it? So when you've cleared/clocked/beaten*/finished her off, she says "Well Done! Maybe you'd like to try a hotter chick harder level?"

Playing computer games is exactly like making love to a woman. If you push the right buttons she'll do what you want.

Also, the graphics looked better in the screenshots you saw.

And most are way too expensive for the amount of gameplay you get.

And occasionally have to take the cartridge out and blow on it to make things work.

Crumble Froo

i tick off more checks in this than i like to think of :P

lolz, not a practise girl though.

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

Playing computer games is exactly like making love to a woman. If you push the right buttons she'll do what you want.

Also, the graphics looked better in the screenshots you saw.

And most are way too expensive for the amount of gameplay you get.

And occasionally have to take the cartridge out and blow on it to make things work.

If you cheat on computer games does that mean..... :eek:

Also sometimes when I'm playing a computer game and I'm really into it and I'm further than I've ever gotten before, it will just freeze up all of a sudden and I can't play it any more.

Earthhorse

javaboy wrote: »

If you cheat on computer games does that mean..... :eek:

Think we're gonna a need a subforum of Games called PC Issues to resolve quandries like that.

javaboy wrote: »

Also sometimes when I'm playing a computer game and I'm really into it and I'm further than I've ever gotten before, it will just freeze up all of a sudden and I can't play it any more.

In most games if you collect enough jewels you can save your progress. That way all your hard work won't have been lost.

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

In most games if you collect enough jewels you can save your progress. That way all your hard work won't have been lost.

I have a vague recollection of taking my sister's cherry when I was about 5.







We were playing Bubble Bobble on the C64 and she was supposed to get the cherry as I had gotten almost all the other fruit but I nipped in by dropping through the bottom of the screen and stole it. She was fierce angry over the whole thing.

Earthhorse

javaboy wrote: »

I nipped in my dropping through the bottom of the screen and stole it.

Is that what you call it?

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

Is that what you call it?

Who said "my". I clearly said "by" not "my".