Did I "do the gayness"?

tallaght01

I'm a straight man. Not an ounce of the ghey in me. No probs with the ghays, but it ain't for me :P

Anyway, was out last night. All went well. No major banter just a bit of a boogie, and some banter with a few middle-aged Japanesetourists.

Went to bed about 5am.

As the cock crowed at about 7am, I rolled over in my warm bed. I put my arm out and embraced the warm, sleeping body that was lying in a deep slumber beside me.

eh.....HANG ON ONE ****LING MINUTE.........

WHY IS THERE A PERSON IN MY BED???????

WHY IS HE...........A HE??????????????


Jesus H Christ on a mountainbike there's a bloke in bed with me.

I grabbed him and shook him violently. It was an old mate of mine from uni. He's staying with me for the weekend.

"Dude, why are you in my bed????? How did you get into my flat????".

Last time I saw him was about midnight and he was getting stuck into some bird in the nightclub. I didn't expect to see him until later today, tbh.

So, we both sat bolt upright. A bead of sweat ran down my forehead.

He was still wasted. I hadn't been drinking.

"Tallaght01, did you take advantage of me while I was drunk??".

"**** off".

So, we've tried to retrace our steps. He says he definitely remebers having sex last night. His sticky underpants back up his claim. However he thinks it was with the girl he met last night,but he can't be sure.
I don't remember having a recent sexual experience, and I was sober.

I think he stumbled home drunk and let himself in (I gave him a key) and climbed into my bed.

Itwould be impossible for us to have had a drunken, sleepy moment of ghayness. Wouldn't it?

I've shared beds with guys before, but have always observed the "duvet rule", whereby one guy has to sleep on top of the duvet while the other sleeps under it.

So, I'm trying to look at the facts here.

Factors that go against us having done gayness:

1) I was sober and I don't remember any gayness.

2) He was fully clothed when we woke up

3) It's likely that he had sex with an actual woman earlier in the night.

Factors that suggest we may have had gayness:

1) I woke up in bed with a dude

2)he reckons he definitely had sex. He's unsure who it was with, though.

3) He would rattle anything when he's drunk

Anyone else every been in the position. I need some closure on this so that I can look me old buddy in the eye once more :pac:

Dave147

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
PWNED

TequilaMockingBird

Good morning tallaght01,

Here is your ghey password: xxxxxxxx.
Please enjoy all our facilities and visit us again soon.
Please use the link here to visit our homepage: www.iamnowghey.com

Best wishes and thanks for joining our group!
The Ghey Team

jaffa20

even a mod can't choose the right forum:rolleyes:


I would say you've caught a dose of the 'gayness'. do you want me to come over later...:P

TequilaMockingBird

jaffa20 wrote: »

even a mod can't choose the right forum:rolleyes:

Which forum would you recommend?

R0ot

Funniest thread i've read in quite a while, but I do not believe you did the 'gayness' :pac:

brianthebard

Is your bumhole sore op?If you were sober why can't you remember?

jaffa20

sueme wrote: »

Which forum would you recommend?

Personal issues, humour, lgbt ???

It really depends on the OP's aim with this post and where he wants his gheyness to go...

tallaght01

jaffa20 wrote: »

Personal issues, humour, lgbt ???

It really depends on the OP's aim with this post and where he wants his gheyness to go...

jaffa20 wrote: »

even a mod can't choose the right forum:rolleyes:


I would say you've caught a dose of the 'gayness'. do you want me to come over later...:P

keep yer rolleyes to yerself, kid. It's just a bit of banter.

R0ot

jaffa20 wrote: »

Personal issues, humour, lgbt ???

It really depends on the OP's aim with this post and where he wants his gheyness to go...

I think this kind of thread perfectly fits in AH

SimpleSam06

Ah jesus am I going to catch teh ghey after reading that post? Its wafting off me monitor now...

jaffa20

tallaght01 wrote: »

keep yer rolleyes to yerself, kid. It's just a bit of banter.

No worries kid :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Go back to bed;)

DublinWriter

tallaght01 wrote: »

As the cock crowed...

Indeed

tallaght01 wrote: »

Anyone else every been in the position.

Nope.

tallaght01 wrote: »

I need some closure on this so that I can look me old buddy in the eye once more

Which eye would that be?

R0ot

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

Its wafting off me monitor now...

Your wafting what off your monitor? :eek:

Marcus.Aurelius

I doubt there was teh ghey.

Is your butt sore OP? I mean, your a doccy for God's sake.

SimpleSam06

Marcus.Aurelius wrote: »

I doubt there was teh ghey.

Is your butt sore OP? I mean, your a doccy for God's sake.

Well he might have just been teabagged when he was asleep. That would also explain the sticky underwear.

SimpleSam06

R0ot wrote: »

Your wafting what off your monitor? :eek:

Its alright I've a tescos bag dropped over it now.

BenjAii

OMG !!

Have you noticed any of the other "gheyness" danger signs ?? If so get yourself checked out straight away ...

1. Suddenly have better taste in clothes and want to bin 75% of you old wardrobe ?
2. Started fretting that you've wasted all these years without using moisturiser.
3. Taste in pop music converging with that of your 13 old niece.
4. Do a double take when you pass a stunningly attractive woman on the street - wow, she knows how to accessorize, where did she get those shoes ?
5. Sudden passion for rugby ? It is loads of strapping muscular men in cute tiny little shorts bending over a lot ....

The waking of in bed with another man sober is the least of your danger signals, start getting more than 1 or 2 of the above and you're literally f*****

Flamed Diving

So your friend has a memory of having sex with a woman, and then had sticky pants?


Wet dream?

tallaght01

To those who have questioned my anal integrity....I don't have a sore arse. But what if I was the pitcher, and he was the taker? :P

BenjAii wrote: »

OMG !!

Have you noticed any of the other "gheyness" danger signs ?? If so get yourself checked out straight away ...

1. Suddenly have better taste in clothes and want to bin 75% of you old wardrobe ?
2. Started fretting that you've wasted all these years without using moisturiser.
3. Taste in pop music converging with that of your 13 old niece.
4. Do a double take when you pass a stunningly attractive woman on the street - wow, she knows how to accessorize, where did she get those shoes ?
5. Sudden passion for rugby ? It is loads of strapping muscular men in cute tiny little shorts bending over a lot ....

The waking of in bed with another man sober is the least of your danger signals, start getting more than 1 or 2 of the above and you're literally f*****

Jesus. I never thought of that. After the incident, I went to get me haircut. For only the second time in my life, I went to a "hairdresser", rather than a barber. I thought it was just a question of convenience. But what if it was my latent homosexuality bubbling under the surface???

:pac:

Overheal

Its just a little Sparkle dear, nothing to go flamboyant over.

Wibbs

tallaght01 wrote: »

To those who have questioned my anal integrity....I don't have a sore arse. But what i I was the pitcher, and he was the taker? :P

Whoa whoa slow down with the medical mumbo jumbo there Ted! Why can't you lot just speak english ffs? Just give it to me straight doc, or ghey if that suits you better......

chem

Only one thing can sort out this problem. You will both have to smell each others love sticks. It might mean a 69 position:o If you suddenly feel the urge to put your m8s love stick into your mouth, I am afraid you are now a gaylord:P

DonkeyStyle \o/

tallaght01 wrote: »

I've shared beds with guys before, but have always observed the "duvet rule", whereby one guy has to sleep on top of the duvet while the other sleeps under it.

That's only to prevent dutch ovens... it doesn't prevent the ghay, since dry-humping is still extremely likely.
Real (homophobic) men sleep on the floor at opposite ends of the room.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

BenjAii wrote: »

OMG !!

Have you noticed any of the other "gheyness" danger signs ?? If so get yourself checked out straight away ...

1. Suddenly have better taste in clothes and want to bin 75% of you old wardrobe ?
2. Started fretting that you've wasted all these years without using moisturiser.
3. Taste in pop music converging with that of your 13 old niece.
4. Do a double take when you pass a stunningly attractive woman on the street - wow, she knows how to accessorize, where did she get those shoes ?
5. Sudden passion for rugby ? It is loads of strapping muscular men in cute tiny little shorts bending over a lot ....

The waking of in bed with another man sober is the least of your danger signals, start getting more than 1 or 2 of the above and you're literally f*****

In fairness, with the exceptional of 3/4, that could be three quarters of the hetrosexual population of Dublin in there.

OP - if it turned out that you did do they gay thing, would you be that bothered...? Or would you need drastic counselling...? PI form

---

>

Voodu Child

tallaght01 wrote: »

I've shared beds with guys before, but have always observed the "duvet rule", whereby one guy has to sleep on top of the duvet while the other sleeps under it.

WTF?
There's no such thing as a 'duvet rule', you're definitely gay OP.

Don't worry, you're in Australia, nobody will notice.

taidghbaby

OP you have to ask yourself three questions:

1. did you remove any short and curlys from your teeth thismorning
2. is there any half-chewed sweetcorn in your bed
3. is it sore to piss

if the answer is yes to any of the above, then my friend you have had a night of rampant, homo-erotic man love......check your camera for evidence!





(i would just like to put it on the record that none of the above is from personal experience, before some smart arse comes on saying i seem to have a knowledge in this area)

adsgirl

Can you remember where you hand was when you woke up??

super_furry

You didn't, at any stage, dream you were skiing, did you?

SimpleSam06

Heh. Imagine his grandkids reading this thread. And they will.

Dun laoire

adsgirl wrote: »

Can you remember where you hand was when you woke up??

Probably trying to remover his mates sticky cacks from his head :pac:

adsgirl

As the cock crowed at about 7am,

Another clue, I am loving this game.

Big_Mac

Sounds like the gayness to me... You know what they say... any port in the storm. I believe the weather was really bad last night....... Ouch!


Watch some men playing football. Does that do it for you know?

Do you suddenly have a wimmins as a best friend now?

did the hairdresser 'style' your hair?

Do you have man cream for soft skin suddenly?

Have you suddenly noticed the blackheads that were always there but never really cared about them until now because you were too much of a man?

Have you stopped dreading dropping your wallet in the bathroom in a 'questionable' bar?

Do you suddenly crave Man Love?

If you answer yes to any of the above, or even need to hesitate about the answer, then I'm afraid it speaks for itself.

tallaght01

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

Heh. Imagine his grandkids reading this thread. And they will.

Hey, if I manage to sire some grandchildren, that will be proof enough that I'm not gay

kensutz

You might have been sober but rohypnol was used instead of alcohol.

Pighead

Pighead thinks you may have had a lucky escape this time tallaght buddy.
The combination of your mate kissing a girl and your soberness means that there's only a 47% chance that you and him engaged in sweet sweaty manlove.

You got lucky this time, probably better to ensure it doesn't happen again. Why not invest in alarm sensored underpants? Pighead uses them for his bedwetting problems. They're great, when any drop of moisture touched the nylon the alarm starts ringing and Pighead instinctively reaches for the wee wee bucket.

Petty sure they could double up as an anti manlove device. Send Pighead your address and we'll send you on a pair.

Big_Mac

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead thinks you may have had a lucky escape this time tallaght buddy.
The combination of your mate kissing a girl and your soberness means that there's only a 47% chance that you and him engaged in sweet sweaty manlove.

You got lucky this time, probably better to ensure it doesn't happen again. Why not invest in alarm sensored underpants? Pighead uses them for his bedwetting problems. They're great, when any drop of moisture touched the nylon the alarm starts ringing and Pighead instinctively reaches for the wee wee bucket.

Petty sure they could double up as an anti manlove device. Send Pighead your address and we'll send you on a pair.

Pighead has wee wee problems? What does pighead do when he wants to engage in some sweaty man / woman love? Does the alarm not scare pighead's mate away?

Pighead

Big_Mac wrote: »

Pighead has wee wee problems? What does pighead do when he wants to engage in some sweaty man / woman love? Does the alarm not scare pighead's mate away?

Pighead doesn't engage in sweaty manlove. Even if he wanted to, the pants wouldn't let him. The pants wear the pants in our relationship.

Big_Mac

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead doesn't engage in sweaty manlove. Even if he wanted to, the pants wouldn't let him. The pants wear the pants in our relationship.

Does that go for sweaty woman love too? Sounds tough pighead. Oh wait, what about sweaty Palm and her 5 sisters love?

tallaght01

The problem I have with the alarming underpants is that there's presumably a risk of a "negligent discharge".

Is the alarm loud? I mean, it's pretty hot over here. Could a bit of crotch sweat lead to a deafening alarm, with my whole apartment block being evacuated?

Imagine my shame when everyone is standing outside in their pyjamas, and I walk out with a siren rageing in my jocks.

Big_Mac

tallaght01 wrote: »

Imagine my shame when everyone is standing outside in their pyjamas, and I walk out with a siren rageing in my jocks.

If you got down with the man love last night you might end up like that in a few weeks anyway.....

Frisbee

Utterly and truly pwned....

tallaght01

wot does pwnd mean? I always see it written, but haven't a clue what it means

ScumLord

I don't think any gayness occurred. If you read between the lines it's obvious this is what's really bothering you.

Big_Mac

tallaght01 wrote: »

wot does pwnd mean? I always see it written, but haven't a clue what it means

Linky

pwned
A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned."

Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned."

It basically means "to own" or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.
"Man, I rock at my job, but I still got a bad evaluation. I was pwned."

OR

"That team totally pwned us."

AckwelFoley

tallaght01 wrote: »

I'm a straight man. Not an ounce of the ghey in me. No probs with the ghays, but it ain't for me

Ah yes, the immortal tell tale words of a rampant homo in denial.

Its ok..really.





.. .. homo

*points finger*

ha ha u caught teh gay.

leninbenjamin

i'm afraid we'll have to put him down...

Jack Sheehan

No i dont think the gay occured...this time.

Big_Mac

I dunno, seems fishy to me......(Pun intended)

Frisbee

Pray out the gay buddy

Its the only way to redeem yourself

AckwelFoley

The best way of knowin if some gayness occured is if u woke up wit a drippy condom hangin out ur ass.