People talking in the cinema

Carsinian Thau

One of the most annoying things that can happen.
If you've gone to see a movie you don't want to hear idle conversation, children asking what's going on, other people asking what happened when they went to the bathroom, children fighting over sweets and idiots telling their friends that they saw that bit coming an hour ago (especially when the film hasn't been on for an hour :mad: ).

Can anyone think of any way for us to strike back and reclaim the hallowed grounds of the silent cinema (apart from the soundtrack)?

Personally, I recommend stun guns. At worse you get a little hum as the charge up and a slight fizzing when they discharge (asuming you hit them correctly so as to prevent them from yelling out or anything).
Stun guns or cattle prods. Definitely the way to go.

Carsinian Thau

Fast acting sedatives could be a profitable avenue as well.

trowelled

Carsinian Thau wrote: »

One of the most annoying things that can happen.
If you've gone to see a movie you don't want to hear idle conversation, children asking what's going on, other people asking what happened when they went to the bathroom, children fighting over sweets and idiots telling their friends that they saw that bit coming an hour ago (especially when the film hasn't been on for an hour :mad: ).

Can anyone think of any way for us to strike back and reclaim the hallowed grounds of the silent cinema (apart from the soundtrack)?

Personally, I recommend stun guns. At worse you get a little hum as the charge up and a slight fizzing when they discharge (asuming you hit them correctly so as to prevent them from yelling out or anything).
Stun guns or cattle prods. Definitely the way to go.

OOh cattle prods. I'd have way too much fun with them.

KnifeWRENCH

Just slip some chloroform in their popcorn.

Ruu_Old

A seat that would give way and just send the perpetrator down a chute and land them in the rubbish skip outside. Like a trapdoor.

fonpokno

In the cinema last night, there was one fella on his phone for a good 20mins. Then one of the cinema dudes came in and told him to shut up.

"Just one minute, just one minute!......Alright I'll ring ya back, security's here making me hang up!"

Lovely man, sharing his conversational love with the whole cinema..... People like him make my brain bleed.


edit: cattle prods ftw!

Lainey

oh this melts my head.. why do they even bother going at all. The teenagers laughing and flirting and callin one another names at the back :mad::mad: ( i'm only jealous):p

zero19

Whats worse is people who have downloaded the film and give away the plot.....Ugh backstards

akamossy

This is so irritating. I don't get why people pay to go in and see the movie and just sit there and talk through the whole thing :mad: Its a waste of money and they've wasted my money because i can't hear the damn thing, agh... so annoying

trowelled

Ruu wrote: »

A seat that would give way and just send the perpetrator down a chute and land them in the rubbish skip outside. Like a trapdoor.

I likey. You could give them a poke with the cattle prod as a sort of warning and then if they keep it up the can be dropped down the trapdoor

bronte

I like Ruu's idea...some lad was yakking away on the phone last time I went.
Everyone went shhhh! and he still wouldn't shut up!
Even worse... I went to see Phantom of the Opera in London a few weeks ago and some cow would not shut up talking behind me..despite being told to several times :mad: Bleedin £40 theatre tickets and it's interrupted by blather mc blathersome!

hussey

People on the phone gets my goat

Esp when the phone is so bright it burns.

Or a combo of talk + phone

"Sorry can't talk now, I'm in the cinema"


Actually does anyone call it the pictures anymore?

darkskol

phones really annoy me in the cinema and talking dont even get me started...why pay nearly €10 in if all your going to do is just talk away.

Aurora Borealis

I like the cattle prod idea.

brianthebard

A swift jarring kick to the back of the chair should end most conversations methinks.

ejmaztec

It must really annoy those people who take their video cameras in with them, picking up all that unnecessary chat.

nobodythere

Carsinian Thau wrote: »

Can anyone think of any way for us to strike back and reclaim the hallowed grounds of the silent cinema (apart from the soundtrack)?

I know, let's go on the internet and complain about instead of telling them to STFU

Ruu_Old

bronte wrote: »

I like Ruu's idea...some lad was yakking away on the phone last time I went.
Everyone went shhhh! and he still wouldn't shut up!
Even worse... I went to see Phantom of the Opera in London a few weeks ago and some cow would not shut up talking behind me..despite being told to several times :mad: Bleedin £40 theatre tickets and it's interrupted by blather mc blathersome!

Ejector button would be good too. "What? Ah its okay, some whiney fecker was telling me to turn off the phone, just told them..whats the..WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Even if the film was rubbish, there would be some entertainment.

kowloon

grasshopa wrote: »

I know, let's go on the internet and complain about instead of telling them to STFU

Or lets go on the internet and complain about people complaining on the internet. I may have started a self perpetuating complaint thread .

SV

One of my friends told me the other day that he answered his phone in the cinema..I still consider punching him in the face.

ronano

report it to security/usher

i like the cattle prod idea tho but it should be used against twats in any situation

BigglesMcGee

I used to go twice a week.
The mobile phone has ruined the cinema experience. That and teenage gene pool rejects yapping.
I never go anymore at all, because there is ALWAYS someone on the phone or a group of gob****es yapping.

dr.bollocko

BigglesMcGee wrote: »

I used to go twice a week.
The mobile phone has ruined the cinema experience. That and teenage gene pool rejects yapping.
I never go anymore at all, because there is ALWAYS someone on the phone or a group of gob****es yapping.

Your mistake there is not going to really really terrible films, so bad that not even the kind of vaccuous moron who yaps away in the cinema can enjoy it.
I'm talking Gus Van Sandt bad.

stovelid

Went to Dundrum on a Saturday night and I was amazed at the amount of pri*cks that were chatting and laughing all through the film.

gazzer

It really pisses me off when people answer their phone or start talking loudly in the cinema. However each time it happens I let out a loud 'shush'. If that doesnt stop them I go over to them and tell them to shut the hell up and either watch the film or leave. If I didnt say anything to them I would be stressed out during the movie and I would have about 20 ulcers at this stage. Some people might think I am stupid to confront them but fcuk it. I have paid money in to watch a move and I will be dammed if some ignorant twat is going to ruin that for me.

I have the same philosophy on the bus. If somebody is smoking or playing chipmunk music on their mobiles I tell them to stop. I havnt gotten my head smashed in yet. I know people are afraid of confrontation but imo its the only way to reclaim these things back. If enough people confront the morons in cinemas, on the bus etc they might finally get the message.

Epic Tissue

gazzer wrote: »

It really pisses me off when people answer their phone or start talking loudly in the cinema. However each time it happens I let out a loud 'shush'. If that doesnt stop them I go over to them and tell them to shut the hell up and either watch the film or leave. If I didnt say anything to them I would be stressed out during the movie and I would have about 20 ulcers at this stage. Some people might think I am stupid to confront them but fcuk it. I have paid money in to watch a move and I will be dammed if some ignorant twat is going to ruin that for me.

I have the same philosophy on the bus. If somebody is smoking or playing chipmunk music on their mobiles I tell them to stop. I havnt gotten my head smashed in yet. I know people are afraid of confrontation but imo its the only way to reclaim these things back. If enough people confront the morons in cinemas, on the bus etc they might finally get the message.

Fair play, especially on the bus:pac: but the "shush" thing is equally annoying!

Late times for the cinema are probably better.. less kids

ZygOte

very simple answer, mobile phone jammers, i believe they are legal in France. cinema should install these and kill the problem once and for all.

or you can always bring your own :pac:

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/09/cell_phone_jammer_is_awesome_a.php

razorblunt

gazzer wrote: »

It really pisses me off when people answer their phone or start talking loudly in the cinema. However each time it happens I let out a loud 'shush'. If that doesnt stop them I go over to them and tell them to shut the hell up and either watch the film or leave. If I didnt say anything to them I would be stressed out during the movie and I would have about 20 ulcers at this stage. Some people might think I am stupid to confront them but fcuk it. I have paid money in to watch a move and I will be dammed if some ignorant twat is going to ruin that for me.

I have the same philosophy on the bus. If somebody is smoking or playing chipmunk music on their mobiles I tell them to stop. I havnt gotten my head smashed in yet. I know people are afraid of confrontation but imo its the only way to reclaim these things back. If enough people confront the morons in cinemas, on the bus etc they might finally get the message.

You're spot on lad, I once saw a guy reach over and take the phone off the guy in the row in front and tell him he'd get it back when it was over. He gave it back to him 5mins later buthis point was made. Everyone got a good laugh at that.

seahorse

Years ago I went with my bloke to the cinema to watch a Robert De Niro film and there were a gang of teenagers a few rows ahead of me talking shyte at the tops of their voices. They were annoying everyone with their inconsiderate full-throttle waffle and people were letting out hushed tut tuts that were getting them nowhere, the pig ignorant group just continued to ignore them and they were ruining the film; eventually I snapped.

I stood up and roared at the top of my voice: "ARE YOU ROBERT DE NIRO??? HEY, HEY, YOU PEOPLE TALKING, ARE ANY OF YOU ROBERT DE NIRO?????" To which I eventually got back an embarassed muttered "No" from one of them, to which I roared "WELL THEN SHUT THE FCUK UP - BECAUSE I PAID TO LISTEN TO ROBERT DE NIRO". Lol, a lot of people started laughing and a few people even clapped, my partner was mortified, but it shut them the fcuk up, there wasnt a mutter from any of them for the rest of the film. I just thought I'd share that because it's the way I'd advise anyone to deal with this as it was very effective and definitely the way to go if you dont mind making a bit of a show of yourself! (If you'd find that a bit too embarassing just remember you're in the dark, ha ha!)

biko

Carsinian Thau wrote: »

Can anyone think of any way for us to strike back and reclaim the hallowed grounds of the silent cinema (apart from the soundtrack)?

Get one of them WASP knifes.

experiMental

This is nothin' compared to shagging in the cinema

keen

Tell them to shut it, if they don't get someone that works there to say something. Works everytime.

Mossy Monk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyAZZHVfoQw

ixoy

It annoys me so much that it's my signature..

dr.bollocko

ixoy wrote: »

It annoys me so much that it's my signature..

Was thinkin of going to see the Dark knight this afternoon.
Only issue is that every individual in there will be yapping and moaning, kids will probably be running up and down the stairs, teenage girls will be giggling like a pack of demented seagulls, teenage boys will be drunk off their snuck in naggin, and it will probably all totally suck so much I wont even get to see the movie anyway.
Bastards need to be kicked in the neck.

TerrorFirmer

seahorse wrote: »

I stood up and roared at the top of my voice: "ARE YOU ROBERT DE NIRO??? HEY, HEY, YOU PEOPLE TALKING, ARE ANY OF YOU ROBERT DE NIRO?????" To which I eventually got back an embarassed muttered "No" from one of them, to which I roared "WELL THEN SHUT THE FCUK UP - BECAUSE I PAID TO LISTEN TO ROBERT DE NIRO".

That's brilliant....absolutely brilliant.

Piste

I went to see The Dark Knight last night and there were a few kids who started crying at the scary bits. That was really annoying, why bring your yougn child into a 15s if they're complete pussy anyway?!

TerrorFirmer

Piste wrote: »

I went to see The Dark Knight last night and there were a few kids who started crying at the scary bits. That was really annoying, why bring your yougn child into a 15s if they're complete pussy anyway?!

It's a 15A feature, and most certainly not suitable for kids, saw a few crying in the cinema yesterday, no more then 7 or 8 years of age. I say **** this parental responsibility system, up to 12A maybe, but these days too many violent films are getting a 15A rather then 16 rating with increasingly large amounts of stupid, ignorant parents equating it to PG because of the control given to them over what their children see.

I've also seen young children at Land of the Dead, and remember the controversy over Bad Santa? A 15 rated film, yet parents were ringing Joe Duffy lambasting the movie as if it was actually marketed as a Kid's film....even the promo poster shows a plastered, unwashed and unshaven Billy Bob drinking from a bottle of Spirits. But of course some parents just saw the 'Santa'.

Some people.....AGHHHHHHHHHH.

sam34

i was on a date with this guy who answered his phone in the middle of a film- i thought it was so incredibly ignorant, i just got up and walked out, and never saw him again. it was a good few yrs ago when most people didnt even have mobiles and he was a bit of a flash git. (i know i was probably a bit ignorant in walking out, but still...)

Nolanger

That's why it's best to sit in the front row away from these prats.

andrewie

Was away a few weeks ago with the girlfriend and we decided to go and see Hancock. Got there and it was nearly full, took our seats and throughout the film the girls behind us never stopped talking, kicking the back of the seats and then put their smelly feet in between our shoulders!

Call Me Jimmy

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

It's a 15A feature, and most certainly not suitable for kids, saw a few crying in the cinema yesterday, no more then 7 or 8 years of age. I say **** this parental responsibility system, up to 12A maybe, but these days too many violent films are getting a 15A rather then 16 rating with increasingly large amounts of stupid, ignorant parents equating it to PG because of the control given to them over what their children see.

I've also seen young children at Land of the Dead, and remember the controversy over Bad Santa? A 15 rated film, yet parents were ringing Joe Duffy lambasting the movie as if it was actually marketed as a Kid's film....even the promo poster shows a plastered, unwashed and unshaven Billy Bob drinking from a bottle of Spirits. But of course some parents just saw the 'Santa'.

Some people.....AGHHHHHHHHHH.

Haha, are you serious? I really would be interested to live a day in their lives to see how they survive with brains so small.

Call Me Jimmy

andrewie wrote: »

Was away a few weeks ago with the girlfriend and we decided to go and see Hancock. Got there and it was nearly full, took our seats and throughout the film the girls behind us never stopped talking, kicking the back of the seats and then put their smelly feet in between our shoulders!

Are you telling me you sat there and did nothing?

andrewie

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Are you telling me you sat there and did nothing?

No we told them to cut it out and stfu.

Call Me Jimmy

Ah right, it's just the way ye said "throughout the film", they kept it up even when ye told them to stop? BTW if you tell an usher at what point will they kick people out?

thelordofcheese

andrewie wrote: »

No we told them to cut it out and stfu.

you should have grabbed their foot and slashed their achilles tendon. That'd have sorted them out.

It's what jesus would have done.

andrewie

The cinema we were in there wasn't even an usher! There was two girls behind the sweet counter and one person on the desk. No one checking tickets or anything.

All this seemed to be the norm..

OK-Cancel-Apply

Yeah few things piss me off more than people talking in the cinema. They should have big bouncer types ready to throw them out.

Another thing I hate - a cinema full of a thick audience that's just WAITING to explode with laughter at the first line of dialogue, even when it's not funny. I mean, why aren't people able to take more than 2 minutes of tension/darkness without needing comic relief?

And how about those people who laugh at cliche racist jokes told by racist characters on screen (thinking it's comic relief)..? Idiots.

AckwelFoley

a personal pet hate of mine are these ppl that yap in the movie hall. Normally groups of teens trying to impress the girls among them.



i normally just walk out and tell the usher that if he doesnt sort them out i will.

It came to a point once during American Gangster last year when these kids too fcuking young to be there in the first place were constantly making a racket 3 rows in front of me.. other patrons tried to make them shut up.

Eventually i lost the rag, and marched down put my hand on the sholder of one of them and said to him quietly.. if i hear you talking or even chewing popcorn im going to cut your fcuking throat.. im not joking.

There were no more irritating noise after that.

Epic Tissue

Lots of angry boardsies on eh.. boards!

Mossy Monk

snyper wrote: »

Eventually i lost the rag, and marched down put my hand on the sholder of one of them and said to him quietly.. if i hear you talking or even chewing popcorn im going to cut your fcuking throat.. im not joking.

There were no more irritating noise after that.

Pld. People should start cutting their throats. Eliminates an annoying problem.