Near Death Experiences.

Pighead

Have you had any? Pighead had one back in 1985 the week after his 8th birthday and the very day when Bob Geldof was saving the world. It was raining and a young impetuous Pighead was speeding down a hill on his week old BMX.

Came to an intersection in the road, pulled the breaks and NOTHING! The rain and the cheap brake cable had conspired to ensure the bike wasn't for stopping. 3 2 1 and BANG. Pighead went arse over foot, spinning through the air like a well struck David Beckham free kick. The red van connected well.

Now naysayers like 6th and and his paranormal cronies will tell Pighead that he didn't have a near death experience, that it was in fact just a minor road accident..They'll say that to have a near death experience you must experience lights and tunnels and whispering ghosts. But thats just confusing matters. A near death experience does exactly what it says on the tin. It's an experience that nearly kills you. Getting hit by a speeding van when on a childs bike qualifies in the near death experience stakes in Pigheads eyes so stick that in your pipe paranormal geeks.

Don't remember much but can vividly remember Feed The World playing on a continuous loop inside the old cranium. Can also remember the smell of old people, probably because there was loads of old people around. There always is at a crash scene. Old people love tragedies.

So have you had any Near Death Experiences?

hussey

I went to Tallaght once

Irishcrx

Yep , about 3 years ago I was driving home and I was stupidly driving too fast as it was 3 am, was doing about 110 mph and I dropped a smoke on my lap next thing I knew I had hit the curb which send my car 8 feet in and air hurling towards a tree , I managed to spin it when she hit the ground but went tearing through a railings which stopped me about a foot in front of the tree had I hit that no doubt i'd have been killed, Luckily I was seriously hurt nothing I didn't recover from...thought me a harsh lesson though slow ****ing down.

Sherifu

I had one similar to yours Pighead; a bicycle with very bad breaks, a big hill leading onto a main road and me. Managed to turn it away from the main road and onto the hard shoulder but it was a close one. :eek:

Pighead

Irishcrx wrote: »

Yep , about 3 years ago I was driving home and I was stupidly driving too fast as it was 3 am, was doing about 110 mph and I dropped a smoke on my lap next thing I knew I had hit the curb which send my car 8 feet in and air hurling towards a tree , I managed to spin it when she hit the ground but went tearing through a railings which stopped me about a foot in front of the tree had I hit that no doubt i'd have been killed, Luckily I was seriously hurt nothing I didn't recover from...thought me a harsh lesson though slow ****ing down.

Would the harsh lesson there not be to wear cigarette proof trousers whilst driving. Maybe some sort of harsh acrylic material. It seems obvious to Pighead that it was the cigarette that caused the spinning of you and your car. Anyway delighted to hear you survived. Did you see any bright flashing ghostly lights?

Irishcrx

No pighead i'm afraid not, I dind't see my life flash either all i remember is having the time while in mid air to say..."Bolox" but a few mins later I seen flashing blue lights....they weren't angels though..

Dave!

Irishcrx wrote: »

Luckily I was seriously hurt

A glutton for punishment?

Haven't had any near death experiences really, but came close to disaster on a few occassions, usually when driving.

One time I was on the M50 when my eyes kind of closed for a second (I was apparantly tired), and I opened them to find myself swerving towards the barrier :eek: That coulda been bad. I spent the rest of the journey going about 10 kmph while I tried to stop sweating and restore my heart-rate to normal.

Magpie!

I fell in a cattle trough full of water when i was 2. I have no memory of it but my father is still traumatised. He's not good in a crisis, he saw it happen and just froze for a few seconds. :eek:

Neamhshuntasach

Quite a few actually by your defintion.

I was kidnapped by FARC and thought i was gonna get shot when i was told to kneel down and had a gun pointed at the back of my head. I thought they were actually paramilitaries and that the big red star on my back would deem me a socialist. Ended up saving me in the end.

I was also on a bus in Costa Rica that plumeted off the side of a mountain. Tumbled down the hill and into a lagoon. Don't know how i survived that one. I was pulled out unconscious. Nobody died though.

And once me and a mate had an experience with a black bear when camping in california. Luckily my mate was a yank and knew that shouting at them would scare them off. Later found out that black bears don't really attack humans so maybe not as near death as i first thought.

Then i've had the usual getting knocked down. One was by a bus.

I'm like a fu<king cat

Beruthiel

While coming off my motorbike, two thoughts went through my mind.
"Oh Sh!t!"
and
"Well, I had a great life"

Steve_o

It wasn't exactly near death tbh but the closest i've experienced. I fancied myself as Spiderman as a kid, and decided to scale a large tree, There was a swing rope on it, and I decided to (try) swing from this tree back down to the safety of the ground....it failed... I held the rope for the first half a second, then my grip went I fell about 15 feet into a heap on the ground.... was very dazed for a while and busted up my ankle real bad, and to make things worse Green Goblin got away with Mary-Jane!!!:D

Pighead

Beruthiel wrote: »

While coming off my motorbike, two thoughts went through my mind.
"Oh Sh!t!"
and
"Well, I had a great life"

Motorbike? You drive a motorbike? Pighead supposes that you would have to wear some sort of leather apparell whilst riding said motorbike.

If Pighead were to imagine a reconstruction of your accident in his head would the following picture be an accurate representation of you in the immediate aftermath of teh crash?
http://www.annefletcher.com/images/storm.jpg

Just wondering like. It's good to get these things straight in your head.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Quazzie

Back in 98 after dropping my debs tucks into the local town I met a tractor road. I was only driving a short while so naively decided to drive straight past the well lit up tractor, unfortunately for me the slurry tank he was towing wasn't so well lit up and was about two foot wider than the tractor. Can't remember the bang. Just remember waking up in a ditch with a 1.0 litre daihatsu charade engine sitting where my leg used to be and then feeling down along my leg only to cut myself on my thigh bone sticking out through the side. Waiting over an hour without any medical help while the fire brigade guys cut me out was pretty sore.
Anyways, 6 months in a full leg cast and another three after it on crutches I'm pretty ok except for the flat area mid leg where my kneecap used to be and the severe scarring and muscle loss along my leg, but it is a great conversation starter when lying on beaches in Spain.

So all in all well worth it. Can't remember any angels or bright lights but certainly feel lucky to get out of it alive.

Pighead

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

Quite a few actually by your defintion.

I was kidnapped by FARC and thought i was gonna get shot when i was told to kneel down and had a gun pointed at the back of my head. I thought they were actually paramilitaries and that the big red star on my back would deem me a socialist. Ended up saving me in the end.

I was also on a bus in Costa Rica that plumeted off the side of a mountain. Tumbled down the hill and into a lagoon. Don't know how i survived that one. I was pulled out unconscious. Nobody died though.

And once me and a mate had an experience with a black bear when camping in california. Luckily my mate was a yank and knew that shouting at them would scare them off. Later found out that black bears don't really attack humans so maybe not as near death as i first thought.

Then i've had the usual getting knocked down. One was by a bus.

I'm like a fu<king cat

We have a winner. You do realise however that you will eventually die in a ridiculous and slightly comical manner. People like you always do.

Spending your whole lives cheating deaths in war and adventures until finally popping your clogs after slipping on a carelessly left banana skin on your kitchen floor.

AnonoBoy

Worked in a mortuary for 6 months. Longest and most boring near death experience of my life.

dosed

i once thought that it would be a good idea to swim to a pretty island that i could see. it was maybe 1km away?
got halfway when the current got me
very scarey hour.
i'm a fairly good swimmer, but Ive never put my heart and soul into it like i did that day. got swept right around the island but some how managed to get ashore at the last minute.
the whole hour i was giving it socks i dont remember thinking any thought other than '****'.

Phoole

I fell off a 40 foot cliff in Howth back in 1995. Still here.... have the scars to prove it.

Pighead

Phoole wrote: »

I fell off a 40 foot cliff in Howth back in 1995. Still here.... have the scars to prove it.

Having scars isn't really proof that you're still here. Dead people have scars too. You probably should have wrote: Still here....this post proves it.

Just a suggestion.

Dave!

Pighead wrote: »

Having scars isn't really proof that you're still here. Dead people have scars too. You probably should have wrote: Still here....this post proves it.

Just a suggestion.

Yeah but anybody could just log into his account and post that... especially if he has a poorly-chosen password like you have Pighead.

LouOB

hussey wrote: »

I went to Tallaght once

Me too
Someone pulled out a mache (er big knife) and robbed me + friends
Better da devil you know huh

LouOB

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

Quite a few actually by your defintion.

I was kidnapped by FARC and thought i was gonna get shot when i was told to kneel down and had a gun pointed at the back of my head. I thought they were actually paramilitaries and that the big red star on my back would deem me a socialist. Ended up saving me in the end.

I was also on a bus in Costa Rica that plumeted off the side of a mountain. Tumbled down the hill and into a lagoon. Don't know how i survived that one. I was pulled out unconscious. Nobody died though.

And once me and a mate had an experience with a black bear when camping in california. Luckily my mate was a yank and knew that shouting at them would scare them off. Later found out that black bears don't really attack humans so maybe not as near death as i first thought.

Then i've had the usual getting knocked down. One was by a bus.

I'm like a fu<king cat

If you were my friend Id NEVER go on hols with you
Actually anywhere

Please check your back for painted target sign:p

Pighead

Dave! wrote: »

Yeah but anybody could just log into his account and post that... especially if he has a poorly-chosen password like you have Pighead.

Pighead's password is bombproof Dave! (Whats with the exclamation mark by the way? it sort of implies surprise but you're here most days so that kind of negates any "Oh look it's Dave" moments.). Theres letters numbers and even symbols involved. Some of which aren't even on regular keyboards.

Anti

Got electructed as a kid. Went to tie my shoe lace and stod up touching a lamp post. Apparently there was a live wire touching off the inside, my dad had to hit me with a sweeping brush to get me off it.

Also had a extreme allergy to a dust mite living in saudi arabia, was in hospital for 3 months.

Not quite as exciting as the bloke who should have been dead multiple times !

Dave!

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead's password is bombproof Dave!

Liar! It's clearly not bombproof See what I did there?

Pighead wrote: »

(Whats with the exclamation mark by the way? it sort of implies surprise but you're here most days so that kind of negates any "Oh look it's Dave" moments.)

It's more for emphasis than surprise Pighead. In your head, when you see my name, I want you to be thinking "Dave!" rather than "Dave?" or even plain old "Dave" (actually that's not true, I wanted it to be Dave, but some other c*nt already has it )

Pighead wrote: »

Theres letters numbers and even symbols involved. Some of which aren't even on regular keyboards.

Now there's an idea... I wonder if gmail accepts Arabic letters as a password? :eek:



Oh another near-death thing.... I decided a few years ago that it would be a good idea to warm up my butter knife on the heating coil in the toaster. Turns out it wasn't. Thank god for fuses! :eek:

Pighead

Dave! wrote: »

Oh another near-death thing.... I decided a few years ago that it would be a good idea to warm up my butter knife on the heating coil in the toaster. Turns out it wasn't. Thank god for fuses! :eek:

If you were surrounded by people who had a deep knowledge of fusebox manufacturers then it would have been the ideal opportunity to make a singing related joke about your near death experience.

But you'd have to wait until the next day otherwise it wouldn't really work. You see there's a fuse thats called an EJ Fuse.
http://www.swgr.com/products/FUSEHI_55-118.asp

So next time it happens start singing "Last night an EJ saved my life."

Dave!

Electricity-related jokes eh? I'll give that a shot

Anyways back on topic death and stuff rabble rabble rabble

6th

Anti wrote: »

my dad had to hit me with a sweeping brush to get me off it.

That reminds me of the story about you and the sheep.

dee8839

My 8 year old self was majorly unlucky...

Neither of these were, I suppose, near-death but it damn well felt like it at the time!

Playing in the round bales with a friend, yes, I am a farmer, I stumbled upon a stupid wasps nest. 53 stings including ones just under each eye. I was 8. I haven't been stung once since. I'm told I was only a few away from going into anaphalactic shock (I doubt this). That doesn't sound fun so said I wouldn't chance repeating that fun experience.

Soon after, Tralee Aquadome, decided to go around the rapids despite a fear of the current and an inability to reach the floor of the pool. That lifeguard saved my life. I'll never look at a red life ring with anything but respect again!

After those fun times, Mum kept me indoors for a while, until the whole luck thing turned around for me.

Neamhshuntasach

LouOB wrote: »

If you were my friend Id NEVER go on hols with you
Actually anywhere

Please check your back for painted target sign:p

I've a few mates going away with me for a few years soon enough. God help them.

When you travel as much as i do stuff is bound to happen to you more than someone who stays at home. I've come across people with worse stories.

Terry

A couple of car crashes, a few bicycle accidents, an OD, a couple of guns pointed at my head (don't know if they were loaded).
None of those were as scary as the time a 3-4 foot wide branch fell from a tree and landed no more than two feet in front of me though.

Steve_o

dee8839 wrote: »

Playing in the round bales with a friend, yes, I am a farmer, I stumbled upon a stupid wasps nest. 53 stings including ones just under each eye. I was 8. I haven't been stung once since. I'm told I was only a few away from going into anaphalactic shock (I doubt this). That doesn't sound fun so said I wouldn't chance repeating that fun experience.
.

Owww!!! Hay bales will be the death of all us, a friend of mine was pinned to a fence by one. He was on top of it and it moved and he fell in front of it and got pinned, broke a couple of ribs he did!! he was about 7 at the time!

Anti

6th wrote: »

That reminds me of the story about you and the sheep.

Ah the memories

unreggd

Mine were Final Destination style

I was repairin a wire off me fridge, openin the plug with a scissors I stabbed me finger, then the fridge was plugged in and i tripped on it and it exploded

orchidsrpretty

When I was about 15, my friend was teaching me how to swim. We went down to out local beach and she carried me out pretty far into the water and let me go. A big wave came and I was dragged under all I can remember is hearing strange noises. Lucky for me I was washed up on the shore and woke up vomiting up all the water I had swallowed.

truecrippler

Earlier this year while cycling to college down Newtown Park Hill (for anyone who knows it, its a coont to climb). Anyways, I was speeding down, no traffic on my side but traffic jam on the other side (to my right). There were roadworks going on at the time and there was a thick plank of wood on the road, I thought to myself that I could get over it no problem. Boy was I wrong!!! Me and my bike went flying through the air. I landed on my shoulder. Lucky I was wearing a helmet, leather jacket and jeans. No one stopped to help. But with that said, I got up straight away and cycles on.

Tis funny looking back on it. Actually, I've falled twice going down that hill. Ah... good times.

Zzippy

Another fine thread by Pighead. I see Beruthiel didn't reply to your post - she still playing hard to get?

Closest I came was flipping a van over at speed going round a bend, hit black ice and lost control. Rolled over a couple of times. No major injuries but really thought that was it, I was going to die.
Oh, and being stalked by a puma in Argentina at night earlier this year was pretty scary too. Lucky we spotted it in time, and the guy we were with had a gun to scare it off...

finno

6th wrote: »

That reminds me of the story about you and the sheep.

hahaha i spit my tea out laughing

Michellenman

I got trapped in the toilets in Trabolgan when I was about five. I was only in there for 5 minutes but it felt like an eternity.

Maybe not as near death as some of you but you weren't there, I was petrified!!

finno

Michellenman wrote: »

I got trapped in the toilets in Trabolgan when I was about five. I was only in there for 5 minutes but it felt like an eternity.

Maybe not as near death as some of you but you weren't there, I was petrified!!

Was George Michael in there too

gal'allthe'way

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

I was kidnapped by FARC and thought i was gonna get shot

Ohh no... i was going to go to cuba with my boyfriend, but im not going now. so is it really that bad that i cant go?
i dont want to get shot by terrorists on a holiday.

what do i say if i run into them. i know karate, will that help!

HalloweenJack

I nearly got knocked down by a double-decker before.

I was going to cross the road. I looked left and there was a bus coming but it was well down the road. I looked right and there was a van just passing by so I stepped into the road. Next thing, the bus was right on top of me. Luckily, the driver slammed on the breaks and I ran across the road.

No flashes of my life. No white lights. No other NDE experiences.

Neamhshuntasach

galalltheway wrote: »

Ohh no... i was going to go to cuba with my boyfriend, but im not going now. so is it really that bad that i cant go?
i dont want to get shot by terrorists on a holiday.

what do i say if i run into them. i know karate, will that help!

Farc are in Iceland and even at that they are only in remote areas. In fact they only hide in deep crevices. They're a great bunch of lads all the same.

Riddle101

Almost drowned twice once when i was at a Swimming Pool in Portuagal and the other was in the sea, again in Portugal

Frisbee

Was climbing the tree in my Nan's front garden when I was ten or so.
Grabbed a branch and went to swing to the next one only to discover the branch I was holding was rotten through and crumbled in my hand.
Fell about eight feet and smashed the back of my head against the corner of a pillar.
Cracked my skull and burst open an artery.
And all I could care about was that I had ruined my favorite white t-shirt....

Tom65

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

Farc are in Iceland and even at that they are only in remote areas. In fact they only hide in deep crevices. They're a great bunch of lads all the same.

Marvellous

gal'allthe'way

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

Farc are in Iceland and even at that they are only in remote areas. In fact they only hide in deep crevices. They're a great bunch of lads all the same.

thats ok because im not going to iceland, south pole is too far to get a plane

UnitedIrishman

Closest I've been to death so far was as part of a school trip to an adventure centre. As part of our activities, we were told to make a raft out of a few empty plastic barrels, some rope and some wood. Our mission would then be to row out to a point and row back again. Me being one of the rowing gang, all went smoothly for about 3 metres into the deep water and then whe raft just flipped on top of me. My three comrades got back on whilst I was trapped under the raft swallowing half the lake because my life jacket was stopping me from going further under the water in order to escape. Luckily enough one of the lads finally copped that I was missing and grabbed me from under the raft. I was in shock for ****ing ages after it. Definitely thought I'd copped it.

Vertakill

Was driving along M50 at about 70mph in torrential rain, when a large handrailing dropped from the bridge above meand landed about a metre directly in front of my car. Swerved and avoided it, luckily.

Steve_o

Vertakill wrote: »

Was driving along M50 at about 70mph in torrential rain, when a large handrailing dropped from the bridge above meand landed about a metre directly in front of my car. Swerved and avoided it, luckily.

Did it fall or did someone lob it over the side!

Vertakill

Still have no idea - could be road works, badly fitted, knackers messing... Rang M50 maintenance crew and the managed answered and was very apologetic, naturally enough. Considering if I'd been going a little quicker it would've landed in the windscreen.