Near Death Experiences.

Pighead · 22-07-2008 09:06AM #1

Have you had any? Pighead had one back in 1985 the week after his 8th birthday and the very day when Bob Geldof was saving the world. It was raining and a young impetuous Pighead was speeding down a hill on his week old BMX.

Came to an intersection in the road, pulled the breaks and NOTHING! The rain and the cheap brake cable had conspired to ensure the bike wasn't for stopping. 3 2 1 and BANG. Pighead went arse over foot, spinning through the air like a well struck David Beckham free kick. The red van connected well.

Now naysayers like 6th and and his paranormal cronies will tell Pighead that he didn't have a near death experience, that it was in fact just a minor road accident..They'll say that to have a near death experience you must experience lights and tunnels and whispering ghosts. But thats just confusing matters. A near death experience does exactly what it says on the tin. It's an experience that nearly kills you. Getting hit by a speeding van when on a childs bike qualifies in the near death experience stakes in Pigheads eyes so stick that in your pipe paranormal geeks.

Don't remember much but can vividly remember Feed The World playing on a continuous loop inside the old cranium. Can also remember the smell of old people, probably because there was loads of old people around. There always is at a crash scene. Old people love tragedies.

So have you had any Near Death Experiences?

hussey · 22-07-2008 09:37AM

I went to Tallaght once

Irishcrx · 22-07-2008 09:41AM

Yep , about 3 years ago I was driving home and I was stupidly driving too fast as it was 3 am, was doing about 110 mph and I dropped a smoke on my lap next thing I knew I had hit the curb which send my car 8 feet in and air hurling towards a tree , I managed to spin it when she hit the ground but went tearing through a railings which stopped me about a foot in front of the tree had I hit that no doubt i'd have been killed, Luckily I was seriously hurt nothing I didn't recover from...thought me a harsh lesson though slow ****ing down.

Sherifu · 22-07-2008 09:42AM

I had one similar to yours Pighead; a bicycle with very bad breaks, a big hill leading onto a main road and me. Managed to turn it away from the main road and onto the hard shoulder but it was a close one. :eek:

Pighead · 22-07-2008 09:46AM

Irishcrx wrote: »

Yep , about 3 years ago I was driving home and I was stupidly driving too fast as it was 3 am, was doing about 110 mph and I dropped a smoke on my lap next thing I knew I had hit the curb which send my car 8 feet in and air hurling towards a tree , I managed to spin it when she hit the ground but went tearing through a railings which stopped me about a foot in front of the tree had I hit that no doubt i'd have been killed, Luckily I was seriously hurt nothing I didn't recover from...thought me a harsh lesson though slow ****ing down.

Would the harsh lesson there not be to wear cigarette proof trousers whilst driving. Maybe some sort of harsh acrylic material. It seems obvious to Pighead that it was the cigarette that caused the spinning of you and your car. Anyway delighted to hear you survived. Did you see any bright flashing ghostly lights?

Irishcrx · 22-07-2008 09:48AM

No pighead i'm afraid not, I dind't see my life flash either all i remember is having the time while in mid air to say..."Bolox" but a few mins later I seen flashing blue lights....they weren't angels though..

Dave! · 22-07-2008 09:51AM

Irishcrx wrote: »

Luckily I was seriously hurt

A glutton for punishment?

Haven't had any near death experiences really, but came close to disaster on a few occassions, usually when driving.

One time I was on the M50 when my eyes kind of closed for a second (I was apparantly tired), and I opened them to find myself swerving towards the barrier :eek: That coulda been bad. I spent the rest of the journey going about 10 kmph while I tried to stop sweating and restore my heart-rate to normal.

Magpie! · 22-07-2008 09:52AM

I fell in a cattle trough full of water when i was 2. I have no memory of it but my father is still traumatised. He's not good in a crisis, he saw it happen and just froze for a few seconds. :eek:

Neamhshuntasach · 22-07-2008 09:52AM

Quite a few actually by your defintion.

I was kidnapped by FARC and thought i was gonna get shot when i was told to kneel down and had a gun pointed at the back of my head. I thought they were actually paramilitaries and that the big red star on my back would deem me a socialist. Ended up saving me in the end.

I was also on a bus in Costa Rica that plumeted off the side of a mountain. Tumbled down the hill and into a lagoon. Don't know how i survived that one. I was pulled out unconscious. Nobody died though.

And once me and a mate had an experience with a black bear when camping in california. Luckily my mate was a yank and knew that shouting at them would scare them off. Later found out that black bears don't really attack humans so maybe not as near death as i first thought.

Then i've had the usual getting knocked down. One was by a bus.

I'm like a fu<king cat

Beruthiel · 22-07-2008 09:57AM

While coming off my motorbike, two thoughts went through my mind.
"Oh Sh!t!"
and
"Well, I had a great life"

Steve_o · 22-07-2008 10:01AM

It wasn't exactly near death tbh but the closest i've experienced. I fancied myself as Spiderman as a kid, and decided to scale a large tree, There was a swing rope on it, and I decided to (try) swing from this tree back down to the safety of the ground....it failed... I held the rope for the first half a second, then my grip went I fell about 15 feet into a heap on the ground.... was very dazed for a while and busted up my ankle real bad, and to make things worse Green Goblin got away with Mary-Jane!!!:D

Pighead · 22-07-2008 10:08AM

Beruthiel wrote: »

While coming off my motorbike, two thoughts went through my mind.
"Oh Sh!t!"
and
"Well, I had a great life"

Motorbike? You drive a motorbike? Pighead supposes that you would have to wear some sort of leather apparell whilst riding said motorbike.

If Pighead were to imagine a reconstruction of your accident in his head would the following picture be an accurate representation of you in the immediate aftermath of teh crash?
http://www.annefletcher.com/images/storm.jpg

Just wondering like. It's good to get these things straight in your head.

22-07-2008 10:11AM

This post has been deleted.

Quazzie · 22-07-2008 10:23AM

Back in 98 after dropping my debs tucks into the local town I met a tractor road. I was only driving a short while so naively decided to drive straight past the well lit up tractor, unfortunately for me the slurry tank he was towing wasn't so well lit up and was about two foot wider than the tractor. Can't remember the bang. Just remember waking up in a ditch with a 1.0 litre daihatsu charade engine sitting where my leg used to be and then feeling down along my leg only to cut myself on my thigh bone sticking out through the side. Waiting over an hour without any medical help while the fire brigade guys cut me out was pretty sore.
Anyways, 6 months in a full leg cast and another three after it on crutches I'm pretty ok except for the flat area mid leg where my kneecap used to be and the severe scarring and muscle loss along my leg, but it is a great conversation starter when lying on beaches in Spain.

So all in all well worth it. Can't remember any angels or bright lights but certainly feel lucky to get out of it alive.

Pighead · 22-07-2008 10:28AM

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

Quite a few actually by your defintion.

I was kidnapped by FARC and thought i was gonna get shot when i was told to kneel down and had a gun pointed at the back of my head. I thought they were actually paramilitaries and that the big red star on my back would deem me a socialist. Ended up saving me in the end.

I was also on a bus in Costa Rica that plumeted off the side of a mountain. Tumbled down the hill and into a lagoon. Don't know how i survived that one. I was pulled out unconscious. Nobody died though.

And once me and a mate had an experience with a black bear when camping in california. Luckily my mate was a yank and knew that shouting at them would scare them off. Later found out that black bears don't really attack humans so maybe not as near death as i first thought.

Then i've had the usual getting knocked down. One was by a bus.

I'm like a fu<king cat

We have a winner. You do realise however that you will eventually die in a ridiculous and slightly comical manner. People like you always do.

Spending your whole lives cheating deaths in war and adventures until finally popping your clogs after slipping on a carelessly left banana skin on your kitchen floor.

AnonoBoy · 22-07-2008 10:36AM

Worked in a mortuary for 6 months. Longest and most boring near death experience of my life.

dosed · 22-07-2008 10:44AM

i once thought that it would be a good idea to swim to a pretty island that i could see. it was maybe 1km away?
got halfway when the current got me

very scarey hour.
i'm a fairly good swimmer, but Ive never put my heart and soul into it like i did that day. got swept right around the island but some how managed to get ashore at the last minute.
the whole hour i was giving it socks i dont remember thinking any thought other than '****'.

Phoole · 22-07-2008 10:46AM

I fell off a 40 foot cliff in Howth back in 1995. Still here.... have the scars to prove it.

Pighead · 22-07-2008 10:49AM

Phoole wrote: »

I fell off a 40 foot cliff in Howth back in 1995. Still here.... have the scars to prove it.

Having scars isn't really proof that you're still here. Dead people have scars too. You probably should have wrote: Still here....this post proves it.

Just a suggestion.

Dave! · 22-07-2008 11:00AM

Pighead wrote: »

Having scars isn't really proof that you're still here. Dead people have scars too. You probably should have wrote: Still here....this post proves it.

Just a suggestion.

Yeah but anybody could just log into his account and post that... especially if he has a poorly-chosen password like you have Pighead.

LouOB · 22-07-2008 11:04AM

hussey wrote: »

I went to Tallaght once

Me too
Someone pulled out a mache (er big knife) and robbed me + friends
Better da devil you know huh

LouOB · 22-07-2008 11:08AM

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

Quite a few actually by your defintion.

I was kidnapped by FARC and thought i was gonna get shot when i was told to kneel down and had a gun pointed at the back of my head. I thought they were actually paramilitaries and that the big red star on my back would deem me a socialist. Ended up saving me in the end.

I was also on a bus in Costa Rica that plumeted off the side of a mountain. Tumbled down the hill and into a lagoon. Don't know how i survived that one. I was pulled out unconscious. Nobody died though.

And once me and a mate had an experience with a black bear when camping in california. Luckily my mate was a yank and knew that shouting at them would scare them off. Later found out that black bears don't really attack humans so maybe not as near death as i first thought.

Then i've had the usual getting knocked down. One was by a bus.

I'm like a fu<king cat

If you were my friend Id NEVER go on hols with you
Actually anywhere

Please check your back for painted target sign:p

Pighead · 22-07-2008 11:10AM

Dave! wrote: »

Yeah but anybody could just log into his account and post that... especially if he has a poorly-chosen password like you have Pighead.

Pighead's password is bombproof Dave! (Whats with the exclamation mark by the way? it sort of implies surprise but you're here most days so that kind of negates any "Oh look it's Dave" moments.). Theres letters numbers and even symbols involved. Some of which aren't even on regular keyboards.

Anti · 22-07-2008 11:21AM

Got electructed as a kid. Went to tie my shoe lace and stod up touching a lamp post. Apparently there was a live wire touching off the inside, my dad had to hit me with a sweeping brush to get me off it.

Also had a extreme allergy to a dust mite living in saudi arabia, was in hospital for 3 months.

Not quite as exciting as the bloke who should have been dead multiple times !

Dave! · 22-07-2008 11:33AM

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead's password is bombproof Dave!

Liar! It's clearly not bombproof

See what I did there?

Pighead wrote: »

(Whats with the exclamation mark by the way? it sort of implies surprise but you're here most days so that kind of negates any "Oh look it's Dave" moments.)

It's more for emphasis than surprise Pighead. In your head, when you see my name, I want you to be thinking "Dave!" rather than "Dave?" or even plain old "Dave" (actually that's not true, I wanted it to be Dave, but some other c*nt already has it

)

Pighead wrote: »

Theres letters numbers and even symbols involved. Some of which aren't even on regular keyboards.

Now there's an idea... I wonder if gmail accepts Arabic letters as a password? :eek:

Oh another near-death thing.... I decided a few years ago that it would be a good idea to warm up my butter knife on the heating coil in the toaster. Turns out it wasn't. Thank god for fuses! :eek:

Pighead · 22-07-2008 11:42AM

Dave! wrote: »

Oh another near-death thing.... I decided a few years ago that it would be a good idea to warm up my butter knife on the heating coil in the toaster. Turns out it wasn't. Thank god for fuses! :eek:

If you were surrounded by people who had a deep knowledge of fusebox manufacturers then it would have been the ideal opportunity to make a singing related joke about your near death experience.

But you'd have to wait until the next day otherwise it wouldn't really work. You see there's a fuse thats called an EJ Fuse.
http://www.swgr.com/products/FUSEHI_55-118.asp

So next time it happens start singing "Last night an EJ saved my life."

Dave! · 22-07-2008 11:54AM

Electricity-related jokes eh? I'll give that a shot

Anyways back on topic death and stuff rabble rabble rabble

6th · 22-07-2008 11:55AM

Anti wrote: »

my dad had to hit me with a sweeping brush to get me off it.

That reminds me of the story about you and the sheep.

dee8839 · 22-07-2008 12:03PM

My 8 year old self was majorly unlucky...

Neither of these were, I suppose, near-death but it damn well felt like it at the time!

Playing in the round bales with a friend, yes, I am a farmer, I stumbled upon a stupid wasps nest. 53 stings including ones just under each eye. I was 8. I haven't been stung once since. I'm told I was only a few away from going into anaphalactic shock (I doubt this). That doesn't sound fun so said I wouldn't chance repeating that fun experience.

Soon after, Tralee Aquadome, decided to go around the rapids despite a fear of the current and an inability to reach the floor of the pool. That lifeguard saved my life. I'll never look at a red life ring with anything but respect again!

After those fun times, Mum kept me indoors for a while, until the whole luck thing turned around for me.

Neamhshuntasach · 22-07-2008 12:09PM

LouOB wrote: »

If you were my friend Id NEVER go on hols with you
Actually anywhere

Please check your back for painted target sign:p

I've a few mates going away with me for a few years soon enough. God help them.

When you travel as much as i do stuff is bound to happen to you more than someone who stays at home. I've come across people with worse stories.

Terry · 22-07-2008 12:12PM

A couple of car crashes, a few bicycle accidents, an OD, a couple of guns pointed at my head (don't know if they were loaded).
None of those were as scary as the time a 3-4 foot wide branch fell from a tree and landed no more than two feet in front of me though.

Near Death Experiences.

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