Do men like being asked out? (part deux)

LegacyUser

On this topic - what about a girl at work asking you out? new(ish) guy at work who I quite like. I was on holidays and he's there a while since I got back so say 8-9 weeks at this stage. Ended up having loads of conversations with him just randomly in the hall or the kitchen or whatever (different department and its a big office). Unsure how to broach this as it's been very much nice weather; plans for weekend etc type conversations.

minidazzler

I would personally love if a Girl asked me out. Especially if I had already had a Few Conversations with her.

Make sure he has no GF and then go for it. You may as well.

SnowMonkey

be direct and just say hey have your useual convo and if all goes good say something like would you like to come for a drink with me after work ?

bennyblanco

yeah I'd be delighted too,the pair of you sound like you get on so why not?
Nothing ventured,nothing gained
Good luck with it

Keano

Just try and find out if he is in a relationship and if he is not then go for it.

AARRRGH

I don't think it's the best option.

At the next drinks out (or arrange some yourself), get drunk with him, and get him to stay out late. When you're both drunk and dancing, flirt like crazy until you start kissing...

Sprouts

Don't worry about asking a fella out, it would be a welcomed surprise. Ireland can be a bit backward I think, as in girls afraid to do this.

*Derek*

I know i'd certainly like it. Then they can pay for meal cinema drinks etc lol

limpdd

swirlyme wrote: »

On this topic - what about a girl at work asking you out?

Go for it, alot of guys like it, I know I do

Overheal

good idea, but leave mind altering substances out of it.

Sprouts

Overheal wrote: »

good idea, but leave mind altering substances out of it.

Mind altering substance = women
Women are like kryptonite to men.
Truth be told, we cant live without them (women).
Hell yeah, let them ask you out.

MIN2511

Op done this myself, i didn't know he had a gf... Was unbearable after he told me bout her, i wanted the ground to swallow me. That said why not try what dublindude suggested(make sure he's single though) less akwardness after

MagicMarker

Something i've noticed is that people in relationships mention their other half in their conversations quite often..

I'd say bring up an excuse for him to mention a possible gf, ask him what he did at the weekeend, ask him if he has any holidays coming up.. Even mention the fact that you're single, us men are idiots. If you make it blatantly obvious then he may ask you out.

**** it, ask him if he's got a girlfriend!!! If he says yes, then just continue on the conversation as normal.

If he says no, ask him if he wants one.

Wibbs

Men women, its all pretty much the same thing. If he/she fancies you and they're single they'll say yes and be flattered. If they don't fancy you, well they're ego is increased, so they're still flattered. Either way you went for what you wanted.

MJOR

As a girl I'd make sure to do a background check and make sure he has no significant other.

Then go for it!

Alarums

I would think a woman asking a men out would have a much higher chance of success than a man asking a woman out. It's such a rare thing to happen in this country.

IrishMike

Ask him!
Dear God men love this sort of thing!

AARRRGH

IrishMike wrote: »

Ask him!
Dear God men love this sort of thing!

Not all of them.

What if she's ugly?

What if he has a girlfriend, says no, and then she goes all weird?

I would not like it if a work colleague asked me out.

(Note: I'm not a nerd. I don't know if this makes a difference.)

Wibbs

They're pretty much the same risks guys take though. I would agree with the work thing. Has to be very carefully handled. No chance of avoidance if it goes pear shaped.

cournioni

I'm flattered whenever a woman asks me out to be honest. Go for it.

katie08

I think the point to note here is that if things do go pear shaped & this guy starts gossiping to other male collegues, you could be put in a vulnerable position ie: made to look desperate.
Where as if a man asked a woman out in the office it would be looked highly upon by his male collegues.... in nature the male pursues the female... best to keep it that way...

ZiabR

I am not having a go at you for your comment but:

I think the point to note here is that if things do go pear shaped & this guy starts gossiping to other male collegues, you could be put in a vulnerable position ie: made to look desperate.

Why is it people always focus on the negative sides of a possible outcome? I mean people always say what if it dosent work?, what if I look like a fool?

Stop for a second and think, what if it goes great? Now I mean you are already stopping to chat on a regular basis in the hallway etc so that would be a positive sign in my eyes.

Where as if a man asked a woman out in the office it would be looked highly upon by his male collegues.... in nature the male pursues the female... best to keep it that way...

This is the problem with today’s society in my opinion. What I mean is, what is classed as socially acceptable. What is wrong with a woman asking a man out? Just because it may not seem common practice, does not mean its not right to do it. You seem to get on well with him from what I make out of the situation so I highly doubt he will go running off telling the lads and making you look like a fool.

I would have no problem if a woman asked me out, I say go for it and don’t think too much about it, just do it.

MIN2511

dublindude wrote: »

Not all of them.

What if she's ugly?

What if he has a girlfriend, says no, and then she goes all weird?

I would not like it if a work colleague asked me out.

(Note: I'm not a nerd. I don't know if this makes a difference.)

You are a NERD!:D

True about the ugly thing...

tbh, try the work night out and get drunk and go for a kiss... if it works out then good one if not move on

Creamy Goodness

dublindude wrote: »

What if she's ugly?

you can say no.

dublindude wrote: »

What if he has a girlfriend, says no, and then she goes all weird?

something totally out of your control

dublindude wrote: »

I would not like it if a work colleague asked me out.

yes that would be a pickle indeed.

dublindude wrote: »

(Note: I'm not a nerd. I don't know if this makes a difference.)

on an interweb forum nerds don't exist

on the topic of being asked out why should it be left to the men.

for so long women have fighted for voting rights/equal pay/etc. why not fight for the right for it to be socially acceptable to ask a guy out

sunnyside

dublindude wrote: »

I don't think it's the best option.

At the next drinks out (or arrange some yourself), get drunk with him, and get him to stay out late. When you're both drunk and dancing, flirt like crazy until you start kissing...

While I think this would definitely work I have so much more respect for someone who has the courage/confidence to tell me they like me and ask me if I'd like to go out sometime while sober.

DD

PORNAPSTER wrote: »

I'm flattered whenever a woman asks me out to be honest. Go for it.

Would you be flattered if I am asking you out?
joking of course


I think men like to be asked out by women, especially when the woman is very good looking, because they don't have the courage to ask her out. I have seen my friends, no...she's beautiful, I am pretty sure she has someone blablabla
You never know until you ask.
Don't be afraid to do what you would like to do. If you get a negative answer it is not that bad.
And it was never a rule who asks someone out...

DD

dublindude wrote: »

I don't think it's the best option.

At the next drinks out (or arrange some yourself), get drunk with him, and get him to stay out late. When you're both drunk and dancing, flirt like crazy until you start kissing...

Are you saying this because it happened to you ?

flirt like crazy until you start kissing -- should be lot of drinks involved :P

AARRRGH

DD wrote: »

Are you saying this because it happened to you ?

flirt like crazy until you start kissing -- should be lot of drinks involved :P

No, I just think it is uncommon for women to ask men out, and people sometimes react weirdly to uncommon things...

I think a more subtle approach would be better, especially as this is a work colleague.

Also, personally, I think a girl flirting and getting physically close is a lot sexier than "do you want to go out with me sometime".

DD

dublindude wrote: »

I think a more subtle approach would be better, especially as this is a work colleague.
Also, personally, I think a girl flirting and getting physically close is a lot sexier than "do you want to go out with me sometime".

To be honest I agree with you. Flirting at work is fun but it is a bit dangerous.
I know the good case, two colleagues in work flirted for a while and after few months they moved together and now they are married.
To be honest I liked them more when they were flirting. Was fun for everyone cos we were keeping an eye on them entire day .

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies - some more useful than others

Dublin Dude: Two points - A) I'm far from ugly and b) I don't think a work night out when either party is likely to be plied with alcohol is a good move as many awkward scenarios could ensue the following monday.

I'd rather suggest something subtle like coffee somewhere nearby (less formal than lunch) and see how we get on in neutral ground. Bit unsure about all this as the working together factor is always a complicator.

Re: sussing out the girlfriend - hard to do so without being painfully obvious; asked what he did at the weekend and apparently he was surfing in the west so no clues there!

Creamy Goodness

ask where he's living in relation to work.

if he says he's renting, ask who with (when he says where say ohh really that's cool who with, college friends/friends?). be subtle about it though you may not find out if he has a gf or not but at least you'll be narrowing it down and also making good conversation

Alarums

katie08 wrote: »

I think the point to note here is that if things do go pear shaped & this guy starts gossiping to other male collegues, you could be put in a vulnerable position ie: made to look desperate.
Where as if a man asked a woman out in the office it would be looked highly upon by his male collegues.... in nature the male pursues the female... best to keep it that way...

That doesn't exactly promote equality between the sexes. Also, any man who asks a woman out at his workplace and gets shot down will most certainly not be looked upon highly by his male colleagues, he would be ridiculed by them.

RedXIV

katie08 wrote: »

I think the point to note here is that if things do go pear shaped & this guy starts gossiping to other male collegues, you could be put in a vulnerable position ie: made to look desperate.
Where as if a man asked a woman out in the office it would be looked highly upon by his male collegues.... in nature the male pursues the female... best to keep it that way...

I'm sorry now but this annoys me. I've stood by this philosophy a long time now but you can either have equality between the sexes or chivalry. Asking for both can't work. Chivalry has never promoted equality. If you believe that the male must pursue the female then fair enough, but if you believe this medieval system, you better be prepared to accept all the concequences.

If you are afraid what other people might think, you need to concentrate on your own issues instead of waiting around to be asked.

sorry about bit of a rant there, but bit of a pet peeve of mine

mosfo

dublindude wrote: »

I don't think it's the best option.

At the next drinks out (or arrange some yourself), get drunk with him, and get him to stay out late. When you're both drunk and dancing, flirt like crazy until you start kissing...

the classic moves never die

AARRRGH

swirlyme wrote: »

Dublin Dude: Two points - A) I'm far from ugly and b) I don't think a work night out when either party is likely to be plied with alcohol is a good move as many awkward scenarios could ensue the following monday.

I think if you handle it right, there wouldn't be any problems.

Anyway, my point is there are better indirect ways to let him know you like him.

chris_oc

Alarums wrote: »

That doesn't exactly promote equality between the sexes. Also, any man who asks a woman out at his workplace and gets shot down will most certainly not be looked upon highly by his male colleagues, he would be ridiculed by them.

+1
Nothin' wrong with a girl asking a lad out.

Go for it in a subtle way that may not even be that clear to him that he's being asked out! ie don't say "would you like to go out with me sometime?" instead something like, "I heard that there's this new coffee shop opening around the corner next monday and im thinking of going for a coffee during the break, fancy coming along?". BTW that was just an example, dont say that theres a coffee shop opening around the corner if there isnt, thats just silly;):p
best of luck!

Pen1987

Yes, very much so. If they are attracted to you. I personally find that confidence sexy.


No. If they are not attracted to you.