Dating websites

deebee08

I have a question....does anyone believe that all these dating websites really work?? Or are they just full of weirdos? I joined one recently and was sceptical to start with but am seriously starting to lose faith here!! :rolleyes:

dr.bollocko

ma?

LadyE

I dunno...have never tried tbh

deebee08

dr.bollocko wrote: »

ma?

no it's not ur ma!! :eek::D

Aspiration

My housemates friend tried maybefriends.com and she went on 2 dates. The first guy was nice but there was nothing there. The second guy she's going out with now.

I suppose it eliminates the whole "friends first" scenario and goes straight to the point.

I've never tried it though tbh, but it does seem to work for some people. Best of luck!

Sherifu

deebee08 wrote: »

I have a question....does anyone believe that all these dating websites really work?? Or are they just full of weirdos? I joined one recently and was sceptical to start with but am seriously starting to lose faith here!! :rolleyes:

Sounds good, what happened?

deebee08

Sherifu wrote: »

Sounds good, what happened?

As I said in my first post, they're just weirdos!! Havent actually gone on a date with any but that's because from the brief converstions with any of them, they're not people I'd like to go on a date with!

Are there any nice normal guys out there who arent in a relationship/married/gay??????

BubbleWrap85

I'm on one and whilst there are a few weirdos on there [no more than you'd meet in the pub though!] there are some genuine people also. It does eliminate the whole awkward part because you both are there [supposedly] for dates and the likes, but some are just looking for someone to hang out with, others looking for "an activity partner" [whatever that means ] and others are looking for longterm. Can I ask what site you joined? I'm on okcupid.

faceman

There are weirdos in the pub, in the supermarkets, in the queue in front and behind you.

So i imagine it all evens out.

then again, maybe the Op is a weirdo! :eek:

deebee08

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

others looking for "an activity partner" [whatever that means ]

There's a first..never heard that before!!

and others are looking for longterm. Can I ask what site you joined? I'm on okcupid.

I joined MSN's match.com website, dont think I'll be paying for another months membership with them tho!

Steve_o

Never tried it tbh, but can't see how there would be a high success rate with them!

jasonb

I used Maybefriends a few years ago, found it quite good to be honest.

There are people you don't get on with everywhere in life, and dating sites have their fair share. There are also a lot of genuine, nice people on those sites as well.

As someone who doesn't drink, I found using a dating site a lot more helpful for me then going to a pub, drinking a lot of coke, hoping to meet someone who wouldn't get so drunk that they'd forget me the next day...

As with everything, you get out of it what you put into it. I'd give any site a couple of months at least, if you find that there's no-one you're clicking with at all, then maybe that site isn't for you. I got quite a few dates out of MaybeFriends and while I consider myself a decent bloke, I'm no-one's dream guy!

As already said, one advantage with dating sites is that you know where you stand ( if you and the other person are genuine ) and if you seem to click online by swapping messages etc. then the next logical step is a date. If there are just no sparks there when you meet, you're both able to say 'nah, sorry, it's just not there'. Another advantage of course is that you only go out on dates with people that you already think you might click with based on your message / chats with each other, so there's more chance of the date being successful.

Just my 2c worth...

J.

BubbleWrap85

jasonb wrote: »

I used Maybefriends a few years ago, found it quite good to be honest.

There are people you don't get on with everywhere in life, and dating sites have their fair share. There are also a lot of genuine, nice people on those sites as well.

As someone who doesn't drink, I found using a dating site a lot more helpful for me then going to a pub, drinking a lot of coke, hoping to meet someone who wouldn't get so drunk that they'd forget me the next day...

As with everything, you get out of it what you put into it. I'd give any site a couple of months at least, if you find that there's no-one you're clicking with at all, then maybe that site isn't for you. I got quite a few dates out of MaybeFriends and while I consider myself a decent bloke, I'm no-one's dream guy!

As already said, one advantage with dating sites is that you know where you stand ( if you and the other person are genuine ) and if you seem to click online by swapping messages etc. then the next logical step is a date. If there are just no sparks there when you meet, you're both able to say 'nah, sorry, it's just not there'. Another advantage of course is that you only go out on dates with people that you already think you might click with based on your message / chats with each other, so there's more chance of the date being successful.

Just my 2c worth...

J.

I agree with you. You can tell by chatting to someone whether you've any interest or not. You can then progress to texting or phone calls and the likes. And using webcams to ensure there's no mix up about what they look like! I met a nice guy [so I thought] and we really clicked before we met. Met him, we kissed, but he decided he just wanted to be friends after so that was fine with me. He lived too far away anyway. I used to think that it was all weirdos, but I'm not a weirdo [!] and I'm on it so I figured it can't be too bad!!

nocal

I think that you do need a bit of a thick skin when using the dating websites. It is so easy to let the weirdos put you off.
The other thing to bear in mind is this whole typing thing - very easy to be mis-understood or to offend someone, whereas if you you were talking to them in real life you might pick up that mischievous glint in their eye.
I have used a few of the sites over the last few years and will probably use them again -just in case there is someone on them for me.

I mean after all, when you have all this - I so should not be single:D

Disco Stu

no point paying for one, go on plentyoffish.com its free and then if it doesn't work out you're not out of pocket...

think problem with them, as I have tried it, is that your first impression of someone online and when you actually meet them can be so very different... so becomes very hit and miss although i did meet one really nice girl on it who i was seeing for a while... so you can get lucky with it...!

jasonb

You're right, it's good to use the site fully, get to know someone a bit, progress to texts and phonecalls etc. before meeting. It means that when you do meet, you should both know that you've got something in common, and while you might not end up in each other's arms, you should have a nice date at least!

Webcam is a good idea too, or even just swap some decent photos. While it might be terribly shallow, looks are important ( you don't have to be universally recognised as drop dead gorgeous, but it does help if the other person at least thinks you're cute! ). Nine times out of ten when you meet someone for the first time in a pub or whatever, it's how they look that attracted you to them. Dating sites give you a chance to see how they look ( once again assuming everyone's honest with their pics etc. ) as well as getting to know them a bit before you meet up...

J.

deebee08

jasonb wrote: »

You're right, it's good to use the site fully, get to know someone a bit, progress to texts and phonecalls etc. before meeting. It means that when you do meet, you should both know that you've got something in common, and while you might not end up in each other's arms, you should have a nice date at least!

Webcam is a good idea too, or even just swap some decent photos. While it might be terribly shallow, looks are important ( you don't have to be universally recognised as drop dead gorgeous, but it does help if the other person at least thinks you're cute! ). Nine times out of ten when you meet someone for the first time in a pub or whatever, it's how they look that attracted you to them. Dating sites give you a chance to see how they look ( once again assuming everyone's honest with their pics etc. ) as well as getting to know them a bit before you meet up...

J.

Defo agree with you about the looks thing! I'm not a shallow person by any means but there has to be some physical attraction there for something to happen in the first place!! The amount of people on dating websites that dont put up their picture is unreal......I wonder if many of them actually get replies!! :rolleyes:

BubbleWrap85

I wouldnt reply to anyone without a picture. Everyone has ways and means of putting up pictures nowadays and if they dont have at least 2 or 3 pictures up I'd be wary. I'd also want to see them on webcam as I think I'm ok looking in pictures but don't know if that reflects reality! Meeting someone for the first time after talking for a while makes it somewhat easier as you know their humour and can make jokes accordingly!

nocal

Personally I have never understood the whole "must put up a picture thing" - sure, definitely exchange pictures before meeting. Best date I ever went on was blind (though she had seen a picture of me) and ended up having a reasonable relationship out of it.

And sure there are people on these sites hiding (from wives or girlfriends) - but it is the same as meeting someone in the pub - you can tell farily easily if they have something to hide or not.

metamorphic

Seeing alot of these on here lately, the aul testing the water with dating websites, who's single on boards, lonely workaholics on PI, and as always stated boards.ie isn't a dating website

soo, I reckon we should settle on a dating site that all us boardsie can hit up, maybe put it in your profile somewhere your boards id? not that using this forum makes you any way sane, maybe the opposite. but there's been a lot of skirting around it while trying not to straight out say "hey I'm single, anyone on here interested?"

maybe this should be split off to a seperate thread with a poll? get some sort of consensus. Hope I'm not breaching any boards rules, but dating websites seem to get named directly without any fuss.

BubbleWrap85

metamorphic wrote: »

Seeing alot of these on here lately, the aul testing the water with dating websites, who's single on boards, lonely workaholics on PI, and as always stated boards.ie isn't a dating website

soo, I reckon we should settle on a dating site that all us boardsie can hit up, maybe put it in your profile somewhere your boards id? not that using this forum makes you any way sane, maybe the opposite. but there's been a lot of skirting around it while trying not to straight out say "hey I'm single, anyone on here interested?"

maybe this should be split off to a seperate thread with a poll? get some sort of consensus. Hope I'm not breaching any boards rules, but dating websites seem to get named directly without any fuss.

Okcupid, same boards user id, check

Disco Stu

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

I wouldnt reply to anyone without a picture. Everyone has ways and means of putting up pictures nowadays and if they dont have at least 2 or 3 pictures up I'd be wary. I'd also want to see them on webcam as I think I'm ok looking in pictures but don't know if that reflects reality! Meeting someone for the first time after talking for a while makes it somewhat easier as you know their humour and can make jokes accordingly!

+1

no pic no reply either... no point to be honest...!! Might seem shallow but initially there has to be a physical attraction and then the personality attraction gets added to it...! getting the two is tough though haha!!

CPT. SURF

Surely Myspace or Facebook work better than dating sites? Not that I've tried any of them but at least with the social networking sites you can get a really good feel for what the person might be like before talking to them.

sullivk

I'm on plentyoffish, I've mainly come across weirdos or guys looking for teh sex :eek:
However, I have got chatting to a few nice, funny, genuine guys. Haven't met up with anyone as of yet, suppose I'm just a wee bit shy

I think it may work for some but it's not for everyone!

elmyra

Disco Stu wrote: »

no point paying for one, go on plentyoffish.com its free and then if it doesn't work out you're not out of pocket...

think problem with them, as I have tried it, is that your first impression of someone online and when you actually meet them can be so very different... so becomes very hit and miss although i did meet one really nice girl on it who i was seeing for a while... so you can get lucky with it...!

Qft. My housemate is dating a guy she met on plentyoffish. They've been seeing each other for a couple of months. He appears pretty normal to me...

truecrippler

*Joins dating website*

So what if the someone you meet is a weirdo, isn't it a story to tell.

BraziliaNZ

I would imagine most of the bearded, glasses wearing, pony tail wielding, heavy metal t-shirt sporting, IT working nerds on this website met their American girlfriends online, I'm not sure it works with Irish girls though

hussey

If in a pub/club, you get chatted up by some weirdo/d*ckhead,
you usually walk away and call him a weirdo to your friends, but yet, you would have no problem talking chatting to other strangers in pub

on the web you meet a weirdo online and it's "Oh my god this dating site is full of weirdos, I'll never use it again"

BraziliaNZ

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I would imagine most of the bearded, glasses wearing, pony tail wielding, heavy metal t-shirt sporting, IT working nerds on this website met their American girlfriends online, I'm not sure it works with Irish girls though

Says the guy who pays for his pleasure.

Disco Stu

Disco Stu wrote: »

no point paying for one, go on plentyoffish.com its free and then if it doesn't work out you're not out of pocket...

I wouldn't really agree in that sense. I believe that if it's free it's bound to be abused by people looking for a laugh whereas if you go on somewhere that charges a fee that should eliminate at least some of the muppets.

BraziliaNZ

Are there seriously attractive women on it? Surely if a girl is any way decent looking they get hit on by all kinds of men wherever they go? Can they not just stand around bars until they meet someone they like? I mean not ALL blokes in bars are drunk/morons/looking for one thing. That's why I never understood girls using them... unless they're not easy on the eye.

BraziliaNZ

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Are there seriously attractive women on it? Surely if a girl is any way decent looking they get hit on by all kinds of men wherever they go? Can they not just stand around bars until they meet someone they like? I mean not ALL blokes in bars are drunk/morons/looking for one thing. That's why I never understood girls using them... unless they're not easy on the eye.

Good point. I've never gone as far as using a dating website but I was thinking the same thing.

hussey

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Are there seriously attractive women on it? Surely if a girl is any way decent looking they get hit on by all kinds of men wherever they go? Can they not just stand around bars until they meet someone they like? I mean not ALL blokes in bars are drunk/morons/looking for one thing. That's why I never understood girls using them... unless they're not easy on the eye.

Maybe that is the point??
To NOT be hit on by guys in bars?
the guys you described as above don't always hit on girls, until they have enough dutch courage!

BraziliaNZ

oh come on I've lived with many single girls and currently with 2 girls and another guy and when we all go out the girls always at least snog someone or get phone numbers, if not take a guy home, whereas me and my male flatmate have to make a real effort approaching girls etc.! From my experience sharing with single girls, they get a hell of a lot more action than your average bloke these days.

hussey

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

oh come on I've lived with many single girls and currently with 2 girls and another guy and when we all go out the girls always at least snog someone or get phone numbers, if not take a guy home, whereas me and my male flatmate have to make a real effort approaching girls etc.! From my experience sharing with single girls, they get a hell of a lot more action than your average bloke these days.

Oh 100% agree, but you put all girls in that category, I am saying not every good looking girl wants to go to a bar to pick up.

so if you didn't go to a bar/club ... where would you pick up?

BraziliaNZ

me? well the last few girls have all been through friends, I think back home it was easier to meet girls in bars for some reason but it's not the same down here, I am but a dirty foreigner to them.

Explosive_Cornflake

LadyE wrote: »

I dunno...have never tried tbh

Reminds me of I think it was Jasper Carrott routine about a phone in opinion poll.
X amount of people phoned in to say they were in favour.
Y amount to say against.
Z amount phoned in to say they weren't sure.
People actually rang upto say they didn't know.

hussey

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

me? well the last few girls have all been through friends, I think back home it was easier to meet girls in bars for some reason but it's not the same down here, I am but a dirty foreigner to them.

Yeah, since I came to Oz, I think I see the irish mentality to picking up is all around the bars/clubs. Through various friends and work friends I know around about 6 girls who have tried it.
One I would call rough, two I would call stunners.

Disco Stu

Karsini wrote: »

I wouldn't really agree in that sense. I believe that if it's free it's bound to be abused by people looking for a laugh whereas if you go on somewhere that charges a fee that should eliminate at least some of the muppets.

yeah i agree with that, I think what I was meaning, and wasn't too clear about, was that for a first time to get over the whole "online" thing it's worth looking at... if you do pay for one I'd guess you'd be more likely to find people seriously trying on it...

for a bit of free fun though :rolleyes:

anthony4335

I checked out a few of these sites, and I am a little sceptical of them. You can sign up for free, you nearly always get a message request from someone in the first day ,and when you go to reply it requires you are reuired to pay money to use this function, and I did not have a pic either. So I'm wondering if the people who run these sites employ people to attract the punter who has signed up for free to "upgrade" there account to start chatting (if I owned the company that is what i would do).

rowlandbrowner

I’ve met a healthy mix of freaks and compos mentis individuals in the bar/club scene; I would wager that online dating has a similar distribution.

BubbleWrap85

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Are there seriously attractive women on it? Surely if a girl is any way decent looking they get hit on by all kinds of men wherever they go? Can they not just stand around bars until they meet someone they like? I mean not ALL blokes in bars are drunk/morons/looking for one thing. That's why I never understood girls using them... unless they're not easy on the eye.

Wow, WTG making me feel good about myself :P I've no problem getting a snog or a phone number, it's keeping them I've trouble with :P

MissHoneyBun

Of course there are weirdos on it. But no more than you'll meet in the office, on the street, in the pub or anywhere else for that matter. The same way there are, *shock* normal, attractive guys and girls on dating sites too. And yes, I do have first hand experience before anyone asks! I think it's high time the adults of Ireland started growing up and stopped buying into outdated pre-conceived stigmas

BubbleWrap85

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

Of course there are weirdos on it. But no more than you'll meet in the office, on the street, in the pub or anywhere else for that matter. The same way there are, *shock* normal, attractive guys and girls on dating sites too. And yes, I do have first hand experience before anyone asks! I think it's high time the adults of Ireland started growing up and stopped buying into outdated pre-conceived stigmas

i'm normal [not sure about the attractive part!] so figured there would have to be same on the site from the male side!

BubbleWrap85

PS If there were any guys interested in going to the Dandy Warhols/Ash on Friday in Galway............take me take me!

ImDave

Worked well for a friend of mine. He found a great girl and have been going out for almost a year now.

truecrippler

anthony4335 wrote: »

I checked out a few of these sites, and I am a little sceptical of them. You can sign up for free, you nearly always get a message request from someone in the first day ,and when you go to reply it requires you are reuired to pay money to use this function, and I did not have a pic either. So I'm wondering if the people who run these sites employ people to attract the punter who has signed up for free to "upgrade" there account to start chatting (if I owned the company that is what i would do).

I've been on Plenty of Fish for nearly a year, had no one contact me or favourite me . I must be too damn good looking :P.

BubbleWrap85

Even I've been favourited on that thing :P Not that it means much! Was talking to a few people on it but only joined a couple of months ago!

dsmythy

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

oh come on I've lived with many single girls and currently with 2 girls and another guy and when we all go out the girls always at least snog someone or get phone numbers, if not take a guy home, whereas me and my male flatmate have to make a real effort approaching girls etc.! From my experience sharing with single girls, they get a hell of a lot more action than your average bloke these days.

That's not true though. Straight single women in the world get the same action on average as straight single men. After all it takes two to tango. Unless they're scoring themselves...

theganster

I used to be very sceptical about the whole online dating thing but I recently gave a facebook app called 'Zoosk' a go and it has been very successful for me. Took me a while to get into it and learn how to interact with the girls to get the best recults but I've never had so much fun and highly recommend it. From talking to the girls yes apparently there are a lot of weirdo guys, but me being a normal good-guy, that works out well for me :-).

It takes time and it is a numbers game, but after not long I flirting loads, getting them onto msn and I was regularily in my bedroom all evening untill 1am and 2am chatting to 2, 3 and maybe 4 firls at the same time. I've met quite a few girls now, dated a few (even 2 at once for a while!) and had a lot of fun throughout. It's a great confidence booster. They were all very pretty (I'm shallow and won't reply to swamp donkeys) but you kinda find the best looking girls don't have much to say for themselves, so best to find a happy medium.

I'm not good at chatting up random girls in bars, never been my thing, but this way its open and direct and honest. With practice I've got pretty good at online-flirting and can now go from initial contact, to getting to know each other to agreeing a date in quite a short time.

Definitely the way ahead imo. There used to be this big stigma attached to it, but that's is very quickly disappearing. At first I was keeping it secret, but after a while I started telling a few people... Now I'm happy to volunteer the story of how I meet these girls - if said with confidence almost always gets a positive reaction. I used to be the guy that scored way less than most of the lads, now I have dates lined up most weekends and doing far better with the ladies than any of the guys I know. Many of them are following suit and trying it themselves!

I highly recommend you give it a go...