Whats your opinion on men into crossdressing?

elle2

Hello everyone,

Just really curious about this.

I am a pretty normal guy in my early twenties, Into all things lad like, football, piss ups, women.

I am also into crossdressing not very lad like I know but it`s a compulsive need that I have which is deep rooted. I am not attracted to men in the slightest and I am comfortable with my sexuality.

Just want to know what women think of guys into crossdressing, does it freak you out or would you be cool with it and would you ever date a guy into crossdressing?

Someone to have fun shopping with perhaps,ha?

Thought this could make an interesting topic?

Dragan

Interesting topic I must say!

Out of interest, what is it that attracts you to crossdressing?

elle2

I think it`s the thrill of (literally) stepping into a womens world feeling what its like to be on the other side plus the clothes are so much more interesting than mens.

Its an amazing experience getting dressed head to toe en femme nothing quite like it.

Thanks for the interest

Dragan

elle2 wrote: »

I think it`s the thrill of (literally) stepping into a womens world feeling what its like to be on the other side plus the clothes are so much more interesting than mens.

Its an amazing experience getting dressed head to toe en femme nothing quite like it.

Thanks for the interest

Thanks for answering. Have you ever been to a live show of the Rocky Horror? Lots of folk make massive effort that night, and of course being the Rocky Horror it means a lot of boys in ladies clothing on the night.:pac:

Karen_*

Personally I wouldn't date a crossdresser.

However a very good friend of mine does it and my uncle is a transexual. So it doesnt' freak me out either.

elle2

I havn`t actually, I`ve heard that they are always good fun alright think they would be a bit too "In your face" for me.

I don't have anything immediately against it...I don't really know how I would feel about it.
Do you have to get dolled up to enjoy sex?

Reku

Male here (though many seem to be confused by this. lol guess my online persona must be a crossdresser - no offense intended )

If a lad just want to wear dresses, skirts, tights, bras, etc... I don't think it should really matter to the rest of us. Remember seeing a statistic stating that a very large percentage of men will at some point in their lives wear women's underwear, whether for a laugh, arousal, intimacy or whatever (who's going to know, for all I know every lad I work with could be coming in wearing his partner's panties). Throw in the fact that women now wear clothing that used to be men's clothing without anyone batting an eyelid and what does it matter what you wear. Is wearing a skirt really any different to wearing a kilt (a "tradition" that if I remember correctly was in fact only started within the last 300 years), whose to say men wearing dresses won't be a tradition 300 years from now?
I've also heard some of the emo lads will currently go out wearing skirts over their trousers, though TBH with emos it can be difficult at times to ascertain the person's gender anyway so it could just be people making a mistake.
As Dragan has said the Rocky Horror (thought that had stopped running?) tends to be a free card for crossdressing for lads, I've also heard of fetish parties where some attendies will do this. But then I see no reason why any fancy dress party wouldn't be a plausible excuse for it.


Also, in spite of the assumption some folks will make I've heard from numerous sources that most crossdressers are in fact straight, whether they do it because it's taboo, broader selection of types of outfit/colour/material, to escape from the pressures they feel are due to their being male, to explore their feminine side, etc... why do people do anything that falls outside the confines of "what is normal"?*shrugs*

I'd only wonder about a "straight" (as in he claims he is but I don't believe) lad cross dressing if he seems to be worrying whether he's passable as a woman and whether MEN are complimenting him, I have to feel when they worry about such that they're not dressing up for the sake of dressing up, they're just in closet about their sexuality. :rolleyes: As long as you're not trying to fool yourself or fool others I see no real harm in it.


If you only do it at home then simply wait until you feel you can trust the girl with this info, if she can't handle it then she's not worth your time. If you do it publicly and she's not aware of this you'd probably best let her know sooner rather than later as better she hear it from you than a mutual acquaintance who just happens to bump into you on one of your night's out. Some girls will be ok with it, I've even heard of a small proportion getting turned on by it. Personally I've had quite a females I know trying to convince me to wear womens' jeans due to my physique making finding mens' ones that fit difficult, is that really a far cry from going all out, jeans are half an outfit are they not afterall (they've yet to succeed in convincing me in case folks are interested, perhaps someday I'll have little choice when I really can't find any mens' ones to fit)? I've known a few lads who went to parties in drag and got lots of help from female friends (in one instance they were fighting over the right to help as though he were a barbie doll for them to play with), as such I can only guess that most women, as long as they are satisfied that you are completely straight and in no way wish to replace them as the female in the relationship would be ok with it.

Sherifu

Anyone seen DJ Spider?

elle2

Ive never got dolled up for sex but could be nice to try once in a while?

Some great points Farohar, but I have to say I am honestly not attracted to men in the slighest and I am very comfortable with my sexuality and cross dressing.

Anti

Sherifu wrote: »

Anyone seen DJ Spider?

Is he due to post more pics?

Clare Bear

Sure if it makes ya happy why not, you're not hurting anyone.

Clare Bear

Clare Bear wrote: »

Sure if it makes ya happy why not, you're not hurting anyone.

If your boyfriend/husband/life partner or whatever told u he was an avid crossdresser would u say that to him? Just wonderin!

Dragan

Anti wrote: »

Is he due to post more pics?

We hope not. Hopefully Cult can come up with some awesome new update to avoid such future incidents!!! :eek:

elle2

elle2 wrote: »

Ive never got dolled up for sex but could be nice to try once in a while?

Some great points Farohar, but I have to say I am honestly not attracted to men in the slighest and I am very comfortable with my sexuality and cross dressing.

Oh well then I don't see it being an issue at all.
Unless you had bad taste in clothes....your man on hollyoaks is hawt.

Catari Jaguar

I personally couldn't go out with someone who cross dressed. if I discovered my boyf was doing it I'd feel so weird, betrayed and creeped out I'd have to break up with him. Sorry.

Clare Bear

Deleted User wrote: »

If your boyfriend/husband/life partner or whatever told u he was an avid crossdresser would u say that to him? Just wonderin!

Well I'm saying it to the OP because he's single (I think?).....being honest yeah it'd freak me out. If he only did it every now and again for a laugh I wouldn't care but if it was a regular thing I'd have to think about it....it's hard to know though until you're in that situation. I mean if you're with someone and you're in love and then they turn around and tell you they're a crossdresser it'd be hard to know what to do...

In saying that I have a major thing for boys that wear eyeliner...still don't know where that came from and sadly no boy in my life will entertain the idea. Boooooooooo!

Catari Jaguar

Clare Bear wrote: »

In saying that I have a major thing for boys that wear eyeliner...still don't know where that came from and sadly no boy in my life will entertain the idea. Boooooooooo!

Kurt Cobain, Captain Jack Sparrow? *swoon*

Reku

Clare Bear wrote: »

In saying that I have a major thing for boys that wear eyeliner...still don't know where that came from and sadly no boy in my life will entertain the idea. Boooooooooo!

lol, was just pondering this the other day, the way women seem to tend to drool over what are otherwise ordinary lads simply because they wear eyeliner.

Clare Bear

Clare Bear wrote: »

Well I'm saying it to the OP because he's single (I think?).....being honest yeah it'd freak me out. If he only did it every now and again for a laugh I wouldn't care but if it was a regular thing I'd have to think about it....it's hard to know though until you're in that situation. I mean if you're with someone and you're in love and then they turn around and tell you they're a crossdresser it'd be hard to know what to do...

Yea its hard to say but its not something us lads have to worry about in fairness!

My opinion is its an odd thing to want to do. But then again, you only live once. Wouldnt be my cup of tea for sure.

Clare Bear wrote:

In saying that I have a major thing for boys that wear eyeliner...still don't know where that came from and sadly no boy in my life will entertain the idea. Boooooooooo!

You're not emo are ya?! :P

Probably cos its your idea not theirs.

mollybird

i had a transexual at my 21st back in the days when living in boston and it didn't bother me in the slightest. elle go with what your comfortable with and dont' give a crap to what everyone else thinks.

just as a point of interest have you ever told anyone you were with about this and what did they think of it??

Catari Jaguar

farohar wrote: »

lol, was just pondering this the other day, the way women seem to tend to drool over what are otherwise ordinary lads simply because they wear eyeliner.

It makes their eyes look nice. And they're the window to the soul and all that jazz

mollybird

mollybird wrote: »

i had a transexual at my 21st back in the days when living in boston and it didn't bother me in the slightest. elle go with what your comfortable with and dont' give a crap to what everyone else thinks.

just as a point of interest have you ever told anyone you were with about this and what did they think of it??

When u say "had" do u meant u were with him/her? Or just there was a transexual in attendance and it didnt bother u?!

elle2

just as a point of interest have you ever told anyone you were with about this and what did they think of it??


No I have never told anybody about it as I am well aware of societies attitude towards cross dressers, just wanted to see what the general consus was with womens opinions towards it in case I ever meet that someone special would they likely to be understanding?

dreamr

im cool with it, like just be who you want to be. If my boyfriend said he was a cross dresser, i wouldnt mind, but that said, its just not completely acceptable in our society for a guy to wear all girls clothes and make-up if they're just doing there shopping like.

Girls totally took over the pants, i think guys should start wearing the kilt again!! its totally hawt, guys have great legs!! damn them!

Clare Bear

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Kurt Cobain, Captain Jack Sparrow? *swoon*

Brandon Flowers from the Killers started me on it I think ha ha.

Then there's the ones that just shouldn't do it....DO YOU HEAR ME BRYAN ADAMS?!!!

LivingDeadGirl

Tbh I'd find it strange and unsettling if my bf told me he had a 'need' to dress in women's clothing. It sounds very strong. Maybe it's just alien to me, but I don't know if I could accept it, I think I'd have to be in the situation to know. The idea doesn't really appeal to me anyway, I know I'd definitely prefer if he didn't, but am unsure as to whether it'd be a dealbreaker. Best of luck to you however OP, I hope you can find a lady with whom you can share and enjoy it!

cuckoo

elle2 wrote: »

Just want to know what women think of guys into crossdressing, does it freak you out or would you be cool with it and would you ever date a guy into crossdressing?

Meh, whatever they feel comfortable wearing.

I would be annoyed if they were borrowing my clothes without asking though.

But, are we talking about a wandering around the house thing, or a going out and about? I feel comfortable wearing my old, shapeless dressing gown on the couch after work, but wouldn't show up to dinner at a boyf's parents' house with it on.

DJ_Spider

As if by magic Boards resident (c**p) crossdresser appears! Don't worry people there will be no mentaly scarring pics! As a few of you remember, (and probably will NEVER forget! :eek:) I dressed up as the sugar plum fairy at my first beers at Xmas. I did for a laff, and have no desire to dress like that at anyother time!

I actually have had that outfit since I came to Ireland, and although have mentioned it to Mrs Spider, she wouldn't wear it! (she is a little concious of her wieght) But a few years ago I was helping a friend of mine make sets for a panto, we used to go to the pub before starting as we had to wait until the theatre was empty. I said something, and he said I was terrible, (can't remember exactly what I said!) I replied in a Dr Frakenfurter type voice, 'I know, but don'tya just love me for it!' He immediately said I would make a great Dr Frankenfurter!

Well several drinks later he convinced me to do it! I did a show every evening and 2 on a saturday. One thing I did notice was that the basque I wore killed my ribs! Every time I took it off they felt like they had been punched. So fair play to girls if they get the same result!

I think Eddie Izzard sums the whole idea of Crossdressers, (as apposed to Transvestites) Crossdressers usually don't want to be female, they just enjoy wearing female attire. But Eddie has describes himself as an "executive", "action", and "underground" transvestite, as "a male tomboy" or "male lesbian" rather than a "weirdo" transvestite (he cites J. Edgar Hoover as an example of the latter). He regularly cross-dresses both on and off stage and makes it clear that cross-dressing is, for him, not a sexual thing — he simply enjoys wearing make-up and clothing which is traditionally perceived in the West as female-only.

He remarks in one of his shows, "Women wear what they want and so do I." According to Izzard, "Most transvestites fancy girls." He dismisses claims that he is homosexual, saying he is either a straight transvestite or a "male lesbian". He has also described himself as "a lesbian trapped in a man's body," but this is not generally taken to mean that he actually identifies as a transgender lesbian.

So I say live and let live, I am seriously thinking of organisin a 'alternative' night in Dublin, if I can find a suitable place to hold it, as this seems to be lacking here. I know there is Nimhneach, but I think that is a little extreme for most people. I am trying to get a night for crossdressers, transvestites, admirers, and transgenered people, just have fun and not worry about anyone judging them.

I also there are 'underground' transvestite clubs, but I want something where everyone is welcome and have a good time.

Thankyou for listening to my waffle, can I have some chocolate sauce please?!

r3nu4l

cuckoo wrote: »

But, are we talking about a wandering around the house thing, or a going out and about? I feel comfortable wearing my old, shapeless dressing gown on the couch after work, but wouldn't show up to dinner at a boyf's parents' house with it on.

This is the key really for most women who do accept crossdressing men. My mate crossdresses and has his own wardrobe of clothes. His gf is absolutely fine with it so long as he keeps it confined to inside the house. She did help him with make-up tips when he first told her about it and she helps to buy his wardrobe for him.

they've agreed however that he won't do it when there are visitors over...apart from me and one or two others who know about it and are used to it. That said, he doesn't dress that way all day every day or rush home from work every day and change into a mini-skirt and stockings. He might be dressed like that one day, the next time it's jeans and a t-shirt.

I went to NUI Maynooth and every year at rag week they have a drag ball and it's amazing the amount of men who dress in drag for it (me included back in the day). The guys put in a lot of effort, getting hair done, girls to do make up for them and lend them clothes. It's not just a case of donning a crap dress and getting the pints in...the lads put in the effort and learn a little bit about why it takes women so bloody long to get ready for a night out

Piste

I don't think I could ever go out with a cross-dresser. It would be too weird.

Also, how could I feel dainty and pretty next to a fella in a dress?

GirlInterrupted

I honestly don't think it would bother me if it was a private pastime, and not something I would have to deal with public reaction to.

I would appreciate being told from the get go as well, instead of hearing about it well in to the relationship, as if it were a guilty secret. I can see how participating in the transformation could be fun too. But if he borrowed my clothes - or undies especially - one dead tranny!

DJ_Spider

So when are we having a Rocky Horror beers!!? :P

Zwillinge

Hello Elle.
In response to your questions, I think its A-Ok!
I know guys who do and feel comfortable with this choice in lifestyle. Sadly, their girlfriends weren't too excited about it
I don't see why all males shouldn't be allowed in womens clothing, after all most of it is more pretty, delightful and well, roomier? Since we get skirts and can wear baggy trousers... But before I end up going down that road...
Also it is fun to have a male about with the clothing shopping who isn't being a moan the whole way through!! :rolleyes:

pretty*monster

I had a one night stand with a cross dresser (he wasn't cross-dressed at the time, but he was a friend of a friend and was pretty up front about it). I can't imagine having a huge problem with a more serious partner being a cross-dresser but only if he was upfront about it fom the begining.
Although it does get on my nerves a little when cross dressers make too much of 'exploring their feminine side' or 'walking into a womans world'. I rather think that my experience of being a woman consists of a little more than just wearing dresses and high heels.

MissHoneyBun

How do I feel about men cross-dressing? Probably the same way he'd feel if I grew a ronnie and stank of Old Spice!

Kidd-o

I couldn't care, honestly, my bf always messes about wearing my clothes (and he sometimes does, handy when your the same size lol) but i have a simple rule

dont touch my shoes and i dont care what he does.


Everyone has an "oddity" i have a compulsion to lick things or chew paper and i HAVE to do it when i get the urge, we;re all "odd" in our own way its what makes us human, if someone wants to wear something that may not suit their body shape (and call a spade a spade, thats the key difference between men and womens clothing) leave them off.

You see people everyday wearing clothes that dont look conventionally right on them, but hell, who decides these things.

Reku

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

I would appreciate being told from the get go as well, instead of hearing about it well in to the relationship, as if it were a guilty secret. I can see how participating in the transformation could be fun too. But if he borrowed my clothes - or undies especially - one dead tranny!

Not sure how realistic that would be though since some will do it for arousal, in other words as a fetish, don't know about you but I wouldn't get into discussing personal fetishes on a first date especially if I knowingly had one such as cross-dressing that seems to tend to be regarded as outside the norm for most people. Heck there's things I'm open about on these forums that have nothing to do with kinks or such (i.e. things to be shared with partners not everyone you know) but I doubt I'd open a first date with; "Oh yeah, by the way I've practiced self-harm, wanna see the scars?" - not exactly a good conversation. I'm not terribly secretive about it by any means, I just prefer to at least be friends before I talk of such things so they know a bit about me beyond that, that there is more to me.

As for him borrowing clothes isn't there a womens' rule regarding that:
If you can get into my pants you're not getting into my pants.:D

cuckoo

pretty*monster wrote: »

Although it does get on my nerves a little when cross dressers make too much of 'exploring their feminine side' or 'walking into a womans world'. I rather think that my experience of being a woman consists of a little more than just wearing dresses and high heels.

Yeah, know what you mean. It's like men who get their shins waxed once for charity, while hammered in the pub, and believe themselves to be experts on women's beauty routines.

How thin a line is it between 'cross dresser' and 'transgender'? Is cross dressing the gateway to questioning gender, or are ppl who identify as tgender more likely to cross dress in the first place? Chicken or egg.....?

I know the paragraph above reads a little like i'm not getting the difference between cross dressing and tgender, I guess it's just that (eddie izzard aside, as DJ Spider cites in his eloquent post) I haven't really been exposed to cross dressers much.

Here's another thought - is it possible that cross dressing is more prevalent amongst men doing macho jobs, or men who portray themselves as macho? Eg, DJ Spider, weren't you in the army for a while, and soldiers certainly do seem to have a thing for dressing up in drag - is putting on a long wig the ultmate way to relax and let your hair down?

allabouteve

I think there a very big line between transgender and cross dressing.

A gender disorder is a lifelong psyhcological disorder resulting in the sufferer having feelings of 'being trapped in the wrong body' or their physical self not reflecting the inner person.

A cross dresser is compelled to dress as the opposite gender (and there are drag kings too!) as an exercise in relaxation, and also sometimes, but not always, sexual arousal.

I would have a problem with a cross dressing partner. I want a man exploring his male side with me, not his feminine side.......I like manly men.

Reku

cuckoo wrote: »

Here's another thought - is it possible that cross dressing is more prevalent amongst men doing macho jobs, or men who portray themselves as macho? Eg, DJ Spider, weren't you in the army for a while, and soldiers certainly do seem to have a thing for dressing up in drag - is putting on a long wig the ultmate way to relax and let your hair down?

Interesting thought... I have heard of such a theoretical relationship with those into the whole submissive/dominant scene, in that quite often they will be drawn to the role very much the opposite of who they are outside of the bedroom roleplay. How true it is I don't know though.

DJ_Spider

Um, ok, how far shal I go with this? Yes I was in the Army for 12 years and we did go out all dressed up for stag nights and the craic. I think it might have something to do with the fact that when you are in the Army you wear a uniform and have the image of being hard. If you can go the other way and have some fun at the same time, why not?!

I have dressed as a female many times, I raised money for the local hospital many years ago by dressing as a nurse and going on the trains during the morning collecting. We had a few of us dressed in various hospital outfits. :rolleyes:

I would love to go to a Rocky Horror night here, but as far as I can see it's not happening any more.

Zwillinge

DJ_Spider wrote: »

I would love to go to a Rocky Horror night here, but as far as I can see it's not happening any more.

Just a random side note to this, probably out of place, oh well.

There was a Rocky Horror night in Sugar Club in Dublin (not sure if you're a Dub or not!) on the last Friday 13th and I think the next one is on Halloweeen, though it's not concrete.

DJ_Spider

I am in Dub and love it! LOL But thanks for the info, I did know about that night, but wa sbusy doing a gig or drinking! I might see if we can arrange a trip to one from boards. Only thing is we usually have 'normal' boards beers for halloween!

GirlInterrupted

farohar wrote: »

Not sure how realistic that would be though since some will do it for arousal, in other words as a fetish, don't know about you but I wouldn't get into discussing personal fetishes on a first date especially if I knowingly had one such as cross-dressing that seems to tend to be regarded as outside the norm for most people. Heck there's things I'm open about on these forums that have nothing to do with kinks or such (i.e. things to be shared with partners not everyone you know) but I doubt I'd open a first date with; "Oh yeah, by the way I've practiced self-harm, wanna see the scars?" - not exactly a good conversation. I'm not terribly secretive about it by any means, I just prefer to at least be friends before I talk of such things so they know a bit about me beyond that, that there is more to me.

As for him borrowing clothes isn't there a womens' rule regarding that:
If you can get into my pants you're not getting into my pants.:D

I usually know men a while before the dating part! Its good to be friends first, and usually friends tell each other things when the conversations get deep.

If you and I knew each other a while, and as you say you're not secretive, you would probably disclose your secrets in the context of friends talking before it turned more intimate.

Harmless fetishes are just that: Harmless fetishes.

Reku

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

I usually know men a while before the dating part!

I'd be much the same, replacing the word "men" with "women" obviously though! lol
At least that way if it doesn't work out there's some hope you can go back to just being friends as opposed to avoiding & disliking each other as seems to happen far too often with peoples' relationships.

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Its good to be friends first, and usually friends tell each other things when the conversations get deep.

If you and I knew each other a while, and as you say you're not secretive, you would probably disclose your secrets in the context of friends talking before it turned more intimate.

Harmless fetishes are just that: Harmless fetishes.

I'm not secretive about some things but others I am, have to retain a little mystery to keep you girls interested afterall. :rolleyes::P

JaneyMc

I would like to think that I would be open minded enough to accept something like this, and I have accepted things that in my opinion were a bit out there in a similar fashion from an ex boyfriend , but I don't think I know how I would react unless I was in that situation.

Niamho!

Clare Bear wrote: »

Well I'm saying it to the OP because he's single (I think?).....being honest yeah it'd freak me out. If he only did it every now and again for a laugh I wouldn't care but if it was a regular thing I'd have to think about it....it's hard to know though until you're in that situation. I mean if you're with someone and you're in love and then they turn around and tell you they're a crossdresser it'd be hard to know what to do...

In saying that I have a major thing for boys that wear eyeliner...still don't know where that came from and sadly no boy in my life will entertain the idea. Boooooooooo!

:eek: ME TOO!!!! hahahaha

DJ_Spider

Clare Bear wrote: »

In saying that I have a major thing for boys that wear eyeliner...still don't know where that came from and sadly no boy in my life will entertain the idea. Boooooooooo!

/me runs and gets magic marker - oops! wrong colour! :eek:

/me now looks silly with green lines around eyes!

Star Lord

Whats your opinion on men into crossdressing?

What Sister Zaph does in her free time is up to her.

Serious answer:

Different strokes for different folks. Can't say I've ever got the urge, but if everyone had the same likes/dislikes (including/especially sexual likes/dislikes) then the world would be a lot more boring.

cuckoo

DamoElDiablo wrote: »

Different strokes for different folks. Can't say I've ever got the urge, but if everyone had the same likes/dislikes (including/especially sexual likes/dislikes) then the world would be a lot more boring.

Ain't that the truth.