Relationships that aren't what they seem

illgetyourcoat

Quite a nice story
names are changed to protect users from slanderous pms and msgs
both persons involved are users on boards.ie

myself and "claire" met in work, many moons ago, she had told most of the people in work that herself and a long term boyfriend (we will use the name steve) broke up, she proceeded to try her luck with another colleague, she made out with him but soon after got bored of him, saying "that was just a joke really, hes just a child" then after a while she set her sights on me, god knows why im mediocre looking to be quite honest but that was enough for her, we started to txt for a while, one thing led to another and we got together, meeting, kissing and riding whenever the opportunities were available, then on St patricks day of this year after her all day telling me how much she loved me and telling me that she wanted to settle down and have kids with me a txt came through to say "we cannot see eachother anymore, "steve" knows, we cant talk again, thats it"

now in reading this you would assume that the relationship between myslef and "claire" was being kept from "steve", but i assure you this is not the case, she told myself and countless work colleagues that their relationship was over, which in fact after a call placed by "claire" to me which resulted in myself having to explain to "steve" that we had a relationship seemed to say their relationship was very much still on going. this girl (if that word is now applicable) is a sorry excuse for a human being who obviously needs to do things like this to make herself feel better, all i have for this person now is pity, i also pity "steve" because know they are back together and are very much in love, i find fault here, yes love means you can forgive a betrayal but "claire" told me many things including how she has cheated on "steve" many times and each time she didnt think anything of it, no remorse, no shame, nothing
This may seem like a bitter attempt to slander the name of this user, i must say that is not my primary intent, i really just want people to think long and hard about the people they are sharing part of their lives with.

my main question in all of this is:
how well do we really know anyone??

TPD

As shít as your situation is, dont be so quick to tar everyone with the same brush.

randylonghorn

Jaysus, sounds like a mess all right, but I really don't see what you are going to achieve here that is going to improve life in any way for you, Claire or Steve.

You could, howver, quite easily achieve the opposite for all three of you ...

illgetyourcoat

no i mean not to tar everyone with any brush, i just want ppl to be weary

my situation is a lot less **** than that of many others, i dont claim i have it bad, im just posting this in effort to tell some ppl that this kinda thing can and does happen, i mean no disrespect to anyone reading this

MIN2511

Is this a PI??


Not the first or last time it would happen, people **** each other up

TPD

illgetyourcoat wrote: »

my situation is a lot less **** than that of many others, i dont claim i have it bad, im just posting this in effort to tell some ppl that this kinda thing can and does happen, i mean no disrespect to anyone reading this

Is this not a bita PI?

illgetyourcoat

randylonghorn wrote: »

Jaysus, sounds like a mess all right, but I really don't see what you are going to achieve here that is going to improve life in any way for you, Claire or Steve.

You could, howver, quite easily achieve the opposite for all three of you ...

there is that possibililty alright, i dont believe this is to achieve anything other than make me slightly feel better cos i finally get to discuss this situation selfish as that sounds it could be a help for me

illgetyourcoat

as much of a noob as i sound here, what is a PI??

randylonghorn

Personal Issue

This forum ...

You may find yourself whisked off there any minute now by a certain Sligo-man's magic wand ...

illgetyourcoat

yeah i guess it is a PI my appolagies, i am awful noobish lol

AlmightyCushion

Moved from After Hours.

randylonghorn

Psychics'R'Us!

illgetyourcoat

i now have the problem of removing this thread

AlmightyCushion

illgetyourcoat wrote: »

i now have the problem of removing this thread

You want to delete the thread? I can't help you with that, now that it's been moved but if you edit your post and remove everything in it you should be ok. You can then report the post and ask for it to be deleted.

illgetyourcoat

cheers ill see what i can do, nice one

Wibbs

As MIN2511 said people fúck each other over. It happens.

Your story has happened to me, damn near identical actually. I've been "steve" and I've been you. In both cases the "claires" ended up not very happy campers down the line. Karma or whatever. Who cares, you don't need that in your life. Scrape her off.

Just be grateful you're not steve. Poor sap.

You hear that a woman may have to kiss many frogs to find her prince and that's fairly true, unless they're lucky. Same goes for blokes. Unless you're bloody lucky you'll have to scrape off a few emotionally retarded psychos before you meet the right one for you.

illgetyourcoat

you said it, sorry to hear ya got ****ed over, but glad to hear the chicks got a dose of karma, not need for that sorta c*ntyness

Wibbs

Personally I don't believe in karma as a spiritual thing. It's more so that if you act badly with people over time that comes back to bite as people start to spot it more and more.

The trick is not to become bitter. Now you probably will for a while and that's natural, but they're not all like that. TBH yes, a hell of a lot the women I've been with were an emotional waste of space and that's not so good, but the rest were decent, caring emotionally responsible human beings, who I was blessed to know, so that's the bit to concentrate on finding.

illgetyourcoat

yeah i totally agree with you, women can be a complete head f*ck at times but there are a lot of great ladies out there

jesus_thats_gre

She sounds like a complete C*NT!!! Be glad that you are rid of her.

illgetyourcoat

im well glad to be rid, pity for the steve chap tho

but i guess if its love then fair play, i just couldnt deal with that sorts situation myself

serenacat

it sounds like you never really cared for her anyway.

illgetyourcoat

at one stage i really thought i did, looking back now, im not sure, no i really dont care for her obviously but im not happy about how it went down

ah well, she'll get hers, just hope i never run into her again

Wibbs

I pity the steve chappy too. She may think it's love and that she was "confused" about her feelings when you were in play, but I wouldn't lose money if I bet that down the line she'll get "confused" again. I've seen that story sooooo many times repeated sooo many times, with the same outcome. You can get women and men who have to have a flingette with someone else to make the decision about how they feel about someone, but that's not a good character trait, regardless of outcome.

A third one of those "claires" I referenced from my own life was an interesting one. I was seeing her after she claimed she had split from her long termer 6 months previously. Of course I found out she was still seeing him, so I walked away. Cue her ringing me and telling me she had left this bloke and wanted to be with me. I saw her after that for a few weeks, but just couldn't get past her betrayal and jerking around of her "steve", as I figured the chances of her pulling that with me were high. So we split. Two weeks after that she moves in with said "steve" and claimed to love him. Then they get engaged. For up to two years later and every so often she contacted me looking to "meet".

I dodged a bullet there that's for sure.

There are always two sides to these things. In your case three and if you have examined your actions and honestly feel you did the right thing, then write it off as a learning experience.

Sherifu

Some people have no/low morals. Learn from it and forget about her.

illgetyourcoat

wibbs, that claire is well in line for a shooting, thats a complete mess of a girl, i understand the whole fling thing to find out how they really feel but if its repeated its not the same at all, its border line being a succubus in my opinion

i have to say, the situation could have ended a lot worse for me, im glad i found out early enough and not months or years down the line.

i tink the lesson i have learned is, some women are bastards and some arent, but sometimes its hard to know whos who.

illgetyourcoat

Sherifu wrote: »

Some people have no/low morals. Learn from it and forget about her.

youre definately right there, honestly the only reason i posted that last night is cos i was drunk and a bit pissed off, but im pretty much over it, apart from the odd drunken reminder that angers me lol.

thats normal tho yeah??

Wibbs

illgetyourcoat wrote: »

i tink the lesson i have learned is, some women are bastards and some arent, but sometimes its hard to know whos who.

It can be, but you have to keep in the game. If you're not open, you won't get hurt, but you won't find love either.

Dizzyblonde

'claire' does sound like a piece of work, but honestly - you knew she wasn't the 'girl next door' type from the beginning didn't you?
I'm not saying she was right - far from it - but you knew she was a bit of a slapper.
Maybe go for a different type next time?

DenMan

Yep I agree with Dizz. If she wasn't straight with you, she definitely wasn't straight with him either. She sounds like a user and a manipulator. If it develops further I would tell Steve that she said she was no longer together with him. You can only go on what she says. It is not your fault, she definitely is a user. Lesson learned I believe for yourself. She also may be an insecure person whose way of dealing with her insecurities is by using other people. That is not on. It has happened before you said. Put this all behind you.

Wibbs

Denman is on the money there. The only thing I would disagree with is telling steve. If he was a close mate maybe, but then this wouldn't have played out like this. My advise would be to avoid that like the plague. He probably believes her and you'll look like the bad guy. In any case better he learns himself

CathyMoran

Just to let you know that this is not totally a woman thing - dated the male equivalent of "Claire", luckily I met his best friend at the same time and ended up marrying him. Still friends with the other guy though, he learned his mistake and is now happily married. I would just let this pass and realise that you dodged a bullet.

illgetyourcoat

steve has been informed about this, i sent him an email a while back with a good few details, hes not a mate or anything i just feel it was right that he knew, out of respect for the guy, obviously i have more respect for him than he does himself

yeah bullet well and truely dodged, have to say tho, some people can be pure bastards make and female, but its best that i dont let them bring me down, its really not worth it

illgetyourcoat

CathyMoran wrote: »

Just to let you know that this is not totally a woman thing - dated the male equivalent of "Claire", luckily I met his best friend at the same time and ended up marrying him. Still friends with the other guy though, he learned his mistake and is now happily married. I would just let this pass and realise that you dodged a bullet.

i totally agree, its not just a woman thing, more so it would be "expected" (as a close female friend keeps telling me) of a guy to do this, but i know of way more women than men that do that sort of thing, im just speaking from personal experience
my apologies to any women who think i am giving you a bad name