Hi ladies, looking for some advice for the perfect proposal...

vibe666

Hiya, here's the story...

Me and herself have been together for 7 years now, we've bought a house and we're all settled with a modicum of financial stability so I think it's time to do the deed and take the first step in making an honest woman of her.

I've managed to wangle a week in the Maldives and we're going at the end of the month, so I figure on a beach in the sun is as good a place as any to pop the question, but my main concern is the ring itself.

I'm not a dullard, I've been paying attention to what she likes and doesn't like and we have similar tastes anyway, so I've got a good idea of the ring I want to present her with, but I do know she's very particular about her jewellery and I don't want to give her something she isn't going to like because I know she'd wear it anyway and just not say anything to keep me happy and that's the last thing I want.

so I guess what I'm really asking is what's the best way to handle this? I was thinking of just getting a costume ring for effect to make the proposal and then take her to a jewellers to have the ring made up. I'm already in discussions with a well respected local jeweller in the Maldives who can make the ring, but I'm wondering if I should just take a chance and go ahead and get it made so it's ready for when we arrive.

This is the ring I was going to go for. It's a 1ct princess cut diamond with 0.5ct triangle cut sapphires. It's a design by tacori which you might recognise as the engagement ring chandler gave to monica in friends.



so what do you think?

will I just got for it, or will I use a cheap temporary ring to propose and then let her pick out the ring she wants?

I absolutly adore that ring.
If you know what she likes then go for it.

MIN2511

vibe666 wrote: »

Hiya, here's the story...

Me and herself have been together for 7 years now, we've bought a house and we're all settled with a modicum of financial stability so I think it's time to do the deed and take the first step in making an honest woman of her.

I've managed to wangle a week in the Maldives and we're going at the end of the month, so I figure on a beach in the sun is as good a place as any to pop the question, but my main concern is the ring itself.

I'm not a dullard, I've been paying attention to what she likes and doesn't like and we have similar tastes anyway, so I've got a good idea of the ring I want to present her with, but I do know she's very particular about her jewellery and I don't want to give her something she isn't going to like because I know she'd wear it anyway and just not say anything to keep me happy and that's the last thing I want.

so I guess what I'm really asking is what's the best way to handle this? I was thinking of just getting a costume ring for effect to make the proposal and then take her to a jewellers to have the ring made up. I'm already in discussions with a well respected local jeweller in the Maldives who can make the ring, but I'm wondering if I should just take a chance and go ahead and get it made so it's ready for when we arrive.

This is the ring I was going to go for. It's a 1ct princess cut diamond with 0.5ct triangle cut sapphires. It's a design by tacori which you might recognise as the engagement ring chandler gave to monica in friends.



so what do you think?

will I just got for it, or will I use a cheap temporary ring to propose and then let her pick out the ring she wants?

I am one for suprises but my friend got engaged last year and it's funny how she wanted to pick her ring herself.
Do the cheap ring and then show her this and if she likes it then yes if not she can always choose another

Goodluck!

Cathmandooo

I guess you're gonna get very varied opinions on this. I think if ever there was a man to organise and buy the proper ring before the proposal it would be you. You seem to have done your research well and know what she likes. I say go for it, she's a lucky lady!

btw I hope she's not on boards :eek:

Trinity

I like simple jewellery and not a lot of it, so its the good old fashioned solitaire for me.

cuckoo

vibe666 wrote: »

will I just got for it, or will I use a cheap temporary ring to propose and then let her pick out the ring she wants?

I'd suggest go with the cheapie ring and then let her choose THE ring - but, that's what i'd like. Also, I like to think that doing it that way means that the proposal is more about the asking and all that loving stuff, and less about the immediate bling.

Good luck, and do come back and tell us how it goes for you....!

Clare Bear

Aww

I'm the kind of girl that if I was proposed to I'd want him to have the ring ready, provided it wasn't hideous (and I doubt it would be) I'd be happy with whatever he chose simply because he chose it and it would mean a lot more than one I picked out. So it depends on your girlfriend, you know her taste and if you think she would like it then go for it. Best of luck by the way, she's a lucky girl

kizzyr

Clare Bear wrote: »

Aww

I'm the kind of girl that if I was proposed to I'd want him to have the ring ready, provided it wasn't hideous (and I doubt it would be) I'd be happy with whatever he chose simply because he chose it and it would mean a lot more than one I picked out. So it depends on your girlfriend, you know her taste and if you think she would like it then go for it. Best of luck by the way, she's a lucky girl

Totally depends on the girl in question. I would hate my boyfriend to have picked out the ring without me. I really like the idea of picking it out together. I worked in a jewellery shop part time (summers, Christmas etc while at college) and spent lots of happy afternoons trying on lots and lots of jewellery. Its amazing how difference some rings can look on your hand. What seems nice in the window can be horrible on.
Although, all that said, I think the ring Monica had in Friends was really nice and it would be a good bet for your girlfriend.......all my opinion though.

vibe666

yeah, I'm kind of torn at the moment between feeling confident that I know this is the ring she'd choose herself and the look on her face when she sees it and the other side which is that she's going to be wearing it for the rest of her life so it better be 100% exactly what she's after. it's such a tough call and probably the most important purchase of my life so it absolutely has to be right.

I think the order of the day will be an el cheapo ring for the proposal itself and then taking her straight to the jewellers (which will be on another island by speedboat by the way, so that's pretty fancy too) once I've done it so she can pick and choose and make sure it's 100% exactly what she's after.

I suspect she'd have exactly the same conficted feelings about it as I do if she knew it was coming, part wanting me to just do it and it'll be great cos it's what I chose and I know her so well, but part afraid that she could end up stuck with something she doesn't like but not wanting to hurt my feelings.

I think I'll go with a cheap prop ring first and then take her to get her real one made up.

I tell ya what, thank god i know she's going to accept when I finally do it or I'd be in a heap right now worrying about that too!

Lil' Smiler

If she doesn't like that ring.. I'll have it

Yeah go for the cheapo ring first I think unless you are absolutely sure that she'd like that one

NextSteps

You're sure she's not on Boards?

vibe666

yep, pretty sure. tried to get her on hear a few years back, but she didn't get into it. mostly a lack of free time i think, because she's got more than enough opinion to go around and she IS actually always right.

i do mean that too. we hardly ever argue at all since i know she's smarter and much more quick witted than I am so I know that even on the rare occasions I'm actually right I'm still not going to win because she'll always outwit me.

it actually makes for a great relationship, hence my current predicament.

Jules

Why dont you get a smaller picture of the ring and put it in a ring box and use that, tell her you wanted to buy her that one, but wanted to make sure she liked it! I think that is cute!

b3t4

I was going to suggest something along the lines of what Jules said but I was going to say have an empty ring box and a piece of paper inside it saying I.O.U I think it's cute and funny at the same time.

That's my opinion though others differ.
A

Abi

Tbh, what Jules said works well imo. I do like the ring you've picked OP, but there is no way anyone of us would know what your lady would like.

You could narrowish it down with her age group, but even at that the cut of the ring could make a huge difference. For example a lot of girls are going for solotaire. I've got antique taste (what little jewellery I will wear) and Im in my twenties.

Have to say, before I read Jules post I did think of you handing her over a voucher for H Samuels saying 'marry me baby' :pac:

^^ All the above said, you've a lions heart for asking. Fair plays to ya.

vibe666

I think the empty box with a pic inside is a good idea, then whisk her off in a speedboat to get it all finalised to her exact specs so it's absolutely 100% perfect.

we'e been together 7 years now, still very much in love and with a good solid foundation to it, we're both 31 and have the house and everything so I think now's the time to do it if i was ever going to. god if i don't do i now she might just think I'm never going to and get fed up and leave.

seriously though, we finish each others sentances, we get each others aches and pains and the things we do when we're together (careful now, I'm just talking about cooking and that kind of thing) always seem to compliment what the other person is doing.

in short, we just fit and we both know that we're going to be together for the rest of our lives so it's the logical next step for us before kids and marriage. we just work really well together and everyone we know says the same thing.

OrangeDaisy

vibe666 wrote: »

seriously though, we finish each others sentances, we get each others aches and pains and the things we do when we're together (careful now, I'm just talking about cooking and that kind of thing) always seem to compliment what the other person is doing.

in short, we just fit and we both know that we're going to be together for the rest of our lives so it's the logical next step for us before kids and marriage. we just work really well together and everyone we know says the same thing.

Aw thats so romantic:p She's a lucky girl you've put so much thought and preparation into this

GirlInterrupted

vibe666 wrote: »

yeah, I'm kind of torn at the moment between feeling confident that I know this is the ring she'd choose herself and the look on her face when she sees it and the other side which is that she's going to be wearing it for the rest of her life so it better be 100% exactly what she's after. it's such a tough call and probably the most important purchase of my life so it absolutely has to be right.

I think the order of the day will be an el cheapo ring for the proposal itself and then taking her straight to the jewellers (which will be on another island by speedboat by the way, so that's pretty fancy too) once I've done it so she can pick and choose and make sure it's 100% exactly what she's after.

I suspect she'd have exactly the same conficted feelings about it as I do if she knew it was coming, part wanting me to just do it and it'll be great cos it's what I chose and I know her so well, but part afraid that she could end up stuck with something she doesn't like but not wanting to hurt my feelings.

I think I'll go with a cheap prop ring first and then take her to get her real one made up.

I tell ya what, thank god i know she's going to accept when I finally do it or I'd be in a heap right now worrying about that too!

There must be something seriously wrong with me. A six-pack and a chinese takeaway and I'm anybodys:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Orlee

Clare Bear wrote: »

Aww

I'm the kind of girl that if I was proposed to I'd want him to have the ring ready, provided it wasn't hideous (and I doubt it would be) I'd be happy with whatever he chose simply because he chose it and it would mean a lot more than one I picked out. So it depends on your girlfriend, you know her taste and if you think she would like it then go for it. Best of luck by the way, she's a lucky girl

Sums it all up imo

cuckoo

vibe666 wrote: »

I think the empty box with a pic inside is a good idea, then whisk her off in a speedboat to get it all finalised to her exact specs so it's absolutely 100% perfect.

Maybe you could do the speed boat the next day? I know if i had just been proposed to (and said 'yes') i'd want to spend the rest of that day with my new fiance (sp?), and just be with each other. Also, i'd be all overwhelmed and happy giddy, so making Big Ring Decisions would be difficult.

Zaph

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

There must be something seriously wrong with me. A six-pack and a chinese takeaway and I'm anybodys:rolleyes::rolleyes:

GirlInterrupted

Zaph wrote: »

Oops, didn't realise anyone was paying attention:o.

Zaph

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Oops, didn't realise anyone was paying attention:o.

I'm always paying attention.

GirlInterrupted

Zaph wrote: »

I'm always paying attention.

I'll bear that in mind before I put my foot in my mouth again........:o

serenacat

are you able to return or exchange rings? if so then buy this
go to the empire state building and propose there

kizzyr

serenacat wrote: »

are you able to return or exchange rings? if so then buy this
go to the empire state building and propose there

The perfect proposal is so subjective. I think what he has planned (especially her picking the ring out herself) is a good idea. I would hate hate hate the Empire State proposal, along with Eiffel Tower Paris proposal too. Maybe I'm too hard hearted (:D) but I think those proposals are really cheesy.

Ruby-J

Cathooo wrote: »

I guess you're gonna get very varied opinions on this. I think if ever there was a man to organise and buy the proper ring before the proposal it would be you. You seem to have done your research well and know what she likes. I say go for it, she's a lucky lady!

btw I hope she's not on boards :eek:

i totally agree with you!!!!

Best of luck vibe, but ye seem to have it pretty sorted!!! You must have grown up with sisters! You certainly know how to plan a proposal!!! The Maldives and that ring!!!!

OH my goodness!!! :eek:

IM JEALOUS!!!!

vibe666

yeah, I'm inclined to agree with that. I'd thought about Paris for the proposal and even took her there last year for her birthday for a week, but when we got there it just didn't feel right (especially not up the eiffel tower).

I think a nice relaxing walk on the beach in paradise will be just about right.

And I think I'm going to stick with having my own plans for what it whould be (already have some sample pics on my phone ready to show her) but letting her pick the exactl design of the ring out herself.

Oh, and they're goinhg to make it from scratch exactly as she wants it whenh we get there, so I doubt I'll be able to take it back without losing lots of money. better to have it right first time anyway.

Thanks for the advice though, you've all been very helpful.

I'll let you know how it goes when we're back home next month (the 8th or 9th July I think).

There's a thought.

Anyone know a good way to find out her ring size?

getting a ring off her to measure is a bit of a non-staerter, she doesn't tend to leave them laying around much.

cuckoo

Ruby-J wrote: »

i totally agree with you!!!!

Best of luck vibe, but ye seem to have it pretty sorted!!! You must have grown up with sisters! You certainly know how to plan a proposal!!! The Maldives and that ring!!!!

OH my goodness!!! :eek:

IM JEALOUS!!!!

You know what? Me too. *envy*

Vibe666, you've raised the expectations of us women reading this now - expect the men of Ireland to get together a posse and jump you behind the bike shed as women across the country look at their fellas and say 'but...why aren't you taking me to a tropical paradise on holiday?'.

akamossy

If i was being proposed to i'd want him to have already picked the ring, it would mean so much more to me having him pick it. And that ring is absolutely stunning.

Best of luck

kizzyr

akamossy wrote: »

If i was being proposed to i'd want him to have already picked the ring, it would mean so much more to me having him pick it. And that ring is absolutely stunning.

Best of luck

Isn't it funny how different people can be? I'd really really really hate to have my ring picked out for me. I think its a much nicer thing to do together. I also detest so many of the so called "perfect" proposals as they come across as too much of the "one size fits all" brand to me.

SarahSassy

OP

Whether you choose the ring or she does she is a very lucky lady!! Well done for putting so much thought into it... Enjoy the trip and best of luck

SS

vibe666

I think it would be nice if I already had the ring for her, but I also know her well enough to not pick out jewellery for her.

Still trying to get her ring size anyway, just to be on the safe side.

akamossy

vibe666 wrote: »

I think it would be nice if I already had the ring for her, but I also know her well enough to not pick out jewellery for her.

Still trying to get her ring size anyway, just to be on the safe side.

I agree in you getting the ring for her. I wouldn't like to be proposed to without the ring im going to wear as my engagement ring! Any chance in getting a friend or something to help you to get the ring size??

vibe666

what i meant was, that it would be nice to have the ring, but I know her and she's very particular about what kind of jewellery she likes so I don't think I'm willing to take that much of a risk and spend several thousand euro on something she might not like.

Black Swan

If you know what she likes, and this is it, then go for it! Something that would add meaning for me would be 2 or 3 or 4 words engraved on the ring that were very personal between us. Do you have a nick name for her and one she has for you? Maybe: "(nickname)&(nickname) forever!" engraved inside the ring? Or some other words that only you two share? (Personal, not that Hallmark rubbish)

Personally, what was engraved and personal between us on my ring would mean more to me than any stone!

vibe666

unfortunately it looks like the proper ring will have to wait till we get back. I've been negotiating with the jeweller in the Maldives and unfortunately even after me pointing out the value of the diamond in question he's still trying to charge me about $3000 more than what it's worth, so I've politely told him that he can keep it and I'll go elsewhere.

now I just have to figure out an elsewhere.

I asked our travel agent about changing our return flights to go via dubai and spending a night there so we could pick something out together, but that's a non-starter as there's no possibility of changing the flight back so it looks like maybe being something local here instead.

Glowing

I just wanted to say something....

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

SarahSassy

I have an idea - why dont you buy her a plain gold (wedding) band and have it inscribed with the date you get engaged to her and give it to her in the box when you propose.

Then she can either use it as a ring for her right hand or her wedding ring in due course. You are still giving her something sentimental (and practical) and ye can go and buy the engagement ring together when you get home.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

cjmcork

OP, there's a jeweller in Cork, he's the best I've come across and will do commissioned pieces, i think he supplies a shop in Dublin (O'connors?), but he's Ozcar Askoy in Ballincollig - well worth a look - has very unusual pieces - she definitely won't see her ring anywhere else and he's very reasonable.........so you can get more bling for your buck..........PM me if you want any more specific details............I have a couple of his pieces

vibe666

well, i'm up to my eyes in it at work and not in great shape after all the travelling, so a full update will have to wait, but I just wanted to say it all went very smoothly and we decided to spend a day in london to go ring shopping.

we did all the famous shops, de beers, tiffany etc. but she settled on a very nice piece with an awful lot of character and an awful lot more sparkle (although not too big or gaudy).

Here it is anyway, I'll try and get a better pic anyway. I'm confident we got a very good deal on it too, but I'll wait for the insurance evaluation before I start celebrating properly.

we saw dozens of rings and she was very "it's nice, but it's not for me" with the vast majority, even with a £10k+ Tiffany/De Beers ring on her finger, but she really liked this one from the start, and after we did our "we'll go away and think about it" (for about the 10th time that day) about 10 yards down the road she just looked at me and said "i think we found it" and started to cry.

one quick cuddle later and we decided to keep looking so we could be 100% sure and an hour or so later having been to every jewellers in bond street we went back and did the deal.

The guy in the shop was a legend and had his guys drop everything to get it sized properly as quickly as possible (as we had to go back to Gatwick to fly home) and when we came back 15 minutes later It went straight on her finger in the shop and hasn't left it since.

I'll try and get a better pic tonight, but for now this will give you a good idea of what it looks like.

It's got lots of character and it's actually a hand cut, 1ct diamond, Clarity E with SI1 inclusions, in a square emerald cut with 3 small round diamonds inlaid each side.

I was a bit hesitant about the SI1, but you honestly can't see a thing without a loupe and it's a very well cut stone with amazing clarity so I don't think that matters too much. the thing that gets you is the sparkle of it though. We've had it under about every different sort of light going at this stage already and it just sparkles and sparkles no matter how it's lit.

anyway, here's the first pic. doesn't really do it justice, but you get the idea.

Jules

it looks beautiful, and as long as you are both happy.. what else matters!

Cathmandooo

Congratulations! The ring looks gorgeous, delighted for you both

cjmcork

congrats OP! nice choice

Clare Bear

Congratulations to you both

cuckoo

Congrats!!!!

I it Vibes. Ye are so cute

Twee.

Awh wow congratulations! The ring really is gorgeous!

vibe666

you really don't get a feel for exactly how nice it is in that pic, but it's hard to get a good pic of something like that.

i'll see what i can do to get a better pic of it.

vibe666

vibe666 wrote: »

you really don't get a feel for exactly how nice it is in that pic, but it's hard to get a good pic of something like that.

i'll see what i can do to get a better pic of it.

We are women.....we have drooled over plenty of diamonds in our time.
We appreciate it alright!!

Although it is unusal enough to see an Ascher cut in this country.