age difference: how old is too old or does it really matter??

Madame Razz

Howdy ladies!

Looking for your opinion on this.

Have always gone for men at least 10 or 15 years older than me; dont know why, just like them better than guys my own age; im 26.

My friends always think its a bit odd.....


but when is too old too old; 15/20yrs age gap or does it matter??

If your happy then screw everyone elses opinion.
Personally I am gone off older men, they have more issues at this stage.

Zaph

Well I'm 40, so how you doin'?

Black Swan

Ask Lolita? Snuck out a few times with a young prof when a teen, until my Da found out. Shortly after, you could see the mushroomed shaped cloud over our home!

Trinity

I dated 2 men over 20 years my senior. Our lifestyles clashed at times but it was good while it lasted. Didnt help that i was only 21 with the first one and wanted to party. And 25 with the 2nd one and still wanted to party.

Much older now so dont know if it would make much difference as my wild days are long gone.

Trinity1

Trinity1 wrote: »

Much older now so dont know if it would make much difference as my wild days are long gone.

Well expect for the possbility that they might be approaching their nappy years.

Loopy

It shouldn't matter. If you click with someone who cares about the age gap.. Unless it bothers you what other people think.

A close friend of mine is going out with a guy who is 20 yrs older than her and they couldn't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks. They are madly in love..

Trinity

Moonbaby wrote: »

Well expect for the possbility that they might be approaching their nappy years.

Good point, hadnt thought of that

Although it was a running joke with my second older man that i would push him in his chair to the side of the dance floor and change his nappies when the time came

ChewChew

No way. . . why should age matter???

I'm 23 and LOVE an older guy. Would have no problem seeing someone 15/20 years older than me if it felt right!!!

Parsley

I like my older wimmenz! :pac:

old boy

no such thing as love, lust yes, pure animal lust now thats a different ball game

looptheloop wrote: »

It shouldn't matter. If you click with someone who cares about the age gap.. Unless it bothers you what other people think.

A close friend of mine is going out with a guy who is 20 yrs older than her and they couldn't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks. They are madly in love..

LolaLuv

I've dated older guys, but tend to prefer them closer to my own age now. It's more of an equal relationship, plus you're in the same life stages so you get to figure things out together; makes a stronger bond. But that's only been my experience, and everyone who's saying do whatever makes you happy is absolutely right.

ChewChew

Parsley wrote: »

I like my older wimmenz! :pac:

How many do you have?? :eek:

Zaph

Parsley wrote: »

I like my older wimmenz! :pac:

That's pretty much all of them for you though, isn't it?

Dord

Zaph wrote: »

That's pretty much all of them for you though, isn't it?

Ooh that was low! :pac:




Low age that is!

Jemmy

If your happy enough, then why care what anyone else thinks!
I wouldnt.

Parsley

And they like me too!



I like to think.

Abi

Young or old- you know what you want, you know what you want.


Me personally around the same age or older. Young 'uns tend to be a bit.. giddy or something. That said there are some bright sparks 'oo know what they want

LadyE

I would say that it doesnt really matter about age as long as you click!!!

Loopy

old boy wrote: »

no such thing as love

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Abi

old boy wrote: »

no such thing as love, lust yes, pure animal lust now thats a different ball game

So what you are saying is; you never stay with a woman after the 'lust' long enough for the love to happen? or is it you just dont want to?

Pighead

He has no choice in the matter. After the 30 seconds of underwhelming smelly sex he's left alone muttering to himself about love being a made up emotion and damning his small todger to hell.

Zaph

Pighead wrote: »

He has no choice in the matter. After the 30 seconds of underwhelming smelly sex he's left alone muttering to himself about love being a made up emotion and damning his small todger to hell.

Veering closely towards personal abuse territory. Behave yourself Pighead.

Pighead

Pighead retracts the nasty comment. Let it be stated for the record that old boy has a massive todger.

Abi

Zaph wrote: »

Veering closely towards personal abuse territory. Behave yourself Pighead.

You've taken him up completely wrong brother Zaph. He wasnt being abusive, hes speaking from experience, was merely a heart to heart.

kowloon

I'm pleased with the thoughts on this thread.
There may be hope for me when I become a first year again.

Pighead

Abigayle wrote: »

You've taken him up completely wrong brother Zaph. He wasnt being abusive, hes speaking from experience, was merely a heart to heart.

Damn straight sister. It was personal abuse.

Zaph

Abigayle wrote: »

You've taken him up completely wrong brother Zaph. He wasnt being abusive, hes speaking from experience, was merely a heart to heart.

Tut tut Abi, I can't admonish the porcine one about slagging off others for the size of their manhood, and not do the same to you when directed towards Pighead himself.

Relative penis sizes have nothing to do with age differences, back on topic please everyone.

echosound

If you're both happy, go for it. The only thing I'd be bearing in mind if you see this being a long term relationship is to think towards the future and the practicalities - if he's 20+ yrs older, chances are you will have to "settle down" a lot sooner than you might be prepared for (you're still in your 40s with a lot of energy, while he is drawing the pension and not really up for the month long holiday trekking up Machu Picchu) and also there is the factor that statistically it's very likely that you will spend a far longer period as a widow than if you had gone for a chap closer to your own age.

I'm not trying to be morbid or anything, but I have seen a good few marriages where one was 20 yrs older than the other, so for eg. when the wife was only 55, her husband was bedridden at 76, and dead at 78. Not something anyone wants to be thinking about, but if it is to be a lifelong thing (ie talk of marriage etc) it is a consideration unfortunately.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

If you are happy, it shouldn't matter about ages and your friends should be happy that you are happy!

kowloon

BrynW wrote: »

If you are happy, it shouldn't matter about ages and your friends should be happy that you are happy!

Within reason and legality.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

kowloon wrote: »

Within reason and legality.

Well that's a given!

kowloon

BrynW wrote: »

Well that's a given!

This is the internet though .

Madame Razz

Moonbaby wrote: »

If your happy then screw everyone elses opinion.
Personally I am gone off older men, they have more issues at this stage.

you could definately be onto something there moonbaby; i have encountered a few with fairly extensive issues; possibly why they're left on the shelf!!

I think i was taken up wrongly on my first post; i dont particularly give a damn what my friends think; i know what they think but it doesnt bother me; its my choice not theirs!!

I think in many ways older guys have huge advantages over younger men; but obviously as they get older there ensues major disadvantages.

and of course my mother always tells me if i end up with somebody 20/25 years older then to remember that most likely i'll be a widow in my fifties.....:eek: thnks mom!!

My most recent older man encounter was 15 years my senior; and he had issues with MY age........now that was a first!!

He also turned out to be one of those issue types....so i left him to it!!

Was just curious to get an opinion on it; i'm the only one in my circle with a penchant for age and maturity and was wondering did anybody else out there share my tastes

Wibbs

I reckon like any relationship difference it brings issues. Funny enough as a 40 year old bloke myself, I do see a certain intransigence in some of my male peers(the women tend to chill out as they get older funny enough). They do get stuck in their ways emotionally. Then again others don't.

I think the years just bring out the true personality more than anything else, as those I know who are open minded and easy going now, always were. Indeed have gotten more so with age.

As for baggage. Well everyone has some baggage. It's the mechanisms that they use to deal with that baggage is the important thing IMHO. I know for me at least, I am more accepting now anyway.

Crumble Froo

old boy wrote: »

no such thing as love, lust yes, pure animal lust now thats a different ball game

just cos you're old and bitter doesnt mean you have to project it onto the rest of us! :P

echosound wrote: »

I'm not trying to be morbid or anything, but I have seen a good few marriages where one was 20 yrs older than the other, so for eg. when the wife was only 55, her husband was bedridden at 76, and dead at 78. Not something anyone wants to be thinking about, but if it is to be a lifelong thing (ie talk of marriage etc) it is a consideration unfortunately.

*sigh* damned mortality my fella is 19 years older than me, and yeah, for me that is a major major worry. we joke about how im going to push his chair around the beach and probably throw him off a cliff when he annoys me (his words, not mine :P ), but it's just one of those horrible horrible things hanging over us, for me.

then again, ill probably walk under a bus tomorrow >_<

kowloon wrote: »

Within reason and legality.

define reason... cos i think i did mine with as little of that evidentially as ya can really... we met online and i flew over to see him in person all by myself... add the fact he's twice my age, and most of my mates were freaking out... well... define 'within reason.'

mollybird

trinity i was exactly like you. i was twenty and living over in the states when i was dating someone twice my age. was mad about him but our lifestyles clashed. and i was too busy out partying all the time where he wanted to stay in.

mollybird

trinity i was exactly like you. i was 20 and living in the states at the time when dating someone twice my age. was mad about him but our lifestyles clashed. i was too busy partying but he just wanted to stay in all the time our go out for a few quiet drinks.

Pink Summertime

Well, I am 31 and have been with a guy who is 47 since I was 28 so we are in our 4th year together now- I would just say take it slowly- they have been around longer than you and, may not want the same things etc.
If you are looking for something serious be careful- that's all I'd say- they come with baggage- it may be a bit of work on your part to convince them that not all women are mad lunatics who took their house and left them with nothing in the divorce!:o
Cynicism aside though- I totally empathise with you- I am very happy and have spent a bit of time reflecting on things like impact of age difference on babies etc but love conquers all girl! But like all matters of love tread carefully! And in areas of sexual and cultural adventures older is better!!
Hope that helps a bit!

Aisling(",)

im 16 and had a thing with a 26 year old.the age thing didnt bother me but the lifestyles so different that in that sense id rather someone around 18/19.

pug_lover

Just thought I'd jump in here.

Came out of a 5 year relationship with someone 19 yrs my senior recently.. we were engaged, in the process of buying a house etc and I got cold feet Started thinking we'd need to start a family like yesterday, and even at that he would still be a pretty old dad, and then the whole mortality thing. So I decided I wanted out... very hard to do when you genuinely love someone.

Have been single now for six months and haven't had any interest in anyone. Strangely enough though have had a bit if a flirtation with a 21 year old guy, only 4 years younger than me but I have more of a problem with the age difference here ... probably more of a maturity thing this time. But sure what the hell I think I could do with a little bit of fun at this stage

I like older guys.. because guys my age.. are only reaching the mental age of about 5 now..

I'd only ever go 10 years-ish over my age.. So 29/30.. ya.. ew.. no more.

Sugar Drunk

heard a brilliant rule for this yesterday - divide your age by two and add seven. Thats the age of the youngest person its acceptable to be with
Try it it kinda works out!

Dudess

That "rule" is absolute cock and I can't believe so many people buy into it...

Aisling(",) wrote: »

im 16 and had a thing with a 26 year old.

He sounds like quite the paedo catch...

Love the older guys - I've been with quite a few. The biggest age gap was 19 years. I was 26, he was 45. Never had any interest in guys my own age when I was a teen - boys just never did it for me, I wanted a man. Didn't have a boyfriend til I was 18 - although he wasn't much older than me.

LolaLuv

Dudess wrote: »

Never had any interest in guys my own age when I was a teen - boys just never did it for me, I wanted a man.

Very well said! That's how I was in high school. Now that I'm a little bit older (mid-20s), I'm finding that I don't have to go for an extreme age difference to find decent men. Still prefer a few years plus though.

leesmom

im 20 and my OH is 25,we've been together over 3 years now,im pretty mature for my age and him a little immature but it balances out really.i found guys my age were way to immature,like dudess said ,i wanted a man not a boy.i dont think id go out with someone much older than my OH though.

Ruby-J

Zaph wrote: »

Well I'm 40, so how you doin'?

lmao!!!!

SMOOTH Zaph!

John Mason

old boy wrote: »

no such thing as love, lust yes, pure animal lust now thats a different ball game

QFT



It does matter what age they are or you, for that matter. As long as you are respected and have the odd dinner cooked for you

Ruby-J

it doenst really matter once you click. although if you are planning to have children its probably best to think would the older man/woman be able to cope with children if theyre 20 years older then you for eg if you were 30 and they were 50 etc. it would have to be taken into perspective, if they would be able to start a family at that later age in life.

But other then that i reckon its whatever makes u both happy really! Never mind what friends say to ye!!! Theyre not in the relationship with you!

John Mason

well, i have a toy boy and we would have the opposite problem when it came to kids. But it isnt an issue for me, anyway

RedXIV

This thread doesn't inspire confidence for young men