Do women like bastards?!

phantomwolf

I'm sure this has been asked before but could not find the tread. I have the feeling that most guys will agree with the assumption that women are more attracted to assholes while women will disagree.
I ask this because I am thinking of putting it to the test for a week or two. Im a nice guy BTW,not to shaby in the looks department but have generally found that the really good looking girls are always with an absolute prick who generally has a car. Im 21 BTW so the car attraction is probably isolated to my age group- which follows the rule "if you have wheels, prepare for some loving"

Dragan

Girls like interesting people.

Maybe be interesting?

Silverfish

Do men like Tuesdays?


Some women do, some women don't.

You're not a 'nice guy' if you're going to act like a 'prick' so you can get 'good looking girls' - the type who go for 'men with cars'.

So, if you're acting like someone you aren't, so you can chase down women for their looks even though you know they wouldn't be interested in you otherwise, then I'm not surprised you've weird assumptions of women.


Oh well, you'll grow out of it, just like women grow out of liking bastards. Good Luck!

phantomwolf

Easy, I personally don't like women who go for guys who are not nice to them. And I prefer a woman who is interesting then just an airhead with a pretty face. What I was trying to figure out is why do many men agree with the thread statement while most women will disagree, and I would think this is fair, no?

Silverfish

phantomwolf wrote: »

Easy, I personally don't like women who go for guys who are not nice to them. And I prefer a woman who is interesting then just an airhead with a pretty face. What I was trying to figure out is why do many men agree with the thread statement while most women will disagree, and I would think this is fair, no?

Yes but, most men know f*ck all about women, to be fair.

The know generalisations, made up in their heads from their mates and so on, and if one woman does x, they think 'All women do x!!'

redcrew

maybe not but they certainly don't go for the nice guy in a group....it's ok... I know I'll be fine when I hit 30 and women are willing to settle...


I am catch btw, nice, funny, handsome

Silverfish

redcrew wrote: »

maybe not but they certainly don't go for the nice guy in a group....

Men don't go for the nice girl in a group either.

RedXIV

Silverfish wrote: »

Men don't go for the nice girl in a group either.

Excellent point

Guys think girls go for the bast**ds but trust me, the girls they get aren't usually worth it. Sure you'll get the odd scenario where an amazing girl is with a twat of a lad, but 9 times of 10, the girl realises what he is.
And the same works vice versa. Gender, while an important differnce, isn't actually that big a difference in how you think.

You would do well to remember that grasshopper

phantomwolf

Silverfish wrote: »

Men don't go for the nice girl in a group either.

That I personally don't believe, I find the really nice girl irresistabele, the problem is alot of guys are of the same opinion and they usually have boyfriends(or girlfriends if your really unlucky). BTW I hope people don't think me a prick based on starting this thread, I just always wondered how the opinion can be so widespread if it was not based in at least some truth.

Silverfish

phantomwolf wrote: »

That I personally don't believe, I find the really nice girl irresistabele, the problem is alot of guys are of the same opinion and they usually have boyfriends(or girlfriends if your really unlucky). BTW I hope people don't think me a prick based on starting this thread, I just always wondered how the opinion can be so widespread if it was not based in at least some truth.

Well, let me explain.

You've heard of the popular opinion "All men are bastards"

Therefore, all women who like men like bastards.

Problem solved, no need to thank me, consultation fees waived this time too.

RedXIV

phantomwolf wrote: »

That I personally don't believe, I find the really nice girl irresistabele, the problem is alot of guys are of the same opinion and they usually have boyfriends(or girlfriends if your really unlucky). BTW I hope people don't think me a prick based on starting this thread, I just always wondered how the opinion can be so widespread if it was not based in at least some truth.

OK mate, your either naive or too good for this planet. i'd happily bet 95% of lads when approached by a group of girls will automatically hone in on the one they find the most attractive. Any guy that disagrees with me is a liar

Silverfish

RedXIV wrote: »

OK mate, your either naive or too good for this planet. i'd happily bet 95% of lads when approached by a group of girls will automatically hone in on the one they find the most attractive.

And just convince themselves she's nice, then when she's not nice, its "all women are bitches".

RedXIV

Silverfish wrote: »

And just convince themselves she's nice, then when she's not nice, its "all women are bitches".

Bingo

redcrew

i tend to reserve judgement til i've actually had a conversation with a girl to see if she's nice or not...attractive girls can become pretty ugly if they aren't nice and the girls you don't notice at first can become stunning...

of course you need a level of physical attraction as well but that works both ways but you need more than that too...

one of my close friends is currently being a prat with a girl who is really pretty, really lovely and really likes him but he'll even talk about other girls when she's around - he wouldn't be with anyone else though. she would clearly be better off with someone else!

phantomwolf

Silverfish wrote: »

And just convince themselves she's nice, then when she's not nice, its "all women are bitches".

No chance, ok i will happily admit to liking attractive girls(shoot me), but having a pretty face only goes so far, and I have found that it is the stereotype blond, fake tan covered daddy girls that while The Metro pretty, are stuck up and bitches because they know they are good looking.
I have met girls that while at first are modaratly attractive, are the sexiest girls alive after 10 minutes talking to them.... maybe its just me.... but as I said the really attractive girls that are also really nice are few and far between, and those I do find are always taken and quite often with a guy who is an ass to her

Abi

Im quite partial to the odd bastard myself.



Not really. No such thing, just a lot of incompatibles trying to force something to work.


+1 to Silverfish

+1 Redcrew

Doctor DooM

phantomwolf wrote: »

No chance, ok i will happily admit to liking attractive girls(shoot me), but having a pretty face only goes so far, and I have found that it is the stereotype blond, fake tan covered daddy girls that while The Metro pretty, are stuck up and bitches because they know they are good looking. I have met girls that while at first are modaratly attractive, are the sexiest girls alive after 10 minutes talking to them.... maybe its just me.... but as I said the really attractive girls that are also really nice are few and far between, and those I do find are always taken and quite often with a guy who is an ass to her

Wow. Digging your grave there.

Generalisations are never good dude.

Yeah sure people have instant attraction to teh hawt but it takes more than that for anything to last.

Caoimhín

Well im nice and i have no luck with the ladies.

Therefore,

Yes, they do like bastards.

Silverfish

Like I've said before, generally, guys who bang on about how nice they are generally aren't nice.

Really nice guys don't know that they're nice, or don't know if they aren't, its just their nature and they do it naturally.

If I had a bloke constantly telling me how nice he is, and constantly advertising himself, I'd be gone like a shot. Its in the actions, not the words.

phantomwolf

SDooM wrote: »

Wow. Digging your grave there.

Generalisations are never good dude.

Yeah sure people have instant attraction to teh hawt but it takes more than that for anything to last.

Your probably right but I think I was already 3 feet under when the thread started so might as well finish the job. What I meant was that this is often the image of "attractive" in papers like in the Metro- this can be seen from the "Miss Bebo next door" pictures in yesterdays papers. But while I know these girls are amazingingly attractive, the majority of girls that I have met that are attractive to look at but not to talk to would fall into that catagory.... so apologies to this catagory and anyone I might have offended

Silverfish

Aww bless.


To be fair, I think you had a point.

Doctor DooM

phantomwolf wrote: »

Your probably right but I think I was already 3 feet under when the thread started so might as well finish the job. What I meant was that this is often the image of "attractive" in papers like in the Metro- this can be seen from the "Miss Bebo next door" pictures in yesterdays papers. But while I know these girls are amazingingly attractive, the majority of girls that I have met that are attractive to look at but not to talk to would fall into that catagory.... so apologies to this catagory and anyone I might have offended

Good save, you may survive yet. lol.

I think it would be perhaps fair to say what you mean is there is nothing more unattractive than an attractive person who knows they are attractive?

That hurt my head

WindSock

Try your social experiment for a week, then report back here witho your findings. Try not to get a black eye though (unless there's a good story to go with it )

phantomwolf

Im thinking "a hard exterior but with a heart of gold. I was abandoned as a child and raised by wolves, I met my sweetheart young but she died in a mysterious train accident, her body was never found and I never gave up hope of finding her- this will explain my constant brudyness and unwilingness to openup with my feelings. Women will want to change me, this rough diamond if you will, and men will want to be me"- I am a bastard and Ireland can take me or leave me, but it does not matter because I don't care


What do you think?:pac:

Caoimhín

phantomwolf wrote: »

Im thinking "a hard exterior but with a heart of gold. I was abandoned as a child and raised by wolves,

Raised by wolves is a bit unbelievable. Go with dolphins.

allabouteve

phantomwolf wrote: »

Im thinking "a hard exterior but with a heart of gold. I was abandoned as a child and raised by wolves, I met my sweetheart young but she died in a mysterious train accident, her body was never found and I never gave up hope of finding her- this will explain my constant brudyness and unwilingness to openup with my feelings. Women will want to change me, this rough diamond if you will, and men will want to be me"- I am a bastard and Ireland can take me or leave me, but it does not matter because I don't care


What do you think?:pac:

Go with it, I see it working.

I prefer nice guys though.

Jemmy

phantomwolf wrote: »

the stereotype blond, fake tan covered daddy girls that while The Metro pretty, are stuck up and bitches because they know they are good looking.

Then why do guys always go for these kinda girls?!

Rozabeez

My observation would be that shallow people like other shallow people, interesting people like other interesting people, and so on.

Caoimhín

Rozabeez wrote: »

My observation would be that shallow people like other shallow people, interesting people like other interesting people, and so on.

I like your logic however; I am a very sexy man but sexy wimmin dont like me, so your theory falls apart.

Rozabeez

Perhaps your opinion of sexy is different to others

pow wow

Aren't all men bastards? *awaits abuse*

Nah, I'm kidding. But bad guys do make things interesting. I think there's a happy medium, someone who treats a girl well but isn't a total drip. I'll let you guys know if I ever find him.

phantomwolf

Jemmy wrote: »

Then why do guys always go for these kinda girls?!

We are taught that we should all find the same thing attractive and that men should only care about sex and what a girl looks like and not what she is like inside. Guys and girls see this in almost all media formats and believe that for them to be normal they must also be attracted to what they are told is beauty.
:rolleyes:
My 2 cents, but could be wrong.

FruitLover

I find that women like men who aren't neurotic losers constantly whining about the 'fact' that women like bastards as an excuse for their lack of success with women.

A good read of this is in order for a few posters here.

Doctor DooM

phantomwolf wrote: »

We are taught that we should all find the same thing attractive and that men should only care about sex and what a girl looks like and not what she is like inside. Guys and girls see this in almost all media formats and believe that for them to be normal they must also be attracted to what they are told is beauty.
:rolleyes:
My 2 cents, but could be wrong.

Meh. The media can feck off. But then, I see evidence tot he contrary of this for most other people every day.

metaoblivia

SDooM wrote: »

I think it would be perhaps fair to say what you mean is there is nothing more unattractive than an attractive person who knows they are attractive?

I disagree with this quote. An attractive person who knows that they're attractive may also know that there's much more to life than simply being attractive. I think this quote assumes that attractive people who are aware that they're attractive place all of their eggs into that one basket, and that's simply not true. It also encourages false modesty, which is just as bad as arrogance in my book.

Edited to add: I don't like bastards, but I do like men who assert themselves, have confidence, and are decisive.

phantomwolf

FruitLover wrote: »

I find that women like men who aren't neurotic losers constantly whining about the 'fact' that women like bastards as an excuse for their lack of success with women.

A good read of this is in order for a few posters here.

nice website- though in my defence I don't have trouble with girls, I have found that confidence and being easy going gets you far. The idea of me posting the thread was to determine whether being a bastard- gets you that little bit extra and if it explains why some girls stick to guys who make them cry every time they go out( i see this with some friends on a weekly basis), I always assumed they stayed together for the make up sex. But I know if a girl acted the bitch to me I would put her on the first train to dumpsville

And to be clear there is a huge difference between being 'nice' and 'not being a bastard'. Men and women should have both these qualitites.
But I do beleive that the nicer the guy, the lower is chances are.

Doctor DooM

metaoblivia wrote: »

I disagree with this quote. An attractive person who knows that they're attractive may also know that there's much more to life than simply being attractive. I think this quote assumes that attractive people who are aware that they're attractive place all of their eggs into that one basket, and that's simply not true. It also encourages false modesty, which is just as bad as arrogance in my book.

Edited to add: I don't like bastards, but I do like men who assert themselves, have confidence, and are decisive.

... it was a joke..?

IMHO, assholes are assholes, doesn't matter if there is a pretty face mounted on it.

FruitLover

FruitLover wrote: »

I find that women like men who aren't neurotic losers constantly whining about the 'fact' that women like bastards as an excuse for their lack of success with women.

+1,000,000

metaoblivia

SDooM wrote: »

... it was a joke..?

IMHO, assholes are assholes, doesn't matter if there is a pretty face mounted on it.

I'm aware it was a joke. There's no need to get defensive. I was responding to the quote in general, as more than a few people seem to agree with it. And I said nothing about a pretty face making up for a serious personality flaw. I simply said that I believe it's wrong to assume that everyone who's confident in their appearance is arrogant, as that quote suggested.

Earthhorse

I can absolutely confirm, once and for all, that this is not true. I was born out of wedlock and I've had damn all luck with women.

Silverfish wrote: »

And just convince themselves she's nice, then when she's not nice, its "all women are bitches".

Actually, it's all women are crazy.

RedXIV wrote: »

Bingo

Never tried it meself, but I guess if you like older women...

FruitLover wrote: »

A good read of this is in order for a few posters here.

Should I post Ladder Theory? Should I?

The problem is really with the language used. I was talking to a girl I knew once about her ex whom she described as a "jerk". I asked was he really a jerk seeing as she went out with him and she said no. It's just a handy description for someone you're pissed off with, whether pretty permanently (because they're you're ex) or temporarily (because you had an argument). Guys hear this and think, "Oh, he's a bastard, why is she going out with a bastard?" (Hint: she isn't).

This leads us neatly on to the second point which is that no one can be summed up in a word. Yeah, sure, maybe you're nice, maybe you're also creepy and possessive. Yeah, sure, maybe that guy's a bit of a prick, maybe he is also interesting and adventurous.

Let me caveat all this by saying I do think there are a significant amount of women out there making bad relationship choices and then giving the rest of you a bad name. Or maybe their number is not so significant and they just do an untold amount of bitching about their choices.

There is probably an equivalent for men though I don't know what that is. Dating crazy girls (oh God, I have become that which I parodied) or gold diggers or cold hearted bitches or something.

Be an asshole OP, or don't. The point is to never let your hatred of the opposite gender go whilst forming healthy relationships with them.

gabgab

phantomwolf wrote: »

gets you that little bit extra

Are you talking about threesomes etc etc?? :D

This makes for pretty interesting reading, but here is my take on it, in life ehavious often breeds behavious, while I have met lots of stuck up women I have met lots of lovely pretty fun sexy women too.

In life we all want what we cant have at times, ut to answer your question, you cant really act like an asshole for long, they will figure it out, and as someone who prides himself on being a dick :D I have lots of friends who laugh and say I have a heart of gold and laugh at my suggestion that I am a cool, edgy bad guy,

My honest advice to you, is to be fun, and say hello, so many lads that moan about not meeting sexy nice girls wont go over and say hi to them and when they do, they are hammered, or too rattly and nervous. Go up, be fun and say hi, and if they are rude and ignorant close the conversation with this favourite of mine,

"So, your doing that really cool :rolleyes: ignorant thing....... Hope its working out for you" little nod and walk away

King of Kings

this type of thread intrigues me. most women like some but not all men and most men like some but not all women.
The dating scene is the fun in figuring this out. It's not mathematics it's trial and error with a double portion of hormones
not easy but simple

if everybody liked the "type" it wouldn't be interesting would it?

at 21 if you knew all the answers then what's point?
stop analyzing and have some fun.

don't blame failings (if any) on generalisations.

moco

Silverfish wrote: »

Like I've said before, generally, guys who bang on about how nice they are generally aren't nice.

Really nice guys don't know that they're nice, or don't know if they aren't, its just their nature and they do it naturally.

If I had a bloke constantly telling me how nice he is, and constantly advertising himself, I'd be gone like a shot. Its in the actions, not the words.

So true.

BisexualLad

I like bastards!;)

Wibbs

Silverfish wrote: »

Like I've said before, generally, guys who bang on about how nice they are generally aren't nice.

Really nice guys don't know that they're nice, or don't know if they aren't, its just their nature and they do it naturally.

If I had a bloke constantly telling me how nice he is, and constantly advertising himself, I'd be gone like a shot. Its in the actions, not the words.

Nail on the bleedin head.

I think it's down to definitions. I have noticed a tendency when guys self describe as nice guys, they're using nice as an excuse for being insecure behavior. They also tend to describe confident guys who are successful with women as bastards regardless of whether they are or not.

Women like men*. Simple as. They don't like boys. Boys are insecure to a damaging level. Nice guys are more like boys and indeed so are bad boys. They're both insecure but bad boys have the appearance of some of the traits of men so bypass the filter. Hence the bad boy phase for some until they see beyond the obvious. Some keep on the bad boy phase and make bad choices but it's always the woman's fault if she repeats that. Fault is too loaded a word. Responsibility more like. If as a person you repeat bad relationship choices then beware the next time you feel serious "chemistry" for someone. That is a surefire guarantee that that person will repeat the pattern, as the chemistry means they plug into that bad template.

* Very vague definition. Men are confident. Men are respectful of others regardless of gender. Men are sexually open, but not tacky. Men are emotionally stable. Men are loyal. Men are supportive even if it's not to their direct benefit. Men will defend their position and the position of those they love. Men are unselfcentered and unselfish. Men know what they want and strive for it. Men have and establish boundaries, but know when to give as well as take. Men know themselves pretty well but never give up trying to know themselves and those they love more.

If you're like the above, even sailing close to the general area of above then women will find you attractive even if you're a munter.

That's a good definition of women to boot(minus the emotionally stable. that's too much to ask... :D(now I'm dead...)).

Hell that's what everyone should strive for.

The Recliner

Wibbs wrote: »

Nail on the bleedin head.

I think it's down to definitions. I have noticed a tendency when guys self describe as nice guys, they're using nice as an excuse for being insecure behavior. They also tend to describe confident guys who are successful with women as bastards regardless of whether they are or not.

Women like men*. Simple as. They don't like boys. Boys are insecure to a damaging level. Nice guys are more like boys and indeed so are bad boys. They're both insecure but bad boys have the appearance of some of the traits of men so bypass the filter. Hence the bad boy phase for some until they see beyond the obvious. Some keep on the bad boy phase and make bad choices but it's always the woman's fault if she repeats that. Fault is too loaded a word. Responsibility more like. If as a person you repeat bad relationship choices then beware the next time you feel serious "chemistry" for someone. That is a surefire guarantee that that person will repeat the pattern, as the chemistry means they plug into that bad template.

* Very vague definition. Men are confident. Men are respectful of others regardless of gender. Men are sexually open, but not tacky. Men are emotionally stable. Men are loyal. Men are supportive even if it's not to their direct benefit. Men will defend their position and the position of those they love. Men are unselfcentered and unselfish. Men know what they want and strive for it. Men have and establish boundaries, but know when to give as well as take. Men know themselves pretty well but never give up trying to know themselves and those they love more.

If you're like the above, even sailing close to the general area of above then women will find you attractive even if you're a munter.

That's a good definition of women to boot(minus the emotionally stable. that's too much to ask... :D(now I'm dead...)).

Hell that's what everyone should strive for.

The man is a genius

star-pants

The Recliner wrote: »

The man is a genius

agreed

I don't go specifically for 'bad' guys, but I've been mistreated by a few - did I deserve it? No. Did I look for it? Nope. Would I go for it again if I'd known what they were really like? Nope.

p.s. aye us wimmins are a bit on the crazy side (even if only speaking for myself!)

GirlInterrupted

The problem with some 'bastards' is some of them start out seeming like nice guys and then when your hooked the true nature becomes clear. Most guys are nice and most girls are nice, not insecure nice, just decent.

Dragan

There is a big difference between being a nice guy, being a bastard and what most people are, which is a bit of both.

Time for some generalisations but i have found these to be pretty true.

A "nice guy" will tend to sit there and bang on about some chick he digs going out with an asshole even though nice guy treats her really well as a friend.

Here's the thing, if you like a lass then do her the favour and differentiate her from your "friends" catagory in an obvious way that lets you know you like her. No point in dreaming that she will see the "you" inside. Take some responsibility, man up and confess you like someone. It's amazing how well that works.

Sure, nice guys are great, i'm nice sometimes, but nobody likes a pussy.

Wibbs

And being her "friend" while hoping for more is very dishonest, hence women are repelled by it.

Wibbs

The Recliner wrote: »

The man is a genius

I'm still working on that definition though. Loong way to go in some areas. The journeys fun mind.