Are you really happy?

Elessar

Actually I'm not. And I admire people who are not part of this meaningless rat race and happier for it.

You know, I saw a TV documentary a few years back that followed new inventors and their inventions.

They had one guy and his family in the south of England. He was in his early 30s, clever and had invented an amazing furniture/stove piece that he was trying to get recognised and produced.

He had an amazing family with a beautiful young blonde wife, two beautiful blonde sons and they all seemed really happy. He was amazing with his hands and built everything himself, including his small home (shed on steroids!) on I believe his old back garden while he rented his main house for funds.

Just looking at this family and their simple way of life, no playstations, no TV, no hour long commute to work, no boring same as every other day job - they would all often surf at the beach nearby, and rely on each other as entertainment. They only concentrated on what truly mattered, and were really happy because of it.

I know there is no fairytale lifestyle, but what this man had was amazing for how simple and pure it all was. He had the ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

I've often said that when I get to his age that is the lifestyle I would want to live. Living and not just existing.

We'll see what happens.

i71jskz5xu42pb

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

I think leaving the office and just doing what your man in 'Falling Down' did would be deadly! :cool:

Buying a breakfast hamburger after 11am?

Easy now.

Ross_Mahon

Darius Wet Wintergreen wrote: »

Buying a breakfast hamburger after 11am?

Easy now.

*Pulls out an UZI*

amacachi

OP, why not just go on the dole, surely all that free time and money for doing nothing would give you way more pride than whoring yourself to "some company". What did you expect growing up? Maybe be a farmer, bit of variety at least, never know if you're goin to get paid or not. Or an artist. Sure why not throw it all in and live on the street for a while to follow whatever dream you have durin this little mid-life crisis of yours.

Thrill

I really loved my job for the first four years or so. I couldn't wait for the holidays to end so I could get back to work. I used to be bored out of my mind hanging around.

For the last three though, it's become just a job. It's not boring or anything but I really look forward to every holiday that comes up and when they are over I don't feel like going back to work. I've even thought of quitting once or twice the last couple of years. I'm glad I didn't though because I'd be flat broke.

mise_me_fein

monkey24 wrote: »

Ha, I love it when people reply to these kind of threads with "Well you could be in Burma" or "Go live in Baghdad you moaner".

Great input, you are really changing people's mind sets with that one.

Man-1 - "I am really unhappy my career is going nowhere"
Man-2 - "Well you could have aids so shut up moaner"

A lot of people are unhappy and they are not moaners for bringing it up. The fact they are posting about it could be deemed as a first step. I applaud anyone who openly admits they are not happy and want more. Hopefully these people will get the support of intelligent others to begin on a more fulfilling journey instead of idiots telling them its a lot better than living in Iraq. If a lot more people went out and achieved what they dreamed off then perhaps those dreams involve helping others or are not so fortunate.

Que "Shut up you loser what about all those people in China killed in that earthquake, you moaner"

Ok, that´s a dig at me then.

Right then, surely if you´re not happy you should be confiding with real people in the real world with this real problem. What do you think? I mean an idiot like me, doesn´t believe you should look for support from the internet as a first port of call. That´s just me though.

Is anybody really happy? It depends on what happiness is to you and how you look on a situation.

Fact is, overall most people are in a better situation in this country compared to times past. People forget that and raise their expectations of what they want. But you can actually get the finger out and do something about it other than going on about it here.

What good is it posting it up here and then going back to being depressed about doing the 5 day week like everyone else.

I´m not feeling sorry for anyone. Everyone has a sad story don´t they? and not being happy about modern life, well.....there are worse complaints.

If someone is in a rut, just get out of it and challenge yourself.

Gone West

mise_me_fein wrote: »

gets me a little angry to see Mammy´s boys wimps feeling sorry for themselves

Dear angry guy:
Wow you're an angry angry person.
I'd suggest some anger management classes, but I think you're probably gone too far. Now don't argue on the internet, there are no winners, just people who come across as idiots!
Venting your anger on the internet is not a good way to de-stress.
Not that it matters, but this will the second time in as many posts where I've pointed out that I don't feel sorry for myself, and that this post is not about me personally, its about the commuter lifestyle of others.
Not that it matters, but fyi I did actually say something to the nicest looking of the hostile train goers who did give up his seat to her in the end.
And yes, I will stand by whatever I say on here 100% .
I've been on the boards 10 years, and a bunch of people know me from them.
I'll happily re-iterate anything in person thanks.

To the rest of yous: Good replies guys this is exactly what I wanted, to see peoples thoughts on this.
I'm a self-employed IT consultant, and I haven't worked a "PAYE" job in 6 years and I'm very happy with my life!

mise_me_fein

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

Dear angry guy:
Wow you're an angry angry person.
I'd suggest some anger management classes, but I think you're probably gone too far. Now don't argue on the internet, there are no winners, just people who come across as idiots!
Venting your anger on the internet is not a good way to de-stress.
Not that it matters, but this will the second time in as many posts where I've pointed out that I don't feel sorry for myself, and that this post is not about me personally, its about the commuter lifestyle of others.
Not that it matters, but fyi I did actually say something to the nicest looking of the hostile train goers who did give up his seat to her in the end.
And yes, I will stand by whatever I say on here 100% .
I've been on the boards 10 years, and a bunch of people know me from them.
I'll happily re-iterate anything in person thanks.

To the rest of yous: Good replies guys this is exactly what I wanted, to see peoples thoughts on this.
I'm a self-employed IT consultant, and I haven't worked a "PAYE" job in 6 years and I'm very happy with my life!

Thanks for your thoughts......you remind me of an English football pundit. Just get off the fence and give a real opinion.

Well I´m not angry, maybe I just use powerful expressive words that convey an opinion.

I´m Eamonn Dunphy, you´re Jamie Redknapp.

S.I.R

ill never be happy in work , for the simple fact of , you cant get an apprenticeship in racing cars or such.


self funding is a pain and nobody sponsers so yeah....


i guess ill never be happy untill i win the euro-millions. I wont hold my breath

Dudess

tHE vAGGABOND wrote: »

Figure out what you would really like to do, and then do your best to get into that job. Forget about money and conditions - what you want to do [initially]is get some experience in your new chosen field, whatever the cost.

I know exactly what I'd like to do - the openings aren't there.

mise_me_fein wrote: »

If you were standing why didn´t you say something........another sheep in the pack......quite noisey on the boards but a wimp on the street.

You didn´t really care about that pregnant woman............oh that´s terrible is not enough.

You sense that the post was hostile? Maybe it was, gets me a little angry to see Mammy´s boys wimps feeling sorry for themselves when man, there´s a lot worse stuff happening.

A chill pill, I wonder would you have the balls to say that in the real world.....I´d guess not since you wouldn´t say anything to anyone and instead left a pregnant woman stranded......human contact with people you don´t know............does it just like, "Freak you out man"?

By the way, I wasn´t replying to your post at the start of my post.....please do not assume it´s always about you

Any more blatant trolling/abuse like that and you can take a break from After Hours.

Darius Wet Wintergreen wrote: »

Somebody with sense. If they rest of you put as much in doing something about your situation* as you do into moaning about it you would not be feeling so sorry for yourself.

* that could be anything from getting a better position to opting out of the current system but living with the consequences either way.

Sometimes there isn't actually a whole lot you can do about it. I love these assumptions that there is - usually held by those who are lucky enough to have their dream job.

trout wrote: »

I'm genuinely really happy ... I sense this thread is not for me

Damn you!!! :mad:

amacachi wrote: »

OP, why not just go on the dole, surely all that free time and money for doing nothing would give you way more pride than whoring yourself to "some company". What did you expect growing up? Maybe be a farmer, bit of variety at least, never know if you're goin to get paid or not. Or an artist. Sure why not throw it all in and live on the street for a while to follow whatever dream you have durin this little mid-life crisis of yours.

Oh poor Fuzzylogic - no matter how clear he tries to make it that this is a general commentary, not his own personal experiences, people still don't bother reading his posts properly. I know the feeling, Fuzzy.

mise_me_fein wrote: »

Ok, that´s a dig at me then.

Right then, surely if you´re not happy you should be confiding with real people in the real world with this real problem. What do you think? I mean an idiot like me, doesn´t believe you should look for support from the internet as a first port of call. That´s just me though.

Is anybody really happy? It depends on what happiness is to you and how you look on a situation.

Fact is, overall most people are in a better situation in this country compared to times past. People forget that and raise their expectations of what they want. But you can actually get the finger out and do something about it other than going on about it here.

What good is it posting it up here and then going back to being depressed about doing the 5 day week like everyone else.

I´m not feeling sorry for anyone. Everyone has a sad story don´t they? and not being happy about modern life, well.....there are worse complaints.

If someone is in a rut, just get out of it and challenge yourself.

So it bothers you that people are posting on the internet about it - I really cannot see what's so bothersome about that, but anyway... Why are you posting on the internet to refute it so?

Oh and don't say you're not angry - you are. You said so.

monkey24

I agree with the sentiments of what you are saying. You just seem to be quite aggressive in the way you post. Everyone has the ability to create a life they want. If you are not currently doing what you so desire, then go about changing things. No matter how small the first step just do something.

Happiness is just a state. Many people delay there happiness for the sake of goals. You will often hear people saying "Once i get that next pay rise i will be truly happy". The problem with that way of thinking is they have already decided to forgo their happiness until they get a pay rise. Why not choose to be happy now and maintain that happiness when working towards the rise. The same theory can be put in place for any state. People need to learn to control their emotions or their emotions will control them.

mise_me_fein wrote: »

Ok, that´s a dig at me then.

Right then, surely if you´re not happy you should be confiding with real people in the real world with this real problem. What do you think? I mean an idiot like me, doesn´t believe you should look for support from the internet as a first port of call. That´s just me though.

Is anybody really happy? It depends on what happiness is to you and how you look on a situation.

Fact is, overall most people are in a better situation in this country compared to times past. People forget that and raise their expectations of what they want. But you can actually get the finger out and do something about it other than going on about it here.

What good is it posting it up here and then going back to being depressed about doing the 5 day week like everyone else.

I´m not feeling sorry for anyone. Everyone has a sad story don´t they? and not being happy about modern life, well.....there are worse complaints.

If someone is in a rut, just get out of it and challenge yourself.

TerrorFirmer

The problem is we all need to work to further the world. If everyone did the minimum, innovation and advancement would be significantly slower and in some cases probably stagnant. We work for money in order to enjoy the time we do have off; if we didn't, we wouldn't have the means to enjoy as much the extra free time we have. I'd rather have two days off utilizing them to the fullest extent of my hard earned money then several days just moping around and wishing I could do something but couldn't owing to lack of means. Of course that depends on your interpretation of what enjoyment is, I'm sure to some lying around in the sun all day and admiring the beauty of the world is what it's all about. To me personally I like going out with the other half, buying nice things, and so on, all of which cost money.

I don't really stop and think along your lines, sometimes indeed you do stop and wonder in the one life we lead why we enslave ourselves to stress and expectation, but at the end of the day the world is the way it is and if you're not with it, you loose out. Unless you're exceptionally lucky in so far as you manage to win the lotto, a huge inheritance etc. You know what I mean.

Closing Doors

This guy speaketh the truth

RedXIV

Well i'm perfectly happy at the moment, love my job, probably coz it's a temp. But got alot of uncles prepping me for work with them in later years so i've plenty of options waiting for me. Keeping options open has been my key to happiness. If that helps anyone, heppy for ye

Silent Partner

This has been a really good thread and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
I have worked in Dublin and done the commute thing for quite a while. In fact, at one stage I was doing Portlaoise to Dublin and back 6 days a week. There is something about the sitting in traffic, idling along at 5mph with no sign of relief that is soul destroying. The worst I ever had it was working in Ballymount industrial area. We started our day at 8am and finished at 4pm to give us an extra hour to beat the traffic but as I left in the evening, every way out was solidly blocked. It was actually scary at times and once or twice, I felt claustrophobic.
(Incidentally and as an aside, I worked in Dublin City Centre and it would take my collegue almost as long to get home to Swords as it would for me to get to Portlaoise!)

However, to move away from traffic, my own personal view is that I try to see a job as a means to an end. I work to live, I don't live to work. I am saying this now and I am having some serious difficulties in my own job. The boss is playing mind games with me and the axe is getting ever closer to my neck. But what do I do? I used to invest so much in my job. I used it as the barometer for my happiness and my self worth. I've tried to move away from that now. It's not easy as you spend more time in work than you do anywhere else in a week.
If you can have a situation where you do something acceptable, not ideal, for 40+ hours a week and then make the most of your free time to chase what you really love, you can have some degree of hapiness. Go travelling, go fly a kite. This country has become so obsessed with material worth since the Celtic Tiger started roaring. I see it day in day out. Who's got a new car? Who's got a new house? He has how much in the bank?
Spiritual worth and hapiness may not pay the bills but it is what is truely important. Give yourself to others and you'll receive.

Also, for all the people who say, "It could be worse, you could have AIDS" or whatever, I'm reminded of an analogy once said to me; I'm lying in bed with a sprained ankle. The guy next to me has just had his leg amputated. No matter how much sympathy I feel for him, it's not going to make my sprained ankle hurt any less!

Gone West

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

The problem is we all need to work to further the world.

From a material point of view, yes.
From a spiritual point of view, no.

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

We work for money in order to enjoy the time we do have off; if we didn't, we wouldn't have the means to enjoy as much the extra free time we have. I'd rather have two days off utilizing them to the fullest extent of my hard earned money then several days just moping around and wishing I could do something but couldn't owing to lack of means.

You should try to find some hobbies which aren't so dependant on money, or else find a way to enjoy them without paying money. One example would be to get a job in whatever it is that you enjoy doing.
This can be achieved unless your hobbies are specifically buying the latest and greatest of everything.

I just think that people shouldn't be happy with meagre time off in order to spend their wealth.


@Silent Partner, great post.

token56

I have just joined the rat race if you will however I will not be here for long as it is only work experience. But I am currently commuting from Portlaoise to Dublin 5 days a week, to a job which bores me silly. I also work a second job on the weekend which I actually enjoy so I dont mind that. But from this experience I have seen a small glimer of what is so manys people lives are and what mine could be like permently like in the not to distant future. It is certainly not something which I would look forward and will try my hardest to stay awat from. I will continue with the rat race for now as it is only temporary and is necessary for my greater good.

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

We should be out enjoying ourselves all the time, spending just enough time at work to earn money to buy basic food/shelter and pay for entertainment and your kids' same. The rest of our time I believe that we should spend doing whatever we *really* want to do.

What you talk about here I respect however I do not feel I could ever like that. Simply because in anything I do I always want to push myself and do my best whether it be in acadmeic, sport or work. This is what I enjoy in life, the challenge. I need to be working towards something bigger or better. I would not consider a job where I work to earn the basic food/shelter etc as pushing myself so I dont think I could live as you do. Now during the process of me trying to reach my goals I may have to endure some aspects of the life you described however if it is necessary for me to move ahead then I will do it. I do my current work experience because it is required for me to move through college which is another challenge for me.

This is the way I see and will live life as its the only way I feel I can. Not because society determines that I must get a job and do whatever but because if I dont have something to work towards or for then I dont see a reason for living.

I realise this may sound like a sad life, but if it allows me to continue on and stops me from doing anything which will make others sad so be it

token56

token56 wrote: »

Not because society determines that I must get a job and do whatever but because if I dont have something to work towards or for then I dont see a reason for living.

What'll happen when you retire?

Gone West

token56 wrote: »

I would not consider a job where I work to earn the basic food/shelter etc as pushing myself so I dont think I could live as you do.

Ok Just for the record in case people are thinking I live under a wooden canoe in the mountains and don't contribute to scoiety!.... My personal situ is this:

Im not exactly happy, but not unhappy either. I do have an end game in sight and am close enough to it too.
I have a well paying IT consultancy where I am self employed and I do work in Dublin. I dont do the usual commute however, I cycle to work. I pay 50 euro a week rent(share a v nice house with my friends), and I live on about 70 quid a week for food/misc. Thats a total monthly expenditure of about €500. I eat great food, my hobbies are free, as are my friends and girlfriend! My transport is free, occasionally a few of us will head up to x location to do y outdoor hobby(surf/kayak/climb/walking/camping/etc). Cost would be maybe a fiver each on petrol. I'm busy, I'm never bored for anything to do. I am earning about 10 times more than I am spending, as I am living very cheaply. Irish €€ goes a lot further in other countries. I see people spend €5 on a "modern" coffee that they dont finish and €6 on two halved pieces of bread with various riny portions of meat and filling between them. Do you know how much (perfect) coffee you would get for €5 in Brazil? Do you know how many steak dinners you would get for €6 in Uruguay? We're not living with value in our lives on the most part in Ireland.
When I have enough saved (easy goal, very close, no liabilities, so I will achieve it very soon) I will be moving to settle somewhere quiet (not saying where ), peaceful where I can relax, build a house, take my time, think about things, go for walks, swims, etc.

I feel I am justified in working in the rat race, since I'm only in it for a while.
Thats me. I know its nowhere near perfect, but its about as good as I can make it.

Whats your life story so far, and what do you want to do?
I'd love to hear more about real life things like this from all of yous, not just the usual AH "paris hilton's vag gets photo'd coming out of a taxi" type threads!

token56

Myth wrote: »

What'll happen when you retire?

This may be better suited for personal issues but since the thread is here I shall explain. Basically I am only still here because of my family. I battled with my pessimitic outlook on life fo quiet a while now and it came to a for front a few years back, after some incidents I saw how much hurt I was causing my family and knew I couldn't continue doing what I was doing. I got help counselling etc and it did help. But I decided that I was not going to be getting my way, the quick way out. Since then I have decided to try and find alternative motives to help. I knew I could use my desire of wanting to push myself etc so that is what has happened and is how I am leading my life. I know what people are thinking how can he want to push himself yet be so pessimistic and I dont really know how to explain it, but its just the way I am.

Anyway I honestly dont know what I will do when I retire whether I will try to find another challenge or I might have a family and keep going for them. In all honestly I hope that someday something happens which changes my outllook for the better but its hard to see anything that will do that.

Also sorry if this is depressing anyone

I should probably say that I am not completely depressed all the time in fact I would consider myself as that, I am content with my life at the moment and dont mind doing what I am doing.

Z

fair play man, at least you've kicked it and are improving yourself, thats no small act and is commendable.

Very good post OP - reminded me of Evan McGregor's speech at the end of trainspotting.

It made me think too actually. Ok, I am in a job that I never thought I'd end up in when I was growing up and in school. Am I happy? Yes I think so but I do say that with alot of doubt. I do enjoy my job, I am on a pretty decent salary for my age, I do enjoy the atmosphere & the people are all really nice. So why the doubt - the economy? Being overly busy?Because people have left/are leaving? No its none of them really .

I think it comes down to what you thought you were going to be and regret. When im having a bad day I always think about what I should be doing etc but when I am having a good day it never comes into my mind. So I think the negativity really comes down to what you are doing and not how many hours your puttting in. Although Mise Me Fein did make a plonker out of himself in this thread, he does indeed have a point. There are alot of people worse off in the world and we should be happy with what we have. We do have alot more free time then most people around the world in regards to time off etc.(This isn't a rant at the OP as I have felt like what he put down on paper many of times!). So I enjoy life to the max with my time off and if it involves me coming into work like Shane McGowan on a Monday morning so be it!

I will say this however, if you really hate your job. Just leave! As the OP said, you spend most of your life there! You have one shot at life ladies and gents so enjoy it to the best of your ability.

Ponster

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

But did you ever think that you don't need to be working like this?
Most people tolerate their jobs, and get on with it because they need to pay the bills and because its the norm. Its the respectable thing to do. Work, earn money, buy food, buy services, buy "stuff" and go home, enjoy the spoils for the 5% of your life that you're not working or thinking about work or preparing or recovering from work.

I moved to France 10 years ago. People here voted to get paid less money but to have more time off. So I earn a lot less than the average Irish telecom engineer but I do have 11 weeks paid holidays per year.

I work in an office but wear what I like.

As a 'cadre' I set my own hours. I can work 10 hours per week or 50 as long as the work gets done.

I walk 35 minutes home from work through Paris every evening.

Life is good

Z

Ponster wrote: »

Life is good

Sounds good dude, sounds great.
(I used to play BF2 with you )

Glowing

I have to join the happy bandwagon

Can't complain really. I have a nice, well paid job working with people I get on with and can have a bit of craic. I live in a nice house with a great boyfriend - my family are happy and healthy and we all get on very well. I've done a lot of travelling so I can appreciate everything I have given I've seen so many people who have nothing, and I mean nothing.

Oh and I cycle to work so don't need to put up with traffic-rage!

Can't really complain ..... life is good.

Ponster

Z wrote: »

Sounds good dude, sounds great.
(I used to play BF2 with you )

Really? Were we good together? Was I using my 'ptegan' nick ?

Ahh the BF2 days. The forum has been dead for 6 months now. When BF3 comes along I'll fire it up again.

unreggd

im happy enough yeah. I always have new jobs tho, cos im a student

I work in a grocery shop as supervisor, so mostly on tills

Staff are all sound, bosses aint too bossy, easy to get there/back, and nice perk of free lunch from the deli [im bulkin up :P]

i work, they pay me, so yes, i'm happy enough

Havermeyer

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

Just don't go to work anymore and then infect the work accounting system with a computer virus, which will round down fractions of a cent from accrual of interest and transfer the leftovers into your own account over a period of years, leaving you with lot of cash windfall undetected by the corporation.

Just make sure there's a nut case in your job who is not happy with his current predicament and only needs a little nudge to push him over the edge and burn the company down. Just in case your plan fails.

flibbertyjibbet

Well looking on the brightside of all the points you've made:
1.You don't sell yourself and they don't own you. You apply to work somewhere, they let you know the tasks that you will be expected to do and the money you'll get in return. If you don't like the conditions, you can turn down the job. If you find you don't like your job, you can leave.
If your circumstances stop you from leaving, I agree with dublin dude that you have to take action - you can stay at your job for just as long as you need to while you get another qualification or find another job.
2.There has to be a structured day, a set amount of time off etc or else there would just be chaos and hardly anything would get done. Some people would end up doing a lot more than their fair share etc. Plus a certain amount of routine can be a good thing.
3. Maybe houses look similar on the outside but they're people's homes. A place to get away from the world and add your own mark.
4.Work isn't all about stress and making money, it helps your self esteem because you know your making a contribution and your doing something valuable, you know your supporting yourself and being independant, like I said it gives you a bit of structure and gets you out of the house and it's a place for interacting with people and helps stop you feeling isloated.
Work isnt a waste of a life, you've spent years making a valuable contribution whatever you did, helping those who need it with the tax you paid and helping your self esteem.

Terry

I hate being a tiler. I really do not enjoy tiling. It pisses me off.
However, it's a trade, it's easy money and I just keep falling back into it for the money.

This week I'm working in Louth.
It's only an hour away and it would take me the same amount of time to get into the city centre for an office job and Dublin is only 10 miles from where I live.

I'm not gonna get into the details of everything here because it's not a blog, but I have trouble travelling.
This job I'm currently doing has done me the world of good though and I'm enjoying tiling again.

There is no pressure on us to finish it because the owners of the house won't be moving in for a few months, so the fact that we will probably be there until Wednesday is not a problem to them.
To add to that, the people across the road saw the work we have already done and have asked us to do some work in their house.
In the current economic climate, this is a bonus.
We also put a great price on it, so things are starting to look up after a 6 month slump.