Too Posh to Push???

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 1:42pm #1

okay, im only in the early 20's, and dont plan on having sprogs for a good while BUT im convinced that when the time comes there is no way ill be pushing em out, c section all the way for me.

people who are opting for the c section (out of choice and not necessity) take alot of criticism, and i just want to know what people think???

RedXIV · 13-05-2008 1:44pm

I'm a guy and as far as i'm concerned, fair play. you get the kid out whatever way ya can just leave me out of it

13-05-2008 1:46pm

Why do you feel that way?
How many children do you ideally want?

Lil' Smiler · 13-05-2008 1:46pm

Whatever way is safest and is best suited at the time

dosed · 13-05-2008 1:46pm

i think *choosing* to have a C-section is stupid. why would you volunteer for all that extra pain and recovery time when you have a newborn to look after? and not being able to drive for 6 weeks! gah how annoying!

personally I would never want a C section because of all the added risks of surgary and the whole experience of it. not being able to hold the baby for long after its born etc.

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 1:49pm

my bf agrees that its a good idea!! he watched a natural birth and doesnt want to see me in such pain....or to see my downstairs in pain!!!

i just dont want to split, stretch etc.
ill happily live with the scar and the painful healing time.
i dont plan on having to many....i suppose 2/3???if even???i really want to adopt also!

tribulus · 13-05-2008 1:50pm

That exact thread title was done in the parenting forum before, it's a big thread.

PurplePrincess · 13-05-2008 1:52pm

Labour looks gruesome but I think it's preferable than having an operation unecessarily. I think all those celebrities have a lot to answer for as they make a c-section look like the easy option when in reality it's not when you take recovery times, lack of mobility, driving etc in to account. Most of us won't have a few nannies/nurses/cook/personal trainer etc at our beck and call. Just my 2c.

delly · 13-05-2008 1:52pm

Whatever about the risks to yourself, you are also placing a risk to your baby having breathing problems such as transient tachypnea, whereby the baby hasn't had time to transition properly from the womb to the outside world. There are varying degrees of this syndrome which can be fatal in extreme circumstances.

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 1:53pm

dosed wrote: »

i think *choosing* to have a C-section is stupid. why would you volunteer for all that extra pain and recovery time when you have a newborn to look after? and not being able to drive for 6 weeks! gah how annoying!

personally I would never want a C section because of all the added risks of surgary and the whole experience of it. not being able to hold the baby for long after its born etc.

well with paternity leave available these days looking after a newborn shouldnt be as hard as doing it solo.
also, hired help could be an option.

listen being out of the driving seat for six week is not as bad as youd think, the exhaustion of a newborn wouldnt exactly entice your to be driving around...besides, tesco deliver to the door!!!!

Red Hand · 13-05-2008 1:57pm

delly wrote: »

Whatever about the risks to yourself, you are also placing a risk to your baby having breathing problems such as transient tachypnea, whereby the baby hasn't had time to transition properly from the womb to the outside world. There are varying degrees of this syndrome which can be fatal in extreme circumstances.

Yes, I've heard of that. One contributing factor to breathing problems is that the fluid in the baby's lungs is squeezed out as the baby is pushed out of the womb, but in a C section, some fluid often remains as the baby's trunk isn't squeezed.

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 1:59pm

before people start to get angry as i kinda sense it being a bit topical......its only my opinion and what i want to do, im not saying everyone should go out and do it cause its a personal choice!well, sometimes not but y'all get where im going with this

hunnymonster · 13-05-2008 2:03pm

do you love it? wrote: »

well with paternity leave available these days looking after a newborn shouldnt be as hard as doing it solo.
also, hired help could be an option.

How much paternity leave do you think people get?

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 2:05pm

ill be honest....i dont know.
thats why hired help is an option!

Kinetic^ · 13-05-2008 2:08pm

Paternity leave is something like 4 days I thought. Anything after that is unpaid or annual leave. Not 100% sure on the 4 days though.

Iago · 13-05-2008 2:09pm

lol, you get around a week paternity leave...IF your company provides it, they don't have to and a lot don't.

So as well as the expense of a newborn you're going to take the cost of hired help on board as well? I don't think you've thought this out at all.

Really if your biggest concern around childbirth is avoiding a few stretch marks you're not thinking about the bigger picture.

Zeppie · 13-05-2008 2:09pm

Paternity leave in my company is 3 days only ...

Puddleduck · 13-05-2008 2:11pm

I was watching the ch embarrasing bodies one on vaginas and oh dear god, Im terrified of ever having kids While the idea of doing it naturally would be ideal Id be left with no sex life, a fanny like a wizards sleeve and wetting/pooing myself involuntarily....Id imagine my other half would leave me

13-05-2008 2:14pm

Why would I scar my self permanently and prolong my recovery time from what is supposed to be a process my body was built for.
Granted I will try everything in my power to give birth naturally but if it in the end a section is medically needed then I will have one.

I'm really hoping everything I do in preparation will help and also really wishing my mothers genes/luck will help in ths situation 3 kids in 5 years all born naturally and within four hours and she didn't have a stretch mark whatsoever

Quality · 13-05-2008 2:16pm

Why someone would want to have a C Section is beyond me.

I have had two vaginal deliverys with out pain relief and plan on having a 3rd, Its pain with a purpose girls.

A section is an operation, They actually cut you open to take your baby out.

I like the fact that after having my children I could get up and go for a shower. I would not liked to have been confined to a bed..

Sangre · 13-05-2008 2:18pm

my mom had 3 C-sections due to medical reasons, she hates absolutely hates the scarring.

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 2:20pm

Puddleduck wrote: »

I was watching the ch embarrasing bodies one on vaginas and oh dear god, Im terrified of ever having kids While the idea of doing it naturally would be ideal Id be left with no sex life, a fanny like a wizards sleeve and wetting/pooing myself involuntarily....Id imagine my other half would leave me

there have been many women in my family who have suffered from the "wizzards sleeve", and also the splitting of the vagina can be extremely painful and took a long time for many of my relatives to heal....

the wetting and pooing involuntarily is another thing the natural birth has against it.

anyways, i believe it to be a personal choice....

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 2:24pm

then again, if you care that much about the stetched vagina, there is always surgery to tighten it......although i watched one on tv, and the doc only recommended it if it was severely stretched

WindSock · 13-05-2008 2:25pm

Well it is your choice. And you may even want to choose differently when you are pregnant.
If you have a C-setion you will never be able to give birth naturally again. Apparently the mother bonds more with the child through childbirth, there are certain chemicals in the brain that are released during the ordeal. I for one would like to have that experience.

Zeppie · 13-05-2008 2:27pm

Having had a C-Section myself just 4 weeks ago due to my baby being in distress whilst I was in labour and I also find myself wondering why anyone would choose this.

I was stuck in bed afterwards unable to even get into a position to lift my baby out of the cot.

The 5 day stay in hospital afterwards was horrible.

I had to wait over 24 hrs before I was even able to go and have a shower.

I wouldn't ever opt for a section over natural birth, the other women in my ward were in much better positions then me. One woman had even given birth to a 10lb baby, no stitching, no complications and she was able to go home the next day!

jaykay74 · 13-05-2008 2:27pm

There is no paternity leave. Its up to companies discretion. We get 1 day. not much help there I'm afraid. Usually blokes take a few days holidays to supplement.

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 2:28pm

thanks windsock, its been the nicest reaction so far (ie. i didnt feel like i was being talked at,rather talked to)
anyway, it is a topical issue, people are bound to get touchy about it

Zeppie · 13-05-2008 2:28pm

WindSock wrote: »

If you have a C-setion you will never be able to give birth naturally again..

This is untrue, I know several people whos first baby was born by section and they went on to have natural births on their 2nd.

jaykay74 · 13-05-2008 2:30pm

Zeppie wrote: »

This is untrue, I know several people whos first baby was born by section and they went on to have natural births on their 2nd.

I think less likely would be more accurate.

Gauge · 13-05-2008 2:50pm

do you love it? wrote: »

the splitting of the vagina can be extremely painful and took a long time for many of my relatives to heal....

the wetting and pooing involuntarily is another thing the natural birth has against it.

anyways, i believe it to be a personal choice....

It's a choice but I think you're not doing yourself any favours by relying on anecdotes to make it. Instead of listening to your relatives/friends and their experiences, which are biased, do some research and equip yourself with the relevant knowledge to make the decision.

While natural birth does come with the risk of wetting yourself, etc, a section has the risk of interfering with your bowel and bladder functions. The baby has a higher risk of respiratory problems and asthma. Most relevantly, you mention that you worry about pain, but in the long run, c sections are more painful- one of the articles below pointed out that pain is still an issue for 1 in 14 women six months after their section. I'm not deliberately trying to put you off, but I just want you to know that a c-section isn't an easy option at all- it carries a lot of risks and complications and if I was to undergo major surgery I know I'd want to be well informed about what I was getting into.

Here are some links to get you started:

C sections: what every woman needs to know
Cesarean fact sheet.
Fear a factor in surgical births
Cesarean section: what you need to know.

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 2:55pm

Gauge wrote: »

It's a choice but I think you're not doing yourself any favours by relying on anecdotes to make it. Instead of listening to your relatives/friends and their experiences, which are biased, do some research and equip yourself with the relevant knowledge to make the decision.

While natural birth does come with the risk of wetting yourself, etc, a section has the risk of interfering with your bowel and bladder functions. The baby has a higher risk of respiratory problems and asthma. Most relevantly, you mention that you worry about pain, but in the long run, c sections are more painful- one of the articles below pointed out that pain is still an issue for 1 in 14 women six months after their section. I'm not deliberately trying to put you off, but I just want you to know that a c-section isn't an easy option at all- it carries a lot of risks and complications and if I was to undergo major surgery I know I'd want to be well informed about what I was getting into.

Here are some links to get you started:

C sections: what every woman needs to know
Cesarean fact sheet.
Fear a factor in surgical births
Cesarean section: what you need to know.

thank you

metaoblivia · 13-05-2008 3:13pm

This subject always makes me feel bad. I was born with a genetic disorder that effects my joints and tissues. Pregnancy and labor in particular can lead to death for me because my tissues tear and rupture very easily. My joints also dislocate easily, and with my hips being as hypermobile as they are, pushing a baby through them would not be good. So it's always been assumed that if I were to get pregnant, a c section would be the best way to proceed.
Anyway, I just feel bad because so many women are so dead set about natural birth, the benefits of pushing the baby through the birth canal, how a c section is so much worse for your body, etc.. Whatever results in healthy baby + healthy mom is the best option, even if that means c section.

do you love it? · 13-05-2008 3:16pm

well said.

Nevyn · 13-05-2008 5:04pm

Back on my feet after 2/3 days
or laid up with staples holding my abdominal musclies in for about 2 weeks and then not being albe to drive or lift anything for another 4/6 weeks.

Really I can't see anyone who knows the ins and outs of a c section opting for one with out real medical need

Oryx · 13-05-2008 5:53pm

I can see where you are coming from OP. To the uninitiated, a natural birth does seem undignified, painful and scary. But heres the thing: even at its very very worst (and believe me, I know) its not that bad. It ends, you recover. There is pain relief. Delivering a child is a joy however you do it. (Ive never had a c section, I know friends who did.)

As for the wizards sleeve, true your vagina will never look quite the same, but you wont remain permanently incontinent, you do tighten up (especially if you exercise your pelvic floor, which you should do anyway) and you will orgasm again!

I would never dictate to anyone what they do with their body, just don't make a choice based on a lack of information, or plain wrong information. Having a csection IS a big deal, its not like curing toothache. It too has downsides. You do end up very sore and incapacitated, and scarred. But thats not to say its the worst thing either, on a balance of needs you do whichever is best for you.

13-05-2008 5:56pm

Oryx wrote: »

As for the wizards sleeve, true your vagina will never look quite the same,

Umm I really shouldn't ask this....but what exactly changes?

Oryx · 13-05-2008 6:02pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

Umm I really shouldn't ask this....but what exactly changes?

Having only ever seen my own I cant really comment on anyone but me.

Things can look less 'neat'*. But before you cross your legs in horror, it all works damn well, thank you.

*My favourite description, which Ive mentioned on here before, was from a comedy routine. A post birth vagina was described as a badly packed kebab. Which just about sums it up.:)

Nevyn · 13-05-2008 6:10pm

Its a reference ( albeit a crude and exaggerated one ) to the changes to the vulva when a woman has had an episiotomy.

http://video.about.com/pregnancy/What-is-an-Episiotomy-.htm

http://www.medicinenet.com/episiotomy/article.htm

What is an episiotomy?

An episiotomy is an incision performed between the vagina and the rectum that is used to increase the opening of the vagina to assist in delivery of a baby.

How is an episiotomy done?

The usual cut (incision) for an episiotomy goes straight down and typically does not involve the muscles around the rectum or the rectum itself.

What are the advantages of an episiotomy?

An episiotomy can decrease the amount of pushing the mother must do during delivery. It can also decrease trauma to the vaginal tissues and expedite delivery of the baby when delivery is necessary quickly.

How is an episiotomy repaired?

The repair is straightforward and is fairly simple to perform. The incision is repaired by suturing (sewing) the wound together.

What are complications of an episiotomy?

Episiotomy can be associated with extensions or tears into the muscle of the rectum or even the rectum itself. Other complications include bleeding, infection, swelling and local pain.

It is important to note that if the baby needs to be delivered more urgently, then waiting for the mother to push it out without the assistance of an episiotomy may cause harm to the fetus. Also, there are some tears that occur when no incision is made that are very difficult to repair and cause greater blood loss than might otherwise occur.

What is the healing time for an episiotomy?

The typical healing time for an episiotomy is around 4 to 6 weeks depending on the size of the incision and the type of suture material used to close the wound.

I had to have an episiotomy when delivering each of my two kids.
I got cut one side and then next time around the other.
Yes it does leave behing some scar tissue when it heals but really pregnecy strech marks on my tummy was a bigger change.
Tearing would have been a worse option and would take longer to heal.

Oryx · 13-05-2008 6:17pm

Thaedydal wrote: »

I had to have an episiotomy when delivering each of my two kids.
I got cut one side and then next time around the other.
Yes it does leave behing some scar tissue when it heals but really pregnecy strech marks on my tummy was a bigger change.
Tearing would have been a worse option and would take longer to heal.

I know were wandering mildly off topic here, but I didnt have an episiotomy, even though strictly speaking it was medically required with my first. (Vacuum delivery). There are two schools of thought on episiotomy, one that feels it is the easier option, and the one I went with which is that the tear will occur in the most natural place, as opposed to an unnatural cut. I healed quickly and without problems, thankfully. Again, its down to a personal choice based on information available and your own needs and feelings.

And yes the kebab thing is exaggerated, but I think its funny, and pregnancy and birth are an area where a sense of humour can help get you through.

towel401 · 13-05-2008 6:20pm

do you love it? wrote: »

my bf agrees that its a good idea!! he watched a natural birth and doesnt want to see me in such pain....or to see my downstairs in pain!!!
/QUOTE]

yea those things look nasty.how anyone could sit there for 9 months, looking forward to the worst pain of their life, and being loose as a goose for the rest of their life is beyond me.

Oryx · 13-05-2008 6:24pm

towel401 wrote: »

yea those things look nasty.how anyone could sit there for 9 months, looking forward to the worst pain of their life, and being loose as a goose for the rest of their life is beyond me.

Probably because pregnant women generally dont do that. Loose as a goose for the rest of your life? Dont be silly.

towel401 · 13-05-2008 6:24pm

Puddleduck wrote: »

a fanny like a wizards sleeve

hahahahaha that made me lol

Blush_01 · 13-05-2008 6:50pm

I sort of feel that medical procedures should only be performed when necessary. *shrugs*

13-05-2008 6:52pm

Those fecking mooncups say that women over 30 and women who have children take the same size.
Something to do with muscle tone.

Puddleduck · 13-05-2008 6:52pm

omg, a badly stuffed kebab????

Thats it, Im never having kids. Ill get cats instead

towel401 · 13-05-2008 6:56pm

Puddleduck wrote: »

omg, a badly stuffed kebab????

Thats it, Im never having kids. Ill get cats instead

yay!! cats ftw. at least they do something useful like eating mice.

Nevyn · 13-05-2008 6:59pm

Trust me by month 7 you can't wait to be not preggers any more and when you go full term or over due you just want the baby out.

You end up usually in a lot more pain after a c section.

gubbie · 13-05-2008 10:38pm

I think people don't have a clue what they're talking about when they say blatantly that they want a c-section. They're cutting open your womb! Basically its unnecessary surgery

Its all come down to vanity. Same why women won't breast feed. Its better for the baby, but who cares about that?

Puddleduck · 13-05-2008 11:04pm

I thought breastfeeding is good for helping to get your figure back and stop the boobs from sagging??

I think messing up the plumbing and risking lookin messed up down there is what alot of women worry about

13-05-2008 11:13pm

/cries

That vid coupled with the baby sick/apple rice goo I got on me earlier while babysitting = no coolsmileybabies for a while yet maybe until i get really ok with all stuff that goes along with them
I love handing them back too much sometimes
sorry joe!

Thaedydal wrote: »

Its a reference ( albeit a crude and exaggerated one ) to the changes to the vulva when a woman has had an episiotomy.

http://video.about.com/pregnancy/What-is-an-Episiotomy-.htm

http://www.medicinenet.com/episiotomy/article.htm

I had to have an episiotomy when delivering each of my two kids.
I got cut one side and then next time around the other.
Yes it does leave behing some scar tissue when it heals but really pregnecy strech marks on my tummy was a bigger change.
Tearing would have been a worse option and would take longer to heal.

Puddleduck wrote: »

I thought breastfeeding is good for helping to get your figure back and stop the boobs from sagging??

I think messing up the plumbing and risking lookin messed up down there is what alot of women worry about

Exactly but having said that I agree with the breastfeeding 10000%
the woman whose kids I mind, only after 4 and a half months she has a better figure than me through breastfeeding

NSFW water birth is what I want all the way http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncranxBo-AI

Snowdrop · 13-05-2008 11:29pm

Well I think everyone is entitled to the type of birth they want. I have had one vaginal delivery and two emergency c-sections. I found that there was no real difference in how quickly I recovered afterwards and I probably had more problems resulting from the vaginal birth. The scar from the sections has healed very well and is not nearly as obvious as it was. My only advice would be to consider a general anaesthetic instead of a local one. They will bring you back around very quickly. You do have to stay in hospital for five days though afterwards and once you have had two sections, future births will have to be by section also.

Too Posh to Push???

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