Housemates

Wook

okie...you guys suck

I lived in a big old mansion once that was rented by one person and then all rooms rented to everyone else.

1 room had a couple in it with a nymphomaniac girl
1 room had a couple of heroine addicts who gave his girl away for some pleasures (if you can call it that way, she was an addict of the worse kind)
1 room had an ex con who restarted his Weed selling practice who kept a rottweiler in his room.
1 room had a anarchist in there who before he came to this place was living on the streets.
1 room had this massive gay figure, nothing against gay's but he was the 'over the top' kinda guy think Priscilla the queen of the dessert.
1 room had a German guy in there who with his inheritance wanted to invest in rubber companies to create a space shuttle made out of...rubber...
1 room had a voodoo guy who also sold weed and sometimes gave 5 euro's to rent the addicts girl.

now fill in the blanks of what happened and scenarios...

Homer

RedXIV wrote: »

Febreeze in the kettle

I get the rest but febreeze in the kettle? What does that achieve except making tea/coffee taste like sh1t for the rest of the household??

RedXIV

industria wrote: »

I get the rest but febreeze in the kettle? What does that achieve except making tea/coffee taste like sh1t for the rest of the household??

I'd like to point out that i was never well known for looking past the concequences of my actions. The febreeze in the kettle was masterminded by me and my housemate, drunk. After we decided that washing up liquid would be too obvious. In hindsight, we weren't very nice housemates either

Lockstep

I was asked to move in with a group of my friends.
Nice guys, but we definetly wouldn't be able live together:

1)Obsessive writer with a condition meaning his writing is illegible, girls often tell him he looks like Johnny Depp,plays video games the whole time on the computer the college gave him due to his writing problems.
2) A guy with 24% vision who is very angry, also a rabid communist.
3)Guy diagnosed with OCD, which gives him an obsession with patterns. Also always wears suits his grandad bought in the 1930's, never anything else.Also an obsessive writer.Likes to go for walks in Galway at 3am. For no reason.
All three are also virulently atheist.

4) Fluent gaelgoir, very religious and devout Fianna Fail supporter.
All except no3 are heavy drinkers, and in no2's case, heavy smoker.
Then there's me, moderate catholic and left-of-centre political views, combined with horribly irreverant sense of humour and no drink or ciggies.
Also, all except 4 have great difficulty in sleeping.

It was mentioned that if we moved in togehter, it would quickly become the Young Ones.


My brother has the worst history of flat mates. Lived in Trinity with a guy with no concept of personal hygiene. Lived off McDonalds happy meals and spent all day sleeping and all night playing Halo online. His room had a horrendous smell whenever I stayed over, the flatmates had to go in his room and found a sour bottle of milk in the middle of the floor as well as porn everywhere and a tub of ice cream that had melted and recongealed. He had also a half full tin of beans in the sink (as we all do) In the end, he failed his exams despite his flatmates stealing his computer and replacing it with one that had no games and refusing to return his computer until his exams were over.

My brothers new flatmate in France is the worst. I stayed over in the summer in their flat, a tiny one bedroom place that had the sitting room and boxroom converted into bedrooms for extra cash. Flatmate A came over to France with my brother, is slightly insane and frequents the prostitutes that live in the region.
Flatmate 2 is described as the archetypal effiminate, camp french guy. Anorexically skinny and unable to cook, his hobbies are (not including, ARE) phoning his mother and hoovering his room. His mother lives 40minutes away but he's on the phone to her for 3 hours a night, minimum. He then goes back to her house every friday, returning late on sunday before phoning her again for three hours to describe his train journey in mind bogglin detail. He returns laden down with microwavable food his mother gives him as he's unable to cook. His one contribution to the flat was the microwave.
He also has no personality, if you've ever seen Napoleon Dynamite and remember Pedro, you'll get a good idea of his lack of personality.

Their landlord is a piece of work. Converting every spare room into bedrooms, he is notorously stingy, and does nothing to dispel the stereotype that Jews are greedy. He is ready at every opportunity to refer to some obscure law allowing him to extort more money for the tiny flat in the the red light district of the immigrant quarter. His single generous act was when he suddenly appeared with a TV for them, they were bowled over with this unexpected generosity until they spoke to their nearest fellow students who lived in the tower block across from them and had the same landlord. Upon telling them "He gave us a TV!"
They replied, "He came in and stole our TV"

One of the other student's flatmates had left without paying a 40euro bill, and in revenge, he stole the flats TV (despite it belonging to one flatmember who had done nothing wrong)
Turns out that the landlord walked out and realised he couldn't fit the TV on the motorbike he drives so the easiest way to get rid of it was to just give it to my brother's flat.

I had so many adventures there. THe locals were insane. A man who claimed to be a master marial artist who had written a mystic book that could explain the world (he was AngloIrish) and a guy in the flat opposite who looked like a mafia Don and would spend hours sodomising his wife with the windows open before standing in his boxers on the balcony, glaring at anyone who walked beneath his flat.

There was also a giant black guy who had a car with no sidemirrors, licence plate and a bad engine. He would always ask us to give his car a huge push and he would then trundle away in his rusty car waving merrily back at us.

randylonghorn

Dear heavens, are the above (various posts) real people or has there been a Pedro Almovedar season on tv? :eek:

I've shared with some loonies, but have to say they were mostly sound / good fun.

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Mine is OK, except when she asks a lad to stay over, and he shows up about the flat in his boxers next morning.

Hell, you wanna see what's underneath, just ask him to drop 'em!

Gekko

A quality thread.

At uni I shared a house with 3 other lads and a guy who lived in a very small prefab in the back garden, who we nicknamed Shed Boy. He worked for the UK Revenue Commissioners.

The landlords decided to move their daughter in and we then proceeded to leave the living room floor covered in empty bottles, beer cans, takeaway cartons, newspapers and general detritus and rubbish, we stopped washing up and generally let the house get in a to a disgusting state, whereupon she moved out!

Messing around some of the other guys broke my bedroom door from its hinges, we smashed the panel of glass over the bathroom door, a hole got kicked in the lounge door. Needless to say we never got our deposits back.

One of my housemates sold weed so that was fun.

Next house we moved into, one of our housemates was a large black girl on social welfare whose daughter had been taken into care and whose sister was a coke fiend who decided to rob some stuff from another housemate on one occasion and on another brought her criminal friends who stole various items including a Playstation 2 from one of us.

ROCKMAN

Wook wrote: »

okie...you guys suck

I lived in a big old mansion once that was rented by one person and then all rooms rented to everyone else.

1 room had a couple in it with a nymphomaniac girl
1 room had a couple of heroine addicts who gave his girl away for some pleasures (if you can call it that way, she was an addict of the worse kind)
1 room had an ex con who restarted his Weed selling practice who kept a rottweiler in his room.
1 room had a anarchist in there who before he came to this place was living on the streets.
1 room had this massive gay figure, nothing against gay's but he was the 'over the top' kinda guy think Priscilla the queen of the dessert.
1 room had a German guy in there who with his inheritance wanted to invest in rubber companies to create a space shuttle made out of...rubber...
1 room had a voodoo guy who also sold weed and sometimes gave 5 euro's to rent the addicts girl.

now fill in the blanks of what happened and scenarios...

I give up, which room where you ?

Toto Wolfcastle

I always thought that my ways of getting revenge on my annoying housemate were lame....until she tried to get revenge on me!

I've lived with her since September and she hasn't once watched tv. This is not an exaggeration. She spends the whole day in her room. Anyway, she wanted to watch Dr. Who the other night but I was watching something so she missed the first 15 minutes of it. I didn't think it was a big deal. Apparently, it was.

Since then she has planted herself in front of the tv. She's there when I wake up, when I get home from work, when I'm cooking, anytime I pass through. It's like she's trying to stop me from watching tv or something! I think it's funny because the weather has been so fantastic so I've been out enjoying it instead of watching tv.

Anyway, what she's doing is far more entertaining than watching tv.