Housemates

homerjay2005

So, you get on with yours? my housemate is a total f**king pig, SHE is constantly farting & belching outloud from the bottom of her gut, disgusting, (this thread inspired by the one recently started on that subject elsewhere!!), has no personality, acts like 35 going on 13, no communication skills and is just a constant nightmare to deal with. the other 3 are fine and easy to get on with, but this woman makes the house a horrible place to live it at times.

so, without being nasty, any good stories on how to get back at them!?:o

heard a good one before from 2 of my friends. this lad moved into the area and was a total bum. He got fired from his job and thrown outta his house. so he moved into their flat as he was playing soccer with us and they didnt want to see him stuck. he was only supposed to stay a week or so, however, stayed for about 6. never spent a penny, stayed in the flat all day watching tv and eating their food. so they eventually got pissed off and decided enough was enough. They bought a carton of orange juuice and left it in the fridge, but filled it with laxatives. they also hid all the toilet paper in the house. lets just say, your man had a rather uncomfortable day and had to leave the house the day after with shame!

mrsdewinter

Aw, those were the days... Four people refusing to buy toilet paper because each and every one of us had been the one to stump up for it the time before. Going on housecleaning strike. Listening to the randy 21-year-old getting it on with different randomers he'd picked up at the local nightclub. The 1 housemate whose soulmate happened to live with his parents and who ended up practically living with us. The disparity in what various people consider a 'clean' bathroom.
This wan - is she really 35? If she is, she's not for changing. You'd be better off logging on to daft.ie and moving on...

CountingCrows

Had a blind housemate once who was a right pain in the hole.
Solution - glued a few door knobs to the wall

Pighead

Throw her into the cellar. But don't feed or make love to her. Thats where a lot of people go wrong when they try the whole "Lets try and hide some humans in the cellar" game. Just put her into the cellar and then do nothing. You'll increase your chances of not getting caught by at least 58%. Trust Pighead on this one.

RedXIV

homerjay2005 wrote: »

so, without being nasty, any good stories on how to get back at them!?:o

Oxo cube or tea bag in the shower head
Clingfilm over the toilet (old favourite that only worked once but was beautiful when it did)
Febreeze in the kettle
mousetraps EVERYWHERE
hiding an alarm in her room to go off at 6am
hiding a shotgun in her room to go off a 6am
I'll think of more later

homerjay2005

im loving this thread already!

Abi

homerjay2005 wrote: »

So, you get on with yours? my housemate is a total f**king pig, SHE is constantly farting & belching outloud from the bottom of her gut, disgusting, (this thread inspired by the one recently started on that subject elsewhere!!), has no personality, acts like 35 going on 13

I take it she is single.

homerjay2005 wrote: »

They bought a carton of orange juuice and left it in the fridge, but filled it with laxatives. they also hid all the toilet paper in the house. lets just say, your man had a rather uncomfortable day

I would have removed all face-cloths and towels from the bathroom too, an obvious substitution. also the bathroom mat and toilet surround, maybe even the shower curtain. Display sand paper where t/roll used to be. Theres also an outside chance I would have thought of hiding something to record the action for posting purposes.


I love this thread too

CountingCrows

Leave a post-it on her door saying the hospital called and her parents are dead

Irishcrx

mrsdewinter wrote: »

Aw, those were the days... Four people refusing to buy toilet paper because each and every one of us had been the one to stump up for it the time before. Going on housecleaning strike. Listening to the randy 21-year-old getting it on with different randomers he'd picked up at the local nightclub. The 1 housemate whose soulmate happened to live with his parents and who ended up practically living with us. The disparity in what various people consider a 'clean' bathroom.
This wan - is she really 35? If she is, she's not for changing. You'd be better off logging on to daft.ie and moving on...

Welcome to my house...age 21.

RosieJoe

Wait until she is gone for a few days. Then dampen her room down (with water!) and plant some cress seeds.

Only takes a few days for a mini forest to sprout up

kaizersoze1980

Do what someone I know did, get a box of ants or a mouse from a pet shop and let them loose in here room/bed

kaizersoze1980

RosieJoe wrote: »

Wait until she is gone for a few days. Then dampen her room down (with water!) and plant some cress seeds.

Only takes a few days for a mini forest to sprout up

I love it

homerjay2005

Abigayle wrote: »

I take it she is single.

of course she is .

Red Hand

homerjay2005 wrote: »

heard a good one before from 2 of my friends. this lad moved into the area and was a total bum. He got fired from his job and thrown outta his house. so he moved into their flat as he was playing soccer with us and they didnt want to see him stuck. he was only supposed to stay a week or so, however, stayed for about 6. never spent a penny, stayed in the flat all day watching tv and eating their food. so they eventually got pissed off and decided enough was enough. They bought a carton of orange juuice and left it in the fridge, but filled it with laxatives. they also hid all the toilet paper in the house. lets just say, your man had a rather uncomfortable day and had to leave the house the day after with shame!

You mean he left the house in shame...:)

Didn't get along with most in the last house I shared in. A depressed Russian/Latvian who was dour and unfriendy, a female Dub who was very very annoying and her East European boyfriend who had to put up with her.

I get along great with the people where I am now, though.

Mossy Monk

I get on great with one but despise the other one.

Black Swan

Mine is OK, except when she asks a lad to stay over, and he shows up about the flat in his boxers next morning.

Sherifu

mrsdewinter wrote: »

Four people refusing to buy toilet paper

QFT.

ToxicPaddy

I love this thread.. rofl

Toto Wolfcastle

I've pretty much decided that however annoying my housemate is, it's a hell of a lot more entertaining to try to guess what she's about to do next. She's a tool and has no excuse because she has lived away from home for years.

Although I tend to get back at my housemate by making her feel thoroughly guilty for being a useless, unhygienic tool, with a housemate of 35 who is that freaking annoying I would focus on the fact that she is single and make her feel bad about it. (This only works if she actually cares that she's single, which she might not.)

Failing that I would hide a load of dirty dishes somewhere in her room and let the smell slowly drive her away.

I've always found that girls living together is a horrible idea. They can be the messiest people you've ever met. One particular occasion a girl left a half-eaten bowl of branflakes by the window (in direct sunlight) and left it there. By day 14 it had sprouted blue fungus. It was eventually up to me to clean it (as the girls had been too squeamish by this point, and me being the man, had to take responsibility. Women are always feminists until they have to do something disgusting, then it's the man's job).

Toto Wolfcastle

Deleted User wrote: »

I've always found that girls living together is a horrible idea. They can be the messiest people you've ever met. One particular occasion a girl left a half-eaten bowl of branflakes by the window (in direct sunlight) and left it there. By day 14 it had sprouted blue fungus. It was eventually up to me to clean it (as the girls had been too squeamish by this point, and me being the man, had to take responsibility. Women are always feminists until they have to do something disgusting, then it's the man's job).

That's disgusting. I'm a messy person but I can't understand people leaving food lying around like that.

My housemate put a cup of beans in the fridge a few weeks ago, they spilled, she put them back in the cup and left it uncovered in the fridge for 2 weeks. They got dry and horrible looking and started to go mouldy. She ate them 2 days ago.

bluto63

My flatmate is kinda hellbent on the position of the furniture in the room, so if I ever want to drive him mad, I just move the chairs about slightly. It's surprising how much it effects him!

Sherifu

janeybabe wrote: »

She ate them 2 days ago.

:eek:

Food isn't that dear!

Pepe LeFrits

janeybabe wrote: »

That's disgusting. I'm a messy person but I can't understand people leaving food lying around like that.

My housemate put a cup of beans in the fridge a few weeks ago, they spilled, she put them back in the cup and left it uncovered in the fridge for 2 weeks. They got dry and horrible looking and started to go mouldy. She ate them 2 days ago.

HAHAHAH

I get on with my housemates alright. One of them is a bit uptight but nobody's perfect.

Toto Wolfcastle

Sherifu wrote: »

:eek:

Food isn't that dear!

I wouldn't mind but she practically lives in McDonalds. She did attempt to boil some pasta yesterday. It was her first time in the 7 months we've been living together that she has used a pot. She burnt the pasta. (And the pot)

I like the idea of being able to annoy someone by just moving the furniture a bit. So simple and requires little effort!

Toots

janeybabe wrote: »

That's disgusting. I'm a messy person but I can't understand people leaving food lying around like that.

My housemate put a cup of beans in the fridge a few weeks ago, they spilled, she put them back in the cup and left it uncovered in the fridge for 2 weeks. They got dry and horrible looking and started to go mouldy. She ate them 2 days ago.

Ewwwwww!!!! That's just disgusting!! One of my friends had a housemate who was really filthy, he never washed and one day we were all over in the house and trying to make a cup of tea but literally every piece of crockery they owned was in this lad's room! When he left they had to get professional cleaners in to clean the room and they had to take up the carpets, and paint the walls before they could get a new roomie in. Needless to say they had to dump his bed too cos it was so filthy! The scary thing is this guy wasn't single, and his GF stayed over fairly regularly! She seemed pretty normal, I don't know how she put up with him!

clicli

I used to share a house with some friends, came home after a 14 hour shift on a saturday,looking forward to just crashing in front of the tv for the night, walked into the sitting room and cried, the heat was on full blast, with congealed pasta on the floor and a glass of curdled milk, and dirty socks and jocks on the floor!! It was then I decided not to renew my lease!!

the_syco

janeybabe wrote: »

My housemate put a cup of beans in the fridge a few weeks ago, they spilled, she put them back in the cup and left it uncovered in the fridge for 2 weeks. They got dry and horrible looking and started to go mouldy. She ate them 2 days ago.

ROFL, my sides are hurting with laughter!

Toto Wolfcastle

the_syco wrote: »

ROFL, my sides are hurting with laughter!

We may have a sequel in the coming weeks. She has a cup of pasta sauce in the fridge now.

stepbar

Time to buy a house folks :pac:

I live in a house with a few other apt's / bedsits. There is one fellow who annoys the fcuk out of me. He's canadian and a fcuking idiot. I work in banking and most of our conversations comprise about our day in banking (instigated by him), like I want to talk about work when I come home :mad: At one stage, he used to call up to our apt every evening to talk sh1te about same. Soon put a stop to that. Now I just lock the door and ignore any knocking noices. Sometimes you can't unfortunatly :rolleyes: He also has a habit of leaving his door open so that you have to nearly say hello on the way by. Every so often he'll start telling me about his rich da and his former life in the Bahamas. It gets sickening TBH. Added to that he's a clatty ****, he's suffers from sinuses and every so often he might just hawk one in the hallway mid conversation. Makes my stomack turn. At night time it's hard not ignore the constant hawking / sniffing noices from his bedsit. Christ one night I woke up because of it. Added to that he's a bit weird. I remember one day he was in the flat and he happened to spot a bottle of aspirin I had on the table. "Can I have a few" he asks..... Weird, just weird.

-annex-

I rent out the whole house personally and sub-let the other two rooms to people of my choice, for an *ahem* reasonable profit. Which means I can kick out anyone I don't like (if I wasn't so damn lenient). Right now there's an unnecessary amount of bed-rolling-around and a cup which has been placed at an unreasonable angle in the press. They also haven't cleaned under the floor tiles since they got here, and as far as I'm concerned there's a dead man on the couch across from me.
I ain't happy.

DanGerMus

My house mates are like total wreckheads. Their always on at me to clean my room. Forever asking me to do things around the house, eespecially annoying when i'm trying to watch countdown or home and away and neighbours or weakest link after school. And now it's summer they're on at me to mow the lawn i mean FFS i have email and bebo to check up on. And the bastards are always lecturing me when i ask em for money when i want to go out on a thursday friday and saturday night.


Fish behind the radiator FTW

DanGerMus

DanGerMus wrote: »

My house mates are like total wreckheads. Their always on at me to clean my room. Forever asking me to do things around the house, eespecially annoying when i'm trying to watch countdown or home and away and neighbours or weakest link after school. And now it's summer they're on at me to mow the lawn i mean FFS i have email and bebo to check up on. And the bastards are always lecturing me when i ask em for money when i want to go out on a thursday friday and saturday night.


Fish behind the radiator FTW

Are you talking about your parents?

DanGerMus

:rolleyes:

DanGerMus

DanGerMus wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Aha. Thought so. Hours in the sun has fried my brain somewhat.

Turnip2000

A friend of mine from college ended up in a room with a guy in his course. For the first few weeks all was good until they started drinking and what-not.

His Roomie was a FREAK when he drank......he would sit up in the bed just staring blankly and talking to himself. When my pal found a bottle of Chloroform in your mans Press he started to really worry!!

How could you sleep in the same room as this guy!

takola

Deleted User wrote: »

Are you talking about your parents?

God I hope so!

Don't really have any horror stories about the people I've lived with.

rainbowtrout

Lived in Carrick on Shannon for a couple of years. Nice house, nice people for the most part. But because most of the town work in the MBNA call centre you can expect to live with at least 3 of them at any one time, so expect a lot of converstions to revolve around the place and the people that work there.


Anyway... there was a girl of 18 living with us at the time, we were all early to mid 20s, she had moved into Carrick to repeat the leaving cert. Spent most of her days on the couch watching home and away, ricki lake, oprah etc etc. Used to waffle on about how great she was at every subject but couldn't understand how poor her grades were, used to be annoying me then for grinds (I'm a teacher) as a result of missing so much school. She NEVER washed herself or her clothes and the smell from her room even with the door closed was unbelieveable. Her mother used to drop in with food for her every now and again and would give her things like a cooked leg of lamb which she would then leave in a press instead of the fridge for about a fortnight until you started investigating what the smell in kitchen was and it would start talking to you when you found it in the press. She would still be eating it at this stage.

The houseowner lived with us and she found one of these mysterious pieces of meat one day in the press so she gave some to her dog, who promptly coughed it back up, gave her a dirty look as if to say 'are you trying to poison me?' We were fully expecting to find her lying dead on the kitchen floor someday with a two week old joint half eaten lying beside her. It wasn't like she couldn't afford food, but she did have bizarre ideas about storing it.

The house I lived in previous to that had some pretty strange characters in it too. One guy was on the dole, and had moved to Leitrim because he reckoned that it was the cheapest county to live in on the dole. I can kinda see the logic in that. But he was very strange. More or less a hermit. I was living in the house for a fortnight before I saw him, he rarely left his room, and ate at odd times to avoid us. He had a computer but we had no telephone or internet connection, so spending at least 20 hours a day in a room that was no more than 9 x 9 probably isn't too healthy and there wasn't much to do all day.

He used to bring home crates of tins of beans and peas and various other tinned foods from the supermarket. He would then have them arranged perfectly in the press (Sleeping with the Enemy style) and every now and again, he would rant at us that we had stolen one of his tins (which we hadn't) and he knew because one of them was moved a bit. Even if it was something that none of us liked. So there were plenty of silly conversations of the type
'You stole my tin of peas'
'No I didn't, I don't even like peas'
'Yes, you did, it had to be you, who else could it be?'
'Maybe you just miscounted and you forgot you ate a tin last wednesday'
'But there were 20 there earlier and now there's only 19' etc etc etc

... and other silly stuff of that nature. That's not even the tip of the iceberg where he was concerned.

RoyalMarine

woman are the messiest slob's to live with.


QFT

rainbowtrout

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Her mother used to drop in with food for her every now and again and would give her things like a cooked leg of lamb which she would then leave in a press instead of the fridge for about a fortnight until you started investigating what the smell in kitchen was and it would start talking to you when you found it in the press. She would still be eating it at this stage.

The houseowner lived with us and she found one of these mysterious pieces of meat one day in the press so she gave some to her dog, who promptly coughed it back up, gave her a dirty look as if to say 'are you trying to poison me?'

LOL

When I was a studant, I shared a house and one of the housemates used to leave the toilet paper on the windowsill to use again. :eek:

TomCo

Deleted User wrote: »

LOL

When I was a studant, I shared a house and one of the housemates used to leave the toilet paper on the windowsill to use again. :eek:

Culchies tbh,

flanum

in my 21 years of renting since i left the nest, i think ive encountered every type of housemate, my favourite being a lad i shared with in dundalk when we were both doing our apprenticeship block releases. he had a crappy 125 bike (yammy i think) and i used to pillion to classes with him. we finally got the hand of going the full way up the stairs on the bike in the evenings right up to the flat door. me standing up on the cissy bar leaning right over his shoulder/him lying over the handlebars, lots of noise and smoke up the stairwell!
the other apartment dwellers in the building never really talked to us much, cant figure out why?

nowuckenfurries

Me a carnivore used to share a house with 3 Vegetarians many years ago, they were so strick on what pots & pans I could use to cook "dead animals" all the pots & pans were mine anyway!

There was war over who was using the most bog roll... their diet of lentils I reckoned warranted the most usage... but they wouldn't buy any at all or kept their roll hidden in their rooms

The fcukers used to eat all my butter eventhough there was a "Dead animal" shelf in the fridge for my stuff, i sorted that out eventually by placing a slice of ham under the wrapper of the butter & funnilly enough they never touched it again!!:D

As a parting gift to them I melted a block of lard into the deep fat fryer along with the vegetable oil blocks etc.... They never even noticed!!!!!:D

TomCo

TomCo wrote: »

Culchies tbh,

Welsh ones baaa

Peyton Manning

Ha, ye have it easy.

I share an apartment with 10 other people, which include a proud loyalist, an obsessively/annoyingly tidy lad, a ridiculously messy girl, a party crazy girl, the quietest man in the world, a chinese girl who invites her million friend over to cook spices that burn your throat from across the room, an older guy from Jordan, a guy from Derry who I cant understand and a girl the rest of us think is a serial killer..........to name but a few....

ImDave

Archimedes wrote: »

Ha, ye have it easy.

I share an apartment with 10 other people, which include a proud loyalist, an obsessively/annoyingly tidy lad, a ridiculously messy girl, a party crazy girl, the quietest man in the world, a chinese girl who invites her million friend over to cook spices that burn your throat from across the room, an older guy from Jordan, a guy from Derry who I cant understand and a girl the rest of us think is a serial killer..........to name but a few....

Cultural diversity at least

Pepe LeFrits

Archimedes wrote: »

Ha, ye have it easy.

I share an apartment with 10 other people, which include a proud loyalist, an obsessively/annoyingly tidy lad, a ridiculously messy girl, a party crazy girl, the quietest man in the world, a chinese girl who invites her million friend over to cook spices that burn your throat from across the room, an older guy from Jordan, a guy from Derry who I cant understand and a girl the rest of us think is a serial killer..........to name but a few....

Lock them in a room with the serial killer and wait 48 hours

CountingCrows

Pepe LeFrits wrote: »

Lock them in a room with the serial killer and wait 48 hours

A proud loyalist and a serial killer in the same house :eek: I'd be sleeping with one eye open and a shotgun under the pillow

homerjay2005

Archimedes wrote: »

Ha, ye have it easy.

I share an apartment with 10 other people, which include a proud loyalist, an obsessively/annoyingly tidy lad, a ridiculously messy girl, a party crazy girl, the quietest man in the world, a chinese girl who invites her million friend over to cook spices that burn your throat from across the room, an older guy from Jordan, a guy from Derry who I cant understand and a girl the rest of us think is a serial killer..........to name but a few....

i would swap any of them to be honest for the wagon that i live with. we had a house party a few weeks ago and everybody that was at it just could not getover what a pig she was.

in my first year in college, i had to share a room with the biggest freak ever. he used to "make love" to the bed, yes,thats right. he would be asleep and then start making very weird noises. i actually paid for him to move out into a different single room and paid somebody else the difference in the rent to move in, thats how bad he was. one of the girls actually checked his bed clothes and lets just say they were some "love stains" on there:eek::eek:! he never washed himself and it took him 8 months to realise that we had electric showers in the house. his new room was a no go area for months as the smell coming from the room was disgusting.

Dave!

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Lived in Carrick on Shannon for a couple of years. Nice house, nice people for the most part. But because most of the town work in the MBNA call centre you can expect to live with at least 3 of them at any one time, so expect a lot of converstions to revolve around the place and the people that work there.


Anyway... there was a girl of 18 living with us at the time, we were all early to mid 20s, she had moved into Carrick to repeat the leaving cert. Spent most of her days on the couch watching home and away, ricki lake, oprah etc etc. Used to waffle on about how great she was at every subject but couldn't understand how poor her grades were, used to be annoying me then for grinds (I'm a teacher) as a result of missing so much school. She NEVER washed herself or her clothes and the smell from her room even with the door closed was unbelieveable. Her mother used to drop in with food for her every now and again and would give her things like a cooked leg of lamb which she would then leave in a press instead of the fridge for about a fortnight until you started investigating what the smell in kitchen was and it would start talking to you when you found it in the press. She would still be eating it at this stage.

The houseowner lived with us and she found one of these mysterious pieces of meat one day in the press so she gave some to her dog, who promptly coughed it back up, gave her a dirty look as if to say 'are you trying to poison me?' We were fully expecting to find her lying dead on the kitchen floor someday with a two week old joint half eaten lying beside her. It wasn't like she couldn't afford food, but she did have bizarre ideas about storing it.

The house I lived in previous to that had some pretty strange characters in it too. One guy was on the dole, and had moved to Leitrim because he reckoned that it was the cheapest county to live in on the dole. I can kinda see the logic in that. But he was very strange. More or less a hermit. I was living in the house for a fortnight before I saw him, he rarely left his room, and ate at odd times to avoid us. He had a computer but we had no telephone or internet connection, so spending at least 20 hours a day in a room that was no more than 9 x 9 probably isn't too healthy and there wasn't much to do all day.

He used to bring home crates of tins of beans and peas and various other tinned foods from the supermarket. He would then have them arranged perfectly in the press (Sleeping with the Enemy style) and every now and again, he would rant at us that we had stolen one of his tins (which we hadn't) and he knew because one of them was moved a bit. Even if it was something that none of us liked. So there were plenty of silly conversations of the type
'You stole my tin of peas'
'No I didn't, I don't even like peas'
'Yes, you did, it had to be you, who else could it be?'
'Maybe you just miscounted and you forgot you ate a tin last wednesday'
'But there were 20 there earlier and now there's only 19' etc etc etc

... and other silly stuff of that nature. That's not even the tip of the iceberg where he was concerned.

lol

nowuckenfurries wrote: »

i sorted that out eventually by placing a slice of ham under the wrapper of the butter & funnilly enough they never touched it again!!:D

LOL

Archimedes wrote: »

I share an apartment with 10 other people, which include a proud loyalist, an obsessively/annoyingly tidy lad, a ridiculously messy girl, a party crazy girl, the quietest man in the world, a chinese girl who invites her million friend over to cook spices that burn your throat from across the room, an older guy from Jordan, a guy from Derry who I cant understand and a girl the rest of us think is a serial killer..........to name but a few....

LOL Ever think of installing a few cameras in the house? Big Brother tbh :pac:

This thread is great!

Irishcrx

Once lived with a total nut case , she was a total cock tease to any fella that walked near the house for one , she'd bring her mates around and party in the sitting room all night, I once woke up to two of them having sex on my Buddha bag, wasn't happy about this at all. I'm convinced she poisend my bearded dragon, was out one day and when i got back he was really sick and she was the only one in, found what looked like shake and vack all over his cage, asked her had she hoovered she said no...had her out a few days later...the lizard died that night...poor baby, she had a thing against them..