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Conversation with a muslim

  • 02-05-2008 11:11am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭


    So here I thought "what a great way to find out more about Islam to talk to a person who has grown up a muslim all of his life!" Little did I know the ignorance and complete lack of compassion that was to follow...

    He offered to answer any questions that I might have, and, it being me, I sure did have a lot. I offered him my beloved Benazir Bhutto book, which I absolutely adore, to have a leaf through, THINKING that muslims really do love the woman for all that she has done for human rights....
    for shiz, was I wrong....

    Me: "So what did you think of the book?"
    Him: "Well, firstly she's an unbeliever. Look at her hijab. See that hair? Thats not even a hijab. And secondly, she's only out for political gain, thats the only reason she returned to Pakistan- not for love of people or anything. And she's a Shia. I hate Shias."
    Me: "Oh... is it something like the Protestants and Catholics in Ireland...?"
    Him: "No. It is much worse. Their take on Islam... it's stupid. Its not even Islam. They thought that Ali should have been the Prophet. We hate them. But even look at the title of the book- 'Islam, Democracy and the West.' Islam- fine. Democracy- that doesn't work in Islam."
    Me: "But I always assumed that democracy was a positive thing?"
    Him: "No... what happens if a non-muslim is elected? Who will enforce Sharia then?"
    Me: "But isn't Sharia very cruel? I saw a video of a woman buried up to her waist and grown men screaming 'Allahu Akbar' and throwing stones at her. And the cutting off of hands... isn't it wrong?"
    Him: "Well. A woman approached the Prophet, she had become pregnant outside marriage. He allowed her to have to child and when the child was old enough, the only way to cleanse her of her sins was to stone her. That way people don't do it again."
    Me: "Well, yeah, I suppose they couldn't... But does that mean that you AGREE with Benazir Bhutto being killed?!"
    Him: *Silence*
    Me: "Surely you don't!"
    Him: "Well, if you see it as a woman being killed for nothing, I wouldn't agree, but it was to save a nation..."
    Me: "Save a nation?!? It didn't save anything!! What... does this mean you would agree with the terrorists in 9/11 too?!"
    Him: "Well I think that attack was provoked. The men who did it- they will be rewarded."
    Me: "But they killed thousands of ínnocent people!! Two wrongs don't make a right"
    Him: "There will always be ínnocents... I don't like to talk about politics..."
    Me: "Okay... I also wanted to talk about polygamy- I know if I was married to someone I would be very jealous and upset if he took on another wife...?"
    Him: "Well. Feelings cannot be helped. All a man can do is spend equal time with each."
    Me: "So he's just going to ignore what his wife feels and pretend its out of his contol... when HE caused it?!"
    Him: "Its their problem, not his."
    Me: "I'm having a hard time trying to explain the whole Aisha thing... the common argument is that, although she was technically physically a woman, she surely wasn't emotionally able for a relationship at 9 years old- especially with a 53 year old man?!"
    Him: "Back then... it was different... if they parents agreed... well... nowadays 9 is too young..."
    Me: "But it still happens. How are little girls supposed to be protected when they can just say 'well, the propet did it- so why can't I?'" (BTW, thanks for that, Dinobot!!)
    Him: "They... women are respected in Islam..."

    And thats the story of why I no longer support Islam.


«13

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,878 ✭✭✭arse..biscuits


    Yup, they sure are a nice bunch


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    Lol! I mean, flippit, I started looking at Islam with a VERY open mind, but this is ridiculious. Its impossible to defend a religion so terribly flawed


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,749 ✭✭✭✭wes


    Yes, the person you spoke to represents all Muslims everywhere :rolleyes:.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    Stonings, whippings, hatred of Jews- its all in the Qur'an.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 792 ✭✭✭mmalaka


    you should not talk with just anyone, if u want to know more u should go to a qualified person


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,924 ✭✭✭✭BuffyBot


    "a" is the telling words in the title of this topic. It's a small one, but it sums it up.

    I'm pretty sure if one casts one's net wide enough, one can find someone who's words/actions will back up any point of view.
    And thats the story of why I no longer support Islam.

    If you were a practising Muslim (which I'm almost sure you said in the thread here and I'm guessing a relatively recent one) then perhaps you didn't look into what you were leaping into?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 417 ✭✭randomname


    Jannah wrote: »
    So here I thought "what a great way to find out more about Islam to talk to a person who has grown up a muslim all of his life!" Little did I know the ignorance and complete lack of compassion that was to follow...

    He offered to answer any questions that I might have, and, it being me, I sure did have a lot. I offered him my beloved Benazir Bhutto book, which I absolutely adore, to have a leaf through, THINKING that muslims really do love the woman for all that she has done for human rights....
    for shiz, was I wrong....

    Me: "So what did you think of the book?"
    Him: "Well, firstly she's an unbeliever. Look at her hijab. See that hair? Thats not even a hijab. And secondly, she's only out for political gain, thats the only reason she returned to Pakistan- not for love of people or anything. And she's a Shia. I hate Shias."
    Me: "Oh... is it something like the Protestants and Catholics in Ireland...?"
    Him: "No. It is much worse. Their take on Islam... it's stupid. Its not even Islam. They thought that Ali should have been the Prophet. We hate them. But even look at the title of the book- 'Islam, Democracy and the West.' Islam- fine. Democracy- that doesn't work in Islam."
    Me: "But I always assumed that democracy was a positive thing?"
    Him: "No... what happens if a non-muslim is elected? Who will enforce Sharia then?"
    Me: "But isn't Sharia very cruel? I saw a video of a woman buried up to her waist and grown men screaming 'Allahu Akbar' and throwing stones at her. And the cutting off of hands... isn't it wrong?"
    Him: "Well. A woman approached the Prophet, she had become pregnant outside marriage. He allowed her to have to child and when the child was old enough, the only way to cleanse her of her sins was to stone her. That way people don't do it again."
    Me: "Well, yeah, I suppose they couldn't... But does that mean that you AGREE with Benazir Bhutto being killed?!"
    Him: *Silence*
    Me: "Surely you don't!"
    Him: "Well, if you see it as a woman being killed for nothing, I wouldn't agree, but it was to save a nation..."
    Me: "Save a nation?!? It didn't save anything!! What... does this mean you would agree with the terrorists in 9/11 too?!"
    Him: "Well I think that attack was provoked. The men who did it- they will be rewarded."
    Me: "But they killed thousands of ínnocent people!! Two wrongs don't make a right"
    Him: "There will always be ínnocents... I don't like to talk about politics..."
    Me: "Okay... I also wanted to talk about polygamy- I know if I was married to someone I would be very jealous and upset if he took on another wife...?"
    Him: "Well. Feelings cannot be helped. All a man can do is spend equal time with each."
    Me: "So he's just going to ignore what his wife feels and pretend its out of his contol... when HE caused it?!"
    Him: "Its their problem, not his."
    Me: "I'm having a hard time trying to explain the whole Aisha thing... the common argument is that, although she was technically physically a woman, she surely wasn't emotionally able for a relationship at 9 years old- especially with a 53 year old man?!"
    Him: "Back then... it was different... if they parents agreed... well... nowadays 9 is too young..."
    Me: "But it still happens. How are little girls supposed to be protected when they can just say 'well, the propet did it- so why can't I?'" (BTW, thanks for that, Dinobot!!)
    Him: "They... women are respected in Islam..."

    And thats the story of why I no longer support Islam.

    Well you were obivously talking to some muppet there?

    What do kind of response do you expect from a muppet?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,560 ✭✭✭DublinWriter


    Jannah wrote: »
    ts impossible to defend a religion so terribly flawed
    Yes, unlike Catholicism *rolls eyes*


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭blackthorn


    Wow Jannah, that is quite something. I had the impression from your previous posts that you were Muslim and I even thought I would retire from the board here now that there was a Muslimah to take my place. Looks now like I might have to get back in the saddle.

    It's obvious this guy you talked to does not have mature or well thought out beliefs and really I don't see the connection between his ignorance and lack of compassion on the one hand, and Islam on the other. We can say that he is just one guy and he represents nobody but himself, and it's true, but I think what he said was probably just the straw that broke the camel's back for you. I'm sorry if you are turning away from Islam. I do hope you will come back.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    Basing opinions on a demographic of one. Yes I can see how that will give an informed and well thought out opinion to apply to everyone. :rolleyes:

    I trust you read the charter.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,749 ✭✭✭✭wes


    Just a quick note regarding Bhutto, she became the democratically elected leader of the 2nd most populous majority Muslim nation, millions voted for her. 1000's risked there lives and many lost there lives to attend her rallies right before she was assassinated. To say one idiots opinion of her, matters more than the millions who voted for her, 1000's who risked there lives to support her and the many who lost there lives, is absurd.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    Yes, unlike Catholicism *rolls eyes*
    I'm not a Catholic, so I wouldn't know.

    It just seems that no matter who I ask is that there ARE no answers to these questions, or at least I have yet to see ANYONE who can justify some of the biggest taboo subjects in Islam. I know people are saying "yes, but you only talked to one muslim" but in fairness, its something I've been looking up for a very long time and nobody can explain...

    1. WHY should we worship a man who had sex with a girl of 9 years old? Yes, she was technically physically mature but there is absolutely no way a CHILD could possibly be emotionall mature enough to cope with such a relationship. And for those who say "Ah, well, that was 7th century Arabia and things are different now" then what exactly is to be done with the men who still carry out these horrific marriages and justify it by saying they are emaluating the Prophet?? There is no child protection in Sharia! None!

    2. TALKING OF SHARIA- what the hell??? This law is taken from what GOD said, yet what sort of messed up God condones the cutting off of limbs, stoning of women and whipping of its people?!?!

    3. Polygamy?!?! This is a completely crazy practice (and yes, I know Islam didn't 'make it up') but it is incredibly disrespectful of women in that it pretty much shows that one woman isn't good enough for one man- BUT it is also disrespectful to men in that it insinuates that they can't keep their grubby mits to themselves so polygamy is the only option they have left- there are billions of men who can stay with one woman in a relationship- why polygamy?!?

    A flipping prize to whoever can answer these questions properly, because I sure as hell can't find the answers


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭passive


    Regardless of the wider issue and my own misgivings/reservations about Islam (religion in general, really), that conversation is clearly made up.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    passive wrote: »
    Regardless of the wider issue and my own misgivings/reservations about Islam (religion in general, really), that conversation is clearly made up.
    I swear on the very beings of my existance that it is entirely true. I have names, I have a place and many people saw me- its pretty ignorant of you to ASSUME that I am lying, despite the fact that I was pro-Islam (albeit having doubts) before I talked to this person


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,686 ✭✭✭✭PDN


    Jannah wrote: »
    1. WHY should we worship a man who had sex with a girl of 9 years old?

    If you're a Muslim then you shouldn't worship a man at all. I would have thought that in order for someone to describe themselves as 'pro-islam' they might have even the tiniest understanding of Islam - but apparently not in your case.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,635 ✭✭✭Conar


    passive wrote: »
    Regardless of the wider issue and my own misgivings/reservations about Islam (religion in general, really), that conversation is clearly made up.

    I don't know about that.
    I work in 2 buildings and have had quite lengthly conversations with 2 Pakistani security guards in one building, and 1 in the other.
    All conversations were seperate and although the guys seem like really nice well rounded men they all sounded pretty similar to that.
    Hatred of Jews, refusal to denounce the mis-treatment of women, advocation of stoning & violent punishments etc. Dislike of Shia's was also raised.
    This kind of attitude may not be typical of all muslims but to say its rare may be a bit of a tall assumption.

    2 of these guys have actually brought me in food and all that their wifes have made for me because I have told them of my love for Indian cooking and spicy foods.
    Its quite a brain melt trying to decide whether I should treat them differently because they are from a different background, or ignore them as their beliefs are so messed up to me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    PDN wrote: »
    If you're a Muslim then you shouldn't worship a man at all. I would have thought that in order for someone to describe themselves as 'pro-islam' they might have even the tiniest understanding of Islam - but apparently not in your case.

    Pfft, you know what I mean- they look up to him and strive to emulate him. And for your information, I have a pretty damn good knowledge of Islam, not that it matters that I should have to justify myself to the likes of you

    Conar, I'd recommend treating these men nicely as they have been so kind to you and setting religion aside. And yeah, it is easier said than done, but people should be treated solely based on their personalities and actions, not their religion. But as for the hatred and Jews and violent punishments, if the person really believes all parts of Islam, then they will agree with both, as it is written in the Qur'an

    All I want is answers- how do people justify the religion when they know of the occurances that I mentioned before in my questions?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭passive


    Jannah wrote: »
    I swear on the very beings of my existance that it is entirely true. I have names, I have a place and many people saw me- its pretty ignorant of you to ASSUME that I am lying, despite the fact that I was pro-Islam (albeit having doubts) before I talked to this person

    Hmm... Well I apologise then, sorry. It just read too much like a parody/quintessential example of everything people dislike about "evil muslims" etc.. Oh dear, in that case... Oh dear... :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,686 ✭✭✭✭PDN


    Jannah wrote: »
    Pfft, you know what I mean- they look up to him and strive to emulate him. And for your information, I have a pretty damn good knowledge of Islam, not that it matters that I should have to justify myself to the likes of you

    When you post on an internet message board then you invite responses from the likes of me.

    Since the avoidance of idolatry is such an integral part of Islam, I find it incredible that anyone who is 'pro-Islam' would use the word "worship" and apply it to Mohammed.

    From where I'm standing your knowledge of Islam looks about as genuine as that 'conversation'.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    now now, two of you play nice.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    Yeah, play nice people :)

    Regardless of whether or not that conversation happened, I think that Jannah at least deserves the benefit of the doubt. Only God can know her true intention. As it happens, I too was taken aback by the presence of the word "worship" but we could put it down to a typo for now.

    As for your questions Jannah, they have all actually been covered on this forum at one stage or another. If you like, I could try my best to answer them one at a time keeping in mind that I'm not a scholar. Might be better through PM to avoid massive off-topic posts and attacks by other posters if you're looking for concise answers. On the other hand, they can be done here on the forum but I'd suggest one question per thread and not moving on to the next question until the first one has been dealt with.

    Finally, that guy (from the conversation in the original post) is an idiot. Ignorance of Islam in non-Muslims is bad but ignorance of Islam in Muslims is even worse! Oh, woe is me!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 699 ✭✭✭DinoBot


    Jannah,

    The conversation you posted is similar to one I have heard 100's of times. In fact its more typical of born Muslims than converts IMO. Because I think Islam creates a mindset that converts don't have because chances are , their moral framework was build up in a secular society and not an Islamic one.

    Its a very similar experience that drove me from Islam as well. When I felt that following Islam was actually going against what I felt to be morally correct, I knew at that point, religion is not for me. You need to switch off you moral compass to follow religion.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,418 ✭✭✭JimiTime


    My only question Jannah, is why is it you were 'pro-islam' in the first place? And what does it mean to be 'pro-islam'? Is it, you adhere to its teachings? You support Islamic agenda's but don't practice the faith etc? I'm a bit confused.:confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    DinoBot wrote:
    You need to switch off you moral compass to follow religion.
    I wouldn't agree with that. I think that in some cases, it's that a certain aspect of religion is not properly understood so it might seem at first to be immoral but, upon closer inspection and better understanding of the religious principle, it's not what you originally thought. I think that in other cases, it could also be a case of perhaps not quite realising quite how immoral something is. Sometimes, it's religion that can be your moral compass :) I guess it depends on your faith. If you believe in God and you believe that the Quran/Bible/Torah's commandments are God's commandments then you accept that perhaps you don't necessarily see the whole picture or perhaps don't quite "get it" as it were. There are some things that I didn't quite get before and get now and there are some things that I'm still learning as I grow older.
    JimiTime wrote:
    I'm a bit confused. :confused:
    Same here actually. Perhaps you might clear up our clouds of confusion for us Jannah? :) I saw in your roll call post that you said that you were a "a practicing Muslim" and now you're saying that you were pro-Islam. I hope you're not one of those people who pretends to be Muslim just to bring it into disrepute later on. I'm not saying you are mind you. Just saying that I hope you're not so please don't take that the wrong way ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 699 ✭✭✭DinoBot


    the_new_mr wrote: »
    There are some things that I didn't quite get before and get now and there are some things that I'm still learning as I grow older.

    Can you give an example of something you didnt get but now do. I never got the part of marrying a child, slavery, segregation of the sexes, hijab ........

    So alot of people felt the answers the muslim gave were incorrect so, how you you answer them ?
    Me: "But isn't Sharia very cruel? I saw a video of a woman buried up to her waist and grown men screaming 'Allahu Akbar' and throwing stones at her. And the cutting off of hands... isn't it wrong?"
    Him: "Well. A woman approached the Prophet, she had become pregnant outside marriage. He allowed her to have to child and when the child was old enough, the only way to cleanse her of her sins was to stone her. That way people don't do it again."

    Is the Sharia cruel ? Is this view against Islam. Was the prophet wrong in stoning the woman ?

    Me: "Okay... I also wanted to talk about polygamy- I know if I was married to someone I would be very jealous and upset if he took on another wife...?"
    Him: "Well. Feelings cannot be helped. All a man can do is spend equal time with each."
    Me: "So he's just going to ignore what his wife feels and pretend its out of his contol... when HE caused it?!"
    Him: "Its their problem, not his."

    If a woman complains about her husband taking on a second wife, who's problem is this ? Is it not a mans right given by God to take on a second wife ? Or should he listen to his wife and obey what she wants ?
    Me: "I'm having a hard time trying to explain the whole Aisha thing... the common argument is that, although she was technically physically a woman, she surely wasn't emotionally able for a relationship at 9 years old- especially with a 53 year old man?!"
    Him: "Back then... it was different... if they parents agreed... well... nowadays 9 is too young..."
    Me: "But it still happens. How are little girls supposed to be protected when they can just say 'well, the propet did it- so why can't I?'"

    Is it possible to say marrying a child is haram ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    DinoBot wrote:
    Can you give an example of something you didnt get but now do.
    I can actually.

    I spent most of my youth in Europe and I remember having a conversation with an aunt of mine in Egypt about how I thought that the main reason that people made such a big deal about a woman's arms not being covered was because they weren't used to it. In many ways, that's actually quite true. If it's very common then it becomes the norm... but only to an extent. Looking back on it now, I can see that I was lying to myself a little bit really. Not only that but as I got older, I think that I myself began to realise more and more the significance and beauty of a woman's arms. That's me being brutally honest now :) Even though I was born a Muslim, I hadn't really thought about it honestly with myself until I got a bit older.

    Also, I think that there have been enough poems and songs by Western poets and songwriters about the beauty of a woman's body and the arms are often mentioned.

    So, I can see how I thought back then to how I think now upon further reflection. One plus about that is that I can see how a non-Muslim or someone on the outside may see Islam or think so that helps a bit when I'm talking about it with them. Unfortunately, so many Muslims just don't get how a non-Muslim might see it and sort of "talk down" on them as a result.
    DinoBot wrote:
    I never got the part of marrying a child, slavery, segregation of the sexes, hijab ........
    I think that each of those has been handled already on this forum (as you well know) so I won't go into them here. Suffice to say that with each of those, people either have a misunderstanding or are misinformed.
    DinoBot wrote:
    Is the Sharia cruel ? Is this view against Islam. Was the prophet wrong in stoning the woman ?
    Just for the record, there is talk about the authenticity of this hadith especially considering how there is no mention of stoning in the Quran.

    Even if the hadith is authentic, it's important and only fair to explain it in detail. The Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him) was actually reluctant to stone the woman although she requested it. She wanted to be stoned right away but he said to go and give birth first to give the child a chance at life hoping that she would change her mind once she gave birth. After giving birth, she is reported to have come back insisting that she now received the punishment. He then instructed her to spend two years nursing the child again hoping that she would change her mind but, after the two years, she returned and left the Prophet with no apparent choice.

    That's what the hadith says but, as I say, it's not definite that it's authentic.
    DinoBot wrote:
    If a woman complains about her husband taking on a second wife, who's problem is this ? Is it not a mans right given by God to take on a second wife ? Or should he listen to his wife and obey what she wants ?
    It is a man's right but it's also a man's responsibility to ensure that he's not causing his first wife to be miserable. In the end, a man would have to be stupid if it was going to drive his wife crazy.

    One should remember the advice of the Prophet Mohamed:
    "The best of you are the best to their families and I am the best to mine"

    It's worth mentioning here that a lot of people often get the idea of a man with more than one wife as some kind of womanising guy or something. Unfortunately, this is the case sometimes but certainly not always. It's confirmed that the Prophet himself had a number of wives but it's very important to know the circumstances that each one was married under. A large majority of them were old widows in need for financial and emotional support. Some of them were to bring peace between tribes. People back then were so ridiculous that they used to begin blood feuds because of losing a horse race!! So, the Prophet often put an end of feuds by marrying a member of the other tribe.

    So, if someone is so enthusiastic about following the Prophet's example, perhaps they should see if they can find an old widow that needs companionship instead of just following their lusts (as some men do).

    Concerning the marriage of the Prophet to Aisha (only one of three wives who were under the age of 30 when the Prophet married them and only one of two who wasn't previously a widow), I think I've already talked at length about this subject. To summarise:

    1.: I don't believe that Aisha was actually that young when she married the Prophet (due to a combination of information from various hadith) and was in fact in her mid-teens or even as late as 18.

    2.: Even if she was young, there is a difference between marriage and the consummation of marriage. According to the stories of Aisha being very young at the age of marriage (which I've already stated I don't think is true), Aisha was quite young at the age or marriage (between 7 and 9) but the marriage wasn't consummated until later (between 11 and 14). It's worth remembering also that people back then literally matured earlier because that's the way they were brought up. For example, Osama Bin Zaid was the leader of the Muslim army at 18!! I think that at 18, I might have been fit to lead my friends on a trip to England but certainly not to be a military commander :)

    Psychologists today also state how, despite the fact that a lot of people may become old for their age at a young age, people are actually maturing to full maturity later and later these days. I'd say I can vouch for that if some crazy antics with my friends from my college days are anything to go by :)

    Below is an article that I got from some forum some time go about how Aisha was actually older. People here might find it interesting.
    Was Ayesha A Six-Year-Old Bride?
    The Ancient Myth Exposed
    by T.O. Shanavas
    A Christian friend asked me once, “Will you marry your seven year old daughter to a fifty year old man?” I kept my silence. He continued, “If you would not, how can you approve the marriage of an innocent seven year old, Ayesha, with your Prophet?” I told him, “I don’t have an answer to your question at this time.” My friend smiled and left me with a thorn in the heart of my faith. Most Muslims answer that such marriages were accepted in those days. Otherwise, people would have objected to Prophet’s marriage with Ayesha.
    However, such an explanation would be gullible only for those who are naive enough to believe it. But unfortunately, I was not satisfied with the answer.
    The Prophet was an exemplary man. All his actions were most virtuous so that we, Muslims, can emulate them. However, most people in our Islamic Center of Toledo, including me, would not think of betrothing our seven years daughter to a fifty-two year-old man. If a parent agrees to such a wedding, most people, if not all, would look down upon the father and the old husband.
    In 1923, registrars of marriage in Egypt were instructed not to register and issue official certificates of marriage for brides less than sixteen and grooms less than eighteen years of age. Eight years later, the Law of the Organization and Procedure of Sheriah courts of 1931 consolidated the above provision by not hearing the marriage disputes involving brides less than sixteen and grooms less than eighteen years old. (Women in Muslim Family Law, John Esposito, 1982). It shows that even in the Muslim majority country of Egypt the child marriages are unacceptable.
    So, I believed, without solid evidence other than my reverence to my Prophet, that the stories of the marriage of seven-year-old Ayesha to 50-year-old Prophet are only myths. However, my long pursuit in search of the truth on this matter proved my intuition correct. My Prophet was a gentleman. And he did not marry an innocent seven or nine year old girl. The age of Ayesha has been erroneously reported in the hadith literature. Furthermore, I think that the narratives reporting this event are highly unreliable. Some of the hadith (traditions of the Prophet) regarding Ayesha’s age at the time of her wedding with prophet are problematic. I present the following evidences against the acceptance of the fictitious story by Hisham ibn ‘Urwah and to clear the name of my Prophet as an irresponsible old man preying on an innocent little girl.

    EVIDENCE #1: Reliability of Source
    Most of the narratives printed in the books of hadith are reported only by Hisham ibn `Urwah, who was reporting on the authority of his father. First of all, more people than just one, two or three should logically have reported. It is strange that no one from Medina, where Hisham ibn `Urwah lived the first 71 years of his life narrated the event, despite the fact that his Medinan pupils included the well-respected Malik ibn Anas. The origins of the report of the narratives of this event are people from Iraq, where Hisham is reported to have shifted after living in Medina for most of his life.
    Tehzibu’l-Tehzib, one of the most well known books on the life and reliability of the narrators of the traditions of the Prophet, reports that according to Yaqub ibn Shaibah: “He [Hisham] is highly reliable, his narratives are acceptable, except what he narrated after moving over to Iraq” (Tehzi’bu’l-tehzi’b, Ibn Hajar Al-`asqala’ni, Dar Ihya al-turath al-Islami, 15th century. Vol 11, p. 50).
    It further states that Malik ibn Anas objected on those narratives of Hisham which were reported through people in Iraq: “I have been told that Malik objected on those narratives of Hisham which were reported through people of Iraq” (Tehzi’b u’l-tehzi’b, Ibn Hajar Al-`asqala’ni, Dar Ihya al-turath al-Islami, Vol.11, p. 50).
    Mizanu’l-ai`tidal, another book on the life sketches of the narrators of the traditions of the Prophet reports: “When he was old, Hisham’s memory suffered quite badly” (Mizanu’l-ai`tidal, Al-Zahbi, Al-Maktabatu’l-athriyyah, Sheikhupura, Pakistan, Vol. 4, p. 301).
    CONCLUSION: Based on these references, Hisham’s memory was failing and his narratives while in Iraq were unreliable. So, his narrative of Ayesha’s marriage and age are unreliable.
    CHRONOLOGY: It is vital also to keep in mind some of the pertinent dates in the history of Islam:
    • pre-610 CE: Jahiliya (pre-Islamic age) before revelation
    • 610 CE: First revelation
    • 610 CE: AbuBakr accepts Islam
    • 613 CE: Prophet Muhammad begins preaching publicly.
    • 615 CE: Emigration to Abyssinia
    • 616 CE: Umar bin al Khattab accepts Islam
    • 620 CE: Generally accepted betrothal of Ayesha to the Prophet
    • 622 CE: Hijrah (emigation to Yathrib, later renamed Medina)
    • 623/624 CE: Generally accepted year of Ayesha living with the Prophet
    EVIDENCE #2: The Betrothal
    According to Tabari (also according to Hisham ibn ‘Urwah, Ibn Hunbal and Ibn Sad), Ayesha was betrothed at seven years of age and began to cohabit with the Prophet at the age of nine years.
    However, in another work, Al-Tabari says: “All four of his [Abu Bakr’s] children were born of his two wives during the pre-Islamic period” (Tarikhu’l-umam wa’l-mamlu’k, Al-Tabari (died 922), Vol. 4, p. 50, Arabic, Dara’l-fikr, Beirut, 1979).
    If Ayesha was betrothed in 620 CE (at the age of seven) and started to live with the Prophet in 624 CE (at the age of nine), that would indicate that she was born in 613 CE and was nine when she began living with the Prophet. Therefore, based on one account of Al-Tabari, the numbers show that Ayesha must have born in 613 CE, three years after the beginning of revelation (610 CE). Tabari also states that Ayesha was born in the pre-Islamic era (in Jahiliya). If she was born before 610 CE, she would have been at least 14 years old when she began living with the Prophet. Essentially, Tabari contradicts himself.
    CONCLUSION: Al-Tabari is unreliable in the matter of determining Ayesha’s age.

    EVIDENCE # 3: The Age of Ayesha in Relation to the Age of Fatima
    According to Ibn Hajar, “Fatima was born at the time the Ka`bah was rebuilt, when the Prophet was 35 years old... she was five years older that Ayesha” (Al-isabah fi tamyizi’l-sahabah, Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, Vol. 4, p. 377, Maktabatu’l-Riyadh al-haditha, al-Riyadh, 1978).
    If Ibn Hajar’s statement is factual, Ayesha was born when the Prophet was 40 years old. If Ayesha was married to the Prophet when he was 52 years old, Ayesha’s age at marriage would be 12 years.
    CONCLUSION: Ibn Hajar, Tabari an Ibn Hisham and Ibn Humbal contradict each other. So, the marriage of Ayesha at seven years of age is a myth.

    EVIDENCE #4: Ayesha’s Age in relation to Asma’s Age
    According to Abda’l-Rahman ibn abi zanna’d: “Asma was 10 years older than Ayesha (Siyar A`la’ma’l-nubala’, Al-Zahabi, Vol. 2, p. 289, Arabic, Mu’assasatu’l-risalah, Beirut, 1992).
    According to Ibn Kathir: “She [Asma] was elder to her sister [Ayesha] by 10 years” (Al-Bidayah wa’l-nihayah, Ibn Kathir, Vol. 8, p. 371, Dar al-fikr al-`arabi, Al-jizah, 1933).
    According to Ibn Kathir: “She [Asma] saw the killing of her son during that year [73 AH], as we have already mentioned, and five days later she herself died. According to other narratives, she died not after five days but 10 or 20, or a few days over 20, or 100 days later. The most well known narrative is that of 100 days later. At the time of her death, she was 100 years old.” (Al-Bidayah wa’l-nihayah, Ibn Kathir, Vol. 8, p. 372, Dar al-fikr al-`arabi, Al-jizah, 1933)
    According to Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani: “She [Asma] lived a hundred years and died in 73 or 74 AH.” (Taqribu’l-tehzib, Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani, p. 654, Arabic, Bab fi’l-nisa’, al-harfu’l-alif, Lucknow).
    According to almost all the historians, Asma, the elder sister of Ayesha was 10 years older than Ayesha. If Asma was 100 years old in 73 AH, she should have been 27 or 28 years old at the time of the hijrah.
    If Asma was 27 or 28 years old at the time of hijrah, Ayesha should have been 17 or 18 years old. Thus, Ayesha, being 17 or 18 years of at the time of Hijra, she started to cohabit with the Prophet between at either 19 to 20 years of age.
    Based on Hajar, Ibn Katir, and Abda’l-Rahman ibn abi zanna’d, Ayesha’s age at the time she began living with the Prophet would be 19 or 20. In Evidence # 3, Ibn Hajar suggests that Ayesha was 12 years old and in Evidence #4 he contradicts himself with a 17 or 18-year-old Ayesha. What is the correct age, twelve or eighteen?
    CONCLUSION: Ibn Hajar is an unreliable source for Ayesha’s age.

    EVIDENCE #5: The Battles of Badr and Uhud
    A narrative regarding Ayesha’s participation in Badr is given in the hadith of Muslim, (Kitabu’l-jihad wa’l-siyar, Bab karahiyati’l-isti`anah fi’l-ghazwi bikafir). Ayesha, while narrating the journey to Badr and one of the important events that took place in that journey, says: “when we reached Shajarah”. Obviously, Ayesha was with the group travelling towards Badr. A narrative regarding Ayesha’s participation in the Battle of Uhud is given in Bukhari (Kitabu’l-jihad wa’l-siyar, Bab Ghazwi’l-nisa’ wa qitalihinna ma`a’lrijal): “Anas reports that on the day of Uhud, people could not stand their ground around the Prophet. [On that day,] I saw Ayesha and Umm-i-Sulaim, they had pulled their dress up from their feet [to avoid any hindrance in their movement].” Again, this indicates that Ayesha was present in the Battles of Uhud and Badr.
    It is narrated in Bukhari (Kitabu’l-maghazi, Bab Ghazwati’l-khandaq wa hiya’l-ahza’b): “Ibn `Umar states that the Prophet did not permit me to participate in Uhud, as at that time, I was 14 years old. But on the day of Khandaq, when I was 15 years old, the Prophet permitted my participation.”
    Based on the above narratives, (a) the children below 15 years were sent back and were not allowed to participate in the Battle of Uhud, and (b) Ayesha participated in the Battles of Badr and Uhud
    CONCLUSION: Ayesha’s participation in the Battles of Badr and Uhud clearly indicates that she was not nine years old but at least 15 years old. After all, women used to accompany men to the battlefields to help them, not to be a burden on them. This account is another contradiction regarding Ayesha’s age.

    EVIDENCE #6: Surat al-Qamar (The Moon)
    According to the generally accepted tradition, Ayesha was born about eight years before hijrah. But according to another narrative in Bukhari, Ayesha is reported to have said: “I was a young girl (jariyah in Arabic)” when Surah Al-Qamar was revealed (Sahih Bukhari, kitabu’l-tafsir, Bab Qaulihi Bal al-sa`atu Maw`iduhum wa’l-sa`atu adha’ wa amarr).
    Chapter 54 of the Quran was revealed eight years before hijrah (The Bounteous Koran, M.M. Khatib, 1985), indicating that it was revealed in 614 CE. If Ayesha started living with the Prophet at the age of nine in 623 CE or 624 CE, she was a newborn infant (sibyah in Arabic) at the time that Surah Al-Qamar (The Moon) was revealed. According to the above tradition, Ayesha was actually a young girl, not an infant in the year of revelation of Al-Qamar. Jariyah means young playful girl (Lane’s Arabic English Lexicon). So, Ayesha, being a jariyah not a sibyah (infant), must be somewhere between 6-13 years old at the time of revelation of Al-Qamar, and therefore must have been 14-21 years at the time she married the Prophet.
    CONCLUSION: This tradition also contradicts the marriage of Ayesha at the age of nine.

    EVIDENCE #7: Arabic Terminology
    According to a narrative reported by Ahmad ibn Hanbal, after the death of the Prophet’s first wife Khadijah, when Khaulah came to the Prophet advising him to marry again, the Prophet asked her regarding the choices she had in mind. Khaulah said: “You can marry a virgin (bikr) or a woman who has already been married (thayyib)”. When the Prophet asked the identity of the bikr (virgin), Khaulah mentioned Ayesha’s name.
    All those who know the Arabic language are aware that the word bikr in the Arabic language is not used for an immature nine-year-old girl. The correct word for a young playful girl, as stated earlier, is jariyah. Bikr on the other hand, is used for an unmarried lady without conjugal experience prior to marriage, as we understand the word “virgin” in English. Therefore, obviously a nine-year-old girl is not a “lady” (bikr) (Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Vol. 6, p. .210, Arabic, Dar Ihya al-turath al-`arabi, Beirut).
    CONCLUSION: The literal meaning of the word, bikr (virgin), in the above hadith is “adult woman with no sexual experience prior to marriage.” Therefore, Ayesha was an adult woman at the time of her marriage.

    EVIDENCE #8. The Qur’anic Text
    All Muslims agree that the Quran is the book of guidance. So, we need to seek the guidance from the Quran to clear the smoke and confusion created by the eminent men of the classical period of Islam in the matter of Ayesha’s age at her marriage. Does the Quran allow or disallow marriage of an immature child of seven years of age?
    There are no verses that explicitly allow such marriage. There is a verse, however, that guides Muslims in their duty to raise an orphaned child. The Quran’s guidance on the topic of raising orphans is also valid in the case of our own children. The verse states: “And make not over your property (property of the orphan), which Allah had made a (means of) support for you, to the weak of understanding, and maintain them out of it, clothe them and give them good education. And test them until they reach the age of marriage. Then if you find them maturity of intellect, make over them their property...” (Quran, 4:5-6).
    In the matter of children who have lost a parent, a Muslim is ordered to (a) feed them, (b) clothe them, (c) educate them, and (d) test them for maturity “until the age of marriage” before entrusting them with management of finances.
    Here the Quranic verse demands meticulous proof of their intellectual and physical maturity by objective test results before the age of marriage in order to entrust their property to them.
    In light of the above verses, no responsible Muslim would hand over financial management to a seven- or nine-year-old immature girl. If we cannot trust a seven-year-old to manage financial matters, she cannot be intellectually or physically fit for marriage. Ibn Hambal (Musnad Ahmad ibn Hambal, vol.6, p. 33 and 99) claims that nine-year-old Ayesha was rather more interested in playing with toy-horses than taking up the responsible task of a wife. It is difficult to believe, therefore, that AbuBakr, a great believer among Muslims, would betroth his immature seven-year-old daughter to the 50-year-old Prophet. Equally difficult to imagine is that the Prophet would marry an immature seven-year-old girl.
    Another important duty demanded from the guardian of a child is to educate them. Let us ask the question, “How many of us believe that we can educate our children satisfactorily before they reach the age of seven or nine years?” The answer is none. Logically, it is an impossible task to educate a child satisfactorily before the child attains the age of seven. Then, how can we believe that Ayesha was educated satisfactorily at the claimed age of seven at the time of her marriage?
    AbuBakr was a more judicious man than all of us. So, he definitely would have judged that Ayesha was a child at heart and was not satisfactorily educated as demanded by the Quran. He would not have married her to anyone. If a proposal of marrying the immature and yet to be educated seven-year-old Ayesha came to the Prophet, he would have rejected it outright because neither the Prophet nor AbuBakr would violate any clause in the Quran.
    CONCLUSION: The marriage of Ayesha at the age of seven years would violate the maturity clause or requirement of the Quran. Therefore, the story of the marriage of the seven-year-old immature Ayesha is a myth.

    EVIDENCE #9: Consent in Marriage
    A women must be consulted and must agree in order to make a marriage valid (Mishakat al Masabiah, translation by James Robson, Vol. I, p. 665). Islamically, credible permission from women is a prerequisite for a marriage to be valid.
    By any stretch of the imagination, the permission given by an immature seven-year-old girl cannot be valid authorization for marriage.
    It is inconceivable that AbuBakr, an intelligent man, would take seriously the permission of a seven-year-old girl to marry a 50-year-old man.
    Similarly, the Prophet would not have accepted the permission given by a girl who, according to the hadith of Muslim, took her toys with her when she went live with Prophet.
    CONCLUSION: The Prophet did not marry a seven-year-old Ayesha because it would have violated the requirement of the valid permission clause of the Islamic Marriage Decree. Therefore, the Prophet married an intellectually and physically mature lady Ayesha.

    SUMMARY:
    It was neither an Arab tradition to give away girls in marriage at an age as young as seven or nine years, nor did the Prophet marry Ayesha at such a young age. The people of Arabia did not object to this marriage because it never happened in the manner it has been narrated.
    Obviously, the narrative of the marriage of nine-year-old Ayesha by Hisham ibn `Urwah cannot be held true when it is contradicted by many other reported narratives. Moreover, there is absolutely no reason to accept the narrative of Hisham ibn `Urwah as true when other scholars, including Malik ibn Anas, view his narrative while in Iraq, as unreliable. The quotations from Tabari, Bukhari and Muslim show they contradict each other regarding Ayesha’s age. Furthermore, many of these scholars contradict themselves in their own records. Thus, the narrative of Ayesha’s age at the time of the marriage is not reliable due to the clear contradictions seen in the works of classical scholars of Islam.
    Therefore, there is absolutely no reason to believe that the information on Ayesha’s age is accepted as true when there are adequate grounds to reject it as myth. Moreover, the Quran rejects the marriage of immature girls and boys as well as entrusting them with responsibilities.

    T.O. Shanavas is a physician based in Michigan. This article first appeared in The Minaret in March 1999.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    DinoBot wrote: »
    I think Islam creates a mindset that converts don't have because chances are , their moral framework was build up in a secular society and not an Islamic one.
    When I felt that following Islam was actually going against what I felt to be morally correct, I knew at that point, religion is not for me.
    You need to switch off you moral compass to follow religion.
    Yes, yes and yes again!! Thats exactly what I came to the conclusion of too- the more I looked into the religion the more I saw things that had to be justified in a way that just wasn't my moral idea of 'right'. It seemed that whenever I asked a Muslim a question (even an iman) they would respond in a roundabout way that didn't answer what I had asked at all. But even the answers that are out there, I just really can't condone any of those ideas- we don't need religion to know what is right from wrong. Will being fluent in Arabic, knowing a couple surahs or knowing prayer positions make me any better of a person than what I would be if I just followed my common sense?!
    JimiTime wrote: »
    My only question Jannah, is why is it you were 'pro-islam' in the first place? And what does it mean to be 'pro-islam'? Is it, you adhere to its teachings? You support Islamic agenda's but don't practice the faith etc? I'm a bit confused.:confused:

    I was pro-Islam because I believed that its ideals were something that I could agree on and something that I shared by beliefs with. In the end I realised that what I was reading the the Qur'an was something that I had known for all my life- treat otheres kindly. The fact is, when one book is given such an elevated status, it is left open for people to interpret to suit themselves and for their own agendas (political or otherwise) when the actual fact is that we don't NEED a book to tell us what to do- we already know! 7th century Arabia may have needed someone to say "Hey, stop killing your little girls and beating your women" but these days, we've matured beyond its teachings
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    I wouldn't agree with that. I think that in some cases, it's that a certain aspect of religion is not properly understood so it might seem at first to be immoral but, upon closer inspection and better understanding of the religious principle, it's not what you originally thought.

    Why should anyone have to justify something that was decided upon so long ago and try to make it relevant? Why can't we all just live with the human rights we have now and be grateful that overall intelect of the people has evolved beyond this text so that it is oppressing people instead of helping them. Some of the greatest crimes of humanity have been in the name of religion.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    Not only that but as I got older, I think that I myself began to realise more and more the significance and beauty of a woman's arms. That's me being brutally honest now :) Even though I was born a Muslim, I hadn't really thought about it honestly with myself until I got a bit older.
    And the moral of the story- allow men to develop their own respect for women! Why should us women bake in the summer heat in long sleeves because of the fault of men? Did they ever think of the practicality of wearing long clothes? No. Something I've only started realising recently is the huge increase of women converting to Islam in the west... at the same time that image is becoming hugely emphasised. How will women ever learn to accept their bodies and change how people relate to them when they throw in the towel and decide to don hijab? And yes, a lot do it of their free will, but I really do think that some women adopt hijab/ niqab to hide their insecurities and not their beauty.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    Just for the record, there is talk about the authenticity of this hadith especially considering how there is no mention of stoning in the Quran.
    Yes, not specifically stoning, but it does say in the qu'ran:
    4:15 "As for those who are guilty of lewdness from among your women, bring four witnesses against them from among yourselves, and if they bear witness, confine them to their houses till death takes them away or God makes some way for them"
    So if we are to be proper Muslims and believe the word of God, then we SHOULD believe that women who have sex outside marriage deserve to die. Notice how they only mention 'women'- men, on the other hand, only get flogged for the same crime. Ahhh, equality.

    I'm quite weary of how people will tell me "Well, I've never seen it happen" or "hmmm, yes, but its very hard to find 4 witnesses" - the fact is that these things DO happen and they are allowed in the name of God.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    One should remember the advice of the Prophet Mohamed: "The best of you are the best to their families and I am the best to mine"
    Yes, he did, but the same man also hit his 'favourite' wife Aisha when she left the house without his permission:
    Hadith 4:2127 "He struck me on the chest which caused me pain." Are these the actions of a loving husband?

    You mentioned that Muhammad married women to solve feuds, help old widows etc... what ever happened to talking things over? What about giving charity and allowing these womens to support themselves and have some dignity? Surely these would have been better solutions that to propose a loveless marriage to solve their problems?

    The vast majority of scholars agreed that Aisha was 6 when married and 9 when this marriage was consumated. Once again, maturity is questionable- she left her dolls when she went to marry Muhammad. Also, its worth noting that biologically if one choosing to do the deed with a child it can cause for her to become infertile... how many children did Aisha have in her long marriage to Muhammad...??

    http://images.google.ie/imgres?imgurl=http://marcsteinerblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/nyt1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://marcsteinerblog.wordpress.com/2008/02/21/221-child-brides-stolen-lives/&h=425&w=650&sz=337&hl=en&start=2&um=1&tbnid=opGPitCerZxRGM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=137&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchild%2Bbrides%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26sa%3DN

    This man is YOUNGER than Muhammad would have been and the girl is OLDER than Aisha would have been. Does maturity count much when you look at the likes of that? The fact is, and Dinobot made this point earlier, that because Muhammad married a child, there is no way of protecting the children in Sharia ruled countries today because the men can justify it by saying if the prophet can do it, why can't he?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    Jannah wrote:
    Will being fluent in Arabic, knowing a couple surahs or knowing prayer positions make me any better of a person than what I would be if I just followed my common sense?!
    No, it won't. You don't need to be fluent in Arabic, just memorising a few Surahs and knowing how to pray will never make you a better person. It's the spiritual development that can be done as a result. Not forgetting the relationship that you develop with God if you believe that He gives commands to pray, be charitable, etc.
    Jannah wrote:
    Why should anyone have to justify something that was decided upon so long ago and try to make it relevant? Why can't we all just live with the human rights we have now and be grateful that overall intelect of the people has evolved beyond this text so that it is oppressing people instead of helping them. Some of the greatest crimes of humanity have been in the name of religion.
    Even greater crimes have been done when religion has had nothing to do with it. World wars 1 and 2, Stalin etc.

    It might seem like a nice idea to just "let our common sense guide us" but, alas, one person's sense of common sense is different to another's. So, it's not so common.
    Jannah wrote:
    And the moral of the story- allow men to develop their own respect for women!
    I'm offended that you say such a thing. Are you implying that I don't have any respect for women? That's very hurtful. I think you'll find that I have the utmost respect for women. Don't take my word for it. Ask my sister or other female family members. Perhaps you should take off your goggles with the stereotypical mist applied to them and start thinking for yourself?

    You yourself mentioned in another thread on here about how it's to do with modesty and following God's command out of love for Him and how it gives a woman a feeling of empowerment when she's being appreciated for who she is rather than just what she looks like.

    Don't forget that God tells me to lower my gaze. Men aren't supposed to ogle and women's bodies. If a women showing a certain amount of skin walks by. I try my best not to look because I know that:
    a) God tells me not to
    b) The woman deserves not to be looked at
    c) It's better for my soul not to look

    A lot of this kinda goes back to my post about Understanding Islam from the front door. If you're a Muslim and you sincerely believe that these are the commandments of God then you can find it easier to follow them. That's not to say that there's wisdom behind them. Sometimes, we may know the wisdom behind them and sometimes we may not. In the end, we have the choice of whether or not to follow them.
    Jannah wrote:
    Did they ever think of the practicality of wearing long clothes?
    Who is this "they" that you speak of? Clearly, you don't believe that Islam is a message from God. That's your choice and you're completely free to hold that opinion but I don't believe that these rules were man made and neither does any Muslim who follows them. I think that if you ask any Muslim woman who wears hijab (convert or not) then they'll tell you that they're doing it because they know that God wants them to do it (out of modesty as commanded in the Quran). And if that's not why they're doing it then they're doing it for the wrong reasons.

    And men are supposed to be modest in clothing too you know. We don't cover our hair but we aren't supposed to wear any clothes that reveal any more than they need to.
    Jannah wrote:
    4:15 "As for those who are guilty of lewdness from among your women, bring four witnesses against them from among yourselves, and if they bear witness, confine them to their houses till death takes them away or God makes some way for them"
    The verse you refer to is with reference to lesbianism by the way. A slightly better translation (by Mohamed Asad):

    An-Nisa':15
    "And as for those of your women who become guilty of immoral conduct, call upon four from among you who have witnessed their guilt; and if these bear witness thereto, confine the guilty women to their houses until death takes them away or God opens for them a way [through repentance]."

    Clearly, you are misinformed about the situation of equality with men and women when it comes to fornication outside of marriage. The following verse covers the case for both men and women.

    Al-Nur 2-3
    "As for the adulteress and the adulterer flog each of them with a hundred stripes, and let not compassion with them keep you from [carrying out] this law of God, if you [truly] believe in God and the Last Day; and let a group of the believers witness their chastisement; [Both are equally guilty:] the adulterer couples with none other than an adulteress - that is, a woman who accords [to her own lust] a place side by side with God; and with the adulteress couples none other than an adulterer - that is, a man who accords [to his own lust] a place side by side with God: and this is forbidden unto the believers."

    A hadith was mentioned before concerning the woman who insisted on being stoned after committing adultery. I mentioned how the authenticity of the hadith is being discussed in Islamic circles. It's also important to note that another hadith (whose authenticity is also being discussed) concerns a man in the same kind of situation so it can be seen that even in hadiths whose authenticity is questionable, there is equality in this respect.

    And let's keep something in mind here. As I've mentioned on this forum before, who in their right mind would not only commit adultery but also allow four (count'em... FOUR!!) witnesses see them in the act beyond any shadow of a doubt that adultery has been committed? It's almost as if the punishment is more to do with a crime against the society (and God knows best).

    And let us look at the very next verse in this surah that warns people against accusing chaste women of adultery.

    Al-Nur:4-5
    "And as for those who accuse chaste women [of adultery], and then are unable to produce four witnesses [in support of their accusation], flog them with eighty stripes and ever after refuse to accept from them any testimony - since it is they, they that are truly depraved!; excepting [from this interdict] only those who afterwards repent and made amends: for, behold, God is much forgiving, a dispenser of grace."

    God knows how many times I've heard awful things said about girls with no proof to back up these statements which resulted in the girl's reputation being tarnished.

    There's one story of how Omar Ibn Al-Khattab (the second khalipha of the Muslim state after the death of the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him)) mentioned that he was witness to an act of adultery whilst passing by a house in the city.

    Upon declaring what he witnessed to the people, Ali (the Prophet's cousin and to be fourth khalipha) said that unless Omar had three other witnesses, he should cease to say what he's saying. Omar then said: "People, I am the khalipha and I have seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears" upon which Ali replied "Omar! If you mention any names, I shall be forced to flog you 80 times!". Oman quickly realised that he was about to commit a crime and stopped.
    Jannah wrote:
    Hadith 4:2127 "He struck me on the chest which caused me pain." Are these the actions of a loving husband?
    I very much doubt the authenticity of this hadith as there are (at least) two very well known hadith against this.

    One reported by Aisha saying that she "never saw the Messenger of Allah ever hit a servant of his or a woman of his"

    And another where the Prophet said "How can one of you hit his wife as he hits his camel and then sleep in the same bed with her at night?"
    Jannah wrote:
    You mentioned that Muhammad married women to solve feuds, help old widows etc... what ever happened to talking things over?
    Did you read what I said in my last post? These people had feuds because of a horse race!!! :) They were nuts!! Somehow, I don't think "talking things over" would have worked in all cases :)
    Jannah wrote:
    What about giving charity and allowing these womens to support themselves and have some dignity? Surely these would have been better solutions that to propose a loveless marriage to solve their problems?
    Who said they were loveless? And what about companionship? And the physical side of a relationship that none of us should be ashamed of?
    Jannah wrote:
    The vast majority of scholars agreed that Aisha was 6 when married and 9 when this marriage was consumated.
    Well, I've said what I can say including the article I quoted. To say that Aisha didn't have any children because she had intercourse before she was able in an awful thing to say. I'd like to see what kind of reaction you get the next time you suggest to a barren woman that she didn't have any children because she was abused as a child.

    And perhaps it was simply God's will? The Prophet didn't actually have that many children anyway even with his other wives.
    Jannah wrote:
    This man is YOUNGER than Muhammad would have been and the girl is OLDER than Aisha would have been. Does maturity count much when you look at the likes of that? The fact is, and Dinobot made this point earlier, that because Muhammad married a child, there is no way of protecting the children in Sharia ruled countries today because the men can justify it by saying if the prophet can do it, why can't he?
    I think that the understanding needs to improve. I believe that God's law is perfect. Unfortunately, human's application of it is not.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    Lets get this straight from the beginning- I am not here with a personal vendetta against muslims, it is just my belief that some areas of Islam are flawed which causes a lot of harm to both believers and non believers alike. I would LIKE to be proven wrong, for the sake of the huge amount of Muslims on this planet who all deserve fair treatment and a religion that doesn't restrict or oppress them.

    You mentioned WW1, WW2 and Stalin, which yes, undoubtedly were great crimes against humanity. But you didn't mention Hitler. I am curious, since in the Qur'an Jews are classed as "swines and apes" does this mean that they were deserving of their punishment? Just a thought.

    Indeed common sense is not as common as one would hope, but surely education from a non-religious perpective would a lot more beneficial to people? I just don't understand why a higher power is needed to be a 'moral' person.

    I by no means wished to imply that you are disrespectful towards women, and if that is what you got from my statement, then I apologise. I just think that women are given a raw deal if they are to be 'true' muslims (which may or may not be true). I just find it incredibly hard to fathom why:
    1. Men are given children following a divorce- surely there should be a fair court procedure in which women can have a chance at taking care of their own children? I have heard of many cases in which women were bribed into staying in an abusive marriage for the sake of keeping their children, which is terribly sad and wrong.
    2. While men can simply say "I divorce you" 3 times, a women must go through a lengthy court proceedure before being granted a divorce. Why?
    3. In strict Islamic countries a woman must have a mahram with her if she wishes to leave the house- this mahram (her father/ husband/ even her SON!) is the person who decides whether she travels, works, receives an education... is this not ownership of a fellow human being?

    You mentioned that women wear hijab because it is Gods will, which is perfectly correct, but what about the women who DON'T want to wear hijab and who are harassed- or in some cases, beaten- by religious police in the name of Islam? Surely a woman should have the right to choose? In these cases, it it not fear of God but fear of how society will see her and the punishment that she will recieve that drives her to cover. Yes, men are told to cover from the naval to the knee, but really, the vast majority of non-muslim men would be covering this much anyway (unless he has a penchant for speedos, in which case, I think thats pretty damn unGodly in any religion!) Yes, it may be argued that women should cover more because their bodies are more visually stimulating to a man (somehow I would disagree, but thats the theory) yet what about the oppressive heat and discomfort? Who cares about the women then?

    You say that "In the end, we have the choice of whether or not to follow them." (the commandments of God) which may be true in democratic societies but in Islamic societies a person doesn't CHOOSE whether or not they can follow Gods commandments. They are bullied into shutting their shops and going to Mosques, they are arrested if they don't wear hijab, they are banned from practicing their own religions (all in Saudi Arabia, hope of the 'purest' form of Islam, but I am positive that they happen elsewhere too)

    Oh, excuse me, it is the lesbians and gays who should be killed. Well thats so much better, then... Yes, while I am aware that Islam isn't the only homophobic religion out there, it really is the harshest in terms of punishments. Why should someone have to renounce their own sexuality in order to spare their life? Surely we were all made by God, and therefore deserve to be treated equally? This is such a contradiction, I don't even know where to begin!!

    From what I've seen of people using Hadiths to condone anything, it seems to be very dodgy ground. If a Hadith is unfavourable it is said to be 'unreliable'- so how do we know if ANY of the hadiths have any truth in them whatsoever? Surely if it could include a few mistakes, then it could include many more that we are incertain of? I myself would be very cautious in relying on such a flawed text

    Yes, they fought over a horse race, which, in itself is ridiculious, but I still don't understand why marrying a woman would help solve any problems? To me it sounds like an easy cop out and completely undermines a woman's right to choose her own partner. Lol, what did they say to their grandkids!?! "Hey, grandmaw, tell me about how you fell in love with Grandpaw?" "Well, it all began with a fight about horses..."

    But I ask- what good is God's law if nobody seems to be able to apply it 'properly'?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    Jannah wrote: »
    I just find it incredibly hard to fathom why:
    1. Men are given children following a divorce- surely there should be a fair court procedure in which women can have a chance at taking care of their own children? I have heard of many cases in which women were bribed into staying in an abusive marriage for the sake of keeping their children, which is terribly sad and wrong.

    It depends very much on the country. For example UK/Ireland the woman is given preference to bring up the children, not the man. Extremely unfair if you ask me. In South Korea (not a Muslim country) the man has the priority over who keeps the children. Religion doesn't come into it.
    2. While men can simply say "I divorce you" 3 times, a women must go through a lengthy court procedure before being granted a divorce. Why?

    Again it is based on the country. Majority of the cases (AFAIR) is that it has to be done in three settings over a period of time. Practice is also banned in certain countries, while others take it in one sitting.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_talaq
    3. In strict Islamic countries a woman must have a mahram with her if she wishes to leave the house

    Yes and that appears to be a flaw of that particular countries laws (imho).
    Surely a woman should have the right to choose?

    Always. A religion forced is not a religion at all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    Hobbes wrote: »
    It depends very much on the country. For example UK/Ireland the woman is given preference to bring up the children, not the man. Extremely unfair if you ask me. In South Korea (not a Muslim country) the man has the priority over who keeps the children. Religion doesn't come into it.
    Actually, under Irish law parents have joint custody unless one parent is unfit or doesn't want to see the child. Women just happen to be the person who ends up bringing up the children- after all, a guy who abandons their kids is a loser, but a woman who abandons her kids is seen as a complete monster. And yes, religion does come into it, because the laws in these coutries are supposedly the word of God.

    And once again, in the case of men's divorce, this is seen as being the word of God and very much a religious issue because these countries aren't secular democracies. It still doesn't rule out the fact that men have a much easier form of divorce from their spouse than women.

    The obligation of having a mahram isn't a flaw of a country, its a flaw of extremist religious views and the failure to seperate religion from law.

    Ahh, my points on Jews and homosexuals were ignored. Hum...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    Jannah wrote: »
    Actually, under Irish law parents have joint custody unless one parent is unfit or doesn't want to see the child.

    Not completely correct. You will find that shared parenting only happens if both parents agree it is not an issue. When it becomes an issue then the preference tends to favour the mother over the father. Exceptions being you can prove the mother is insane or a junkie (as examples).

    That is why you have the likes of "Fathers Rights Party" appearing.
    Women just happen to be the person who ends up bringing up the children-

    As I said it depends on the country and there are many fathers in Ireland/UK who wouldn't share your opinion.
    It still doesn't rule out the fact that men have a much easier form of divorce from their spouse than women.

    Depends on the country tbh. Yemen for example the man only has to say I divorce you once. But in the UK for example they still have to follow UK law.

    Also you fail to point out that when a man divorces a woman he is not entitled to take back any gifts from the woman he may of given. If the woman divorces then he can claim back wedding gifts. In the case of settlement the man is only entitled to half his assets at most. The woman on the other hand does not have to share any of her assets with the husband. Again I am sure this varies from country to country.

    Also as I understand it in Muslim laws a husband divorcing a wife without a valid reason is considered to be a bad Muslim.

    Although I would like to know more about the option of beating your wife as a means to reconciliation. Seems a bit contradictory.
    The obligation of having a mahram isn't a flaw of a country, its a flaw of extremist religious views and the failure to seperate religion from law.

    Normally only because the extremists run the country.
    Ahh, my points on Jews and homosexuals were ignored. Hum...

    Perhaps if you worded in a context that was consistent with the forums charter you would not receive such a negative response. Or if that is not possible there are other forums on boards.ie you can continue that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    Hobbes wrote: »
    Depends on the country tbh. Yemen for example the man only has to say I divorce you once. But in the UK for example they still have to follow UK law.
    That just proves my point- while Islamic law doesn't cater for equality towards women in regards to divorce, secular law does.
    Hobbes wrote: »
    Also you fail to point out that when a man divorces a woman he is not entitled to take back any gifts from the woman he may of given. If the woman divorces then he can claim back wedding gifts. In the case of settlement the man is only entitled to half his assets at most. The woman on the other hand does not have to share any of her assets with the husband. Again I am sure this varies from country to country.
    What good are little rings and trinkets when a woman can't even keep her own children?? To me it seems like a half-hearted settlement on the men's behalf.

    [quote=Hobbes;55926591}Also as I understand it in Muslim laws a husband divorcing a wife without a valid reason is considered to be a bad Muslim. Although I would like to know more about the option of beating your wife as a means to reconciliation. Seems a bit contradictory. Normally only because the extremist run the country[/quote]
    Women can't use the reason that a husband is beating her up as reason for divorce in Saudi Arabia (consult Carmen Bin Ladin's book if you have any qualms about that fact) and if a man chooses to divorce her wife in court, the woman doesn't even have to be present. Her consent is not required and she doesn't have any safeguard against her husband casually depriving her of her home. The Muslim man is not required to give a reason, or register the divorce with any religious or secular institution. A Muslim woman, however, can obtain a divorce only with her husband's consent. (source: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2872/is_4_28/ai_94208061)
    Equality... ha!
    Hobbes wrote: »
    Perhaps if you worded in a context that was consistent with the forums charter you would not receive such a negative response. Or if that is not possible there are other forums on boards.ie you can continue that.
    In fairness, it was a pretty fair question- the Qur'an clearly states that Jews are pigs and apes, and it is a very fair question to ask if, since Islam is opposed to Jews, would they have been opposed to the Holocaust? And as for the homosexual aspect, that aswell was a very valid point- I know we have to be PC and whatnot, but its pretty difficult to ignore obvious facts


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    Jannah wrote: »
    That just proves my point- while Islamic law doesn't cater for equality towards women in regards to divorce, secular law does.

    No it doesn't. I just took 2 countries as an example. The rules change from country to country.
    What good are little rings and trinkets when a woman can't even keep her own children?? To me it seems like a half-hearted settlement on the men's behalf.

    What if the woman owns her own business? In which case the husband gets nothing. How about the husband not being entitled to keep all his assets? I agree it is unfair though when one gender gets preference over who keeps the children.
    Women can't use the reason that a husband is beating her up as reason for divorce in Saudi Arabia

    Actually that is not what I meant at all. Part of the reconciliation process is that you beat your wife. Step 3? Appears to have limitations (like can only do once) but seems to contradict other parts of the process.
    The Muslim man is not required to give a reason,

    That is not entirely true. It may be true of say Yemen, but reading up on it the Man can't just divorce a wife for no reason.
    A Muslim woman, however, can obtain a divorce only with her husband's consent.

    As I understand it from reading various sources that is not completely true either. They do have to go to court. But the wife cannot be forced to stay in a marriage that isn't working. I am not a scholar, but even a casual search on it mentions this.

    Again if your picking a particular country as your baseline ymmv.
    In fairness, it was a pretty fair question

    It is how you word questions here is what is important.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    Hobbes wrote: »
    No it doesn't. I just took 2 countries as an example. The rules change from country to country.
    Yet it is the Muslim countries that favour the rights of the man, no?
    Hobbes wrote: »
    What if the woman owns her own business?
    Ahh, but we are assuming that her Mahram (father/ husband/ brother/ son) has given her PERMISSION to do so first...
    Hobbes wrote: »
    Actually that is not what I meant at all. Part of the reconciliation process is that you beat your wife. Step 3? Appears to have limitations (like can only do once) but seems to contradict other parts of the process.
    Ahhh, you're referring to the whole tell her off first, leave her in bed for the second time and beat her the third time? If a man really did believe that a woman was his equal, he wouldn't admonish her like a child. It is said to have to be nothing bigger than a toothbrush and not on their face, but really that sort of punishment is degrading more than anything else, and its interpretation is obviously going to be exploited by a lot of people to beat their wives badly.

    The fact is, when one chooses a country to compare laws against and picks Saudi Arabia, this is the destination of every muslim once in their lifetime, this is the direction they face when they pray and this is the area in which the stricted form of Islam is in place. In short, it is Islam in action and if it is flawed... well, what does that say about Islam's ability to work?
    Hobbes wrote: »
    It is how you word questions here is what is important.
    Well I have phrased it twice and I'm sure that people get the drift, yet it remains unanswered. The phrase 'turning a blind eye' comes to mind


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 998 ✭✭✭Suff


    First of all the thread should be called a Conversation with an idiot.
    Jannah, if you spoke to one muslim or even 10 this does'nt mean that all of Muslims share the same ridiculous views. otherwise its just a case of stereotyping.
    Jannah wrote: »
    Ahh, but we are assuming that her Mahram (father/ husband/ brother/ son) has given her PERMISSION to do so first...

    Are you serious?...what period of time you're talking about? I have lived over 18 years in what you call "islamic countries" and have never ever witnessed such procedures and regulation of women to travel!:rolleyes:
    its interpretation is obviously going to be exploited by a lot of people to beat their wives badly.

    Absolutely not, If a man beats his wife then he is responsible for such an act regardless of this religion. domestic violence is an issue in all societies all around the world regardless of their ethnic or religious background.
    and the set example is only to demonstrate how silly/belittling/pointless it is to take any violent act with any woman. and if people do exploit the rule they will face their actions when judged.

    by the way do I get from you're posts that only muslim men are wife beaters!?
    The fact is, when one chooses a country to compare laws against and picks Saudi Arabia, this is the destination of every muslim once in their lifetime, this is the direction they face when they pray and this is the area in which the stricted form of Islam is in place.

    You cannot take Saudi and then generalise, it would be very naive of you. Saudi's laws & politics are theirs. Just because the country holds the Holy cities it does'nt mean that everyone should copy them. Real example...Do you find the same rules in other neighbouring Gulf states like Kuwait, UAE, Qatar and Bahrain? what about Syria, Lebanon and Jordan?

    I have said this before, cultural background play a role in the practice of any religion. Can you really say that an American Catholic would form the same practice as a say Syrian Catholic?
    Even Arabic muslims have different customs and cultural backgrounds. The Gulf region (Saudi, Iraq, Kuwait, UAE, Qatar, Bahrain, Oman, Yamen) The Cham region (Syria, Lebanon, Palestine, Jordan). The North Africans (Libya, Morocco, Tunisia, Algeria and Mauritania ) The Egyptians tend to have their own with a close link to Sudan.
    In short, it is Islam in action and if it is flawed... well, what does that say about Islam's ability to work?
    If you really understand the logic of the faith, you'll know that It's been working since the first Prophet Adam (PBUH) all the way until Christ (PBUH)
    Islam has the same message that Moses and Christ have brought us and added few more rules. also it is know as the fast growing faith in the world with major converts in Europe and the states.

    I would advice you to read more on the subject without any prejudice, just so you'll have a clearer view.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    Before I begin my post, please allow me to apologise for writing quick answers. I'm a little pushed for time at the moment.
    Jannah wrote:
    But you didn't mention Hitler. I am curious, since in the Qur'an Jews are classed as "swines and apes" does this mean that they were deserving of their punishment? Just a thought.
    I'll gladly mention Hitler's name in that bunch of badness. You'll notice that I did mention WW2.

    I think you'll find that the Quran describes those Jews who went right up against God's commands in arrogance as swine and apes and not all Jews in general.
    Jannah wrote:
    I just don't understand why a higher power is needed to be a 'moral' person.
    Actually, I've seen situations where someone is very moral even without a religion. It's not completely necessary. Everyone still has a soul. But without religion then it makes it difficult to agree on some laws. And of course there's the main function of religion which is one's relationship with God which is what it's all about in the end.
    Jannah wrote:
    1. Men are given children following a divorce- surely there should be a fair court procedure in which women can have a chance at taking care of their own children? I have heard of many cases in which women were bribed into staying in an abusive marriage for the sake of keeping their children, which is terribly sad and wrong.
    Honestly, I don't know the full deal when it comes to custody and stuff but I'm pretty sure there's nothing in Islamic law that states that a man definitely gets custody every time. I personally know of a case where a couple were divorced and the woman got the child.
    Jannah wrote:
    2. While men can simply say "I divorce you" 3 times, a women must go through a lengthy court proceedure before being granted a divorce. Why?
    As far as I know, this can be discussed during the pre-numptual agreement which is to be treated as any other contract in Islam (a written contract between two parties to be honoured in the eyes of God) so the woman can have the right to just divorce the husband with ease but most Muslim women I know would actually be afraid to have this power. A woman may tend to (but not always as there are always exceptions) to react more on emotion and impulse. Having said that, there are also men who may be the same. Anyway, as I say, it can be decided upon as far as I know.
    Jannah wrote:
    3. In strict Islamic countries a woman must have a mahram with her if she wishes to leave the house- this mahram (her father/ husband/ even her SON!) is the person who decides whether she travels, works, receives an education... is this not ownership of a fellow human being?
    Allow me to take this first opportunity to state the following.

    It's very important to draw a distinction between Islamic law (God's law) and the law of a particular state. Saudi Arabia does not follow Sharia law as it is supposed to and the fact that it has the holy lands on it is not significant in this sense.

    It would be most unfair of me to say that "because there are loads of cases of priests being with young boys in the Vatican, what does this say about the Catholic church?" I know that that's unfair because that's not how you measure any religion.

    It's also worth mentioning that Saudi Arabia wasn't always like this. The overwhelming effect of Wahabism has really begun to cause problems in Saudi Arabia and is unfortunately beginning to spread to some other countries.

    So, what I know is that a woman can and does travel alone as long as she's safe (such as in a very public place).

    A woman must have a mahram (someone who cannot marry her) with her when she's:
    1.: Going to travel in a dodgy area (such as the desert, the jungle)
    2.: Going to meet a male who she can marry

    And possibly some other situations that don't spring to mind at the moment.
    Jannah wrote:
    You mentioned that women wear hijab because it is Gods will, which is perfectly correct, but what about the women who DON'T want to wear hijab and who are harassed- or in some cases, beaten- by religious police in the name of Islam?
    Please refer to the religious law vs state law statement above.
    Jannah wrote:
    Surely a woman should have the right to choose? In these cases, it it not fear of God but fear of how society will see her and the punishment that she will recieve that drives her to cover.
    You speak the truth. This is unfortunately the case and it stinks like rotten meat. I for one am not happy about it. I doubt that the people who organise these "religious police" even realise they are possibly corrupting the intention of these women thereby changing an act of worship to God to an act of obedience to the state.
    Jannah wrote:
    They are bullied into shutting their shops and going to Mosques, they are arrested if they don't wear hijab, they are banned from practicing their own religions (all in Saudi Arabia, hope of the 'purest' form of Islam, but I am positive that they happen elsewhere too)
    See above.
    Jannah wrote:
    Oh, excuse me, it is the lesbians and gays who should be killed.
    To be technical. Lesbians are not to be killed but rather to be kept at home "until God's opens a way for them through repentance" such as being approached for marriage by someone who doesn't know about/forgives their past.

    As for gays, there are differing opinions about how to deal with them. I myself have not researched this area enough to know to be honest with you.
    Jannah wrote:
    Why should someone have to renounce their own sexuality in order to spare their life? Surely we were all made by God, and therefore deserve to be treated equally? This is such a contradiction, I don't even know where to begin!!
    This is much more complicated than that. There's the whole nature vs nurture debate plus the possibility of someone have a hormonal imbalance etc etc.
    Jannah wrote:
    If a Hadith is unfavourable it is said to be 'unreliable'- so how do we know if ANY of the hadiths have any truth in them whatsoever? Surely if it could include a few mistakes, then it could include many more that we are incertain of? I myself would be very cautious in relying on such a flawed text
    While the hadith are not as reliable as the Quran, some of them are said to be "agreed upon" and can usually be taken as fact. Unfortunately, there is a large grey area between those hadiths and hadith classified as "weak". One should do their research before following a hadith that has serious implications. As a general rule, it's okay to follow a hadith that says to do something good straight away without questioning its authenticity but if a hadith is going to have potentially serious implications then it should be thoroughly researched.

    Sometimes, even the scholars disagree on the authenticity of a hadith so I guess in a situation like that, you read what you can and then try and make your mind up and finally your heart.
    Jannah wrote:
    Yes, they fought over a horse race, which, in itself is ridiculious, but I still don't understand why marrying a woman would help solve any problems? To me it sounds like an easy cop out and completely undermines a woman's right to choose her own partner. Lol, what did they say to their grandkids!?! "Hey, grandmaw, tell me about how you fell in love with Grandpaw?" "Well, it all began with a fight about horses..."
    I think you underestimate the craziness of it all. Those were very different times with very different customs. It was just the way it was back then.

    Oh, and by the way, a woman is never forced to marry someone she doesn't want to. That's one of the most important Islamic principles when it comes to marriage. In fact, there was once a case where a woman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and asked that she be divorced from her husband. The Prophet asked her a series of questions asking about whether the man was unkind to her, violent, miserly etc to which she answered that he was a good man on all account and that the only reason for her wanting a divorce was just because she couldn't stand to be with him. The Prophet ordered that the marriage end.
    Hobbes wrote:
    That is why you have the likes of "Fathers Rights Party" appearing.
    I know this is completely OT but isn't that for men who aren't married to the mothers?
    Hobbes wrote:
    Although I would like to know more about the option of beating your wife as a means to reconciliation. Seems a bit contradictory.
    This topic has been covered in great detail in other threads. Here's a good link.
    Jannah wrote:
    What good are little rings and trinkets...
    Not all gifts are trinkets. Thousands of pounds can be a gift.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    the_new_mr wrote: »
    I think you'll find that the Quran describes those Jews who went right up against God's commands in arrogance as swine and apes and not all Jews in general.

    Cheers. Actually I was looking for more info on that as that was the first I heard.
    I know this is completely OT but isn't that for men who aren't married to the mothers?

    Not really sure, I had only heard of them in passing (and occasional batman tying themselves to big ben :)). But they cover a load of things.
    This topic has been covered in great detail in other threads. Here's a good link.

    Just goes to show I don't read everything here. But intresting to learn about "Daraba" meanings.

    I am curious (maybe another thread). But as Quran cannot be changed, maybe people have been changing the Arabic language to get around this?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    Suff wrote: »
    First of all the thread should be called a Conversation with an idiot.
    Methinks you are very correct! I was talking to him again today and asking him some of the questions I asked here and his answers were "I don't talk to homosexuals" and "Jews... well... nobody likes the Jews..." so I think its fair to say that no matter what religion the guy is he is ignorant to begin with. I know this is definitely not the case, as a muslim came to my class in primary school to speak about his religion once and he was very eloquent and just a really nice person, so I suppose I've seen both the extremist and the normal attitudes.
    Suff wrote: »
    Are you serious?...what period of time you're talking about? I have lived over 18 years in what you call "islamic countries" and have never ever witnessed such procedures and regulation of women to travel!
    Yep, I've read about it various times and I also have a friend currently living in Saudi Arabia and he is responsible for his mother and where and when she goes places because his father has died.

    As far as wife beating goes, I would NO WAY say that it is a practice confined to muslims!! Lets just get that clear!! In happens eeeeverywhere. I just think that since the Qur'an is so open to interpretation that that particular section may be misconstrued and used to really harm women. I still don't quite understand why its done. The muslim in school said (one of his few logical moments) that if a muslim breaks their promise, they must fast for 3 days and if, in a fit of anger, a man says to his wife he will beat her, he must fulfill that promise (although lightly) if he is to keep it. That makes sense, I suppose, but I still think there should be allowances on 'promises' made when someone is that emotion to save them the bother of having to embarrass both parties by hitting them with a toothbrush!!

    I was using Saudi as an example because of its obvious importance in Islamic terms. What country should I pick? What muslim country has used Sharia in the correct way?

    As far as Christ having used the same logic in his time, I think Sharia law could really benefit from the parable about Jesus saying to the people that if they are without sin, may they throw the first stone at the adulterous woman. Personally, I'm not into the whole Catholic side of things at all, but as one of the prophets, it would be wise if this idea could be brought in to countries that carry out this horrible form of punishment.

    You mentioned Islam being the fasted growing religion in the world, but I really don't know where this comes in in terms of it being a great religion. Not saying that its bad, just that its fast spread isn't a sign of goodness either.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    I think you'll find that the Quran describes those Jews who went right up against God's commands in arrogance as swine and apes and not all Jews in general.
    Ahh, is it only the Jews of his time that he means so? But what about the part where it says "There is no compulsion in religion"? Surely the Jews don't have in their Torah that the Muslims are apes and pigs?!
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    A woman must have a mahram (someone who cannot marry her) with her when she's:
    1.: Going to travel in a dodgy area (such as the desert, the jungle)
    2.: Going to meet a male who she can marry
    Are you sure its only to the dodgy areas? I've read lots of accounts where a woman needs a mahram when going to the shop and pretty frivilous places like that (but then again, these books are based in Saudi). Is the situation in Afghanistan just completely Islam totally misconstrued and gone bananas so?! Because women aren't even allowed on public transport without a man with her there (which pretty much leaves them very much stuck where they are! My biggest fear would be that these women are being almost held captive- not exactly ideal for anyone!!
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    To be technical. Lesbians are not to be killed but rather to be kept at home "until God's opens a way for them through repentance" such as being approached for marriage by someone who doesn't know about/forgives their past.

    This is much more complicated than that. There's the whole nature vs nurture plus the possibility of someone having a hormonal imbalance etc etc

    Ahhh now! WHY on earth would someone go through the terrible emotional ordeal of coming out of the closet to their family members if they wouldn't mind repenting it later??! Now, I know that Islam isn't the only religion that is anti-gay, which is pretty much the reason that I'm not endorsing any religion here, but... it just doesn't make sense!! My cousin is gay, and it certainly isn't a hormonal imbalance or a 'phase' or any of the other silly suggestions people make to try and explain it. Thats simply how he was made, and a person can't change- and more importantly, shouldn't change who they are or apologise for what is natural to them for the sake of religion. Surely, if God has made us all, and some people turn out gay, isn't it part of his 'divine plan' that they should be like that?

    You're very much correct when it comes to Islam not endorsing forced marriages and I've heard of many instances where it has spoken against them. They seem to be more of a Hindu practice than anything else, although there will always been some madman who will do it in any other religion anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    Hobbes wrote:
    Not really sure, I had only heard of them in passing (and occasional batman tying themselves to big ben :)). But they cover a load of things.
    Yeah, I think those guys are about getting rights for fathers of children who aren't married to the mothers (as in children had out of wedlock).
    Hobbes wrote:
    I am curious (maybe another thread). But as Quran cannot be changed, maybe people have been changing the Arabic language to get around this?
    Maybe another thread is right :)

    I have a few ideas about that which I think are all true. One is that some people have been abusing and misinterpreting the Quran on purpose to suit their needs. Terrorists are famous for doing stuff like this.

    Another is that the meaning of the Quran is still being understood. Actually, it's a well known fact that the true 100% meaning of the Quran has still not been understood. Some of the Surahs open with letters such as Alif-Lam-Meem. The reason for the presence there is still not understood by anyone in the world.

    I've talked before about how one understanding of a word in the Quran had been misunderstood for literally hundreds of years before it was properly understood. Perhaps it's not even correctly understood even now. Here's that post.

    Another theory of mine (and this might not necessarily be correct) is that perhaps God wants a different meaning to be understood at different times because different interpretations may have been needed at different points in human history. It's a possibility. I'm not saying that's the way it is for sure.
    Jannah wrote:
    Yep, I've read about it various times and I also have a friend currently living in Saudi Arabia and he is responsible for his mother and where and when she goes places because his father has died.
    Once again, Saudi is right off.
    Jannah wrote:
    The muslim in school said (one of his few logical moments) that if a muslim breaks their promise, they must fast for 3 days and if, in a fit of anger, a man says to his wife he will beat her, he must fulfill that promise (although lightly) if he is to keep it. That makes sense, I suppose, but I still think there should be allowances on 'promises' made when someone is that emotion to save them the bother of having to embarrass both parties by hitting them with a toothbrush!!
    I don't agree with that. If you have to break your promise then you have to break your promise. He doesn't have to do it. There's nothing wrong with fasting. Besides you're only supposed to fast as a last resort.

    Al-Maaida:89
    "Allah will not hold you accountable for that which is unintentional in your oaths, but He will hold you accountable for your deliberate oaths. The expiation of such oath is feeding of ten poor persons on a scale of the average for the food of your families; or clothe them; or give a slave his freedom. If it is beyond your means, fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths you have sworn. Guard your oaths. Thus Allah does make clear to you His signs, that you may be grateful."
    Jannah wrote:
    Ahh, is it only the Jews of his time that he means so? But what about the part where it says "There is no compulsion in religion"? Surely the Jews don't have in their Torah that the Muslims are apes and pigs?!
    Well, first of all, "no compulsion in religion" means you can't force someone to be a Muslim if they don't want to be.

    And I'm sure that there's no mention of Muslims in the sense we know now in the Torah since the Quran came after the Torah and the Gospel even though all the previous Prophets such as Adam, Abraham, Noah etc (peace be upon them all) are considered Muslims as far as the Quran is concerned and even Jews before Jesus (peace be upon him) would have been following God's religion at the time. But, there are good and bad Jews, good and bad Christians and good and bad Muslims and the Quran talks about bad Jews when naming them apes and swine.
    Jannah wrote:
    Are you sure its only to the dodgy areas? I've read lots of accounts where a woman needs a mahram when going to the shop and pretty frivilous places like that (but then again, these books are based in Saudi). Is the situation in Afghanistan just completely Islam totally misconstrued and gone bananas so?! Because women aren't even allowed on public transport without a man with her there (which pretty much leaves them very much stuck where they are! My biggest fear would be that these women are being almost held captive- not exactly ideal for anyone!!
    Yes and yes. Both those countries have it completely crazy.
    Jannah wrote:
    I was using Saudi as an example because of its obvious importance in Islamic terms. What country should I pick? What muslim country has used Sharia in the correct way?
    The sad truth is that there isn't one country today performing Sharia correctly. Malaysia is probably one of the closest. Saudi Arabia have it right on some things but usually not with anything to do with women.
    Jannah wrote:
    Ahhh now! WHY on earth would someone go through the terrible emotional ordeal of coming out of the closet to their family members if they wouldn't mind repenting it later??! Now, I know that Islam isn't the only religion that is anti-gay, which is pretty much the reason that I'm not endorsing any religion here, but... it just doesn't make sense!! My cousin is gay, and it certainly isn't a hormonal imbalance or a 'phase' or any of the other silly suggestions people make to try and explain it. Thats simply how he was made, and a person can't change- and more importantly, shouldn't change who they are or apologise for what is natural to them for the sake of religion. Surely, if God has made us all, and some people turn out gay, isn't it part of his 'divine plan' that they should be like that?
    I've mentioned this before on here and I know it hasn't necessarily been very popular but it's at least a possibility and that's that it could be their test from God. I believe that everyone gets tested in something in particular and a desire for someone of the same sex could be one of those tests that some people get.

    I've often heard of people who are completely straight say that they have been tempted (or were in fact tempted) to engage in some same sex activities and described that it came out of some kind of curiosity or perversion. It's possible that homosexuality is a more intense form of these kind of feelings.

    Honestly though, I've been interested to find out more about this so that I can try and understand where it comes from a bit better. I don't presume to solve any mystery or come up with any conclusions that other people haven't been able to come up with but I'd definitely like to find out more so that I can know for my own self. Perhaps I'll chat to some gay and lesbian people or something. I don't know.

    Anyway, one thing I do know and that's God considers homosexual acts wrong.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭Ekancone


    Yes, unlike Catholicism *rolls eyes*

    Meh, all religions are right about one thing, and that is that all the others are completely wrong.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    the_new_mr wrote: »
    Well, first of all, "no compulsion in religion" means you can't force someone to be a Muslim if they don't want to be.
    Yet in the Quran they still referr to non-muslims as being:
    Covered in shame
    Cursed
    deaf, dumb and blind
    not allowed into paradise
    humiliated
    in delusion
    have lost their souls
    will never triumph
    and (this is probably Islam at its most ridiculious) 'The worst of creatures':
    al-Bayylinah 6. "Verily those who disbelieve from among the people of the book and the polytheists shall in in the fire of Hell, to abide therein forever. It is they who are the worse of creatures"
    So while there is freedom of religion, it doesn't stop them from saying that we're all destined for Hell if we don't believe in Islam- hum!!
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    But, there are good and bad Jews, good and bad Christians and good and bad Muslims and the Quran talks about bad Jews when naming them apes and swine.
    Their 'sin' being the oh so terrible deed of staying true to their own religion- they wouldn't convert to Islam so they are dismissed as being apes and swine- well, that pretty much trashes the whole freedom of religion idea, doesn't it?
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    The sad truth is that there isn't one country today performing Sharia correctly. Malaysia is probably one of the closest. Saudi Arabia have it right on some things but usually not with anything to do with women.
    Doesn't it appear odd to you that, with the amount of countries practicing Sharia and for the length of time they have been practicing it, nobody seems to have 'gotten it right'? Perhaps they have got it right- maybe what we see isn't a disaster but in fact Sharia in action. What good are laws when they can't even be practiced properly by people who have no doubt memorised the Quran and studied it for decades?
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    I've mentioned this before on here and I know it hasn't necessarily been very popular but it's at least a possibility and that's that it could be their test from God. I believe that everyone gets tested in something in particular and a desire for someone of the same sex could be one of those tests that some people get.

    I've often heard of people who are completely straight say that they have been tempted (or were in fact tempted) to engage in some same sex activities and described that it came out of some kind of curiosity or perversion. It's possible that homosexuality is a more intense form of these kind of feelings.

    Holy crap... Well, where does one begin with something like this? All I can say is- a person is born with their sexuality. It is not a trick of the mind, a weakness or a 'test'- it is WHO THEY ARE. It is not "perversion", it is how they express their love and to be quite honest with you, if "God" created everyone, then why exactly would he have chosen to make them gay if it displeases him so much? Surely he wouldn't despise his own creation? Its a disgusting and completely discriminatory aspect of many religions and whatever one may say, this is NOT the word of God, but the theories of very ignorant people.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    the_new_mr wrote: »
    Yeah, I think those guys are about getting rights for fathers of children who aren't married to the mothers (as in children had out of wedlock).

    I think it would cater for married men who've been seperated/divorced too.

    Jannah not that many countries actually enforce Sharia law. AFAIK there's Saudi, Nigeria(think only applies to Muslims), Malaysia)only applies to Muslims), Indonesia?(not sure on that one), Pakistan(thoguh I think non-Muslims exempt) Afghanistan under Taliban.

    There could be more. I don't think any of the North African countries enforce it. I know Jordan doesn't either.

    As TNM pointed out in Malysia it works pretty well, look at the other countries & see they've all huge problems other than Sharia law


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    Jannah wrote:
    the_new_mr wrote:
    Well, first of all, "no compulsion in religion" means you can't force someone to be a Muslim if they don't want to be.
    Yet in the Quran they still referr to non-muslims as being...
    It's important to make a distinction between the idea of no compulsion in religion and kuffar (or those who knowingly reject the truth when they see it). I think you'll find that basically every religion on earth would tend to view unbelievers in a somewhat negative light and I think you'll find that Islam looks at unbelievers in a better way than most (if not all) religions.

    And I'd like to elaborate a little bit on the knowingly business. It's my own personal belief (and I hope not be held responsible in front of God for this belief as I'm nobody really) that since someone can only be punished for their true intentions, perhaps if someone is 100% sincere in following another faith then they'll be okay on the day of judgement. Especially seeing as there is so much bad rap for Islam these days that people cannot help but be influenced by it.

    At the same time, maybe they didn't pursue any questions they had in their heart. They may have woke up one day and asked themselves "I wonder if I'm really in the right religion" and not pursued it any further out of convenience or laziness. Or because they don't want to pursue it any further because they're afraid that if they find Islam to be the truth, they won't be able to live the life they want to (drinking and the like). I've literally heard about people doing that.

    Or perhaps I'm making too little of the idea of associating partners with God (the greatest sin in the eyes of God in the Quran). It could be that because it's the instinct of the soul to follow only One God then anyone who does otherwise is committing a crime against God which they should not regardless of their religion.

    In the end, it's God Who will judge and it's best to leave it to Him.
    Jannah wrote:
    and (this is probably Islam at its most ridiculious)
    You're free to your opinion of course but remember that you must keep within this forum's charter and show respect for all religions including Islam. As one of the moderators of this forum, I'm forced to issue a warning.
    Jannah wrote:
    Their 'sin' being the oh so terrible deed of staying true to their own religion- they wouldn't convert to Islam so they are dismissed as being apes and swine- well, that pretty much trashes the whole freedom of religion idea, doesn't it?
    First of all, I think you'll find that you if read the verses in question, you'll find that the Jews described as being apes and swine are bad Jews and are actually contrasted with good Jews in the Quran. I would ask you to do some background reading before trashing Islam so readily and bringing it into disrepute. Ignorance is bad enough but trashing Islam in ignorance is worse.

    Some of the verses in question (for those interested):
    Al-'Araf:162-166
    "But those among them who were bent on wrongdoing substituted another saying for that which they had been given: and so We let loose against them a plague from heaven in requital of all their evil doings.; And ask them about that town which stood by the sea: how its people would profane the Sabbath whenever their fish came to them, breaking the water's surface, on a day on which they ought to have kept Sabbath -because they would not come to them on other than Sabbath-days! Thus did We try them by means of their [own] iniquitous doings.; And whenever some people among them asked [those who tried to restrain the Sabbath-breakers], "Why do you preach to people whom God is about to destroy or [at least] to chastise with suffering severe?" -the pious ones would answer, "In order to be free from blame before your Sustainer, and that these [transgressors, too,] might become conscious of Him."; And thereupon, when those [sinners] had forgotten all that they had been told to take to heart, We saved those who had tried to prevent the doing of evil, and overwhelmed those who had been bent on evildoing with dreadful suffering for all their iniquity; and then, when they disdainfully persisted in doing what they had been forbidden to do, We said unto them: "Be as apes despicable!"

    Second of all, just for the record, freedom of religion means being allowed to follow the faith you want to.
    Jannah wrote:
    Doesn't it appear odd to you that, with the amount of countries practicing Sharia and for the length of time they have been practicing it, nobody seems to have 'gotten it right'? Perhaps they have got it right- maybe what we see isn't a disaster but in fact Sharia in action. What good are laws when they can't even be practiced properly by people who have no doubt memorised the Quran and studied it for decades?
    It was right for a good while. During the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and then, to a lesser extent, during other times in Islamic history. I remember someone once putting forward the idea that we're in a kind of Islamic dark age. I rejected that idea at first but the more I think of it, the more it seems to make sense. Knowledge has been lost. As I said, Malaysia have it down pretty well and Saudi Arabia have some parts of it okay.
    Jannah wrote:
    Holy crap... Well, where does one begin with something like this? All I can say is- a person is born with their sexuality. It is not a trick of the mind, a weakness or a 'test'- it is WHO THEY ARE. It is not "perversion", it is how they express their love
    I said that idea isn't very popular :)

    Honestly though, you don't know what it is exactly that makes someone a homosexual. I think it's safe to say that it's something neither you nor I can say we understand very well which is why I intend to research it a bit whenever I get the chance. I'm not saying that they are necessarily bad people, just that they're doing a bad thing.
    Jannah wrote:
    and to be quite honest with you, if "God" created everyone, then why exactly would he have chosen to make them gay if it displeases him so much?
    As a test? It's only a theory. Also, it's not the being gay as it is the "doing" gay.

    Anyway, as I say, it's something that I'd like to try and understand more if possible.

    //Edit
    I decided there's no time like the present after happening across this article when producing the link for the article above. It's step 1 to becoming more educated on the matter anyway but it seems very informative. No doubt, loads of people will call it biased due to its source but I think the writer has some interesting references.

    An interesting read anyway.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    the_new_mr wrote: »
    It's important to make a distinction between the idea of no compulsion in religion and kuffar (or those who knowingly reject the truth when they see it).
    Ahhhh! Now I get it! I always wondered why exactly they said people were free to choose in one section and then totally slated them in the next! So if a person has never heard about Islam and dies, they are okay but if a person finds out about Islam and STILL rejects it, thats bad? I actually would agree with you on what you said about if one is sincere in their chosen faith, they will still be rewarded- that belief is a major part in Sikhism and one which I think everyone should adopt.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    Or because they don't want to pursue it any further because they're afraid that if they find Islam to be the truth, they won't be able to live the life they want to (drinking and the like). I've literally heard about people doing that.
    I really do think thats a huge part in it- I know myself, even if I am fully convinced by Islam, it would be really difficult to tell my parents (who have already told me their views on it, and needless to say they're very... very... non-PC... :S Thats all I'll say about that) particularly about hijab, theres something about hijab that drives my mom mad and although I think I might actually like to be a muslim if I can sort out some parts of it in my head (not to mind after reading up on it a lot more) I really worry what they would say- I'd even go as far to say as they would find it less traumatising if I said I wanted to get a tattoo on my face!! Its just that the messages being sent out in the media are so bad and older people tend to be slower to change their ways... ah well.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    In the end, it's God Who will judge and it's best to leave it to Him.
    I think thats the main point that showed me that the guy I talked to wasn't practicing Islam properly- by him saying that Benazir Bhutto and countless other people weren't 'good' muslims was pretty much just him assuming a role that was never his place to judge.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    First of all, I think you'll find that you if read the verses in question, you'll find that the Jews described as being apes and swine are bad Jews and are actually contrasted with good Jews in the Quran.
    Ahh! I was never told that some Jews were praised! Anyone I had asked about the Jew situation said that Jews, because they didn't accept Islam and kept their own faith, were apes and pigs because of that. In fact, there was a youtube video that pretty much showed a child saying how Jews were apes and pigs and gave off entirely the wrong impression. Apologies, I should have read the entire thing.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    I remember someone once putting forward the idea that we're in a kind of Islamic dark age. I rejected that idea at first but the more I think of it, the more it seems to make sense. Knowledge has been lost.
    I think that person might have been on to something. In Benazir Bhutto's book (lol, I know I keept talking about this flipping book, but its a really brilliant book!!) she talks about how the Quran was always meant to be interpreted in a way that suited the time period it was in and that is why some parts may seem slightly ambigious. Now that extremism has completely gone haywire, people are clinging to outdated interpretations and some are even completely misinterpreting parts for their own political agendas. In the end, it isn't a war between the West and Islam, its a war between modernity and fanaticism.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    I think it's safe to say that it's something neither you nor I can say we understand very well
    Also, it's not the being gay as it is the "doing" gay.
    True, I don't think I'll ever know what 'makes' someone gay- although I was watching a programme with Dr Zakir Naik (who's brilliant btw!) and he was talking about homosexuality in Islam for a short while and how he explained it is that biologically it isn't put in someone's genes that they will be gay (which pretty much sorts out my idea on it!) and that God wouldn't punish someone for a fault that he biologically put in place and because it isn't in one's genes to be gay, it is the same as how it isn't put in our genes to steal or murder which is why it is seen as a sin... needless to say, he said it a lot more clearly! But thats the general gist of it!
    Lol. "Doing gay"... you can say buggering if you want! :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    Jannah wrote:
    So if a person has never heard about Islam and dies, they are okay but if a person finds out about Islam and STILL rejects it, thats bad?
    I guess you could say that if a person has never heard about Islam and dies then they'll be judged purely on their own deeds but if a person finds out about then they kind of have a responsibility on themselves to wonder about it along with the value of their deeds. As I say though, there's so much negative rap about Islam these days that by the time someone might know enough to have a serious think about it, they've already got all this crap in their head put there by the media.

    I guess you could say that as long we are all going to be judged by God (who calls Himself The Most Just in the Quran) then we've nothing to worry about as long as we have been 100% honest with ourselves.

    One thing which Islam is very clear about is that, unlike most other religions, simply being Muslim doesn't guarantee you entry into heaven. There's no carte blanche :) Good deeds should be performed and bad deeds avoided.
    Jannah wrote:
    I really do think thats a huge part in it- I know myself, even if I am fully convinced by Islam, it would be really difficult to tell my parents (who have already told me their views on it, and needless to say they're very... very... non-PC... :S Thats all I'll say about that) particularly about hijab, theres something about hijab that drives my mom mad and although I think I might actually like to be a muslim if I can sort out some parts of it in my head (not to mind after reading up on it a lot more) I really worry what they would say- I'd even go as far to say as they would find it less traumatising if I said I wanted to get a tattoo on my face!! Its just that the messages being sent out in the media are so bad and older people tend to be slower to change their ways... ah well.
    Yeah, it's sad but that's the situation. Islam has such a bad reputation these days that people only tend to think negative things when they hear "Islam" or "Muslim". It's only people who are relatively close to a Muslim that can know different and even then, they might think that any good Muslims they know are some kind of exception :)

    A close friend of mine who became Muslim from having been Catholic before (but before I met him) told me about how he was so afraid about what people would think and how his parents would react. He said that it actually turned out better than he thought. His parents apparently weren't that surprised because he had been talking about Islam and some Muslim friends of his so positively for so long that they were kind of expecting it to happen :)

    Some people tend to get bad backlash but I think it's mainly down to ignorance and if they can see that the person who has become Muslim is genuinely happier with themselves then they usually become happy with it as well.
    Jannah wrote:
    I think thats the main point that showed me that the guy I talked to wasn't practicing Islam properly- by him saying that Benazir Bhutto and countless other people weren't 'good' muslims was pretty much just him assuming a role that was never his place to judge.
    It's something everyone should be very careful about. You can say that "such-and-such" an action is not Islamic if you can bring solid proof from the Quran and/or authentic hadith and say that some people shouldn't do it but to go as far as saying that someone is "not a good Muslim" is a very very big thing to say. None of us are perfect after all.
    Jannah wrote:
    Anyone I had asked about the Jew situation said that Jews, because they didn't accept Islam and kept their own faith, were apes and pigs because of that.
    I guess you could say that maybe the Jews that kept to their own faith out of stubbornness even though they knew that Islam was the right choice could be placed in that category but it always comes back to intentions. A lot of people don't know that Jews are praised in the Quran. Of course, there was a time when Jews (according to the Islamic belief) were following God's religion as He wanted it to be.
    Jannah wrote:
    Apologies, I should have read the entire thing.
    Apology accepted.

    What a lot of people don't know is that the "no compulsion in religion" verse was revealed to defend Jewish youth.

    In the time of ignorance in Arabia before Islam was revealed, the idolaters who had lost a lot of sons as babies used to make a promise to God that if they had a son and he stayed alive, they would make them Jews (which makes you wonder what they thought of their own idolatry behaviour). Anyway, later on when Islam was revealed to the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him), these idolaters later became Muslims and then started to try and force their Jewish children to become Muslims themselves. This verse was revealed to prevent this kind of behaviour. What's the point of becoming Muslim anyway if you don't want to be yourself?
    Jannah wrote:
    I think that person might have been on to something. In Benazir Bhutto's book (lol, I know I keept talking about this flipping book, but its a really brilliant book!!) she talks about how the Quran was always meant to be interpreted in a way that suited the time period it was in and that is why some parts may seem slightly ambigious.
    I'd tend to agree with that to a certain extent but I'm not sure to what extent she believed that. You have to be very careful with that sort of thing or you get into the "anything goes" zone.

    I don't like labelling myself as one of those "modern Muslims". I believe that Islam should be understood as it should be. What that is requires education and, most importantly of all, a sincere heart. But I don't like the method that some people use to justify what they want to justify for their own sake and try to twist the verses of the Quran to suit them. Just like some terrorists do it to justify terrorism, you find some people trying to justify homosexuality or drinking by twisting verses.

    I like Dr. Zakir Naik actually. I haven't heard that many of his lectures but I liked the ones I did hear. He knows his stuff that's for sure :)

    I think that the article I linked to had some interesting points. I think that there is still the possibility that it could be in someone's genes that they might have a tendency to be gay but that doesn't mean that they have to be gay. A couple of homosexuals who are experts on the subject even said that being gay is a combination of things including possible biological traits and child-parent relationships along with life experiences. Something which I was quite shocked about was that according to one study conducted, something like 48% of gay people surveyed were sexually abused as a child. It's a big complicated topic but there's always the element of choice. I certainly don't believe that someone has to be gay anyway and I'm certainly not of the opinion that they're born that way.
    Jannah wrote:
    Lol. "Doing gay"... you can say buggering if you want! :)
    I thought I'd try and be as PC as possible :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    the_new_mr wrote: »
    As I say though, there's so much negative rap about Islam these days that by the time someone might know enough to have a serious think about it, they've already got all this crap in their head put there by the media.
    Very true- one need only look to YouTube to see the complete slander thats out there. Its difficult to find sources that aren't somewhat biased these days! I think the way religion is taught in school has a lot to do with it too- my religion teacher only told us parts of Islam like "Muhammad was a pig farmer", women wear hijab after their first blood (who says that?!) and how they stone women, cut off limbs etc and it was treated like a complete joke. When I actually talked to her after class she really didn't know anything about the actual history behind it or the beliefs. The annoying thing is that there's a generation of pupils from my year now carrying a completely skewed version of Islam in there heads- one guy even remarked as he passed a girl wearing a hijab (the only one in our school of 600- which I think it pretty admirable) "At least we know she's got her first blood, huh?!"
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    A close friend of mine who became Muslim from having been Catholic before (but before I met him) told me about how he was so afraid about what people would think and how his parents would react. He said that it actually turned out better than he thought. His parents apparently weren't that surprised because he had been talking about Islam and some Muslim friends of his so positively for so long that they were kind of expecting it to happen :)
    Whoah! Those are some seriously cool parents!! Although, I think its a little easier for male coverts as they don't have to change their physical appearance, but with women the hijab is a pretty huge deal. I've mentioned Islam in passing to my own mom and she went crazy and said that I was disrespecting my grandmother (no idea where the logic is there, she is dead but she was pretty into her religion I suppose) and a whole lot of other crazy things. I pointed out on her dashboard the virgin Mary wearing a headscarf and mentioned that in the Bible it says that if a woman doesn't cover her head she should shave off her hair, but she just dismissed it as being "old fashioned." But I saw the sadest report of a convert who's relatives actually spiked her drink just because she coverted to Islam and couldn't drink alcohol. Bad form.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    I like Dr. Zakir Naik actually. I haven't heard that many of his lectures but I liked the ones I did hear. He knows his stuff that's for sure :)
    Isn't it insanely cool?!!? I find it amazing that he can just rhyme off all the quotations like that, not just from the Quran but from other books too! But he's still very modest, I saw a lecture where a person started a question with "Since you're an expert on Islam, I was wondering-" and he corrected them by saying that he wasn't an expert but just a student of Islam- I thought that was pretty great


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    Jannah wrote:
    I think the way religion is taught in school has a lot to do with it too- my religion teacher only told us parts of Islam like "Muhammad was a pig farmer", women wear hijab after their first blood (who says that?!) and how they stone women, cut off limbs etc and it was treated like a complete joke
    Yeah, I totally agree with you. It's difficult to find a school that does even a half-good job of teaching Islam. I'm not asking for an entire term's study of Islam. Just a lesson in summary would be fine.

    I think a lot of it comes from the fact that the people who write the religion books are so afraid of the potential influence that Islam might have on the people that they purposefully misinform students and others and make it look like the weird religion from Arabia that they want it to. Much in the same way that Muslims used to be called Saracens or (even worse) Mohammedens trying to imply that Muslims worship Mohamed (God Be above that) in the past.

    I was amazed at how many people really know nothing about Islam. About 8 years ago, I was told by a well educated Irish woman that she thought that we worshipped Mohamed (God be above that). I had to explain that we believe that Mohamed (peace be upon him) is a messenger of God along with Jesus, Moses and the rest (peace be upon them all) and she was surprised to hear all this and this was a woman in her forties who had received a third level education.

    Even more recently, a friend of mine asked me the honest question of "What's the difference between a Muslim and an Islamic?" He honestly didn't know what you call a follower of Islam. Islamic seemed to make sense :) Someone else even said "You worship the sun, right?" :D

    But you know who's really responsible for this rotten ignorance? Muslims. It's our fault. How can so many people be so ignorant of Islam when we are now all over the world. It's a disgrace really and I'm ashamed of it. The media certainly doesn't help but if we even did half of what we should then at least people would have an educated opinion.
    Jannah wrote:
    Whoah! Those are some seriously cool parents!! Although, I think its a little easier for male coverts as they don't have to change their physical appearance, but with women the hijab is a pretty huge deal.
    Yeah, I hear they are pretty cool. I still haven't met them till now but friends who have tell me they're dead on. I understand that the mother still prays for him to return to Catholicism every day but I think he has his mind made up.

    It's definitely harder for women though. Especially because people think that women are considered as second class citizens in Islam or something and that she's "hiding her femininity behind the veil" and all that. I can see how they might think that but I think it's just down to innocent ignorance really.
    Jannah wrote:
    I pointed out on her dashboard the virgin Mary wearing a headscarf and mentioned that in the Bible it says that if a woman doesn't cover her head she should shave off her hair, but she just dismissed it as being "old fashioned."
    You're a brave one, aren't you? :) You make a good point actually and it's actually a point often brought up by many presenters of Islam. Hope you're not being too disrespectful to your mother though. They may get our nerves sometimes but it's important for people to respect their parents at all times whether you're Muslim or not.

    The Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him) when asked by a man "Who is the most deserving of my respect?" replied "Your mother". Then the man asked "And then?" to which the Prophet replied "Your mother" and then the man asked "And then who?" to which the Prophet replied "Your mother". Then the man asked again "And after that?" to which the Prophet replied "Your father".

    Hope I don't sound like I'm preaching but it's just that I see many people disrespecting their parents these days. I'm not saying you do or anything. Just putting it out there :)
    Jannah wrote:
    But I saw the sadest report of a convert who's relatives actually spiked her drink just because she coverted to Islam and couldn't drink alcohol. Bad form.
    Sick.
    Jannah wrote:
    Isn't it insanely cool?!!? I find it amazing that he can just rhyme off all the quotations like that, not just from the Quran but from other books too! But he's still very modest, I saw a lecture where a person started a question with "Since you're an expert on Islam, I was wondering-" and he corrected them by saying that he wasn't an expert but just a student of Islam- I thought that was pretty great
    He's some man for one man :) May God increase his knowledge and grant him even more humility and a place high in paradise.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 263 ✭✭Jannah


    the_new_mr wrote: »
    Even more recently, a friend of mine asked me the honest question of "What's the difference between a Muslim and an Islamic?" He honestly didn't know what you call a follower of Islam. Islamic seemed to make sense :) Someone else even said "You worship the sun, right?" :D
    Lol!!! That reminds me of a geography test I had a few weeks ago, we were writing about religions in India and we'd been given the headings Hindu, Muslim, and Buddhist and all I hear beside me is a girl hissing "What religion is Muslim?? Is that in our notes???" a LOT of people get confused by the whole Muslim/Islam thing!!
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    But you know who's really responsible for this rotten ignorance? Muslims. It's our fault. How can so many people be so ignorant of Islam when we are now all over the world. It's a disgrace really and I'm ashamed of it. The media certainly doesn't help but if we even did half of what we should then at least people would have an educated opinion.
    Ah now, don't be harsh on yourself- Muslims are actually the most open people I've ever met to discussing their religion. A Muslim in my year gave me the names of sites and books and everything and he's always open to questions and discussions. In my opinion, most people who are not open to talking about their religion with others usually have some doubts about it themsevles.
    the_new_mr wrote: »
    I understand that the mother still prays for him to return to Catholicism every day but I think he has his mind made up.
    Aw. Thats so sad. It reminds me exactly of something my mom would do. I really wouldn't say I'm disrespectful to my mom in the slightest, she's one of my best friends. As Muhammad himself said:
    “Heaven liveth at the feet of mothers”

    I'll never forget the day that I saw a fellow in my class disrespecting a muslim's mother- popped him one right in the balls! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 842 ✭✭✭the_new_mr


    Jannah wrote:
    Ah now, don't be harsh on yourself- Muslims are actually the most open people I've ever met to discussing their religion. A Muslim in my year gave me the names of sites and books and everything and he's always open to questions and discussions.
    Yeah but it needs to be more organised. Having the odd Muslim here and there ready to give the name of sites and books is all well and good but the fact that so many people just don't have a clue reflects very badly on the Muslim community.
    Jannah wrote:
    I really wouldn't say I'm disrespectful to my mom in the slightest, she's one of my best friends. As Muhammad himself said:
    “Heaven liveth at the feet of mothers”
    Glad to hear it. Just for the record, it's heaven lies at the feet of mothers.
    Jannah wrote:
    I'll never forget the day that I saw a fellow in my class disrespecting a muslim's mother- popped him one right in the balls! :D
    Glad to hear that you're standing up for people and defending them... although I'm not sure about your techniques :eek:


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