50 Dollar POker Poem competition!!!!!!

califano

Doc Farrell wrote: »

(and you, rounders, i'm gonna hunt u down....:mad:)

what the hell, didnt you pick up on my thinly veiled shill bump!

Doc Farrell

of course man, i was ust kidding, setting u up for another Scorsese picture romp! no offence taken at all, in fact, i actually do have his hair!

YULETIRED

El Stuntman wrote: »

in honour of the OP, I have taken the liberty of FYP

Enough of your monkey business.....

A guy at the 300 event reraised me (or 3 bet me if yer a chimp) and I asked him if he had a big pair....He told me I will have to pay
to find out, I folded and threw him over 50 cents...then he turned over AA and said, how dya like them Bananas, I laughed a lot.........previous night in the SE NL cash game, some crazy Indian player kept raising the pot with rubbish saying, 300 bananas etc whilst raising. into a 100 pot...he paid off very well, felt a bit guilty though as his play was being applauded by all to make him reload...didn't rest too well with me tbh. as it was like stealing.....he hit bigtime though agianst some of the regulars.....for some reason I enjoyed this.

I think this chimping is catching on though.


When I go bust from a tourny now the tune., 'YES we have no bananas' fills me brains......


sht none of this rhymes...

YULETIRED

YULETIRED wrote: »

sht none of this rhymes

Free form ftw. :D:D

William Money

forthe lad who won the dream package
was the centre of such moral attackage
the indignant moralisers typed and bleated
one lone gunman aimed and bam! unseated
the moral high ground the immaculate brave had rapidly taken
i prefer the foothills where we can be naive and mistaken.

for the gamblor who is getting worser
did he get better or is he still cursed.

TPTK and CRAI by a RETARD
FYP hope he sucked out that river card.

for new posters who need help with their strategy
but fear sarcasm and ridicule by analogy
a newbie safe zone has just been set up
where theory and hands can be discussed
this place makes good sense to me
its what this poisonous ****ing boards ought to be

William Money

William Money wrote: »

forthe lad who won the dream package
was the centre of such moral attackage
the indignant moralisers typed and bleated
one lone gunman aimed and bam! unseated
the moral high ground the immaculate brave had rapidly taken
i prefer the foothills where we can be naive and mistaken.

for the gamblor who is getting worser
did he get better or is he still cursed.

TPTK and CRAI by a RETARD
FYP hope he sucked out that river card.

for new posters who need help with their strategy
but fear sarcasm and ridicule by analogy
a newbie safe zone has just been set up
where theory and hands can be discussed
this place makes good sense to me
its what this poisonous ****ing boards ought to be

When you are reading this keep this in mind.

William Money

eminem eh

actually sounds good in rap thanks!!

I dunno why, just when I read it I noticed it was written in rap format. Nice mix of iambic pentameter and some off beat trochaic stuff. Just made me smile.

Goodluck2me

When Gary found out he would lose it
He manned up, and just faced the music,
He neither cried nor gave out,
or even let out a shout,
just rued the day he did press submit!

Hollament's humour to some, might be edgy,
taken, like a hamburger would to a veggie
then He slagged Rooney dives hand history
for what reason, to dan, is a mystery
but,at least he's not British like Reggie!

goodluck2me

goodluck2me wrote: »

When Gary found out he would lose it
He manned up, and just faced the music,
He neither cried nor gave out,
or even let out a shout,
just rued the day he did press submit!

Hollament's humour to some, might be edgy,
taken, like a hamburger would to a veggie
then He slagged Rooney dives hand history
for what reason, to dan, is a mystery
but,at least he's not British like Reggie!

Ban for the worst use of commas in the history of poetry.

Goodluck2me

Deleted User wrote: »

Ban for the worst use of commas in the history of poetry.

its to convey the motion of the poetry. Sure what ,would, you, know?

goodluck2me

goodluck2me wrote: »

its to convey the motion of the poetry. Sure what ,would, you, know?

Oxford commas everywhere!!!!!

Me and you in a crossword competition so Joe. I'll give you 4/1

YULETIRED

Deleted User wrote: »

When you are reading this keep this in mind.

its a rap and a late contender for originality


Kayroo

Yer a crossword buff eh? here is one for you

5 letter word


probably too easy

the clue

the deluded poker snob is in with the rich imperial rascal.

I am declining to answer as it may start an inadvertant row and, to be honest, I am not sure cause I have been studying all day and frankly I am done with the old brainwork.

Doc Farrell

who won what Willie? i've been away and missed all the fun. who am i paying?

YULETIRED

YULETIRED wrote: »

I won't be at the ol desk for the rest of the day so here are the results.


Ive changed my mind 3 times on this...... thanks for the entertainment folks.

the winners are

1 DVD fan : 50 dollar from me
joint 2nd.
2 Eagle eye and KAyroo : 30 dollar each from Doc

3 others not even mentioned could easily have won but I went with the poem that was the nearest to the OP request...plus it was very good. ....... William Money nearly came in and stole it at the end.....with a cool unintentional rap.

So DVD fan, please PM me your stars user id and I'll send over the 50 dollar...
the poems
DVD fan

With gambing blood in my veins,
I tried my hand at holdem,
This led me to the poker forum,
Where i realised i couldnt fold them.

Then i read alot and asked advice,
And i posted till my fingers bled,
I slowly began to improve alot,
As i lolled out loud at the Cardshark Thread.

Then came some patchy times,
when BCB and Llyod got nippy,
And if you thought that was bad,
then see the thread: Golly vs Trippie.

So i built myself a bankroll,
And i took the advice on board,
And i move through the levels,
As the celtic tiger roared.

Then the americans done Afganistan,
And soon after hit Iraq,
But Flushdraw folded a set of 2's
To the lol's and Quack Quack Quack.

After some ups and downs i realised,
That in poker i could make a living,
Some months on, all i can say,
Is who the fcuk was i kidding.

The worlds a cruel place i say,
When we think about young Brandi,
Everyones a hypocryte now,
But at the time it was fine and dandy.

So 100k in one hundered days,
caught the forums imagination,
But the rumours are that Finding Nemo,
Has since gone into administration.

And with the celtic tiger slain,
And the $$$ crashing fast,
And the good old tribeca days,
Are now long in the past.

Then the Rag2rar controversy,
Do they realise what theyve done,
Were all or none responsible?
Certainly nobody will feel theyve won!

So were here today still smiling,
Cant change the past nor peoples ways,
for all the troubles boards has brought,
Its given back more funny days.

KAYROO
War of the Words
I walk through my day as a person,
I study or play cards or work,
I then sit before my computer,
My very own internet jerk.

A warrior armed with a keyboard
I slay cyber creeps by the tonne.
I comment on threads with no purpose,
I annoy Big City Banker for fun.

Then, lo! Up ahead I see danger,
A thread which divides us all round.
Where some will cry "Havoc!" and let slip;
Dogs of the moral high ground.

So battle it rages around me.
I fear that I shall not survive.
Resigned to my fate to return
To the players that play only live.

The Mods, they struggle to bind us
As slurs slip forth from our hands.
But blood has been spilt on the keyboards
Lines have been drawn in the sand.

Then the smoke clears and all seems so quiet.
Carpel tunnel the only outcome.
But next comes the dread and the fear,
Next comes recrimination.

Fingers are pointed though needless.
Statements are made off the bat.
Friendships are tested to breaking
Things now we may soon regret.

So now that we stand disunited
What is this forum to do?
Move on and ignore all our tensions?
Or start posting on two plus two?

Tomorrow's a day where redemption
May sit hand in hand with our hopes.
I know now the battle is over,
This forum is able to cope.

So let us all stand now and promise,
As we never have yet done before.
That the next time a battle here rages,
We all shall just pick on Devore.


Eagle eye

Too much has happened to put it all here
We had good beats and bad ones and stories of beer
We'll start off with yuletired who started this thread
He played well in the irish open before going card dead

Then theres El Stuntman whose quite sharp with a pen
He loves mojo and poker and a steak now and then
Then theres Rag2gar who climbed the worlds biggest hill
only to get knocked backed down by some jealous pill(ock)

The tv saw a few boardsies make apprearances about poker
Hectorjelly on Prime Time was a tad mediocre
And bigcitybanker, who analysed the days action
he came across very well and was a welcome distraction

from that eejid of a commentator, i don't know his name
but his commentary came across as terribly lame
and then there was smurph on the tv table
showing us all that her game was not just a fable

r4ad started a thread which was going down well
until hectorjelly decided to put him through hell
They argued back and forth, like warlords they battled
At times it appeared that one of them was rattled

But it went on much longer than we did expect
Until somehow they decided not to be so direct
And stopped the war of touranments versus cash
I don't how it stopped, maybe they chilled out on hash

On then to LuckyLloyd who's always in trouble
He declared paddy power was nothing but rubble
and declared that their tournament he would not make
but reports have suggested that he did partake

From what i remember julian thew was in heaven
when he called Lloyd's allin who revealed 9 7
the cards were dealt and his kj did hold
as Lloyd hit the rail without any gold

To Vegas goes Connie after winning one of the sats
on stars i believe, and to him its congrats
nicnicnic has been quiet so far this year
but before its over there'll be something to hear

I could go on about more but I've enough
of trying to rhyme up this boardsies stuff
So for now good luck I hope it goes well
for everyone but the rat who will end up in hell

Just so they are all in the one place

Doc Farrell

Can Eagle Eye and William Money post me their pokerstars account names tx?

I know William Money didn't get in the money but he gets honourary third for a great late run. tx kayroo for the post, i'll take care of these as soon as i get a chance, going away thursday so it'll be before then.

cheers d.

eagle eye

Thanks for sponsoring these prizes.
My stars sn is jody'stheman.