50 Dollar POker Poem competition!!!!!!

jbravado

Big shout out for dvdfans effort.Winner.

Marq

Controversy rife
Little useful discussion
Condescension, Steaks

Legend_DIT

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on donks;
If you can trust yourself when those in the Strategy sub-forum doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting for a decent hand to play,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise -otherwise people will agree with you and you'll be in the clique;

If you can play cards - and not make cards your master;
If you can think optimal strategy - and also apply it to your game;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to see the sentence you posted
Misquoted to make you and those who agree with you fools,
Or see how your boards nemesis boasted
He went deep in a tourney that was full of tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of a card
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about the spewtard;
If you can force your way through a deepstack tourney
And make yourself remembered long after you are gone,
Remember that poker improvement is not a destination, it's a journey
So just make sure it's the right path that you are on.

If you can post with confidence and keep your virtue,
Or have strat discussions with Highrollers - but play the Jackpot 20 game;
If neither trolls nor fellow clique members can hurt you;
If you intend to treat everyone all the same;
If you can make you opponent dwell for a minute
Before coming to the conclusion he can't have won -
Yours is the Pot and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Alternatively, head to the BB sticky!

Legend_DIT

Legend_DIT wrote: »

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on donks;
If you can trust yourself when those in the Strategy sub-forum doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting for a decent hand to play,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise -otherwise people will agree with you and you'll be in the clique;

If you can play cards - and not make cards your master;
If you can think optimal strategy - and also apply it to your game;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to see the sentence you posted
Misquoted to make you and those who agree with you fools,
Or see how your boards nemesis boasted
He went deep in a tourney that was full of tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of a card
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about the spewtard;
If you can force your way through a deepstack tourney
And make yourself remembered long after you are gone,
Remember that poker improvement is not a destination, it's a journey
So just make sure it's the right path that you are on.

If you can post with confidence and keep your virtue,
Or have strat discussions with Highrollers - but play the Jackpot 20 game;
If neither trolls nor fellow clique members can hurt you;
If you intend to treat everyone all the same;
If you can make you opponent dwell for a minute
Before coming to the conclusion he can't have won -
Yours is the Pot and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Alternatively, head to the BB sticky!

Rudyard Kipling would be proud Legend_DIT. In between the imperialistic rants and the racism, he'd have been proud...

YULETIRED

Fk me It will be difficult to pick a winner from some of these poems.

to fan the flames...



To the tune of windmills of your mind..(taken from endless badbeat stories)

Like a badbeat in a tourny, like a bubble hitting run,
Like a slowroll in a casino, from a bitches little son,
Like ipoker and it's software and the fishes that there do dwell,
Like your playing perfect poker but the cards are dogs from hell,

and yer missing from a party and you're sitting on you're arse,
and yer mother tries to call you , but your time for her is sparse,
and yer head is spinning slowly and your credit card is maxed
then you find your in a hole agian and the rake is like a tax,

and you crawl into your bedroom and there is noone there to find,
and as you lay on your weary bed, the hands are flying round your head,
........in the windmills of your mind.

GrangeUtd

no mun no fun
no cash no hash
no dope no hope
no bail just jail imo

eagle eye

Too much has happened to put it all here
We had good beats and bad ones and stories of beer
We'll start off with yuletired who started this thread
He played well in the irish open before going card dead

Then theres El Stuntman whose quite sharp with a pen
He loves mojo and poker and a steak now and then
Then theres Rag2gar who climbed the worlds biggest hill
only to get knocked backed down by some jealous pill(ock)

The tv saw a few boardsies make apprearances about poker
Hectorjelly on Prime Time was a tad mediocre
And bigcitybanker, who analysed the days action
he came across very well and was a welcome distraction

from that eejid of a commentator, i don't know his name
but his commentary came across as terribly lame
and then there was smurph on the tv table
showing us all that her game was not just a fable

r4ad started a thread which was going down well
until hectorjelly decided to put him through hell
They argued back and forth, like warlords they battled
At times it appeared that one of them was rattled

But it went on much longer than we did expect
Until somehow they decided not to be so direct
And stopped the war of touranments versus cash
I don't how it stopped, maybe they chilled out on hash

On then to LuckyLloyd who's always in trouble
He declared paddy power was nothing but rubble
and declared that their tournament he would not make
but reports have suggested that he did partake

From what i remember julian thew was in heaven
when he called Lloyd's allin who revealed 9 7
the cards were dealt and his kj did hold
as Lloyd hit the rail without any gold

To Vegas goes Connie after winning one of the sats
on stars i believe, and to him its congrats
nicnicnic has been quiet so far this year
but before its over there'll be something to hear

I could go on about more but I've enough
of trying to rhyme up this boardsies stuff
So for now good luck I hope it goes well
for everyone but the rat who will end up in hell

ionapaul

Funny stuff Eagle Eye...a sting in the tail to that one!

strewelpeter

The Al Lad wrote: »

...
the other mods will ban me I think
because I kicked up this stink

You trying to get something off your conscience Al?

The Al Lad

strewelpeter wrote: »

You trying to get something off your conscience Al?

Move up levels

kmick

Here is my masterpiece - there is much hidden meaning within its seemingly random construction. There is however nothing to fear for the fearless man.

lord, anger!
never desire a more perfect place.
o, noise!

why sell the badbeat.
the nuts grow like a small sun.
the old lady, roughly grabs us all .
why does the trail go cold?
never love a donk.

the queens walk like a misty fromage,
the floater talks like a dream
o, exhaustion!

shores grow!
death, desolation, and despair.
why does the lad fall?

connie147

I'm enjoying this thread, especially DVD's and eagle eyes contributions. CLASS!!!

TommyGunne

Kayroo wins

GrangeUtd

TommyGunne wrote: »

Kayroo wins

+1

Theresalwaysone

It genuinely hurts me to say this....

Nice one Keith.

skiroo

My frozen lock woken, as I hear the words raise
I look to my left an uncomfortable gaze
He’s tripled my bet alarm bells are ringing
I’ve only Ace King, can I really be winning?

The flop has two queens and a king by their side
I could easily fold and swallow my pride
But this lad is a bully and its time for a stance
I push all my chips in and say ‘Boy lets dance!’

He calls in a flash and flips over ace queen
I show him my hand, his realised dream
How could you call, pre-flop? I enquire
He tells me that lately his game is on fire

The turn brings a blank, and the river a Jack
Once more ace king combo has cost me my stack
I stand from my chair in gracious defeat
But I think to myself…………’WHAT A ****IN FISH’

Mr.Plough

What happened to that dude who did rail raps for $5. he was a genius.

smurph

There was a young guy name nicknamed McLovin,
Who’s W.S.O.P package was taken and it’s a troublin,
Some trolling little twat who’s not the cleverest
Decided to emails the guys at Everest
And all the tempers on boards are a bubblin,

There is a boards poster called Yuletired,
Who has Lloyds brain absolutely fried,
He has a great fascination for chimps,
But at the poker table he’s certainly no gimp,
Although I think Lloyd has actually cried

Mr.Plough

smurph wrote: »

There was a young guy name nicknamed McLovin,
Who’s W.S.O.P package was taken and it’s a troublin,
Some trolling little twat who’s not the cleverest
Decided to emails the guys at Everest
And all the tempers on boards are a bubblin,

There is a boards poster called Yuletired,
Who has Lloyds brain absolutely fried,
He has a great fascination for chimps,
But at the poker table he’s certainly no gimp,
Although I think Lloyd has actually cried

imo

Doc Farrell

Willie,

www.airwaysmotorcompany.ie want to sponsor 2nd and 3rd prizes of 30 American dollars each.
do they accept their tainted money?

(they're had better be some John Donne in here soon)

YULETIRED

Sure thing Doc. If ye want to add a 2nd and 3rd prize we might get some more entries..:) However I think then we'll entend it to next Friday to announce the winner and have a poll for the winners starting Weds. as I can harldy pick for you plus there are about 4 excellent ones I couldn't choose between myself.....



.

Lazare

1st Kayroo
2nd Blip
3rd Marq

So far IMO.

YULETIRED

tomorrow is the last day for entries. After that a poll will be placed until Friday to pick the winners.

1st priize 50 dollar on pokerstars
2nd 30 dollar from Docfarrells dodgy motors
3rd 30 dollar from Docfarrells dodgy motors


ithanku

Flushdraw

YULETIRED wrote: »

tomorrow is the last day for entries. After that a poll will be placed until Friday to pick the winners.

1st priize 50 dollar on pokerstars
2nd 30 dollar from Docfarrells dodgy motors
3rd 30 dollar from Docfarrells dodgy motors


ithanku

Poll to pick winners = bad idea!

Just pick the winners yourself Willie.

5starpool

Absolutely. People are corrupt, be the Mugabe of the forum, who needs democracy, it's for the chumps.

Ste05

Yup, boards is no democracy!!

califano

Don't buy cars that slide off at the wrong time. Morrie's Cars DON'T slide off! So call me now! 212-555-CARS :pac:

YULETIRED

Ok.so, the vote has been veto'd or for any dylexic people, the veto is voted. ...

Hmm the Mugabe approach, I'll pick the 50 dollar winner at 13.00 tomorrow and later, I will change my decision and kill the original winner and claim his property..



tough decision.....I'll re-read them later........


Doc (dodgy motars) Farrell can decide on his own runners up.......

Doc Farrell

hell no!

you decide all three willie.

(and you, rounders, i'm gonna hunt u down....:mad:)

El Stuntman

5starpool wrote: »

Absolutely. People are corrupt, be the Mugabe of the forum, who needs democracy, it's for the chimps.

in honour of the OP, I have taken the liberty of FYP