Slap on the wrist

6th

Definately dont let it go.

Drift

Edit: Was answering 6th who spotted his mistake as I posted.

Feelgood

How are you sure that he wasn't just flirting with you?. I know even that probably isn't appropriate in the given context either though it could of also been down to the fact that he might have a soft spot for you?.

LaVidaLoca

how litigious have we become.

It was a painless slap on the wrist. If you didnt give him a look there and then, forget about it.

Wing Walker

Agree with a lot of the comments here. Discuss the matter further with him if you have to. Make your displeasure known to him. Other than that, let things be unless it happens again. THEN you can take matters further.

He might like you though. Us guys do stupid things like this when we like someone!

Only my opinion though.

Good luck with it.

LaVidaLoca

Like Miss Fluff i am a manager and the importance of personal/professional boundaries is important

This is Ireland!! Have we so totally lost our sense of who we are that we have to start talking and living like humourless corporate robots, with a lawyer on our shoulder?

Wurly

That is F*cking appaling behaviour. How dare he - what a total tool.

You need to either talk to him face to face about it or email him about it. Id choose the latter as I would find the face to face thing too uncomfortable and that way you have a paper trail. He needs to know that it is not acceptable and that it makes you uncomfortable. He should not get away with this.

You do not touch/scold someone like that in a workplace environment. I dont care if he touched your arm, hand, arse, hair - bottom line - its wrong. You are NOT being oversensitive and gender is not even an issue here.

Like you said, you are not some bold child. Its supposed to be a professional workplace.

Some people - seriously, what planet are they on.

Im sorry something so embarassing happened to you. That's rotten OP.:(

board om

seriously guys, up until 15 years ago if you were the boss you could give the company secetary a smack on the ass and complement her on a fine set of ...... emmm...... filing cabinets, without having to worry about being dragged in front of a tribunal. and as a female employee you were just grateful if you didnt get felt up at the xmas party. how times have changed.

Pigletlover

I can't believe some of the responses on this thread. It was a little tap on the wrist and caused the OP no pain. She even laughed about it at the time.

What is going to be achieved by making a complaint, either to her boss or HR (which I know the OP hadn't intended doing, but it was suggested by some posters)? Does the OP want to put herself in a position where her boss and other employees avoid her in case of saying something that could be interpreted as inappropriate and they end up in the middle of a legal action? She should have said something to her boss at the time if she had an issue with it, by bringing it up now she is making an issue out of nothing. If it was to happen again then I could see there being grounds for a complaint, but I'd put it down to being a one off. From the OPs account of her boss's reaction, I think it's safe to assume he won't be doing it again.

Wurly

The fact is it was a knee-jerk reaction and the boss' instinct was to slap, albeit not a painful one.

Reason for talking about it? It made the OP uncomfortable.

END OF!

alexmcred

Grow up and get over it.

He apologised end of.

DetectivFoxtrot

board om wrote: »

seriously guys, up until 15 years ago if you were the boss you could give the company secetary a smack on the ass and complement her on a fine set of ...... emmm...... filing cabinets, without having to worry about being dragged in front of a tribunal. and as a female employee you were just grateful if you didnt get felt up at the xmas party. how times have changed.

I'm sorry but in 1993 you would NOT get away with such behaviour! go again another 15 years!

and btw thank god times have changed!;)

DetectivFoxtrot

milkerman wrote: »

I definitely would not go the formal written complaint route or even the 'chat' with your manager.
Try this. Next time your boss has to show you something just say ' I hope you wont hit me if I dont understand' and leave it at that. He will probably be quite red-faced particularly if there are other people around.
The PC thing has gotten out of hand. The best manager I ever had used to threaten to kill me at least once a week and would call me allsorts if I was being thick. He was also very protective of his staff and our wellbeing was always an issue for him. A complex character, but a good person nonetheless and a great guy to work for.

I think this is a bad idea Milkerman. It could be taken lighthearted or more likely the OPs boss could think that she's starting to get bitchy about the whole thing and not willing to let it go by sneaking in snide comments when the opportunity arises.

Also there's no need to embarrass the boss any further, i think he was genuniely mortified the first time round. He probaby gave himself a boll1cking about it in his own head.....

geminilady

A librarian did that to me too, hope it doesnt become acceptable behaviour. I dont really have any advice to tell you but good luck anyway, could he just tap people in his nature? maybe he cant really express himself

Marksie

Pigletlover wrote: »

If it was to happen again then I could see there being grounds for a complaint, but I'd put it down to being a one off.

Yes if something happens once it is calssed as an "affront to dignity". Repeated behaviour is more serious. Though it depends on the seriousness in the first place.

Though Pigletlover I too believe it was a genuine mistake, for whatever reason.

Now to clarify about "this is Ireland", this was drawn up to protect workers in workplaces.
I have reproduced a section here:

"Definitions

Both bullying and harassment are defined in Irish law, the principle guiding documents being the Health and Safety Authority "Code of Practice on the Prevention of Workplace Bullying"; the Department of Enterprise, Trade and Employment "Code of Practice Detailing Procedures for Addressing Bullying in the Workplace"; and the Equality Authority publication "Your Right to Dignity at Work". These guidelines formalise an employer's duties under the Health and Safety at Work Act and the Equality Act 2000.

The term bullying is clear enough and reasonably universal. The term harassment, however, is more commonly called inequality or discrimination elsewhere and the Equal Status Act defines nine precise grounds for harassment.

BULLYING is defined as behaviour of a physical, verbal or a psychological nature which is unwanted and unwelcome and which could reasonably be regarded as offensive. The bully, intentionally or unintentionally, misuses the power of position, knowledge or personality to domineer, intimidate or humiliate others.

The following are common but not exclusive examples of bullying behaviour:
Open aggression, threats, shouting abuse or the use of obscenities
Constant humiliation, sneering or ridicule
Unreasonable scrutiny or unreasonable demands
Taking credit for another person's work
Undermining a person's authority
Spreading malicious rumours
HARASSMENT is defined as any act or conduct which is unwanted and unwelcome and which could reasonably be regarded as offensive, humiliating or intimidating on any of the following discriminatory grounds: gender, marital status, family status, sexual orientation, religion, age, disability, race or membership of the traveller community.

The following are common but not exclusive examples of harassment:
Treating people less favourably or subjecting them to ridicule on any of the nine discrimination grounds
Demeaning and derogatory remarks, name-calling
Isolation, non co-operation or exclusion within the workplace
Unwelcome comments on appearance
Unwarranted criticism of work performance
Undermining the authority of a colleague in the workplace
Production, display or circulation of offensive material

SEXUAL HARASSMENT is defined as unwanted and unwelcome conduct which could reasonably be regarded as sexually, or otherwise on the gender ground, offensive, humiliating or intimidating. Sexual harassment undermines the dignity of the recipient, and adversely affects work or study performance.

The following examples are some of the most common forms of sexual harassment:
Sexually suggestive jokes or comments
Innuendo or jokes about a person�s sexual orientation
Questions or insults about one's private life
Unwelcome sexual attention
Display of offensive material
Leering, offensive gestures or whistling
Threats of, or actual, physical assault
Groping, patting or unnecessary touching
Suggestions that sexual favours may further someone's career, or that refusal may damage it."


Now the above is not intended to be applied in this instance as I am sure the manager is aware of his mistake, his apology tends to comfirm that.

Regardless of what posters think that is the law.

How such incidents are handled are one of two methtods:

Informally and formally.

Informal
Tell the person that you do not like the behaviour
Talk to the persons line supervisor or your line supervisor
Talk to the head of your department
Talk to HR, staff representative or other independent adjudicator

Formal
Make a written complaint
Cooperate with any investiagtion
If you are unsatisfied by the outcome, there may be a right to appeal.

So in the end you can bemoan it all you like and say that for you a slap means nothing and is a joke, for someone else it may not be.

BUT i am clarifying here that in the OP case, the guy was shocked at himself, so as such its a non issue from that front and should in no way involve a formal procedure.

The manager *should* be aware of this and realised his error. especially if you look at the definition of bullying and the word "unintentionally" you will then see the need for the personal/professional boundary

Marksie

I am going to apologise in advance to the mods of work and jobs as i fact there is a subforum newly created for this type of issue.


So i am movng it now

Jack B. Badd

Thanks Marksie, had I realised that there was a Work Problems forum I would have posted there.

In any case, I emailed my manager this morning and explained to him that I had initially laughed it off to cover up my own embarrassment and that I didn't think it was appropriate. I'm don't want to make a formal complaint but I think that similar action in the future would adversely affect our working relationship. As a result, we had a chat and he said he'd take my comments on board which was good.
However, his reaction when I pointed out that he wouldn't have acted in that way with one of the male employees was that he didn't understand what I was saying and he swiftly moved onto another topic without giving me a chance to answer or elaborate. So that, I guess, is that...

nesf

Jack B. Badd wrote: »

Thanks Marksie, had I realised that there was a Work Problems forum I would have posted there.

In any case, I emailed my manager this morning and explained to him that I had initially laughed it off to cover up my own embarrassment and that I didn't think it was appropriate. I'm don't want to make a formal complaint but I think that similar action in the future would adversely affect our working relationship. As a result, we had a chat and he said he'd take my comments on board which was good.
However, his reaction when I pointed out that he wouldn't have acted in that way with one of the male employees was that he didn't understand what I was saying and he swiftly moved onto another topic without giving me a chance to answer or elaborate. So that, I guess, is that...

If it happens again complain, if it was a one-off lapse in concentration on his part I wouldn't get worked up over it. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt about it and only decide to create a bit of hassle if it's repeated really.