Getting so angry ....

Glowing

Oh my god. I've come to the end of my teather.

I was bridesmaid for 2 close friends of mine in the last few months, great days and I thoroughly enjoyed both of them.

I'm in a long term relationship myself, and am perfectly happy, but since the last wedding especially, I'm getting HASSLED left, right and center from friends and family with the 'oh when are we going to see you walk down the aisle' and 'oh it'll be your turn next'

WOULD YOU EVER JUST FCUK OFF!

It's driving me insane. Not that I don't want to get married ever, I would but am perfectly happy the way things are and I'm not all that into weddings either. I just find it rude and insensitive, and I know some people are just joking but it's really getting tiring now. I wish they'd just change the record.

Rant over. :mad:

Donegal Lass

<_<

>_>

slice of cake?

Glowing

Donegal Lass wrote: »

<_<

>_>

slice of cake?

I hope to God you don't mean wedding cake

Cathmandooo

You are not alone, check out this thread done recently.

Don't let people like that get to you, they don't mean any harm.

fits

I somehow managed to escape this at my sister's wedding two weeks ago, and I've been engaged for a while.
Normally if people ask I tell them we're going to elope anyway... but I've no interest at all in getting married in the near future tbh.

Glowing

I don't even think it matters what your plans are, it just annoys me having people feel like they have the right to judge your relationship and stick their oar in. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

It like asking newlyweds about 'oh when will we hear pitter patter of tiny feet' - I mean she could have just had a miscarriage, or anything. So insensitive.

Curvy Vixen

Tell them that you tried to book it but the priest won't let you cos you found out your boyfriend is really a woman

Curvy Vixen

We're never having children and it drives me mad when people keep asking. I'm 41 yet and still no sign so you'd think they'd tak ethe bloody hint!!

Normally now if a 'serial asker' enquires I get all teary eyed and mention the word barren or impotent ~ usually stops them

Cathmandooo

Glowing wrote: »

I don't even think it matters what your plans are, it just annoys me having people feel like they have the right to judge your relationship and stick their oar in. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

It like asking newlyweds about 'oh when will we hear pitter patter of tiny feet' - I mean she could have just had a miscarriage, or anything. So insensitive.

Yes people are insensitive, happens all the time. It's you who can control how much it bothers you, so just don't let it.

Glowing

Curvy Vixen wrote: »

We're never having children and it drives me mad when people keep asking. I'm 41 yet and still no sign so you'd think they'd tak ethe bloody hint!!

Normally now if a 'serial asker' enquires I get all teary eyed and mention the word barren or impotent ~ usually stops them

That must get incredibly annoying - don't know how you keep your patience with that one!

Clare Bear

Ah they don't mean any harm in it though...I know it's annoying as hell for you but you just have to go along with the joke the next time. "Oh any day now" or "If only he'd be so lucky"....no point getting wound up about it.

That or thump them!

John Mason

eh, you know you are never going to get married, these people dont know that. so either tell them to feck off its none of their busines or build a bridge simple

Ginny

Curvy Vixen wrote: »

We're never having children and it drives me mad when people keep asking. I'm 41 yet and still no sign so you'd think they'd tak ethe bloody hint!!

Normally now if a 'serial asker' enquires I get all teary eyed and mention the word barren or impotent ~ usually stops them

Unfortunetly in my last relationship I did resort to
"If we could have kids we would"... its an awful thing to say but sometimes it was the only way to shut them up.

Glowing

GinnyJo wrote: »

Unfortunetly in my last relationship I did resort to
"If we could have kids we would"... its an awful thing to say but sometimes it was the only way to shut them up.

Well the fact they asked you such a personal question in the first place gives you the right to say what you bloody like

Glowing

Prepare a rant about how much you don't believe in marriage;)

I got this **** also after I brought my boyfriend to a family wedding (bear in mind no one had met him yet as we were together only 5 months) Luckily my boyfriend has a great sense of humor

Glowing wrote: »

Oh my god. I've come to the end of my teather.

I was bridesmaid for 2 close friends of mine in the last few months, great days and I thoroughly enjoyed both of them.

I'm in a long term relationship myself, and am perfectly happy, but since the last wedding especially, I'm getting HASSLED left, right and center from friends and family with the 'oh when are we going to see you walk down the aisle' and 'oh it'll be your turn next'

WOULD YOU EVER JUST FCUK OFF!

It's driving me insane. Not that I don't want to get married ever, I would but am perfectly happy the way things are and I'm not all that into weddings either. I just find it rude and insensitive, and I know some people are just joking but it's really getting tiring now. I wish they'd just change the record.

Rant over. :mad:

DetectivFoxtrot

OP you have my sympathies.

I get the 'babies' question all the time. I think it's because I'm married 5 years (even though I'm only 28!). It's society's general belief (and my mother-in-law's) that it should have happened long ago. I've even had the 'is everthing working in "that" department' question I mean HOW RUDE. I now just answer that I'm infertile - usually does the trick.;)

I just don't wanna have babies yet - but I've stopped expecting people to understand that!!:mad:

Unaton

The bf's brother just got married so now everyone's expecting me and my OH to walk down the aisle. Meh. I've nothing against getting married but the wedding itself is a huge monkey show. I wish we could just elope...

Oryx

I had that kind of comment for years. Stupid questions deserve stupid answers, so I eventually had stock answers prepared when I was asked about marriage.

When pigs learn to fly.
On the 12th. Of never.
Who'd marry him?
His mother wont let me.
Why? Im not pregnant.

That kind of thing. I used the pig one so often when I did get married I put a winged, flying pig on the invitations.

fits

Unaton wrote: »

The bf's brother just got married so now everyone's expecting me and my OH to walk down the aisle. Meh. I've nothing against getting married but the wedding itself is a huge monkey show. I wish we could just elope...

Why cant you? You can do whatever you like.

My family are fully aware that I aint going to go the traditional route, and after four weddings already they could care less anyway. Actually thats not quite right, they would wish for me to do whatever suits me... and that will never be the big white wedding.

Glowing

Grrr. Yes, I can handle one or two jokey questions from close friends the odd time, but when everyone and their mother think they have the right to comment, and they all do so in the space of 2 weeks, that's when it REALLY gets annoying!

Unaton

fits wrote: »

Why cant you? You can do whatever you like.

My family are fully aware that I aint going to go the traditional route, and after four weddings already they could care less anyway. Actually thats not quite right, they would wish for me to do whatever suits me... and that will never be the big white wedding.

Oh there is me. And then there is the OH. He wants to please the family. I see the wedding as something intimate, he as a huge piss up for family and friends. *sigh*

Glowing

Unaton wrote: »

Oh there is me. And then there is the OH. He wants to please the family. I see the wedding as something intimate, he as a huge piss up for family and friends. *sigh*

How about an intimate ceremony with LOADS of wine

Unaton

Glowing wrote: »

How about an intimate ceremony with LOADS of wine

Heee heee I'll consider this :P

fits

Unaton wrote: »

Oh there is me. And then there is the OH. He wants to please the family. I see the wedding as something intimate, he as a huge piss up for family and friends. *sigh*

Ah.. I see..

My commiserations (sp?)

Really dont know how to spell that one actually

AckwelFoley

Are you in your 30's?

i know i got that shyte alot when i was with my ex, because we were together for so long.. it annoyed me abit because i know it was never going to happen because of the age difference.. she was 23 i was 29 when we split up.

I just think its best not to listen to them and just smile it off.. or as i do.. make a joke about it..

Unaton

fits wrote: »

Ah.. I see..

My commiserations (sp?)

Really dont know how to spell that one actually

Your spelling is fine :P and thanks. I know I'll never get my dream wedding (just the 2 of us and the priest) but can't I at least hope for less than 50 people?

Ginny

Well I now will have the aul biddies asking me when am I going to get a man to look forward to, its one of my friends weddings soon and I'm newly single so I can't wait for their new line of attack...:rolleyes:
I'm considering bringing a girl friend with me and letting them gossip away:D

Unaton

GinnyJo wrote: »

I'm considering bringing a girl friend with me and letting them gossip away:D

Tell them you've set the date already.

Glowing

snyper wrote: »

Are you in your 30's?

i know i got that shyte alot when i was with my ex, because we were together for so long.. it annoyed me abit because i know it was never going to happen because of the age difference.. she was 23 i was 29 when we split up.

I just think its best not to listen to them and just smile it off.. or as i do.. make a joke about it..

No, not even, I'm only 27! (and a half, well a fairly big half)

Unaton

Unaton wrote: »

Your spelling is fine :P and thanks. I know I'll never get my dream wedding (just the 2 of us and the priest) but can't I at least hope for less than 50 people?

if he wants to pay for the rest of the guests, yes

Unaton

bluewolf wrote: »

if he wants to pay for the rest of the guests, yes

Ah it's not about the money. We have plenty of it. I just don't like big weddings in general. The brother's wedding had like 100 quests. 100!? Jaysis. The day should be about the bride and the groom and not some family members who throw up on the cake or decide to swim across the river totally s*itfaced. Meh.

And sorry for being kinda off topic.

Glowing

Ha! 100? Pffff!

The last one I was at had 200+ for the meal, and 400 for the afters!

Unaton

Unaton wrote: »

Ah it's not about the money. We have plenty of it. I just don't like big weddings in general. The brother's wedding had like 100 quests. 100!? Jaysis. The day should be about the bride and the groom and not some family members who throw up on the cake or decide to swim across the river totally s*itfaced. Meh.

And sorry for being kinda off topic.

Ah I know it's not about the money, but it's usually something to consider and the idea of having to pay for a lot of extra guests might have put him off

Indeed, if I ever get married it would be tiny and preferably with minimal alcohol

i was at a wedding once where a very large hotel hall was crammed full of people as guests. i have no idea of numbers, but it was easily far over 100

AckwelFoley

Glowing wrote: »

No, not even, I'm only 27! (and a half, well a fairly big half)

Yea.. u are prime age for these sort of questions..

Dont worry... when u turn past 33 -34.. ppl will be too shy to ask in case you have a "problem"like if being single is a problem or somthing :rolleyes:

Unaton

@ Glowing. 400? I don't even know that many people...

@ Bluewold. Tiny wedding, hardly any alcohol=my dream wedding. One can only dream *sigh*

Glowing

snyper wrote: »

Dont worry... when u turn past 33 -34.. ppl will be too shy to ask in case you have a "problem"like if being single is a problem or somthing :rolleyes:

Great! I'll look forward to another 5 years of gritting my teeth and smiling at these interfering busybodies, while I clench my fists behind my back

bronte

I was asked the 'when are you getting married ' question at my cousin's wedding last august. I'm twenty bloody three!! :eek: Bloody hell!
Just said it's really not on my mind at the moment and won't be for some time!
Grr.. you'd swear it was the only goal to have in life!

watna

GinnyJo wrote: »

Well I now will have the aul biddies asking me when am I going to get a man to look forward to, its one of my friends weddings soon and I'm newly single so I can't wait for their new line of attack...:rolleyes:
I'm considering bringing a girl friend with me and letting them gossip away:D

I'll be your lesbian friend!

I was actually thinking about this on the way in to work this morning. When I told my parents I was moving in my bf and that we planned to move to NZ they went mental (This was a year ago). I was defending myself saying that when mum was my age they'd moved off the America together. The response I got was but we were married. There was no thought given to the fact that perhaps we planned to get married but didn't want to do it there and then just to please other people but that we were as comitted as married couples were, without that piece of paper. If we had been married would they have raised no objections?

My OH is visiting his uber conservative relations at the moment and is getting the same stuff. Why aren't you married yet (I don't think they approve of us "living in sin"!), when are you going to get married, don't get married abroad etc.

How about we'll do it when we can afford it and we're ready for it. Why should be do it now to make other people comfortable when the two of us know we plan to do it anyway.

I find it all very strange. This desperate need other people have for us to be official. Even my parents, who really aren't that pushy. We know what we are and that should be enough for everyone else too.

It doesn't really get to me too much. I generally don't think about it but it is very odd. People like this are like Christians, they have this strange need for everyone to believe the same as them, like strength in number or something!

Ginny

Dammit W you'll be gone!!!!

watna

GinnyJo wrote: »

Dammit W you'll be gone!!!!

Aww, we'd make a beautiful couple!

Jules

My parents are complete opposite. My mum always said marry in haste repent at leisure. She told all of us, 5 kids, to live with the person before getting married. And to have a long engagement. Out of the 5 of us there are two not married myself and my older brother. But the fecker is giving in and getting married in december. I got engaged two weeks ago now :D:D and i have no intention of getting married here. We always said we would go away just the two of us and do it, come back and have a party with the family. Mum and Dad were a bit miffed at it but they have had 2 big weddings and my older bro will be having a smaller one in december. Think its a waste of money tbh!

watna

Jules wrote: »

My parents are complete opposite. My mum always said marry in haste repent at leisure. She told all of us, 5 kids, to live with the person before getting married. And to have a long engagement. Out of the 5 of us there are two not married myself and my older brother. But the fecker is giving in and getting married in december. I got engaged two weeks ago now :D:D and i have no intention of getting married here. We always said we would go away just the two of us and do it, come back and have a party with the family. Mum and Dad were a bit miffed at it but they have had 2 big weddings and my older bro will be having a smaller one in december. Think its a waste of money tbh!

+1 I don't like big wedding anyway.

Vegas ftw, that's where we're going when we get married.