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Arguing with the b/f - what is normal??

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Comments

  • #32
    Aura
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 263 ✭✭Aura


    It's hard to comment on the specifics of your relationship obviously but I do think couples if committed to one another can get past this but it would probably take some outside intervention ie counselling or the like which I would be surprised really to see people of your age being willing to undergo. You're not communicating with each other and maybe if you both tried to really listen to the other and put yourself in their shoes you might understand where you're both coming from. Fights of that nature are not healthy and so in answer to your original post not normal but if this is someone you can see going the distance with than stop concentrating on all the misunderstandings and hurt and do everything you both can muster to resolve things or find a way to better handle the inevitable arguments you will have. Identify how you react in these situations and try and adopt a different method to see if it helps. I.e if you are the talker try walking instead first. I would think twice though at your age though about whether you're ready for a commitment of that level.


  • #33
    Aura
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 263 ✭✭Aura


    How Strange wrote: »
    when a man throws something in an argument it's interpreted as sign of potential domestic abuse. when a woman throws something it's a sign of passion.

    Double standards?

    Throwing anything is outright wrong. If you can't be mature enough to control your temper and argue something out like an adult then you shouldn't be in a relationship.

    That's not directed at any poster in particular, it is my opinion.

    Yeah think there can be serious double standards in this regard and as you suggest it does not usually favour the guy which is pretty backward thinking in my opinion.


  • #34
    Bendihorse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,017 ✭✭✭Bendihorse


    A measure i go by to keep a tab on thigs between me and my BF is that the good times should outweigh the bad 3 or 4 to 1 at least. If it becomes more fighting than harmonious its defo time to walk away. I argue with mine quite a bit, but thats just how we roll, the good times are great and defo outweigh the arguments and the air is always completely clear afterwards, no suppressed anger or remaining hurt. We let a day end on an argument.

    So basically, its up to you what you think is acceptable, if you think the fighting/arguing is more hassle than hes worth then you know what to do. Firey relationships can be fun too, as long as no one is getting deeply hurt.


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