Movie titles with different meanings.

Duggy747

This is probably meant more-so for the Film forum but I thought it be more fun here with more people.

The idea is to use a movie title and pretend it's for a completely different movie.

My Example:

The Terminator

A heart-warming quirky indie drama about a lonely insect exterminator (Steve Buscemi) with a hidden passion for knitting. Faced with social problems and an unsuccessful love-life he travels across America to compete in the New Orleans knitting contest, and to find himself. Along the way he meets many strange characters including a spotty teenager played by Will Smith who tags along with him to find the world's biggest piece of popcorn seed.

Karl Hungus

More afterhours material tbh. It's the kind of thing that myself and Ixoy general frown on.

KingOfFairview

I Am Legend.

The heartwarming tale of a Cretan half-man half-bull abomination, trying to make it in a world he never made. Finding himself in modern day LA, Minotaur (played by adam Sandler) blunders his way in front of Sarah (Jessica Biels)s car, and eventually, her heart. but it all falls apart when he gores her during sex.

I think this could get funny, ok ok . My example :

The Thin Red Line -

Girl now knows shes a woman starring Winova Ryder.

KingOfFairview

KingOfFairview wrote: »

I Am Legend.

The heartwarming tale of a Cretan half-man half-bull abomination, trying to make it in a world he never made. Finding himself in modern day LA, Minotaur (played by adam Sandler) blunders his way in front of Sarah (Jessica Biels)s car, and eventually, her heart. but it all falls apart when he gores her during sex.

ROFL

seamus

The Shining.

Furniture restorer Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) has been down on his luck recently. Faced with a failing business and a family to support, he's forced to take on his biggest challenge yet; A gigantic viking ship. It needs a french polish and he's the only man for the job...

KingOfFairview

28 days later.

4 hour collage consisting of a woman inserting a tampon again and again and again with monotonous regularity. Starring Kate Hudson, Casper van Diem and Ted Nugent.

Blackhorse Slim

Titanic

Joe is a down-on-his-luck mechanic, until he and his out-of-work buddy hit on the perfect money-making scheme - breast enhancement maintenance!

KingOfFairview

No country for old men.

Comedy romp featuringMickey Rooney and Bob Hope starring as Fred and Gene Winglemeyer, two brother who are cruely denied the opportunity to set up their own nation state by a heartless government official, played by Ralph Fiennes.

The day after tomorrow

Roger(Charlton Heston) & Mindy(Judi Dence) have experimented viagra & have been having sex for 2 days. Mindy wakes up the next day to find Roger dead. Is Mindy to tell the truth about what happened or is she going to cover it up?

Pompey Magnus

X-Men:

A moving tale charting the lives of two post-op transexuals and their attempts to make their way in a hostile world and their hopes to one day be accepted for who they really are.

Agamemnon

Reservoir Dogs

Heart-warming Disney animated film about a gang of lovable dogs living in a reservoir. Things take a turn for the tragic when Blondey is infected with rabies and bites the ear off a passing cop. The ending will have you in tears as the mutts find themselves captured by dog catchers and gassed in a Mexican stand-off at the dog pound.

Baudelaire

Aliens

Harrowing tale of a family of Roma Gypsie illegal aliens who, having emigrated to Ireland, struggle to hide from the authories in tents on the M50 roundabout surviving on berries, discarded half eaten Big Macs and poached Swans.

Crazy Christ

Heat

A moving account of the Stardust disaster starring Samuel L Jackson as the fire

The Hill Billy

Michael Collins

Big-budget docu-drama starring Liam Neeson as the poor lonely astronaut left twiddling his thumbs in the Apollo lander while Neil Armstrong & Buzz Aldrin make history & win the hearts of billions by being the first to set foot on the moon.

Neeson's hang-dog face accurately portrays how píssed off Collins is to be left scratching his hole & not being made famous while his two brown-nosing fellow astronauts get all the glory & have a fcuking ball & he remains a nobody.

spurious

Brief Encounter

Love blossoms amongst the skimpies.

Pompey Magnus

Hill Billy wrote: »

Michael Collins

Big-budget docu-drama starring Liam Neeson as the poor lonely astronaut left twiddling his thumbs in the Apollo lander while Neil Armstrong & Buzz Aldrin make history & win the hearts of billions by being the first to set foot on the moon.

Neeson's hang-dog face accurately portrays how píssed off Collins is to be left scratching his hole & not being made famous while his two brown-nosing fellow astronauts get all the glory & have a fcuking ball & he remains a nobody.

Brilliant

Depeche_Mode

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

X-Men:

A moving tale charting the lives of two post-op transexuals and their attempts to make their way in a hostile world and their hopes to one day be accepted for who they really are.

agamemnon wrote: »

Reservoir Dogs

Heart-warming Disney animated film about a gang of lovable dogs living in a reservoir. Things take a turn for the tragic when Blondey is infected with rabies and bites the ear off a passing cop. The ending will have you in tears as the mutts find themselves captured by dog catchers and gassed in a Mexican stand-off at the dog pound.

Baudelaire wrote: »

Aliens

Harrowing tale of a family of Roma Gypsie illegal aliens who, having emigrated to Ireland, struggle to hide from the authories in tents on the M50 roundabout surviving on berries, discarded half eaten Big Macs and poached Swans.

Crazy Christ wrote: »

Heat

A moving account of the Stardust disaster starring Samuel L Jackson as the fire

Hill Billy wrote: »

Michael Collins

Big-budget docu-drama starring Liam Neeson as the poor lonely astronaut left twiddling his thumbs in the Apollo lander while Neil Armstrong & Buzz Aldrin make history & win the hearts of billions by being the first to set foot on the moon.

Neeson's hang-dog face accurately portrays how píssed off Collins is to be left scratching his hole & not being made famous while his two brown-nosing fellow astronauts get all the glory & have a fcuking ball & he remains a nobody.

All ****ing excellent!! Keep em coming. In histarics in the office here and my colleagues think im a nut.

Ruu_Old

Man on Fire

A quiet man from a quiet town, all he wanted to do was keep warm for the night. No one told him to let go of the petrol can..

KingOfFairview

2001 A Space Oddessy

Mere days after the terrorist attack in NY, Indie survivors Space play a gig in Belfast's premiere arena... can their jangleworthy popsensibilities heal the jangled nerves of the frightened nordies?

King Kong

A movie outlying the career of Mary Harney starring Rosie O' Donnell.

Crazy Christ

Flightplan

(Working Title - Get Rich or Die Flying)


Otis (50 Cent) has always dreamed of being a pilot. Unfortunately, the only wings he can get his hands on around the hood are chicken wings. Follow Otis as he struggles to realise his dream of being the first international rapper pilot against the background of the '92 Los Angeles turf wars. Guest appearance from Morgan Freeman, playing the voice of a flight simulator.

roughan

WOMB RAIDER !!!


When wealthy treasure hunter Cara Loft (LAUREN HAYS - Playboy's Girlfriends 2) is delivered an invitation to meet renowed art collector Dr.Scrotus (ROLAND LANZA), the sexy adventurer is thrust head-on into the greatest and most dangerous erotic adventure of her life... the search for the three sacred wombs. With danger at every turn, and beautiful but lethal spy Natasha (ANTOINETTE ABBOTT - Playboy's Springbreak) hot on her heels, Cara must travel to the scorching deserts of Arabia, the untamed jungles of Africa, and the mysterious mountains of Tibet in order to reunite the legendary womb idols of creation. Written by Scott, Randolph

EamonnKeane

V for Vendetta:

A dispute between two 6-year-old classmates degenerates into violence, intimidation and finally murder.

Pompey Magnus

The Untouchables

This historical tear jerker, set 2000 years ago in Judea, follows the tale of a group of lepers whose lives (and bodies) gradually fall apart.

Jesus Wept

'Silence of the Lambs'

Heart warming documentary following local Farmer Randylonghorn as he nurses his new flock through their severe dose of chronic laryngitis, set in rural Galway.

Baudelaire

The Matrix

Tale of Neo the junkies'(Keano Reeves) search for a utensile to burn his Heroine on in time for his next hit after he is transported into a wonderland of rubber buildings after excepting a red pill offered to him from a hobo(Laurence Fishburne) who found it in a dumpster but his quest is doomed because unfortunatle...in Wonderland there is no spoon.

Blisterman

Lord of the Rings

Having conquered the dancing world, and becoming Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatley takes on a new challenge- working his way through the ranks and becoming world heavyweight boxing champion.

Leeby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf7h6o3I8yw

Jesus Wept

'There's Something About Mary'

Documentary detailing the 8th wonder of the world, Mary Harney.

junior_apollo

A touching story of a quiet and shy teenager Jimmy Nelson (Matt Damon) who's turning of age changes his life forever.

Unsure of what to do with himself, Jimmy enbarks on a spree of sexual assaults, not only on his fellow classmates (male and female)... but also turns on the ones he loves... Fido...

Jimmy's journey culminates in a boy-hunt led by his transexual mother Crystal (Tommy Lee Jones) who blames his/herself for all of Jimmy's problems

Pompey Magnus

Last tango in Paris

Low budget British comedy in which three Newcastle lads on holiday in France discover that their beloved Tango soft drink is being discontinued and so they begin a frantic effort to search Parisian corner shops to buy up as many cans as possible.

briantwin

I am Sam

The Samantha Mumba story. A rollercoaster ride of emotions and careers with a murderous climax only equalled in "Carrie". Sam (played by Herself) was a young starlet with the world at her feet. She didn't realise the price of her young fame. Her agent Louis Walsh (played by Danny DeVito) has shot this young girl into stardom but has turned his back on her when the going got tough. But where will this starlet land when she falls back to earth? This is "High School Musical" crossed with "Falling Down". Nominated for an Academy Award for best visual effects following the scene "burning down of Vicar St." following her less than sell out gig (actual gig sold 12 tickets). A hysterical yet believable performance from the lead propels this movie into the irish cinematic history books. With cameos from Spyrell (Big Brother) and Glenda Gilson (????).

Xavi6

Meet Joe Black

It's 1992 and the first Nigerian man lands in Ireland. Watch him overcome the prejudice to star in an intercounty final and run a successful back alley jewellery stall. Follow the tale to the late 90s when he encourages all his pregnant female friends to join him in the land of prosperity and easy passports.

He's not your average joe soap, he's your average joe black

johnny_adidas

Leeby wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf7h6o3I8yw

brilliant. wouldnt it be great for the missus to drag you to the cinema having seen a chick flick trailor and it turn out to be something completely different

Maximilian

Alien.

Bob Sanchez was just an ordinary guy. But Bob's life is about to change. When Bob wakes up in an unfamiliar Spaceship, alone, hungover with no friends and still trapped in his fancy-dress costume, he's about to find that some people will stop at nothing to kill him. Now Bob has to escape the ship and its flame-thrower wielding killers, in a terrifying game of kill or be killed.

c - 13

Passions of the Christ
A documentary for all the family, join our saviour Jesus Christ as he talks us through some of the other hobbies in his life such as woodworking, fishing and turning common liquids into alcoholic ones !

Pathfinder
This new movie from Pixar will entertain both old and young, the tale of an charismatic young calculator called George who wants to be a GPS system.

Blackhorse Slim

Escape from New York

Osama (Sacha Baron Cohen) has just bombed the World Trade Center. Pretty soon, the place is going to be crawling with media and CIA. Can his buddy George W (Richard Dean Anderson) get him and his family out in time?

Baudelaire

The Devil Wears Prada

After a life of vastly overcharging for crap accessories thus causing anquish to men everywhere who had to endure the nags of their wife's because they couldn't afford to buy them said crap Miuccia Prada(Emily Blunt) dies and for her sins is sent to hell, there she meets the Devil(Meryl Streep) and learns 3 valuable lessons. 1. The Devil is a Woman, 2. There's enough skin on a human to make a nice leather jacket and matching handbag and 3. The Devil wears Prada.

Sugar Drunk

Hot Fuzz:
A young woman has an accident at the waxing salon.

30 days of night:
A dyslexic man suffering from chronic insomnia sits up night after night pondering his existence and wondering if there really is a dog

Dodgeball
A case of mistaken identity means a straight man ends up at a gay stag party on a remote island, where every one else assumes he is the rent boy they ordered. Desperate to dodge their balls, he flees into the night but he is not alone

The colour of money:
Documentary starring bertie as himself

junior_apollo

junior_apollo wrote: »

A touching story of a quiet and shy teenager Jimmy Nelson (Matt Damon) who's turning of age changes his life forever.

Unsure of what to do with himself, Jimmy enbarks on a spree of sexual assaults, not only on his fellow classmates (male and female)... but also turns on the ones he loves... Fido...

Jimmy's journey culminates in a boy-hunt led by his transexual mother Crystal (Tommy Lee Jones) who blames his/herself for all of Jimmy's problems

*Wipes tears of laughter from eyes*

Leeby

johnny_adidas wrote: »

brilliant. wouldnt it be great for the missus to drag you to the cinema having seen a chick flick trailor and it turn out to be something completely different

If you liked that one, here's another for ya!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfwQKapDMws

junior_apollo

The year is 2017, Europe is under the grip of the eastern europeans immigrants... They have cornered every market and are now in control of all the european governments... Uniting all nations under the one flag... and forming the new Europoland

But will their own success prove to be their undoing?...

Coming to a cinema near you this Christmas, watch as the African nations immigrate to this new eutopia under the guise of ex-euro-citizenship as French and Dutch...

It will be a long cold winter... where the nights and the people are only going to get darker...

Baudelaire

Dumb and Dumber

The life and times of Posh and Becks

johnny_adidas

Leeby wrote: »

If you liked that one, here's another for ya!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfwQKapDMws

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWynfsu87ag

Duggy747

The Godfather

Rob Schneider plays Bob, an average fast food employee who is cursed with bad luck after accidently feeding a mysterious gypsy her own boiled foot. To make matters worse the girl of his dreams, Sarah (Heather Graham), is moving to Yemen with her bully boyfriend, Brad (Clint Eastwood), after he is to be Godfather to Sarah's niece. One day when Bob confronts Brad about moving away he accidently boils Brad to death in his workplace. Devastated, Bob tries to make it up to Sarah by taking the role of Godfather to her niece, but not without hilarious consequenses!! Much hilariouty ensues with this 24-carat romantic comedy.

Rated PG-13

Baudelaire

A bit obvious but:

Alien V's Predator:

Action packed adventure about how ET, the lovable alien, tries to protect Elliot when Michael Jackson comes for a visit.

daauneal

KILL BILL

a story of how Borak Obama ( denzel washington ) tries to defeat the evil Bill Clinton ( Tommy Lee Jones )before he completely destroys obama's presidential campaign under the hands of the evil Hilary 'knee cap' Clinton played by Ann Robinson.

Baudelaire

Kill Bill Volume 2:

The story of how Hilary then goes on to join forces with Borak Obama ( denzel washington ) after she hears about Bill Clinton ( Tommy Lee Jones ) affair with Monica Lewinski (Sandra Bullox).

TheVan

The Godfather

Set after "Three Men and a Baby" and "Three Men and a Little Lady", this tale of family strife taken to extremes.

When Peter (Tom Selleck) and the mother-who-no-one-remembers get married, the "little lady" now has a father.....but who's the Godfather?

Intense rivalry builds between Michael Kellam (Guttenberg) and Jack Holden (Danson) as to who the Godfather is to be. It culminates in an interplanetary duel in X-Wing fighters somewhere near the Cardassian homeworld....which for the purposes of this film shall be called Teatro Massimo.





(I'm ignoring the fact that Ted Danson is the biological father - an ode to Irish family law!)

TheVan

TheVan wrote: »

The Godfather

Set after "Three Men and a Baby" and "Three Men and a Little Lady", this tale of family strife taken to extremes.

When Peter (Tom Selleck) and the mother-who-no-one-remembers get married, the "little lady" now has a father.....but who's the Godfather?

Intense rivalry builds between Michael Kellam (Guttenberg) and Jack Holden (Danson) as to who the Godfather is to be. It culminates in an interplanetary duel in X-Wing fighters somewhere near the Cardassian homeworld....which for the purposes of this film shall be called Teatro Massimo.





(I'm ignoring the fact that Ted Danson is the biological father - an ode to Irish family law!)

Well thought lol


Predator

Starring Gary Glitter as himself.