Taking the name

Quality

Hi just want to know how many of the girls here will take their husbands name when they get married.

Any comments welcome....

rain on

Double Barrell

I can't imagine I will, but then again you never know how you'll feel when the thing actually happens. If he has a really cool surname I might. The current fella doesn't have a hope

What happens if you want to take his name and yours is already double-barrelled? My ex's sister just got engaged and she was given both her parents' surnames.. does she drop one and replace it with her husband's, or drop them both? I spose I'll find out soon enough anyway. Though I do like the idea of her having three surnames.

DubLegs

No

Yes i'd take it. Have never liked my surname - spent teen age years have the p*ss take out of me over it. So i'd defo take the other halves, unless it was worse

LivingDeadGirl

No

Yep I'd take it, mine is ridiculously common heh.

bluedolphin

Double Barrell

I said no, but I think I'd take it for personal things like signing Christmas cards and family matters and whatever. But I'd definitely retain my own name on a professional level and on bank accounts, etc. It could end up being very confusing though

stick_figure

Hell to the no. My boyfriend's name is awful. Mine is nothing special, but it's rare enough so I'd like to keep it going

Double Barrell

I'd keep mine and the children get mine.

WindSock

No

LivingDeadGirl wrote: »

Yep I'd take it, mine is ridiculously common heh.

Same for me

I would take his name also for a historical and geneological point of view as the bloodline can only be traced through the Male chromosome or something like that. So to me it makes more sense for the woman to take the mans name. I wouldn't expect him to take mine and double barrelled are horrible things altogether.

Nightwish

No

Definately. Sure what's the reason for not doing it? If I decide to spend the rest of my life with someone, I'll share the surname too. *dreams of being Mrs. McLoughlin*

Zaph

WindSock wrote: »

double barrelled are horrible things altogether.

The only women I know who have double-barrelled surnames are so far up their own arses it's frightening. Admittedly all three were like that before they got married and thankfully I don't know any of them that well, but I would have put money on any of them going double-barrelled after they were married. It just seems to be something that only a certain type of stuck up, pretentious woman does.

WindSock

No

Yeah it just to show that you have come from a well to do family, really. So people will know once you have been married.

zaph

Double Barrell

zaph wrote: »

It just seems to be something that only a certain type of stuck up, pretentious woman does.

I have many very ordinary, unassuming friends who go double barrel.
Some married older and were much attached to their identity, some just have have double barrels that sound nice and others have children from previous realtionships with their own name.

In Brazil your given a double barrel and then you choose the one you like when you get older.

embee

My daughter has her Daddy's surname, because we will more than likely get married someday and once a name is registered, it can't be changed. I'd take his surname too - it goes with my first name just as well as my own surname.

Crumble Froo

No

i wouldnt have antyhing against taking a man's name if i married him (unless it really was frightful), but particualrly now, given my man can't pronounce my surnmae properly (bleedin kiwi accent), i'd definitely take his.

Zaph

WindSock wrote:

Yeah it just to show that you have come from a well to do family, really. So people will know once you have been married.

I don't think it's even that. Of the three, one is genuinely from a well-to-do family, her father owns one of the best known car dealerships in Dublin and is seriously loaded. The other two are more "aspirational", to put it as kindly as I can.

AckwelFoley

hey, sorry to butt in ladies..

As a guy when i was younger i was of the opinion that it was inportant to take the mans name.. bla bla..

Personally now i couldnt care less, my ex, made a good point in that in certain careers, when you make a name for yourself, its pperhaps not wise to change it.


and personally, not meaning to offend but i deplore double barrelled names on children.


Perhaps my opinion will change in another 10 years

Mind you, the most important thing for me is that i can find a woman somewhere to carry my spawn, if healthy i dont care if they want to call it Spot!.

WindSock

Double Barrell

WindSock wrote: »

Same for me

for a historical and geneological point of view as the bloodline can only be traced through the Male chromosome or something like that.

To me bloodlines are only relevant to horses and showdogs, but genelogically people trace their families on both sides so that is nonsense.
I have a rather sinking feeling that our progeny will be tracing us via our ramblings on the boards.ie archives.

Crumble Froo

No

if i was to have a kid outside marriage, i'd give him/her both our names.

Zaph

Moonbaby wrote: »

I have a rather sinking feeling that our progeny will be tracing us via our ramblings on the boards.ie archives.

In that case we'd all better get used to the idea that we're going to be disowned by future generations

Cathmandooo

No

I will 100% take my husbands name, more for my future children than him. i think it would be awful for my children to have a different name to me or their father, it's just wrong IMO (unless I'm not with him).

Cathooo

Double Barrell

Cathooo wrote: »

I will 100% take my husbands name, more for my future children than him. i think it would be awful for my children to have a different name to me or their father, it's just wrong IMO (unless I'm not with him).

So if you broke up with him and kept the children, you'd change their names?

Tar.Aldarion

I'd say whoever I make lucky will, my name rocks.


I would say just pick the 'cooler' name.

Zaph

Cathooo wrote: »

I will 100% take my husbands name, more for my future children than him. i think it would be awful for my children to have a different name to me or their father, it's just wrong IMO (unless I'm not with him).

My sister separated from her husband last year and she's recently started using her maiden name again, although the kids obviously have their idiot father's name. However a friend of mine separated 6 or 7 years ago and still uses her married name as she says it's easier dealing with schools, bringing the kids on holidays and the like when her name is the same as the kids'. She tried using her maiden name a couple of times and said it caused all sorts of confusion when she signed forms etc., because all the older records had her married name on them. She intends to change back to her maiden name when the kids finish school but it's ridiculous that in this day and age some places just can't cope with what is becoming an increasingly common situation.

Cathmandooo

No

No I wouldnt, I meant if we werent a couple when they were conceived i'd give them my name, it would take an awful lot for me to change their names

Cathmandooo

No

zaph wrote: »

My sister separated from her husband last year and she's recently started using her maiden name again, although the kids obviously have their idiot father's name. However a friend of mine separated 6 or 7 years ago and still uses her married name as she says it's easier dealing with schools, bringing the kids on holidays and the like when her name is the same as the kids'. She tried using her maiden name a couple of times and said it caused all sorts of confusion when she signed forms etc., because all the older records had her married name on them. She intends to change back to her maiden name when the kids finish school but it's ridiculous that in this day and age some places just can't cope with what is becoming an increasingly common situation.

I can well imagine that, that's one of the reasons I'd take his name and give that name to my kids, saves a lot of hassle if ye stay together (hopefully for me the odds will be that I'll stick with the father of my children)

spinandscribble

personally i'd take a double barrel but only if it sounds good. problem is my bf (just for example) has a double barrel name. my surnames Finn so if i have a boy i'd have his first name as that.

beanyb

Double Barrell

Right now, I think I'd probably keep my own name. But that might change once I'm actually in the situation of having to decide. My last name is unusual, and I like it. Plus, my mother kept her own name at a time when it was a really strange thing to do so I've grown up thinking it's a fairly normal thing to do!

Any kids I had would take the fathers name though. I'm not keen on double-barrelled names.

ztoical

Double Barrell

def no from me but then little chance of me getting married [not in an awww I'll never find a man sense but in the I just don't believe in it sense] so I don't think it will ever come up.

My mum kept her name and it never caused any issues

Pigman II

I was hoping the naysayer's to this question would cite women’s independence, social equality or the antiquated nature of marriage (among others) as potential reasons for your reticence.

But no the popular answer is "ugh, it doesn't go with my forename" like it was some sort of fashion accessory?

Spas the lot of ye concerned. Ya might as get back in the kitchen and wait for your perfect man “Mr. Bint” to appear in your life. I strongly encourage you to take his name btw.

(Oh and as an addition, all of the above applies also to anyone who said they would take the name because it would be an improvement on their own name. You're just as bad, if not worse.)

ztoical

Double Barrell

Pigman II wrote: »

I was hoping the naysayer's to this question would cite women’s independence, social equality or the antiquated nature of marriage (among others) as potential reasons for your reticence.

But no the popular answer is "ugh, it doesn't go with my forename" like it was some sort of fashion accessory?

Spas the lot of ye concerned. Ya might as get back in the kitchen and wait for your perfect man “Mr. Bint” to appear in your life. I strongly encourage you to take his name btw.

O thank *beep* I thought I was on my own - cheers for being so fantasticly blunt about it - wish I had been.

panda100

Double Barrell

I would keep my own name and would want my children to have my name. Theres four girls in my family and only one boy and it annoys me that my dad thinks that only my brother can carry on the family name. I was born an o'Donovan and will die an O'Donovan!

Cant see myself getting married or having kids anyway tbh.

Lux23

Double Barrell

No way. Taking a man's name harks back to the days when marriage was nothing but a financial transaction. I would never get married in church either, it would have to be a civil ceremony or better still a civil partnership rather than a marriage if they ever come into legislation. But thats how I feel about it, I wouldn't look down on someone who wanted to take their husband's name.

watna

No

Yup, I'll take the other halfs name when we get married. I think it would make things easier for kids etc and you're going to get called Mrs (insert bfs surname here) a lot anyway. I'd be too lazy to keep two surnames so would just change everything over. I asked my bf about it before and he said he couldn't care less either way. It thought he would, but he says it doesn't bother him at all. My surname is actually nicer then his but that's not why you change it!

My mum uses her married name (my surname) only. She hated her maiden name and couldn't wait to change it! When my parents got married they were going to move to the states straight after so my mum had a new passport with her new surname in it. The priest took it off her and refused to give it back until after the ceremony, in case she preteneded to be married!

WindSock

No

Pigman II wrote: »

But no the popular answer is "ugh, it doesn't go with my forename" like it was some sort of fashion accessory?

Spas the lot of ye concerned. Ya might as get back in the kitchen and wait for your perfect man “Mr. Bint” to appear in your life. I strongly encourage you to take his name btw.

Off ye go now.

Oryx

No

Im married, I took my hbs name. I didnt see any good reason not to. If your name is tied to your career, that would be a reason but for me it was a non issue. I dont see it as losing my identity. Its just a name. One name on us as a couple and our kids does make life a lot simpler, for passports, schools, even for friends sending us invitations.
If youre not going to unite as a family under the one name, sure why not stay single?
And double barrells are so pretentious. What happens if your daughter with a double barrell name marries a guy with a double barrell name? Does she become Mrs Smith-Jones-Murphy-Ahern or something?

Lux23

Double Barrell

KtK wrote: »

Im married, I took my hbs name. I didnt see any good reason not to. If your name is tied to your career, that would be a reason but for me it was a non issue. I dont see it as losing my identity. Its just a name. One name on us as a couple and our kids does make life a lot simpler, for passports, schools, even for friends sending us invitations.
If youre not going to unite as a family under the one name, sure why not stay single?
And double barrells are so pretentious. What happens if your daughter with a double barrell name marries a guy with a double barrell name? Does she become Mrs Smith-Jones-Murphy-Ahern or something?

The portugese all have double barrell names and they have a very simple solution. They just take one name from their dad and one from their mum, its better then everything going down the male line like here.

I think I would prefer to stay single but legally there is no decent protection is your partner dies etc which makes marriage more attractive. Its the only think that makes marriage attractive to me.

LadyJ

If you are Ms Smith and you marry Mr Jones but don't take his name are you then Mrs. Smith? I've often wondered.

Cathmandooo

No

LadyJ wrote: »

If you are Ms Smith and you marry Mr Jones but don't take his name are you then Mrs. Smith? I've often wondered.

yeah I've wondered that too.

While single are you not Miss Smith, is Ms Smith, pronounced mizz, not mean you're married with your own name? I dunno, it's a ll a bit confusing!

LadyJ

Cathooo wrote: »

yeah I've wondered that too.

While single are you not Miss Smith, is Ms Smith, pronounced mizz, not mean you're married with your own name? I dunno, it's a ll a bit confusing!

Ms(mizz) is just used so that people don't know whether you're married or not.
AFAIK anyway. Men only have Mr so women have Ms to make it even.

rainbow kirby

Double Barrell

Not a chance in hell I'll take my future partner's name. It feels very outdated, and feels too much like submission for its own good.

WindSock

No

I suppose if you call your self Mrs Maidenname, people would automatically assume your husband would then be Mr Maidenname too. I wonder if there are many guys out there who take the womans name?

Also, do any of you use Ms? I do because it's easier to write and no-ones business about my marital status.

LadyJ

WindSock wrote: »

Also, do any of you use Ms? I do because it's easier to write and no-ones business about my marital status.

I always do. My mother always told me to use it from a very young age.
I'd almost be offended by Miss....Well not really but I don't like it.

watna

No

WindSock wrote: »

I suppose if you call your self Mrs Maidenname, people would automatically assume your husband would then be Mr Maidenname too. I wonder if there are many guys out there who take the womans name?

Also, do any of you use Ms? I do because it's easier to write and no-ones business about my marital status.

I'm actually not a fan of Ms, it makes me feel old ladyish and spinsterish, even though I'm neither!

I have heard of someone taking their wife's name. I think it's a friend of a friend. She was the last person in her family with her surname and sisn't want it to die out. Her husband had a few brothers so didn't mind taking her name. He was well trained anyway!

prospect

I feel sorry for children who are forced to take both parents names, also what happens further down the generations?

When John Murphy-Doyle Marries Jane Dunphy-Flynn?
Will they have a baby called Jack Murphy-Doyle-Dunphy-Flynn........

Lux23

Double Barrell

prospect wrote: »

I feel sorry for children who are forced to take both parents names, also what happens further down the generations?

When John Murphy-Doyle Marries Jane Dunphy-Flynn?
Will they have a baby called Jack Murphy-Doyle-Dunphy-Flynn........

I posted earlier about what people do in that situation.

I always stick with Miss but alot of older women complain when I use that because so many fought so hard to be able to use Ms. I suppose our generation hate to be tainted with the feminist stereotype of old which is sad because its moved on alot since the 70s. You can even shave your legs now.

ztoical

Double Barrell

WindSock wrote: »

I wonder if there are many guys out there who take the womans name?

There's an interesting thread on the PI forum about a guy freaking cus he found out his gf was going to propose to him. Would be interested to see a poll here on wither anyone woman here would considered doing that.

watna

No

ztoical wrote: »

There's an interesting thread on the PI forum about a guy freaking cus he found out his gf was going to propose to him. Would be interested to see a poll here on wither anyone woman here would considered doing that.

I would. My bf is extremely laid back. We know we'll more than likely get married one day. I just know he might not get around to it, even though he wants to! He'd probably like me to, now that I think about it!

Crumble Froo

No

haha, the seed has been planted

i duno, it's something me and my b/f have talked about... largely on the issue of visas. i wouldnt do it though. largely cos im chicken.

Jesus Wept

Double Barreled names are retarded.

Don't make your child sound like a law firm.


That is all.

WindSock

No

The-Rigger wrote: »

Double Barreled names are retarded.

Don't make your child sound like a law firm.


That is all.

Reminds me also of...

''Hi I'm from Corless, Corless and Sweeney''

Father Dougal " who are they? The Vacuum people?"

Jesus Wept

WindSock wrote: »

Reminds me also of...

''Hi I'm from Corless, Corless and Sweeney''

Father Dougal " who are they? The Vacuum people?"

Look, you're a lovely lovely girl but...