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Understanding Men + Women - Our Passions
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09-01-2008 06:03PM#1Hello Everyone
For a bit of fun, I think it would be nice to open up a dialogue between
us men and you women about what makes us and youz tick.
I'd like to invite all the other men lurking around the Ladies Lounge to
post up something in this thread that would help the women folk understand
us better. Seriously, post good stuff, favourite music, sport, drama, whatever,
that expresses the essence of being male.
This is why a lot of men love football. The goal is great, but more importantly,
the reaction of the fans, sharing a sense of belonging with
your brothers. It is very special to us.
Maybe the Ladies could post things they are passionate about, to help us understand you better.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1haEKF86Z0Comments
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I can only speak for me, not the whole of womenfolk.
Wimmins things I like would include getting silly on wine with a bunch of mates. Soppy music that makes you go all gooey. Ditto for soppy films. Its just nice to get emotional for no reason with no real life drama.
And visiting Ann Summers floats my boat too.
I really dont get the football thing, or how men can stand around looking at a car or an engine for an hour while saying very little. Whats that about?
And for me this is a biggy in the understanding women stakes. If a woman comes to you to talk about a problem she probably just wants you to Listen. Dont feel the need to Solve. 0 -
And for me this is a biggy in the understanding women stakes. If a woman comes to you to talk about a problem she probably just wants you to Listen. Dont feel the need to Solve.
My God, that is such an important thing for us men to know. It took me
years to figure it out. To talk about a problem, not to approach it like a
D.I.Y. project and make propose solutions. Just to talk it out.
A valuable lesson in understanding women.0 -
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And for me this is a biggy in the understanding women stakes. If a woman comes to you to talk about a problem she probably just wants you to Listen. Dont feel the need to Solve.
So, so true. I've had many girly discussions about this. All my friends bfs do it.
If I'd a crap day at work because they asked me to do ten million things that can't actually be done, sympathise, don't tell me to talk to my boss and come up with other solutions! If we want solutions, we'll ask what you think! What I want is to be given wine and told "there, there"!0 -
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This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Things that touch you...
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I love a good chickflick
I love Make Up - seriously I'm proud of my MAC collection!
I love heading out dancing - much better than sitting in a pub all night
I love singing along to music with the girls when getting ready to head out
I love taking ages to get ready for nights out on purpose, I could get ready in 20 mis, but wheres the fun in that?!!
I love being a girl, it rocks!:D0 -
I love a good chickflick
I love Make Up - seriously I'm proud of my MAC collection!
I love heading out dancing - much better than sitting in a pub all night
I love singing along to music with the girls when getting ready to head out
I love taking ages to get ready for nights out on purpose, I could get ready in 20 mis, but wheres the fun in that?!!
I love being a girl, it rocks!:D
From talking to the girls in work, getting ready in one of their houses with wine, music, make-up, gossip etc.
can sometimes be the best fun in a night out.
It's something us men don't have. We boast about how quick we can get ready.0 -
+1barneysplash wrote: »From talking to the girls in work, getting ready in one of their houses with wine, music, make-up, gossip etc.
can sometimes be the best fun in a night out.
Sometimes, it can be alright... Just all rushing around getting glammed up and having the banter with a few drinks and the anticipation of what's in the night ahead...Good times, my friend, good times 0 -
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barneysplash wrote: »Hello Everyone
For a bit of fun, I think it would be nice to open up a dialogue between
us men and you women about what makes us and youz tick.
I'd like to invite all the other men lurking around the Ladies Lounge to
post up something in this thread that would help the women folk understand
us better. Seriously, post good stuff, favourite music, sport, drama, whatever,
that expresses the essence of being male.
This is why a lot of men love football. The goal is great, but more importantly,
the reaction of the fans, sharing a sense of belonging with
your brothers. It is very special to us.
Maybe the Ladies could post things they are passionate about, to help us understand you better.
barney,
I am with you 100%. That day was one of the best days of my life.
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monkeyfudge wrote: »Football sucks... Where's the video of the monkeys doing funny sh*t? Thats what real men are into.
Especially for you...
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I'm not into football at all but am passionate about music (and film, literature etc). In my experience men in general are much more obsessive about their interests - it tends to go way beyond just being a hobby.
Women's interests (with exceptions obviously) I feel are usually more of a release or distraction (clubbing and shopping have been mentioned). I'm not saying women can't be passionate about things but men definitely seem to take it to a special level of nerdiness.
Note to women: when you feel your man is clamming up emotionally, being uncommunicative etc (which I'm sure you can relate to), try, in a round about way, to gain access to him via his interests & you might find he will open up more - you can then work whatever point you need to make/discuss into the conversation by way of metaphor etc
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. Its just nice to get emotional for no reason with no real life drama.
Kleenex at the ready...
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Here's one that will go a long way in understanding the modern Irish woman...
Any man who has not sat and watched this film with a bunch of women is missing a big piece of the puzzle that is La Famme 0 -
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barney,
I am with you 100%. That day was one of the best days of my life.
I'm all woman and THAT makes me tick (and cry, but let's face it plenty of men cried at it too)
I love football.
I love films, but not chick-flicks, I like thrillers.
I love travelling.
I love reading.0 -
Deleted User wrote: »I'm all woman and THAT makes me tick (and cry, but let's face it plenty of men cried at it too)
I love football.
I love films, but not chick-flicks, I like thrillers.
I love travelling.
I love reading.
Are you married? By the end of this thread you probably will be 0 -
The objective observer of course. The participant naturally colours their view based on subjective personal experience.
The observer only see the physical results of the participants interaction in the given situation and interpret that whatever way they choose the participant feels the emotion, makes the decisions, learns from the situation. Theres no such thing as an objective observer especially not one doing a study because their finding will always lean towards their own bias.You're still a product of your biology, psychology and your societies reaction to you as a person.
If anything I'm actually the product of the opposite of that or at least the biology and society part.I think you're talking about adolescent boys. Big difference. because it's not brought up as an issue in society.
It's not only adolesent boys, maybe as men get older they do it in different ways but they are still always looking for that validation from other men.They do however worry far more about how they look than men. In fact if you look at the general run of women's magazines, it is mostly about how to look younger, thinner and how to find get and keep a man. Throw in endless pictures of female celebs showing cellulite to make the readers feel better for having that extra portion of pizza the previous night. If an alien landed in the average newsagent they would make the assumption that men have more wide ranging tastes and interests and women were obsessed with diet, hair, relationships and celebs.
But I never denied that, my original post was about where it starts in childhood, I even said "I agree that as females get older there is more competition". Once a girl is happy in her life that competition becomes less important but men still constantly compete with each other, for men it's a lifetime thing.If you don't see that women have a harder time competing every time they walk out in public, you must be living under a rock. The very act of putting on makeup could be seen as competition in itself.
Make-up isn't used for competition, make-up is used for confidence. When a girl looks good she feels good. Girls wear make-up for themselves not for others but you'd need to have got ready with a few friends for a night out to understand it. For girls a big part of the night out is the getting ready part, you have a few drinks, have a laugh, chat, comment (in a good way)on each others make-up, clothes and at times the getting ready part is more enjoyable that the night out but there's no competition.Stop moving the goalposts. I never said they were. I just made the point that men are more represented in such things. Hardly unemotional automata.
But in all fairness most of the male representation is from time where men were seen as the superiour gender and women weren't taken seriously in those disciplines. Most art/poetry is pre 1900 when women wouldn't have been considered by a sponsor.Frankly that's árse. Do I and men I know get emotional? Yes. Do we flip over the slightest thing? Sometimes. Are we less perturbed by things that might upset many women? Mostly. Do we worry about looking weak to other men? Not after a certain age and maturity is reached and certainly not in front of friends. I've cried in front of friends. They've done likewise. Big deal. Just because you were repressing when you were "a spy in the ranks", doesn't mean all of us are closet emo's looking for an outlet for repressed emotions.
I don't understand the "Emo" remark
but I was never repressed, I've always known who I am and first "came out" at 4 and nothing anyone ever said changed that I've never repressed my emotions and was never controlled by them and frankly I think the fact that you needed to get personal when I was speaking in generals just proves how much what I said affected your ego.An important step in emotional maturity, is realising that opinions viewed through and coloured by the prism of personal experience is only half the story. Realising that others may have radically different reactions to the same stimuli is part way to the answer.
That's not inciteful, it actually means nothing and sounds like a really bad fortune cookie0 -
barneysplash wrote: »Are you married? By the end of this thread you probably will be
My boyfriend doesn't know how lucky he is having a woman who insisted on getting Sky Sports and Setanta into the house.:D
He does have to put up with my roaring at the TV though, not very ladylike.0 -
Deleted User wrote: »My boyfriend doesn't know how lucky he is having a woman who insisted on getting Sky Sports and Setanta into the house.:D
He does have to put up with my roaring at the TV though, not very ladylike.
Indeed LOL. I have to laugh because there's many a household where its banned! 0 -
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There is objective and there's objective and your gender bias will have an effect.The observer only see the physical results of the participants interaction in the given situation and interpret that whatever way they choose the participant feels the emotion, makes the decisions, learns from the situation. Theres no such thing as an objective observer especially not one doing a study because their finding will always lean towards their own bias.
No you're not. Unless you want to invoke some spiritual dimension to this.If anything I'm actually the product of the opposite of that or at least the biology and society part.
We'll agree to disagree but I have found entirely the opposite.It's not only adolesent boys, maybe as men get older they do it in different ways but they are still always looking for that validation from other men.
For people it's a lifetime thing and neither gender is immune, but women are as competitive as men, I would say they are more so in a social context.But I never denied that, my original post was about where it starts in childhood, I even said "I agree that as females get older there is more competition". Once a girl is happy in her life that competition becomes less important but men still constantly compete with each other, for men it's a lifetime thing.
You are having a laugh, you really are.Make-up isn't used for competition, make-up is used for confidence. When a girl looks good she feels good. Girls wear make-up for themselves not for others but you'd need to have got ready with a few friends for a night out to understand it. For girls a big part of the night out is the getting ready part, you have a few drinks, have a laugh, chat, comment (in a good way)on each others make-up, clothes and at times the getting ready part is more enjoyable that the night out but there's no competition.
There's a hell of a lot post 1900, in fact probably the bulk of it, that would be popular today and men still hold the bigger share. My point is simply that men have enough of a grasp of emotions to be going on with.But in all fairness most of the male representation is from time where men were seen as the superiour gender and women weren't taken seriously in those disciplines. Most art/poetry is pre 1900 when women wouldn't have been considered by a sponsor.
Overly emotional boy man constantly moaning about some perceived slight or other. Favours black clothes and floppy hair and manner. The word that best describes them is wan. Kinda like cureheads without the catchy music.:DI don't understand the "Emo" remark
Huh? I didn't get personal at all.That's entirely your perceptionbut I was never repressed, I've always known who I am and first "came out" at 4 and nothing anyone ever said changed that I've never repressed my emotions and was never controlled by them and frankly I think the fact that you needed to get personal when I was speaking in generals just proves how much what I said affected your ego.
It wasn't meant to be inciteful.That's not inciteful, it actually means nothing and sounds like a really bad fortune cookie
In any case this is OT so.Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.
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There is objective and there's objective and your gender bias will have an effect.
But I have no gender bias, I've lived as both genders and find female to be the easiest. It's not a bias it's a fact IMONo you're not. Unless you want to invoke some spiritual dimension to this.
Well I obviously don't give a sh*t about society's opinion of me and am totally changing the the biological to be the opposite so actually I amWe'll agree to disagree but I have found entirely the opposite.
Well men normally do find the opposite, it's like if a girl cries because she's misses a friend men see it as :rolleyes: BUT if a man cries because of something stupid like his team loses thats totally accetable, you all justify your waeknessess by saying "sure everyone does it"For people it's a lifetime thing and neither gender is immune, but women are as competitive as men.
Not at all, I never felt I need to compete with women the same way as I was made feel I should have to compete with men, I never tried because I didn't care but all men would ever do is try to take shots at my "male" ego but that never works if you don't have a male ego to start withI would say they are more so in a social context.
You are having a laugh, you really are.
No I'm not taking the piss, as I said men need the approval of other men to feel validated, it's actually quite gay really because no matter how big/strong/fast you all are you only brag to other men about it because all men want is the approval of other men. A girl can say "Look honey you don't have to prove anything to me" but a guy will still commit a stupid act just to prove he has nothing to prove. Men are mostly double entrandras.There's a hell of a lot post 1900, in fact probably the bulk of it, that would be popular today and men still hold the bigger share. My point is simply that men have enough of a grasp of emotions to be going on with.
Not really, Yeats wasn't "going on with it", Constable wasn't "going on with it", Shatespear wasn't "going on with it", most of their best work was after a period of dating and a break up and they used that as a conduite for the bulk of their workOverly emotional boy man constantly moaning about some perceived slight or other. Favours black clothes and floppy hair and manner. The word that best describes them is wan. Kinda like cureheads without the catchy music.:D Huh? I didn't get personal at all.That's entirely your perception.
Not really just my perception and I quote you "Just because you were repressing when you were "a spy in the ranks", doesn't mean all of us are closet emo's looking for an outlet for repressed emotions.", you did get personal.It wasn't meant to be inciteful..
Good because it wasn't even senseIn any case this is OT so.
You made it off topic, my original reply was on topic0 -
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