Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Understanding Men + Women - Our Passions

  • 09-01-2008 6:03pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭


    Hello Everyone

    For a bit of fun, I think it would be nice to open up a dialogue between
    us men and you women about what makes us and youz tick.

    I'd like to invite all the other men lurking around the Ladies Lounge to
    post up something in this thread that would help the women folk understand
    us better. Seriously, post good stuff, favourite music, sport, drama, whatever,
    that expresses the essence of being male.

    This is why a lot of men love football. The goal is great, but more importantly,
    the reaction of the fans, sharing a sense of belonging with
    your brothers. It is very special to us.







    Maybe the Ladies could post things they are passionate about, to help us understand you better. :)


«1

Comments

  • Subscribers Posts: 19,421 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    I can only speak for me, not the whole of womenfolk.
    Wimmins things I like would include getting silly on wine with a bunch of mates. Soppy music that makes you go all gooey. Ditto for soppy films. Its just nice to get emotional for no reason with no real life drama.
    And visiting Ann Summers floats my boat too.

    I really dont get the football thing, or how men can stand around looking at a car or an engine for an hour while saying very little. Whats that about?

    And for me this is a biggy in the understanding women stakes. If a woman comes to you to talk about a problem she probably just wants you to Listen. Dont feel the need to Solve. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭barneysplash


    KtK wrote: »

    And for me this is a biggy in the understanding women stakes. If a woman comes to you to talk about a problem she probably just wants you to Listen. Dont feel the need to Solve. :)


    My God, that is such an important thing for us men to know. It took me
    years to figure it out. To talk about a problem, not to approach it like a
    D.I.Y. project and make propose solutions. Just to talk it out.



    A valuable lesson in understanding women.


  • Subscribers Posts: 19,421 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    My God, that is such an important thing for us men to know. It took me
    years to figure it out. To talk about a problem, not to approach it like a
    D.I.Y. project and make propose solutions. Just to talk it out.



    A valuable lesson in understanding women.
    Well there now barney. Thats our contribution to world peace for today.:)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    KtK wrote: »
    And for me this is a biggy in the understanding women stakes. If a woman comes to you to talk about a problem she probably just wants you to Listen. Dont feel the need to Solve. :)

    So, so true. I've had many girly discussions about this. All my friends bfs do it.

    If I'd a crap day at work because they asked me to do ten million things that can't actually be done, sympathise, don't tell me to talk to my boss and come up with other solutions! If we want solutions, we'll ask what you think! What I want is to be given wine and told "there, there"!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭barneysplash


    KtK wrote: »
    Well there now barney. Thats our contribution to world peace for today.:)

    Yes indeed, sharing is caring. :D


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    I love soccer, as a female i wear my Man Utd shirt proudly
    I am a bit of a nerd
    I also love shopping
    I cry a lot when no one is watching
    I hate it when guys think because i am a female i am vulnerable = I AM NOT!
    It should always be ladies first; lads please its just plain etiquette.
    I hate it when guys say “I really like you, you are beautiful, smart, ambitious, but too much for me to handle” :mad: Not my fault that i am perfect really... or is it?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭barneysplash


    This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Things that touch you...




  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    My God, that is such an important thing for us men to know. It took me
    years to figure it out. To talk about a problem, not to approach it like a
    D.I.Y. project and make propose solutions. Just to talk it out.



    A valuable lesson in understanding women.

    I read somewhere this happens because when a blokeybloke admits a problem to his peer group, its because he wants(needs?) help. When a lady does it, its because she needs an ear to listen.

    Thats why a manly mans instinct is to be proative and resolve the ish.

    EDIT: I took the word wimmin out of this cos last time I checked it people where requesting it be banned..?


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    MIN2511 wrote: »
    I hate it when guys think because i am a female i am vulnerable = I AM NOT!
    It should always be ladies first; lads please its just plain etiquette.

    So sexism is allowed when it is in your favour. Got it. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    SDooM wrote: »
    So sexism is allowed when it is in your favour. Got it. :)
    Very correct.... Even i would admit my double standards...:D


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,216 ✭✭✭✭monkeyfudge


    Football sucks... Where's the video of the monkeys doing funny sh*t? Thats what real men are into.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    Football sucks... Where's the video of the monkeys doing funny sh*t? Thats what real men are into.

    monkeyfudge... you are one hell of a bloke!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,660 ✭✭✭G86


    I love a good chickflick :)
    I love Make Up - seriously I'm proud of my MAC collection!
    I love heading out dancing - much better than sitting in a pub all night
    I love singing along to music with the girls when getting ready to head out
    I love taking ages to get ready for nights out on purpose, I could get ready in 20 mis, but wheres the fun in that?!!

    I love being a girl, it rocks!:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭barneysplash


    G86 wrote: »
    I love a good chickflick :)
    I love Make Up - seriously I'm proud of my MAC collection!
    I love heading out dancing - much better than sitting in a pub all night
    I love singing along to music with the girls when getting ready to head out
    I love taking ages to get ready for nights out on purpose, I could get ready in 20 mis, but wheres the fun in that?!!

    I love being a girl, it rocks!:D

    From talking to the girls in work, getting ready in one of their houses with wine, music, make-up, gossip etc.
    can sometimes be the best fun in a night out.

    It's something us men don't have. We boast about how quick we can get ready.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,421 ✭✭✭bluedolphin


    From talking to the girls in work, getting ready in one of their houses with wine, music, make-up, gossip etc.
    can sometimes be the best fun in a night out.
    +1 :D

    Sometimes, it can be alright... Just all rushing around getting glammed up and having the banter with a few drinks and the anticipation of what's in the night ahead...Good times, my friend, good times :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,660 ✭✭✭G86


    Yep it definitely is!! :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    I can answer this for you, now I'm not taking the piss seriously, I know because I went through it and it screwed with my head as a kid but it's conditioning, at about 4 years old boys and girls are seperated into a different social group, before that kids, no-matter the gender, are allowed to act as they wish, boy/girl isn't really an issue to them but when school starts it becomes different, boys are encouraged to take a more discipline direction in life where they are being taught to be tougher and hide their emotions(boys don't cry type thing), pushed into sport (they may enjoy it eventually but fathers can make their son participate in an activity and the child will do it just to please them at the start and at times the child will like it just because hey feel they have to), everything is controlled mainly by the father because there is the fear for fathers that without that control their child will "be gay". Girls on the other hand are given freedom to develope as they like, there are no ristrictions (barring manners etc) so never have that social awkwardness there is when you're a guy because a guy always has to be constantly aware of how he walks, how he talks, how he acts because if he isn't he'd be seen as lesser by other males around him who, ironically, are going through the same thing.

    I'm not saying this to put men down so don't get me wrong and I know that now-a-days it's not as bad, our generation is alot more openminded and less inclined to do that to our kids but that is what creates the difference. In essence men are brought up to repress their emotions whereas women are free to explore them and able to express them freely without the embarrassment a man would feel in the same situation. For me, being male was intensely repressive everything you say or do is picked up on and pointed out if it's not what other males consider "the norm".

    As much as I'm sure all the guys will disagree with me and this is just in my opinion from my experiences, in all that time as a male I was only putting on an act and so are most males. It's easy to be a girl, I didn't have to learn anything I just had to forget all the crap that was imposed on me as a child i.e. the strut, never cry, never admit a weakness, real men don't do this, real men don't do that etc to behave like a female is natural and easy to behave like a male involves alot of acting.

    Just my two cents as I said, from my point of view.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,290 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Wouldn't agree with that. Study after study has shown that male children interact differently to female children. They're less inclusive and more physical for a start. This is across different cultures. The idea that girls are freer to develop is naive. They have just as many strictures(of not more) imposed as boys. It's just that the female side appealed to you more, hence the comfort with that world. they are intrinsically no less different in stresses. Indeed it can be argued that women are far more socially competitive with each other than men are, especially after puberty hits.

    This idea that men hide their emotions is equally old hat. Who are the famous poets and artists throughout history that have elevated the expression of emotion to an artform? Oh yea, that would the people with the penises. All too often from a male point of view, women mistake sentiment for emotion. In any case I will gladly admit that I like the idea of saying goodbye to empty emotion and is sometimes very liberating to do so.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,890 ✭✭✭embee


    Hello Everyone

    For a bit of fun, I think it would be nice to open up a dialogue between
    us men and you women about what makes us and youz tick.

    I'd like to invite all the other men lurking around the Ladies Lounge to
    post up something in this thread that would help the women folk understand
    us better. Seriously, post good stuff, favourite music, sport, drama, whatever,
    that expresses the essence of being male.

    This is why a lot of men love football. The goal is great, but more importantly,
    the reaction of the fans, sharing a sense of belonging with
    your brothers. It is very special to us.







    Maybe the Ladies could post things they are passionate about, to help us understand you better. :)

    barney,

    I am with you 100%. That day was one of the best days of my life.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Football sucks... Where's the video of the monkeys doing funny sh*t? Thats what real men are into.


    Especially for you...



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47,365 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    G86 wrote: »
    I love Make Up - seriously I'm proud of my MAC collection!

    What has make-up got to do with your computer collection? :confused:

    autobench.jpg


    Collections are cool though, especially techy ones. ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 294 ✭✭Caveat


    I'm not into football at all but am passionate about music (and film, literature etc). In my experience men in general are much more obsessive about their interests - it tends to go way beyond just being a hobby.

    Women's interests (with exceptions obviously) I feel are usually more of a release or distraction (clubbing and shopping have been mentioned). I'm not saying women can't be passionate about things but men definitely seem to take it to a special level of nerdiness.

    Note to women: when you feel your man is clamming up emotionally, being uncommunicative etc (which I'm sure you can relate to), try, in a round about way, to gain access to him via his interests & you might find he will open up more - you can then work whatever point you need to make/discuss into the conversation by way of metaphor etc ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    Caveat wrote: »
    In my experience men in general are much more obsessive about their interests - it tends to go way beyond just being a hobby.

    nah. dont think i'd agree wtih that one at all.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,216 ✭✭✭✭monkeyfudge


    narco wrote: »
    nah. dont think i'd agree wtih that one at all.

    Ever seen a man make sweet love to his stamp collection? Well I have, and it ain't pretty!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    haha... nice... but still... you've seen me... you barely give a **** about music, and even when im deliberately trying to bear that in mind, you've been subjected to me rambling about it for long enough. then there's the boosh thing. then there's my love of irish history, which my poor b/f has the patience to endure listening to me rambling about.

    and i've bought aout 10 vhs tapes for shark week on national geographic next week.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    I'd love to contribute something with beautiful depth and passion that touches everyones heart. But I'm too lazy.

    I will say though, that a primarily difference between the sexes - in general - is that while men tend to enjoy keeping their own time and decisively split it between interests/friends/girlfriend, women tend to prefer to be a constant in their mans life...:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    haha, i think im just maybe not actually a woman. i disagree with waaaay too much people say here when they're talking about women.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 294 ✭✭Caveat


    narco wrote: »
    nah. dont think i'd agree wtih that one at all.

    ...I only said in general BTW ;)

    Are many of your women friends as obsessive about things as you are?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    i don't have a huge amoutn of female friends. but yes. oh christ yes.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭LostinBlanch


    Ever seen a man make sweet love to his stamp collection? Well I have, and it ain't pretty!

    Sounds like things could come to a sticky end :eek::rolleyes::D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 294 ✭✭Caveat


    narco wrote: »
    i don't have a huge amoutn of female friends

    Nothing wrong with that - but does that in itself not maybe suggest that your characteristics/traits/interests are not typically female?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    Caveat wrote: »
    Nothing wrong with that - but does that in itself not maybe suggest that your characteristics/traits/interests are not typically female?

    it could suggest that. doesnt necessarily mean that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Wouldn't agree with that. Study after study has shown that male children interact differently to female children. They're less inclusive and more physical for a start. This is across different cultures. The idea that girls are freer to develop is naive. They have just as many strictures(of not more) imposed as boys. It's just that the female side appealed to you more, hence the comfort with that world. they are intrinsically no less different in stresses. Indeed it can be argued that women are far more socially competitive with each other than men are, especially after puberty hits.


    You can cite study after study all you want but the thing is I've been on both sides of the fence and who do you think has a greater understanding of the dynamics of a given situation? the observer or the participant? It's nothing to do with what appeals to me, being female is easier, my ego is now controlled by me and not by societies perception of me. Contrary to what most girls think at least 90% of all male behaviour is not to impress females but to impress other males examples would be lying about penis size, lying about how old they were when they lost their virginity, over-exagerating feats performed (I caught a fish and it was <----this----> big) all conversations discussed with other men, men may disire the admiration of females but from my experience they crave the admiration of other men. I agree that as females get older there is more competition but my post was about where and when it starts in in childhood and besides male's are the more socially competitive, you never hear a girl lie about the size of her vagina do you?
    Wibbs wrote: »
    This idea that men hide their emotions is equally old hat. Who are the famous poets and artists throughout history that have elevated the expression of emotion to an artform? Oh yea, that would the people with the penises.

    There's female artists and poets too, Art and poetry are hardly feats that are exclusively male
    Wibbs wrote: »
    All too often from a male point of view, women mistake sentiment for emotion. In any case I will gladly admit that I like the idea of saying goodbye to empty emotion and is sometimes very liberating to do so.

    But that's the thing, men like to think that emotions are empty and they don't suffer from them like women do but they do, they just repress them which is again another action performed so as not to look weak to other males. Seriously I'm not trying to take potshots at men, this is just things I've observed while I was a spy in your ranks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    KtK wrote: »
    Its just nice to get emotional for no reason

    :confused:

    .....anyhow....


    It's always worth taking the advice of Homer Simpson.

    Homer's advice about women:

    'Don't give them any nicknames like Jumbo or Boxcar ... and always get receipt ... makes you look like a business guy.'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 92 ✭✭Crazy Catlady


    Someitmes we just want a hug and cuddle.
    Only sometimes tho :)


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭barneysplash


    KtK wrote: »
    . Its just nice to get emotional for no reason with no real life drama.
    :)


    Kleenex at the ready...



  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,290 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Kazobel wrote: »
    You can cite study after study all you want but the thing is I've been on both sides of the fence and who do you think has a greater understanding of the dynamics of a given situation? the observer or the participant?
    The objective observer of course. The participant naturally colours their view based on subjective personal experience.
    It's nothing to do with what appeals to me, being female is easier, my ego is now controlled by me and not by societies perception of me.
    You're still a product of your biology, psychology and your societies reaction to you as a person.
    Contrary to what most girls think at least 90% of all male behaviour is not to impress females but to impress other males examples would be lying about penis size, lying about how old they were when they lost their virginity, over-exagerating feats performed (I caught a fish and it was <----this----> big) all conversations discussed with other men, men may disire the admiration of females but from my experience they crave the admiration of other men.
    I think you're talking about adolescent boys. Big difference.
    I agree that as females get older there is more competition but my post was about where and when it starts in in childhood and besides male's are the more socially competitive, you never hear a girl lie about the size of her vagina do you?
    because it's not brought up as an issue in society. They do however worry far more about how they look than men. In fact if you look at the general run of women's magazines, it is mostly about how to look younger, thinner and how to find get and keep a man. Throw in endless pictures of female celebs showing cellulite to make the readers feel better for having that extra portion of pizza the previous night. If an alien landed in the average newsagent they would make the assumption that men have more wide ranging tastes and interests and women were obsessed with diet, hair, relationships and celebs.

    If you don't see that women have a harder time competing every time they walk out in public, you must be living under a rock. The very act of putting on makeup could be seen as competition in itself.


    There's female artists and poets too, Art and poetry are hardly feats that are exclusively male
    Stop moving the goalposts. I never said they were. I just made the point that men are more represented in such things. Hardly unemotional automata.

    But that's the thing, men like to think that emotions are empty and they don't suffer from them like women do but they do, they just repress them which is again another action performed so as not to look weak to other males. Seriously I'm not trying to take potshots at men, this is just things I've observed while I was a spy in your ranks.
    Frankly that's árse. Do I and men I know get emotional? Yes. Do we flip over the slightest thing? Sometimes. Are we less perturbed by things that might upset many women? Mostly. Do we worry about looking weak to other men? Not after a certain age and maturity is reached and certainly not in front of friends. I've cried in front of friends. They've done likewise. Big deal. Just because you were repressing when you were "a spy in the ranks", doesn't mean all of us are closet emo's looking for an outlet for repressed emotions.

    An important step in emotional maturity, is realising that opinions viewed through and coloured by the prism of personal experience is only half the story. Realising that others may have radically different reactions to the same stimuli is part way to the answer.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    Football sucks... Where's the video of the monkeys doing funny sh*t? Thats what real men are into.

    +1 to the funkymudge. Football bores me. All men have some kind of team comradship thing going with something though I think. for me its my band.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭barneysplash


    Here's one that will go a long way in understanding the modern Irish woman...






    Any man who has not sat and watched this film with a bunch of women is missing a big piece of the puzzle that is La Famme :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    A good example imo of guys and gals somtimes together having a bit o fun .The two blonde chicks bring a smile to my face .:)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anis4tQvYnw&feature=related


  • Advertisement
  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    embee wrote: »
    barney,

    I am with you 100%. That day was one of the best days of my life.



    I'm all woman and THAT makes me tick (and cry, but let's face it plenty of men cried at it too)

    I love football.
    I love films, but not chick-flicks, I like thrillers.
    I love travelling.
    I love reading.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭barneysplash


    I'm all woman and THAT makes me tick (and cry, but let's face it plenty of men cried at it too)

    I love football.
    I love films, but not chick-flicks, I like thrillers.
    I love travelling.
    I love reading.

    Are you married? By the end of this thread you probably will be :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    Wibbs wrote: »
    The objective observer of course. The participant naturally colours their view based on subjective personal experience.

    The observer only see the physical results of the participants interaction in the given situation and interpret that whatever way they choose the participant feels the emotion, makes the decisions, learns from the situation. Theres no such thing as an objective observer especially not one doing a study because their finding will always lean towards their own bias.
    Wibbs wrote: »
    You're still a product of your biology, psychology and your societies reaction to you as a person.

    If anything I'm actually the product of the opposite of that or at least the biology and society part.

    Wibbs wrote: »
    I think you're talking about adolescent boys. Big difference. because it's not brought up as an issue in society.

    It's not only adolesent boys, maybe as men get older they do it in different ways but they are still always looking for that validation from other men.
    Wibbs wrote: »
    They do however worry far more about how they look than men. In fact if you look at the general run of women's magazines, it is mostly about how to look younger, thinner and how to find get and keep a man. Throw in endless pictures of female celebs showing cellulite to make the readers feel better for having that extra portion of pizza the previous night. If an alien landed in the average newsagent they would make the assumption that men have more wide ranging tastes and interests and women were obsessed with diet, hair, relationships and celebs.

    But I never denied that, my original post was about where it starts in childhood, I even said "I agree that as females get older there is more competition". Once a girl is happy in her life that competition becomes less important but men still constantly compete with each other, for men it's a lifetime thing.

    Wibbs wrote: »
    If you don't see that women have a harder time competing every time they walk out in public, you must be living under a rock. The very act of putting on makeup could be seen as competition in itself.

    Make-up isn't used for competition, make-up is used for confidence. When a girl looks good she feels good. Girls wear make-up for themselves not for others but you'd need to have got ready with a few friends for a night out to understand it. For girls a big part of the night out is the getting ready part, you have a few drinks, have a laugh, chat, comment (in a good way)on each others make-up, clothes and at times the getting ready part is more enjoyable that the night out but there's no competition.
    Wibbs wrote: »
    Stop moving the goalposts. I never said they were. I just made the point that men are more represented in such things. Hardly unemotional automata.

    But in all fairness most of the male representation is from time where men were seen as the superiour gender and women weren't taken seriously in those disciplines. Most art/poetry is pre 1900 when women wouldn't have been considered by a sponsor.

    Wibbs wrote: »
    Frankly that's árse. Do I and men I know get emotional? Yes. Do we flip over the slightest thing? Sometimes. Are we less perturbed by things that might upset many women? Mostly. Do we worry about looking weak to other men? Not after a certain age and maturity is reached and certainly not in front of friends. I've cried in front of friends. They've done likewise. Big deal. Just because you were repressing when you were "a spy in the ranks", doesn't mean all of us are closet emo's looking for an outlet for repressed emotions.

    I don't understand the "Emo" remark :confused: but I was never repressed, I've always known who I am and first "came out" at 4 and nothing anyone ever said changed that I've never repressed my emotions and was never controlled by them and frankly I think the fact that you needed to get personal when I was speaking in generals just proves how much what I said affected your ego.

    Wibbs wrote: »
    An important step in emotional maturity, is realising that opinions viewed through and coloured by the prism of personal experience is only half the story. Realising that others may have radically different reactions to the same stimuli is part way to the answer.

    That's not inciteful, it actually means nothing and sounds like a really bad fortune cookie


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Are you married? By the end of this thread you probably will be :D

    My boyfriend doesn't know how lucky he is having a woman who insisted on getting Sky Sports and Setanta into the house. :D:D

    He does have to put up with my roaring at the TV though, not very ladylike.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,123 ✭✭✭stepbar


    My boyfriend doesn't know how lucky he is having a woman who insisted on getting Sky Sports and Setanta into the house. :D:D

    He does have to put up with my roaring at the TV though, not very ladylike.

    Indeed :D LOL. I have to laugh because there's many a household where its banned!


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,290 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Kazobel wrote: »
    The observer only see the physical results of the participants interaction in the given situation and interpret that whatever way they choose the participant feels the emotion, makes the decisions, learns from the situation. Theres no such thing as an objective observer especially not one doing a study because their finding will always lean towards their own bias.
    There is objective and there's objective and your gender bias will have an effect.


    If anything I'm actually the product of the opposite of that or at least the biology and society part.
    No you're not. Unless you want to invoke some spiritual dimension to this.



    It's not only adolesent boys, maybe as men get older they do it in different ways but they are still always looking for that validation from other men.
    We'll agree to disagree but I have found entirely the opposite.

    But I never denied that, my original post was about where it starts in childhood, I even said "I agree that as females get older there is more competition". Once a girl is happy in her life that competition becomes less important but men still constantly compete with each other, for men it's a lifetime thing.
    For people it's a lifetime thing and neither gender is immune, but women are as competitive as men, I would say they are more so in a social context.
    Make-up isn't used for competition, make-up is used for confidence. When a girl looks good she feels good. Girls wear make-up for themselves not for others but you'd need to have got ready with a few friends for a night out to understand it. For girls a big part of the night out is the getting ready part, you have a few drinks, have a laugh, chat, comment (in a good way)on each others make-up, clothes and at times the getting ready part is more enjoyable that the night out but there's no competition.
    You are having a laugh, you really are.


    But in all fairness most of the male representation is from time where men were seen as the superiour gender and women weren't taken seriously in those disciplines. Most art/poetry is pre 1900 when women wouldn't have been considered by a sponsor.
    There's a hell of a lot post 1900, in fact probably the bulk of it, that would be popular today and men still hold the bigger share. My point is simply that men have enough of a grasp of emotions to be going on with.


    I don't understand the "Emo" remark :confused:
    Overly emotional boy man constantly moaning about some perceived slight or other. Favours black clothes and floppy hair and manner. The word that best describes them is wan. Kinda like cureheads without the catchy music.:D
    but I was never repressed, I've always known who I am and first "came out" at 4 and nothing anyone ever said changed that I've never repressed my emotions and was never controlled by them and frankly I think the fact that you needed to get personal when I was speaking in generals just proves how much what I said affected your ego.
    Huh? I didn't get personal at all.That's entirely your perception

    That's not inciteful, it actually means nothing and sounds like a really bad fortune cookie
    It wasn't meant to be inciteful.:confused:

    In any case this is OT so.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,794 ✭✭✭JC 2K3


    Kazobel wrote: »
    As much as I'm sure all the guys will disagree with me and this is just in my opinion from my experiences, in all that time as a male I was only putting on an act and so are most males. It's easy to be a girl, I didn't have to learn anything I just had to forget all the crap that was imposed on me as a child i.e. the strut, never cry, never admit a weakness, real men don't do this, real men don't do that etc to behave like a female is natural and easy to behave like a male involves alot of acting.
    Yes, I will disagree with you. Personally, I was never taught to strut, not cry, not admit weakness and I have never, ever had any action of mine questioned by comparing it to how a "real man" would act.

    I'm sorry you had such an upbringing, but it doesn't mean all men are/were brought up like this.
    Kazobel wrote: »
    You can cite study after study all you want but the thing is I've been on both sides of the fence and who do you think has a greater understanding of the dynamics of a given situation?
    You haven't been on both sides of the fence. You've only been brought up as one gender - male. Having felt you were female for most of your life, you're obviously going to be biased as to which gender you prefer being and therefore being female is obviously going to seem better and easier to you.
    Kazobel wrote: »
    my ego is now controlled by me and not by societies perception of me.
    As is mine, what's your point?
    Kazobel wrote: »
    men may disire the admiration of females but from my experience they crave the admiration of other men.
    People crave the admiration of people, it's human nature. If you seriously think that females don't crave the admiration of other females, then you're quite deluded.
    Kazobel wrote: »
    But that's the thing, men like to think that emotions are empty and they don't suffer from them like women do but they do, they just repress them which is again another action performed so as not to look weak to other males.
    I certainly don't repress my emotions. What century are you living in?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    Wibbs wrote: »
    There is objective and there's objective and your gender bias will have an effect.

    But I have no gender bias, I've lived as both genders and find female to be the easiest. It's not a bias it's a fact IMO

    Wibbs wrote: »
    No you're not. Unless you want to invoke some spiritual dimension to this.

    Well I obviously don't give a sh*t about society's opinion of me and am totally changing the the biological to be the opposite so actually I am
    Wibbs wrote: »
    We'll agree to disagree but I have found entirely the opposite.

    Well men normally do find the opposite, it's like if a girl cries because she's misses a friend men see it as :rolleyes: BUT if a man cries because of something stupid like his team loses thats totally accetable, you all justify your waeknessess by saying "sure everyone does it"

    Wibbs wrote: »
    For people it's a lifetime thing and neither gender is immune, but women are as competitive as men.

    Not at all, I never felt I need to compete with women the same way as I was made feel I should have to compete with men, I never tried because I didn't care but all men would ever do is try to take shots at my "male" ego but that never works if you don't have a male ego to start with
    Wibbs wrote: »
    I would say they are more so in a social context.
    You are having a laugh, you really are.

    No I'm not taking the piss, as I said men need the approval of other men to feel validated, it's actually quite gay really because no matter how big/strong/fast you all are you only brag to other men about it because all men want is the approval of other men. A girl can say "Look honey you don't have to prove anything to me" but a guy will still commit a stupid act just to prove he has nothing to prove. Men are mostly double entrandras.
    Wibbs wrote: »
    There's a hell of a lot post 1900, in fact probably the bulk of it, that would be popular today and men still hold the bigger share. My point is simply that men have enough of a grasp of emotions to be going on with.

    Not really, Yeats wasn't "going on with it", Constable wasn't "going on with it", Shatespear wasn't "going on with it", most of their best work was after a period of dating and a break up and they used that as a conduite for the bulk of their work

    Wibbs wrote: »
    Overly emotional boy man constantly moaning about some perceived slight or other. Favours black clothes and floppy hair and manner. The word that best describes them is wan. Kinda like cureheads without the catchy music.:D Huh? I didn't get personal at all.That's entirely your perception.

    Not really just my perception and I quote you "Just because you were repressing when you were "a spy in the ranks", doesn't mean all of us are closet emo's looking for an outlet for repressed emotions.", you did get personal.

    Wibbs wrote: »
    It wasn't meant to be inciteful.:confused:.

    Good because it wasn't even sense
    Wibbs wrote: »
    In any case this is OT so.

    You made it off topic, my original reply was on topic


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,794 ✭✭✭JC 2K3


    Kazobel, you have a seriously distorted perception as to how you think men operate. You are also guilty of some of the most infuriating generalising and stereotyping I have witnessed in a long time.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    JC 2K3 wrote: »
    Kazobel, you have a seriously distorted perception as to how you think men operate. You are also guilty of some of the most infuriating generalising and stereotyping I have witnessed in a long time.


    But it's not generalising or stereotyping, I've been there and know how it works and I don't "think" of how men operate I know how men operate, you like to pretend it's different but the truth is it's not.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement