Bathroom Etiquette

Quality

Hey girls

This conversation came up with a few of my mates and we found it quite amusing, so thought I would see your opinions on this.

Anyhow it is about Number 2's in work, The majority of my friends will not do their number 2's in work.

One of the girls even drives home during work to go if she is in a bad way.

Also would you sit on a public toilet or hover or spend half an hour covering it with toilet roll...

Cathmandooo

I'd do number 2's in work, but its a small office and I'm usually the only one using that bathroom.

Out of my girls I'm in a minority in that I sit on a public toilet after giving it a wipe. The others hover or cover the thing in toilet paper :rolleyes: I don't see the point *touches wood*

watna

Of coures you should do your number twos in work. That way you're getting paid for it, and saving having to buy more toilet papaer at home!!

Oryx

What a funny topic. Driving home to poop. Lollers.

Why would you have a problem doing ones or twos or anything in a work loo? Its not as if its on CCTV. Or is it?!

The only issue I could see is forgetting to check if the loo roll has run out before you begin.

FlutterinBantam

I don't believe this!!

A perfectly normal function which all of us have to do, has become an issue!!.

You sit on the pot,apply pressure,clear the pipes,clean the rusty sheriffs badge,up with the cacks,drop the skirt,wash the hands.

What the fcuk is so difficult with that???

Jules

Bant... behave... a lot of people don't poo in public loos or in work or whatever. I personally hover, dont wipe the seat or touch it in anyway!

Crumble Froo

o_O

you people are kidding... right?


whatever about hovering (surely you can just put some roll on the seat?), but actually not going?!

****ing hell.

whiskeyman

Jules wrote: »

Bant... behave... a lot of people don't poo in public loos or in work or whatever.

What do these people do on holiday?

'sorry love, just catching a flight back home because I need to drop the kids off'.

Pigletlover

Only if it's an emergency and I know my boss won't be back any time soon to let me go on break. I usually try to hold it until lunchtime. I'll NEVER go in a public toilet, like in a pub or restaurant, I'm afraid of someone coming in while I'm going If I have to wee in a public toilet I hover and give a little wipe afterwards or if it's a long one I've been holding all day I cover the seat with toilet paper.

Papillon87

I'm quite (ok, very) OCD about toilet usage! Unless I'm at home I won't sit on the toilet. Not a friend's house, not at work ,CERTAINLY not at college (have u seen them?!?! ....shudder) I hover for a number one. If I really have to do a number 2 (and believe me, have gone to extraordinary lengths to prevent this happening haha) and I'm not at home, many, many layers of toilet roll precisely and expertly applied to the seat. Still would never do it in college though, gross. Not nice toilets!

Crumble Froo

ok, wtf. i cant let this one go. i have to ask. why? is it the germs? someone walking in? nervousness in a 'public' place that you just can't go? why?

when did it start? have you never used the public jacks? what would it take for you to relent and just go? when did you start this?
i really really do not understand this,and maybe this is just my bad mood coming out in pigheadedness here, but i do actually feel somewhat disgusted.

Pj!

Haha, funny topic. I prefer crapping at home to be fair, but of course us men can piss anywhere (beside a bus on the side of the road being a popular place) so no probs there.
But yeah, I will crap anywhere really, but I do prefer crapping at home.
I also prefer to crap when there is no-one else at home so you're guaranteed no interruptions and you can read the 'Dear Deirdre' page of the Sun in peace.

Oryx

Its not something I really understand either. I dont see how you can have issues using a public loo, but yet youll let restaraunt staff prepare your food.:) They probably sat on a public bog, and did they wash their hands afterwards??


If a loo is filthy I can see a problem but a friends house? Seriously?
The only other thing thats horrible in a public loo is splashback, lol.

jester77

lol, what a funny topic! Is it the germs people are afraid of or why don't they want to touch the seat? You know there is probably more germs on the door handle on the way out of the toilet than there are on the actual toilet seat!

Oryx

jester77 wrote: »

lol, what a funny topic! Is it the germs people are afraid of or why don't they want to touch the seat? You know there is probably more germs on the door handle on the way out of the toilet than there are on the actual toilet seat!

I can see this turning into a freak out thread. Did you know how many germs are on the average toothbrush, etc.....:)

Papillon87

Haha, ah don't be too hard on me! Well I've always had a bit of OCD regarding other things (not going into them but over most of them now, sometimes they flare up if I'm down or stressed). Of course I'd use a public toilet. Just, most of them are so dirty. To be honest I'm not a germophobic or anything, it's just something I've always done since I was young.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Pffth, girls don't poop :rolleyes:

undecided

lol :):):):):)

Glad I'm not alone thought I was odd!:)

Will use a public loo but not if really busy and a Q! If doing a wee will put loo roll down first ( so nobody can hear) and hover. Under no circimstances would I do a no.2 anywhere but at home.

Remember saying this to a friend once and she thought I was mad!

TerrorFirmer

Dear god...hovering? How does that work the morning after a few drinks? :eek:

Crumble Froo

head hovers over bowl.


simple really.

monkeyfudge

I tend to give the seat a good wipe and put a layer of paper around it...

This is mainly down to the fact that there are no urinals in the mens toilets in work, and there are also no lights.. so when it gets dark they tend to end up with lot of piss on them.

They're bloody freezing cold this time of year too.

Cathmandooo

monkeyfudge wrote: »

I tend to give the seat a good wipe and put a layer of paper around it...

This is mainly down to the fact that there are no urinals in the mens toilets in work, and there are also no lights.. so when it gets dark they tend to end up with lot of piss on them.

They're bloody freezing cold this time of year too.

Niiiice



to those who refuse to do number 2 anywhere but home, I take it ye haven't gone to any weekend music festivals?? The portaloos in those places I do hover over of course, they would be where I toe the line! ew!

Crumble Froo

ha, just make sure you've brought your own jacks roll

How Strange

what a load of crap (pun intended)

I don't know what anyone else is like but when I have go I really have to go, there is no dilly dallying.

I think this is some victorian sensibility gone crazy. Not going can make you ill or at the very least constipated.

I have many hangups about toilets but it would rarely stop me using one. And yes, I sit. :eek:

I give the seat a good aul wipe. If you think about things like this too much you would develop anxieties about everything - did the guy serving the food wash his hands etc etc etc

Cathmandooo

How Strange wrote: »

what a load of crap (pun intended)

I don't know what anyone else is like but when I have go I really have to go, there is no dilly dallying.

I think this is some victorian sensibility gone crazy. Not going can make you ill or at the very least constipated.

I have many hangups about toilets but it would rarely stop me using one. And yes, I sit. :eek:

I give the seat a good aul wipe. If you think about things like this too much you would develop anxieties about everything - did the guy serving the food wash his hands etc etc etc

exactly, and remember the ad that says your childs highchair table top has a gazillion more germs than your toilet seat? :eek: there's no escaping them, germs are good for us. Learn to love the germs!

jester77

Cathooo wrote: »

exactly, and remember the ad that says your childs highchair table top has a gazillion more germs than your toilet seat? :eek: there's no escaping them, germs are good for us. Learn to love the germs!

So true. Haven't they proved that there are more germs on a keyboard than nearly any other item in the home/office yet people have no problem picking up their sandwich and taking a bite out of it between writing posts on boards!

gubbie

Wow some people are so OTT!
What a complete waste of time and paper.
After seeing the awful excuses for toilets in China (if you think McDonalds toilets here are bad!) I've never had a problem with sitting on a toilet here. Anyway you can't hover, its sore on the legs. Girls squat and thats only in the middle of fields

Hovers are selfish fluppers.I'm sorry but your the people who make the toilets dirty in the first place!
My only consolation when I look at piddle on the toilet seat, is that the perpetrator will eventually give themselves a well deserved UTI from not emptying their bladders properly.

Lockstep

I don't see the problem here.

Pooping is a completely natural bodily function.
I don't see why people are so worried that they go hunky-dory.

I knew one girl who did her business in the corner of the cubicle as she was too scared to use the bowl.

Although in the Gaelthuct, our Bean an Ti had a great toilet for herself and a crappy one with no seat for us. We had to do squats over the damn thing or risk falling in, it was so huge.


Seriously folks, why get in a tizzy over this? I don't.
I took the greatest of pleasure in doing my business at work in full knowledge that I was doing a dump on their time. Serves them right for being an evil-multi-national corporation who wanted my soul

cast_iron

This came up the other day actually. A work colleague (male) of mine was doing the business in a unisex toilet with 2 cubicles beside each other (a somewhat odd setup).

He remarked to us all after how a woman came in, dropped the kiddies, and not a bother on her that the other cublicle was obviously occupied by someone.

Of course, he waited to see who it was, and now we all think of it whenever we see her.

Fremen

Two words for you, my friends:
Disabled. Toilets.

Nice and spacious, and almost always guaranteed to be clean and well-stocked.

Having said that, I do know someone who used to have sex with his girlfriend all the time in the disabled toilets in McDonalds in Ranelagh when it was still open, so I suppose they have their downsides too.

ztoical

Have never had an issue with using the loo anywhere, really suprised by the numbers on here who have. Had to use a squat toilet when I was in Kosovo, given a choice I wouldn't use one of them again, but other then that woudn't be bothered at all.

MarkR

kickoutthejams wrote: »

I knew one girl who did her business in the corner of the cubicle as she was too scared to use the bowl.

I'm sorry, but have I misread that? She pissed and / or shat on the floor rather then sit on the bowl? :eek:

Hagar

What's all this hovering? Are there vacuum cleaners in every ladies toilet?
Women are strange.;)

jester77

Hagar wrote: »

What's all this hovering? Are there vacuum cleaners in every ladies toilet?
Women are strange.;)

Indeed they are. I think they are referring to where they squat over the toilets, great exercise for the legs. Now we know why they all have such big thighs

Cathmandooo

MarkR wrote: »

I'm sorry, but have I misread that? She pissed and / or shat on the floor rather then sit on the bowl? :eek:

Exactly! I was a bit shocked by that statement too

paul_ire57

Hehehe this is hilarious!!

Are the girls going to be discussing this at the beer night out? Any earwiggers should get a good laugh

Perhaps you should advise the place ahead of time to stock more loo roll just in case the seats need to be padded a few times during the night

Lockstep

MarkR wrote: »

I'm sorry, but have I misread that? She pissed and / or shat on the floor rather then sit on the bowl? :eek:

No you read it right.

She did a dump on the cubicle floor in secondary school as she was paranoid about germs.


There was also a girl in primary who found the girls toilet occupied so went into the guys and did a poo on the urinal.

Cathmandooo

kickoutthejams wrote: »

No you read it right.

She did a dump on the cubicle floor in secondary school as she was paranoid about germs.


There was also a girl in primary who found the girls toilet occupied so went into the guys and did a poo on the urinal.

Oh my god, that's classy, very very classy

RAFC

this is so true, guys take note please...



When you need to visit a public loo there is invariably a line of women waiting, you smile politely and take your place in the line, it finally gets to your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors.

Every cubicle is occupied.

But eventually a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the cubicle.

You get in to find the door won’t lock. It doesn’t matter, the wait has been so long and you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the door hook if there was one, but there isn’t so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, yank down your pants and assume "the position".

In this position your ageing, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You would love to sit down, but you certainly hadn’t taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "the position".

To take your mind off your trembling thighs for a moment you reach for the toilet paper dispenser and your worst nightmare it’s empty, the toilet roll dispenser is empty. You hover looking around in the hope there's a new roll behind you no such luck. Your thighs start to shake more. Then you remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday the one that’s still in your handbag, which is now burning your neck & shoulders with the weight. So you contort your arm into a very unnatural position and start to fumble around in the deep dark depths of your handbag for that small crumpled used tissue no bigger than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your cubicle door and because the latch doesn't work the door hits your head, which is bent forward from you holding your bag around your neck while you are rummaging for that used tissue, the door takes you by surprise and you start to lose your balance and topple backwards. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach to push the door shut and drop the precious, tiny, crumpled tissue you had only just managed to retrieve with your index finger into an 'unknown' puddle on the floor.

If that isn't enough you lose your balance altogether, or just give up and... sit down ... directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

Yes - it's wet! You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.

Your thighs and bottom have made contact with every imaginable germ & life form that lives on the uncovered seat.

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of cold water like a fire hose into the bowl which causes a spray of fine mist that completely covers your bum and runs downs your legs along with all the various life forms and down into your dishevelled pants which have now dropped to your ankles with your hems soaking up that puddle from the floor.

The flush seems to suck everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe your self with a piece of gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You cannot figure out how to operate the tap, so run your hands underneath it grateful for the two drops of water there and around the basin itself. You go to the towel dispenser past the line of women still waiting, where of course there are no paper towels so you more onto the hand blower, which yes you've guessed it that doesn't work either!

You're no longer able to smile politely to the women, but there's an unspoken understanding between you all.

A kind soul at the very end of the line of women points out that you have a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. Where was that when you NEEDED IT??? You yank the paper from your shoe, plonk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this".

As you exit you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your handbag hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public loos. It also helps explain to the men why it really does take us women so long and it also answers that commonly asked question why do women always go to the loos in pairs?

It's so your friend can hold the door, hang onto your bag and pass you tissue under the door!

Cathmandooo

Aw thanks for that RAFC, I had to stop reading that halfway through cos I was pissing myself laughing in work (excuse the pun) gold post!

Hagar

Brilliant post.

Eusto

Quality wrote: »

One of the girls even drives home during work to go if she is in a bad way.

...

"****break" in American Pie.

I don't think eastern european women hover......I was amazed that even at 5 am 4 hours after the toilet paper ran out, the toilet in the nightclub wouldn't be covered in piss or vomit.

ztoical

Moonbaby wrote: »

I don't think eastern european women hover.

depends what part of eastern europe you mean - alot of them would be use to squat toilets.

They defitely didn't have them where I was....I don't think I could cope with one of those!

Shurwhynot

Funny thread from the beginning of 2008!

Pyr0

I always find putting toilet paper into the bowl to cover up the splash is the best way to go, all the hear is a feint thud instead of an explosion of water. I've taken way more sh1ts in work than I have at home since I've started full time !

stovelid

The posts here all clearly fictitious, as we all know that ladies don't ever fart or do number 2s.

Piste

I hate when people hover, they just pee all over the seat then! And it's so weird the way people have these weird hang ups about germs getting on their bum, I mean you're hardly going to be preparing food with your ass and I'm sure you'll be having a shower eventually in the next day or two.

newmills

Girls,

Just be like the guy in austin powers. Hold on to your knees and let fly - we're going to get through this!!
Seriously there is nothing better than "tipping the cart" be it in public toilets or at home. Seeing as most of you complain about being too fat, surely the opportunity to shed a few pounds "au naturel" is like a gift from the lord himself!!:D