Social Anxiety disorder

RubyXI

Part of the problem is that i don't know what i'm afraid of. I mean it's illogical and i know it's illogical. I know there's no reason to be afraid to talk to people or afraid to eat in front of people or anything like that. But i am afraid. Not understanding is probably the hardest part.

Terry

Sounds like agorophobia to me.
The fear of fear.

Do you sometimes feel that if you go somewhere that you will start to panic?

RubyXI

I don't really panic. I never got a panic attack or anything. I just dont know what i'm afraid of. I don't have a problem going out on my own, like going for a walk or going to town or whatever. But i would have a problem with going to town with some-one. I wouldn't buy anything because i wouldn't want them to know what i like. Even though that's illogical because the will see me wearing it sometime anyway. I have a huge problem with people i know seeing me eat or drink. I'm ok in front of strangers. It doesn't even make sense to me.

Terry

Hmm. That's a new one to me. Although I'd imagine it's a lot more common than you think. People tend not to talk of these things for fear of being labelled by others.

You really do need to see a councillor. Knock it on the head before it gets worse.

Think of it like this. If you found a lump you would go and see a doctor in case it was cancer.
What you have is a mental illness and left untreated it will get worse.

You made the first step by posting about it here.
I urge you to go to your GP and get a referral.

Gallardo

Hey, I've been suffering from SAD for my entire life and depression for probably most of it too. After seeing the list of symptoms of SAD and realising that they all applied to me I only found out the name of my condition 2 months ago. I tend to tremble alot when being looked at, my heart throbs heavily etc. and I can't seem to talk. I find it hard to make friends and it is extremely hard to talk to women. Bullying throughout school has made things very hard too. I am really shy and this seems to repel people, make some people laugh.
I find it hard to concentrate, am also fatiqued and find college so stressful and tough. I have only started making a breakthrough to try and defeat the problem once and for all 2 months ago by going to a counsellor in college, seeing a college gp and getting tablets(Lexapro), talking to tutor and going to aware meetings. I'd definately advice anyone to try use all the support they can get. I guess I'm lucky to have them and appreciate what they have done so far. I still get intensily depressed and nervous at times but overall am a bit better. I don't wish I never existed as much but still have such a long way to go. Anyone who wants to make a start I'd definately recommend talking about it 121 and then try and go to a group. I've confidence in them situations now. Does anyone have any further advice? Anyone with a similar story? I'd love to know if anyone can relate to all of this.
Cheers and good luck everyone

MUSEIST

Gallardo wrote: »

Hey, I've been suffering from SAD for my entire life and depression for probably most of it too. After seeing the list of symptoms of SAD and realising that they all applied to me I only found out the name of my condition 2 months ago. I tend to tremble alot when being looked at, my heart throbs heavily etc. and I can't seem to talk. I find it hard to make friends and it is extremely hard to talk to women. Bullying throughout school has made things very hard too. I am really shy and this seems to repel people, make some people laugh.
I find it hard to concentrate, am also fatiqued and find college so stressful and tough. I have only started making a breakthrough to try and defeat the problem once and for all 2 months ago by going to a counsellor in college, seeing a college gp and getting tablets(Lexapro), talking to tutor and going to aware meetings. I'd definately advice anyone to try use all the support they can get. I guess I'm lucky to have them and appreciate what they have done so far. I still get intensily depressed and nervous at times but overall am a bit better. I don't wish I never existed as much but still have such a long way to go. Anyone who wants to make a start I'd definately recommend talking about it 121 and then try and go to a group. I've confidence in them situations now. Does anyone have any further advice? Anyone with a similar story? I'd love to know if anyone can relate to all of this.
Cheers and good luck everyone

Exactly the same man - been like this all my life ,21 now and in college but I am a mess in social situations. Was seriously thinking of going to a councelor in college but never really convinced myself to go. You say you got given tablets. Do they work for you and did you just tell the gp you had SAD straight out because I always wondered would they even know what it is.

Fatloss08

im the same and i find this site good

lots of help and people in same situations

www.nomorepanic.co.uk

Gallardo

Hey guys, its great having this place to talk about our problems.
MUSEIST Id say it would help you alot to find support in college. Its incredible the way they have free services for us and you won't be judged. I'm 20 and I only started getting help recently. I don't know where I would be without it. Ive felt like ending it all alot of the time but am starting to make some progress. I think the tablets are starting to work too. I know its really scary to seek help but trust me it will make you feel alot better about yourself. Being able to talk about your problems openly is good because it builds up your communication skills which is great for any future relationships etc(unfortunately SAD has stopped me from being in any relationships yet but I hope to change that and meet someone special). Oh yea, aware is also free and that is brilliant help. They just ask you to donate 1 euro for a collection at the end which is the best value for money in the world lol.
I find it alot easier to talk about my problems now to all these supports, if only talking to women was as easy though lol.
Best of look, once we can get rid of SAD and depression we can live our lives to the full Hope this helps anyone else reading this.

Fatloss08

Gallardo wrote: »

Hey guys, its great having this place to talk about our problems.
MUSEIST Id say it would help you alot to find support in college. Its incredible the way they have free services for us and you won't be judged. I'm 20 and I only started getting help recently. I don't know where I would be without it. Ive felt like ending it all alot of the time but am starting to make some progress. I think the tablets are starting to work too. I know its really scary to seek help but trust me it will make you feel alot better about yourself. Being able to talk about your problems openly is good because it builds up your communication skills which is great for any future relationships etc(unfortunately SAD has stopped me from being in any relationships yet but I hope to change that and meet someone special). Oh yea, aware is also free and that is brilliant help. They just ask you to donate 1 euro for a collection at the end which is the best value for money in the world lol.
I find it alot easier to talk about my problems now to all these supports, if only talking to women was as easy though lol.
Best of look, once we can get rid of SAD and depression we can live our lives to the full Hope this helps anyone else reading this.

dude i have it 11 years and sort of feel it now in work

but nothing is ever that bad ok , always help about , most important thing to remember is , no matter how bad u feel in work or college or whatever it will never harm you or hurt you , u think of it and u give it strenght to annoy you , its a pest but thats all , its a learnt behaviour , now we need to slowly un-learn it with new positive habits

LegacyUser

I seem to be suffering from the same problem! It definitely seems to be getting worse every year. At first I thought when i go to secondary school it will all go away! Nope! Then I though when I go to college i'l come out of myself and it will all go away! How wrong could i have been! Im in my 3rd year of college now and am constantly feeling out of place! Not that I don't get on with anyone in my course but I just feel awkward around them and don't enjoy their company! As a 20 yr old lad I should be havin the craic with them all and be in the middle of them. Instead I see myself getting away asap. Its like I compare myself to them and then run myself down for not been funny and witty etc! Im very uptight in all social situations! It really gets me down, im even very quite and shy around my own family! I just want to be normal and enjoy social situations and be able to contribute like everybody else! Iv a great girlfriend whom im very comfortable around and she thinks the world of me! If only others could be that way! I really considering gettin help because I believe when I graduate this is also going to effect my ability to compete for jobs etc.! I wouldn be able to show any confidence or competence in interviews.

Anyone any suggestions

sorella

I was told I had this; plus anxiety, plus agoraphobia, etc etc etc.

Reading what you write makes me shudder; been there.... and was fully housebound for many years thus.

In fact I have M.E; which was misdiagnosed for 30 years.

Panic sets is when something is too much for us; with me this was because I was physically ill simply and being pushed to do beyond my strength. Blaming because they said I should be doing these things.

Eg CBT.

Now I simply tailor my doings to my illness; and that stops the panic.

My responsibility.

Many others have found that it is an underlying physical condtion, maybe undiagnosed, that is the cause. A friend's father eg; he was getting panic attacks and they were treating him for that.
I said to get a full physical; they finally found he had mild Parkinsons in its early staged; once treated no more panic.

We seem to have a fast track to psycholigising hard to spot physical ailments

We get bad SAD also, so I allow for this.

Please, leave no physiacl stone unturned.

cliffy300

Unregistered wrote: »

I seem to be suffering from the same problem! It definitely seems to be getting worse every year. At first I thought when i go to secondary school it will all go away! Nope! Then I though when I go to college i'l come out of myself and it will all go away! How wrong could i have been! Im in my 3rd year of college now and am constantly feeling out of place! Not that I don't get on with anyone in my course but I just feel awkward around them and don't enjoy their company! As a 20 yr old lad I should be havin the craic with them all and be in the middle of them. Instead I see myself getting away asap. Its like I compare myself to them and then run myself down for not been funny and witty etc! Im very uptight in all social situations! It really gets me down, im even very quite and shy around my own family! I just want to be normal and enjoy social situations and be able to contribute like everybody else! Iv a great girlfriend whom im very comfortable around and she thinks the world of me! If only others could be that way! I really considering gettin help because I believe when I graduate this is also going to effect my ability to compete for jobs etc.! I wouldn be able to show any confidence or competence in interviews.

Anyone any suggestions

I`ve much the same problem, only I`m 31. through school I kept saying I`m going to outgrow it but the college came and it only got worse. When I started workin after college it improved for a few years because I made some new friends who seemed to understand this and accepted me. However these friends have now moved elsewhere and it feels like I`m back to square one again.
Another incident that had a major impact on me was a relationship with a girl that lasted 6 months but ended 2 years ago. Because I`m so terribly shy I never had a relationship with a girl before only the odd one night stand. We work together and she asked me out. For that 6 months everything was great, I was never so happy, then things went a bit stale and I started having some of my darker moments again. We split up and at the time I thought it was for the best but within a week I realised i had made a terrible mistake.
Working together i have to see her every day, for a while we stayed good friends but she didnt want to go back with me again. Gradually though she moved further and further away from me until the inevitable happened and she met someone else. It is incredibly hard every day to see her now and not to be able to even talk to her. She actually hates me now and from being so close to me before she knows exactly what buttons to press to put me down.
Since xmas things have gotten worse, I dont go out anymore because when I do I end up getting very depressed. I have friends who are concerned but they don`t really understand. Its all well and good saying to get over her and move on but like I said before I have to work with her and cannot leave my job in this day and age.
I have discussed this with my GP but i don`t think he understands either. I have talked to some counsellors about it too but nothing seems to work. Has anybody else been in a similar situation and found a way through it?

LegacyUser

Has anyone tried hypnosis for social anxiety?

Have seen this guy advertised in the paper a bit... www.barrysinclair.com

Not sure if it's any good or if there's any success stories out there??

Happy Monday

Unreg01 wrote: »

Has anyone tried hypnosis for social anxiety?

Have seen this guy advertised in the paper a bit... www.barrysinclair.com

Not sure if it's any good or if there's any success stories out there??

May help in the short term - 1 to 2 weeks.
But the underlying negative thoughts will come back.
And you will be back to square 1.
You need to make overcoming this thing the centre of your life
My advice is to us the SAI course book and discs from Dr Richards.

Unreg01

Unreg01 wrote: »

Has anyone tried hypnosis for social anxiety?

Have seen this guy advertised in the paper a bit... www.barrysinclair.com

Not sure if it's any good or if there's any success stories out there??

Dunno who he is, but there may actually be something to that whole hypnotism lark.


A guy I know went to a hypnotist woman before about smoking. He's smoked his entire life, but after the meeting with her, never smoked again.


Obviously it's different for everyone, and personally, I'd have put hypnotism down to being a Disney thing, but there must be something to it. I'd say it is expensive though.

Whatsyourface

Hey i suffer... and i mean SUFFER from Social Anxiety myself...

I know someone who used hypnotherapy to quit smoking. He took ONE cigarette a while after that just for the sake of it and now he's back on them again. I'm afraid incase, say you have the hypnotherapy and someone says one comment to affect your confidence. Would that bring the social anxiety back? Im gonna try continual self hypnosis by the use of Paul McKennas books/mind-programming CD's and hope that works.
Heres a list of some of the material i have/am going to use:

Overcoming Social Anxiety by Dr. Thomas A. Richards:
This is a CBT series. 20 tapes/CD's and worksheets. You do one session each week. I started it but lacked motivation to keep it up. It involves a lot of commitment. The guys voice can be really boring.
Though that said, CBT is a great method and I've heard great reviews of this series!

Supreme Self-Confidence by Paul McKenna:
NLP. Neuro-Linguistic Programming. This man is a God it seems. Has a way of keeping you interested and I've faith in him. This is an E-book with two audio tracks, one is a few techniques you practice daily and the second is a hypnosis/relaxation track. The man makes a lot of sense and Im going to start using this method soon.

Instant Confidence by Paul McKenna:
A book and CD by Paul McKenna - I havent started this yet but its gotta be good. The CD is a hypnosis track and the book is packed full of techniques and some interesting points are made!

Change Your Life in 7 days by (yes, you guessed it..) Paul McKenna:
I dont know about the rest of the book but the first chapter is on Self-Image. So coupled with the CD its bound to make some positive changes!


Theres another book by Gillian Butler but i cant remember what its called. I suggest ye look it up though. Ive heard its good!

If anyone wants info on any forums/websites for SA sufferers PM me!
Also if anyone knows anything about NLP and using it for multiple things at once id love to be in contact!

konnod321

mod edit

we dont give medical advice here

tikkaman

phi3 wrote: »

i dont really want to mess thinks up with my bf, with this depression or whatever it is either.

MOD SNIP-PLEASE DONT OFFER A DIAGNOSIS ONLINE

i don't know how you managed to have a boyfriend with SA, as i've not had the confidence to ask any female out for years....

i started going to CBT theropy recently, it makes sense of everything thats going on in your head....

the first thing i though was jesus the ammount of people that have it...!!!!

i stumbled on this board by accident, but if ou wish to talk about things drop me a line...

tikkaman.

RubyXI

tikkaman wrote: »

i don't know how you managed to have a boyfriend with SA, as i've not had the confidence to ask any female out for years....

i started going to CBT theropy recently, it makes sense of everything thats going on in your head....

the first thing i though was jesus the ammount of people that have it...!!!!

i stumbled on this board by accident, but if ou wish to talk about things drop me a line...

tikkaman.

Hi,
i started this thread a while ago where all of us who feel the same can talk about it with other people who understand what we're going through. Feel free to join in:)

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055828992

Sabbathmc

It's funny how people are so open on virtual discussion forums but wouldn't talk to random people in real life.
Anyways I've been suffering from social anxiety disorder since I was quite young , I was probably born with it(damn you genetics), and recently Speech related anxiety. Also moderate depression because of it..

One thing I have come to learn is that my"illness"/"suffering is a huge part of who I am,Apart from trying out various treatments, cbt, meds the only thing I can do is ACCEPT what I have and try my best to live my life no matter how extreme it gets
Yes I'm quite strong minded, thank you
Not a lot of people know about my illness
new people just think Im shy/stuck up/highly strung lol
I say that now as if its nothing but it bothers the hell outta me.
The main ways that S.A affects me most is

a)not being able to act like myself because my anxiety takes over-peoples perceptions of me are completely ****ered up
b)feeling distant to friends I've known for years-some weeks being able to hang out with them, other weeks telling them I don't feel great and won't be seeing them for a while
c)avoiding doing things I should be able to do-make phone calls,go to events without difficulty,go out for a run/jog ect.
d) feeling extremely awkward/uncomfortable when walking /eating on my own when people are around
e) Not being able to express myself the way I want to in words when I'm talking to people/ especially when i attempt to talk to new people-god what a mess(speech related anxiety)
f)The physical symptoms-heart palpitations,shaking,general awkwardness.
g) not being able to tell people about my struggle in the fear that they won't believe or fully understand me( I'm good at covering up my anxiety, appearing confident when needs be). unless its so bad that i feel physically ill(panic attacks)

There are many many other things that I experience because of my "mental difficulties".
starting off in new environments i.e college has been a HUGE one for me, Dreading starting a new course next September *shivers.

B.t.w If you can't afford private therapy and don't mind waiting for about a year or so..
go to your g.p and s/he'll refer you to hse public psychotherapy services..
Im in both group/individual "free" therapy sessions and have been for the past two years


Don't overlook it, even if you dont think you have it that bad- in many cases it will manifest itself and will only escalate, causing problems more severe that just "feeling uncomfortable in some social situations".

hope that long message post has assisted some people at least,
If not, sorry for wasting five minutes of your life haha

peace. .

Sabbathmc

Btw don't buy into these c.ds and books which promise to help reduce social anxiety ect.
Do research , have some common sense.

The mind is a very profound thing and some treatments may never prove to be effective, some people are stuck with mental problems for their whole life unfortunetly,although doing treatment should give them techniques of how to cope with it and lead as "normal" of a life as possible.

:P:P:P

ranelaghguy

I have been socially anxious since as long as I can remember, its really really frustrating. I also blush very badly and sweat when im under pressure or for no reason at all, its like my brain is working against me.

The worse thing is I work in a shop and it is the most stressful experience everyday as there are lots of different people coming into the shop.

Im afraid to tell anyone about it because I think they will laugh.

Sabbathmc

ranelaghguy wrote: »

I have been socially anxious since as long as I can remember, its really really frustrating. I also blush very badly and sweat when im under pressure or for no reason at all, its like my brain is working against me.

The worse thing is I work in a shop and it is the most stressful experience everyday as there are lots of different people coming into the shop.

Im afraid to tell anyone about it because I think they will laugh.

wow , I'm envious that you got the job, you must be fine at job interviews?
And if a person laughs at you they're pathetic, laughing because they feel awkward or are so fake that they have no emotion -something that idiotic people in society have none of-or pretend not to!
If you feel comfortable with anyone at all, discuss things through with them
start off with theres something Kinda personal-ish that I've been needing to talk about..
thats what I'd do Have done in the past...

ranelaghguy

No im not fine at job interviews, i got in there on my friends recommendation and the interview was just an informal conversation with the boss. Before that i did an interview with tesco and they didn't give me the job and i know it was because i was blushing like anything.

I know they are stupid for laughing but ya know they don't understand how painful it is mentally anyway. People act so weird around me when I blush so ya know how can i ignore it when that happens.

Well Im a guy so discussing mental or private issues with anyone is a major problem lol, got to keep up the show and pretend there is nothing wrong with me and life is good NOT.

Sabbathmc

just tell them to shutup, its the only way theyll stop then if they see your pissed off.
I completly get ya- but I know guys who are not gay who are open and express themselves and there is absaloutely nothing wrong with that
your friends seem like assholes to me, no offense
only immature people act that way...

talk to a girl-friend of yours
shell definetly listen, she mighn't understand but shell listen..

I should know Im one of em lol

LegacyUser

My advice for anyone suffering from anxiety is to talk to your doctor. Everyone talks about anxiety being a mental issue. Ask yourself this: what happens when you have an anxiety attack? Heart goes like the clappers, breathing becomes shallow, hands get sweaty - all of these symptoms make you want to get away from the situation you're in. They're all physical symptoms. We are physical beings.

I was given tablets that stop all the physical affects. The result was it stopped the anxiety. The more anxiety-less situations I found myself in the more confidence I gained and eventually I was tablet and anxiety free.

ranelaghguy

Maybe they would be ok with it, I dont know, maybe its just this psychological condition making me paranoid lol. Thats the thing about it I dread a lot of things well in advance of them happening but then when they pass, they haven't all been as painful as expected. Then again try telling my brain that ha.

Yeah there have been a few times when it got really bad and I thought I was going to freak out and have a mental breakdown. I know there are people with worse conditions out there so I should be thankful. But it so important for a healthy and fulfilled life to be social. I suppose its all about taking that first step.

How was the group sessions you took? I'd say they would be helpful, just to be among people who understood what its like.

Sabbathmc

The group did me a world of good.
You get to hear other peoples experiences and you learn so much about social anxiety..
I've stopped doing them for a while cos i've had a major relapse
its important to try and stick with individual therapy aswell as group
after reducing my anxiety to a manageable state and being able to do things I felt extremely uncomfortable at before I decided to completely stop one on one sessions and just do group therapy cos I found it amazingly educational lol
But unfortunetly after a few months things got really bad for me again so yeah..
do group but also individual too!-if your planning on doing it that is

and also yeah you should try telling a person or two who you feel comfortable with-- completely understand the paranoia tho,you never know they might have some "psychological issues" also
:P

LegacyUser

Hi I would like to say that there is hope for social anxiety.

I was diagnosed with social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder (kind of a more extreme version of sa). I have had one to one CBT for a number of months and it definately has made a difference. I do suffer with depression on and off and the cbt has helped with that too.

I have one gripe with the psychiatric services , I was medicated for a number of years and for one reason or another (probably lack of resources - only one psychologist available for the area) the underlying reason for my depression was never investigated. So I took it on myself after reading up on the best treatment for sa and depression to go to an expert in CBT for therapy. I still have to work hard at it, but I can see the difference.

LegacyUser

Hi,
I feel very similar. I just realised this when my physio said I am a very tense person. He said I need to relax more or try meditation. That the tension is contributing to me picking up injuries so easily. He wasn't sure why I am so tense - maybe stress, work, etc. But I actually believe it's because of social anxiety!

Even the most mundane things like answering the door, answering the phone, calling someone, even texting someone, cause me to tense up and get very very anxious. I really hate why this happens. Such simple things are having a negative effect on my life.
I feel tense going meeting people or even walking down the street I tense up and think people are looking at me. Just saying hello to someone makes me tense up and my mind starts going into overdrive with negative thoughts - did I sound stupid, I sound foolish, etc...

I really want to be self confident, relaxed and not get anxious/tense about such trivial things.

Please help!
Thanks!