Shes my best friend(YUCK!)

Pighead · 13-11-2007 11:09am #1

Pighead was at a wedding last week and all was going well until the groom stood up to make his speech. "I'd like to thank my family blah blah blah etc etc.....but most of all I'd like to thank this beautiful lady beside me today who not only is my wife but my best friend also"

Pighead almost choked upon his glass of Montrachet 1978 from Domaine de la Romanée-Conti wine when he heard that bit. Best friend? You've oinly known the girl for 3 years ya big eejit. And what a kick in the balls to your best man who had just finished his speech waxing lyrical about how they'd always been best friends down through the years.

It was like the groom was saying "Yeah thinks buddy for sticking by me through thick and thin over the past 27 years but I've got a chick now so I've demoted you to role of Assistant Best Friend. What a load of poppycock. Even if he had of called his wife his best fcukfriend things wouldn't have been so bad but for Pighead what the groom said was tantamount to treachery.

msg11 · 13-11-2007 11:11am

I think us Irish have a problem of not knowing when to shut the **** up. That would have made myself, burst out laughing.

ibh · 13-11-2007 11:12am

Agreed. If I get married i'll say, "but most of all I'd like to thank this beautiful lady beside me today who not only is my wife but one of my best friends also"

RE*AC*TOR · 13-11-2007 11:13am

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead was at a wedding last week and all was going well until the groom stood up to make his speech. "I'd like to thank my family blah blah blah etc etc.....but most of all I'd like to thank this beautiful lady beside me today who not only is my wife but my best friend also"

Pighead almost choked upon his glass of Montrachet 1978 from Domaine de la Romanée-Conti wine when he heard that bit. Best friend? You've oinly known the girl for 3 years ya big eejit. And what a kick in the balls to your best man who had just finished his speech waxing lyrical about how they'd always been best friends down through the years.

It was like the groom was saying "Yeah thinks buddy for sticking by me through thick and thin over the past 27 years but I've got a chick now so I've demoted you to role of Assistant Best Friend. What a load of poppycock. Even if he had of called his wife his best fcukfriend things wouldn't have been so bad but for Pighead what the groom said was tantamount to treachery.

Spoken like a true internet virgin...

Pighead · 13-11-2007 11:15am

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

Spoken like a true internet virgin...

Spoken like a true internet spanner who's making absolutely no sense.

See the way you left those dots trailing into the sunset at the end of your sentence. In future why don't you try replacing them with words to give Pighead a greater clue of what you're tyrying to say. Good lad.

Dave! · 13-11-2007 11:20am

Pighead wrote: »

Spoken like a true internet spanner who's making absolutely no sense.

See the way you left those dots trailing into the sunset at the end of your sentence. In future why don't you try replacing them with words to give Pighead a greater clue of what you're tyrying to say. Good lad.

LOL

You rock my world.

Flymask · 13-11-2007 11:24am

Give the man a break! Getting hitched is nreve-wracking enough without having to worry about the effect the use of the term 'best f**kfriend' would have on granny's heart condition! Plus it could also be interpreted as meaning that he has other f**kfriends, the one he's marrying just being the best of them. Not the greatest prelude to the wedding night!

Relax for a few months - no doubt you'll be promoted again soon!!

RE*AC*TOR · 13-11-2007 11:26am

Pighead wrote: »

Spoken like a true internet spanner who's making absolutely no sense.

See the way you left those dots trailing into the sunset at the end of your sentence. In future why don't you try replacing them with words to give Pighead a greater clue of what you're tyrying to say. Good lad.

Those three dots are called an ellipsis. Its a common device used in many languages (including English) to indicate an intentional ommission. I'm sorry this has left you in a state of miscomprehension.

Pighead · 13-11-2007 11:28am

Flymask wrote: »

Relax for a few months - no doubt you'll be promoted again soon!!

Best friendships shouldn't be about promotions and demotions. You can't throw away a 25 year old special bond just because you've met some female who's lips can do wonderful things for your todger. Nope, the bloke should be ashamed of himself.

hopalong85 · 13-11-2007 11:28am

I think Pighead is funny.

GerryRyan · 13-11-2007 11:29am

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

Those three dots are called an ellipsis. Its a common device used in many languages (including English) to indicate an intentional ommission. I'm sorry this has left you in a state of miscomprehension.

The sad thing here, is that the wasted his time looking that up

Pighead · 13-11-2007 11:33am

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

Those three dots are called an ellipsis. Its a common device used in many languages (including English) to indicate an intentional ommission. I'm sorry this has left you in a state of miscomprehension.

Of course it left Pighead in a state of miscomprehension. You used the fcuking thing arseways. It makes fcuk all sense.

Its like somebody asking Pighead for his name and me replying "My name is..."

He's not gonna say "Wow, great use of the ellipsis there Mister" he's gonna say "What the fcuk are you playing at you big eejit, get rid of those fcuking ellipsis and tell me your stinking name"

This is a classic case of you trying to be a clever cnut and failing miserably. Ellipsis Pigheads arse.

SimpleSam06 · 13-11-2007 11:35am

Well my faith in Irish women has been fully restored after the inner lesbian thread, I'll hear nothing bad said against them. I couldn't give a monkeys matted rump rug about long standing buddy bonds when you have Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek in the picture.

RE*AC*TOR · 13-11-2007 11:36am

ThatGuy wrote: »

The sad thing here, is that the wasted his time looking that up

Well said.

Pighead wrote:

Of course it left Pighead in a state of miscomprehension. You used the fcuking thing arseways. It makes fcuk all sense.

Its like somebody asking Pighead for his name and me replying "My name is......"

He's not gonna say "Wow, great use of the ellipsis there Mister" he's gonna say "What the fcuk are you playing at you big eejit, get rid of those fcuking ellipsis and tell me your stinking name"

This is a classic case of you trying to be a clever cnut and failing miserably. Ellipsis Pigheads arse.

Great - I see you are going for volume now. Enjoy.

Flymask · 13-11-2007 11:36am

Q: What's the difference between your wife & your job?
A: After 20 years, your job still sucks.

Relax, I tell you! It's a well-known fact that lips on todger only happens BEFORE marriage. It's all over once the rings are exchanged.

Soon he'll be screaming out for that 'special bond' you had for 25 years!!

SimpleSam06 · 13-11-2007 11:38am

Flymask wrote: »

Soon he'll be screaming out for that 'special bond' you had for 25 years!!

What, his buddy gave him blowjobs?

Earthhorse · 13-11-2007 11:39am

Yeah, but would the best man sleep with him?

Edit: Ha, ha, I posted this before SimpleSam's reply appeared but think I'll leave it.

GerryRyan · 13-11-2007 11:39am

Flymask wrote: »

Relax, I tell you! It's a well-known fact that lips on todger only happens BEFORE marriage. It's all over once the rings are exchanged.

Note to self - never get married?

Pighead · 13-11-2007 11:41am

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

Great - I see you are going for volume now. Enjoy.

What the fcuk is this? National Ambiguity Day or something? Whats with all these half arsed meaningless replies?

You sound like one of those old chinese blokes who talk in riddles, giving the impression that they're really clever when in reality they've just gone senile.

Just remember this RE*AC*TOR, he who walks in shallow water shall remain dryest of all...

RE*AC*TOR · 13-11-2007 11:47am

Pighead wrote: »

What the fcuk is this? National Ambiguity Day or something? Whats with all these half arsed meaningless replies?

You sound like one of those old chinese blokes who talk in riddles, giving the impression that they're really clever when in reality they've just gone senile.

Just remember this RE*AC*TOR, he who walks in shallow water shall remain dryest of all...

I disagree with your conclusion that my replies lack meaning. They have a meaning at face value, and they have an implied meaning. The reader can either see the implied meaning, fail to grasp the implied meaning, or see the implied meaning and choose to trick himself into ignoring it.

Pighead · 13-11-2007 11:55am

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

I disagree with your conclusion that my replies lack meaning. They have a meaning at face value, and they have an implied meaning. The reader can either see the implied meaning, fail to grasp the implied meaning, or see the implied meaning and choose to trick himself into ignoring it.

Ok RE*AC*TOR, lets start from the start.

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

Spoken like a true internet virgin...

What does that one mean? Pigheads pretty sure he hasn't tricked himself into ignoring its true meaning. Pretty sure it has nothing to do with the content of the thread so guessing its an attack on Pigheads good name.

Only thing is Pighead hasn't a clue what an "internet virgin..." is suppossed to mean here. How hurt and upset should Pighead be feeling?

Beruthiel · 13-11-2007 11:57am

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead almost choked upon his glass of Montrachet 1978 from Domaine de la Romanée-Conti wine when he heard that bit.

I hope you still managed to swallow it down, spitting it out would have been such a waste of a fine wine.

Best friend? You've oinly known the girl for 3 years ya big eejit.

In fairness, he was hoping to get a shag that night, something your so called best friend will never do for you Piggie, hence the promotion to top position.
I'm taking it Miss Piggie doesn't know you post on boards, or at the very least doesn't know your nick, otherwise, you're about to hit a dry spell...
btw
Is your bestest buddy engaged at the moment, are you dreading the up coming demotion?

How hurt and upset should Pighead be feeling?

When in doubt, go for extreemly hurt.

Terry · 13-11-2007 11:57am

RE*AC*TOR, stop trolling.

Pighead · 13-11-2007 12:04pm

Beruthiel wrote: »

I hope you still managed to swallow it down, spitting it out would have been such a waste of a fine wine.

Pighead actually snorted the wine out through his nostrils. Luckily my best friend was on hand and heroically caught the stray wine in a spare wine glass. Ya see thats true best friendship. You wouldn't see Miss Piggy doing that for me.

Beruthiel wrote: »

btwIs your bestest buddy engaged at the moment, are you dreading the up coming demotion?

Never gonna happen. Where we come from best friendship is a bond taht can never ever be broken. Women sheep and priests have all tried and failed to woo us in the past but every single time they have failed. Friends Fiorever is our motto (Pighead thought of that one)

RE*AC*TOR · 13-11-2007 12:12pm

Terry wrote: »

RE*AC*TOR, stop trolling.

Whose trolling should I stop?

Earthhorse · 13-11-2007 12:15pm

Seriously, RE*AC*TOR, no one knows what you're talking about in this thread.

Why don't you go back to posting about Neil Young? You're good at that.

RE*AC*TOR · 13-11-2007 12:19pm

Earthhorse wrote: »

Seriously, RE*AC*TOR, no one knows what you're talking about in this thread.

Why don't you go back to posting about Neil Young? You're good at that.

I doubt no one knows. However, if that is the case, I may have to question my clarity.

As for posting about Neil Young...

Terry · 13-11-2007 12:25pm

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

Whose trolling should I stop?

Warning given.

ibh · 13-11-2007 12:26pm

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

I doubt no one knows. However, if that is the case, I may have to question my clarity.

As for posting about Neil Young...

Yea I sort of skimmed through this thread but I didn't really get what you were on about. I wasn't sure if you were suggesting that the groom was a virgin who spent all his time on the net and therefore didn't really have a 'best friend' before meeting his missus.
Alternatively you were suggesting that Pighead was a virgin. That's a bit strange because firstly how would you know? And secondly, that's the second time in a few days that somebody on here referred to Pighead as a virgin.

If you meant something else, then i didn't read closely enough or i just don't get it.

Pighead · 13-11-2007 12:27pm

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

I doubt no one knows. However, if that is the case, I may have to question my clarity.

As for posting about Neil Young...

Good lad, it took a while but you've eventually realised the error of your rambling ways. We'll put it down to Mid-Morning-Madness.

WhiteWashMan · 13-11-2007 12:30pm

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead was at a wedding last week and all was going well until the groom stood up to make his speech. "I'd like to thank my family blah blah blah etc etc.....but most of all I'd like to thank this beautiful lady beside me today who not only is my wife but my best friend also"

Pighead almost choked upon his glass of Montrachet 1978 from Domaine de la Romanée-Conti wine when he heard that bit. Best friend? You've oinly known the girl for 3 years ya big eejit. And what a kick in the balls to your best man who had just finished his speech waxing lyrical about how they'd always been best friends down through the years.

It was like the groom was saying "Yeah thinks buddy for sticking by me through thick and thin over the past 27 years but I've got a chick now so I've demoted you to role of Assistant Best Friend. What a load of poppycock. Even if he had of called his wife his best fcukfriend things wouldn't have been so bad but for Pighead what the groom said was tantamount to treachery.

which is more upsetting for you?

the fact that he considers his wife his best friend and he never told you?

or that you dont have the same thing with your missus?

and why do you think your ex best friend feels any less of you now than before?

i think you have self esteem issue pighead.

Shes my best friend(YUCK!)

Is your partner your best friend 133 votes

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