Plans for the coming apocalypse

Hellm0

A subject of interest to me, there happens to be alot of talk of a downturn in the Irish housing market recently. To me, this is but the first murmurs of an oncoming decent into madness and anarchy on behalf of the Irish republic. So lets assume it happens, people grow tired of high mortgages and corrupt government and social order breaks down...riots break out, social unrest, civic disturbances...and where will you be?

Me? I'll be launching sniper attacks upon the massively over crowded M50(packed with dublins finest escaping to the wilderness).

*please note this is a completely hypothetical thread.

Wertz

Suicide bombing the Dáil.
No wait, that's tomorrow afternoon....hang on and I'll check my diary...

Dave!

I'll be on my way to sunny Mexico! no wait, isnt that place flooded to sh*t now...? aww, have to think of a new plan. I'll get back to you.

Red Hand

I'll change my name to Omecron and lead my tribe against the plague of zombies that is sure to break out.

Want to join my tribe? Text ZOMBIE to 087******* now!

humanji

Wertz wrote: »

Suicide bombing the Dáil.
No wait, that's tomorrow afternoon....hang on and I'll check my diary...

If you're going to suicide bomb the dail tomorrow, won't it free up the rest of your diary?

I'm going to stock up on tinned foods and hide out til it blows over. Once everyone has fled the cities, I'll pick out a nice big house for myself and lived like a king on tinned peaches!

biko

Mining all access roads to the West, then declaring West Galway clan territory with me as grand chieftain.

Hellm0

DaveMcG wrote: »

I'll be on my way to sunny Mexico! no wait, isnt that place flooded to sh*t now...? aww, have to think of a new plan. I'll get back to you.

Even if you managed to get to the airport I'll be spending part of my days blinding pilots with my trusty laser pointer. THERE SHALL BE NO ESCAPE!

SimpleSam06

Wertz wrote: »

Suicide bombing the Dáil.

Haha, joke's on you, we'll all be too poor to afford semtex.

biko wrote: »

Mining all access roads to the West, then declaring West Galway clan territory with me as grand chieftain.

What category of moderator is that?

Cuddlesworth

Working on a way to stop the decay of Irish culture and society by launching a hamster into the sun.

Wertz

Semtex is sooo 90's...I'm going with two phials of binary explosive and a nice Thermos to combine them in. Sure the cops on duty at the gate will think it's a hip flask and wave me on through.

Humanji wrote:

...won't it free up the rest of your diary?

I have an armoured diary. Must be the boy scout in me...

BaconZombie

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

I'll change my name to Omecron and lead my tribe against the plague of zombies that is sure to break out.

Want to join my tribe? Text ZOMBIE to 087******* now!

I was hoping this was about ZOMBIES......,

Hellm0

BOFH_139 wrote: »

I was hoping this was about ZOMBIES......,

It -can- be about zombies! Due to the lack of pharmacies there shall be no methadone giveouts, junkie city man!

Just dont go down the same road as George Romero and infer the junkies/zombies have rights. Shoot to kill!

Lands Leaving

I'll take up residence in the abandoned (or very cheap to buy since house prices are so low) and take up residence in aras an uchtarain, then hunt the phoenix park deer while stting traps for the zombies. Stay out of my park.

Then slowly lose my mind from lonliness until I start chaining zombies up and talking to them. No no Jerry, dont bite your friend. Good zombie.

thefinalstage

Lands Leaving wrote: »

I'll take up residence in the abandoned (or very cheap to buy since house prices are so low) and take up residence in aras an uchtarain, then hunt the phoenix park deer while stting traps for the zombies. Stay out of my park.

Then slowly lose my mind from lonliness until I start chaining zombies up and talking to them. No no Jerry, dont bite your friend. Good zombie.

You will die before sun down.

Archeron

Apocalyse, Aschmocalypse. When the sun explodes, then I'll worry.
If Ireland was reduced to total anarchy, the scariest thing would be the increase in off license sales.

thefinalstage

Archeron wrote: »

Apocalyse, Aschmocalypse. When the sun explodes, then I'll worry.
If Ireland was reduced to total anarchy, the scariest thing would be the increase in off license sales.

Or the closure of Spar stores.

LouOB

Givng bl*w jobs to punters during the night and helping them to scma their tax returns during the day
Ireland still needs the s*x and scandal trade even during economic turmoil

The Chessplayer

Hellm0 wrote: »

A subject of interest to me, there happens to be alot of talk of a downturn in the Irish housing market recently. To me, this is but the first murmurs of an oncoming decent into madness and anarchy on behalf of the Irish republic. So lets assume it happens, people grow tired of high mortgages and corrupt government and social order breaks down...riots break out, social unrest, civic disturbances...and where will you be?

Me? I'll be launching sniper attacks upon the massively over crowded M50(packed with dublins finest escaping to the wilderness).

*please note this is a completely hypothetical thread.

This thread is not funny. It's just embarrassing.

Also, as far as I know the impending apocalypse will "not be by water, but by fire next time."

SimpleSam06

Wertz wrote: »

Semtex is sooo 90's...I'm going with two phials of binary explosive and a nice Thermos to combine them in. Sure the cops on duty at the gate will think it's a hip flask and wave me on through.

Er maybe its not such a hot idea to discuss in detail blowing up the seat of government on a public forum? Just a thought...

Hellm0 wrote:

It -can- be about zombies!

Right, I'll be leader of the roving motorcycle gang, with the happening do and the wisecracking transexual lackeys. Pa El Grande lent me his Ghandi suit earlier, so I'll be riding point, throwing people off, they will be all, oh look, theres the father of modern peaceful protest, isn't that cute, or possibly oh dear, theres a man in a nappy, better give him some change, then wham! Mad maxed baby, mad maxed. Hell of a way to go. Still maybe you could get a zombie to gnaw off your arm if you haven't the nerve to saw through it.

The Chessplayer wrote:

Also, as far as I know the impending apocalypse will "not be by water, but by fire next time."

Eh what does your handy alternative to bogroll have to say about the shambling hordes of mindless carnivorous undead, seeking brains? I mean what, headshot or dismemberment, or do we just tie 'em up and lamp 'em into a cement mixer?

Archeron

The Chessplayer wrote: »

Also, as far as I know the impending apocalypse will "not be by water, but by fire next time."

EVERYBODY STOP LIGHTING FARTS!!!!!

Wertz

I'm covered by the hypothetical disclaimer in the OP.

Besides if I really wanted to overthrow Dáil Eireann, I wouldn't be as dramatic as blowing it up....no, all I have to do is lace all the kegs in the member's bar with ricin; this is how the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.

I can see the global headlines now: Irish government lost in tragic drinking accident, World carries on as normal.

Hellm0

LouOB wrote: »

Givng bl*w jobs to punters during the night and helping them to scma their tax returns during the day
Ireland still needs the s*x and scandal trade even during economic turmoil

Care to start early?

Cuddlesworth

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

Er maybe its not such a hot idea to discuss in detail blowing up the seat of government on a public forum? Just a thought...

Why not? The worst that could possibly arise out of this discussion is the dail getting blown to pieces. Hmm maybe that would be bad, who would take the brown envelopes then?

LouOB

Tax returns needed to be in by 31st Oct - too late HellmO

Hellm0

LouOB wrote: »

Tax returns needed to be in by 31st Oct - too late HellmO

Tax law be damned!

MOH

Is it not already happening?

ROCKMAN

kicking the **** out of Mary " the hippo " Harney

Wertz

Hey! Stop kicking that valuable food source!

Hellm0

Wertz wrote: »

Hey! Stop kicking that valuable food source!

We can make candles from her blubber too! And rope from her(I'm sure) ample body hair!

So if the economy goes to sh1t, everyone'll turn into Zombies?

Awesome.

I'll be that dude you always see in the movies who tried to save everyone, gets a big group together, has sex with some hot blonde haired chick, only to ultimately kill themselves in the end.

Fantastic plan

Beano

Hellm0 wrote: »

We can make candles from her blubber too! And rope from her(I'm sure) ample body hair!

can you report a post for making you throw up in your mouth?

leninbenjamin

it's already been decided that whatever happens i'll be taking control of the Dail bar. so yeah, i'll be leading a strategic assault on the dail with this purpose.

that, and ripping the piss out of all the idiots who invested in property which hadn't proper infrastructure near it. or those who continually invested in property when they should have diversified their portfolio.

Hellm0

Deleted User wrote: »

So if the economy goes to sh1t, everyone'll turn into Zombies?

Awesome.

I'll be that dude you always see in the movies who tried to save everyone, gets a big group together, has sex with some hot blonde haired chick, only to ultimately kill themselves in the end.

Fantastic plan

Just dont take the M50 and its all good, thats MY territory.

Hellm0

Hellm0 wrote: »

Just dont take the M50 and its all good, thats MY territory.

Ok. Deal.

But it might lead to some feuding between me and Biko in Galway though.

AlmightyCushion

I'll probably just lock myself in my room and masturbate until it's all over.

Hellm0

Deleted User wrote: »

Ok. Deal.

But it might lead to some feuding between me and Biko in Galway though.

Thats intentional, while you guys are fighting I'll be sleeping with your blond chick.

Ninja_scrotum

I'd go around beating as much **** as possible out of scumbags...

Then I'd go into Currys with a baseball bat and smash everything....

Go around smashing cars....

Hmmm... I'm not a very nice character am I?

Ok i suppose I'll rescue a few puppies from a river or something.

Lux23

I might bake a cake or sort out my sock drawer, you know do all those things that I never really get a chance to.

H.O.T.A.S.

I'd be in the Bunker cleaning the rifles and laughing my ass off as I watch the country destroy itself on the computer monitor

Zzippy

Deleted User wrote: »

Ok. Deal.

But it might lead to some feuding between me and Biko in Galway though.

I'm with Biko there. You're going down Boney... and not in the good way!

thefinalstage

Galwayguy99 wrote: »

I'm with Biko there. You're going down Boney... and not in the good way!

The question is, on who?

Wertz

thelastangryman wrote: »

The question is, on who?

Yore ma?

Come on, someone had to post it...

thefinalstage

Wertz wrote: »

Yore ma?

Come on, someone had to post it...

Whimsical!

AlmightyCushion

H.O.T.A.S. wrote: »

I'd be in the Bunker cleaning the rifles and laughing my ass off as I watch the country destroy itself on the computer monitor

You're going to lock yourself in your basement with your computer? For some reason I don't think it'll be riffles you'll be cleaning.

KIVES

I'll have 'The Best of Roy Orbison'playing loudly in the background -nobody does 'bittersweet' quite like that man...oh and maybe a wee prayer as a hopeless attempt at reconciliation with anything that might be of benefit when Roy no longer croons in the said background - Leonard Cohen and 'The Future' would be way too cliched for a coming apocalypse...you gotta have have your tunes right for a once in a lifetime moment...

Black Swan

I'll start lining up auditions in Hollywood for those zombies that wander as far as So Cal.

H.O.T.A.S.

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

You're going to lock yourself in your basement with your computer? For some reason I don't think it'll be riffles you'll be cleaning.

You gotta pass the time somehow AC

ScumLord

I'd start up me own black market trading company something like Scumlords discount stolen goods store. If we don't have what you want in stock just point us in the direction of someone that does

Overall I think the Irish people will be far to lazy to go crazy (unless we're pisshed) and we'll probably just stick to complaining about the goverment.

Archeron

Right. Just finished building my apocolypse proof love bunker in the garden. Complete with entertainment room, bar, hydro spa (for the laaadies), olympic pool, 27 themed bedrooms and the patented "Apoco-cam" so we can watch the fun from the super comfy couch in the TV Zone.

Bidding for places starts at 1000 shekels. (only bids by hot women will be considered)

thefinalstage

Archeron wrote: »

Right. Just finished building my apocolypse proof love bunker in the garden. Complete with entertainment room, bar, hydro spa (for the laaadies), olympic pool, 27 themed bedrooms and the patented "Apoco-cam" so we can watch the fun from the super comfy couch in the TV Zone.

Bidding for places starts at 1000 shekels. (only bids by hot women will be considered)

*Boom* Sorry I think I blew up your bunker...Don't leave dynamite lying around!

Archeron

Dammit!!!