The Toolbox Thread

Pighead

When Pighead was a kid every man around the area had a huge toolbox sitting proudly on display on a big shelf in their big shed. There was tools and instruments of all shapes sizes and colours. Pretty sure 80% of them were never used.

The size of the toolbox seemed to indicate how manly the bloke was. The bigger the toolbox the more masculine the man. Pigheads toolbox consists of two screwdrivers and a swiss army knife. Well actually for toolbox, read drawer in the kitchen.

Whenever the clan are gathered for funerals weddings etc the older male relations will start yakking on about their brand new power tools or multi purpose drill bits. They always notice the glazed look on Pigheads face and one of them will invariably pat me on the head and say something like "The men are talking now Pighead, why don't you go over to the women and join in their talk of tapestry and flower arranging.

Is the art of the toolbox dying out or is it just Pighead whos somehow missed this manly boat?

ibh

Hey Pighead, i've seen your posts before and always thought you were a bit weird, but here goes.. I think a man does need a tool box with a reasonable selection of screwdrivers, spanners, socket set etc. Doesn't have to be a professional tool chest however.
It's much the same as how every women should have a sewing set / box..
You go a bit weird on the whole funeral / wedding, tapestry flower arranging bit, so i'll steer clear of that bit of the post..
Cheers,

Jesus Wept

I have two screwdrivers also.
That's it.

star-pants

my dad has a whole shed FULL of tools n stuff. I think he owns nearly everything you can get (apart from silly gimmicky things..and industrial stuff lol). We've run out of things to buy him for birthday/christmas/fathers day.

I think every household should have a decent tool box.
You know when you're over in someones house n you might be helping to fix something & you ask if they've a simple screwdriver or hammer or pliers and they've none...
Guess I'm just used to always having access to them.

Two screwdrivers (flat head & phillips I'll assume?) and swiss army knife are better than nothing! (although, check out Leathermans --they're cool)(brand of army knife)

arybvtcw0eolkf

You'll have to ask your sister about Mairts toolbox

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Pighead wrote: »

Is the art of the toolbox dying out or is it just Pighead whos somehow missed this manly boat?

I'm afraid you missed the boat there PigFace... This has been a topic of conversation recently. Apparently Lidl is the place to go for your tool boxes!

ibh

Mairt wrote: »

You'll have to ask your sister about Mairts toolbox

He calls himself Pigman. Do you really want to associate your toolbox with his sister?? She could very easily be pigwoman and would you really want Pigwoman having info about your tool box!!:eek:

cornbb

A dusty box containing screwdrivers, sockets, soldering irons, allen keys, a hammer and the like, is a must in every manly man's life. Most of this stuff should be used at some stage too.

ejmaztec

The bigger the toolbox, the more bottles of Whiskey you can get in 'em. That's why there are so many accidents involving DIY tools. It's nothing to do with incompetence, it's more to do with alcohol poisoning.

"I'm just making a new table, dear"

Pighead

Whats the etiquette with regards to passing on of toolboxes? When Papa Pighead dies will his toolbox be automatically be passed down to me. What if the sis wants it, what if Pighead doesn't want it? Is it rude to say no?

Beruthiel

You've missed the manly boat Piggie, you're what we call a metrosexual.
Even I have more tools than you, 5 screw drivers, varies sized alan keys, a hammer, sprocked wrench, normal wrench, 2 plyers, nails, screws..
Next you'll be telling us you can't change a plug.

star-pants

Pighead wrote: »

Whats the etiquette with regards to passing on of toolboxes? When Papa Pighead dies will his toolbox be automatically be passed down to me. What if the sis wants it, what if Pighead doesn't want it? Is it rude to say no?

Tisn't rude -- might be left in the will for you, but you can always give it to your sister if she wants it.
My grandfather left his tools to my dad in his will - dad took the few pieces he wanted & told his sisters to have the rest.

ejmaztec

Pighead wrote: »

Whats the etiquette with regards to passing on of toolboxes? When Papa Pighead dies will his toolbox be automatically be passed down to me. What if the sis wants it, what if Pighead doesn't want it? Is it rude to say no?

It should be put in the coffin. When they wake up from their alcohol-induced coma, they might find something to assist them in carving their way through the lid and six feet of earth.

arybvtcw0eolkf

ibh wrote: »

He calls himself Pigman. Do you really want to associate your toolbox with his sister?? She could very easily be pigwoman and would you really want Pigwoman having info about your tool box!!:eek:

You wouldn't believe the amount of pigfaced wimmins I've screwed

Pighead

Beruthiel wrote: »

You've missed the manly boat Piggie, you're what we call a metrosexual.
Even I have more tools than you, 5 screw drivers, varies sized alan keys, a hammer, sprocked wrench, normal wrench, 2 plyers, nails, screws..
Next you'll be telling us you can't change a plug.

First off Pigheads reported you for calling him a metrosexual.

Second off, surely the fact Pighead doesn't have a toolbox means he's actually more manly than most of the populace. Take this scenario for example.

Typical Irish Man: Hey ya honeypops, how are you today
Typical Irish Mans Chick: I'm pretty good. Now put up those shelves for me in the kitchen
Typical Irish Man: Yes Dear. I'll get my toolbox and do it immediately.
Typical Irish Mans Chick:(Muttering) What a bloody pushover.

Pighead: Alright babes, how the fcuk are ya
Miss Piggy: I'm pretty good. Now put up those shelves for me in the kitchen
Pighead: no can do babes. Don't have a toolbox.
Miss Piggy: Fair enough, lets make love instead.

big b

I have loads of hand & power tools, more than I can fit in my toolbox.

I have used most of them to ruin stuff whilst attempting to assemble it or fix it to a wall or floor.

ibh

ibh wrote: »

He calls himself Pigman. Do you really want to associate your toolbox with his sister?? She could very easily be pigwoman and would you really want Pigwoman having info about your tool box!!:eek:

I mistakingly called Pigface, Pigman. And Pigface's sister is just Pigface as well. But the feminine form.. (I think you add an e or an I or some sh!te like that. I was no good at French at school. Or English for that matter...)

And Mairt, at least you openly admit going for pigfaced women.. Some people deny it..

Drift

Pighead wrote: »

lets make love instead.

More proof of metrosexuality I'm afraid. Real men have sex with the missus ... only the pussy whipped ones make love to her

Also the very fact that the Miss Piggy has to ask you to have sex with her further demanlifies you

In my house there's a tool press instead of a box. A tool for every occasion but the problem is some other fecker has it already "borrowed".

zuutroy

A 17 year old car and being too cheap to pay a mechanic means I have to have a few bits and pieces.

Stercus Accidit

I have about ten or more toolboxes, full to the brim with ****e rusty tools, I have several of everything, but have lost my power planer, and disk saw, beast that yoke, old rusty and ready to sever!

All my dads old stuff and an engineer I knew that moved to England, some I bought myself, but I've collected them all the same.

I've a serious collection in my room, I 've three full socket wrench sets, a few alan key sets, hammers drills electric screwdrivers, solderers suffice to say I've alot of tools.

In meath.

I'm in Dublin now for 3 years.

In meath they will stay.

cance

Beruthiel wrote: »

You've missed the manly boat Piggie, you're what we call a metrosexual.
Even I have more tools than you, 5 screw drivers, varies sized alan keys, a hammer, sprocked wrench, normal wrench, 2 plyers, nails, screws..
Next you'll be telling us you can't change a plug.

but would you rent your box? for pigheads meager tool (collection)

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

if yuou have a computer, you should probably own a screwdriver....

and if you own an amd, you probably need a pliers just to get the heatsink off.

arseagon

Mordeth wrote: »

and if you own an amd, you probably need a pliers just to get the heatsink off.

Ah yes that is always fun isn't it.

I also have many many tools, in many many places.....

(In other words i'm always losing them)

humbert

I have lots of tools, but they're all little tools, not really much used for putting up shelves or fixing a diesel engine but great for taking apart a laptop or other such gizmo. Multimeter, little screwdrivers, little pliers, little power drill even.

Is it still manly if all your tools are really little?

dame

We have two toolboxes in our household. I have the real tools in a real proper metal toolbox and he has a little dinky plastic toolbox full of little teeny tiny tools for electronics. Guess who needs to borrows whose tools more often!

Xavi6

"Pat wants to put his massive tool in my box"

Varkov

Yeah, as I turned 20 I started noticing all the tools they're selling in lidle n aldi.
I have a fair few screwdrivers, pliers, renches, hack saws, files, alan keys.
But I constantly find myself thinking "Wow, nice angle grinder. I'd probably never use it..............it must be mine!"

Part of growing up.

And yeah pigface, what would you do if you had to unclog a pipe, or needed to change a socket?:eek:

arseagon

Just you all wait till Pig(face)(man)(head) comes back to clear up exactly what his name is for all you people.

Terry

Beruthiel wrote: »

You've missed the manly boat Piggie, you're what we call a metrosexual.
Even I have more tools than you, 5 screw drivers, varies sized alan keys, a hammer, sprocked wrench, normal wrench, 2 plyers, nails, screws..
Next you'll be telling us you can't change a plug.

Pighead's a tool in his own right.

Incidentally, I looked at the AH ban list the other day and it tells me you are banned. Git oot.

o/t
Lots and lots of everyday tools, like screwdrivers, allen keys, wrenches, spanners, pliers, pincers and the like.
Also, a 4.5" and 9" angle grinders with diamond tipped blades.
Two tile cutters. One large, one small.
750 watt power drill.
16 watt electric screwdriver.
2 hacksaws. One large, one small.
Electric jigsaw.
Various other bits and pieces which come in handy from time to time.

connundrum

I have a kitchen knife.

I had bought verious toolsets over the years, but in moving around I'd managed to loose all of them. Kitchen knife suits every job now.

dame

connundrum wrote: »

Kitchen knife suits every job now.

Tut tut

Karl Hungus

Pighead wrote: »

Is the art of the toolbox dying out or is it just Pighead whos somehow missed this manly boat?

I don't know...

I've got a hell of a lot of tools, various screwdrivers (One electric), pliers, allen keys, wrenches, a soldering iron and other assorted kejiggers that I use, and they're basically just occupying various shelves and drawers. I don't actually have a box for them.

Maybe the box is dead, but tools certainly aren't.

MooseJam

theres never a goddamn allen key when you need one

mike65

I have a metric and imperial set!

/and loads of other stuff. I've never called out a repair man or handyman for the house.

Mike.

L1011

I've got an ungainly amount of power tools - I blame coming home hungover to the power tools show on QVC early on Sunday mornings. I don't know what half of them do, and the ones I can work I've rarely to never used (laser leveller, etc). And I've four boxes full of other tools - one big RAC toolchest, and three other ones full of assorted stuff. Theres at least two huge socket sets amongst them.

In everyday use, all that ever gets out is the drill, few size drill bits, hammer, 10mm and 13mm spanners, stanley knife and snips. Which is all you need to do satellite installs, other than a ladder (which I've three of, ffs) and a signal meter (which I've way too many of also).

nesf

A small selection, half of it here, half of it back at my parent's place. Several screwdrivers (incl. mains testers), a set of allen keys, a claw hammer, a soldering iron, a multimeter, a vice-grips, a minature hacksaw, a hacksaw, a measuring tape, several snips/pliers, several multi-tools and army knives and assorted other bits and pieces picked up for one-off jobs etc.

I've never bought any power tools, I just borrow them from my dad if they are needed.

Karl Hungus

That reminds me, I really need a new stanley knife and a multimeter.

Ruu_Old

I have no toolbox but a bag so it goes where I go! I bought a 10" table saw a few weeks ago, tis the only power tool I have.

Pighead

Terry wrote: »

Pighead's a tool in his own right.

Incidentally, I looked at the AH ban list the other day and it tells me you are banned. Git oot.

Post reported by Pighead. Name calling is the 2nd worse thing in the world(after bombs).

Are you saying Pighead was on the banned list? Must be some mistake. There hasn't been a more concientious or helpful poster in these parts over the last few months. Pigheads been a good boy of late and has steered well clear of any bannings. Those wild unpredictable days are well and truly over.

Hagar

My toolbox runneth over.

nesf

Pighead wrote: »

Are you saying Pighead was on the banned list?

No, the person he quoted is the one who's banned...

Terry

Pighead wrote: »

Post reported by Pighead. Name calling is the 2nd worse thing in the world(after bombs).

Are you saying Pighead was on the banned list? Must be some mistake. There hasn't been a more concientious or helpful poster in these parts over the last few months. Pigheads been a good boy of late and has steered well clear of any bannings. Those wild unpredictable days are well and truly over.

Tools are good things.

Also, I was saying that Beruthial is on the ban list, not you.

Pighead

Terry wrote: »

Tools are good things.

Also, I was saying that Beruthial is on the ban list, not you.

Oh. Pighead feels petty now for reporting your post. It was a rare moment of spite. Hope you don't get in trouble or lose your modship over this. You're a good man Terry.

mawk

anyone using a kitchen knife to undo screws deserves to lose their fingers.

also i dont so much have a big toolbox in the shed so much as two full sheds worth..

Pighead

mawk wrote: »

anyone using a kitchen knife to undo screws deserves to lose their fingers.

also i dont so much have a big toolbox in the shed so much as two full sheds worth..

Pigheads word, that's quite an impressive amount of tools you claim to have. Although there is every possibility you may have a small todger and are trying to compensate. There is also the possibilty the two sheds you speak of are extremely small in length and width thus negating the impressiveness of it all.

How big are your sheds buddy?(to the nearest inch will do)

randylonghorn

Pighead wrote: »

When Pighead was a kid every man around the area had a huge toolbox sitting proudly on display ... pretty sure 80% of them were never used.

Personally, I prefer not to put mine on public display except to intimate friends of the female gender. However, it definitely gets used on a reasonably regular basis.

Actually, Pighead, I think you are to be commended for not sitting round comparing notes with the males of the family on this issue ...

David Michael

I have a factory. Welders included. MIG etc.

knird evol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qciAWZ3Sn4o&NR=1

Beruthiel

Terry wrote: »

I was saying that Beruthial is on the ban list, not you.

That's a total slur on my good name sir!
Retract that claim or it's pistols at dawn.

Terry

Beruthiel wrote: »

That's a total slur on my good name sir!
Retract that claim or it's pistols at dawn.

Pistols it is.

ibh

I hope this thread keeps going till tomorrow. That way i can get home from work this evening and take a picture of my toolbox and post it here.. Cue innuendo!!!