What are the best GAA Stories?

flahavaj

I heard one that some of the more toothless members of the Waterford county hurling panel (messrs Shanahan, McGrath et al) went before the county board asking for dental implants to replace their missing incisors. In unison the three aul' fellas reached for their mouths, pulled out their own dentures replacing the same front teeth and proclaimed that "ye'll get them when we do!":D

pjbrady1

Here are two good ones,

One of the most outrageous commentaries that has been broadcast was surely the commentary for the Mayo Tipperary qualifier from 2001.(Guy from Roscommon who is on Mid West radio in Mayo - think it is Mike Carney)
Recently Conor Mortimer had adopted his blonde hair and Ciaran McDonald was naturally enough blonde. The Tipp air must of got to Carney as he was more overeager than normal and was hyped to the max. His phraseology had totally gone out the window. Went something like:
"And it's Conor Mortimer, the blonde, the blonde has it, he's jinking he sidesteps, he throws a left at it, but its tailed off."
"Here is the blonde, the blonde bomber McDonald. He's like a bee round a honey pot"
Best of all coming near the end of what was a pretty standard fair game.
"This game is not over yet, don't go anywhere, don't go to put on a cup o tea, don't go to the shops, ..., not even for a jam sponge!!"
A multitude of texts poured in after the game.

Other stories,
At an Offaly under 12s match years ago, the local team were receiving a walloping at half time. The fifty year old hard working, big farmer was making his impassioned plea for action, shoulders and scores when one o the young lads picked up a lucozade sport bottle and started drinkin.
"What are ya at with that bottle" the farmer roared at him
"Tis luzozade sport"
"I'll give ye effin lucozade sport" roars the farmer grabs the bottle off the young lad and kicks it down the pitch

At a Mayo div 1 league Moy Davitts -Burrishoole match about five years ago Colm McMenamon (recently finished with Mayo then)was chasing a ball down to the sideline. The ball was not collected by the Moy Davitts man ahead of McMenanmin and bounced off his arse over the line.
Linesman gives a Davitts ball.
McMenamon "That's our effin ball"
Moy Davitts officials standing six feet from what was (and still is) a big man who looked like he could chew timber.
"Ah it is now Colm, it bounced off yer arshe" the whole line of subs n hangers on broke down laughing.

johnnyrotten123

Adding to the commentator comments....

There is a guy on South-East Radio in Wexford called Liam Spratt. He commentates on all the GAA matches and has been for years. But he comes out with the odd great line - 'and the referee blows and ball and throws in the whistle' is one famous one.

The best one I heard though was during a Wexford hurling match in the mid nineties and the opposition, the Cats probably, were putting on the pressure...

'...and the ball goes out to Tim Flood...what am I saying, it's Sean Flood, son of the late, great Tim Flood...what am I saying, shure Tim Flood isn't dead!!'

Kerry On Tour

johnnyrotten123 wrote: »

Adding to the commentator comments....

There is a guy on South-East Radio in Wexford called Liam Spratt. He commentates on all the GAA matches and has been for years. But he comes out with the odd great line - 'and the referee blows and ball and throws in the whistle' is one famous one.

The best one I heard though was during a Wexford hurling match in the mid nineties and the opposition, the Cats probably, were putting on the pressure...

'...and the ball goes out to Tim Flood...what am I saying, it's Sean Flood, son of the late, great Tim Flood...what am I saying, shure Tim Flood isn't dead!!'

The late Liam Higgins was something to behold on Kerry Radio with Weeshie Fogarty. Never in my life did I think it was possible for a man to say "the ball" so much in one passage of speech. A standard line of commentary would go something like "Diarmaid Murphy kicks out the ball, the ball is heading for the middle of field, Dara Ó' Sé and Ciaran Whealan go up for the ball, the ball breaks, they are all in there fighting for the ball, who has the ball now, its Paul Galvin who has the ball, he solos the ball, bounces the ball and lets the ball into Colm Cooper, Colm Cooper Collects the ball and is now running with the ball he still has the ball, he kicks the ball and the ball goes over the bar"!

johnnyrotten123

Kerry On Tour wrote: »

The late Liam Higgins was something to behold on Kerry Radio with Weeshie Fogarty. Never in my life did I think it was possible for a man to say "the ball" so much in one passage of speech. A standard line of commentary would go something like "Diarmaid Murphy kicks out the ball, the ball is heading for the middle of field, Dara Ó' Sé and Ciaran Whealan go up for the ball, the ball breaks, they are all in there fighting for the ball, who has the ball now, its Paul Galvin who has the ball, he solos the ball, bounces the ball and lets the ball into Colm Cooper, Colm Cooper Collects the ball and is now running with the ball he still has the ball, he kicks the ball and the ball goes over the bar"!

lol that's very good - I didn't realise Liam had passed away though

Back to Spratt, he always has a few sidekicks with him on big match days, past Wexford greats and so on. One of them, who shall rename nameless, came out with a great line once about the general state of Wexford hurling:

'These boys have to start playing as a team - and there's no time like the future!'

Kerry On Tour

johnnyrotten123 wrote: »

lol that's very good - I didn't realise Liam had passed away though

Back to Spratt, he always has a few sidekicks with him on big match days, past Wexford greats and so on. One of them, who shall rename nameless, came out with a great line once about the general state of Wexford hurling:

'These boys have to start playing as a team - and there's no time like the future!'

HAHAHA thats brilliant. How about the most famous commentator curse ever.
O'Hehir: "And it looks as if they were winning the way the Offaly men are dithering and dawdling...and here they go up the field"
Seconds later "A GOAL, A GOAL, A GOAL FOR OFFALY! Oh what a goal!" - O'Hehir's reaction seconds later as Séamus Darby scores the winning goal for Offaly, denying Kerry a famous fifth consecutive All-Ireland title which sent me crying!

johnnyrotten123

Kerry On Tour wrote: »

HAHAHA thats brilliant. How about the most famous commentator curse ever.
O'Hehir: "And it looks as if they were winning the way the Offaly men are dithering and dawdling...and here they go up the field"
Seconds later "A GOAL, A GOAL, A GOAL FOR OFFALY! Oh what a goal!" - O'Hehir's reaction seconds later as Séamus Darby scores the winning goal for Offaly, denying Kerry a famous fifth consecutive All-Ireland title which sent me crying!

Don't worry, I was crying two years later on my first visit to Croker - Leinster final against Offaly. We were four points down with a few minutes to go and then got a goal. The ball was pucked out and the ref blew up early. The shock! I actually thought all along that we were going to win!
Cue the tears!

Tomthepost

Kerry On Tour wrote: »

HAHAHA thats brilliant. How about the most famous commentator curse ever.
O'Hehir: "And it looks as if they were winning the way the Offaly men are dithering and dawdling...and here they go up the field"
Seconds later "A GOAL, A GOAL, A GOAL FOR OFFALY! Oh what a goal!" - O'Hehir's reaction seconds later as Séamus Darby scores the winning goal for Offaly, denying Kerry a famous fifth consecutive All-Ireland title which sent me crying!

What I remember most about O'Hehir from that game is that at least twice in the second half he posed the question 'Is there a goal in the game?' After the whole "A GOAL, A GOAL, A GOAL FOR OFFALY'! He simply said 'There was a goal in the game' Absolute genious pity the goal went to Offaly though

JayoCluxton

My favourite Michéal O'Hehir commentary was during the legendary 1977 All Ireland semi when he famously said "twenty nine minutes still remaining in this game, hallelujah".

will1977

semibluff wrote: »

me and a few of the lads were out at a nightclub about 5 years back. As drunk 18year olds we were standing around waiting on a taxi, and one of the boys spotted ciaran mcgeeney. (the nightclub is were the armagh team always met) Geezer would be a bit of a legend as he still is, and the two other lads in particular were talking absolute muck to him (he was on the sober). Just as we were leaving, one of the boys, who plays the same position as Ciaran says "well jesus thanks very much for chatting with us, your not as much of a wanker as ya look on tv . . . (big laughs all round) really made my night chattin with ya, thanks" . to which ciaran answered - "its not been long since i was your ages lads, but back then id much rather be chattin with big titted blonde - funny how times change"

He used to share a house with my ex-girlfriend and 1 night came home a bit worse for wear. Anyhow, my misses was in her bedroom when there was a knock on the door. She opened it only to find Ciaran bolloc naked apart from a pair of footy socks offering hir services for the night !!!

P.s She was a " big titted blonde " !! :D:D

frebel

paudie palmer, a kerryman commentating in west cork, is a great man for sticking in random pieces of info such as "Pat "the veg" Tobin local grocer fields another high ball" etc.

One of his best ones though was " and the full back has made an awful mistake, but shur if it wasn't for mistakes we wouldn't have half the population we have"

blackbelt

Heres one that my good friend and new member of boards,Villains77 has forgot.

Villains77 is at the Cork v Kerry Munster Final this year down in Killarney.After Kerry won,Villains77 and his uncle go to a pub where upon entering a man opens the door for them.

Uncle says "thanks Eoin".Then the uncle turns to Villains77 and in his Kerry accent says

"Well,you not going to say hello to Bomber"?

Villains77: "What?"
Uncle:"Bomber Liston like".

Villains77 at the top of his voice in his best Dublin accent shouts out in the middle of the pub ....."B0ll0X".

Tomthepost

If that was on overheard in dublin it would have a minus rating

UnitedIrishman

A brilliant one I remember from around 1995 when Mayo played Sligo in U-21's in the Connacht Final. Eamonn O'Hara was playing for Sligo and was pretty much holding the team together. In the replay he was being marked by David Brady and John Casey, two lads who are quite fond of winding up the opposition as you can imagine. It's been well known O'Hara has a short fuse so the management were told to keep onto him and get into his head.

Story goes that O'Hara (who lives close to Charlestown - where Casey is from), his girlfriend was in the pub that Casey worked in/drank in and when he recognised who she was began chatting her up etc providing him with plenty of ammunition. Ball is about to be thrown in and Casey turns to O'Hara and reads out her number saying a few mistruths about his time with his girlfriend and within 20 minutes O'Hara was sent off for lamping Casey! Mayo went on to win the title and only lose out in the All-Ireland.

yabadabado

when roscommon played in one of the all-ireland finals in the 40's.a fella that was on the panel was working on the day and he missed the train in athlone so he kept on cycling to dublin about 90miles.his name was tom brennan(?).afaik he didnt play that day but it was some effort

Tomthepost

Can we get this thread going again lads?
We must have a few new members with a few stories!

homerjay2005

not sure if its mentioned here, but surely the best goes to Clare V offaly in 95, Ger Loughnane, wat a legend. Center back Seanie Mcmahon was injured in the weeks up to the game, a bad shoulder injury. anyway, it was big news around offaly and of course, if he played, what was the first thing they would do? hit the f**ker hard when he got the first ball. so, loughnane pulled a master stroke, and strapped up the other shoulder! low and behold, mcmahon was getting belted left right and center on his strond shoulder and the weak one wasnt touched!

lorweld

on the local radio bit a few years ago ex laois player michael lawlor was playing for his local club the commentator says 'and heres the red headed mickey flying it up the pitch'


another story i remember reading in the paper a number of yrs back if anyone can remember the full and correct facts of this story i would love to hear it. iirc i think it was about an intermediate or a junior team in carlow, but there was a fella who never missed training went for yrs turned up for every match but never got a place on the team, one particular sunday for some reason or another only 15 members of the whole panel arrived for a match, the manager decided to play the game with 14 players and leave yer man on the subs bench!!!! i remember feeling very sorry for the poor fella but couldn't help but laugh! that story is probably told all arseways but is the general gist of it so if anyone can shed some light on it please do. sorry in advance for wrong details

Tomthepost

Was listening to Newstalk last Friday night and that Carney chap from the Connacht Tribune came out with a classic line.
Something to the effect of
'Dara O Se is a true sporting hero. Right up there with Ronnie Delaney and Arkle'

sgthighway

Popular Mayo Senior Player outside Supermacs in Eyre Square at about 2 in the morning after losing to Galway in the 2006 Connaught Championship (last Day the Sacre Couer Hotel opened). Mayo Player smoking a ciggerette. Young lad about 18 walks up and said you should give them up if you ever want to succeed. Mayo Player says what did you ever win. Young lad; replied "Won a Connaught Minor Medal and got Man of the Match today", then walks of singing Ole! Ole! Ole!
Look on Mayo Players face was priceless........

Keano

About 15 years ago the Kerry hurlers were down to play Clare in Clare in a Munster championship game. Needless to say they didn't hold out much hope of winning.... So what did they do - the whole squad went to on a seisuin the night before the game in Ennis all courtesy of the Kerry county board... A few Clare players playing that day commented that the smell of drink was crucial.

lorweld

local u10 team lost a match fairly badly. at the end of the game their manager after giving them a fierce eating brought them over to the boot of his car opened it and showed them a big box of taytos and a crate of score orange and said 'these were for ye for the end of the match but since ye played cat ye're not getting them now' and closed the boot. the poor young fellas!!!

molby14

homerjay2005 wrote: »

not sure if its mentioned here, but surely the best goes to Clare V offaly in 95, Ger Loughnane, wat a legend. Center back Seanie Mcmahon was injured in the weeks up to the game, a bad shoulder injury. anyway, it was big news around offaly and of course, if he played, what was the first thing they would do? hit the f**ker hard when he got the first ball. so, loughnane pulled a master stroke, and strapped up the other shoulder! low and behold, mcmahon was getting belted left right and center on his strond shoulder and the weak one wasnt touched!

im not trying to be an arsehole but i doubt that story is true.... seanie broke his collarbone v cork that year and finished the match full forward... amazingly he won the line ball that clare got the goal to win the match with. but it was plain to see from that game , shown live on tv which shoulder he had damaged

Keano

You are correct in saying it was clear what shoulder he damaged but I cannot imagine the mangers of the opposing teams spent too much time worrying about what shoulder, so Clare just strapped the strong shoulder to fool the players on the field

molby14

Keano A Legend wrote: »

You are correct in saying it was clear what shoulder he damaged but I cannot imagine the mangers of the opposing teams spent too much time worrying about what shoulder, so Clare just strapped the strong shoulder to fool the players on the field

if they were going to the level of trying to take him out of the game i would be sure they knew what shoulder it was

kevmy

'Larry' Finnerty was training for Mayo in the early 90's. He wasn't the best trainer in the world. Anyway the drill was to run along and jump up to catch an imaginary ball. So Larry was watching the lads do this but when it came to his turn he started of joggin but instead of jumpin to catch the 'ball' he veered of towards the dressing rooms.

Manager shouts after him 'where do ya think your goin'

Larry responds 'I have to get gloves from my kit bag the balls wet'

furboot

not a gaa one but here goes..... on a Lions rugby tour to New Zealand some years ago in the era of Moss Keane there was the usual late night drinking session and next morning all the squad are raring for the 'big fry' breakfast. Some were later at getting out of the scratcher than others and when some of the late risers arrive down for breakfast there's not much left. Moss demands rashers and the rest to which the waitress replies " there's no bacon left"....to which a certain knowledgable head replies "...what do you mean no bacon...how could there be no bacon and this country full of sheep...."

lorweld

lol haha. I know Moss some character!

artie ziff

"Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you
down
- his people are undertakers"

"I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner street this morning and
the omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same
colours as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the Hogan stand side of
the
field Ciaran Whelan goes on a rampage, its a goal. So much for
religion."

"Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar.
This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost
Lazarus-like
recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he
couldn't
kick points like Colin Corkery.

"1-5 to 0-8.. well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that's level scores
in
any man's language".

"Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now ... but here comes
Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail ...... I've seen it all now, a Rabbitte
chasing a Fox around Croke Park!"

"I see John O Donnell dispensing water on the sideline. Tipperary,
sponsored by a water company. Cork Sponsored by a tae company. I wonder
will they meet later for afternoon tae."

"Teddy looks at the ball, the ball looks at Teddy"

"Danny "The Yank" Culloty. He came down from the mountains and hasn't
he
done well"

"He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50......he's on the 40......he's on
the 30..........................he's on the ground"

"In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half they
played with the ball".

"He kicks the ball lan san aer, could've been a goal, could've been a
point.............it went wide."

"Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly....Stephen, one of
12......all but one are here to-day, the one that's missing is Mary,
she's at home minding the house.....and the ball is dropping i lar na
bpairce...."

"Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog from
his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a
great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it
goes
to the left and wide..... and the dog lost as well

"Sean Og o Hailp?n.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from
Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold

"Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to
Teddy McCarthy, still no relation "

johnnyrotten123

johnnyrotten123 wrote: »

If he did ask, I'm sure it wasn't out of politeness! I'm sure the story is missing something there alright, if it is true. A good rumour anyway!

I was speaking to a man in Wexford by the name of Seamus Keevans - he's 'Mr Football' in Wexford but he has played inter-county for at least four counties. Anyway, he marked Mick O'Connell in a game going way back. O'Connell was his personal hero and after Micko rose majestically and plucked the ball from the sky and cleared it up the field for the fourth time in-a-row, Keevans turned around and says: "Well, d'ya know wha' it is Mick, I could stand here and look at ya all day!"

apologies for replying to my own story but the great Mr Keevans passed away the weekend before last and couldn't let that go without a mention. He was at a football game at the time when he had a turn for the worse.

One other story that I heard at the weekend. He was over the Under-12 football team in Gusserane in Wexford many years back and they were due to play the county final. Seamus went up to each of the boys and handed the a yellow pill and told them to 'swallow that but don't chew on it and if you do so, you will win the game'. They did what they were told (as most eleven year olds do) and they went out full of confidence and won the match. A few days later, Seamus' son Shay - who was on the team - went into his father's study and in a drawer he found countless boxes of smarties which Seamus had purchased. He had opened them all and taken the yellow smartie out of each one....simple but brilliant.

A great man who will be sorely missed.