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The Pregnancy Chat Thread!
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angeldelight wrote: »Fair play to you - we told our parents last night and were only just 5 weeks! You obviously have a much better ability to be sensible than us
Well, we had literally just decided to ttc, and it happened within 2 weeks, so we are completely in shock ourselves, and we know that none of our friends or family are expecting it, so we kind of don't want to deal with the shocked faces and questions we'll get! Which makes it some bit easier to keep it secret. Also we just want to wait at least until the 12 week scan before we tell our parents, as they would be obviously upset if we then had to come and tell them it wasn't viable/mmc/etc, I'd prefer to tell them in one go that I was pregnant but unfortunately it didn't work out, rather than letting weeks of excitement build up with them. I'm so considerate of others
My husband has this ideal scenario of getting to Christmas without telling anyone, and then really shocking them with a baby related present/announcement, which is generally motivating me quite well, but sometimes I just want to tell someone. I might tell my mum after the 12 week scan.0 -
spottybananas wrote: »Did any others here tell nobody, not even a parent, sibling or friend, until 12+ weeks? I just need some inspirational words to stop me from blabbing this and to keep it quiet a lot longer?
We managed to make it to 10 weeks before telling our parents. Our first scan wasn't until 13 and a half weeks so we wanted to leave it to closer to the time. We had lost my grandmother at Christmas so I wanted to avoid adding to their grief if something went wrong, I definitely felt safer after the 8 week mark. Though we did a couple of close friends when we found out or else we'd have burst!0 -
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spottybananas wrote: »Hi everyone,
I'm 6 weeks today, found out just about 2 weeks ago. We haven't told a soul, the first person to hear me actually say the words will be the doctor when I confirm it this week. We've so far avoided telling both sets of parents, our siblings, my best friend, his work colleagues...I have no idea how! I feel like I just want to tell one or two people, but I don't know who, the people I want to tell for support don't live nearby which is a pity. But at the same time we really want to wait as long as possible, just to be sure everything is ok and also for the fun of getting really far along without mentioning it, as his siblings have all announced it to everyone really early, like, 6-7 weeks. I will be telling one friend as she is coming to visit at 14 weeks (all going well) and we only see each other once every year or two!
Did any others here tell nobody, not even a parent, sibling or friend, until 12+ weeks? I just need some inspirational words to stop me from blabbing this and to keep it quiet a lot longer?
I was 17 weeks before I told anyone. I had a few reasons as to why. One was that my sister was getting married in March (I found out at the end of January) and didn't want to steal her thunder. Then she was away on honeymoon and it was my mother's 70th in the middle of April and we'd all be together again then so I/we decided to hold on until then.
Also on my inlaws side, my brother in laaw who also lives abroad was going to be home for Easter so we held on a week longer until telling them so everyone would be told at the same time and in person.
I was 19 weeks before I told work and if I could have held on longer there too I would have. Circumstances dictated otherwise but given that I stayed very small until I was 25 weeks I could have managed it.
It was lovely having such good news for just myself and my husband for so long. However, once we told peoplr and they were so genuinely happy and pleased for us I was delighted that they knew. It also allowed me turn to my mother (who had 6 of us) and my sisters for advice from their own experiences personally and professionally (one is a paediatric A&E nurse too) which was a great help at times.
One thing I didn't like about the news being public was the amount of people who try to tell you negative stories. Why people do that I just don't know. They should be avoided like the plague.
We did find out the gender of the baby at the 22 week scan but haven't told anyone that we did. It has been lovely to have one thing about the pregnancy and baby that is still such a positive secret just for us to share. That might sound silly but everything else (even your body at times!) becomes public property as your pregnancy advances it is nice to have something just for yourselves.0 -
Thanks Penny Dreadful. My big worry is that if we leave it ages to tell people that we see all the time (our parents and siblings and close friends) that one of us will slip up and mention something in a conversation and that that'll be how we tell them! Did you find that difficult at all, did you nearly say something at any stage? We have a lot of occasions coming up soon, some that I now won't be attending (more due to cost than anything, hen parties and stuff), and I'm thinking I'll say something like "Sure I won't be going anyway" and walk myself into it!
I'd also like to be able to get advice from people, there are a lot of new parents and people currently expecting in our circles. Tbh negative stories and stuff wouldn't bother me, I'm usually the negative person in any situation anyway
We'll just have to think about it and see what we want to do.0 -
spottybananas wrote: »Thanks Penny Dreadful. My big worry is that if we leave it ages to tell people that we see all the time (our parents and siblings and close friends) that one of us will slip up and mention something in a conversation and that that'll be how we tell them! Did you find that difficult at all, did you nearly say something at any stage? We have a lot of occasions coming up soon, some that I now won't be attending (more due to cost than anything, hen parties and stuff), and I'm thinking I'll say something like "Sure I won't be going anyway" and walk myself into it!
I'd also like to be able to get advice from people, there are a lot of new parents and people currently expecting in our circles. Tbh negative stories and stuff wouldn't bother me, I'm usually the negative person in any situation anyway
We'll just have to think about it and see what we want to do.
The day I found out was actually the Friday of the weekend of my sister's hen! Talk about timing. I made it through the weekend anyway with two glasses of wine only. I am a bit older than my sister so it was much more about her friends and their antics than me anyway so that was good.
I was feeling very tired and that too (which lasted for approx 14 weeks!) so I said I was coming down with a cold / sore throat and used that as my excuse to leave after dinner (12:30am) while the others continued on to the pub.
To be honest I'm not a big drinker anyway so not drinking a lot wasn't that big a deal for others.
At her wedding I was between 10 and 11 weeks and the only give away was the bigger boobs that unsual but I got away with that in my bridesmaids dress. All of the attention is on the bride all day anyway. I did half kill me to stay up until 02:30 and stay in my heels all day long though. Thankfully my husband was well primed and kept me busy with drinks (sparkling water that everyone assumed was a G&T I think) and sat with me when I needed a breather.
Other than that I did drop off the radar a bit in terms of seeing people and my family as much as usual but I just said that I was busy with work and other things. When I told them the good news they realised I'd been fibbing all along but were happy so the little white lies didn't matter then.
I'm a good secret keeper so staying quiet was ok, its hard because its a good news story but I managed with relative ease.
The negative stories are not pleasant. For the life of me I cannot understand why people would fill you full of horror stories of labour, go on about "your life is now over" silliness, etc etc. The people who do this have kids themselves, more than one more often than not, love them to bits and just can't be positive about things at all.
Your pregnancy journey, especially on your first, is a new and exciting experience. It is tiring at times, nauseating at times but wonderful at the same time. When you first see your baby on the scan, hear the heartbeat and feel it move makes the bad stuff fade into the back ground and its all worth it.
I'm 34+6 now and have SPD, back ache and slept properly last night for the first time in weeks and am getting to that stage where I'm ready to just have this baby NOW rather than be pregnant for much longer........and then my little baby tumbles around inside me and I smile and melt a little. It sounds sappy and I am not a sappy person but its the loveliest feeling. You have enough fears and concerns that come to you naturally without surrounding yourself with people who will add to them unnecessarily.
With regard to advice, especially if you're not telling others just yet, I have to say that this site and the threads on the parenting forum are a fountain of knowledge, help, advice, personal experience and fun too. Use them for all they are worth.
Select your reading material carefully. I used What to Expect and a book called Blooming Birth. Both were recommended by people on this site and I'd heard my sister talk about the last one. They are very good books and have a lot of easy to understand information.
Go to your GP. You don't have to pay for your visits while pregnant. Combined care is available to everyone whether public or private (I'm semi private in the Coombe btw). Write down the questions you'd like to have answered and don't be afraid to ask them. These will range from diet tips and suggestions, exercising, vitamins to take and avoid, things to look out for, etc etc.
You will need your GP letter to get an appointment with your hospital wherever it is so get working on that. You'll have your booking appointment with the hospital around 12 weeks or so (I saw my GP when I was 6 weeks pregnant and got my letter from him then and got my booking appointment at the Coombe when I was 13 almost 14 weeks pregnant). I had my initial dating scan then too. I was back at almost 16 weeks to see the consultant and had my anomoly scan just after 21 weeks.
If you leave it too long to see your GP and get the ball rolling on this you'll find you're further along in your pregnancy for various scans, etc.0 -
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The difference a week makes, gone are my pizza cravings & welcome to my fruit cravings.
Just bought Lidl out of their fruit, got in the door & ate my weight in grapes, they were delish
I don't have any cravings at all - just no appetite for anything! Hope I get some nice fruit cravings if I do get some though knowing my luck it'll be pizza all the way0 -
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Me again, I have a question
We were planning on booking an early scan next week at just over 8 weeks. But now my husbands day off has been changed to earlier in the week, meaning we'd have to book it for exactly 8 weeks. If we don't book it then we'll have to wait about another 2 weeks with our working hours/days off, and frankly that's just too long!
The scan place says they do them from 8 weeks onwards, but if we go right at the very start of that window of time is it possible that it would be too early to see a heartbeat if it is there (hopefully), and we'd waste €100 and face into a worse wait for a few more weeks? I see women on American pregnancy sites routinely getting scans from 4 weeks onwards and seeing heartbeats at 5, 6, 7 weeks which I thought was very early, but what do I know!0 -
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spottybananas wrote: »Me again, I have a question
We were planning on booking an early scan next week at just over 8 weeks. But now my husbands day off has been changed to earlier in the week, meaning we'd have to book it for exactly 8 weeks. If we don't book it then we'll have to wait about another 2 weeks with our working hours/days off, and frankly that's just too long!
The scan place says they do them from 8 weeks onwards, but if we go right at the very start of that window of time is it possible that it would be too early to see a heartbeat if it is there (hopefully), and we'd waste €100 and face into a worse wait for a few more weeks? I see women on American pregnancy sites routinely getting scans from 4 weeks onwards and seeing heartbeats at 5, 6, 7 weeks which I thought was very early, but what do I know!
I had scan with gp last week and i was 7.2 weeks and the heartbeat was visible but the doc was quite surprised to see it that early but she said that by 7.6 weeks it should be visible so a couple of days makes a big difference
best of luck which ever decision you make the wait is so difficult might be worth chancing going for it0 -
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Thanks everyone
Even the doctor was impressed that I knew within hours of when my period should've arrived, she was like "Yeah, that IS a long wait!". But then she comfortingly said "think of it this way, pregnancy is 40 weeks, and 6 of them are already gone", eep!
Myself and my husband can't quite bring ourselves to say the words pregnant, pregnancy, or baby yet. Today I had to ring to reschedule my annual smear test, I had to say "I am pregnant" and then she asked when I'm due the baby, it was all very surreal, like I'm just joking and will at any second burst out laughing and say "don't be silly, this is ME we're talking about!".0 -
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It's normal to be apprehensive but I can promise you that the moment you hold your bubba you will be absolutely fine. You'll be so consumed with love for your little one and instinct will take over so don't worry too much. Yes it's hard work and you're no longer putting yourself first but you actually won't care! Make the most of your last few weeks! Mr. Merkin and I went away to nice hotels, ate out a lot, went to gigs etc. and it's a great thing to do. Those last few weeks of it just being you and your partner are special too so make the most of it! 0
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