Peach Sh1t Roll

marco murphy

Who here buys Peach Toilet Roll I cant understand why.

With the white you know where you stand

Dennis the Stone

Sometimes you need a touch of class that only peach role can provide

John Mason

white but at christmas,i buy some with little reindeers and santa

joe_chicken

I only ever look at it after I've wiped... so no idea.

Rob_l

Peach

I only ever buy pink toilet roll

monkeyfudge

Black for me.

I like to live life on the edge!

Mossy Monk

Other O_O

I think I buy peach. Not sure though.

Terry

Peach

People buy different colours to match the tiles in their bathroom.
Seriously. I've tiled bathrooms and had people ask me what colour toilet paper I think would match the tiles.

Dave!

This sure is a sh*tty thread............................

Yeah I'll get my coat

jester77

bidet ftw!

Kintarō Hattori

Peach

Tesco Value Toilet Paper All The Way- and that only comes in one colour. Seriously, your wiping your botty with paper, I never understand the need to have that velvety soft paper only to flush it away.

jester77 wrote:

bidet ftw!

I'd love one, but you don't find many in modern apartments!

Rob_l

Peach

eo980 wrote:

Tesco Value Toilet Paper All The Way- and that only comes in one colour. Seriously, your wiping your botty with paper, I never understand the need to have that velvety soft paper only to flush it away.

My ass is sensitive that razor paper also known as tesco value makes my ass cry red tears

Dave!

eo980 wrote:

Tesco Value Toilet Paper All The Way- and that only comes in one colour. Seriously, your wiping your botty with paper, I never understand the need to have that velvety soft paper only to flush it away.


I'd love one, but you don't find many in modern apartments!

Well some paper hurts! I wouldn't pay top dollar, but bargain basement bog-roll leaves your bottom burning (or bleeding!).

That alliteration came to me straight away Its very good.

_blank_

Peach

Sandpaper ftw.

Nevyn

joe_chicken wrote:

I only ever look at it after I've wiped... so no idea.

Then how do you know your arse is clean ?

Seriously did yore ma not teach you to wipe, wipe, wipe and check to see if the
tissue is clean cos then you know your clean ?

Jayus if you don't you must have constant skidmarks.
Seriously it is one of the top 3 things stop you getting a blowjob.

marco murphy

Peach

Brillo Pads anyone?

Seriously, your wiping your botty with paper, I never understand the need to have that velvety soft paper only to flush it away.

Well theres nothing worse than wipin your hole with say industrial bulk pack toilet roll. So the need for velvetty feeling is paramount.

_blank_

Peach

Thaedydal wrote:

Then how do you know your arse is clean ?

Seriously did yore ma not teach you to wipe, wipe, wipe and check to see if the
tissue is clean cos then you know your clean ?

Jayus if you don't you must have constant skidmarks.
Seriously it is one of the top 3 things stop you getting a blowjob.

Er, he said he looked at it AFTER he wiped.

joe_chicken

Thaedydal wrote:

Jayus if you don't you must have constant skidmarks.

I likes me skidmarks.

Seriously though, how can you get confused from what is being wiped and the colour "peach", there must be some strange coloured shìts floating around.

Schism

Peach

Theres nothing wrong with a bit of luxury in the toilet paper department. I think its just cheap getting sandpaperesque* bog roll




*I declare this to be a new word.

AlmightyCushion

DesF wrote:

Sandpaper ftw.

Your own hand ftw. Gotta protect those trees.

_blank_

Peach

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Your own hand ftw. Gotta protect those trees.

True story.

I used to be in the scouts, many years ago.

We went for an aul camp in England one summer, and one fella caught a dose of the trots.

He was also the 'chef' for the weekend.

There was no bogroll available so he used his hand to remove the debris from his explosion from his person.

Needless to say, none of us ate that evening.

Terry

Peach

DesF wrote:

True story.

I used to be in the scouts, many years ago.

We went for an aul camp in England one summer, and one fella caught a dose of the trots.

He was also the 'chef' for the weekend.

There was no bogroll available so he used his hand to remove the debris from his explosion from his person.

Needless to say, none of us ate that evening.

That reminds me of a jamboree I was at once.

One of the lads took a dump near our tent and the scout master went mad. He was told to move the poop.

He used a shovel and latrer that night the scout master cooked some rashers on it.

AlmightyCushion

Terry wrote:

That reminds me of a jamboree I was at once.

One of the lads took a dump near our tent and the scout master went mad. He was told to move the poop.

He used a shovel and latrer that night the scout master cooked some rashers on it.

Pootastic.

marco murphy

Peach

Seriously it is one of the top 3 things stop you getting a blowjob.

Out of curiousity whats the other two?

admiralofthefleet

i only ever use that tesco value stuff, im not spending €12 on something thats only going to be used to clean my panda's eye

AlmightyCushion

Poblachtach wrote:

Out of curiousity whats the other two?

having no penis I would assume takes the top spot, with the other person having no mouth coming in a close second.

biko

Real men use sandpaper

AlmightyCushion

biko wrote:

Real men use sandpaper

So what do you use biko?

6th

Peach

True story: I know a guy who, when at a house party, noticed there was know roll so he used some sheets from a box of Bounce .... Blood&Blisters baby ... Blood&Blisters!

Ruu_Old

ChchchCharminnnn!

funk-you

Peach

I used to have a room-mate who'd keep a Northside people beside the toilet just in case. Same guy used his socks a couple of times.

Nice bloke but i'd never let him make me a sandwich.

-Funk

seamus

Terry wrote:

People buy different colours to match the tiles in their bathroom.
Seriously. I've tiled bathrooms and had people ask me what colour toilet paper I think would match the tiles.

Yep, I was 22 before I found that out. The other half gave out to me for buying blue toilet roll for a white bathroom and then had to explain to me why she was giving out.
Then I explained to her that colour coding my toilet was the least of my worries and I would continue buying whatever colour bog roll was close to hand/cheapest.

AlmightyCushion

I had to use a j cloth once. It wasn't that bad.

feylya

Just use a kitten. They're cheap and they clean themselves for reusability.

AlmightyCushion

Just use a kitten.

Isn't that what kittensoft is made out of?

Or you could use those cute little puppies of the andrex ad. I presume this is what andrex is made out of.

Redrocket

Other O_O

I have peach andrex toilet roll
The slogan on the pack said something like
"It's like wiping your bum with puppies" thats why i bought it

Schism

Peach

stevenk wrote:

I have peach andrex toilet roll
The slogan on the pack said something like
"It's like wiping your bum with puppies" thats why i bought it

If that doesn't sell toilet roll I don't know what will

Terry

Peach

Ruu wrote:

ChchchCharminnnn!

Those ads are genius.

A bear shítting in the woods.

FlutterinBantam

I was about to go down on a mott a few months ago and I noticed her kex were like a public soccer pitch goalmouth.

Kinda cooled my ardour a bit I'm afraid.

Most economical arse wipe is the set of jocks you have been wearing for the last few days.If you take a dump on day four,give 'em a quick swipe across the spider and into the wash,they are going in anyway;) .

Hmmm .. might send that suggestion into Womans Realm.

cance

ah feck that,

whenever at a free house, use the hand towel to wipe, comfort and hilarity :eek:

big b

irishbird wrote:

white but at christmas,i buy some with little reindeers and santa

Do you do the same with feminine sanitary products?.......for the Festive period......................

cance

big b wrote:

for the Festive period......................

get your coat

Ishmael

Meh, i just buy whatever make has the most rolls in the one packet.

prendy

Peach

a slice of loaf has been known to do the trick...so long as its fresh!!!

Snake Plisken

Other O_O

Yeah but don't you find that the more expensive stuff absorbs more sh1te especially after a night on the black stuff, the cheapo smooth stuff just spreads it around down there, I've actually bought a box of those wet ass wipes with lavender for the first wipe and use the soft tesco's peach paper to dry up

FlutterinBantam

here's a tip for free.

Any of those spray cleaners..Mr Muscle,Shower Cleaners, etc.. when the container is empty, rinse it out and refill with luke warm water-dash of washing up liquid optional- after a dump bend down, and two or three squarts on the nipsy, plus a gentle wipe, has her shining like a freshly minted one euro coin.

Check it out!!

ejmaztec

A late uncle of mine shared some lodgings in England with a couple of Mayo lads. He told me that, following a Mayo tradition, they used a handful of grass and constantly blocked the toilet.

Is this still a tradition in those parts?

Dara Robinson

Peach

joe_chicken wrote:

I only ever look at it after I've wiped... so no idea.

PMSL

de5p0i1er

Peach

It's all the same when your done wiht it so whats it matter.

Nevyn

Well the white stuff has had to be bleached to fúck which is harsher on the enviroment both in terms of it being produced and after it is flused.

Gaz

sometimes you get lucky though and have one of them phantom shίts, nothing in the bowel and nothing on the paper , very little paper or wiping required ... best for the enviroment and all that