Weddings abroad-too dear for friends and family?

NiamhB

Hi there,

just wondering what people think of the new craze for bride and groom to marry abroad. Does anyone else know couples that have asked you to join them for their holiday in Hawaii, Austrailia or the like? Do the cost factors measure up? All thoughts appreciated...

Eoin

We've been asked to go to a wedding in Austria next year. It will obviously be expensive, but we're happy to go - just means that it's our main holiday for the year. We wouldn't be able for another foreign wedding in the same year though.

"New Craze" makes it sound like a fad, which I think is a little dismissive of the problem in Ireland (I know the rules are changing soon) where if you're not keen on a Church wedding then you're left with a registry office ceremony which isn't for a lot of people.

I doubt that a reasonable couple would begrudge a guest if they said they couldn't afford it.

Tim Robbins

NiamhB wrote:

Hi there,

just wondering what people think of the new craze for bride and groom to marry abroad. Does anyone else know couples that have asked you to join them for their holiday in Hawaii, Austrailia or the like? Do the cost factors measure up? All thoughts appreciated...

Q. Weddings abroad-too dear for friends and family?
A. Yes, unless your family and friends are well off and don't mind splashing out extra cssh.

Scoobydoobydoo

I wouldn't go to Australia or anywhere else distant. I am going to a wedding in Italy next year, but only because it's my best friend, and we are basing our holiday around that.
A lot of people opt for going abroad to keep costs down, for the weather, and some feel it's more romantic or exotic.

I would have been interested in getting married in France or Scotland maybe, but my father-in-law is very frail and can't even get on a train, never mind a plane.

The cost depends on where you're going etc.

It also might be worth considering that some people are very anxious about flying - I am, which means we are driving to Tuscany!

forbairt

As was said ... it depends on your family and friends whether its too dear or not ...

You're asking them to book flights to X ...
You're asking them to organise accommodation ...

If you're asking for a present as well you're being cheeky in my opinion ...

We had our wedding in france ... but gave people plenty of warning .. as such they turned it into a holiday ... drove around france ... or hung out with us for the few days before and after the wedding ... and I hope they had a good time .. some people couldn't come ... cus of the cost but we knew that this would possibley be an issue for some before hand ...

I think asking someone to go to the other side of the planet is plain stupidity unless you don't expect them to come ... or you, your friends and family are all very well off ...

You can get to Rome for example cheaply enough ... probaly 100 quid or there abouts and taxes ... and cost of a hotel room for lets say 3 nights would probably set you back around 200 ish ... add to that meals and so on .. and you're asking people to spend 400 quid at least ... if they are making a holiday out of it well and good .. if not .. then its quite a lot of money to spend on your special day

Kintarō Hattori

I know when myself and the SO get married it'll be in Poland. It would be financially easier for my family and friends to go to Poland than it would be for her family to come to Ireland. Plus my family and friends get a cheap holiday too.

Tim Robbins

eo980 wrote:

I know when myself and the SO get married it'll be in Poland. It would be financially easier for my family and friends to go to Poland than it would be for her family to come to Ireland. Plus my family and friends get a cheap holiday too.

Sounds reasonable. The Wedding can't be in Poland and Ireland so if you are to the cheaper place that sounds very fair.

In response to other posts,
I don't think it's fair to expect your friends to organise their holidays around your wedding. They may not want to go where you are having your wedding for your holiday.
Most people only get 20 days off a year and are doing well to pay their morgage and get away from work, have a holiday and relax. So I think it is presumptuous to think your friends will just arrange their holidays around your wedding and be happy with it.

I think the issue here is usally the Bridzilla wants something incredible special. Does this then mean everyone should have to arrange their annual holidays and savings? I don't think it should, it's just excessive self indulgence.

Scoobydoobydoo

Tim Robbins wrote:

In response to other posts,
I don't think it's fair to expect your friends to organise their holidays around your wedding. They may not want to go where you are having your wedding for your holiday.
Most people only get 20 days off a year and are doing well to pay their morgage and get away from work, have a holiday and relax. So I think it is presumptuous to think your friends will just arrange their holidays around your wedding and be happy with it.

I agree with Tim, you can't expect people to organise their holidays around your wedding.
We are only doing this because this is my best friend's wedding and also we would like to see Italy because we haven't been before.

However, if she was getting married somewhere I didn't want to go to then I would have to think twice about it.

Kintarō Hattori

Yep I have to agree with Tim as well.

DO0GLE

Nice idea to have a wedding abroad but wrong to put people under such financial pressure.
Couples getting married now are loosing the plot. Its the norm now to give someone an engagement present, then go abroad for the stag/hen do, then buy new clothes for the big day, then give a wedding present, then stay the full weekend of the wedding in the hotel..... it all costs a small fortune

Tim Robbins

DO0GLE wrote:

Nice idea to have a wedding abroad but wrong to put people under such financial pressure.
Couples getting married now are loosing the plot. Its the norm now to give someone an engagement present, then go abroad for the stag/hen do, then buy new clothes for the big day, then give a wedding present, then stay the full weekend of the wedding in the hotel..... it all costs a small fortune

If it's true love, there should be no need for everyone to have to re-arrange the holidays and spend a fortune to make it special day.
I really think some people are trying to show off by having elaborate weddings.
What makes these situations even worse is that it's generally couples that get invited to the wedding. Only one member of the couple may know the bride or groom well enough to spend the extra money incured in going abroad and re-arrange holidays. The other because they don't know them or like them, may feel hard done by. The other member may simply have to go because they were invited but the bride and groom may not even know them.

This put stress in their own relationship. Some couples may think it's fine that only one goes to the wedding abroad others may think both should go because the other couples are all both going, and them going on their own sends out a single. Now becasue invariably both members of the couple have to go the cost to go goes up even higher.
We are now talking two grand instead of one grand.

Personally, I love to see other people's happiness but I would prefer to put some money aside for own my kids or for a rainy day than have to spend a grand here and grand there to go to other people's weddings.

I don't earn a lot and frankly I would prefer to put that amount of money in a saving account for a rainy day instead of some p*ss up in an Italian or Spanish village.

We can't moan about rip off Ireland and tolerate these ridiculous extortionate weddings. I mean how often do you see a German couple getting married in some quaint Irish village, bringing a 100 Germans over with them.

Irish people - please cop on.

MooseJam

my brother is getting married in Portugal next year, it's not a major expense flights are fairly cheap and board is paid for in the deal

dame

Tim Robbins wrote:

We can't moan about rip off Ireland and tolerate these ridiculous extortionate weddings. I mean how often do you see a German couple getting married in some quaint Irish village, bringing a 100 Germans over with them.

Irish people - please cop on.

That's the thing. I think most Irish people who opt for a wedding abroad do so because they want to cut out the excess, and yes, that includes the excess people. Do you really need to invite people you worked with 3 years ago and have barely been in touch with since, or the second cousins that the parents think would be mortally offended if they didn't get an invite? That's the way Irish weddings are but frankly; if you're not a parent, sibling or very long-term best friend then you shouldn't even think twice about refusing a wedding invite if you don't want to go or can't afford it.

Also, I know a friend of mine who went abroad to get married who verbally invited people (just to be polite while not expecting them to go) and was shocked when they rang her up weeks later to ask for an accommodation list!

Guy:Incognito

People are always saying its too dear to get married in Ireland then go away with 10 or 15 people and get married, saying how cheap is. Thing is your comparing a wedding for close friends and relatives to a full blown all in wedding here, too different things imo.

forbairt

Stekelly wrote:

People are always saying its too dear to get married in Ireland then go away with 10 or 15 people and get married, saying how cheap is. Thing is your comparing a wedding for close friends and relatives to a full blown all in wedding here, too different things imo.

There were 80 ish at ours .. and for what we got for the money it was truely amazing ... some of the best veggie food I've had in my life (yes as the groom I went for the veggie option... not being a veggie as such .. ) ..

Champagne for the toast was a hell of a lot cheaper and nicer ... no corkage fee ... we ended up throwing on our own little bar ... on a help yourself basis which everyone enjoyed .... brought a load of guinness (cans) from ireland as well only to find out it was cheaper to buy it in the supermarkets there The wine was so much cheaper than here as well ...

Yes people had to go over ... but ... we said we understood if they didn't want to / couldn't make it ... not too many came from ireland ut a hell of a lot of my friends who are in the rest of europe did ..

Tim Robbins

dame wrote:

That's the thing. I think most Irish people who opt for a wedding abroad do so because they want to cut out the excess, and yes, that includes the excess people. Do you really need to invite people you worked with 3 years ago and have barely been in touch with since, or the second cousins that the parents think would be mortally offended if they didn't get an invite?

That's a rubbish excuse. Just don't invite them. I have never heard anyone giving out because someone had a small Wedding.

Tim Robbins

Stekelly wrote:

People are always saying its too dear to get married in Ireland then go away with 10 or 15 people and get married, saying how cheap is. Thing is your comparing a wedding for close friends and relatives to a full blown all in wedding here, too different things imo.

I am talking about Weddings abroad where 80+ people are invited. 80+ people all spending a grand that's 80,000. Yes it's a bit of waste really isn't it.

pow wow

I think couples who get married abroad are pretty much expecting that not a whole lot of people will travel for it - and many have pseudo receptions when they get back to make up for it.

It's be extremely selfish to get annoyed at anyone for 'not coming' when they are essentially spending a small fortune to follow you and watch you marry whoever.

Friends of mine who did it overseas (Dominican Republic and Italy mainly) did it precisely because they knew it would be small and intimate....and then had huge receptions when they got back.

Tim Robbins

ellscurr wrote:

I think couples who get married abroad are pretty much expecting that not a whole lot of people will travel for it - and many have pseudo receptions when they get back to make up for it.

It's all fine if they want a very small wedding. But if that's the case they should not invite loads of people. It's a very awkard position to have to turn down a wedding invitation purely for finacial reasons. It's akin to saying:
The Bride and Groom that you were a good enough friend to get an invite, but the person(s) didn't think the Bride and Groom were a good enough friend to justify going.

If the Bride and Groom are trying to shift the burden of them not wanting a big wedding to their friends having to turn down an expensive wedding, that's not fair. They should just not invite them.
The only weddings I know off abroad are 80+ or 100+. That's hardly small.

dame

Tim Robbins wrote:

That's a rubbish excuse. Just don't invite them. I have never heard anyone giving out because someone had a small Wedding.

I know, that's what I'm saying....go abroad and that avoids the whole inviting people out of politeness or a feeling of obligation. I've never heard someone give out because someone had a small wedding either, but I have heard people give out because they weren't invited, but so-and-so was, or that couple had gone to their wedding a year or two before. I also agree that going abroad and bringing 80 people is ridiculous, might as well just do the Irish wedding thing at home.

I was pointing out to you though that you shouldn't feel that you have to go and have to fork out a grand for the privilege. You can decline you know. You don't even need to explain anything but if you want you can always blame work, holidays booked already etc.

Tim Robbins

dame wrote:

I was pointing out to you though that you shouldn't feel that you have to go and have to fork out a grand for the privilege. You can decline you know. You don't even need to explain anything but if you want you can always blame work, holidays booked already etc.

Yes I have turned down weddings both in Ireland and abroad.
I don't feel I have to go, but I have felt in a very awkard situation.

It's human nature to want to do anything you can for any mate you have and ever had. Also, if your partner gets invited to one you have no interest in going to - how do you turn that down?
You could find yourself in the war room, because everyone else's partner is going.

Also it's not a nice feeling when your peer group can afford to splash their cash while you have to worry about your pennies.
Why do social events between friend have to favour the richer ones?
Is that fair?

It's not simple and people are put in very awkard situations because the capitalist fashion is now to go completly over the top at these things.

The total amount of money spent by all people at the Irish Wedding is well over 100K no matter where it is. Enough to feed an African village for a year and enough to keep 100 Irish Celtic tiger heads entertained for a night.

Pathetic really.

Theboinkmaster

Tim Robbins wrote:

Yes I have turned down weddings both in Ireland and abroad.
I don't feel I have to go, but I have felt in a very awkard situation.

It's human nature to want to do anything you can for any mate you have and ever had. Also, if your partner gets invited to one you have no interest in going to - how do you turn that down?
You could find yourself in the war room, because everyone else's partner is going.

Also it's not a nice feeling when your peer group can afford to splash their cash while you have to worry about your pennies.
Why do social events between friend have to favour the richer ones?
Is that fair?

It's not simple and people are put in very awkard situations because the capitalist fashion is now to go completly over the top at these things.

The total amount of money spent by all people at the Irish Wedding is well over 100K no matter where it is. Enough to feed an African village for a year and enough to keep 100 Irish Celtic tiger heads entertained for a night.

Pathetic really.

Tim I think that's a bit of a sweeping statement, where'd you get €100k from?! It sounds like you have a massive chip on your shoulder.......

I'm all for spending €20k on a small intimate wedding abroud in somewhere like Italy/Spain and only invite immediate family and friends, maybe 30 guests

Wouldn't expect any presents of any kind and would hope to pay for 2 nights accomodation

Part of my reasoning for this is I hate current weddings in Ireland - people seem to easily forget what the true point is whereas if you go abroad you cut out all the politics and have just those that matter. Intimate is the key not 100 guests IMHO

Tim Robbins

Theboinkmaster wrote:

Tim I think that's a bit of a sweeping statement, where'd you get €100k from?! It sounds like you have a massive chip on your shoulder.......

I'm all for spending €20k on a small intimate wedding abroud in somewhere like Italy/Spain and only invite immediate family and friends, maybe 30 guests

Wouldn't expect any presents of any kind and would hope to pay for 2 nights accomodation

Part of my reasoning for this is I hate current weddings in Ireland - people seem to easily forget what the true point is whereas if you go abroad you cut out all the politics and have just those that matter. Intimate is the key not 100 guests IMHO

Where did I get 100K from?

Say, 100 people are invited to a wedding.
50 girls, 50 blokes.
50 girls spend an average of 500 each = 25,000
50 blokes spend an average of 400 each = 20,000
Couple spend 15K.
So total amount spent is 60K.

Say 200 are invited to a wedding.
100 girls, 100 blokes.
100 girls spend an average of 500 each = 50,000
100 bloke spend an average of 400 each = 40,000
Couple spend 25K
Total spend is 115K

Why do I have cheap on my shoulder, I just that's extortionate.
I agree intimacy is probably a better option. small, cheap and special.

Noelie

Tim,

I don't see where you're getting your figures from. I think like has been said before you've the hump about something.

I've been to four weddings this year and neither myself nor my fiancee have spent anywhere near €900 combined in attending them. Iassume you're including the cost of the gift in your numbers but they still seem off

Dodge

Getting married in the Carribean next year. At the start it was just gong to be the two of us but some family members going now. We’ve a fairly large group of friends and I wouldn’t expect anybody to pay that much money for my wedding (as I wouldn’t be prepared to pay that for theirs tbh). We’ve told everybody the dates, venue and have told them they’re more than welcome to come but there’s no pressure. We’re having a “reception” when we come home

hunnymonster

I've never been to a wedding abroad but if I was me getting married, I would assume I would be paying the costs for anyone I invited to travel. Hotel, transfer and flights at least. I wouldn't like to ask someone to an event and have it cost them more than it would at home. I do like the idea of a wedding abroad though. The big Irish thing just doesn't appeal to me anymore.

Tim Robbins

Noelie wrote:

Tim,

I don't see where you're getting your figures from. I think like has been said before you've the hump about something.

I've been to four weddings this year and neither myself nor my fiancee have spent anywhere near €900 combined in attending them. Iassume you're including the cost of the gift in your numbers but they still seem off

If anything my figures are underestimated. I did a survey in a few other threads.

Some girls, e.g. Dame buy a new Dress for every Weddng at an estimate of 300 euro, but others don't. i think Dame estimated the average Irish Wedding for her was between 600 - 700 Euro, however others wouldn't bother buying a new dress for every wedding so the average for women was 500.

The cost includes present as well as hotel room, drink etc. Everything.

I didn't include hen's / stag.

Why not debate constructively instead of personal abuse saying I've a "hump". Go p8ss off if that's how you think you can speak to me.

Tim Robbins

Dodge wrote:

Getting married in the Carribean next year. At the start it was just gong to be the two of us but some family members going now. We’ve a fairly large group of friends and I wouldn’t expect anybody to pay that much money for my wedding (as I wouldn’t be prepared to pay that for theirs tbh). We’ve told everybody the dates, venue and have told them they’re more than welcome to come but there’s no pressure. We’re having a “reception” when we come home

Nice idea. Can I just say though "no pressure" isn't something scientifically measured? They may feel under pressure and awkard to say it to you.

So you may be 100% correct there is "no pressure" but you could also be deluded. It's hard to say "no" sometimes.

dame

Tim Robbins wrote:

Some girls, e.g. Dame buy a new Dress for every Weddng at an estimate of 300 euro, but others don't.

I never said I buy a new dress for every wedding. And, once again, an outfit could cost 300, not a dress alone. Learn to comprehend and absorb what you're reading. Brushing up on your accurate recall skills might be no harm either.

Tim Robbins

dame wrote:

I never said I buy a new dress for every wedding. And, once again, an outfit could cost 300, not a dress alone. Learn to comprehend and absorb what you're reading. Brushing up on your accurate recall skills might be no harm either.

Correct, the implication was more than a dress, it was a complete outfit for each Irish Wedding.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055156219

The Jones are obviously checking out handbags and shoes as well these days.

Dodge

Tim Robbins wrote:

Nice idea. Can I just say though "no pressure" isn't something scientifically measured? They may feel under pressure and awkard to say it to you.

So you may be 100% correct there is "no pressure" but you could also be deluded. It's hard to say "no" sometimes.

Agree with that but the fact that they knew our intial intention was No friends/family helped clarify it for them (I think)

Tim Robbins

Dodge wrote:

Agree with that but the fact that they knew our intial intention was No friends/family helped clarify it for them (I think)

I like the (I think) shows at least you think and question.

iguana

Please try and calm it down everyone, I don't want to lock another thread.

Tim, while your figures may be accurate for some weddings they aren't for all. I got married in London last year. Basically because we live here and as our friends and family are in Limerick, Dublin and London no matter where we got married 2/3's of our friends would be traveling so we chose the best place for us. We spent £500 on the ceremony, about £150 on our outfits, £650 on food and drink and had the reception in our house. Our biggest cost was about £650 on the rings which we bought from a jewelery recycling company as we wanted platinum and that is harshly mined.

While our non-London guests had to fly here and stay in a hotel that cost roughly £150 per couple but there was no cost at the wedding as we bought all the drink. And we asked for no presents from friends asking for a donation to Oxfam's south Asian earthquake appeal instead. I'm sure plenty of them bought new outfits, but that was their choice not mine. I specifically told people to wear whatever they wanted, and if that was their old tracksuit then fine. We also chose to get married the weekend of the Nottinghill Carnival as we new some of our friends would like to go so they could make double use of the trip. I'd say the total cost to everyone including ourselves was under £6500/€10,000. Which is still terrifying when you think about it.

However I don't think Tim has a chip on his shoulder in anyway. He has said he can not afford extravagant weddings. (And let's be honest with the level of consumer debt in our country, neither can most people.) Big weddings do put people under pressure to go, nobody wants to miss their friends wedding, nobody wants to be talked about as being a miserable old miser. But some people can actually not afford €300 on a gift and €200 on a hotel. It might be the couples day, but they also have to think about other people. I've seen threads on here where people do expect large money gifts in order to pay for their wedding costs and I don't think that is right at all.

Dodge

Tim Robbins wrote:

I like the (I think) shows at least you think and question.

Yep and I also talk to most about it. I'm fairly confident I know how they feel on the issue. But only an idiot would assume they're correct all the time

dame

Tim Robbins wrote:

Correct, the implication was more than a dress, it was a complete outfit for each Irish Wedding.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055156219

The Jones are obviously checking out handbags and shoes as well these days.

Nope, there was no each wedding about it. Once again, Timothy, back to english comprehension with you.

dame

I agree with iguana, people expecting (and even asking for) cash gifts with the idea that it will pay for their wedding is ridiculous, and I've said so in this forum many times. Eddie Hobbs almost made it acceptable for couples to ask more people to the wedding (purely to make up numbers) and then expect and ask for cash gifts only.

However, we've seen from other threads that attending a wedding in Ireland is expensive also, in some cases it can be more expensive than attending a wedding abroad (obviously depending on where the wedding is etc.). If people want to have a small wedding abroad and invite only close family then what's the problem? Especially if the bride and groom pay for 2 nights accommodation for the guests or else pay for flights? Also, with ours "Your presence is our present" and only immediate relatives and a couple of our closest friends. Who else do you need there? Personally, I think couples getting married in the Carribean might as well just invite the guests on their honeymoon altogether as it really is too far away for people to pop out for a weekend. (And think of the carbon footprint! :eek: ). It's fine for just themselves and immediate family, but expecting or even asking anyone else to go that far away is a bit much (but that's just my personal opinion).

Finally, yes, Irealand (and most of the developed world) is quite consumerist. However, it is up to the individual to choose how to spend their money. They can spend more on attending weddings and less on a car or they can spend more on their mostgage and less on attending weddings if they like. Whatever. That's up to them. Talk of feeling "pressured" to attend a wedding somewhere foreign (or in Ireland) is a cop out. Big boys and girls can make up their own minds about it. After all, if the wedding is of somebody really close to you, then you'll know about it so far in advance that you should be quite well able to save up and go, assuming you do want to go, and most couples will pay at least part of the cost for people flying out. Trying to put the guilts on any couple who don't want the typical Irish wedding by saying "it's too dear for friends and family" is just sour grapes.

Some people like the big Irish wedding with 300 or so acquaintances admiring their wedding frock for the day, other people would rather have a small intimate wedding where they have much more choice in location, food, music, etc. Live and let live people.

miju

personally I think its a bit bloody selfish and unless your family is well off your effectively choosing peoples holiday for the year for them.

my other half is a bridesmaid for her friends wedding in Lanzarote next year, thats gonna cost us at least 1k and we've been there twice before so have no reason to return anytime soon. course the bride isn't even offering anything towards her bridesmaid costs and is effectively foisting they're wedding costs on to other people which is complete balls as far as im concerned

Dodge

miju wrote:

personally I think its a bit bloody selfish and unless your family is well off your effectively choosing peoples holiday for the year for them.

my other half is a bridesmaid for her friends wedding in Lanzarote next year, thats gonna cost us at least 1k and we've been there twice before so have no reason to return anytime soon...

And you're not being the slightest bit selfish with that type of comment? WOuld you think the same if the wedding was in Galway or Kerry? You only have to be in Lanzarote for a couple of days

miju

miju wrote:

personally I think its a bit bloody selfish and unless your family is well off your effectively choosing peoples holiday for the year for them.

my other half is a bridesmaid for her friends wedding in Lanzarote next year, thats gonna cost us at least 1k and we've been there twice before so have no reason to return anytime soon. course the bride isn't even offering anything towards her bridesmaid costs and is effectively foisting they're wedding costs on to other people which is complete balls as far as im concerned

Does she have to be a bridesmaid? Not trying to be smart but she can say thanks but no thanks.

I've declined wedding invitations in the past. I can't understand why people get the hump over having to fork out for someone else's wedding when they can always make their excuses and not attend.
There's a million good excuses for not attending a wedding abroad in particular.

miju

Dodge wrote:

And you're not being the slightest bit selfish with that type of comment? WOuld you think the same if the wedding was in Galway or Kerry? You only have to be in Lanzarote for a couple of days

how on earth is it being selfish? you go and price Lanzarote for a couple of days and you'll still see it's quite a large cost for two people. as for declining the invitation , the mere suggestion to the other half that we / I not attend resulted in a nice big row as "she can't turn down her friend and can't go on her own etc , etc"

Also, Galway / Kerry is not the same as Lanzarote theres a massive difference between driving somewhere & paying for a room for a night in Ireland and flying to a foreign country. To give you an example a hotel room here for two nights would cost you in the region of at most €300 for a weekend. Now compare that with €1,200 for a week in Lanzarote (if you only go for 3 days or so the costs actually go up on the flights & accomation) before spending money etc , theres a big bloody difference and I think calling me selfish is so wide of the mark it's not even funny

Tim Robbins

dame wrote:

Nope, there was no each wedding about it. Once again, Timothy, back to english comprehension with you.

Title of thread was:
"Average Wedding cost in Ireland".
You detailed your "average" cost. You understand the word "average" yeah?

Furthermore, post number 3 from your good self included:

"Clothes tend to be more formal and more expensive for women attending weddings in Ireland. You can get away with a nice summer dress (that you'll wear again) when you're going to a wedding abroad."

The implication is you only "wear a dress again" if the Wedding is abroad.

Tim Robbins

miju wrote:

how on earth is it being selfish? you go and price Lanzarote for a couple of days and you'll still see it's quite a large cost for two people. as for declining the invitation , the mere suggestion to the other half that we / I not attend resulted in a nice big row as "she can't turn down her friend and can't go on her own etc , etc"

Also, Galway / Kerry is not the same as Lanzarote theres a massive difference between driving somewhere & paying for a room for a night in Ireland and flying to a foreign country. To give you an example a hotel room here for two nights would cost you in the region of at most €300 for a weekend. Now compare that with €1,200 for a week in Lanzarote (if you only go for 3 days or so the costs actually go up on the flights & accomation) before spending money etc , theres a big bloody difference and I think calling me selfish is so wide of the mark it's not even funny

I am with Miju on this one. Here Miju is in situation which is very difficult to say no too. Take note Dame, it's not always easy to get out of these situations.

Miju, I hear your pain. It is ridiculoius that you have to organise your savings and your holidays around someone else's extortionate ideas about themselves. The part that really annoys me is they make it very difficult for you to say no too.

dame

Tim Robbins wrote:

Title of thread was:
"Average Wedding cost in Ireland".
You detailed your "average" cost. You understand the word "average" yeah?

Furthermore, post number 3 from your good self included:

"Clothes tend to be more formal and more expensive for women attending weddings in Ireland. You can get away with a nice summer dress (that you'll wear again) when you're going to a wedding abroad."

The implication is you only "wear a dress again" if the Wedding is abroad.

"That you will wear again" on any summer day, not "that you will wear again" at a wedding. More formal clothes are not suitable for everyday wear. You do understand that surely, or are you the type who wears a suit to the beach and for a bbq in the back garden? :rolleyes: Don't bother answering. Most people grew fed up with you and your whingeing long ago.


Miju is an different position to most people with regard to attending this wedding. Most brides will pay for their bridesmaid's dress, makeup, hair, shoes, flowers, etc. Whatever's needed really. Not many brides are quite that stingey with their bridesmaid's (at least none I've ever come across).

iguana

Tim and Dame. If ye want to keep on arguing take it to pm. I'm leaving the thread open as other people may still want to discuss the issue.

DO0GLE

Think there are a few Bridezillas here who have been offended!!

Tim Robbins

iguana wrote:

Tim and Dame. If ye want to keep on arguing take it to pm. I'm leaving the thread open as other people may still want to discuss the issue.

Hi Iguana,
I think there is a very valid debate / discussion on how much is too much w.r.t. all aspects of weddings.
I think that debate should be allowed to take place. We should be allowed question and discuss these issues. But it should be a debate not personal insults. I am trying to get Dame to stick to the issues who seems to prefer firing personal insult when corned on any point.
Did someone else say: "Bridezilla"?
Regards

dame

Dear iguana,

There is a poster called Tim Robbins who likes to complain about people insulting him, when actually they are only returning the compliments. Perhaps a gentle suggestion to not give what you can't take might be in order? By the way, if the Bridezillas are offended then maybe they will learn something from this "debate". :rolleyes: However, there is no "debating" with people who cannot understand what they are reading :rolleyes: and who deliberately misinterpret information (the little bits that they do manage to read) for their own ends. Perhaps certain posters should be asked to depart from this particular forum and move over to the political forum instead? Their particular "skills" would be very well suited to a small-time crooked politician!

miju

FFS lads what part of take it to PM didn't you understand?

dame

Tim Robbins wrote:

Hi Iguana,
I think there is a very valid debate / discussion on how much is too much w.r.t. all aspects of weddings.
I think that debate should be allowed to take place. We should be allowed question and discuss these issues. But it should be a debate not personal insults. I am trying to get Dame to stick to the issues who seems to prefer firing personal insult when corned on any point.
Did someone else say: "Bridezilla"?
Regards

?? I don't believe I've ever been corned on a point yet!

dame

miju wrote:

FFS lads what part of take it to PM didn't you understand?

If someone keeps posting "about me" then I will reply. You should address the not understanding issue to someone else.....;)

iguana

I have no problem with reasonable debate on the costs of weddings, and the problems this may incur on guests. But this is the second thread in a week which has turned into a slanging match, forcing me to lock the thread and that means that nobody else gets to discuss the issue.

If it happens again, on any thread I am going to start handing out bans.