Arkward situation read g/f e-mail

LegacyUser

Been going out with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now. (I'm 26 she's 29)The other day she never logged out of her e-mails, so when i went to log in to my account her inbox popped up. The first e-mail i saw was from a guy she had met on her travels(know i should of had the respect and trust not to open it but i presume most people would have done the same thing in my situation) for a year. Went through a few more and saw that she had planned to meet up with this guy(French) for weekend comming up. Can't get this out of my head at the moment. Haven't been able to sleep for the last couple of nights. If she loves me then why would she wan't to meet up with this guy. What is the best way to go about this.Can't really confront her because then she will know i went through her e-mails.Also the weekend she had planned to meet this guy she will be away for some of that weekend but she did not sent him any e-mails confirming that she would meet up or she might do that in the next couple of days. Any suggestions would be great at moment i feel like ending it also find this extremely hypocritical as we discussed cheating and all that and she said she never would.

Chinafoot

She's meeting up with a guy she met when she was travelling. How does that automatically equate to cheating? Was there any evidence of romantic involvement in the emails?

I went travelling for a year and met a lot of people of both sexes that I still keep in contact with and visit. There's nothing romantic in any of those situations and you shouldn't assume your girlfriend is any different. I'm guessing you haven't done the whole year away thing, because if you had I doubt you'd be this paranoid.

Chances are she'll tell you about this guy when she has it all confirmed. Don't go snooping in her emails again.

WellyJ

Organise a nice weekend away with her this weekend and see if she mentions it.

If she seems happy about it then good,

If she tries to make excuses not to go away then its dodgy.

LegacyUser

Yes there was some romantic e-mails,(lots if xxx and a Valentines e-mail) come on Chinafoot are you saying if you were in the same situation you won't be at all curious about reading that e-mail. She's already away that weekend (Welly) his around, so can't oraganise anything, had thought of that already.

CathyMoran

My best friend is male, I meet up with him whenever he is in Ireland not always with my husband and there is nothing in it. She is entitled to male friends. To end your relationship over this would not be a good idea.

is_that_so

I have a very good female friend I have known for years. I also get on well with her husband and family. We have even headed off on holidays together alone with no big deal. Think the OP needs to take a deep breath here. I have a number of female friends who will happily put XXX at the end of an email without even thinking about it. It doesn't mean anything unless you want it to. Talk to her about her travels and who she met. If he is just a friend it will come out.

biko

A lot of females puts "xxx" and "huggles" and such in texts and mails.

dulpit

Most girls I know throw in a million and one xxx's at the end of emails... From my reading she's going to meet up with someone that she met while travelling, is this cheating or anything? No.

You'll have to respect her & trust her here I'd say... If she was meeting up with a girl she had been travelling with for a year for drinks would you be suspicious? No...

LegacyUser

Yes she briefly talked about this guy thats how i recognised his name, they were with each other for a couple of months.

Beetlebum

Ballsofsituat wrote:

Been going out with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now. (I'm 26 she's 29)The other day she never logged out of her e-mails, so when i went to log in to my account her inbox popped up. The first e-mail i saw was from a guy she had met on her travels(know i should of had the respect and trust not to open it but i presume most people would have done the same thing in my situation) for a year. Went through a few more and saw that she had planned to meet up with this guy(French) for weekend comming up. Can't get this out of my head at the moment. Haven't been able to sleep for the last couple of nights. If she loves me then why would she wan't to meet up with this guy. What is the best way to go about this.Can't really confront her because then she will know i went through her e-mails.Also the weekend she had planned to meet this guy she will be away for some of that weekend but she did not sent him any e-mails confirming that she would meet up or she might do that in the next couple of days. Any suggestions would be great at moment i feel like ending it also find this extremely hypocritical as we discussed cheating and all that and she said she never would.[/QUOTE

You ask the question - If she loves me why would she wanna meet up with this guy? Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds?!! She met him while travelling and maybe they wanna reminisce about their adventures. They could have formed a good friendship and she might just wanna meet him for a friendly pint! I'm a girl but all my friends are guys, I'm not sleeping with any of them or even attracted to any of them for that matter, we're just friends!. Is your gf not allowed to have male friends? Clearly you have trust issues with her anyway seeing as you read her mails in the first place. Grow up & get all the facts before you start working yourself up so much. It could and most likely is, completely innocent. Sleepless nights based on f*ck all facts? Whhooooooaaaaa....

cowzerp

My suspicion is that she's meeting up with her french fling for a bit of a reunion, if this fella was just a friend she would of mentioned him, are you sure this weekend she's having away is not a dirty weekend with him and that she is pretending to be doing something else, sorry to be so blunt but everyone here tries to act like every body is worthy of trust even though they have no reason to believe this. sorry for ya man

axer

I have to ask - did she not mention this guy before? Before the "none of your business" police get on to me - im not saying that she has to tell the OP everything but I would presume in a healthy relationship people would automatically tell the other things like this i.e. that they were in contact with someone they met on their travels and are going to met up when away. It definitely does not make sense if she never mentioned this guy before.

axer

OP did your girlfriend mention to you that they were meeting up? I would find it strange if she didnt unless it is a very recent thing. I mean even if she was thinking about meeting up why wouldn't she say it.

Chinafoot

Ballsofsituat wrote:

Yes there was some romantic e-mails,(lots if xxx and a Valentines e-mail) come on Chinafoot are you saying if you were in the same situation you won't be at all curious about reading that e-mail. She's already away that weekend (Welly) his around, so can't oraganise anything, had thought of that already.

Sorry but I wouldn't have read the email in the first place, but hey, I trust my boyfriend so I've no need.

Putting XXX at the end of an email/text does not make it romantic. Unless the Valentine email said something like "I miss you and can't wait to go do the nasty again" you're reading too much into it.

Ask her. You're calling her a hypocrite based on nothing so I think you should ask her. You're so convinced she's up to something so tell her you read her emails and see what she says.

cowzerp

Beetlebum wrote:

I'm a girl but all my friends are guys, I'm not sleeping with any of them or even attracted to any of them for that matter, we're just friends!. Is your gf not allowed to have male friends? ..

Do you have secret male friends? or friends you dont mention even though there good friends?

Dave!

Insecure much?!

She's allowed to have male friends. If you didn't find any solid evidence to suggest a romantic relationship, then forget about it for gods sake.

If she's keeping yer man a secret from you, I can think of a few reasons why she'd do that...

Beetlebum

cowzerp wrote:

Do you have secret male friends? or friends you dont mention even though there good friends?

My bf isn't thrilled by the fact that all my friends are male but he has accepted it and he trusts me. No, I don't keep any of them secret, he's met all of them.

justsomebloke

maybe she didn't tell you about him for the simple reason you would react like this. no offence but you are coming across as bit of a jealous fool

cowzerp

Beetlebum wrote:

My bf isn't thrilled by the fact that all my friends are male but he has accepted it and he trusts me. No, I don't keep any of them secret, he's met all of them.

Male friends is fine, secret friends is suspicious-its french lover boy who smells a little bit funny to me

Chinafoot

cowzerp wrote:

Do you have secret male friends? or friends you dont mention even though there good friends?

Secret? wtf? This is a guy she met while she was travelling. Now I'm guessing that this travelling was done before the OP and she got together. Is she supposed to sit him down and run through every male she has contact with for fear of his insecurity and jealousy, 'cause let face it, that's what this boils down to.

Maybe she will mention it to him. Maybe nothing is confirmed yet. Maybe there were texts and phonecalls after the emails and things were decided that way.

You know she could be trying to spare the OP the boredom of listening to two mates catching up and reminiscing about times that he hasn't experienced. A friend I met in Oz was recently over and I met him (yes him!) for a few drinks and my boyfriend didn't come. I mentioned it to him before I headed out that I was meeting Jim from England that I met in Sydney and if he wanted to come. He said no, but have a good time. That was it. It was fine. In fact Jim ended up kipping on our sofa that night.

OP you need to ask her. You seem to have made up your mind that something is going on there and the only way you'll find out is by asking her. Just be prepared to face the consequences of invading her privacy so badly.

cowzerp

Chinafoot wrote:

Secret? wtf? This is a guy she met while she was travelling. Now I'm guessing that this travelling was done before the OP and she got together. Is she supposed to sit him down and run through every male she has contact with for fear of his insecurity and jealousy, 'cause let face it, that's what this boils down to.

You know she could be trying to spare the OP the boredom of listening to two mates catching up and reminiscing about times that he hasn't experienced. A friend I met in Oz was recently over and I met him (yes him!) for a few drinks and my boyfriend didn't come. I mentioned it to him before I headed out that I was meeting Jim from England that I met in Sydney and if he wanted to come. He said no, but have a good time. That was it. It was fine. In fact Jim ended up kipping on our sofa that night.
.

Your guessing a lot-you told your fella about jim and that changes everything, if i was the op i would think she;s going off to get her hole, maybe i'd be wrong, my missus would let me know she was meeting someone and that would be the end of it-i know and trust my girl, but if she was hiding it i'd think something was up,..

Beetlebum

cowzerp wrote:

Male friends is fine, secret friends is suspicious-its french lover boy who smells a little bit funny to me

Hmmm...i think you may be right. Valentines card? None of my male friends have ever sent me a Valentines card! Maybe he's into her but she just wants him as a friend. The OP also mentions they were togetehr for a while though so it could be suss..

LegacyUser

Not saying she can't have male friends!!! She has plenty of male friends. Its just the fact that she stated she was with this guy romantically while she was away. Its been awhile since she was traveling and she seems to be going out of her way to meet him. So the women who replied earlier are really ok with this if they were in the same situation and you found your boyfriends e-mails. (Don't say i wouldn't have looked at the e-mails in the first place). I'm an understanding guy but i find this fcuked up??

cowzerp

its hard for you to do anything without looking bad, personally if i was in your shoes i'd be very upset, may be time to move on, or find out the truth..

MrBaseball

I think you have valid reason for your concern. She was romantically attached to this guy. She's arranged to meet with him for a weekend. She hasn't informed you about that. Valentines emails and such too. Being suspicious of that doesn't make you the insecure weirdo that some people here would like to portray you as.

Jack Bauer999

Chinafoot wrote:

Secret? wtf? This is a guy she met while she was travelling. Now I'm guessing that this travelling was done before the OP and she got together. Is she supposed to sit him down and run through every male she has contact with for fear of his insecurity and jealousy, 'cause let face it, that's what this boils down to.

Maybe she will mention it to him. Maybe nothing is confirmed yet. Maybe there were texts and phonecalls after the emails and things were decided that way.

You know she could be trying to spare the OP the boredom of listening to two mates catching up and reminiscing about times that he hasn't experienced. A friend I met in Oz was recently over and I met him (yes him!) for a few drinks and my boyfriend didn't come. I mentioned it to him before I headed out that I was meeting Jim from England that I met in Sydney and if he wanted to come. He said no, but have a good time. That was it. It was fine. In fact Jim ended up kipping on our sofa that night.

OP you need to ask her. You seem to have made up your mind that something is going on there and the only way you'll find out is by asking her. Just be prepared to face the consequences of invading her privacy so badly.

No he dosent, He should let her go, Wait until she comes back and she if she
will mention that she met him. If she dosent then its game over....

LegacyUser

So she's going away with some friends to Cork that weekend possibly won't see her. The french guy said he might be in Ireland for a while. How do approach it should i let it happen and see if she's acting werid after that, I feel like this changes alot between us or am i overreacting...Just that this came out of the blue for me. He knows that she with me,(she said this in the e-mail kind of laughing) but by his reply that didn't bother him(smug french ehh). MAN i hope she not on boards???
First time posting..

Pompey Magnus

Hey mate,

given that she didn't mention meeting up with a fella she had been with before I reckon you have grounds to be slightly suspicious but there is no need losing sleep over it. It is a rare person who can be trusted 100% so a little bit of suspicion is usually a good thing, just don't let it eat you up.

WellyJ's suggestion was spot on though, mention a weekend away or a nice dinner out to coincide with the meeting, if she mentions him then forget about, if not then alarm bells should be ringing.

Ignore the people who say you have trust issues, in my experience people who trust their partners completely are usually the ones who miss the signs of infidelity and end up getting hurt the most.

Good luck.

smartypants

cowzerp wrote:

Your guessing a lot-you told your fella about jim and that changes everything, if i was the op i would think she;s going off to get her hole, maybe i'd be wrong, my missus would let me know she was meeting someone and that would be the end of it-i know and trust my girl, but if she was hiding it i'd think something was up,..

seconded!

sounds like baguette boy is thinking he wants his hole when he comes over for the weekend. he also problably knows he has the chance as he has been with her before.

OP has she actually agreed to meet him yet? or was the email just an invitation to meet? but shes gonna be away well then he wont be able to meet her, lol the smug ****er needs a hiding lmao

finbarrk

I wouldnt be that happy in that situation anyway OP, did you find out where she is staying, etc for that weekend? It looks suspicious to me.

Mr. Incognito

What a ridiclous little paranoid rant.

The reason is that you've opened pandora's box

If you're relationship was healthy based on TRUST you wouldn't be sweating, but then again you wouldn't have opened the e-mail in the first place. I think this worry is your punishment. One things for certain, if someone is cheating on you there's nothing you can do about it. EDIT all you can do is work on your relationship and hope it doesn't happen.

axer

SetantaL wrote:

Work on your relationship and this won't happen.

I don't know how you can say that.

Loomis

SetantaL wrote:

What a ridiclous little paranoid rant.

The reason is that you've opened pandora's box

If you're relationship was healthy based on TRUST you wouldn't be sweating, but then again you wouldn't have opened the e-mail in the first place. I think this worry is your punishment. One things for certain, if someone is cheating on you there's nothing you can do about it. Work on your relationship and this won't happen.

That's wonderfully pointless advice. If someone wants to cheat then they will. Working on your relationship won't change them doing it if that's what they want to do. Far better people than you or I have been cheated on through no fault of them not putting in effort into a relationship!

OP - If she meets this guy and never mentions anything to you then there's something seriously up. Again pointless the people here saying 'trust her and you wouldn't have this problem'. They can trust their partners all they want. If this happened to them and their partner made no mention of a meeting they'd be suspicious too, guaranteed. Either that or they're being ignorant

rubyred

Ballsofsituat wrote:

Yes she briefly talked about this guy thats how i recognised his name, they were with each other for a couple of months.

That changes the situation. My bf went away and did the year away thing as well. The girls that he was just friends with, he still stays in contact with and I don't mind at all. However, the girls he was "with" he is no longer in contact with and there is no way that he would be allowed to meet up with them.

DaMadSprogabeen

yeah ignore anyone saying you have trust issues.
nobody likes to be made a fool of or lied to and thats what is fueling your paranoia about all this.
It does sound a bit dodge but you havent given enough info to be certain.
I cant say I have any advice for ya but wish you all the best with it anyway. try not to do anything hasty and dont tell her you read her e mail as it will just cause her to have all the same thoughts you are having now! Good Luck!

K-9

Ballsofsituat wrote:

The other day she never logged out of her e-mails, so when i went to log in to my account her inbox popped up.

Not ideal and curiosity killed the cat;) Don't see a big problem with this, not as if you hacked into it or something. Should't be a big problem for her if everything is as innocent as people are suggesting.

Ballsofsituat wrote:

The first e-mail i saw was from a guy she had met on her travels(know i should of had the respect and trust not to open it but i presume most people would have done the same thing in my situation) for a year. Went through a few more and saw that she had planned to meet up with this guy(French) for weekend comming up. Can't get this out of my head at the moment. Haven't been able to sleep for the last couple of nights. If she loves me then why would she wan't to meet up with this guy.

Probably being a bit OTT. However as you said, why didn't she say in passing, that on her weekend away she may have had plans to meet up him.

Ballsofsituat wrote:

Can't really confront her because then she will know i went through her e-mails.Also the weekend she had planned to meet this guy she will be away for some of that weekend but she did not sent him any e-mails confirming that she would meet up or she might do that in the next couple of days.

It's a hard one. I would let the weekend pass and see if she mentions anything and how she acts.

Ballsofsituat wrote:

Any suggestions would be great at moment i feel like ending it also find this extremely hypocritical as we discussed cheating and all that and she said she never would.

Well no man or woman says they will cheat!:rolleyes:

K-9

cowzerp wrote:

My suspicion is that she's meeting up with her french fling for a bit of a reunion, if this fella was just a friend she would of mentioned him, are you sure this weekend she's having away is not a dirty weekend with him and that she is pretending to be doing something else, sorry to be so blunt but everyone here tries to act like every body is worthy of trust even though they have no reason to believe this. sorry for ya man

Depends on how long the weekend was planned! OP, did she have the weekend planned before the emails from this fella suggesting meeting up?

chinafoot wrote:

I mentioned it to him before I headed out that I was meeting Jim from England that I met in Sydney and if he wanted to come. He said no, but have a good time. That was it. It was fine. In fact Jim ended up kipping on our sofa that night.

OP you need to ask her. You seem to have made up your mind that something is going on there and the only way you'll find out is by asking her. Just be prepared to face the consequences of invading her privacy so badly.

You didn't hide it or not mention it, thats the difference here. Your partner had no reason whatsoever to be suspicious. Don't think he invaded her privacy badly. The Email account was opened. Not ideal but probably more curiosity than anything else. If its all innocent she shouldn't be too offended.

Ballsofsituat wrote:

Its been awhile since she was traveling and she seems to be going out of her way to meet him. So the women who replied earlier are really ok with this if they were in the same situation and you found your boyfriends e-mails. (Don't say i wouldn't have looked at the e-mails in the first place). I'm an understanding guy but i find this fcuked up?

Ballsofsituat wrote:

He knows that she with me,(she said this in the e-mail kind of laughing) but by his reply that didn't bother him(smug french ehh). MAN i hope she not on boards???

She's going out of her way to meet him. E-mail can be hard to guage but I take it they where flirty emails?

Peyton Manning

OP, just ask her does she want to go to the cinema or something the time she's meant to be meeting him and see what she says. If she mentions him, you have nothing to worry about it. If she has another reason on the other hand, she could be on the cock.

finbarrk

Maybe if you mentioned that you were thinking of going to Lisdoonvarna for the weekend if she is going to be gone she might change her mind. You could say that you wanted to catch up on some old friends.

WeeDiddly

If there's a shower of B@stards worse than those Black n' Tans, it's gotta be those fecking romantic frenchies!

I'll be straight with you, dump her. I've got a brother who's just like you, and it does him no good. He's 19 with a gf of the same age, and I'm 15, he can't stand her talkin to me at all... She's causing you more hassle than good, and Love isn't just about having a big heart, and great sex, and wasting dozen's of euro on fancy presents, it's about trust and friendship, and being able to share things.

I know it's human nature that if you see an email, you read it, but if I caught you reading me emails, I'd throttle you into the nearest wall and beat seven shades of ****e into you, but thats a different story.

If she is cheating on you, good and well. I've yet to see a woman walk out on a happy relationship.

And if you think that "xxx" means she's cheating on you, well then god help my girlfriend when she looks through my Bebo/MSN chat logs. xxx means little, only that you are speaking to the opposite sex, and that there is a feeling of friendship...It's only when you see "See you 2nite, xXx" or "Sex last night was amazing! xxx", thats when to worry.

So Grow up and learn to trust her or dump her. But for christ sake, don't marry her, or you'll be divorced before you're 40.

kryogen

has your girlfriend got reason to believe you are a jealous guy?

has anything like this occured in your relationship before, i.e. her meeting up with people from her past? has she told you before the event if so?

you know you shouldnt have opened up the email but if i was in the situation, and i have been, i open it too! you should actually say it to her, you can lie a little bit if you think its necessary...maybe say that you were going to look at your emails when her inbox popped up and you saw this guys name, just ask her about him, like is she in contact with him again, is he coming to ireland or anything... she will know you have read the e mail, or at least suspect it and im sure youll get a cold shoulder but youll probably get an answer too as long as you can convince her that your not spying on her and that you do trust her!!

or just be honest, come clean, say your curiosity got the best of you and that your sorry but that you think it needs to be discussed

if my girlfriend was planning to meet an ex, for a weekend, and didnt plan on telling me at all, i think id be really worried, i mean either she doesnt think your relationship is strong enough/like that you are too jealous to handle the information, if its innocent... if its not innocent then its obvious why she wouldnt be telling you!!

its going to be on your mind all the time and will eat at you one way or the other so just come forward now and sort it out. do you think you have a strong relationship? if she told you would you feel comfortable with her going away to meet this guy?

she will feel that something is wrong and it will cause problems between you anyway so just try talk about it asap

K-9

WeeDiddly wrote:

If there's a shower of B@stards worse than those Black n' Tans, it's gotta be those fecking romantic frenchies!

I'll be straight with you, dump her. I've got a brother who's just like you, and it does him no good. He's 19 with a gf of the same age, and I'm 15, he can't stand her talkin to me at all... She's causing you more hassle than good, and Love isn't just about having a big heart, and great sex, and wasting dozen's of euro on fancy presents, it's about trust and friendship, and being able to share things.

I know it's human nature that if you see an email, you read it, but if I caught you reading me emails, I'd throttle you into the nearest wall and beat seven shades of ****e into you, but thats a different story.

If she is cheating on you, good and well. I've yet to see a woman walk out on a happy relationship.

And if you think that "xxx" means she's cheating on you, well then god help my girlfriend when she looks through my Bebo/MSN chat logs. xxx means little, only that you are speaking to the opposite sex, and that there is a feeling of friendship...It's only when you see "See you 2nite, xXx" or "Sex last night was amazing! xxx", thats when to worry.

So Grow up and learn to trust her or dump her. But for christ sake, don't marry her, or you'll be divorced before you're 40.

My God, thats some 15 year old! Not a bad grasp of relationships!

However, I would say nothing, play it by ear and see what happens. If she doesn't mention her friend and they meet up that would be a concern me.

If its completely innocent why would she hide it?

Pinker

look its simple, just say mention in passing "so have you heard much from "Frenchies name" lately?"..., and gauge her response...if she lies then thats not on, is she replies with yes blah,blah, well then your cool,....despite the fact its a slightly odd question to ask it doesnt really matter, she can wonder all she wants how you knew to ask or why you asked, but she'll never know, just do it- who cares what she thinks, people ask odd questions all the time right?...so do it...keep us posted...

lilly07

If she hasnt mentioned it to you or would like you to go meet him.. she up to no good

LegacyUser

Not really a jealous guy, Yes she might have reason to believe that i am jealous guy tho.To be honest was going to ring her last night and tell her everything. But i know if i do that it could change our whole relationship which was pretty amazing for me up to that point of reading the e-mail. I love her and don't want to jeopardise what we have at to moment, but at the same time as another poster said noone likes to be made a fool of, this is my first serious relationship so i don't want to be hung out and dry. Can't really ask her to do something that weekend she already has plans for that weekend and me asking her to do something would be weird. The only thing that will suss the whole situation would be if she gone for that whole weekend (down in cork) initially she said it would be one night and back the following morning if this changes or anything unexpected pops up after a couple of days, then i would be pretty confident she is cheating.

aidan24326

You haven't said there was anything in the emails that looked suspicious, signing off xx or whatever is fairly harmless. Was there any suggestion of this being more than a just a casual meeting?

Ok she's meeting a guy she had a fling with (people seem to be forgetting this bit), hasn't mentioned it, they've sent each other romantic e-cards cards etc., so I can see how you might be slightly concerned whatever the trust police would say. But there's not much evidence of cheating in what you've said so far.

Try pinker's approach maybe. Mention him casually and gauge her reaction. If she is evasive or lies about it I'd be worried, if not then you probably have nothing to worry about. Might put your mind at ease, or not as the case may be.

Pompey Magnus

I wouldn't mention frenchie at all. It would be much too obvious and unless she is very slow she will cop on straight away that you know something you shouldn't, ask something neutral like "So who will be down in Cork?". If she is innocent she should mention him.

Another possibility you could think about (if you are desperate) is to find out what is going on in Cork that weekend and "arrange" a mate to have plans to go to it and for him to invite you along also:

"Guess what. Friend X has got tickets to see Cork City play on that weekend you are heading down and has invited me along, we could all go out that night."

lilly07

In all fairness, she is going to cork for a night on the same weekemd she is meeting up with this 'frenhie' and has not mentioned to you that she is meeting him... 'CHEATING'...

Pompey Magnus

Rephrase that as:

She is going to Cork for a night and is secretly meeting an ex-boyfriend...

Ekancone

lilly07 wrote:

In all fairness, she is going to cork for a night on the same weekemd she is meeting up with this 'frenhie' and has not mentioned to you that she is meeting him... 'CHEATING'...

He should ask her, i wouldnt jump to conclusions straight away but it is slightly dodgy.

PopeBuckfastXVI

She has arranged to meet this guy.

She has slept with him before.

She hasn't told you anything about it.

We all know what he is after.

Unless she's thick, she knows what he is after.

The very best that you can hope for is that she has no concrete plans to sleep with him, but that she's open to the possibility, maybe even fooling herself that she's not responsible for what happens if she has a few drinks.

Either way, dump her hard and dump her fast.