Big Feckin' Hairy Bastard Spiders...

Basq

Met a mate of mine yesterday who's just home from a 2 year stint in Canada. Actually, he's on Boards (YeatsCounty).

He mentioned to me how he's been home since last Saturday and "what's with all these huge spiders?". I had seen some big enough spiders as of late but nothing that would make me bring it up in conversation really if you know what i mean.

This morning, i know exactly what he's talking about!

Was doing my traditional Saturday morning clean and lifted up the weighing scales in the bathroom - this massive spider just appeared. How he even fitted under the scales is beyond me? He scarpered around the room for a while.

Took a photo of him with my camera phone in a corner... doesn't really do him justice as there was not enough light but just look at him in perspective to the corner of the wall. It's not maginified or anything... it's as close as i could to him as he'd scarper very fast if he sensed me nearby (sorta like women in that way!).

Shelob..

Anyone else noticed a growth spurt in spiders as of late?

magick

yeah they always appear around this time of year now not to knock my lucky streak but i havent seen any, but i have seen lots of small spiders invading the house.

I think their they mini versions of the big bastards because of the sh*tty summer we had they didnt get a proper chance to feed and are still entering the house but are much smaller,thank fu*k

x_Laura_x

yes they are all huge all of them!!!! one huge black hairy one in wrk on thursday was coming down from the roof and if the girl next to me hadnt seen it it would of landed on my head.....i never screamed so loud....oh i am getting the shivers thinkin bout it!!

Donald-Duck

I always feel better when I kill one of the big ones like that.

Terry

About 20 or so years ago me and my friend decided it would be a good idea to plant a couple of conkers in my back garden and see what happens.
Fúckin' tree is now taller than my house and all sort of insects live in it. Especially spiders.
The other night there was one on the floor right beside me. About 4 inches wide. Just looking up at me. Stupid bastard didn't even try to escape when I reached for the bottle of coke to squash him.
I kill at least two a week. They freak me out.

x_Laura_x

Terry wrote:

About 20 or so years ago me and my friend decided it would be a good idea to plant a couple of conkers in my back garden and see what happens.
Fúckin' tree is now taller than my house and all sort of insects live in it. Especially spiders.
The other night there was one on the floor right beside me. About 4 inches wide. Just looking up at me. Stupid bastard didn't even try to escape when I reached for the bottle of coke to squash him.
I kill at least two a week. They freak me out.

oh my god i would cut the tree down....or move!!! i couldnt handle that!!

biko

Some are reeeaally big
1
2

Basq

Ever since i saw the fecker, i keep thinking i feel something on my arm, leg or neck.

It's freaking me out! :eek:

cunnins4

That's gas, I only said this to my friend the other night when we saw a massive fcuker in my back garden. He was spinning this huge web. It was really fat too-not like the long skinny ones, this guy was a bulky one.

They're everywhere too....is that why there's been feck all bees around? are the massive spiders eating them all? That's what i was told!

bronte

I hate these yokes! Was watching t.v. this morning and this big fecker just ran across the living room floor. I screamed and ran out of the room! Don't know where he is now. :mad: I hate the way they're there one minute and gone the next :mad:

Terry

x_Laura_x wrote:

oh my god i would cut the tree down....or move!!! i couldnt handle that!!

I'm not going near it until winter.

nice1franko

Some.
Pig.

AlmightyCushion

Fúnking hell Basquille, that fúcker is huge. I've never seen any that big before.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Get a cat.

Cat's just love eating spiders.

Its funny, my cat love's 'em and my Staffordshire Bull Terrier is terrified of them

nice1franko

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Fúnking hell Basquille, that fúcker is huge. I've never seen any that big before.

thats what yore ma said last night

damo86

Yup the big feckers are out this year,whats going on i ask,there are 3 threads now on big spiders so something must be causing this?any spidey experts care to inform us?

I live in a old house and theres massive bastids around the place,sure was having a bath until i found a big fat hairy leg in it,until i found another and then moved suds away i found massive fecker in middle squirming away,never jumped out of the bath so fast in my life!

But our garden shed is where the kings spiders are..whoa they are big,ill take some pics and post them up tonight.our garden shed also acts a command centre for the garden railway so we have little console for controlling signals etc,anyways they love that and constantly hiding in the orifaces etc,was "operating" a train and push a lever anyway as a pushed it another fecker bolted out underneath it..got such a fright i bolted,my dad didnt know whats happening,all he hears is me going "fcking hell" and running out of the shed!!
Anyways watch out,the theres big feckers about!

billy sastard

just finished knockin down an old shed must have been 4 of the big hairy bastards 4 inchs long good thing i had me sledge hammer

Plug

basquille wrote:

Met a mate of mine yesterday who's just home from a 2 year stint in Canada. Actually, he's on Boards (YeatsCounty).

He mentioned to me how he's been home since last Saturday and "what's with all these huge spiders?". I had seen some big enough spiders as of late but nothing that would make me bring it up in conversation really if you know what i mean.

This morning, i know exactly what he's talking about!

Was doing my traditional Saturday morning clean and lifted up the weighing scales in the bathroom - this massive spider just appeared. How he even fitted under the scales is beyond me? He scarpered around the room for a while.

Took a photo of him with my camera phone in a corner... doesn't really do him justice as there was not enough light but just look at him in perspective to the corner of the wall. It's not maginified or anything... it's as close as i could to him as he'd scarper very fast if he sensed me nearby (sorta like women in that way!).

Shelob..

Anyone else noticed a growth spurt in spiders as of late?

I had one like that the other, fcuking huge. Saying that i didn't kill the black bastard KKK style but instead put a box on him.
He was wider than a pack of 20 fags!

Terry

The ****ing shed. Jesus. I haven't set foot in it in years. I'm afraid to.
I want to get a flame thrower and go in there and kill them all.

billy sastard

a sledge hammer will do just fine but the flamethrower would be cool because you can picture them screaming

Huggles

biko wrote:

Some are reeeaally big
1
2

OMFG I will NEVER sleep again!

pid()

billy sastard wrote:

a sledge hammer will do just fine but the flamethrower would be cool because you can picture them screaming

You should hear the noise they make when you drop them in a frying pan. mmmm.

Niamho!

biko wrote:

Some are reeeaally big
1
2

AGH!! is that for real!? what country were you in!? :eek:

This thread is a major Co-inky-dink actually i was on the phone to my Brother last night and he goes "I'll text ya a picture of the spider we caught runnig along the couch today the size of him!" and he sent it its one of those ones that the OP is on about. oh they're disgusting. i remember trying to get one in my house for about half an hour and being too scared to go near him with a pint glass coz i knew it wouldnt fit around him. they're so freaky ah! im gettin all itchy!

bronte

Me too.. I feel like there's one in my hair! arrgh!! i don't trust anything that needs that many legs and eyes :eek:

You should see some of the ones that come out of fruit and veg boxes. Years ago when I worked in dunnes there was a digusting yoke came crawling out of a banana box.
We called some dude from UCC to come have a look at it, it was that freaky looking. He told us i was poisonous and took it away with him.
This is 100% true by the way.
Also be careful when opening boxes of wine from south america, theres some big hairy ones in those sometimes, though they are usually dead by the time they get here though.

Fajitas!

I saw a big yellow fcuker in work the other day, body was about 2 inches long, legspan of about 4/5 inches...Terrifying. I'm convinced it came from a bag in the Lost & Found Dept... though it got crushed & swept away (Wimmen are god for something) before I could take any pics.

I was considering posting about it and forgot.

dame

One of mine is pictured here in this thread:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055143487

They're big and freaky alright!

Black Swan

Irish spiders are whimps! We have tarantulas in So Cal that are huge!

MooseJam

Housespiders are totally harmless people, stop being such big girls blouses

Gaspode

This Hairy Beyotch nearly pushed over the glass we trapped her in! THere's a lot of these around at the moment, big, hairy and really fast on their feet.

This other one was smaller but had really long legs and was quite happy to pose for this photo. Didnt seem phased by me at all.

Karl Hungus

I know that feeling, usually get a few of 'em in my room every once and a while. Sometimes they can dash infront of my line of sight and give me a little fright, found a ****ing gigantic one that was darting up the wall to me left once, and scared the bejesus outta me.

I used to get that feeling that Basquille described of feeling someone on my arm or leg when there's nothing there, but I've just gotten used to them now, and it doesn't bother me any more. It's usually those fat bastards that move at suprising speed that seem to like my place, and I just kill 'em when I see them, because those are the feckers that can get quite big.

Of course, it depends on the spider. There's one that's been just hanging around over my PC for about a month now, and he never bothers me at all. Infact, I've seen him catch a few moths now and then, so it's handy having him around. I'm thinking of giving him a name, like Peter Stringfellow or something.

Niamho!

Agh!! and its not like you can just grab them in tissue. or Squash them. imagine the Crunch.....:eek:

rain on

This thread has reminded me that the first thing I saw when I got up this morning was a jaysusing great spider in the bathroom sink. I reversed at great speed out of the bathroom and perfomed the necessary ablutions in work, and there's been no-one else in the house all day so the bastard is probably still there. Fuxache.

The Bollox

lol, when I looked at Biko's first pic I thought "naaah, he's just having a laugh, or it's 2 moderatly big spiders" but when I saw the second one I thought "I'm going to send my lack-of-sleep bill to that bástard!"

Steez

Was in Australia summer before last, and the little things here have got NOTHING on the ones over there. I still recall me and me mate walking into the sitting room, only to see the biggest spider in the world calmly sitting/standing/hanging on the far wall.
It's the only time i've ever shat meself from seeing on of them. And it was proper big like, not like the ones that're the size of a smoke box. This one's BODY was the size of a smoke box. Add on big ass legs and you get an idea.
Everyone in the house refused to go into the room, until me mates ma went in and killed it

Just looked at that second pic biko posted, massive deja vu.
*whips out hammer, frantically looking everywhere*

Dregon

I remember my dad showed me this picture of camel spiders that are found in Iraq, scared the hell outta me and i couldn't get any sleep that night:(

Basq

Dregon wrote:

I remember my dad showed me this picture of camel spiders that are found in Iraq, scared the hell outta me and i couldn't get any sleep that night:(

Ahhhh yeah... remember that image went around in e-mails like mad a year or two back saying "someone stationed in Baghdad was bitten by it, and they eat the flesh directly off your body" or something like that.

They're harmless though!

Guy:Incognito

I just killed one that looks exactly liek the one in Basquille's OP. I have a fear f them so just went after it with the shoe. It was in my bedroom so its fair game.

Basq

Yeah, i squashed mine with a tissue on the end of the top of a brush, then flushed him!

I have a fear of them too...

The Bollox

A true story and its source was the Australian Quarantine Inspection Service in Adelaide.

A bloke and his family were on holidays in the United States and went to Mexico for a week. An avid cactus fan, the man bought a one-metre high, rare and expensive cactus there. On arrival back home Australian Customs said it must be quarantined for 3 months.

He finally got his cactus home. Planted it in his backyard, and over time it grew to about 2 metres. One evening while watering his garden after a warm spring day, he gave the cactus a light spray. He was amazed to see the plant shiver all over, he gave it another spray and it shivered again. He was puzzled so he rang the council who put him on to the state gardens people. After a few transfers he got the state's foremost cactus expert who asked him many questions. How Tall is it? Has it flowered? etc.

Finally he asked the most disturbing question. "Is your family in the house?" The bloke answered yes. The cactus expert said get out of the house NOW, get on to the front nature strip and wait for me, I will be there in 20 minutes.

Fifteen minutes later, 2 fire trucks, 2 police cars and an ambulance came screaming around the corner. A fireman got out and asked "Are you the bloke with the cactus?" I am, he said. A guy jumped out of the fire truck wearing what looked like a space suit, a breathing cylinder and mask attached to what looked like a scuba backpack with a large hose attached. He headed for the backyard and turned a flame-thrower on the cactus spraying it up and down.

After a few minutes the flame-thrower man stopped, the cactus stood smoking and spitting, half the fence was burnt and parts of the gardens were well and truly scorched. Just then the cactus expert appeared and laid a calming hand on the bloke's shoulder. "What the hell's going on?" he says. "Let me show you" says the cactus man. He went over to the cactus and picked away a crusty bit, the cactus was almost entirely hollow and filled with tiger striped bird-eating tarantula spiders, each about the size of two hand spans.

The story was that this type of spider lays eggs in this type of cactus and they hatch and live in it as they grow to full size. When full size they release themselves. The cactus just explodes and about 150 dinner plate sized hairy spiders are flung from it, dispersing everywhere. They had been ready to pop. The aftermath was that the house and the adjoining houses had to be vacated and fumigated: police tape was put up outside the whole area and no one was allowed in for two weeks.

And here's what one of the spiders looks like sitting on a full size dinner plate.

and here's a picture of the type of spider inside the cactus
massive spider
not actually true!!!!!1!!!1

Basq

Tip for you, The Bollox!

Every time you see anything on an Internet / e-mail containing the words "true story", refer to Snopes

Cos more than likely it's not actually true!

With regards to cactus spider, case and point!

The Bollox

yes I know, look at the white writing under my post, I just wanted to freak out a load of people

bronte

Thanks ya bollox! won't sleep tonight even if it's not true!
I'm still too scared to look at biko's 2nd pic.
The legs freaked me right out Arrrggh!

Steez

bronte wrote:

Thanks ya bollox! won't sleep tonight even if it's not true!
I'm still too scared to look at biko's 2nd pic.
The legs freaked me right out Arrrggh!

You don't have to look at it, just imagine how big the spider'd have to be to have legs that size. I'd say it'd be at least the size of your outstretched hand. Just bodysize like. Now imagine that crawling into your mouth while you slept, that'd be nasty.

bronte

Steez!!!! ya arse! gonna have to get the duct tape out now and tape me gob shut!
I'll need therapy cos of this thread

Steez

You'll need something a bit stronger than duct tape, the size of the feckers in those photos, they'd break through it in no time. I'd say go gorilla tape. Or elephant tape if you can.

bronte

I'd love to travel to Australia sometime,but the size of the yokes over there frightens me!
Spiders...the bane of my life :mad:

Steez

Ah they're not that big.

Google image search a spider crab...you'll probably never run into one though, unless you're in the Arctic sea. Still though, body the size of a basketball. Imagine if they managed to survive on land!

I'll stop now, i'm being quite horrible. Apologies bronte

bronte

You're grand! Those spider crabs look nasty alright!
They don't freak me out at all though, its the feckin spiders...dunno why but they just do!
Even my male friends aren't fond of them

Steez

I don't really understand it tbh. Spider = really not very big at all. Is it the scuttly thing? It's a bit freaky i suppose. But seriously, shoe or rolled up paper.
In fact, any object that's subject to gravity should do.

bronte

i reckon it's just that they have too many legs and too many eyes..and they can be in front of you one second but totally disappear the next.
I hate that...why the need to run off so quickly? They're up to something i tells ya.
Plotting our doom probably