Yore Ma needs a man. Apply within.

January

I wish to apply for the position brothers.

smashey

adrieanne__x wrote:

I wish to apply for the position brothers.

We'd like to see your CV.

AlmightyCushion

adrieanne__x wrote:

I wish to apply for the position brothers.

I was away yesterda evening getting drunk and wasn't able to be here for the interviews but I'm here now.


So "adrieanne__x", if that is you're real name. I ask for a manhatten, what do you do?

I'd also like to apply, but my fondness for alchohol might mean I will often be too damn drunk to pull pints.

AlmightyCushion

Deleted User wrote:

I'd also like to apply, but my fondness for alchohol might mean I will often be too damn drunk to pull pints.

As long as you don't vomit into my pint, it'll be fine. Would you care to answer the question I asked above?

If you asked me for a manhatten I'd ask you what the f^ck that is, punch you in the face, tell you to man the f#ck up and kick your arse out the door. Probably.

Zaph

Deleted User wrote:

If you asked me for a manhatten I'd ask you what the f^ck that is, punch you in the face, tell you to man the f#ck up and kick your arse out the door. Probably.

Pretty much the right answer except for the fact that you'd ask what it was. As it quite clearly not beer or one of the spirits on the acceptable list why should you even care?

Apologies Brother Zaph, I should have known better.

AlmightyCushion

Deleted User wrote:

If you asked me for a manhatten I'd ask you what the f^ck that is, punch you in the face, tell you to man the f#ck up and kick your arse out the door. Probably.

The two answers I had to that were.

a) Punch me in the face and kick me out of the bar.

b) Give me a sambuca because I was clearly too drunk to know what I was asking for.

You clearly answered a but much better especiallty the 'man the fúck up' part. I really liked that. Very good.

January

AlmightyCushion wrote:

I was away yesterda evening getting drunk and wasn't able to be here for the interviews but I'm here now.


So "adrieanne__x", if that is you're real name. I ask for a manhatten, what do you do?

I'd give you a pint, like what everyone else in the bar has.

Hagar

Did I miss anything Bothers?

I un-characteristically went to an Irish Pub in Cannes at lunch time yesterday to watch a match and have just now got home. Great match, sad ending, my loyalties were sadly didvided.

I say un-charactaristically for two reasons, firstly it's not in my nature to pass a neraby pub to go to a futher one and secondly after a few scoops I like to set myself little challenges like spelling and typing.

Slow Motion

Application Re YORE MAs !

Reason for application :

Well my current situation isn't exactly keeping all my faculties on overdrive !

Relevent experience / qualifications :

Been drunk on more than one continent !

First time renting flat in college, I went out to celebrate got so drunk I had to knock on five doors on the street I rented to find the house my flat was in (I tell ya that endeared me to the neighbours) !

Drunk in a bar in Cyprus, me and the brother decided to go native and using the little language guide we found somewhere I asked for a pint of beer in what I thought was passable drunk greek (Dreek ). After the barman stopped laughing he informed me I had just ordered a pint of cnut ! (Got the beers for free, when I repeated my request for the other barmen )

Many more stories like above can be brought to any subsequent second interview.

Other usefull skills :

Can talk complete bollox drunk or sober, and always have time for a swift one !


References on request !


Edit : I can be suitably patronising, see my posts to the wimmin on various threads here ! And can and will actively protect BGRH from all wannabe guts !

Tom Dunne

Slow Motion wrote:

Can talk complete bollox drunk or sober, and always have time for a swift one !

Ok, now I'm interested.

As our previous employee didn't really have the gift of the gab, talking to our customers is a highly valued trait and certainly something the management would look for.

How would you handle the awkward customer, say, a drunk female that insisted on a cherry in her, pint?*













*Not that a) we would allow wimmins in and b) we would have cherries. Stop sniggering at the back

Slow Motion

tom dunne wrote:

Ok, now I'm interested.

As our previous employee didn't really have the gift of the gab, talking to our customers is a highly valued trait and certainly something the management would look for.

How would you handle the awkward customer, say, a drunk female that insisted on a cherry in her, pint?*













*Not that a) we would allow wimmins in and b) we would have cherries. Stop sniggering at the back

Well ! If she lost her cherry then it's a little to late to be asking for it back, however if she would like me to make her a double entendre instead then I would certainly give her one !

Tom Dunne

Slow Motion wrote:

Well ! If she lost her cherry then it's a little to late to be asking for it back, however if she would like me to make her a double entendre instead then I would certainly give her one !

Excellent answer.

Slow Motion

tom dunne wrote:

Excellent answer.

And ?
*Arms folded, foot tapping*

Tom Dunne

Slow Motion wrote:

And ?
*Arms folded, foot tapping*

I am hogging the interview process here.

I will let some of the other Brothers get a few questions in.

Slow Motion

tom dunne wrote:

I am hogging the interview process here.

I will let some of the other Brothers get a few questions in.

This could take a while then

And less of the pighead references

Spud83

I'm not sure if I'm allowed asked questions but you can just consider me as some drunk shout from the bar.

The strike team is called into action to put down the evil pighead. What do you do, man the bar or follow the strike team?

Slow Motion

alanmurphy83 wrote:

I'm not sure if I'm allowed asked questions but you can just consider me as some drunk shout from the bar.

The strike team is called into action to put down the evil pighead. What do you do, man the bar or follow the strike team?

That's a devilish question !

Well, when the strike team is called to action they first meet up in the bar to drink and discuss strategy, both of which I can supply, when action is about to start I fill up all the spare pint glasses I can find, line them up on the bar, then get one of the wimmins out of the snug to make sure any who stay behind honour the honour system !

Spud83

Slow Motion wrote:

That's a devilish question !

Well, when the strike team is called to action they first meet up in the bar to drink and discuss strategy, both of which I can supply, when action is about to start I fill up all the spare pint glasses I can find, line them up on the bar, then get one of the wimmins out of the snug to make sure any who stay behind honour the honour system !

*round of applause* Next question is it a round of applause when it’s only one person clapping?

Slow Motion

alanmurphy83 wrote:

*round of applause* Next question is it a round of applause when it’s only one person clapping?

Only barman questions please And no it's just some crap Karaoke singer with only one mate !

AlmightyCushion

All right slowmo, I come into the bar and have clearly had too much to drink. I ask you for a drink, what do you do?

:)I'd give you a triple sambuca

Slow Motion

AlmightyCushion wrote:

All right slowmo, I come into the bar and have clearly had too much to drink. I ask you for a drink, what do you do?

*Sigh Rookie trick question* AC if you can still ask me for a drink you clearly have not had too much ! :rolleyes:

AlmightyCushion

Slow Motion wrote:

*Sigh Rookie trick question* AC if you can still ask me for a drink you clearly have not had too much ! :rolleyes:

I thought it might have been too easy. A pillow would be nice also for when you eventually decided to go to sleep.

Slow Motion

AlmightyCushion wrote:

I thought it might have been too easy. A pillow would be nice also for when you eventually decided to go to sleep.

Surely you mean a cushion !:D

AlmightyCushion

Slow Motion wrote:

Surely you mean a cushion !:D

*claps*

I pissed myself laughing at that or maybe it's the fact I'm drunk.

Spud83

I don’t know if I have a vote in this. But after this intense interview process I believe Slow Mo should be confirmed as the new bar man, he has answered all questions astoundingly and has done a great job as the temp bar man.

Besides I think somebody needs to give him the key to the snug I heard some uncomforting noises from there earlier.

Tom Dunne

AlmightyCushion wrote:

maybe it's the fact I'm drunk.

*checks watch*

Bloody students......

Lucky bastards