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Am I sick or just a man?

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    I'd say it hurts like hell, and what about blow back?


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    The Bollox wrote:
    I'd say it hurts like hell, and what about blow back?

    Nah, doesn't hurt at all. Though if it's a big one turn you're gonna feel the heat, but that lasts for about 2 seconds. As for the blow back, I haven't had an accident yet, the trousers are great as a shield.

    However, do be careful!:



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    sorry, I meant the fire backfiring i.e. spontanious combustion


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    The Bollox wrote:
    sorry, I meant the fire backfiring i.e. spontanious combustion

    Well, the trousers would offer protection and I presume your ring closes before any sort of flame get's inside you. Hmmm, I wonder what would happen, would you burn inside out?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    it's be pretty funny if your sack caught fire... not for you though. at least you could run around roaring "GOODNESS, GRACIOUS! GREAT BALLS ON FIRE!"


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  • Registered Users Posts: 11,343 ✭✭✭✭Collie D


    Jesus, doesn't bear thinking about it. Slightly OT, Isee you on post number 999, why not make the grand with a story of your most amazing fire-fart, a fitting use I think.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Collie D wrote:
    Jesus, doesn't bear thinking about it. Slightly OT, Isee you on post number 999, why not make the grand with a story of your most amazing fire-fart, a fitting use I think.

    Balls, I'm just after celebrating it over at the bar. I got a round for everyone *slurps on bucket of diesel* Aaaah, as for my firey arse the funniest thing that ever happened was the same time I managed to get my biggest, most orange flame. I held the light in an unusual way and when I ignited my Duggy-brand gas I ended up frying the hairs off my thumb and index finger. My hand stunk of burnt hair for ages afterwards but I was too proud of my majestic fireball to care.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,343 ✭✭✭✭Collie D


    Duggy747 wrote:
    I ended up frying the hairs off my thumb and index finger. QUOTE]

    Thought that was going somewhere else. Count yourself lucky


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Again, the trousers is a mighty shield. I'd advise never to try this bollock-naked, you'll soon pay the price!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭J.S. Pill


    The funniest fart moment I can think of was from when I was back in school. Some dude in the back of the class farted (as you do); as the blast radius slowly expanded each row of students covered their noses and started laughing. The teacher at the top of the class notices row after row following this pattern. 'What are ye all laughing at' he says as the final row succumbs. 10 seconds later: 'oh god, open the window!'. That fart traveled a good 25 feet without any discernable loss of power and believe me, t'was fierce powerful. Impressive stuff.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 11,343 ✭✭✭✭Collie D


    I'd say that guy went on to achieve great things. Possibly a mod on the Brotherhood's forum?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Personally I favour the repeating fart which starts in the deppest innards and rumbles out like a frikken 21 gun salute.

    The "String of Pearls " I call it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,944 ✭✭✭trout


    While it pleases me to see this thread mutate into "Great farts I have known", I feel compelled to bring it back on-topic.

    OP, you are a man. End of. To be considered sick, in this regard, you would have to do the following
    • Have a feed of Guinness, and either kebabs or curries (or both)
    • Let nature take it's course
    • Prepare a tupperware container, with tight fitting lid.
    • Add some tap water.
    • Proceed to fart into the tupperware container (you may need a friend, a good friend, to assist).
    • When you are drained, seal the tupperware container and place in the freezer. Allow to stand overnight.
    • To deploy : Conceal the frozen fart bomb somewhere about the desk of your most hated enemy.
    • Sit back and watch. Repeat as required.

    If by chance, some turd droplets fall into the water during preparation ... that's OK too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,863 ✭✭✭✭crosstownk


    trout wrote:
    Have a feed of Guinness, and either kebabs or curries (or both)

    It works much better after a few successive nights of Guinness and kebebs. The stench should be good enough to evacuate a small village :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭Fey!


    OP; whilst I admire your spirit, one must remember the old line "a woman is not your girlfriend until such time as her head has been trapped under the covers solely for your flatulant entertainment".

    In other words, do this at your peril, for once you do it, she makes the rules!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,343 ✭✭✭✭Collie D


    trout wrote:
    While it pleases me to see this thread mutate into "Great farts I have known", I feel compelled to bring it back on-topic.

    OP, you are a man. End of. To be considered sick, in this regard, you would have to do the following
    • Have a feed of Guinness, and either kebabs or curries (or both)
    • Let nature take it's course
    • Prepare a tupperware container, with tight fitting lid.
    • Add some tap water.
    • Proceed to fart into the tupperware container (you may need a friend, a good friend, to assist).
    • When you are drained, seal the tupperware container and place in the freezer. Allow to stand overnight.
    • To deploy : Conceal the frozen fart bomb somewhere about the desk of your most hated enemy.
    • Sit back and watch. Repeat as required.

    If by chance, some turd droplets fall into the water during preparation ... that's OK too.

    :D Haha, that truly is sick but somehow I am curious. I may look into this.
    Fey! wrote:
    OP; whilst I admire your spirit, one must remember the old line "a woman is not your girlfriend until such time as her head has been trapped under the covers solely for your flatulant entertainment".

    In other words, do this at your peril, for once you do it, she makes the rules!!!

    Well since I posted I think I have been dumped but life goes on...I'm really gonna miss the old head under the duvet while I let a ripper...sniff


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,076 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    trout wrote:
    While it pleases me to see this thread mutate into "Great farts I have known", I feel compelled to bring it back on-topic.

    OP, you are a man. End of. To be considered sick, in this regard, you would have to do the following
    • Have a feed of Guinness, and either kebabs or curries (or both)
    • Let nature take it's course
    • Prepare a tupperware container, with tight fitting lid.
    • Add some tap water.
    • Proceed to fart into the tupperware container (you may need a friend, a good friend, to assist).
    • When you are drained, seal the tupperware container and place in the freezer. Allow to stand overnight.
    • To deploy : Conceal the frozen fart bomb somewhere about the desk of your most hated enemy.
    • Sit back and watch. Repeat as required.
    If by chance, some turd droplets fall into the water during preparation ... that's OK too.

    Holy sh!t man that is genius. Now I've gotta find me a victim.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    trout wrote:
    While it pleases me to see this thread mutate into "Great farts I have known", I feel compelled to bring it back on-topic.

    OP, you are a man. End of. To be considered sick, in this regard, you would have to do the following
    • Have a feed of Guinness, and either kebabs or curries (or both)
    • Let nature take it's course
    • Prepare a tupperware container, with tight fitting lid.
    • Add some tap water.
    • Proceed to fart into the tupperware container (you may need a friend, a good friend, to assist).
    • When you are drained, seal the tupperware container and place in the freezer. Allow to stand overnight.
    • To deploy : Conceal the frozen fart bomb somewhere about the desk of your most hated enemy.
    • Sit back and watch. Repeat as required.

    If by chance, some turd droplets fall into the water during preparation ... that's OK too.


    i find a good feed of guinness followed by a nice indian really gets a haymaker going, anyone who frequents william hill (formerly stanley's) bookies in blackrock will remember why im barred


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭matt-dublin


    and they say the earth is running out of renewable energy!

    you should have bottled it and sent it to board gais

    reminds me somewhat of this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqCfVVkT2KI


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