Corrupt a Wish

Dave D

I stole this off another fourm. The idea is that first person makes a wish then the second person corrupts the wish then post a wish of there own.
example
poster 1: I wish I had a motorbike.
poster 2: you get your bike but it blows you up the second you start it.
I wish I was rich.

I will start it off.
I wish I was rich and famous.

DarkJager

You turn out to be Paris Hilton

I wish I had a mountain of cannabis outside my house

sidneykidney

You become rich and famous. Then a crazed stalker kills you!

I wish to rule the world.

Dave D

I wish I had a mountain of cannabis outside my house

You get the mountain of cannabis outside your house but the cops arrest you and spend the rest of your life in prison where you become the man bride of crazy Ed.

I wish to rule the world.

You become ruler of the world but get overthrown on your first day and sentenced to a lifetime of hard work in a special labour camp in the north pole.

I wish I had a thousand wishes

Matt Holck

lawyers are tapping their feet to get working on your wishes
please list all your wishes before you continue
the pre-entered zip code was wrong
please list all your wishes before you continue

I wish I had a job

Pompey Magnus

Matt Holck wrote:

lawyers are tapping their feet to get working on your wishes
please list all your wishes before you continue
the pre-entered zip code was wrong
please list all your wishes before you continue

I wish I had a job

Congratulations Matt Holck.

Hamas are pleased to inform you that your application for the position of Suicide Bomber has been successful. Please report to:

Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi,
Office 3.7,
Hamas HQ,
Gaza.

Performance Bonuses: 72 virgins in Paradise and up to three percent of your annual gross salary, paid quarterly by your choice of check or direct deposit.

Benefits: Standard, Hamas-provided benefits for salaried-exempt employees, including the following
401(k) retirement account
Annual stock options
Child daycare assistance
Education assistance
Health, dental, life and disability insurance
Profit sharing
Sick leave
Vacation and personal days


Necessary equipment will be supplied.



I wish I could time travel.

Matt Holck

you do but your website doesn't update
so the browsers won't support them

I wish my teeth weren't decaying

Hail 2 Da Chimp

They aren't...

But you get AIDS... From having sex with your new boyfriend.... Who is also your cell mate... 'Cuz now you're in Jail... For having killed your dentist's wife in order to make him give you free dental work.

Matt Holck

I wish chimp had made a wish

Capt'n Midnight

but he didn't so that's the end of the thread

I've found a needle
I wish I had grass in the garden.

randylonghorn

You get your wish, but a sudden heatwave strikes, and the blazing sun focused through the sheets of glass you had covering it sets it on fire. You arrive home from work to find all the local teenagers high as kites in your garden. Being Athlone, neither the smell of burning weed nor a battalion of half-crazed teens whooping it up around the fire has attracted any notice from the neighbours, but unfortunately one of the kids calls the guards to report that the dome of Peter and Paul's is in fact a spaceship, and that the Castle is currently under attack by little green men. When the guards finally arrive the following morning, they decide that a whole garden of cannabis is a bit much for "personal consumption", even by local standards, and their mood is not improved by the fact that when they chase the hungover teenagers out of the garden, most of them stop to urinate on the squad car as they pass. They therefore arrest you for drug dealing, and when your case goes to court, you are sentenced to 2 years in prison. You do the first 23 months without much bother, but after getting into a fight with a fellow prisoner over a bar of soap (you never properly explain why), your internet access privileges are withdrawn, and the withdrawal symptoms are so severe that you emerge a month later a bitter, broken and twisted shadow of your former self.


I wish a bloody heatwave WOULD strike!

Matt Holck

it saps the energy from you

I wish sour grapes weren't actually sour

Jesus Wept

Sour grapes aren't sour, but you die of an incurable grape related eating disease. ul.


I wish the nest wasn't so quiet and marginal lately.

Matt Holck

the nest becomes completely abandon
and it's your fault because you're mean

I wish the admin at VF would stop playing petty games about fixing an image

Black Swan

Rig eats too many pinto beans and makes the Nest not so quiet.

Matt gets carried away by Sea World dolphins that are in the employ of admin.

I wish for it not to be raining the next time I visit home.

randylonghorn

Damnit, NOW ye appear ...

B!ue, global warming seems to have corrupted THAT wish already.

I wish I was heading off for a month in the sun.

The-Rigger wrote:

I wish the nest wasn't so quiet and marginal lately.

You get your wish, time reverses, and the old school gang re-appear.

Amp reverts to Pam ...
Sarky re-investigates Funky's orifice ...
Spankeh floods every thread with Elisha Cuthbert pictures
the Manwhore Union is revived, but they spend so much time fapping over Lusty that they can never get it up when business comes their way...
Tallie spanks everybody, just on principle ...
CM insists on wearing his wetsuit every day, and Funky keeps having to perform the Expelliarmus charm on him, for decency's sake ...
and no-one knows what gender Tar(A) is, but s/he posts more than 10 other boardsies put together!

Oh, wait ... that's just re-corrupting the Nest, not your wish!

Sad now!

Matt Holck

your re-instated in the army for a lovely trip to Iraq
the ants erupt searching for moisture


I wish for coffee

Black Swan

Bush invades coffee producing countries claiming to liberate the beans, so no coffee for Matt.

I wish Randy would go jump in the Corrib.

Matt Holck

The-Rigger posted
Sour grapes aren't sour, but you die of an incurable grape related eating disease. ul.


I wish the nest wasn't so quiet and marginal lately.

well the criticism wasn't all that impressive but so hard too find



the cool rush only exhilarates him

I wish I could find a critic

Black Swan

B!ue points to Matt, stage whispers "Affair" to gossip colmnists, they all rush to him, accosting and snapping his picture. Later... Red Tops reserve their front pages to proclaim Matt's affair with an alien!

I wish I had a grand novel for my flight.

Matt Holck

as you write
you get harrassed people saying
"I know you when"
"I'm more popular. I'm more powerful"
when you just want to write a story

I wish people would take world communication seriosly

Black Swan

Broad band boards becomes boring behaviour because boys belittle beans* by being brow beating bullies

To B or not to B, that is the wishful question?

*Irish

Matt Holck

the chance to be what ever in anonymity
has driven a partition between meaningful contact and identity
they can not care because they do not know even each other

I wish I knew what to do now

Capt'n Midnight

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

To B or not to B, that is the wishful question?

In binary the answer to that question is "True"
Very Zen, but not helpful


I wish this wish to be corrupted

Star Lord

Your desire for corruption backfires, and you become anally retentitive and corrupt your whole body.

I wish I could teleport!

Capt'n Midnight

you're wish is granted but you forget the rules about only teleporting in a vacuum and instead arrive at a place where there is some air whose molecules integrate into yours and you swell up like a baloon, get the bends and loads of clots and spend the rest of your life screaming , all twenty seconds of it.

I wish kittens had oposable thumbs,

Matt Holck

fire department members slump into a funk
because kittens no longer need rescuing from trees

I wish I could find an excuse to visit the farm

Green Giant

but you can't. The farm is a s**thole

I wish I had a car with automatic transmission

Matt Holck

you inherit one from your mother
now, you're obliged to visit her while running an errand to get oil

I wish she was in when I got there

sidneykidney

She's with me. So she won't be

i wish i win the lotto tomorrow nite,and that i am the only winner.

Jesus Wept

sidneykidney wrote:

She's with me. So she won't be

i wish i win the lotto tomorrow nite,and that i am the only winner.

You win the lotto tomorrow night, and are the only winner, but you die.

Alanis Morissette writes another wretched song about how 'ironic' it is, and we all have to endure it.

Everybody loses.

Matt Holck

you make bank off the sales produced by the song

I wish I was the only one who has tantrums

Hail 2 Da Chimp

You are, but your pants fall off in public when you are walking up the stairs infront of beautiful women.

I wish I had less money.


<_<



>_>

randylonghorn

Your wish is granted, and you go bankrupt. You are sold into sexual slavery to pay off your debt, and boards.ie buy you as a cheap alternative to the "hookers" bit of the "coke and hookers" pay-off for the mods of the LGB forum.

I wish I had a few winners at the Galway races ...

Cuban Son

randylonghorn wrote:

I wish I had a few winners at the Galway races ...

All your horses win, but you lose your betting slip. An old woman finds it and donates all the winnings to the cats and dogs home. Which is where all your winners finally end up as pet food.


I wish my take away would hurry up, I'm starving.

Green Giant

Your takeaway got poisoned

I wish Eamon Dunphy would retire from football punditry

Cuban Son

**NEWSFLASH**
Eamonn Dunphy retires fron football punditry.

**BREAKING NEWS**
Eamonn Dunphy has signed a life long contract with RTE, TV3, TG4 and Channel 6 to host all their shows bar football punditry. Dunphy will be the face of irish tv for the foreseeable future.

I wish I had a cigarette.