Is intelligence a shallow attribute to look for in a partner

MooseJam

no

nesf

What is important is finding someone who is roughly speaking around where you are intelligence wise. Too far above or below your level is a recipe for unhappiness for most people. It doesn't really matter how you define intelligence since usually you'll be able to gather whether someone is roughly around the same area as yourself.

PeakOutput

as regards different types of intelligence i tend to judge it on how much a person can talk about a subject that they are interested in

CathyMoran

I do not think that it is shallow to look for intelligence in a partner. What use is there being with someone if you can not have an intelligent conversation with them. All the men that I dated were highly intelligent, my hubby especially so, he speaks several languages for one thing. Looks will fail (though my hubby will always be cute to me due to his eyes) but intelligence stays.

RoundyMooney

^

Hands up, those of you who didn't know CathyMoran was married.

Intelligence is a prerequisite for a LTR, simple as that.

As someone who does like quantum physics, I'd have to put intelligence at the top =p I'd want someone around the same level and with some of the same interests at least anyway

Terry

If Intelligence is a prerequisite for a LTR, how do you explain skangers who stay together?
Relative intelligence?

RoundyMooney

Terry wrote:

If Intelligence is a prerequisite for a LTR, how do you explain skangers who stay together?
Relative intelligence?

Skangers who stay together? A misnomer surely!

A prerequisite for a successful LTR then. People stay together, rather than grow old together for all sorts of reasons, making generalisations difficult, but I stand by my point...

Tar.Aldarion

RoundyMooney wrote:

^

Hands up, those of you who didn't know CathyMoran was married.

Well Shane & I didn't.

RoundyMooney

I want to have your babies

axer

There is two types of intelligence; you have the intelligence you are born with, which is called Fluid Intelligence; then you have the intelligence you pick up through life, which is called Crystallized Intelligence. They are both quantifiably different.

Eglinton: saying that you wouldn't really consider going out with someone who wasn't 3rd level educated is snobery and prejudism at best.

OP: Intelligence is not always an indicator as to a person's personality, what you are talking about is a prospective girlfriend's (or boyfriend's) intellectuality. How could it be shallow that you are not into the same things as someone else thus not having much in common?

Eglinton

axer wrote:

Eglinton: saying that you wouldn't really consider going out with someone who wasn't 3rd level educated is snobery and prejudism at best.

Snobbery it is then. If that's what it takes to meet someone compatible. I'm sure a lot of people would think the same way though!

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

can't find the actual psychological study that showed it, but by and large, we form relationships with people with a similar socio-economic (incl. intell) class to ourselves.

someone with a degree will probably form a relationship with someone else with a degree.

someone who performs a manual trade, will probably form a LTR with someone who is from a similar background (e.g. in terms of their family background).

hollywood stories, such as someone rich and intelligent falling in love with their maid (yes, i have seen Maid in Manhatten), are popular movie stories and soap opera stories, and Anna Nicole Smith stories, precisely because they are out of the norm.

Naikon

Eglinton wrote:

I'm sure a lot of people would think the same way though!

I highly doubt this.

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

Naikon wrote:

I highly doubt this.

most people DO think like this (but, probably sub-consciously)

nesf

Eglinton wrote:

Snobbery it is then. If that's what it takes to meet someone compatible. I'm sure a lot of people would think the same way though!

Eh, replace that with capable of getting a degree and I might just about agree with you. But a degree really means very little mate, a trained chimp could get one these days tbh.

Eglinton

nesf wrote:

Eh, replace that with capable of getting a degree and I might just about agree with you. But a degree really means very little mate, a trained chimp could get one these days tbh.

Yes, I'd go with that. I would just use a degree or equivalent as a guideline indicator of their potential intelligence. One significant converstion with them and you'll usually get your answer though.
.
Roundtower2 had a very valid point - socio-economic background parity


(to sound even more snobbish - I tend to go more for girls with postgrad qualifications these days. Just a trend I'm observing in myself!!) - that coupled with wit and the physical appearance I like and I'm sold!!

nesf

Eglinton wrote:

Yes, I'd go with that. I would just use a degree or equivalent as a guideline indicator of their potential intelligence. One significant converstion with them and you'll usually get your answer though.
.
Roundtower2 had a very valid point - socio-economic background parity


(to sound even more snobbish - I tend to go more for girls with postgrad qualifications these days. Just a trend I'm observing in myself!!) - that coupled with wit and the physical appearance I like and I'm sold!!

All we need to do is find you a nice eligible female chimp who's "degree material" and you're sorted.


Personally I find the whole degree thing a bit nonsensical. Just talk to the person and you'll find out if they're intelligent. I've met far far too many people with letters after their names who are idiots to hold any kind of faith in 3rd level qualifications being a filter for intelligence.

Hermione*

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Well Shane & I didn't.

ROFL! Nice one, Tar. Sorry Cathy

I couldn't date a stupid man, nor one who wasn't well-informed, nor one who wasn't into books. The books are a big thing, I almost wouldn't trust a guy who wasn't into books (I have a mild obsession with reading materials). I'd get bored in less than a month otherwise. If you can't have a good argument with your other half, what's the point? A b/f of mine has to be able to make me think about things differently.

nesf

Hermione* wrote:

A b/f of mine has to be able to make me think about things differently.

That's a good way of putting it that works at most levels. All that changes is what things you think about in the first place.