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How to get your bf to keep his beer gut?!

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  • 31-05-2007 2:13pm
    #1
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭


    My other half has a very nice beer gut, that's formed over the last few months (I feed him well!), I love his beer gut, it's keeps me warm at night and makes me feel skinnier!

    Anyway, he's got very concerned about his gut (or puku, as he call it, he's from NZ) and is determined to get rid of it, he's full of talk of going to the gym etc. I love his puku, how do I convince him to keep it? The only thing i can thing of is to sabotage his dinners by putting lard in them.

    Any other suggestions? I figured you boys would be the best to ask!


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    #2
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,060 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    watna wrote:
    My other half has a very nice beer gut, that's formed over the last few months (I feed him well!), I love his beer gut, it's keeps me warm at night and makes me feel skinnier!

    Anyway, he's got very concerned about his gut (or puku, as he call it, he's from NZ) and is determined to get rid of it, he's full of talk of going to the gym etc. I love his puku, how do I convince him to keep it? The only thing i can thing of is to sabotage his dinners by putting lard in them.

    Any other suggestions? I figured you boys would be the best to ask!

    Send him here and he'll soon realise the error of his ways.


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    #3
    Blackhorse Slim
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 1,269 Mod ✭✭✭✭Blackhorse Slim


    Hmmm, keep the fridge well stocked with beer? That would work for me.:D


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    #4
    smashey
    Registered Users Posts: 21,676 ✭✭✭✭smashey


    Tell him to get professional help.


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    #5
    DarkJager
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,960 ✭✭✭DarkJager


    You could try something sneaky, like making him a nice healthy salad with bits of Frytex in it.... You could also tell him to stop being such a bitch, and drink like a real man. Real men do not use the gym!!!


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    #6
    DublinWriter
    Registered Users Posts: 9,555 ✭✭✭DublinWriter


    watna wrote:
    Any other suggestions? I figured you boys would be the best to ask!
    Tell him that you'll refuse to engage in any more nudie-prod if he doesn't see the error of his ways.


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    #7
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    An interesting idea DublinWriter...... I could say that if he loses the beer gut I just won't find him attracive anymore. He's actally gone for a run now... while I lie on the couch eating Haagen-Dazs. What's that all about?! I did feed him a nice big dinner though!

    p.s. nudie-prod, that's the best thing I've ever heard, I will be using that all the time from now on! :)


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    #8
    Robbo
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 10,560 Mod ✭✭✭✭Robbo


    Tell him that Guinness is considered an isotonic sports drink.

    Remember what the ads say: Before, during and after sport.

    This will allow him to think he's getting healthy when in fact he's expanding eastwards towards the Sudetenland.


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    #9
    Wishbone Ash
    Registered Users Posts: 24,967 ✭✭✭✭Wishbone Ash


    watna wrote:
    he's full of talk of going to the gym etc.
    watna wrote:
    He's actally gone for a run now
    :eek: :eek: This is very serious! I'm going to have to sit down to contemplate the repercussions of his foolhardy actions!

    *shakes head*


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    #10
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,060 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    Wishbone Ash wrote:
    :eek: :eek: This is very serious! I'm going to have to sit down to contemplate the repercussions of his foolhardy actions!

    Please have mercy on this poor misguided fool. We have to show him the light not punish him for not following the way of the Brothers.


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    #11
    trout
    Registered Users Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭trout


    Brothers & Sisters ... let us seek the wisdom of Brother Ted and his very wise wife ... that's how to handle this unfortunate situation ;)

    index-1.gif


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    #12
    Slow Motion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭Slow Motion


    "Passion Panda" Excellent :D


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    #13
    unkel
    Registered Users Posts: 65,103 ✭✭✭✭unkel


    Will you marry me, watna? :)


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    #14
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    DublinWriter wrote:
    Tell him that you'll refuse to engage in any more nudie-prod if he doesn't see the error of his ways.

    A classic phrase is born. Good man, DW :D


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    #15
    Jimoslimos
    Registered Users Posts: 4,930 ✭✭✭Jimoslimos


    unkel wrote:
    Will you marry me, watna? :)
    *ahem*
    I think this forum is not the sort of place for this kind of romantic gesturing. Take it to PI;)


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    #16
    trout
    Registered Users Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭trout


    DublinWriter wrote:
    Tell him that you'll refuse to engage in any more nudie-prod if he doesn't see the error of his ways.
    nudie-prod :D that's a blast from the past ... DublinWriter, I'm guessing you spent your formative years in the vicinity of Dublin 5 ? Am I right ?


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    #17
    MarkR
    Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,076 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    The cowgirl position will allow him to save energy while keeping him entertained. Replace milk with melted ice cream. Put chocolate sauce all over your body as a prelude to playing hide the sausage. The rest will come with time.


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    #18
    Slow Motion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭Slow Motion


    In the pub with the other half the other night, the conversation went as follows.......

    Her "Your beerbelly is getting bigger"
    Me "Yeah I know, what do you think I sould do about it ?"
    Her "Buy a bigger shirt and have another pint"

    Love that woman :D


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    #19
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    unkel, I will only marry you if you promise that we'll spend our lives together, feeding you up and cultivating a hefty beer gut.....


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    #20
    frizzefreckles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭frizzefreckles


    My God Watna there must be something in the water - my man said the same thing to me this week. Thank you for creating this thread - I am taking notes.


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    #21
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    frizzefreckles wrote:
    My God Watna there must be something in the water - my man said the same thing to me this week. Thank you for creating this thread - I am taking notes.

    I know frizzefreckles..... we must unite to stop our men becoming slimmer than we are. Men should have beer guts... it's the natural way!


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    #22
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,060 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    watna wrote:
    I know frizzefreckles..... we must unite to stop our men becoming slimmer than we are. Men should have beer guts... it's the natural way!

    Ladies where have ye been all my life?


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    #23
    frizzefreckles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭frizzefreckles


    watna wrote:
    I know frizzefreckles..... we must unite to stop our men becoming slimmer than we are. Men should have beer guts... it's the natural way!

    Oh that it is sister. There is no greater wrong in the world than a skinny man. I am going to drag my man to the pub tonight and keep him there til closing and tomorrow I'll lock all the doors to stop him getting out for a run. Surely these are steps in the right direction.


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    #24
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    hmmm, locking the doors. An interesting idea! I could lock the door and stand in front of it with a can of Guinness. He'd never go for a run then!


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    #25
    jester77
    Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Well, it's not that hard to do really and you don't even have to be too imaginative. Remember us guys are very simple in our ways!
    If he says he's hungry and wants to get something to eat, smile and say you'll bring him food.
    If he says he's thirsty, smile and say you'll get him a beer from the fridge.
    If he says he wants to do some exercise, smile, stick on his favourite DVD and drop on your knees. (His thoughts of exercise will quickly disappear)
    If he says he wants to go to the toilet, smile and... well, just smile ;)


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    #26
    frizzefreckles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭frizzefreckles


    So basically Jester you are saying to keep him sitting on the couch and run around for him. hmmmmmmmmm that sounds like it would work two fold - keep him fat and me fit. What do you think Watna?


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    #27
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    I'm in. We will remain slim and they will remain cuddly and beer gutted. A win win situation! It's the way forward!


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    #28
    jester77
    Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Now you're getting it :D


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    #29
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    oh jester77, thank you for helping us see the error of our ways. The answer was in front of us the whole time! :)


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    #30
    5starpool
    Subscribers Posts: 32,850 ✭✭✭✭5starpool


    Teh wimmins are learning. Soon they will be sentient and a "Planet of teh Wimmins" situation might arise. Brothers, I urge caution in this.


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    #31
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    You ladies will have to tell your fellas that if they don't stop trying to get rid of their belly that you will have to find someone who will be happy with it. Send them here so they can see how much competition they have.


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