How to get your bf to keep his beer gut?!

watna

My other half has a very nice beer gut, that's formed over the last few months (I feed him well!), I love his beer gut, it's keeps me warm at night and makes me feel skinnier!

Anyway, he's got very concerned about his gut (or puku, as he call it, he's from NZ) and is determined to get rid of it, he's full of talk of going to the gym etc. I love his puku, how do I convince him to keep it? The only thing i can thing of is to sabotage his dinners by putting lard in them.

Any other suggestions? I figured you boys would be the best to ask!

AlmightyCushion

watna wrote:

My other half has a very nice beer gut, that's formed over the last few months (I feed him well!), I love his beer gut, it's keeps me warm at night and makes me feel skinnier!

Anyway, he's got very concerned about his gut (or puku, as he call it, he's from NZ) and is determined to get rid of it, he's full of talk of going to the gym etc. I love his puku, how do I convince him to keep it? The only thing i can thing of is to sabotage his dinners by putting lard in them.

Any other suggestions? I figured you boys would be the best to ask!

Send him here and he'll soon realise the error of his ways.

Blackhorse Slim

Hmmm, keep the fridge well stocked with beer? That would work for me.:D

smashey

Tell him to get professional help.

DarkJager

You could try something sneaky, like making him a nice healthy salad with bits of Frytex in it.... You could also tell him to stop being such a bitch, and drink like a real man. Real men do not use the gym!!!

DublinWriter

watna wrote:

Any other suggestions? I figured you boys would be the best to ask!

Tell him that you'll refuse to engage in any more nudie-prod if he doesn't see the error of his ways.

watna

An interesting idea DublinWriter...... I could say that if he loses the beer gut I just won't find him attracive anymore. He's actally gone for a run now... while I lie on the couch eating Haagen-Dazs. What's that all about?! I did feed him a nice big dinner though!

p.s. nudie-prod, that's the best thing I've ever heard, I will be using that all the time from now on!

Robbo

Tell him that Guinness is considered an isotonic sports drink.

Remember what the ads say: Before, during and after sport.

This will allow him to think he's getting healthy when in fact he's expanding eastwards towards the Sudetenland.

Wishbone Ash

watna wrote:

he's full of talk of going to the gym etc.

watna wrote:

He's actally gone for a run now

:eek: :eek: This is very serious! I'm going to have to sit down to contemplate the repercussions of his foolhardy actions!

*shakes head*

AlmightyCushion

Wishbone Ash wrote:

:eek: :eek: This is very serious! I'm going to have to sit down to contemplate the repercussions of his foolhardy actions!

Please have mercy on this poor misguided fool. We have to show him the light not punish him for not following the way of the Brothers.

trout

Brothers & Sisters ... let us seek the wisdom of Brother Ted and his very wise wife ... that's how to handle this unfortunate situation

Slow Motion

"Passion Panda" Excellent

unkel

Will you marry me, watna?

stovelid

DublinWriter wrote:

Tell him that you'll refuse to engage in any more nudie-prod if he doesn't see the error of his ways.

A classic phrase is born. Good man, DW

Jimoslimos

unkel wrote:

Will you marry me, watna?

*ahem*
I think this forum is not the sort of place for this kind of romantic gesturing. Take it to PI;)

trout

DublinWriter wrote:

Tell him that you'll refuse to engage in any more nudie-prod if he doesn't see the error of his ways.

nudie-prod that's a blast from the past ... DublinWriter, I'm guessing you spent your formative years in the vicinity of Dublin 5 ? Am I right ?

MarkR

The cowgirl position will allow him to save energy while keeping him entertained. Replace milk with melted ice cream. Put chocolate sauce all over your body as a prelude to playing hide the sausage. The rest will come with time.

Slow Motion

In the pub with the other half the other night, the conversation went as follows.......

Her "Your beerbelly is getting bigger"
Me "Yeah I know, what do you think I sould do about it ?"
Her "Buy a bigger shirt and have another pint"

Love that woman

watna

unkel, I will only marry you if you promise that we'll spend our lives together, feeding you up and cultivating a hefty beer gut.....

frizzefreckles

My God Watna there must be something in the water - my man said the same thing to me this week. Thank you for creating this thread - I am taking notes.

watna

frizzefreckles wrote:

My God Watna there must be something in the water - my man said the same thing to me this week. Thank you for creating this thread - I am taking notes.

I know frizzefreckles..... we must unite to stop our men becoming slimmer than we are. Men should have beer guts... it's the natural way!

AlmightyCushion

watna wrote:

I know frizzefreckles..... we must unite to stop our men becoming slimmer than we are. Men should have beer guts... it's the natural way!

Ladies where have ye been all my life?

frizzefreckles

watna wrote:

I know frizzefreckles..... we must unite to stop our men becoming slimmer than we are. Men should have beer guts... it's the natural way!

Oh that it is sister. There is no greater wrong in the world than a skinny man. I am going to drag my man to the pub tonight and keep him there til closing and tomorrow I'll lock all the doors to stop him getting out for a run. Surely these are steps in the right direction.

watna

hmmm, locking the doors. An interesting idea! I could lock the door and stand in front of it with a can of Guinness. He'd never go for a run then!

jester77

Well, it's not that hard to do really and you don't even have to be too imaginative. Remember us guys are very simple in our ways!
If he says he's hungry and wants to get something to eat, smile and say you'll bring him food.
If he says he's thirsty, smile and say you'll get him a beer from the fridge.
If he says he wants to do some exercise, smile, stick on his favourite DVD and drop on your knees. (His thoughts of exercise will quickly disappear)
If he says he wants to go to the toilet, smile and... well, just smile

frizzefreckles

So basically Jester you are saying to keep him sitting on the couch and run around for him. hmmmmmmmmm that sounds like it would work two fold - keep him fat and me fit. What do you think Watna?

watna

I'm in. We will remain slim and they will remain cuddly and beer gutted. A win win situation! It's the way forward!

jester77

Now you're getting it

watna

oh jester77, thank you for helping us see the error of our ways. The answer was in front of us the whole time!

5starpool

Teh wimmins are learning. Soon they will be sentient and a "Planet of teh Wimmins" situation might arise. Brothers, I urge caution in this.

brianthebard

You ladies will have to tell your fellas that if they don't stop trying to get rid of their belly that you will have to find someone who will be happy with it. Send them here so they can see how much competition they have.

wyndham

Lot of feeders on here.

The homosexual and heterosexual communities tend to parallel each other. In a basic fat fetish relationship, one or both partners are overweight. Often, the thin partner takes a dominant role due to the other's reduced mobility.

The relationship dynamic becomes more complex if feederism is involved.

Fat fetishism may at times overlap with a breast fetish, a breast expansion fetish, an inflation fetish and/or a pregnancy fetish.

The fondling of the adipose tissue of an overweight or obese person for one with a fat fetish is usually sexually arousing and is often similar to that of mammary intercourse. They may be aroused by the presence of a pannus or other hanging flaps of skin such as those on the thighs, arms, back and other places. For those aroused by an obese male, the presence of fat under the chest simulating breasts (also known as "man boobs") is arousing.

Work those moobs baby!

You are all sick.

DarkJager

What the **** are you talking about, lil wanksta???

Zaph

He's on the wrong thread. That should have been posted on the p*ss-up thread for all the sense it makes.

watna

I didn't say the beer gut was arousing, I said I liked it cos it made him cuddly and happy. Bit of a difference. Where did the moobs part come from? They were never mentioned....

DarkJager

They are mentioned now Watna!!!! Muwhahahahahaha

watna

Can a man have a nice beer gut without the moobs? (I'm not keen on them) or dies guttage automatically = moobage?

trout

watna wrote:

Can a man have a nice beer gut without the moobs? (I'm not keen on them) or dies guttage automatically = moobage?

Moobage is not an exact science, and while not mandatory, the gut will go where the gut will go... and sometimes it goes up :rolleyes:

Generally, where moobage is within normal limits, and guttage is pronounced, research has shown that these subjects undergo a very high level of regular rythmic oscillatory motions of the lower arm & wrist region ... keeping the region of moobage "nice & tight". Typically involving no less than two hours of such motions each day.

My advice, is don't try to change your man ... learn to love the moob ... if you can't love it, at least fake it ... think of them as upper guts.

watna

Interesting... if you think of the moobs as two mini beer guts it works! So every man should in fact have THREE beer guts..... better get working on it boys!